


Jump

by lawsomeantics38



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, F/M, Friendship, Multi, Time Travel, i know it's long but it's also free, love/hate dyanmics are fun to write, the slowest of burns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-02-06 18:27:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 124
Words: 376,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12823464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lawsomeantics38/pseuds/lawsomeantics38
Summary: What happens when Bones meets a mysterious medical cadet at the Academy? Encompasses all three new movies and then some. Warning - it's long. It was supposed to be porn with a plot but then the plot got in the way. There's still sex though!





	1. Chapter 1

2035 A.D.

 

“We don’t have a choice! We’ve got to do it!”

“Come on, let’s get ready.”

“Are you sure we can do it? All 12 of us at the same time?”

“We have done it before – not to the same location, but we have all jumped at the same time.”

“No, we haven’t – we always stagger our jumps. Can she handle all of us at once?”

“Help me download everything. We need to bring the data with us. We can do that, yes?”

“But we’ve never gone forward. What if we end up nowhere?”

Sabine listened to the voices around her as they alternated between panic and steely determination. She realized questions were being directed at her and she struggled to snap out of the numbing fog enveloping her to answer.

“Yes, we can do all of us at the same time to the same location. You can download everything onto one of the keys – just hold onto it when we jump,” she took a deep breath. “And maybe we end up nowhere….but it is better than a certain death here.”

Quiet conversations stopped for a moment as she stood.

“We could put it to a vote,” she suggested, only half-serious.

“Is bad time for humor. We live, you be funny,” mumbled Tatyana as she brushed by, carrying her few belongings to her pod.

“We don’t have time for this!” Jayesh looked around pleadingly. “We have to go now or we’re going to end up like Resurrections III and V.”

“Alright. Everyone, to your pods.” Seiji had made his decision. He looked at Sabine. “Set the coordinates.”

Sabine began to move briskly, setting the dials and adjusting the knobs at the main console to prepare for the jumps. She looked over at Adjoa. “How far should we go?”

“I do not know. Perhaps 200 years?” Adjoa’s calm voice soothed her frazzled nerves.

Sabine took another deep breath; her lungs felt like they couldn’t get enough air. She hurriedly punched the years into the panel.

“Two hundred years it is. Now where do we go?”

“Leave that to me,” John replied from the console across from her. Sabine didn’t think that was the best idea but there was no time to argue. She nodded warily at him.

“Don’t worry – I’ll choose a good spot.”

“If it will even be there when we arrive,” Sabine murmured. John shot her a pained look.

“Sabs…” he groped for the right words.

“Not right now. We don’t have the time. Set our location and we leave.” She glanced over at him and he looked down, focusing on the panel in front of him, no doubt pulling up a map to select their destination. He avoided her gaze, keeping his eyes on his screen.

“If we survive this, there will be plenty of time to talk about it. But do not send us to Mississippi, mmm? Pretty much like jumping to nowhere.” She cracked a smile even though she wanted to cry or scream or collapse. He looked up at her and shook his head, smirking.

“Just had to get one last dig about my home in, didn’t ya?”

“Easy target,” she said softly. She felt the tears forming and shook them off.

“Come on, everyone. We’re running out of time. They’ll launch on us any second.” Seiji shot a pointed look towards Sabine and John, who was leaving the console to get to his pod. He turned his attention to the rest of the crew. “Let’s go, let’s go.”

“Captain, everything is ready,” Sabine called out, grabbing the tablet to take with her into her pod. Seiji nodded at her to acknowledge that he’d heard. There was a final burst of commotion as everyone grabbed whatever they could to take with them on the way to their pods. Sabine thought for a moment about what she was leaving behind. Truthfully, the station didn’t hold much so there wasn’t a lot for her to grab. Maybe pictures? A book or two? Most of what she wanted was either in her mind or on the tablet.

English was the common language on the station but as she strapped in, Sabine said a quiet prayer internally, in her own tongue. «Mon dieu, quoi qu'il arrive, que cela réussisse» She had stopped believing in any god a while ago and yet, she would still find herself talking to some imaginary deity in her head during particularly stressful situations. If this didn’t qualify as a stressful situation, nothing would. Sabine looked around. Everyone was strapped in. Several of her crewmates looked at her, their eyes begging for a reassurance she couldn’t and wouldn’t give. “Okay,” she called out. “Here we go!” Eleven other people braced themselves as Sabine flipped her tablet on and set it on the bar in front of her. She closed her eyes and placed her palms on the tablet’s surface.  The pain seared through her.  All she could see was white light and then everything went black.


	2. Chapter 2

2257 A.D. – September

 

“Bones!” Jim jogged over to his irritable friend.

“Dammit, man, how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that,” Leonard McCoy growled.

“Lighten up, Doctor. You’re gonna die early if you keep on being so cranky.” Jim enjoyed pushing McCoy’s buttons. But it was only fun because it worked. If Bones wouldn’t react, Jim would have no reason to say half the stuff he said on a daily basis to his best friend.

McCoy shot him a withering look.

“What do you want?”

“Nothing. Can’t I say hi without wanting anything?” Jim tried on innocence to see how it felt.

“No. Now what is it?” McCoy wasn’t buying any of it.

“Okay, okay… I want you to help me. I’m taking the Kobayashi Maru next week and I’d like it if you could be there – be one of my crewmen.” Jim knew that a favor like this demanded honesty.

McCoy stopped and looked at his friend. “Really? You want me there?”

“Well, yeah.”

“You know everyone fails it, right?”

“I’m not everyone. I’m Jim Kirk.”

“I hate to break it to you but that test doesn’t care who you are. You’re gonna fail it.” McCoy watched as Jim’s smile deflated a bit. “But, hell, if you want me there, I’ll be there.”

“Thanks! I knew I could count on you. You’ll watch history being made when I pass it on my first try.”

“Yeah, well, you can always take it more than once, “McCoy muttered but Jim’s attention was drawn away by a cute Orion girl walking by.

“Hey, I’ll catch you later, okay?” Jim was hot on the girl’s heels.

“Unbelievable.” Leonard rolled his eyes and continued on his way to his clinical rotation.

Because he received his medical degree and practiced for several years before enrolling in Starfleet, McCoy was at the head of his medical class. But this also meant he spent most of his time in the clinic rather than the classroom. His fellow students looked at him as one of the instructors, and many of them were considerably more afraid of him than the actual professors. McCoy knew he wasn’t exactly what you would describe as warm and fuzzy. He knew he snapped at the younger medical students and had no patience for stupid mistakes. But honestly, how was he supposed to deal with all these kids who had never taken a medical class before ending up in Starfleet? Were these really supposed to be the doctors that entire ships would rely on? It made him nauseous to contemplate how inexperienced so many of them were. They were gonna get everyone killed up there if space didn’t kill them all first.

Space. He hated flying. He hated fighting and anything that endangered life. So why was he doing this? It had started as a way out after the divorce but at some point, he’d become a valuable asset at the Academy and he knew multiple captains would be vying for him to come on their ships as a part of the senior medical staff after he graduated. But could he really do it? Was he gonna make it up there? Everyone had told him that once you got on the ships, it didn’t feel like flying. He thought they were all liars or idiots. How could you not feel it? He’d been a fool to sign his life away to these people. His thoughts were dark and full of possible space-related deaths as he walked into the clinic.

“Hello, Doctor. We’ve got a busy schedule tonight.” The nurse who greeted him had a PADD brimming with cases for him to attend to.

“Nurse Heston,” McCoy nodded at her and she fell in step with him.

“Who’s the other doctor on rotation with me?” McCoy would be there from 3pm until 3am, if there were no issues. It all depended on how competent his fellow doctor was. Nurse Heston looked down at her PADD and clicked to another screen to access the schedule of doctors.

“Let’s see….tonight, you have Latour with you.”

“Hmm. I don’t think I’ve worked with Latour yet,” McCoy tried to recall which one Latour was. “Male or female?”

“Doctor Latour is a terran female. She’s relatively new to the clinical rotation; I believe this is her 5th shift. She’s the one who always wears gloves.” She looked over at him as though that were somehow significant. McCoy had no idea why.

“Like you, she got a medical degree before coming to the Academy so she’s better than most of the ‘idiot kids.’ The nurses like her so try to be nice.”

“I can be nice,” he replied, provoking a sound from Heston that was half-snort, half-laugh.

“Sure you can – to me. Give this one a chance and maybe we’ll all have a pleasant shift.”

McCoy rolled his eyes and then smirked at Nurse Heston. “No promises.”

“Okay, Doc.”

Heston hurried off to conduct shift changes for the nurses. McCoy liked Heston. She was no-nonsense and she knew exactly how he liked things to run when he was the acting doctor at the clinic. The nurses could always be counted on to know the latest scuttlebutt and to share any scoop they had. McCoy didn’t keep abreast of school gossip but he did appreciate when nurses would share their insights about particularly stupid or troublesome cadets and conversely, he liked to know when they were pleased with a cadet, even if he didn’t always agree with them. Of course, he spent a fair share of time being just as critical of the nursing cadets as he was of the cadets seeking to be doctors. And since this clinic was meant to train cadets, and was mainly staffed by cadets, it meant he intimidated both nursing and MD cadets alike while he was there.

He still couldn’t remember which one Latour was but if she already had a medical degree, maybe she wouldn’t be completely incompetent. He headed to the men’s locker room to change into his medical clothes. Once changed, he went back to the nurse’s station to get a run-down of patients.

Upon arriving at the station, he saw a woman in the same medical scrubs as his – Doctor Latour. Her strawberry blonde curls were haphazardly pinned up but he remembered her immediately. She’d been in a couple of his classes. He was pretty sure she was a year behind him at the Academy because he hadn’t seen her before last year. She had caught his eye quickly, not because she was particularly beautiful, though she wasn’t at all unpleasant to look at. No, it had been the way she had conducted herself during lectures. While other students frequently zoned out or sent messages to one another on their PADDs, she listened attentively – almost vigilantly – to all the details. McCoy had also seen her frequently in the library, pouring over books. He wouldn’t have guessed that she’d already received a medical degree before arriving at the Academy. The questions she had asked in class indicated that she was thirsty for basic information on procedures that a medical degree should have already afforded her. He wondered if the night was going to be a disaster after all. And Nurse Heston was right – she had gloves on. They didn’t need gloves for most procedures but these didn’t look like medical gloves anyway.

“Doctor Latour, I presume,” he said as he joined her in front of the monitor where the day’s patients were tracked. She took a step away from him, leaving a good foot of space between them.

“Doctor McCoy. It is a pleasure to finally work with you,” she said, though her tone indicated it was perhaps not a pleasure at all.

“You sure about that? Something tells me you’re not excited to spend the next 12 hours with me.” McCoy had downloaded the patient list to his PADD and was scrolling through it, only half-interested in the conversation.

“Well, your reputation for making medical cadets cry precedes you,” she said wryly, while also scrolling through her PADD.

He looked up in surprise at her.

“What? You are not aware of your ogre status?” she challenged him, with a twist of the mouth that could almost be called a smile and a spark in her eye.

“Ogre, huh?”

She nodded in confirmation.

“Good,” he continued. “I don’t want people thinking they can come in here and lollygag about. This is a clinic, not a classroom. We’re treating real patients.”

“Yes, I know. This is not my first rotation. Just the first with you.”

“Yeah, well, if you stay out of my way and tend to your patients without problem, we should get along just fine.”

“Mmmm, is that all? I just need to be competent?” She was definitely goading him but he wasn’t going to take the bait. Not until he knew whether she was actually capable.

“Yes, that’s all. Seems to be a tall order around these parts. Now which patients do you want?”

She looked down at her PADD again and back at him. “We could just split the list in the middle. I am fine with that.”

McCoy noted the cadence with which she spoke and her word choices. She had just the slightest hint of an accent and he couldn’t place it. He had the distinct impression Standard was not her native language, which would be somewhat odd for a terran because almost everyone on Earth grew up learning Standard in addition to any other languages. If he had to guess, he’d say that Latour had learned Standard slightly later than the average terran. He supposed there were still pockets of the world where it was treated as a secondary language, despite Standard’s dominance on Earth and throughout the Federation.

They divided the patients amongst themselves and began their shifts, checking in with each patient on their respective PADDs. The clinic was small because truly dire emergencies could be sent directly to the local hospital just down the street from the Academy. But they could treat minor injuries like the broken bones that cadets frequently received in combat training, sicknesses, and whatever else befell Starfleet cadets. The majority of their cases involved hangovers, engineering idiocy, and allergic reactions, as beings from across the Federation would come to San Francisco and adjust to the terran atmosphere and food. Because the clinic was so tiny, McCoy and Latour would often end up in the same room, talking to patients on opposite ends. McCoy could see Latour had a good bedside manner – certainly better than his – and that she knew what she was doing. She was efficient in providing diagnoses and adept at administering the necessary hyposprays along with other basic procedures. For someone so new to the rotation, she really had won all of the nurses over; McCoy sensed their eagerness to assist her, an eagerness seldom present when he asked for a nurse to assist. He felt himself relaxing after the first few hours, semi-confident that he wasn’t going to end up babysitting his fellow doctor through the rest of the night.

During lulls, nurses and doctors gathered at the nurses’ station to chat with each other. McCoy rarely joined in on these sessions, using the time instead to either catch up on the latest issues of his favorite medical journals or to sneak into the clinic break room and comm his daughter in Georgia. But tonight, he found himself drawn to the others. Latour had a fast wit and she enjoyed socializing with the staff. To his surprise as much as anyone else’s, McCoy joined in on the conversation and laughter coming from the desk. He couldn’t remember another shift in which everyone was so relaxed and things had run so smoothly.

At one point, Latour stepped away to check on a broken leg that she’d reset and used the bone-knitter on. McCoy was about to leave when he overheard the two nurse cadets on his left talking softly to one another.

“Well, I don’t care if she is manipulating us all with her mind – the shifts when she’s here are more fun.”

“Do you think she is though? I mean, I heard that’s why she wears the gloves – because she can only manipulate through touch.”

“Maybe so. I heard she can do it all without touching. But I’ve certainly never seen it.”

“It’s so strange. She’s definitely terran, right? Not Betazoid or part Vulcan?”

“Well, she’s not part Vulcan – those ears are always a giveaway. But Betazoid would make sense.”

“She doesn’t have the eyes of a Betazoid.”

McCoy backed away from the two cadets and grabbed his PADD, retreating to the break room. They had to be discussing Latour. And now that he thought about it, he vaguely recalled rumors he’d heard at the start of his second year about a terran cadet with telepathy at the academy. He’d thought that was all they were – stupid stories that immature young adults told each other about anyone who was the slightest bit different. Like the rumors about the Orion sex gang that, much to Jim’s disappointment, turned out to be untrue. Or the rumors that the Academy was going to start taking Klingon students. Surely the telepathic terran was just another made-up tale. But what if it weren’t? From a personal perspective, he really didn’t care if she had telepathy, though the idea that she might be manipulating moods – specifically his – bothered him. But from a medical perspective, he wanted to know more – wanted to study her and figure out if and how a terran could have telepathy. As he sat there, he searched for medical articles, wondering what literature on terran telepathy existed.

McCoy was so engrossed in his search that he didn’t hear Latour come in until she nudged a chair out with her leg to sit across the circular table from him. He looked up quickly and cleared his search from the PADD screen. In her hands, she held two cups of the swill they tried to pass off as coffee here at the Academy.

“Want some?” she asked, nodding to the cups in her hands.

“Yeah, thanks,” he replied, taking one of the cups from her. As he grabbed it, his fingers brushed against the material of her gloves. She pulled her hand away quickly, as if burned, and he wondered if he had inadvertently spilt coffee on her. The fabric of her glove was soft – like cotton or suede. But the gloves seemed to cling to her hands in a way that cotton wouldn’t. They were white and ended right at the top of her wrists. McCoy decided to just go for it.

“So what’s the deal with the gloves?”

“Ah… you heard the rumors and you want confirmation.” She arched an eyebrow at him. He wanted to deny he’d heard any rumors but the nurses’ conversation was fresh in his mind.

He cocked an eyebrow right back at her.

“Yeah, I suppose so. I’d like to hear the real story from you.”

She stared hard at him before answering, her eyebrows knitted over some internal struggle.

“Fair enough.” She set her coffee down and leaned towards him in her chair, placing both hands on her edge of the table.

“I am a touch telepath. With a side of telekinetic abilities because it is not awkward enough to just read the minds of others.” Her mouth twisted into something akin to a smile at that. “Unfortunately, I have not mastered sufficient control of either ability yet.”

“You must be fun at parties,” he quipped.

“Maybe I am – for different reasons,” she shot back. He liked the feistiness.

“So it’s all true then?”

“Mmmm, no. How much have you heard? I am not a shape-shifter. I am also not Vulcan. I was born and raised here on Earth. I do not spy on peoples’ thoughts to cheat on exams. And I do not manipulate the moods of others. I cannot just make things float around for fun.” Her eyes flashed as she grew more vexed listing the various things she’d heard around the Academy.

“Easy, easy.” He held his hands up to signify his harmless intentions. “I didn’t think you were Vulcan, and the only evidence I have of mood manipulation is how relaxed the staff is tonight.”

“Maybe that is because most of them are normally scared of you. Maybe you should try being nice to them more often.”

Her chin jutted out defiantly and for just the briefest minute, McCoy wondered what it would be like to kiss her. He shook his head to get the thought out of it and let the comments about his demeanor slide because he was more interested in learning about Latour’s abilities.

“I can’t say I’ve heard of a telepathic or telekinetic terran in modern times. Common knowledge holds that terran telepaths were killed during the genocides of the late 21st century. But obviously, you exist,” he added hastily, seeing her eyes narrow.

He decided not to mention to her he’d just learned about the killings of telepaths at the end of the eugenics wars in the moments before they started talking, while he had been searching for information on terran telepathy.

“I guess some must have made it through the purges,” she shrugged, falling quiet for a minute or two before speaking again.

“I did not realize it was so rare in humans – terrans.” She chose her words carefully as she continued. “My grandmother … some of my friends … were like me so I assumed there would be more of us.”

It was clear from her body language as much as her words that discussing this was difficult.

“How many of you are there?” He was starting to feel bad for having said anything about the damn gloves in the first place but his curiosity kept getting the best of him.

She ignored his question. Her reticence to speak made McCoy think this wasn’t a common discussion for Latour. He wanted to ask her where she was from but she started speaking again.

“It was difficult when I was young and had no real guidance. I have gained a good deal of information and assistance here at the Academy. It has been useful getting to know more beings with the same abilities. The Betazoids are especially helpful.”

“What things have you learned here that you didn’t know before?”  


She shifted in her seat. “Just more discipline. How to keep myself from always doing a full mind meld. See, there are levels. Mind melds are the most dramatic form of telepathy – a complete sharing of two or more minds; memories, emotions, and thoughts. I am learning other options – just sharing emotions, or just using telepathy for mental conversations. These are fairly basic skills that telepaths like Vulcans and Betazoids learn young. I am like an old dog learning new tricks. Does that make sense?”

He nodded and she continued.

“As much help as I have gotten here, I still feel a bit isolated. I do not know anyone else who is quite like me.”

“What exactly makes you so different?” He asked the question gently. She appeared to size him up before answering and he wondered if he’d been found wanting.

“Not so much different… but stronger than most telepaths. More sensitive to those who are receptive to telepathy. There are some people – some species of beings – that can resist any attempts to communicate via the mind. But I can break through most defenses. I penetrate minds more quickly and deeply than many other telepaths. However, without full control over what I can do, it is onerous. You would not want to shake my hand and then we suddenly both know every secret the other has hidden away in their mind, hmmm?”

When she put it that way, McCoy realized he was sitting awfully close to her. Maybe they needed another table or ten between them. She seemed to sense his discomfort.

“Do not worry. I have gloves on. And I am not going to touch you. I am very particular about my personal space, for obvious reasons.”

“I’m fine. I didn’t think you were going to…”

“Yes you did. I could see it in your eyes.” He looked at her hard, wondering if maybe she was seeing his thoughts and she rolled her eyes. “You do not have to be a telepath to know when someone is uncomfortable. A pretty natural reaction after someone tells you they could perhaps read your entire mind just by bumping into you.”

He shuddered and sat back in his chair, as far away from her as possible.

“Please do not be scared of me,” she implored. “It is so very unlikely you would be that sensitive to telepathy; generally non-terran life forms are the ones I must be careful around. And I do not want in your head any more than you want in mine. Having the thoughts of another being in your head is exhausting and painful.”

Her earnest appeal to him caught McCoy off guard; it stirred something inside him. He decided to shift the conversation.

“What about the telekinesis?”

“It manifests when I am very stressed or agitated. I am not able to use it on command yet.” She would not make eye contact with him and McCoy had a feeling there was more to the telekinesis than she was willing to tell him but he didn’t push it further.

“You do realize you’re a bit of a modern marvel, don’t you?” McCoy couldn’t help but want to know more from the medical perspective – it was hard-wired into him. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Surely, others have mentioned what a feat it is to be a terran telepath and telekinetic. It would be amazing to learn more – to conduct a study.”

She sighed and he realized that he probably should have phrased that better.

“Yes, it has been mentioned a few hundred times. But I am not a lab rat, you know. I do not want to be studied and picked apart. I am more interested right now in learning to corral my skills than I am in other doctors who want to write dissertations on me.”

“But you’re a doctor – you know how useful that information could be to others who might be like you.”

“Of course I know – why do you think I went into medicine? I want to understand and to help. If studying my abilities would do the universe good, then I want to provide insight. But we know so much from other cultures and species that use telepathy and telekinesis and as you said, there are so few terrans with these skills; it is not like there is a burning need to study me.”

“Says you.”

“Yes, says me. And I am the only one who can give permission to study me. So you will have to wait before you write up that article on me for _Medical Today_.” Latour’s eyes were flashing again, her voice was raised, and he realized he needed to de-escalate the conversation. It had grown too tense.

McCoy was accustomed to this – he had been mostly unable to talk to a woman without starting an argument ever since his divorce. This had not done wonders for his love life, but he’d been perfectly fine with that till now. For some reason, he didn’t want this particular woman to be angry with him. He took a deep breath.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have implied that you belong under a microscope.”

She stared at him, perhaps gauging his sincerity. After what felt like an eternity she spoke.

“I understand. I do. If it were not myself, I would want to study me too. But not yet.”

“May I still keep asking you questions? I won’t write any articles, promise.” He gave her a half-grin. She returned it with that same twist of her mouth that he had seen earlier – not quite a smile but not a frown.

“Sure… Yes… Ask away. I reserve the right to not answer if I do not like the questions.”

“Seems more than fair.” McCoy was proud of himself for successfully circumventing another disastrous bout with a woman.

“How do the gloves fit in exactly? It’s skin to skin contact, right?” His thoughts were stuck on the whole contact issue. Her partially bare arms were distracting him.

“Yes, and it is concentrated in my hands – specifically my palms.” She held them up to illustrate.

“So if I just bump shoulders – bare skin anywhere but my palms – with the average being, I won’t pick up anything. Ninety-nine percent of the population here at the Academy is safe as long as I wear the gloves. Once I have full mastery of my skills, if I do bump into someone and that skin-to-skin contact leads to a telepathic connection, I can limit it. I am not there yet.”

“But you will be?”

“Yes. Eventually. Right now, it is like I have been given a book to read. The book is Shakespeare. And I am learning to read and understand it with the skills of a six-year-old.”

“Well, that’s comforting,” he cracked, reclining back in his chair once more, not out of fear, but because he was relaxing.

“Yes, no need to worry at all.” Latour gave another twist of her mouth and leaned back in her chair as well. A thought occurred to McCoy.

“Your palms…you’re not like Vulcans in terms of…,” he grew flustered, realizing where he was going with his question. She understood right away.

“Oh God, no. I do not make love with my hands – I am terran – I do all of that just like you do.” She was blushing as she finished speaking.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you. I just wondered if the Vulcan hand… thing was a shared trait among touch telepaths.” He realized that for two doctors, they were sure having a hard time talking about a bodily activity they frequently discussed with patients and fellow cadets.

“Mmmm, no. Maybe a general sensitivity isolated to the region where the powers of a touch telepath are concentrated. But not the sex thing. ”

He noticed that Latour had a habit of absentmindedly twirling a small section of her hair that had broken free from its pins around her fingers while she talked. He couldn’t stop watching her play with it as they talked.

“How do you handle rounds?” McCoy couldn’t imagine going through rounds worried about touching others – it was such an integral part of what they did.

“Well, the gloves really work. I got them from Nara II – a friend gave them to me. Apparently, young Naralians whose abilities are focused in their hands wear them until they master control. So if I have them on, none of my abilities should come into play. I can touch patients and do whatever a normal doctor would do. I err on the side of caution though and do try to limit my contact with other beings, just in case there is a sensitivity to telepathy.”

“Ah,” McCoy didn’t know much about Naralians, outside of the fact that their planets were a common stop for ships on shore leave due to the large number of brothels. But evidently Naralians were touch telepaths. He made a mental note to look up more information on the Nara system and telepathy. McCoy was skeptical about a thin piece of cloth, or whatever that material was, keeping her telepathic abilities at bay. He found himself staring at her hands in their gloves.

“How do I know you aren’t reading my thoughts right now? I did brush your hand when I grabbed that cup from you,” He gestured to the coffee in front of him and kept his tone light, to keep from coming off as accusatory.

She looked at him candidly. “If I were in your mind, you would know. For one thing, you would feel it – I am not practiced enough to hide it. And you would be experiencing all my thoughts and emotions as well.”

“So, basically, I’ve got to take your word for it.” He couldn’t help that a bit of skepticism seeped out. He preferred hard evidence to peoples’ words.

“My word has been sufficient up to this point.”

“You recoiled when we touched. What was that all about?”

“Habitual reaction. I avoid contact as much as possible.”

“You always flinch when you accidentally touch someone?”

She hesitated before speaking again and when she spoke she rushed the words together.

“If you want more proof, you can touch me – skin to skin contact.” He stared at her incredulously while she began to turn a deep shade of red.

“We will not share any thoughts and you can stop worrying that I will accidentally bump into you and know everything in your head.”

He continued to stare at her as though she’d grown a second head.

“Remember that I have as much to lose here as you. I do not want to share my mind with you. I make this offer because that is how certain I am we will not share a connection.”

She looked like someone who had been dared to do something and was terrified but not enough to back out.

“That’s okay. I don’t need to touch you in order to believe you.”

He meant it. Her willingness to risk contact with him in order to make her point was enough proof for him. He certainly didn’t need to tempt fate by actually touching her. Even if he found a part of himself wanting to reach out and brush the curls away from her cheek.

“Are you sure?”

She held her arm out to him timidly, bare from the wrist to the sleeve of her medical scrubs, and, despite all his reservations, he found himself again wondering what it would be like to kiss her, this time by trailing kisses up her arm. McCoy shook his head more violently and she retracted her arm. She was difficult to read but McCoy thought perhaps he saw a trace of relief in her eyes.

“No, really. I trust you.” The person he didn’t trust at that moment was himself. What had gotten into him tonight?

“Okay, good. Because I would never enter another person’s mind without their permission. It violates everything I believe in. Doing that to the mind of someone….it is equivalent to rape.”

His eyes snapped over to hers at that. “I am serious,” she said solemnly. “I cannot think of a greater violation to the self than to have someone read your thoughts or manipulate them non-consensually.”

“So that means everyone here is in a good mood tonight because they just really like working with you.” McCoy wanted to lighten the mood. The look in her eyes as she discussed mental violations troubled him. He wondered just what had happened to her along the way.

“I guess so. And you. I know the staff likes it when you are here, even if you are a cranky asshole who scares most of them. You know what you are doing and that is better than a friendly idiot on any day.”

He smirked at her and worked to put all thoughts of forced or undetected telepathy out of his head. “I guess I deserve that after prying into your secrets right after meeting you.”

“It is not a problem. I like that you asked me. No one ever does. They whisper behind my back and think I do not notice. I would rather more people were blunt like you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m a fine one to turn to if you want bluntness. I’m a blunt – what was it you said– ‘asshole.’”

“You have not been so bad yet. Maybe I caught you on a good night?”

“Or maybe you’re just a good doctor so I don’t have anything to be cross about. Precious few good doctors around here.”

“Mmmm, I do not agree. I think you are being too hard on them. You remember how difficult medical school was. And think of how much worse it would have been if you were taking all these additional Starfleet classes at the same time.”

Before they could continue the conversation, Nurse Heston interrupted.

“Doctors, you’re needed on the floor – new batch of patients just arrived from the engineering building,”

Both doctors groaned. Engineering injuries were always the worst and they always came in batches of at least two or three.

“How many?” Latour asked while grabbing a tricorder.

“Eight,” Heston replied dolefully.

“God help us all,” McCoy grumbled, grabbing his PADD and a tricorder. The night had just become less relaxing.

Despite the influx of engineering cadets, the rest of the shift was, if not pleasant, at the very least tolerable. Between McCoy and Latour, the injured were attended to; wounds cleaned and skin regenerated, hyposprays administered to all. Now that he was aware of it, McCoy watched how Latour kept herself from any contact beyond what was absolutely necessary. Perhaps that explained her upbeat bedside manner; she wouldn’t touch patients to soothe them but she did what she could with her words. Similarly, he now noticed that when she talked to the nurses at their station, she maintained a barrier, frequently positioning herself on the opposite side of the counter from everyone else. He wondered what it was like to be her, constantly negotiating spaces to keep yourself away from others while trying to maintain normal friendships and working relationships.

Come 3am, McCoy was ready to head home and catch a few hours of sleep before his next shift. But after changing, he found himself waiting patiently for Latour. He told himself he was only doing it because the gentlemanly thing to do would be to walk across the campus with her to cadet housing. The Academy was a safe place but it was still in the heart of a big city and no one should have to walk it alone at night.

After a few minutes, Latour showed up at the clinic entrance. She was surprised to find McCoy still there, waiting for her.

“I thought you would be long gone by now. You did not wait too long for me?” She asked the question with genuine concern. Doctors understood how precious sleep was when working the clinical rotation.

“Only a few minutes. I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I knew I had left you to walk back alone.”

“Ah, your southern hospitality shines through.” She grinned that same pseudo-grin at him and they began their walk home, separated by nothing more than the 6 inches of air between them.

“You can tell, huh? I guess the accent gives it away.”

“Yes. One of my closest friends is a southerner – from Mississippi.”

“Really? Well, how ‘bout that. And where are you from?”

The question seemed to give her pause. McCoy cursed himself for asking her yet another question that she didn’t want to answer. Their talk in the break room had held enough awkwardness and gravity for one night. At the same time, he wondered how she managed to make friends if asking where she was from made her uncomfortable.

“I guess I am from a little bit of everywhere. We moved around a great deal.”

“But you aren’t American, are you? I hear an accent but I don’t recognize it….” McCoy couldn’t help it. He was curious by nature and he wanted to know more about her.

“No, I am not American. My dad was half-Ivorien – from his mother – so I grew up speaking the dialect spoken there.”

“Ivorian?”

“Côte d’Ivoire – Africa.” He really heard the accent when she said the name of the country and he felt foolish for not realizing an Ivorian would be someone from the Ivory Coast. He also noted that she used the archaic title for the country. It hadn’t been called Côte d’Ivoire for quite some time. He had worked with Ivorians before and remembered their accents sounding much different than what he was hearing from Latour but he took her at her word – perhaps moving around a lot had given her a mélange of accents.

“Ah, okay. That explains it.” McCoy decided to turn the conversation away from Latour, in hopes of putting her at ease. He still had questions but he figured it was best to leave them unasked for the time being.

“So, quite a shift tonight, huh?” He wanted to kick himself for his inability to find a better topic.

“Mmmm…those engineering cadets are going to kill us all if they are not more careful.” He liked the little hum she made every so often when speaking.

“I don’t understand why they were messing with a warp core to begin with.”

“One of them told me they were hoping to plug one warp core into another to see what would happen. Something about an interdimensional rift they were hoping to create? We are lucky they did not show up in body bags.”

“Jesus. They’ve all got a death wish and to hell with everyone else.”

McCoy found that as long as he didn’t ask a question that led to discomfort on Latour’s part, they were able to converse easily. They kept the conversation light, discussing various funny and awkward situations involving patients. Before he knew it, they were in front of the complex where Latour lived.

“Well, Latour, it was a pleasure. I’d be happy to have you work a shift with me again.”

“I feel like I just aced a very hard test. What an honor to not be chewed out by the fearsome McCoy.”

“I’m not that horrible, am I?”

“No. I enjoyed the shift. I think the medical cadets have greatly exaggerated how much of a curmudgeon you are. I believe I saw you smile at one point.” Her eyes twinkled.

“Hmph. Don’t tell anyone. I’d hate ruining my reputation.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” At this, there was a lull in the conversation. McCoy knew he should make his exit but he didn’t want to leave yet. Despite the fatigue he felt all the way to his bones, he wasn’t ready for the night to end.

“After spending this much time together, I ought to know your name… Your first name,” he added as she opened her mouth to tell him he already knew her name. She took a moment to regroup and then responded.

“Ah, yes. We did not do formal introductions. My name is Sabine.”

“Sabine Latour.” He said her name as though it were a bourbon he was tasting. A bourbon he liked.

“I’m Leonard, but no one calls me that. You can call me Leo or Len. That’s what my friends call me.” He deliberately omitted the nickname Jim had been using since the first day they’d met on the shuttle from Iowa to the Academy.

“Leo McCoy, hmmm?” She smiled at him. “Well, Leo, it was a pleasure meeting you.”

This time, he believed her. She stuck her hand out and he took it in his without pausing, holding it briefly before letting it go. It wasn’t until he’d let go that he realized the implications of touching her hand. He searched her face, trying to divine if she had experienced any hint of telepathic activity. McCoy hadn’t felt anything but the warmth of her hand in his for far too short a moment.

She smiled at him. “The gloves – they really work.”

“That obvious what I was thinking?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Hey, look, would you like to get together sometime?” McCoy surprised even himself with his forwardness. She hesitated to answer and he saw a number of conflicting emotions pass over her face.

“Nothing serious,” he added to reassure her. “We could just study, grab a quick bite to eat, take care of all the injured engineering cadets…”

As he rambled, McCoy realized he was feeling something he hadn’t felt since undergrad; the fear and exhilaration of asking a pretty girl out. He hadn’t thought this would happen while at the Academy. Before he’d arrived, he had sworn off all women for the rest of his life. But more than 2 years had gone by and here was a pretty girl that he wanted to spend more time with. He didn’t have to marry her. Hell, he was half-afraid to touch her. But he sure wanted to talk to her again.

Sabine finally spoke. “Yes. I would very much like that.” Her voice was soft and thoughtful, as though she had carefully considered the positives and negatives of both responses.

McCoy broke into a rare wide grin. “Well, that’s just great.” They exchanged information and he made his goodbyes, realizing that she was as eager to catch some sleep as he was.


	3. Chapter 3

_It was dark and every part of her hurt. She knew this room. Could smell the acrid stench wafting in from the lab next door. Could smell her own sweat – created by both physical exertion and fear. Her saliva was metallic-tasting in her mouth because it mixed with the blood she had spit up._

_She was confined to the chair. Restraints on her arms and at her wrists. Her legs were constricted as well. She needed to get out. That was the only way to survive. Get out of the chair and run. Just keep running._

_A voice booming in the darkness._

_“You can make this better. All you have to do is make the light turn on.”_

_“I can’t,” she cried. “I cannot do it. I tried, I really did.”_

_“Liar.” A bolt of electricity ran through her._

_She wanted it to end. What could she do to make that light turn on? Her wrists were sticky with blood she’d drawn by struggling against the restraints. They would let her die if she didn’t do this. She knew it. But she couldn’t command her abilities. She didn’t know how to turn a light on deliberately. Anything she’d ever done had been accidental, usually when she was under duress. Another shock ran through her and she screamed._

_“Please,” she sobbed. “I can’t. I wish I could but I can’t.”_

_The response was more electricity and finally, a white light appeared as she slipped out of consciousness…._

_Now she was in Paris. She was walking along the Seine holding hands with…who was this? This wasn’t Dinesh. What was **he** doing here? Where was Dinesh?_

_Now she was in the shipyards in Riverside, Iowa just after the final jump. So sore, she needed help standing up. But no one was there to help. This wasn’t right. She was the last one to recover and she had awakened to all of them hovering over her. She knew they had all survived. They were all together. But as she crawled over to the closest body, she saw that it was lifeless._

_“Non non non,” she begged. “Tatyana, lève-toi!”_

_But Tatyana’s body was cold to the touch; rigor mortis had set in. Her lifeless eyes were accusing. Sabine recoiled and gathered the strength to check another body. They were dead, all of them. Only she had survived and all their dead eyes blamed her._

_“_ _J'ai fait une erreur_ _,” she sobbed. “J’ai réglé la minuterie pour 220 ans au lieu de 200. Mais nous avons tous vécu, je vous le promets. Nous sommes tous vivants!”_

_But instead, the silent bodies in front of her began to decompose. She wanted to close her eyes or run but she couldn’t move, couldn’t even scream. Frozen._

_Now she was in a room she’d never been in. Screens in front of her displayed various parts of Paris. She was filled with dread as a countdown echoed through the room. She knew what would happen at 1. Helplessly, she watched the bright flash of light fill every screen. A giant mushroom cloud replaced the vistas of Paris. Tears rolled down her cheeks._

_Now she was walking through the rubble of what had once been her hometown. People wailed around her as they suffered the effects of nuclear winter. Their flesh would peel away like wallpaper off a wall. She couldn’t help anyone. She had no medical supplies with her. She didn’t even know what part of Paris this would have been. There were no distinguishing landmarks left. And yet, somehow, she ended up in front of two bodies and though they were mutilated beyond recognition, she knew they were her parents. A guttural scream ripped through her._

And suddenly, she was awake. She was back in her room at the Academy and she remained very still in her bed, painfully aware of the fact that anything in the room not bolted to the floor was levitating and that she was the cause. She needed to calm down and put everything back down. The chair, the desk, her PADD and communicator, and clothes. It all needed to come back down gently. She focused on her breathing.

In and out, in and out.

It had been a particularly bad dream but she could manage. She just needed to be calm and patient. This was why she had a single room rather than sharing a suite with one or more roommates. She had to be alone for everyone’s safety. They’d learned that the hard way.

In and out, in and out.

Slowly, she brought the clothes and devices down.

In and out, in and out.

Then the chair. Careful, so carefully. Don’t break the furniture that is not really yours.

In and out, in and out.

Finally the desk. It came down with a dull thud but she had done it. She had brought everything down, rather than smashing it in her sleep.

Exhausted from the toll that bringing everything down had taken on her, she remained lying down. Memories from the dream flashed before her eyes and she winced. She didn’t want to remember it. But she reached over to her PADD and pulled up a fresh screen to write down as much as she remembered. She had to document everything if she were to have any chance of overcoming this.


	4. Chapter 4

McCoy didn’t usually remember his dreams. When he slept, he was dead to the world. But he woke up late in the morning – almost noon – and all he could think about was the dream he’d had. It was mostly gone before he fully gained consciousness but the part he remembered – _he was walking hand in hand with someone._ He didn’t recognize the city but there was something familiar about it. He’d seen that giant metal structure before. Where? Who was he walking with? Why did he feel so uneasy?

He shook his head in an effort to clear the remnants of sleepy, queasy unrest. It was a silly dream. He was fine. He needed to get a move on. The clinic was expecting him at 1pm.

Due to life getting in the way, McCoy didn’t have a chance to comm Sabine for a few days after that first night. He’d ended up pulling a couple of double shifts at the clinic when another cadet called in sick and after that, he’d taken a day to catch up on some needed sleep and attend the one class he was taking that semester. Even though he hadn’t commed her, she was on his mind constantly. He couldn’t explain what it was about Sabine that drew him so powerfully; he just knew that he wanted to get to know her better. One thing he was certain of was that his interest was not purely scientific. Of course he wanted to learn more about her unique skills. But the thoughts he’d had of kissing her and his desire to keep holding her hand at the end of the evening had convinced him this was more than collegial interest. And that left him feeling befuddled as to how to approach her again.

It wasn’t like McCoy hadn’t interacted with women at the Academy. While he hadn’t been in a relationship since his divorce from Jocelyn, there had been the occasional one-night stand. Not the laundry list of women that Kirk had racked up, but he was a man who got lonely every once in a while. And he had developed friendships with some of the female cadets, even if they found themselves frequently arguing. Still, this felt like something different from a casual friendship between classmates. He was surprised to discover just how nervous he was when he finally reached for his communicator to contact Sabine Latour.

“Sabine, it’s Leo, uh, Leonard McCoy,” he choked out when she answered his comm.

“Leo! Hello. You waited the traditional several days to comm me,” she replied and in his mind, he could see her screwing her mouth up into that friendly grimace she had when she teased.

“Well, yeah. I gave you the chance to forget who I was or conveniently get a new communicator,” he replied.

“Mmmm. Silly me. I have not forgotten you or acquired a new communicator. I suppose we will just have to get to know each other now.”

“How awful. Want to commiserate over some food?”

“Yes. When? And where?”

“I’m thinking of a place…can you tell me the name?”

“You know that is not how it works. And you should be careful, funny guy. Keep this up and I might take the gloves off one of these days.”

“I might like that.”

“Really?” He could hear her disbelief.

“No. I just couldn’t think of a better comeback.” She laughed in response and he joined in.

They made plans to meet that Friday at one of McCoy’s favorite restaurants in the heart of the city. It was a little bit far from the Academy, but McCoy preferred that. The last thing he wanted was for Kirk or some other chucklehead cadet to show up.


	5. Chapter 5

Sabine flipped her communicator closed after saying goodbye to Leo McCoy and found two sets of eyes staring very intently at her.

“Who THAT?” Tatyana asked with her signature flair for dramatics.

“Yeah, spill the beans. Who were you being all flirty with?” Maria chimed in.

Sabine grimaced. “It was just another doctor I met on my clinical rotation the other night. Not a big deal. Stop looking at me like that.”

“Not big deal? Is very much big deal. You not able to flirt.” Tatyana was also a compulsive exaggerator who loved indulging in hyperbole.

“Not true. I can flirt. You have seen me flirt before.”

“Um, not really. Getting drunk on the dance floor doesn’t count. You haven’t really had a normal relationship with any man since….,” Maria trailed off, hesitant to say more.

“Since Dinesh? Is that what you want to say? We can say his name. It has been almost three years.” Sabine felt a lump in her throat but ignored it.

“Exact! Three years – too long off market. Sabs, groove backwards.”

Sabine rolled her eyes at both of them. She hated being ganged-up on, especially by these two. They were so nosy.

“Firstly, I have flirted with several men since we have been here,” She saw Maria getting ready to object and cut her off. “They count! I do not need to sleep with them for it to count. Secondly, this is just a friendly dinner. Please do not be weird about it. And Taty, it is ‘get your groove back’ which no one says around here.”

“She’s right, Taty. That saying is outdated,” Maria could always be counted on for language advice. She was from Juarez, Mexico – so close to the Texas border that she had gone to grade school in El Paso and learned nearly flawless English at a younger age than the rest of the non-native English speakers in their group. Along with John, Anthony, Oliver, and Theo, all of whom were native English speakers, she had made a quick transition to Standard. Jayesh, who was Indian and had grown up speaking English in addition to Punjabi, also seemed to handle the transition pretty easily. For the rest of them, there had been varying degrees of difficulty in the adjustment. Sabine was pretty sure she would never fully master contractions.

“Fine. But is different, this guy. Yes? You sound different. He not guy you pick up in club. You no talk after. You no look like that with club guys.”

“She’s got a point. You looked….really happy just now. It was sweet.”

“Maybe I am just happy to have a friend who does not harass me, hmmm?”

“You mention gloves. He know?” Taty struggled the most with Standard, in part because there were quite a few Russians at the Academy so she could speak her own language more often and in part because she learned English later than most of them had.

“Yes. He knows. Just that I am a touch telepath. That is all I told him. And it is all I will tell him for now.”

The other two looked at each other knowingly.

“Well, if that changes, you know you can count on us. If you want to tell him, we can be there for you. Keep you from getting caught.”

“You are getting ahead of yourselves. This is just a dinner. Can I just enjoy this one dinner?”

Sabine thought, not for the first time, that part of the reason she didn’t date was because everything got so complicated so quickly. She just wanted to get to know McCoy without any busybody observers. She should never have taken his comm in front of these two. They would run back and tell everyone in the group and it would become a thing. She didn’t want a thing.

“Sure, Sabs. You can enjoy this. No pressure.”

“No pressure but baby clock run.”

“Taty, shut up.”

The three women made their way to the classroom quad. Maria, thankfully, changed the subject and Sabine was able to relax and allow the other two to carry the conversation while she thought about her upcoming dinner with Leo McCoy. She really liked that he had been so direct with her the other night. He didn’t suffer fools and she respected that. She appreciated how he had pushed back at her and wasn’t afraid to ask more questions. It was so rare that she talked to someone as straightforward and curious as him. And it had her petrified for the next round of questions he might volley at her. She didn’t want to lie. But she couldn’t tell him the whole truth either. She hoped the dinner wouldn’t be a disaster.

The girls parted ways to go to their respective classes. Tatyana was on the engineering track; Maria, the communications track. Sabine had an anatomy class to get to. They all agreed to meet up later with the group. Sabine really hoped this wasn’t going to be a thing.


	6. Chapter 6

Of course, it was a thing. John and Anthony immediately wanted to find McCoy and size him up. Sabine had to beg them to leave it alone. Mía wanted to come over and help her get ready for the dinner. Jinjing thought she should do something different with her hair. Seiji and Jayesh just wanted to tease her mercilessly about finally getting some (“Some what?” She had wondered initially and then it became clear). Oliver and Theo were quiet as always but that almost worried her more. They were plotters. Pretty much the only person who didn’t get on Sabine’s last nerve before Friday was Adjoa, perhaps because they were so close to one another.

Adjoa was Sabine’s best friend. Though the twelve of them were thick as thieves, there were several especially tight friendships within the group and the friendship between Sabine and Adjoa was the tightest. The two women were kindred spirits. Adjoa, being from Togo, was the only person Sabine could still speak with in her native tongue. When Sabine needed to bounce ideas off of another person or seek advice, she always sought out Adjoa first. And that was how she found herself on Friday morning, sitting on the floor of her dorm room, looking up at her closest friend, who was reclining on her bed.

“When we met at the clinic, he asked me so many questions. C'était fou!”

When it was just the two of them, Sabine and Adjoa would speak a mix of English (now Standard; Sabine was constantly reminding herself that no one called it English anymore) and French – what they had once called franglais.

“Mais, ma chere, étaient les questions auxquelles tu veuilles répondre? Did you enjoy la conversation?”

“Oui et non. C’est difficile to explain. I didn’t like answering questions about ma télépathie, mais au même temps, I really liked that he asked me. And he acted like it was a normal thing to do. He was very straightforward. Et gentil, à sa manière.”

“C’est bon, ça. But you are worried?”

“Yes. Je suis inquiet qu'il va poser plus de questions. I don’t want to lie.”

“Keep the conversation concentrée sur lui.”

“Je sais. But he’s so curious.”

“Parce que he likes you.”

“How did you do it with Shrax?”

Adjoa had been dating an Andorian for almost a year at this point.

“Bon. Once I knew we were sérieux, I told him tout. Well, almost tout.”

“I know, mais avant ça?”

“C'était difficile. I lied a bit, evaded questions. It was not good for our relationship. Mais, nous sommes bons maintenant.”

“That is what I was afraid of – the lying and evading. I just want to be complètement honnête.”

“If he really likes you, cela n'aura pas d'importance. He will overlook everything once you explain, if you get to that point. Et sinon? He is not worth it… Boeuf, I need to get to class. Toi, you will be fine. Just enjoy the dîner.”

“Okay. Merci! We’ll talk demain?”

“Bien sûr. Bon courage!” With a quick hug, Adjoa took off for class.

Sabine had a class that afternoon and she knew she ought to head to the library beforehand to get a couple of hours of study in. But she couldn’t concentrate on anything. Her mind kept wandering to the conversations she’d had with McCoy and that led her to speculate on how the evening would go. By the time she had gotten ready and made her way to the restaurant, she was in dire need of a drink to help relax her high-strung nerves. She had arrived before McCoy and walked up to the bar. He had said he’d meet her there. She ordered a glass of Risan wine and sat on one the stools, facing outward. After a few sips, she felt herself relaxing and she began to take in her surroundings.

The restaurant was quaint and perfect. There was an antique piano in the corner, being played by a Rigelian. Each table had its own candle burning in the center, and the walls were covered in vintage travel posters, advertising places like Risa, Vulcan, and Rigel IV. On the rare occasions when she let herself stop to think about it, Sabine was amazed by how much had changed in almost 223 years, and how much was still so similar to her time. This restaurant could have been one she had visited in her own hometown, minus the fact that the posters here were advertising other worlds. She didn’t have long to entertain that line of thought because McCoy arrived and the sight of him set the butterflies in her stomach on a crash course. He was strikingly handsome. Tall, dark hair, hazel eyes…and he looked good in civilian clothes. Really good. Sabine took a huge gulp of wine as she watched his eyes scan the restaurant and finally alight on her. His face lit up and he made his way over to her. Sabine was pretty certain her face was flushed and she worried that the smile she gave him was too much – too excited, too eager. But she couldn’t help it. She was delighted to see him.

“Hi. You look amazing. Glad to see you got yourself a drink.” His voice was low because he had gotten as close to her as he could without touching. His head was bent down towards hers and she had to fight an impulse to touch his perfectly tousled hair. He motioned for the bartender.

“You look pretty great yourself. We clean up rather nice, hmmm?”

“I’d say. Have you been here long?”

“No, just a few minutes. I very much like this place. It feels familiar.”

“Good, I was hoping you’d enjoy it. I know it’s a hike, but I like getting away from the bars and slop-houses by the Academy. And the food’s really good.” With that McCoy ordered himself a drink – bourbon on the rocks.

“You are saying all the right things. I… I’m famished.” She hoped that was the right contraction. And she was hungry. Sabine realized she’d forgotten to eat at all during the day, due to her nervous anticipation.

“Good, a woman with an appetite. I like it. Should we get a table?”

“Yes, please.”

He offered his arm and she took it. They both had long sleeves on so there was no danger of skin to skin contact. She wondered if he would have offered his arm had they been in short sleeves. They made their way to the host, who seemed to know McCoy well, and he seated them at a cozy table in the corner, close enough to enjoy the live music without straining to hear one another. After they were settled, with menus in hand, Sabine remembered her plan for the evening.

“We talked a lot about me the other night. I thought maybe tonight you could tell me about yourself.”

He looked at her, a lazy grin on his face and she was struck anew by how damn gorgeous he was. She hadn’t fully acknowledged it at the clinic; they’d been talking about a subject that distracted her from recognizing his good looks. And he seemed different here. Calm, content, in control but still relaxed. Sabine hoped she would be able to keep the conversation on him because she genuinely wanted to know more.

“What? You mean you don’t want to pick up where we left off?”

Her face fell and he chuckled.

“I’m kidding. I want tonight to be enjoyable. For both of us. Ask me anything.”

She smiled in relief and felt the tension she’d been carrying melt away.

“So tell me where in the South you are from.”


	7. Chapter 7

The conversation was easy. They were so enthralled with one another that the wait staff let them talk for 45 minutes before intervening to ask what they wanted to eat. A bottle of wine had been ordered and Sabine felt a slight buzz as she laughed at McCoy’s stories. She even contributed her own tales, all true, even if she did omit the occasional detail that would have given him pause. He was finishing a particularly funny story about a series of fishing trips with his dad and Sabine had laughed so much that tears were forming in the corners of her eyes.

“…And that was the last time my dad took me fishing.”

Sabine laughed heartily and McCoy chuckled with her.

“Oh, your dad! He sounds like a wonderful – and very patient – man.” She wiped the tears from her eyes but then noticed that McCoy had sobered up quickly.

“He was. He was a great man. I miss him all the time.”

“I am so sorry.” They sat silently for a moment. “I miss my parents too. It has been a few years since they passed, but no one explains to you that even as an adult, you feel like an orphan once your parents have died.”

McCoy resisted the urge to ask her questions about how her parents had died. He knew that he wouldn’t want to answer the same questions if they were pointed at him.

“It’s true. You never outgrow the need for a parent.” McCoy paused and then decided to tell her more. In light of all she had shared with him, it seemed like a fair trade. “I still feel guilty to this day about his death.”

She looked at him and it almost hurt to see how much compassion she could convey with those bright green eyes.

“Not a day goes by that I do not blame myself for my parents dying. Not a day. I am constantly reminded by my friends that such feelings are in error.”

“But what if you were to blame? Not you. Me. I’m to blame for my father’s death.”

“It might feel that way, but I do not believe it. Not for a moment. You could tell me you poisoned him or took a knife to him and I would still think there was more to it. I would know that whatever you did, you had his best interests at heart.”

He scrutinized her. “Are you in my head?”

“No. I told you, I would never do that and you would know if I tried,” She didn’t sound angry – perhaps mildly annoyed. Then her tone changed. “But I know what it is like to be certain that you are the one to blame for the death of loved ones. I know what it feels like to carry the ghosts of others around. And I have to work every day to convince myself that I did the best I could at the time I made certain decisions. We should not vilify ourselves. I know I loved the people I lost more than words could describe. I never wanted anything but happiness for them.”

She fell mute and again wiped her eyes, the tears this time coming from sadness.

“And I believe the same about you. That whatever you may have done or not done, it was out of love.”

“How can you know?” He wanted to believe her words, to find absolution in them.

“Because you showed me kindness where some others have not. Because I watched you with your patients and I saw how you comforted them, even while grumping at them. Because I choose to believe the best about humanity.” She smiled shakily at him. “And because anyone who would hear even half of what you have told me tonight about your dad would know in an instant how much you love him.”

They sat in mutual silence for another moment.

“We must be cursed,” she said softly and he looked at her quizzically. “Despite our best efforts, we seem doomed to very serious conversations, Leo McCoy.” She gave him that twisted semi-smile. “We were really doing well for a bit there…”

“We should rectify this. No more sad talk for the rest of the night. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Their food arrived at that moment and Sabine remembered again how much she was looking forward to eating. For a few minutes, they ate in companionable quiet.

“Mmmm, this is so good. I will always let you choose the restaurant,” she said without thinking. The minute the words left her lips, she blushed. “That is…if we do this again.”

“I hope we do. We need to make it through one night together without angst.”

“The night is still young. We can call it a success if we keep things happy from here. Play 20 questions with me – but nothing difficult!”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Green. And you?”

“Blue. Your turn to ask a question.”

“Hmmm. What is your favorite song?”

“Oh that’s a hard one. Might take a while – it’s like picking a favorite child.”

“Well, that should be easy. You only have one child.” He had told her about Joanna early in the evening.

“That I know of.” She raised an eyebrow at him as he grinned wickedly. “I’m kidding. Yes, I only have one. So she’s my favorite. But songs are harder.”

“What about your favorite drink?”

“Ah, now that’s easy. You’re looking at it,” he said as he held up his empty bourbon glass.

“You need more?”

“Maybe so.” He motioned the waiter to bring another. “And your favorite drink?”

“I have grown quite fond of Risan wine.” She held up her half-full wine glass.

“What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done?” He grinned conspiratorially at her.

“Oh no,” she replied. “That is information for a later date.”

He put on a mock frown for a moment and then, “Well, then I better clear my schedule so I can take you out enough times to get to hear the tale.”

“I think you will get to hear it. Just not tonight. I have to save something for another night.”

“In that case, I’ll save my story as well.”

It was her turn to pout. But then she turned woeful.

“I am afraid you may be disappointed when I finally share my wild tale. It is, perhaps, not that wild.”

“Don’t worry, darlin’. After living with Jim, no one is going to have stories that beat his.”

“Jim is your roommate?” She asked the question while her insides fluttered over being called darlin’.

“Yeah. He’s an idiot. But he makes for great stories.”

“I met a Jim at one of the bars right after starting at the Academy,” she mused.

“What did he look like?”

“Blondish hair and very blue eyes. Overly confident.”

“That sounds like him. Did he hit on you?”

“Yes. He was unsuccessful with me but he did take my friend, Tatyana, home that night. She said it was a very fun evening.”

“Tatyana…is she Russian?”

Sabine nodded.

“Well, if it’s the same girl I’m thinking of, I can confirm that a good time was had by everyone but me. I didn’t sleep a wink that night….if it’s the same girl.”

Sabine giggled. “Oh wow. Did she have dark hair about down to here?” She motioned to right above her breast. McCoy almost choked on his drink.

“I never saw her. Just heard her.”

Sabine’s giggles turned into a full laugh and she threw her head back. McCoy enjoyed looking at her neck, wondering what it would feel like to glide his mouth along it, to nuzzle her hair, and nip on her earlobe. The minute he saw her in that dress, he’d given up all pretenses of just friendship. He wanted her.

“Oh no. And is this a regular occurrence at your place?”

“Yeah, yeah it is. Jim’s a real lady’s man.”

“I am afraid he would get along a little too well with a couple of my guy friends. And maybe sleep with most of my girlfriends. We should do our best to keep them away from one another.”

“I won’t say anything to him, and you don’t say anything to your friends and let’s see how that works for us.”

“Agreed.” She looked at him with a smile playing at her lips. “This is fun. I would never have thought I would laugh so much tonight. I spent most of today very nervous.” She stopped herself and blushed. “I did not mean to tell you that. Too much wine,” she murmured.

“You were nervous? Me too.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely terrified. I don’t do this very often.”

“You are the anti-Jim?”

“I guess you could say that. Maybe just responsible and serious? An adult?”

“But you went against all that adult responsibility and decided to ask me out?”

“Well, I asked you out. I don’t know if that goes against being a responsible adult.”

It was her turn to give him a mischievous grin and he was glad they were in public because he didn’t know if he’d be able to resist that look behind closed doors. Maybe he had stopped being a responsible adult after all. He cleared his throat and continued. “Seemed like it was worth the risk. And it’s turned out to be even better than I hoped.”

“Mmmm, I will drink to that.”

“To a successful first date,” he said raising his glass.

“Cin cin,” she responded, raising her glass to meet his. “But the night isn’t over yet.”

“So you’re tellin’ me I still have time to mess this up?”

“I do not think you could but I do not want you to accept that as a challenge.”

“I’ll do my best to just be charming and enjoyable.”

“That should not be hard for you.”

The waiter came to take their plates. They continued to chat until they’d finished their drinks at which point, McCoy insisted on taking care of the bill, even though Sabine wanted to split the credits down the middle. She gave up and let him use his credits to cover the whole thing. They headed out into the street to see if they could catch a hovercab back to the Academy, but there were none to be found and the weather was nice so they decided to walk back together.

At some point along the walk, McCoy took her hand in his. They were still talking about nothing and everything but Sabine could only think about how close they were to one another and the heat from his hand against her gloved hand. Their fingers interlaced. She wished, not for the first time, that she could go without the gloves, and actually feel his skin against hers. At a well-lit park, she stopped and he looked over at her in confusion.

“Will you let me try something?” She asked him and he nodded. He couldn’t bring himself to open his mouth because if he did, he would tell her how absolutely beautiful she looked under the lamplight. And if he were feeling really reckless, he’d try to kiss her; he had told himself during the week that he wasn’t going to make any moves on her tonight but every additional minute they spent together made him doubt he would walk away without kissing her. He watched as she pulled her hand away from his and removed the glove. His eyes widened.

“Do not worry,” she murmured. She removed her other glove and tossed them both aside on a bench.

“Worry isn’t the emotion I’m feelin’ right now,” he practically growled. He didn’t know what she had planned but she could run her telepathic palms all over every inch of whatever bare skin she could find on him and he would let her. His pragmatic, responsible, risk-adverse side was shouting at the rest of him to get a grip but he was in no mood to listen.

She turned to face him. “Hold your hands out flat, palms up, like this.” He hesitated, more confused than apprehensive. “Trust me,” she whispered. He held his hands out to her as she’d requested. She lowered her hands towards his and delicately placed the pads of her fingers on his. He looked down at their hands, touching but avoiding any contact with the palms, and then he looked back up into her eyes. He guessed this resolved the question as to whether he was overly sensitive to telepathy.

“I wanted to feel your hands against mine, without any gloves in the way. This is the only way I could think to do it.” Her fingers were cool to the touch and he wrapped his left hand around the fingers of her right hand, careful to avoid her palms, and brought her hand to his lips.

Sabine gasped softly as McCoy kissed her fingers and he thought to himself he would die happy if he could get her to make that sound every night for the foreseeable future. He lowered her hand and let it go, never breaking eye contact with her. She moved closer to him and he took the unspoken invitation to wrap his arms around her, bringing her even closer. He could feel her chest against his own, rising and falling with every breath she took. He could smell her perfume, the shampoo she had used to wash her hair, and the lip-gloss she had applied as they were leaving the restaurant. She dug her fingers into the back of his jacket briefly, then ran her hands up and down his back.

“Leo,” she sighed.

“Sabine, darlin’, if you say my name like that again, we won’t make it back to the Academy.”

“Well, that would certainly be a story to compare to any of Jim’s.” He smiled and huffed softly.

“I’m not tryin’ to compete with Jim. I’m tryin’ to kiss the most beautiful woman I’ve ever held in my arms.”

He felt her quiver at his words and he dipped his head down to her upturned face. Their lips met gently and he tasted sweet Risan wine. She melted into him, fitting her body into the empty spaces against his. The kiss deepened and she moaned with pleasure as he gently sucked her lower lip. Their mouths opened to one another and each of them became more insistent, their tongues moving against one another as if in a dance. She kept her hands on his back, separated from his skin by several layers of clothes. He pulled her as close as he could, one hand on her back and the other lower, caressing her buttocks as desire burned a fuse in him. She could feel him grow hard against her thigh and she leaned into it, rubbing him with her body. He responded with a muffled groan and she continued to move against him, reveling in how good it felt to have his skilled hands on her body, his mouth against hers, and his desire so evident.

A part of her mind screamed out that she needed to end this before it spiraled out of control but she ignored it, too saturated with her own desire. She wanted to indulge the part of her that had been too long starved for intimacy like this. After what could have been minutes or hours, they pulled slightly apart from one another, blurry-eyed, lips swollen, and breathing heavily. He ran his fingers through her wild curls; something he’d wanted to do from the moment he watched her twist that curl idly around her fingers in the clinic break room. They stared into each other’s eyes for a beat.

“I have not done this in a long time.” Her voice was husky.

“If you let me, I’ll kiss you like this every day.”

She shivered again but this time he saw panic in her eyes.

“Is everything okay?”

“I do not know. It is wonderful right now. But it escalated quickly. I did not want to stop but I am not ready for what happens next.” She looked at him sadly.

“What’s wrong with what happens next?” He whispered, cupping her chin in his hand. Her hands rested on his chest.

“I should not move this fast. I did not say anything the other night, because I did not know we would end up here, but….” She faltered, feeling awkward and ashamed and pulled completely away from him, her eyes fixed down at the ground.

“What is it? Is sex a trigger for your telepathy?” He had been doing some reading on his breaks at the clinic.

She looked up at him and nodded, looking miserable.

“Sabine, darlin’, it’s okay. I’m not gonna try to sleep with you. Not until you’re sure you’re ready. Hell, I wasn’t even gonna kiss you tonight but one thing led to another and I’m sorry I got carried away. If we need to take this slow, I’ll go slow – I’ll do better at not letting it get out of hand.”

“Really?” He could hear the relief in her voice.

“Promise. Cross my heart.” He made a motion over his heart with his hand. She gave him a half smile.

“I liked it. I wanted it. I got carried away as well. I will try to be better too.” She felt guilty for how much she had enjoyed their heated embrace.

“It’ll be okay. We’ll slow things down. Get to know each other. Take a lot of cold showers.”

He smiled to let her know he was kidding even if he was pretty sure there’d be more than a few cold showers in his future. He had no illusions as to how difficult it was going to be to keep things tame between them. She had been sensuous and seductive in his arms and he had enjoyed her response as he touched her voluptuous body. But thinking about the consequences of going too far sobered him up quickly. He wasn’t ready for a telepathic invasion anytime soon.

She smiled gratefully in return. When she smiled, her whole face lit up. He wanted to be the reason for that smile as often as possible. That smile made all the future sexual frustrations worth it. He’d fallen quick and hard for this mysterious, possibly dangerous woman before him.

“Come on. Let’s get back.”

He put his arms around her one more and kissed her on the forehead. She curled herself up against him.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“Don’t thank me. I ought to thank you for taking a chance on a grumpy old doctor who makes you cry every time you’re with him.”

“Oh stop. I did not cry at the clinic. And you are not old. I am probably older than you.” Her playfulness was returning. They broke apart and she grabbed her gloves from the bench she had tossed them on.

“I’m 34.”

“Me too. So no old-age jokes.” She slipped her hands back in the gloves one at a time.

“I noticed you didn’t dispute me being grumpy.”

“Yes. Because you are grumpy. And you know what?”

“What?”

“I like that about you.” She leaned her head against his shoulder briefly as they resumed walking again, her gloved hand in his.

“What weird taste you have in men.”

“There is no accounting for taste.”

“Much to my benefit.”

“A little bit to mine as well.”

The banter continued all the way back to cadet housing. McCoy found himself again in front of Sabine Latour’s dorm. And yet again, he was reluctant to let the night end. So was she.

“I had a great time tonight. An amazing time,” she said to him as they faced each other once more.

“I knew I shoulda been a jerk. Now I’ve set the bar too high.”

“Who said you were not a jerk,” she giggled, punching him lightly on the shoulder. He grabbed her hand and held it in his, stroking it gently.

“We will do this again?” She sounded so hopeful as though there were any doubt that he wouldn’t drop everything to spend more time with her again.

“You better believe it. You’ll get tired of seein’ me. Shoulda never answered that comm.”

“Best decision I made this year.” She pulled her hand away from his. “I want to show you how we say goodbye where I am from.” She smiled at him. “It is also how we greet one another.”

“I’m listening.”

“Okay. Just stand there. Don’t flinch,” she warned him. He had already trusted her once tonight and that had turned out well so he did exactly as she told him. She placed her hands on his shoulders and, on her tiptoes, reached up to the side of his face with her own and kissed the air next to his cheek. She then repeated the same gesture on the other side of his face. He felt her cheeks brush against his but otherwise, there was no contact.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“We call it giving bisous. Depending on where in the country one is from, you may give three or five, or, in my town, just the two.”

“And it’s just air kisses on each side of the face?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“I like it. But I would probably like anything you did to me right now.”

“Me too. Which is why I am going to go inside now. Thank you for a wonderful evening.” She took his right hand in both of her gloved hands.

“Thank you, darlin’. And I meant everything I said tonight. We’ll take this as slowly as you want.”

“Okay. Have a good night. Sleep well.” She kissed him on the cheek and released his hand.

“You too. I’ll comm you tomorrow.”

“Mmmm. See you soon!” She waved to him as she opened the door to her building.

“Night.”

He watched her walk into the building and then walked to his own dorm, elated by how well the date had gone. They could talk to each other like they were old friends. The conversation never lagged awkwardly and even when things had taken a depressing turn, they had pulled out of it. He had never met a woman like Sabine Latour before. She was worth whatever amount of waiting he would have to do. Leonard McCoy was pretty sure he was the luckiest man in the galaxy as he settled into bed that night.


	8. Chapter 8

Sabine had a rare dreamless night of sleep and awoke feeling a contentment she had not experienced since her teens. As she stretched in her bed, she thought back to the events of the night before and felt a warmth inside her chest. Leo McCoy wanted her. He was handsome and funny, kind and intelligent, and he wanted to be with her. And he was willing to wait till she was ready. What had she done to deserve this? And how would she tell him about who she was and where she came from? The good feelings inside her faded as she thought about how to handle the questions she knew he would ask. She had been surprised last night when he hadn’t questioned her about how her parents died. Surprised and relieved. But she knew that was a temporary reprieve. He would want to know more about her past and most likely sooner rather than later.

She reached for her communicator, flipped it open and commed Adjoa.

“Yes?”

“C’est moi. Want to come over? Or we can grab coffee in the cafeteria.”

“I already have coffee. Je serais là dans quelques minutes.”

“À plus!”

They ended the comm and Sabine got out of bed, making it, and unlocking the door just in time for Adjoa to knock.

“C’est ouverte.”

“Eh, good morning chou-chou.” Adjoa set two cups of coffee down on Sabine’s desk and they gave each other bisous. They then grabbed their cups and sat next to each other on the bed, legs tucked up under them. Adjoa looked Sabine over.

“T’as l'air heureux, hein?”

“Ah, oui?”

“Oui, you are glowing. La nuit dernière a dû être un succès.”

“Eh ben, it was! I want to tell you all about it.”

“Dis-moi tout!”

Sabine recounted the date to Adjoa and the two poured over the details. They discussed strategies for dealing with questions and reveled in the fun of a new love interest. Adjoa had been hoping Sabine would find someone here; she knew her friend needed something or someone more than what their group had been able to provide for her. It was time for Sabine to begin the recovery process that most of them had started a couple of years ago. Adjoa felt that her friend had been stunted in her efforts to deal with the incredible changes they’d all undergone…and she had never properly mourned for what had been brutally taken from her before.

The two women left Sabine’s dorm room to meet their friends for lunch. Every Saturday that their schedules allowed, the women of the Resurrection IV crew would get together for a group lunch. It was a chance for them to catch up with one another and work through any issues they’d had in the past few weeks. The women needed these regular meetings to reinforce the adjustment process. It was assumed the men also got together on Saturdays but their ideas of helping each other seemed to involve a lot of combat practice or drinks at the bar. Not that the women didn’t also enjoy a few libations with lunch. After small talk, and a lot of good-natured ribbing towards Sabine for her “hot date,” the conversation turned towards the important issues.

“Here my problem – Starfleet is peace group or military group?” Taty asked the question that they were all wrestling with in one way or another.

“There is outward face of Starfleet,” Jinjing responded thoughtfully. “To the world – galaxy – Starfleet claim to be exploratory, peaceful organisation….but then, Section 31.”

“Section 31 is definitely a military organization,” Maria opined. No one disagreed with her.

“They are better than what we dealed with before,” Mía pointed out.

“Dealt, not dealed,” Maria interjected quietly.

“Are they? I do not trust them at all,” Sabine countered.

“Have they harmed any of us?” Adjoa challenged her best friend.

“Well, no…”

“And they let us live lives here without much trouble – even help us adjust to change,” Jinjing added. “The Peacekeepers would not allow this.”

“Is true,” Taty chimed in.

“Maybe so…but they make me uncomfortable.”

“Everything makes you uncomfortable, Sabs,” Mía noted, not incorrectly. Sabine had always been the worrier of the group.

“That tendency towards caution has saved each of our lives multiple times,” Adjoa reminded everyone calmly. Adjoa would challenge her best friend but she also had her back.

“Also true,” Taty agreed.

“They follow us without our permission. And their questions are invasive. It makes me uneasy,” Sabine said quietly. The other girls shifted uncomfortably as they all pondered the intrusive nature of Section 31 in their lives.

“Here’s what I really don’t get. How does this society claim to be so advanced when there are still so few women or minorities in positions of power?” Maria shifted the topic.

“This again?” Jinjing rolled her eyes.

“What? How can you not see the hypocrisy in all this?” Maria brought this up almost every meeting. The group was divided on whether they agreed with her.

“This place is better than we have the right to hope for,” Adjoa fell into the pro-23rd century camp. “We know what happened to this world in our time. We are lucky to have ended up in a world as good as this.”

“All the same,” Mía replied, “we can point out problems, yes?”

“Why be not happy?” Taty was also pro-23rd century.

“No one is saying we are not happy. But I agree that we can still be critical of this time, just as we were of our own time,” Sabine saw both sides of the argument but tended to side more with the group who was critical of their new society.

“This time is much different than our own. They are content. They have peace. They made contact with other worlds. How can you not see the difference?” Adjoa once again took a stance against Sabine. This was a familiar argument and neither friend took it too personally.

“Yes, it is different. But does that mean we should question nothing?” Sabine pushed back against Adjoa and the pro-23rd century crew.

“Always more, more, more. Never happy, you.” Taty was getting bored with this argument.

“Why should we settle? Even a good society like this can be better. I just think they spend a lot of time patting themselves on the back when there’s a lot more they could be doing.” Maria cut back in.

“Why are there not more women captains? Women admirals?” Sabine backed Maria up.

“Everyone knows the Tellarites do not like working with female leaders,” Adjoa responded.

“Why is the entire Federation catering to one member species?” Maria quickly shot back.

“Two hundred years is not so much time for things to change,” Jinjing began, supporting Adjoa. “You want to see whole new society with women and minorities as equals but this has never been way of man.”

“Yes, but this is a new society. Or they claim they are. They want to claim they are so much better than what we knew –“ Mía was animated now.

“But they are better than what we knew!” Adjoa interrupted.

“Are they really? Yes, they do not use nuclear weapons on each other. But the weapons they have now are far more deadly than we could have imagined.” Sabine waded back into the debate.

“Maybe so, but they do not use them. We left war. We left a world in decline. Look at where we are now!” Adjoa felt very passionately that they had been blessed to end up in this time period and she disliked what she saw as ingratitude on behalf of some of her crewmates.

“I understand this place is better than where – when – we came from. I don’t think anyone is seriously arguing that this time is anything like the time we left," Maria shot Sabine a warning glance as she spoke. “I just think that some of us are understandably wary. This goes back to what Taty asked – are we joining a peacekeeping organisation – a _real_ one – or are we joining a military organisation?”

“We could be dead. Or slaves. Instead you are complain about this.” Jinjing was also getting bored with the stand-off.

“Are complaining,” Maria softly corrected again.

“No one like smarty-panties,” Taty retorted.

“Sorry – just trying to help,” Maria responded abashedly. Sabine hid her giggle over ‘smarty-panties’ and saw Adjoa doing the same.

“I do not mind,” Jinjing replied.

“Mmm, we never fully agree on this. Maybe we should enjoy what we have here while also trying to make this society better?” When she wasn’t carried away with her own arguments, Sabine often sought to bring the two sides to compromise.

“This why we join Starfleet, yah? To make better world?” Taty was ready to reconcile with her friends.

“Yes, that’s why. And it’s good we all have our differing opinions. We’ve always been at our best when we listen to each other and act together.” Maria was offering her own olive branch for now.

“What are the possibilities that we can all serve together after graduation?” Mía asked wistfully.

“What? All that time in tin-can Resurrection not enough? I spend enough time with all you for good,” Taty muttered and the women laughed, recalling just how cramped the space station had been.

The group started discussing their futures after the Academy and the conversation meandered from there until the women eventually disbanded to go about their respective Saturday errands.

Sabine loved her group of twelve more than she could express. These five other women and the six men they had served with on Resurrection IV were the only family she had left. And that was what they thought of each other as – family. They shared a common background that no one else around them would ever really understand. And they had known each other since their early teens. They knew that if push came to shove, they would defend one another to death; they’d been able to test that loyalty on more than one occasion. When Sabine found herself worrying about how she would handle letting new people into her life or how to evade questions about her past, she took comfort in knowing that there were eleven others going through the same issues. They squabbled with one another, made fun of each other, but underneath it all, they were as dedicated to one another as any group could be. Sabine wondered what it would be like to introduce someone like McCoy into such a tight-knit clan. But rather than worry over that, she decided her biggest concern was how in the world she was going to answer his inevitable questions.


	9. Chapter 9

“It’s been brought to our attention that you all were discussing your time versus the current time at a public restaurant this past Saturday. You know you can’t do that, right?” Agent Cassidy Pike looked at the women sitting before her with a mix of disapproval and exasperation.

“Who, exactly, brought it to your attention? Is that just a way of saying you followed us?” Adjoa shot back, leading the group charge against their handler.

“We had a private room,” Maria added. “We should’ve been able to say what we wanted without being overheard.”

“And yet you were,” Agent Pike responded. “Look ladies, you know I hate dealing with this kind of thing as much as you do. But you have to be more careful. We have a deal, remember?”

“That deal did not include being followed without our consent,” Sabine retorted.

“Actually, it did. Each of you agreed to follow our rules and to be monitored –”

“’Monitored’ means checking in with you weekly. It doesn’t mean being followed everywhere.” The women murmured in agreement with Maria’s interpretation.

“’Monitor’ means whatever Section 31 determines is best for your continued anonymity. Maybe we won’t follow you if you’ll stop having conversations about classified information in public places.” Cass rubbed her forehead in frustration. “Come on, guys. You know I want you all to succeed. I don’t like the tracking any more than you do. Help me get everyone to a place where the Section will lighten up on you. Please.”

Cass Pike was the niece of Captain Christopher Pike and a member of Section 31. Her father was Chris Pike’s brother. He married a Betazoid woman, and they subsequently had two part-Betazoid daughters. One daughter – Aubrey – chose to use her unique skills on the black market; she was wanted in at least 10 interplanetary jurisdictions for theft and abuse of telepathic skills, among other crimes. Their second daughter, Cassidy, followed the family tradition of working in some capacity for the Federation. Because of her unusual strength as a telepath, she had been courted by Section 31 as a young teenager and had given most of her life to the secret organisation. In moments of clarity, usually found at the bottom of several bottles of alcohol, Cass could admit to herself that Section 31 shouldn’t have interfered with her life at such a young age. If she drank enough, she’d even admit to despising some of the things she had done for the agency. But she was here now and there wasn’t really a way out at this point.

As a half-Betazoid, Cass had been chosen for this assignment primarily as a resource to help Sabine master her abilities. But she was also a good choice because she was close in age to most of the Resurrection IV crew members and, on a normal day, got along well with them. Unfortunately, normal days didn’t happen very often anymore. Cass, like her subjects, maintained the outward persona of a cadet in the Academy, in the same class as the crewmates. While she might agree with their complaints about the trackers, she had a duty to fulfill to Section 31. Her bottom line was making sure none of them blew their cover and it really was a hell of a task, if anyone cared to ask her. Not that anyone ever did.

The biggest problem lay in the fact that Cass Pike was no angel herself. She had immediately become good friends with one Jim Kirk upon arriving at the Academy and the two of them were constantly on the cusp of being expelled, despite stellar grades. While Cass had chosen a different path from that of her sister, she created shenanigans of her own, though none had risen quite to the level of intergalactic criminality yet. Cass loved her Uncle Chris like he was her own father, but she wasn’t above adding some additional gray hairs to his temples and he wasn’t afraid to let her hang herself with her own rope, as he was fond of reminding her every time he had to pull her into his office for another round of “What the hell are you doing?” lectures. Being a cadet allowed Cass to enjoy her own freedom to create mayhem for one of the first times in her life, so she understood precisely how frustrating it had to be for the Resurrection IV crew when they were told they couldn’t speak freely with one another or they had to conceal parts of their identities. But as someone who had also been concealing large parts of her life for most of her life, Cass’s sympathy only went so far. And even if she were sympathetic to the group of twelve, she knew she had to toe the line when it came to Section 31 and their lack of understanding for what it was like to live in a society without permission to fully be a part of it. And so, here she was, facing six very disgruntled women. Using her mental abilities, she could see their anger, fear, and mistrust radiating from each woman in colorful bands.

“You want us to help you by what? Not talking to one another? Section 31 recommended we hold these meetings. How are we all supposed to talk to one another but not about the one thing we want to talk about?” Sabine liked Cass and was grateful to the other woman for all she had shown her, but her frustrations with Section 31 had grown over time and she wasn’t afraid to take it out on Agent Pike.

“When we recommended meeting, we specifically told all of you to be discreet about it. Going out to a restaurant right next to the Academy is not our idea of discreet. Why can’t you just meet in each other’s dorms?”

“Come on, Cass. You live in the dorms. How are six of us gonna fit in one room? And how is that more discreet than going off-campus? Those dorm walls are paper-thin.” Maria had a point and she knew it. So did Cass.

“Ugh, guys, I don’t know. All I know is you got busted this time. Please, PLEASE, be more careful in the future.” Cass frowned as she racked her brain to come up with a solution for the crew.

“You know, when I want to be alone to do whatever, I usually grab one of the empty classrooms in the engineering building. The walls are thick there and no one really questions groups coming in and out of the building at all hours.” Cass spoke from experience; she and Jim had met various other cadets in the engineering building many times to plan out assorted hi-jinks. And she didn’t mind sharing useful information with the crew. It seemed like the least she could do.

“You want we pickernic in classroom?” Taty asked with a fair amount of attitude.

“Yes. Picnic in one of the engineering rooms. Hell, you guys aren’t meeting for the food anyway. And you can sneak booze into the building so what’s the hang-up?”

The women grumbled amongst themselves but Adjoa spoke up for the group.

“It is an idea. We will consider it for next time.”

“Thank you, ladies. That’s all I ask – just be careful and don’t get busted, okay?”

“Why the men no get bust?” Taty asked.

“Because they didn’t get overheard breaking the rules like you all did,” Cass answered, ready to be done with this meeting. She knew for a fact Jim was already at O’Shae’s waiting for her because he kept sending messages to her PADD. Cass was more interested in whatever hare-brained scheme he was concocting than she was in scolding the women of the Resurrection crew.

“That’s bullshit. I definitely hear Jayesh and Seiji make jokes and comments about our time to each other all the time,” Maria complained. Several of the women voiced their agreement.

“Well, if that’s the case, they’re lucky they haven’t done it while being tracked.” Cass’s response drew out another round of grumbling from the women.

“Alright, guys. That’s all I have for today. Sorry to be a bummer. Let’s try for a more positive meeting next week, okay?”

The women got up and gathered their things. They met with Cass once a week in Section 31’s San Francisco headquarters, on the opposite side of town from the Academy. Getting to the building was always a pain and the meetings had begun to be nothing more than bitch sessions for both sides. Sometimes, she only met with the men or the women or certain members of the group, based on whatever information Section 31 gave her. Cass knew if she didn’t get things under control soon, she’d either be pulled from the assignment or worse. She didn’t want to think about it too much.

“Hey, Sabs, can I talk with you a second?” Cass needed to meet with her fellow telepath and check in on her progress before she could be truly done for the day.

“Yes,” Sabine said to her before turning to the departing group. “I will see you all later.” She was accustomed to staying after.

Once they were alone, Cass turned her full attention to the other woman.

“So, how’s it going with the exercises?”

“Not so bad. I think I made some progress this week,” Sabine answered. She really was fond of Cass and the feelings were mutual. It was a shame the two women found themselves at odds so often because they were otherwise close friends.

“Good! And the dreams? Nightmares?”

“Still an issue. I have been documenting everything like Dr. Fisher asked,” Sabine responded, more at ease now that she wasn’t being accused of breaking the rules.

“When you say they’re still an issue, I’m assuming that means you’re still redecorating in your sleep?”

“Yes,” Sabine sighed. “But I did have a breakthrough – I woke up and managed to bring everything down without damage.”

“Excellent! When was this?”

“Mmmm, several times now. I think the first time I did it was a week ago?”

“This is real progress! I’m so happy for you!” Cass reached over and gave Sabine a hug. She knew Sabine didn’t like being touched but she also knew she could get away with it because they had a special connection. Sabine hugged her back.

“So, anything else happening that I should know about?” Cass pulled away from Sabine to get a good look at her face. She hoped Sabine would just tell her so she wouldn’t have to admit that the other piece of information she’d been given by the lunch meeting trackers related to Sabine’s love life.

“If I tell you, will you be surprised or are you just asking me as a courtesy?” Sabine smiled at Cass but her eyes were shrewd.

Cass sighed. “You know what the answer is.”

“I know. How do you deal with it? It bothers you, yes?”

The nature of their relationship meant that Cass was more open with Sabine than the other members of the crew. Still, she had barriers to maintain.

“You know it bothers me but I can’t do anything about it if you guys won’t work with me.”

“I do what I can to defend and support you but I cannot support the tracking. It reminds me of something the Peacekeepers would do.”

“I know,” Cass said defeatedly. “I don’t like it either. But please, promise me you’ll be more careful – you and everyone else. I really want this to be a success.”

“We will do our best. We try, Cass. You know we do.”

“I know. And I’m trying on my end too. I’m not even going to tell you to be careful with this guy. You’re aware of what to do. I hope he deserves you!”

“I really like him, Cass. He is a good one.”

“Good. You shouldn’t settle for anything less. I wanna hear all about him next time but for now, let’s get outta here. I’ve got some shit to stir up.” Cass linked her arm through Sabine’s and the two women walked out of the office together, parting ways just before exiting the building.

Cass liked forcing contact on Sabine because she knew the other telepath needed it; she needed to overcome her fears, accept her abilities, and she especially needed some good old human affection. All of the twelve needed affection. Choosing Cass to be Sabine’s handler (and, consequently, the group handler) was no random selection. Her superiors knew Cass had just the right personality to manage the other telepath and her friends. And they knew that once Cass helped Sabine control her powers, they would have access to a telepath stronger than any they had yet found. Cass knew there were higher-ups eyeing Sabine for her powers and, in a rare instance of asking her uncle for a favor, she’d gone to Captain Pike for his advice on how to protect the untapped telepath.

What Cass hadn’t realized was what a dangerous wheel she had set into motion when she’d sought aid for Sabine. For every Christopher Pike, there was an Alexander Marcus. Admiral Marcus had listened to his friend’s plea to protect the terran telepath on campus from being forced into Section 31 upon graduation without saying a word of disagreement. What Marcus failed to mention to Chris Pike was that he was the one overseeing Section 31’s program of “adjustment” for the Resurrection twelve. He let Pike organize a handful of faculty to monitor Sabine from afar, ready to intervene if they felt that Section 31 overstepped its bounds. Meanwhile, Marcus had increased the number of trackers the Section was using on the twelve after conferring with main headquarters in London. He also put trackers on Cass Pike, ready to make any necessary moves should she prove unwilling to do what the Section required of her. Cass didn’t know it yet, but she had caused more harm than good for her friends when she asked for her uncle’s assistance.


	10. Chapter 10

Despite McCoy’s original concerns over cold showers and being able to keep their hands (and mouths and any other body parts) to themselves, McCoy and Sabine found their first few dates after that initial dinner to be tame. They were focused on getting to know one another and each did their best to keep date activities limited to public places.

At the beginning of their relationship, Sabine found it surprisingly easy to either tell the truth or deflect without actually lying. But a month in, she was telling lies in response to the unavoidable questions about her past. It weighed on her but she couldn’t tell Leo where she’d gone to school as a child or what city she’d grown up in. Section 31 had prepped all of them for these kinds of questions but she hated it all the same. And she was fairly certain Leo didn’t believe her; she’d never been the most convincing liar and her desire to be as honest as possible wasn’t helping.

So she did the only thing she could think of when the questions became too numerous or Leo would cock his eyebrow at her in disbelief – she threw herself at him. And just like that, the mannered atmosphere of their early dates disappeared.

It was a dangerous game to play – she had to distract him with her body but not so much that either of them would lose control. And that was how they ended up repeatedly entwined on her bed, his bed, the couch – almost anywhere, kissing one another like the world was about to end, but unwilling to see their passion to its logical end. In his typically diplomatic manner, McCoy was the first to point out the ridiculousness of their situation.

“It’s like I’m a goddamn teenager again, dry-humpin’ the hell outta ya – sorry, that was crude, huh?” His hands were tangled in her hair, and he was on top of her, the both of them breathing heavily. Their tops were laying in a heap on the floor and her bra was not long for this world if McCoy had his way about it.

“Maybe a little crude but very accurate,” she responded, kissing the tip of his nose. “Not that I am complaining…”

“Oh no? Because I am. Don’t get me wrong – I love this – love being so close to you – but I can’t help it. I want more.” With that, he trailed his mouth down her neck and into her cleavage, his hands on both breasts.

“I know,” she sighed. And she did because she wanted more too. She wanted to bring him to climax, wanted him to do the same for her. And the worst part was the knowledge that she was using this limited form of sexual power as a distraction from her lies. She didn’t feel good about deceiving McCoy but she did have an idea of how she could give him at least one thing he wanted. Sabine tugged on McCoy’s hair and he pulled his head up. She kissed him deeply and rolled out from under him so that she was now on top.

“Mmm, there is a way we could make this better – or at least, I can make you a little more satisfied.” She grinned wickedly.

“You have my complete attention,” he replied, looking up at her as she sat up, straddling him.

“I should not orgasm but there is nothing wrong with you enjoying yourself – fully.” She stroked his already-stiff member as she spoke.

“Darlin’, I never thought I’d see the day that I’d turn down a blow job or a hand job or whatever you have in mind –”

“That covers what I am thinking of,” she interrupted. He grabbed her hand away from his cock and she shifted her body so that she was now able to rub herself against him.

“Okay, fine. But I don’t feel right about getting mine without you getting yours.”

“I do not think you should worry about me. I am… ‘getting mine’ – you are just not here when it happens.” She softly rocked against him, provoking a groan of satisfaction from him.

“Yeah, see, that’s the thing. I wanna be here for it. Wanna be the cause,” he grasped her hips and pulled her against him as he was speaking, to illustrate his point.

“You are always the cause. And if you want to be here – to watch – we can do that. I may feel a little awkward at first but I will learn to fight through.” Sabine bent down and kissed McCoy and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her flat against him. After a few moments, they pulled apart and Sabine sat up again, her hands tracing patterns on his chest.

“Well, now you’re talkin’. And what if I help you get there – just up to the point when you think you’re gettin’ close. Is that possible?” He cupped her breast in his hand and rubbed her nipple through the sheer lace of her bra. Sabine gasped in pleasure before responding.

“I…suppose so. We will need to be careful…”

“I’ll be very careful,” he murmured, his hands wandering all over her. He rose to meet her lips with his own. “Very careful,” he repeated through lazy, languid kisses. Her bra joined the pile of clothes on the floor.

“Mmm…,” was all she could say.


	11. Chapter 11

Every so often, Cass would get together for an informal dinner with Uncle Chris. In the interest of discretion, they always chose a restaurant away from campus. While neither of them exactly hid Cassidy’s relation to Captain Pike, they didn’t want to advertise it either. For tonight’s dinner, they’d chosen a tiny Italian restaurant not far from the Section 31 office. They were enjoying their meal, as it had been some time since Cass had gotten in trouble for anything, when Cass noticed a couple of familiar faces walk through the door of the restaurant and get seated.

“Holy shit,” she murmured, interrupting her uncle’s story about two cadets who had stolen several phasers and rigged them to stun only the legs of their victims, rendering their friends temporarily paralyzed in an escalating series of pranks among the engineering cadets.

“I beg your pardon,” Christopher Pike responded, turning his head to see what had his niece’s undivided attention. He noticed two Starfleet cadets at a table across the restaurant, one of whom was the terran telepath Cass had asked him to help protect. He knew the other cadet well. Leonard McCoy looked a lot better in that restaurant than he had that day a couple of years ago in Iowa when he’d staggered half-drunk onto Pike’s recruiting shuttle. Captain Pike had his eye on McCoy for part of the senior medical team aboard the Enterprise once he graduated. He looked back at his niece and saw that her normally blue pupils had dilated and gone black.

“Really, Cass? Isn’t it rude to dip out of a conversation that isn’t finished just to start another?” Captain Pike had seen this behavior before.

“Sorry. This is work-related though,” she responded, looking at him with unseeing eyes. He always found it a bit unnerving when she’d start using telepathy around him and she knew it because, like all Betazoids, she fed on the emotions of those around her.

“I know you don’t like it when I do this…but I’m not just goofing off, I promise,” she continued. “Now finish telling me about the prank war in the engineering department.”

He didn’t understand how Cass could hold two conversations at one time, but he’d seen her do it enough to know she could. While he wondered what could be so significant about the cadets across the room from them, he also trusted his niece enough to believe that if she said it was important, it must be. So he sighed and continued his story.


	12. Chapter 12

Sabine and McCoy didn’t see the Pikes when they entered the restaurant. They would’ve likely noticed the Pike relatives at some point because it was a small place and even with their tables on opposite ends of the room, they were still only separated by fifteen meters at the most. However, they had no idea they were in the same restaurant until Sabine heard a familiar voice in her head.

_Wait. When you told me you were dating a doctor in the medical program, I didn’t know you meant Bones._

“Bones?” Sabine asked aloud, forgetting to switch to her telepathic voice. McCoy jerked his head up from his menu at that.

“What the… How’d you hear about that?” McCoy noticed that Sabine’s eyes had taken on a glazed appearance. The pupils weren’t dilated, but even though she was looking at him, it almost felt as though she was looking through him. It was unsettling, to say the least.

“Is that your nickname?” she asked her boyfriend. “I’ve never heard you referred to as Bones before.”

_That’s what Jim and I call him._

You know Jim Kirk? And Leo?

_Yeah, I’ve been friends with Jim since we started classes last year. We go out together all the time. And Bones is usually there too._

“Now how the hell did you find out about that stupid nickname? And what’s going on with your eyes?” McCoy examined Sabine and then looked around the restaurant. His back was to the Pikes so he didn’t seem them initially.

“I found out because Cass Pike just referred to you as Bones. She’s here – behind you.”

McCoy turned in his seat and saw Cass and Captain Pike, whose back was to him. Cass raised her hand in a casual wave but he could see that her eyes were black and her expression was similarly empty yet intense.

“Wait – are you two talking right now? I thought you had to touch someone to communicate with them telepathically?” he asked as he spun back around to Sabine.

“I do, but she does not,” she said simply, that same vacant yet piercing look in her eyes.

“How do you even know each other?” McCoy was very confused to see two unrelated parts of his life interacting. He’d hung out with Cass on a number of occasions when he and Jim would go out to the bars. He knew Cass and Jim raised hell all over campus and his official stance had always been that as long as they didn’t involve him in their antics, he didn’t care what they did. He liked Cass – she was fun, the life of the party, but he wasn’t at all sure how he felt about the fact that Cass and Sabine knew each other well enough to start talking telepathically in a public place. He was trying to remember just how many embarrassing stories Cass might have about their drunken escapades and it was enough that he wished they weren’t having a conversation he wasn’t privy to. Sabine had never demonstrated her abilities to him before and he was surprised to see her doing so in a restaurant when she was normally so reserved. For not the first time, McCoy was coming to understand there was much more to his girlfriend than she let on.

“We are in the same class, Leo. We went through orientation together. And she is a fellow telepath so it was only a matter of time till she and I got to know one another,” Sabine said, as though it was the most obvious answer in the world.

_Careful. Don’t mention anything about Section 31 to him._

I am not stupid. You heard me. I am not going to blow my cover. Give me some credit.

_Sorry. This is just weird, the idea that you’re dating Bones – Len._

You call him Len?

_Well, I guess. Really, I just call him Bones because it drives him nuts._

Mmmm, interesting.

_Not nearly as interesting as this whole thing is to me. Does Jim know about this?_

I do not know. Not sure Leo has said anything to him yet.

_I’m betting good credits he hasn’t. Man, Jim is gonna flip when he finds out._

No! You cannot tell Jim if Leo has not told him first. You are as bad as everyone else. Why are you people so wound up about me dating?

_Because it’s been so long, everyone thought your vagina had become hermetically sealed._

Sabine almost laughed out loud at that one and she had to refocus on the conversation McCoy was carrying with her simultaneously.

“So, you’re tellin’ me Cass is one of the Betazoids you’ve been talking about – the ones helping you with your abilities.” McCoy was trying to wrap his head around what was happening. On the one hand, he was pleased that Sabine felt comfortable enough around him to do….whatever it was she was doing. But on the much larger hand, he was still pretty creeped out by the vacancy in her eyes.

“Yes, exactly. Cass is one of several telepaths I have sought out for help,” Sabine answered. She then made that familiar twist of her mouth, which struck McCoy as positively disturbing when combined with her dead eyes. He was pretty sure the half-smile had nothing to do with what he and Sabine were discussing and he was increasingly disquieted by the fact that there was a whole conversation he was missing out on.

_He thinks this is freaky, by the way. He’s a little sketched out by the look on your face right now. Why does that always bother people?_

Because it is uncanny. And please, do not tell me what he is feeling and thinking. You know I do not like that.

_You’re a telepath! It’s literally what we do._

I do not want to use my telepathy to read what Leo is thinking right now and I am sure he would not want you telling me. Stay out of his head.

_Such a spoilsport. So tell me, what’s he like in bed? I’ve always imagined he would be an animal – the repressed ones always are._

Mon Dieu, we are not talking about this right now. It is none of your business.

_That wild, huh? I’ll bet he’s hung like a –_

Putain! You say one more word and I will tell him EVERYTHING about Section 31!

Sabine was blushing furiously and McCoy didn’t understand why. Then it hit him.

“What’s she saying that’s got you all red? How is it…even possible…to carry on multiple conversations at the same time?” McCoy knew Cass could sense emotions and she had never been shy about very colorfully alerting him to when she sensed that he was upset or ill at ease. He rightly suspected that Cass enjoyed making him uncomfortable from time to time. He could only imagine what she was saying in the uncensored space of telepathic communication. What he couldn’t imagine was how a person could hold two conversations at the same time. The thought of it gave him a headache.

“I do not know how to explain it. All I can say is that it is very possible. It is almost like dividing yourself into two people. Enhanced multitasking, perhaps?”

_Oooh, that’s a good way to explain it. I’m gonna borrow that the next time someone asks. Much better than my analogy to feeling like you’re on Andorian cocaine._

Tiens, this has been amusing but may I return to dinner alone with the man I am dating?

_Oh yeah, sure. Sorry to interrupt. But we’re definitely gonna discuss what he’s like in the sack next time we meet._

Ferme ta geule!

_Don’t curse at me in French. You know I only understand it because I’m in your head._

Mmm, then how about this: Fuckity bye.

And at that, Sabine shut down the connection between herself and Cass, forcing the other woman out of her head. For her part, Cass was ruing the day that she’d taught Sabine and the other crewmates how to properly curse in Standard. Sabine’s eyes instantly focused once more and settled on McCoy’s. He noticed she was still blushing.

“Hi again,” she said warmly to him. “So sorry about that. It was very rude of us.”

“I can only imagine what she said to get you blushing like that,” McCoy responded, relatively unruffled now that his date had returned to him. “That girl has quite a mouth on her.”

“In-fucking-deed,” responded Sabine sweetly, provoking a laugh from her dinner companion.

McCoy took a second to gather his thoughts on what he had just witnessed.

“I have so many questions,” he finally replied.

“I bet you do. Go ahead. I will answer as many as I can.”


	13. Chapter 13

“So, let me get this straight – it’s not quite the same when communicating telepathically via touch?” McCoy and Sabine had spent the entire dinner talking about telepathy and were still talking about it as they entered McCoy’s empty apartment.

“Correct. When Betazoids use telepathy, it is perhaps more invasive. When a touch telepath like myself does it, you do not have the glassy eyes and thousand-yard stare.”

“But it doesn’t hurt you doing it the other way?”

“No, not usually. If a telepath stronger than me tried to enter my mind either by touch or “reaching out,” it would hurt. I had to be very careful when I started working with other telepaths so that I would not hurt them.”

“And “reaching out” is the Betazoid version of telepathy?”

“Mmm, that is what Cass calls it. Telepathy without touching. She likens it to a mental hug,” Sabine replied thoughtfully.

The two had shed their coats and sat down together on the couch in the main room. McCoy turned to Sabine.

“I think I’ve run out of questions.”

“Really?” Sabine had enjoyed fielding his questions throughout the evening. This was one topic she didn’t have to lie about. She could tell him as much as he wanted to know about telepathy.

“Yeah, really. Thanks for being so open with me.”

“My pleasure.”

“Speaking of pleasure…” McCoy pulled Sabine close to him and she lifted her face to meet his. He brushed his lips against hers and she could feel his breath on her face, could smell him – a perfect musk of manliness with a touch of antiseptic that never seemed to leave no matter how many sonic showers they took after clinical shifts. She loved his smell and inhaled deeply as his mouth moved slowly across her cheek, to her earlobe, which he nibbled softly.

“Mmm, not wasting any time, are you?”

They’d both been waiting for this night eagerly. Their initial attempt at pushing the boundaries of their non-sex life had been cut short by a sudden comm from the clinic requesting additional doctors to deal with an engineering crisis. This was the first time their schedules had allowed them to get together for more than a clinic shift since that day. McCoy had verified that Jim would be gone and he’d have the apartment to himself. He was ready to find out just how far Sabine would let him go.

The logistics of what McCoy and Sabine had agreed to in bed were not without hic-ups. For one, Sabine did not want to remove her gloves, which made hand-jobs somewhat challenging for her. McCoy had gotten used to the feel of her gloves – they felt eerily like skin, so he didn’t mind if she stayed gloved (if he was honest with himself, he preferred it until he knew she had better control of her telepathy). But for her, they were a barrier and she could feel them between her hands and whatever she wanted to touch. So a hand job seemed awkward. She didn’t mind because she preferred giving blow-jobs – at least that’s what she told McCoy and he wasn’t sure if she was being less than honest or not.

Her honesty, or lack thereof, was something constantly in the back of his mind. Sabine had been correct to suspect that McCoy was on to her lies. He was pretty sure she had lied to him about certain things. He even surmised that she was using her body as a ploy to distract him when she didn’t want to answer specific questions. What confounded him most was that despite his misgivings regarding her abilities to be truthful, he still had deep feelings for her. He’d come to accept that there were particular things she lied about. There didn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason to it, though the suspected lies mainly concerned her life before the Academy.  At the same time, she seemed to be truthful about other parts of her past – he didn’t understand what triggered the need to lie. McCoy had never been so frustrated and aroused by a woman before. Jocelyn was an open book till she cheated on him. Sabine? She was closed-off from the start and he didn’t seem capable of mustering enough ability to care. In his more rational moments, he was angry with himself for not calling her out on the deceits, but he didn’t have proof other that a hunch that she was lying. It was a correct hunch but he didn’t know that for sure. How was he supposed to tell the woman he’d fallen for that he thought she was a liar?

McCoy didn’t have a good answer and, as he picked her up off the couch to take her to his bedroom, already half-hard with the anticipation of what lay ahead, he didn’t much care if an answer ever came.

He set Sabine down gently on his bed and she propped herself up on her elbows, looking at him with the same mix of excitement and expectancy that he felt. McCoy quickly removed his shirt and knelt down on the bed, between her legs. He took her face in his hands and she wrapped her arms around him, bringing herself onto her knees and pressing herself against him. Their lips met and his tongue sought hers. He moved his hands to her back, grabbing her shirt and pulling it over her head, tossing it to the floor and then gently guided her back down to the mattress, kissing her fervently. Her breasts rubbed against his chest as she moved against him. McCoy set about removing her bra, taking a moment to suck on her shoulder while his fingers undid the hooks and Sabine moaned in response. After her bra came off, he enjoyed feeling her taut breasts against him. He pulled away just slightly to brush her hair away from her face and Sabine ran her hands slowly up and down his chest, wishing for what felt like the millionth time that she could remove her gloves and actually feel his skin under her fingers. McCoy buried his face in her neck and sucked hard, drawing another moan from her.

“You like that, huh? How about this?” he whispered, taking one of her newly freed breasts in his hand and gently squeezing it, then thumbing her nipple as it grew pebbled and erect. While using his hand on that breast, he took the other one in his mouth, nipping and sucking.

Her response was more sighs and sounds of enjoyment as she arched her back and lifted her hips to press herself against his hardening cock.

“Leo, oh my God, Leo,” she gasped in delight.

“I’m not your god, darlin’,” he murmured between sucking one breast and then the other. “Just the man who’s gonna make you see God.”

She wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling them closer to one another. Her left hand was on his pants, rubbing his cock masterfully while her right hand gripped his back.

“I want to take you in my mouth,” she whispered in his ear and he almost lost it altogether. “I want to make you come and I want to taste it.”

“No one’s stopping you,” he gasped.  His own hands had wandered down to the waistline of her pants and he tugged impatiently, wanting to feel her naked body beneath his. Sabine batted his hands away.

“Not yet. You first,” she teased.

She undid his pants clasp and pulled them down, as impatient to feel his naked body on top of hers as he was to feel hers beneath him. She loved feeling his weight on her but she wriggled out from under him as she pulled his pants down his thighs. She straddled him, not worrying about getting his pants all the way off, so intent was she on sucking his cock. She quickly pushed his boxer briefs down his thighs as well, taking care to be gentle when freeing his very erect penis in the process.

McCoy loved seeing her half-naked, on top of him. She smiled shyly at him and then laid flat against him, meeting his mouth with her own while continuing to stroke him with her left hand. He grabbed her ass with a hand on each cheek and pulled her closer to him, groaning at how good she felt against him. He would have fucked her right then and there if it were possible.

“Patience, Doctor,” she murmured, feeling his mounting restlessness, and trailing her mouth down his throat to his chest. She licked his nipples and continued a languid trail down lower and lower, to where her hand had worked him to full erection.

“Mmmmm,” she hummed and he had never been more turned on by that noise, which was saying something because it had enchanted him from their first meeting. Right now, though, it set him on fire.

The head of his cock was slick with pre-cum and she licked it like it was the most delicious thing she’d ever tasted. He carded his hands through her curls, getting lost in the tangled heap. She stroked and licked his shaft from root to tip, the vibrations of her occasional humming making his cock stand taller.

Sabine took him deep in her mouth and alternatively sucked and stroked him. Her eyes met his and she winked at him, driving his ecstasy even higher. Her obvious pleasure added to his and he tugged on her hair, thrusting into her mouth. It felt so damn good. His thrusts grew deeper and more rapid and he wondered if she really wanted him to come in her mouth.

“I’m gonna come,” he barked, as he felt his balls tightening.

“Mmmmm,” was her muffled response. He came hard in her mouth and she relished it, swallowing every bit. She licked him clean after he finished and rested her head on his pelvic bone, softly panting from the exertion of sucking him so thoroughly. Her body curled up against his lower half, with one arm sprawled across his thighs and the other extended above her head, idly stroking the side of his chest with her hand. If she had faked her enjoyment, she was a better liar than he’d been led to believe.

“Darlin’, I don’t know where you learned to do that, and frankly, I don’t wanna know, but it was amazing,” he murmured, as he ran his fingers through her curls.

“It is not so scandalous, my blow-job lesson – when I was maybe fifteen, a girlfriend taught a whole group of us using a banana. I suppose it worked.” She sighed contentedly.

“Boy, did it ever.” This was an instance where McCoy believed her.

“C’mere,” he whispered, pulling her face to his own. He kissed her deeply. She pulled away, her face a mix of shock and pleasure.

“I was not expecting that,” she admitted.

“What?”

“For you to kiss me right after I…you know…”

“Don’t go gettin’ all shy on me now. You were able to say a lot worse than blow-job a few minutes ago,” he teased.

“I know. I was caught up in the mood…”

“Well, get caught up again – it’s your turn,” he growled, flipping her over so that he was now on top. She gave him a look of panic mixed with longing.

“It’s okay, right? I’ll stop when you tell me to, I promise,” he said softly, caressing her cheek.

“Stop and move away from me. No contact,” she cautioned him.

“Got it.” He looked down at her. “You sure you wanna do this?”

She nodded bravely. “Yes,” she whispered, and to allay his concerns, she kissed him sweetly. “I am ready. I promise. Just a little nervous.”

“Me too,” he replied, smiling at her. “But if you’re game, I am.”

“Mmm, yes.”

McCoy wanted to hear her make that humming sound every instant he was with her, especially as he’d come to discover she could deploy it to very effective use when she wanted. Just thinking about her skills in bed was getting him aroused again. He shifted his weight so his desire wouldn’t be quite so evident to her and kissed her on the lips before trailing his mouth down her throat.

While McCoy had lost all his clothes earlier, it was now Sabine’s turn to be completely undressed by her lover and he enjoyed the task with great enthusiasm. Every touch elicited a sigh or moan of contentment from Sabine and McCoy feared he wouldn’t be allowed to pleasure her for long given how excited she was already.

For her part, Sabine was basking in the glow of letting someone touch her so lovingly. It had been so long since she’d allowed this kind of intimacy in her life – since she’d let someone be this close to her, both physically and mentally. It was the mental, emotional connection that heightened her arousal and her only regret was that she couldn’t share more with Leo. She knew she wouldn’t last long but she was determined to savor his every touch while she could.

“Let me eat you out. I’ve been looking forward to this all night,” he murmured in her ear, once he had removed her pants and underwear. McCoy delighted in how his words made her gasp and tremble with excitement. She complied by spreading her legs and pushing his head down.

“Well, that didn’t take much convincing,” he laughed as he ducked his head away from her hands.

“Patience, Doctor,” he said, using her own words against her before licking and sucking on her stomach as he made his way down further south. Sabine contented herself by running her hands through his hair as she enjoyed his exploration of her body.

His thumb was already rubbing her clit but he stopped and stuck two fingers deep inside her as she cried out in a mix of gratification and frustration.

Sabine was so wet for him already and his skilled hands reduced her to whimpers and mewls of ecstasy. He removed his fingers and tongued her clitoris eagerly. She held his head down even though they both knew he was in no rush to stop. She thrust up to meet his eager mouth, not bothering to keep her cries quiet. He kept licking and sucking, alternating between finger-fucking her and sucking her clit to keep her from coming. He knew if he did both at the same time, he’d push her over the edge.

“Leo….Leo, please,” she begged and neither of them could have pinpointed exactly what she was begging for – sweet release, regardless of the consequences, or for him to stop so she could take over.

He removed his fingers again from inside her and made eye contact with her while he licked her juices off each finger. She cursed softly in response.

“You are so damn delicious,” he murmured, while thrusting his fingers back inside her. Sabine moaned an incomprehensive reply, her body writhing from his touch.

After a few more minutes of ministrations by McCoy’s remarkable hands, and even more remarkable mouth, Sabine breathlessly told him to stop and move away. He did exactly as told, even if it was the last thing he wanted to do. She caught her breath and looked over at him. He nodded to her in encouragement and she proceeded to finish herself off, under his watchful, lustful eye.

When she had climaxed and was certain it was safe, she motioned to McCoy to join her. They lay together, their arms and legs tangled, enjoying their mutual contentment. Sabine had found it so easy to touch herself in front of Leo and it made her wish she could be that honest with him at all times.


	14. Chapter 14

“Now, here’s the thing – I like this woman – a lot. Try not to get in the way, okay?” McCoy gave Jim what he hoped was his most stern look.

“Wait, you’re actually admitting interest in a member of the opposite sex? I gotta meet this girl,” Jim perked up significantly and dropped his legs from where they’d been crossed on the coffee table. He stood up quickly, brilliant blue eyes shining. McCoy groaned; he knew he shoulda commed Sabine and told her to meet him at the library once he’d realized Jim was at the apartment and wasn’t leaving. But it was too late now – she was on her way.

McCoy had spent the afternoon cleaning their apartment and had run out to grab some drinks and snacks for the study session he and Sabine had planned. When he’d gotten back, there was Jim, sprawled out on the couch, already leaving his crap all over the place. McCoy wanted to howl in frustration. Jim’s study date had fallen through (study date, his ass) and now he couldn’t get rid of the kid. This was not how he wanted to introduce Sabine to Jim. Come to think of it, he didn’t want to introduce them at all. But he supposed this was bound to happen sooner or later.

“Tell me more about this lady who’s got you cleaning up our apartment,” Jim teased. This was like Christmas to him. Imagine, Bones dating! He could not wait to see what kind of woman would turn his best friend’s head.

“Listen here,” McCoy snarled, turning suddenly to his roommate and pointing a finger at him. “You’re gonna meet her in about 5 minutes. And so help me, if you say one wrong thing –”

“Relax, Bones. I know how to behave.” This prompted a huff of exasperation from the poor doctor.

“So this explains why you’ve been gone so much lately, huh?” Jim had been wondering where his drinking buddy was disappearing to the past month and a half.

“No, I’ve been gone because I work at the clinic and attend classes – something you should think about, you know.” McCoy didn’t want to admit that Jim was partially right – he had been spending a lot of time at Sabine’s dorm lately. Never overnight stays, but what little free time he had, he spent mostly with her. He gathered up all of Jim’s debris and tossed it into the other cadet’s messy room.

“You always found time to visit the bars with me in the past…,” Jim responded, ignoring his friend’s remarks about his less than stellar class attendance record.

“It’s been a busy semester,” McCoy muttered.

“I’ll say,” Jim retorted with glee. “Is she cute?”

“Shut it,” was the growled response.

And before McCoy had a chance to issue another threat to Jim, there was a knock on the door. Jim made a beeline to answer and it was only because McCoy was closer that he got to the door first. But just to be sure, he gave Jim a hearty push into the armchair on his way.

“Stay!” he commanded the younger cadet, like Jim was a golden retriever.

“You’ve got it so bad,” Jim teased, while untangling himself from the heap he’d landed in when McCoy shoved him.

“I will hurt you,” McCoy seethed quietly to him, while grabbing the door. Jim laughed in response and McCoy let his guest in.

“Hey….so it’s not just you and me here right now,” McCoy said to Sabine softly, blocking her from fully entering the apartment.

“Oh?” she replied. She’d never been in the McCoy/Kirk apartment when Jim was there. Her eyes lit up. “Does this mean I get to meet the infamous Jim Kirk?” She made her signature twisted half-smile and moved to push past McCoy. He rolled his eyes and got out of her way. At this point, there was no stopping this meeting. That train had left the station and was operating without brakes. He mentally girded his loins.

“So, you must be….,” Jim fell silent as he approached Sabine. He looked briefly at McCoy with something akin to approval and then focused his attentions back to Sabine. “…the woman who’s attempting to tame Bones,” he said appreciatively.

“You make that sound like quite a task – what if he is the one taming me?” she responded, arching an eyebrow. “I am Sabine Latour. You must be Jim Kirk.”

“In the flesh. Whatever Bones has told you, don’t believe it. Unless it was good.” Jim gave her one of his signature smiles and McCoy rolled his eyes.

“What good could I possibly say about you?” McCoy grumbled.

“He’s just grumpy because he thinks I’m gonna interrupt your…,” Jim paused and grinned lasciviously, “…study time. But don’t worry. You won’t notice me. It’ll be like I’m not even here.”

Sabine laughed as she removed her coat and handed it to McCoy, along with a bag of treats she had brought along as well – they certainly wouldn’t go hungry while studying. She turned back to face Jim, her eyes sparkling as much as his.

“I do not believe that for a second.”

“She’s a smart one, Jim.” McCoy couldn’t help if a bit of pride entered his voice.

“And we are here to study,” she said to Jim. “Nothing else.” She set her PADD down on the table, where McCoy had his PADD set up for studying.

“That’s between you two.” Jim crossed his arms and leaned against the entry-way to the dining nook, thoroughly enjoying the chance to spar with a beautiful woman.

“Mmm, maybe it concerns you too. Maybe we will wait till you are gone and then do unspeakable things in your bedroom.” McCoy let out an unexpected laugh at that. He had to hand it to Sabine – she gave as good as she got.

“Oh, I like this one, Bones. I like her a lot.”

“You should. You hit on me my first night on campus,” Sabine retorted.

“I think I remember that. It was at O’Shae’s, wasn’t it?”

“It was! I am surprised you remember.” She cocked her head to the side, intrigued that Jim Kirk would remember such a fleeting encounter from over a year ago.

“I never forget a beautiful face.”

McCoy rolled his eyes. Jim was laying it on thick.

“Does that really work on other girls?” she asked, unimpressed.

“The Jim Kirk charm seemed to work on your friend, if I recall,” Jim said nonchalantly, as if she hadn’t just insulted him. Instead, he flashed her a megawatt grin.

“Oh là. You are incorrigible,” Sabine shook her head at him, smiling at the same time.

“Well, now that we’ve all met, how ‘bout you show us just how invisible you can be?” McCoy said pointedly to Jim.

“Okay, okay. It was a pleasure meeting you, Sabine. Hope I get to see a lot more of you around here,” Jim gave another grin that would have seemed lecherous on any other guy and reached out to shake Sabine’s hand. She hesitated before placing her gloved hand in his.

“Have a good night, Jim,” she responded, pulling her hand away from his after they had shook hands. If he noticed her gloves, he didn’t let on. Of course, it was late fall so maybe he thought she just hadn’t finished unbundling from the walk over.

“Can I get you something to drink?” McCoy asked Sabine as she sat down.

“Sure. Water would be great.”

“No coffee?”

“Not yet. We have a long night ahead – I will wait till I really need it.”

“Be right back,” he told her and he left the nook to grab drinks from the kitchen. On his way, he made eye contact with Jim, who had resumed his couch sprawl. Jim gave him a thumbs up and he snorted in response. Jim took that as an invitation to spring off the couch and join McCoy in the kitchen.

“Remember, you promised to behave,” McCoy said softly yet ominously to his roommate.

“Yeah, well, I can’t help it if she wants to play. She’s really something, Bones.” Jim kept his voice low as well.

“You do anything to cause trouble tonight and I swear, you’ll wake up with no eyebrows,” McCoy had often threatened to shave Jim’s eyebrows in his sleep but it hadn’t actually happened yet.

“Hey, I don’t want to mess this up. I want her to come back. Maybe bring some of her friends…..”

“Over my dead body,” McCoy growled, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge for Sabine and then grabbing a cup to pour himself some coffee.

“I’m kidding, Bones. I’m kidding. But I do like her. And if her friends want to come by…”

McCoy groaned in response.

“You’re an idiot. Now leave us alone. We’re studying for block exams – it’s important,” he added, knowing Kirk had no idea what block exams were.

“Gotcha. I’ll be as quiet as a mouse. You’ll forget I’m around,” Jim smiled as he sauntered back to the couch and laid down on it.

While Jim wasn’t quite as inconspicuous as McCoy would have liked, he did an admirable job keeping quiet, only socializing with the couple when they would take breaks from their studies. It was obvious that Jim and Sabine would get along just fine and though McCoy would rather be hogtied and drug down the street by wild horses than admit it, he was pleased that his roommate approved of his girlfriend. Not that Jim Kirk was especially discerning when it came to pretty women, but McCoy noticed that Jim was going out of his way to behave, even ignoring the glove issue, which he was certain his roommate would pester him about at some point.

Around 4am, Sabine began to pack her stuff up, saying she needed to get back to her dorm for a few hours of sleep.

“You know, you could stay here tonight,” McCoy gestured to the now-empty couch that Jim had abandoned for his bed around 2am. “I can sleep there and you can take my bed.”

“Oh…I should not,” she said softly. “But thank you for the offer.”

“You sure?” McCoy had noticed that Sabine never wanted him to spend the night with her. He understood when the only place to sleep was her rather tiny bed – the temptation to be intimate was exacerbated by close quarters. He’d even understood when she’d left his place the other night because he hadn’t been quite sure what time Jim might finally stagger back. But Jim knew about her now and he was offering to stay in a completely separate room.

“Yes. I….I do not sleep very well,” she hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I have nightmares frequently and they trigger my telekinesis.”

McCoy stared at his girlfriend for a moment before answering. He believed what she was saying and was surprised she was being so forthright with him. He took her hand in his own and sat down next to her, leading her to stop packing her bag and sit as well.

“So when you say it triggers the telekinesis…?” he prompted her.

“I get upset when I have nightmares and I make things around me levitate… sometimes I accidentally break things.”

“Things like?”

“Anything that is not bolted to the floor.”

“So…. furniture?”

“Yes,” she said uncomfortably. He whistled.

“Is that how you ended up with one of the coveted single rooms?”

“Yes,” she repeated, looking forlorn. “I broke the nose of my friend Maria one night because a chair hit her while I was sleeping. I felt so awful when I realized what I had done.”

“Oh, darlin’.” McCoy didn’t know what else to say. He caressed her cheek.

“You did not realize what you were getting into when you decided to date me. I feel terrible. We cannot have sex and we cannot even sleep – just sleep! – with each other.”

“I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Still hoping the whole sex thing isn’t permanently off the table.”

She smiled at him. “Me too. But in the meantime, I am also working on a remedy for my sleep-related issues.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes. Up to now, my only recourse has been sleeping aids but I do not want to be reliant on outside factors to get good sleep. So I am working with some of the science and medical faculty to study what triggers me and how to circumvent my telekinesis…and maybe even stop the nightmares.”

Sabine was proud of herself for being able to tell Leo about her sleep issues and even more relieved that she hadn’t needed to lie to him. While it was true that she was working with faculty members to figure out how to prevent her sleep episodes, she omitted to mention that Section 31 was also involved. At this point, Sabine no longer had qualms about omissions. Anything she could share with Leo was a victory in her book.

“These nightmares…what are they about?”

A shadow crossed her face.

“They vary. I do not always remember them.”

“This might sound weird but… Do they ever involve you walking hand in hand with someone else… like maybe me… by a river in a city?”

McCoy had been wanting to tell Sabine about the eerie dreams which left him feeling so tense and agitated. This seemed like a good opportunity to do so, though even he wasn’t sure why he asked her if she was having the same dreams he was. Maybe it had something to do with how connected to her he felt when he’d wake up. He had frequently rolled over upon waking, expecting to see her next to him. And his agitation stemmed, in part, from worrying about whether she was safe.

The color drained from Sabine’s face. McCoy had never seen her so pale and so alarmed.

“What are you talking about?” Her voice was wobbly.

“I don’t know. I just…I’ve had these dreams lately…where I’m walking with you…and we’re next to a river, on a stone precipice of some sort – next to a road, maybe? It’s in a city somewhere, but no city I’ve ever seen. It’s an old place, like from a different era. That’s all I really remember. But it always leaves me feeling anxious when I wake up.”

“Fils de pute,” she gasped softly. McCoy didn’t understand the exact words she had uttered but her tone told him enough.

“What? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Everything is fine. I need to get home. It is late.” She stood and started moving erratically around the room.

“Well, let me walk you back.”

“No, please. It is five minutes from here. I will be fine. I need to clear my head anyway.” Sabine was throwing her things into her bag, grabbing her coat, a frantic ball of nervous energy.

“Hey, stop,” McCoy grabbed her by her arms and turned her towards him. “What the hell is going on?”

“I cannot say. I do not know. Please, let me go.” She begged him with tears in her eyes and he was helpless to resist her entreaty.

“Well, fine, but I’m walking you to your dorm. No objections!” He said as she opened her mouth to protest. Upon seeing the determination in his eyes, she closed her mouth and quietly finished gathering her things. He could tell she was making great attempts to appear calm.

The walk to her dorm was silent. McCoy still had no idea what in damnation had happened. Something about his dreams had violently upset Sabine.

When they got to the door of her dorm building, she turned to him. “I am so sorry for my reaction earlier.”

“Are you okay? What was it about my dreams that’s got you so wound-up?”

“They are the same dreams I have. I do not know how that is possible.” Her voice was low and the haunted look in her eyes sent a chill through McCoy. He opened his mouth to ask more questions but she stopped him by holding her hand over his mouth.

“Please, no more tonight. We both need to sleep before the exams start. Surely the dreams are just a weird coincidence.” But everything about how she was acting said otherwise.

“Okay, darlin’,” he sighed, feeling once more that she wasn’t telling him the whole truth. “Take care tonight. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. They kissed but McCoy was only half-attentive, his mind racing about what had happened in the last half hour. He decided to do some research on shared dreams after block exams were over. He didn’t want to ask Sabine if she’d be okay with it – clearly she wasn’t sharing everything she knew with him so he’d figure it out on his own.


	15. Chapter 15

“It does not make sense,” Sabine said, staring at the mug of coffee in front of her. “How can we share dreams?” Her voice was reedy from lack of sleep and a rigorous day of exams.

She had commed Cass frantically after the last exam and begged to meet. Cass, hearing the panic in her friend’s voice, cleared her schedule for the evening and now the two girls were sitting in a room of the engineering building, sharing cups of lukewarm coffee while Sabine filled her handler in on what McCoy had told her the night before.

Cass was still adjusting to the fact that Sabine’s new man was someone she knew so well. She and Jim had hung out with Bones more times than she could count. And now he was dating one of her subjects. The whole thing was too close for comfort and making matters worse was this added strangeness of the telepathic dream connection between Sabine and Bones.

What Cass wouldn’t admit to herself, much less anyone else, was her disappointment that Len McCoy was off the market. As happy as she was that Sabine had finally found a good man to date, there was a piece of her that mourned what could have been. She’d always thought there might be more than a little spark between her and the crusty doctor and she’d secretly hoped they’d end up dating someday. But hey, Bones was one man – there were plenty of other fish in the sea.

“I don’t know. You’re positive Bo – sorry – Len – doesn’t have any kind of telepathic ability?”

Cass looked over at Sabine and felt a stab of guilt for her attraction to Bones. It was obvious Sabine was crazy for him and it was equally clear she had been shaken to the core over his revelation regarding his dreams the night before. Cass hadn’t seen Sabine looking this bad since the crew had first arrived at Section 31’s main headquarters in London, shell-shocked from landing in a new time and then transporting from Iowa to England in a matter of seconds. Using a transporter for the first time was intimidating to someone who had grown up knowing about them, let alone a group of scared and scarred individuals displaced in time who had no idea what was going to happen to them when they stepped off the transporter platform. Cass remembered debriefing each of them and she would never forget how Sabine had radiated bands of black and grey as she despaired internally over the fact that she hadn’t died making that last jump. It had been almost too much for Cass to handle. Sabine hadn’t yet realized how overpowering she was, even to a telepath as strong and trained as Cass Pike. Some of those same bands of grey radiated from Sabine right now and Cass opened a channel to send her friend some comfort and relief.

“I am pretty sure. You know him; have you ever detected any abilities from him?” Sabine accepted the feelings her friend was pushing to her and looked at Cass with some hope that she would be able to solve the mystery before them.

“No, can’t say that I have. But I’ve also never really paid attention like that to him. Would you mind if I read him the next time I see him?” Cass wanted to respect Sabine’s privacy but she also needed to figure out what the hell was happening.

“Please! Tell me if you sense anything!” Reading was Cass’s term for examining someone telepathically without the person noticing.

“We should arrange something – a night out at the bar together. It’ll be easier for me if we’re out somewhere with a lot of noise and people. He’ll be less likely to sense what I’m doing.”

“Okay. Whatever is best for you.”

Sabine was desperate to understand why she and McCoy were sharing dreams. With Dinesh dead, it wasn’t something she should be able to do with anyone, let alone someone without telepathic abilities. She worried at her bottom lip with her teeth as she wondered how long Leo had been sharing dreams with her and whether he really only remembered walking along the Seine with her. She’d been troubled when he had replaced Dinesh in her recurring sleep memories of their last walk in Paris but if she’d known before now that he was sharing that memory with her, she may have stopped seeing him altogether, both for their mutual safety, and to protect herself from reliving the past with an unsuspecting observer.

“Has he met the rest of the crew yet?”

“No. I am not sure he or I are ready for that.” Cass cut a look to Sabine at that and the other woman just shrugged her shoulders. Cass understood that the twelve were a handful for anyone to acclimate to but now wasn’t the time to worry about whether McCoy was going to be adopted into the gang.

“Well, you better get ready because that would be the perfect diversion for me. He’ll be so busy meeting everyone, I’ll be able to reach out without him knowing.”

Sabine sat silent in thought for a moment before answering.

“We will be there. We can choose a night, get the group there – I will make sure Leo and I are there.”

“Good. I’ll bring Jim along so it doesn’t seem as weird that I know all you guys.”

“Jim too?” Sabine was growing more nervous about this whole friends-meeting the more they talked. Cass pushed some confidence through the connection.

“Look, Sabs, you want to get to the bottom of this or not?”

“Yes. Okay. I get it. Everyone will be there. Whatever you need.”

“Hey, it’ll be fine. Jim will work the crowd like he always does.” Now it was Sabine’s turn to give her friend a look.

“So which one is he going to take home with him?” she asked dryly.

“He already got with Taty…My credits are on Mía.”

“I did not mean for you to give me a serious answer.”

“Don’t ask the question if you don’t wanna know… but I do need to ask you something kinda personal right now.”

“Hmm?”

“This thing with…Len…is it maybe related to sex? Could you have had a telepathic incident with him in bed?”

Rather than be her usual crass self, Cass framed the question as politely as she could, knowing Sabs could be a prude about this kinda thing.

“No. That is part of why I am so upset. Cass, we have not…well…I mean…we have…but not…,” Sabine didn’t know quite how to tell her friend she hadn’t quite sealed the deal with her boyfriend yet.

“Wait? Have you guys not had sex yet? What the literal fuck, Sabs?”

“We have engaged in fuck-adjacent acts,” Sabine said defensively. “But that is the problem. If we fuck, I will come and then he will see into my mind.”

“We gotta get you up to speed, sweetie. What the hell do you two do for fun?”

“We keep each other satisfied, thank you very much. And yes, I need to work more on the telepathy control, I know. But Cass, it means he is sharing a link with me without my initiation,” Sabine looked at her friend with renewed worry. “And he knew that the location of the dream….he knew it was not from the present. What do I do if he figures out when and where it is?”

Cass stared at the other telepath as she tried to wrap her mind around both the fact that Sabine and McCoy hadn’t had sex yet and the fact that they were still sharing some sort of telepathic bond, either unknowingly created by Sabine or created some other way. A bond that might blow her subjects’ covers if they didn’t figure it out.

“I don’t have a good answer right now,” Cass hated disappointing the other telepath. “But what I do know is it’ll be okay. We’ll handle this. For starters, I’m gonna request that you get more time allotted weekly for the telepathic courses. I know it’ll make your schedule even more crazy, but we need to get you to a safe point.”

“Yes… Fine… Do it.”

Sabine sighed as she contemplated how much less free time she was going to have. The crew already took a whole slew of classes at the bequest of Section 31 that had nothing to do with their normal curriculums. They all suspected it was because Section 31 intended to recruit them as agents upon graduation. But in Sabine’s case, she knew she needed the additional telepathic work. It just meant she’d be sacrificing a little more time she’d otherwise spend with her friends, McCoy, or in the dance studio. At this point, she was lucky to get in the studio once a week.

Cadets were encouraged to participate in activities that kept them fit – be it running, swimming, dancing, or whatever other physical pursuit they showed interest in. But as Section 31 had filled the twelve’s schedules with extra classes on advanced hand-to-hand combat, weaponry, and espionage, Sabine and her crewmates had found it hard to make sufficient time for exercise. They were all still fit, but they missed the release of endorphins and the stress management that regular exercise had given them. Sabine wondered if she should take up running in the early morning as a replacement until her schedule became more manageable…if it ever became more manageable. But none of that mattered as much as figuring out why Leo was sharing her dreams and how to make that stop.

“Okay, so I’ll PADD you when I work out the schedule and get a time that we can all meet. And I’ll be sending you the new meeting times with me and Agent Varik to work on controlling yourself. I think we’ll focus on blocking for the next few weeks.”

Cass was busy typing away on her PADD as she spoke. She looked up to see Sabine sitting in front of her, lost in thought.

“Come on, girl. It’ll be alright,” she reiterated, hoping to get through to Sabine. “We’ll figure this out.”

She didn’t know if that was true but she couldn’t have the other telepath wandering around like a zombie for the next few days. And there was no organisation better than Section 31 to deal with this mess. As disparaging as the crew may have been to the Section on occasion, they all realized the resources it afforded them.

Sabine focused on her friend. “Okay,” she said, her voice still hollow. Cass observed the bags under her eyes.

“When’s the last time you slept? Like really slept?”

“I am not sure. Maybe 5 days ago?”

“Shit. You know you need more sleep than that,” Cass muttered as she grabbed at a hypospray within her bag. She’d brought it along suspecting Sabine hadn’t slept in a while. Sabine never slept enough for her liking.

“Here – take this. And don’t let anyone see it, okay? That stuff’s illegal in, like, 24 interplanetary jurisdictions. But it’ll give you the best sleep you’ve ever had. There’s enough there for the next five days.”

“Are you sure about this?” Sabine examined the hypospray without touching it.

“Dude, it’s my job to keep you alive. Yeah, I’m sure about it.”

“What is it?” Sabine asked as she gingerly took the hypospray from Cass’s outstretched palm. She scrutinized it closely and Cass could tell the doctor in Sabine had come out. She decided truth was the best option. Otherwise, Sabine would probably ask McCoy to help her determine what was in the hypo and then all hell would break lose once he figured it out.

“It’s narpholix,” she said softly, suddenly paranoid that someone else might hear her.

Sabine blew a raspberry and handed the hypo back to her.

“No. I am not taking narpholix. You know how addictive it is.”

“This has been cut with dylocine – it’s a 60/40 blend. It’s fine. Sabs, I wouldn’t get you hooked on a dangerous drug. Again, it’s my job to keep you at peak performance. Now, please, take the hypo and get some sleep.” She pressed the hypospray back into her friend’s hands. Sabine held onto it but looked dubious.

“I do not even want to know how you got this,” she said, putting it in her own bag as though it were a bomb or something. Cass refrained from rolling her eyes.

“Damn straight you don’t,” Cass hadn’t told Sabine about her sister’s less-than-savory lifestyle. And she hadn’t mentioned to anyone in her family that she was in regular contact with Aubrey. Some things were better kept as secrets.

“Okay, so we’re all set, right? Go on, get movin’. I’ll catch you later,” Cass gave Sabine a quick hug and pushed her out of the room and on her way.


	16. Chapter 16

The music was thumping in The Black Hat, vibrating off the walls and into the bones of the club-goers. It was dark, save for strobe lights that rotated around the large room, changing colors in sync with the beat. Cass nodded to herself in approval. This was the perfect location to read Bones. He’d never know what was happening. He was also going to hate it. She could hear his gripes in her imagination already. Oh well. It was for a good cause. She scanned the room, looking for the other members of the Resurrection crew. She had sent Jim to the bar for drinks immediately upon arriving and she saw him there, drinks in hand, chatting up a busty blonde. Cass rolled her eyes and decided to make her way towards him, and her much-needed drink. On the way, she spotted Mía and Maria already out on the dance floor. She waved to them and Maria waved back, pointing to a table in the back where the rest of the crew, minus Sabine, were hanging out with other cadets, before returning her attentions to the handsome Aulacri she was dancing with. Cass smiled to herself, content to see the crew mixing in with others. It was times like this when she felt like everything was gonna work out with these crazy kids. But then she remembered why she was there. Things would work out if she could determine what the deal was with her telepathic friend.

Having made her way to Jim, she “accidentally” bumped into the busty blonde, spilling the girl’s drink and sending her off in a huff. Jim gave her a look.

“Thanks a lot, Cass. I liked her,” he groused.

“Eh, she was more trouble than you want – trust me. Daddy issues like whoa. I’ll find you someone better tonight,” Cass said, sipping her drink innocently.

“I’m gonna hold you to that. You owe me one,” Jim replied, still annoyed that the blonde had disappeared.

“Come on. Let’s go find some fun,” she said good-naturedly, completely unphased by Jim’s pouting.

At that moment, she felt Sabine enter the room. She looked up and over to the entrance, and sure enough, there was her petite friend with a very irritable-looking McCoy alongside her. Cass wondered what Sabine had said to get him to agree to this place. Whatever it was, it looked like McCoy was regretting his decision. She waved and Sabine waved back at her. The nice thing about being telepaths was that they could always find each other quickly in crowded spaces. Each telepath emitted a distinct wavelength that other telepaths could sense. It was almost like a beacon to one another and it made things like meeting in a crowded, dark club easy. Sabine and McCoy made their way over to Jim and Cass. Cass ordered a couple of drinks to have ready for them once they finally managed to join her and Jim.

“This place is worse than a barn on fire,” McCoy bitched, taking the drink Cass handed him and nodding his head at her in thanks.

“Hey Cass, Jim!” Sabine was nervous, Cass could tell. She reached out to the other telepath and gently pushed serenity through their connection to calm her down. Cass didn’t think of it as emotional manipulation when she was offering Sabine something she so clearly needed. Besides, Sabs could turn her down if she wanted, something harder for a non-telepath to do.

_Thank you; I needed that._

No problem. It’s gonna be fine. Be cool, okay?

_Be cool? What does that even mean?_

It means stop being you, basically.

Sabine glared at Cass after that remark and Cass smiled sweetly.

Drink up. It’ll help. You look well-rested, by the way. I take it you’ve gotten some good sleep, huh?

_Yes. Thanks. I do not think I have slept that well in years._

I’m just gonna say it – told you so. God, it feels good to be right.

_I imagine it is a rare feeling so you should savor it._

Cass and Sabine couldn’t help but gently tease each other. Cass made a face at Sabine in response. Jim and McCoy had been talking to one another but they both stopped and stared at the two women – one with pupils so dilated that her entire iris appeared black and the other with eyes that were glazed over. It was bizarre to watch them make faces, obviously responding to whatever silent remarks they were making to one another.

“Hey you two. No private conversations unless you’re discussing which attractive woman to send my way,” Jim complained with a smile.

“Sorry,” Sabine said meekly, closing the connection while Cass just scrunched her nose and stuck her tongue out at Jim.

McCoy moved closer to Sabine and put his free arm around her, resting his hand on her back. He knew she was nervous to introduce him to her friends and he was nervous to meet them. She’d warned him about the closeness of the group and asked him to not take it personally if they didn’t instantly warm up to him. Between that and the annoyance of being in a crowded club, McCoy was chalking this night up as one of the tasks you found yourself forced to do in a relationship. It couldn’t be passion and happiness all the time. A relationship took grunt work too and tonight was definitely grunt work.

Sabine sipped her drink, swaying in rhythm to the music now that she’d been soothed by her friend. Cass noticed McCoy’s free hand on the small of Sabine’s back. They really were a cute couple. Cass knew Sabine offered Bones a certain peace that she herself would never be able to give him. They’d be too busy fighting. And maybe enjoying great angry sex…and even better make-up sex. Cass shook her head to clear her thoughts. It was damn good Sabine was so scrupulous about not looking into other peoples’ minds.

“Hey, the gang’s got a table in the back. Let’s join ‘em,” Cass said to the other three, ready to move the evening along so that she could get down to business.

Everyone got in line to follow Cass to the crew’s table and McCoy grabbed Sabine’s arm gently to stop her.

“The gang? Cass knows your friends too?” he asked her as quietly as he could in a loud club.

“Yes. I told you. We met Cass at orientation. And she spends a lot of time with me, helping with the telepathy exercises. She has become friendly with my friends too.”

Sabine’s answer seemed to mollify McCoy. She gulped down her drink, not wanting to deal with whether what she had just said counted as an omission or a flat-out lie. She was pretty sure it was the latter.

When they got to the table, there was an outpouring of cheers and squeals. Everyone was in their cups but not to the point of embarrassment…at least not yet. Someone noticed Sabine’s empty glass and handed her another drink, procured from who-knew-where. Introductions were made as Jim and McCoy were relative newcomers. Jim had met some of them before – he shared a libidinous smile with Taty – but McCoy was the brand new element and the reason most of them had agreed to come out tonight.

“Darlin’, there’s no way I’m gonna remember everyone’s name,” he said in Sabine’s ear. “I just met at least 15 people in 30 seconds.”

“It will be fine. I am right here,” she responded, getting up on her tip-toes to reply in his ear, even though he’d lowered his head down to hers. Their hands intertwined, fingers laced together.

Sabine was well into her second drink and Cass thought with no small amount of glee that Fun Sabs was likely to make an appearance before the night was over. In the meantime, Maria and Mía had returned to the table, made their introductions to McCoy and now Mía was cozying up to Jim while Maria chatted up McCoy. Cass elbowed Sabine and nodded over to Mía and Jim with a lewd smirk. Sabine rolled her eyes and giggled.

“I never put credits on that bet so it does not count,” she half-shouted over the blaring sounds pouring forth from the speakers.

“Yeah it does. You ask the question, you pay the next round,” Cass shouted back. Sabine waved her hand dismissively and grabbed her drink again. Oh yeah, Cass thought happily. Fun Sabs was definitely coming out tonight.

Meanwhile, McCoy had been pulled into a conversation with John, Anthony, and Maria. Sabine moved closer to make sure they weren’t interrogating her poor boyfriend.

“So, Georgia, huh? Not bad. Not bad at all,” John said approvingly.

“Yeah, and I went to undergrad and med school at Ole Miss,” McCoy responded, eliciting a huge grin from the other southerner.

“You don’t say? I’m likin’ you more and more by the minute. God, I miss that place,” John replied, thinking back to his days as a youth attending football games at the college.

“Yeah, nothin’ like the Grove on gameday,” McCoy mused. John nodded his assent while Anthony snorted.

“You Americans and your college sports obsessions,” he muttered.

“Hey, Ole Miss has a football club that could rival the Toronto FC any day,” McCoy huffed companionably.

John looked at Sabine and she saw his momentary confusion before he realized McCoy was talking about what Americans had once called soccer. It had become the predominant sport worldwide in the 23rd century. When McCoy spoke of visiting the Grove on gameday, he was talking about pre-gaming a soccer match, not the now-extinct game of American football. She smiled triumphantly at John, as the two of them had always sparred over which version of football was better. This was one argument she’d won.

“Ole Miss FC,” John said with a mix of irony for Sabine’s benefit, and actual pride in his alma mater. “The best in the SEC.”

“College sports will never be as fun as national teams,” Maria interjected, ready for a friendly argument about her sport of choice.

Sabine relaxed, realizing the cadets would bond over sports and she wouldn’t have to worry about John and Anthony’s approval. And Maria? She’d made it clear from the day she overheard their comm that she was Team Sabs and Leo. Sabine rubbed McCoy’s arm affectionately and left to say hello to some of her other friends.

Seiji beckoned Sabine over to where he and Jayesh were holding court with Jinjing and some none-crew cadets and she groaned, preparing herself for the harassment that lay ahead.

“So, that is the man, right?” Seiji asked as she joined his circle.

“Yes, that is Leo,” she replied warily.

“Looks like John approves,” Jayesh replied. “But what we really want to know is which one of you plays doctor in the bedroom,” he said with a licentious grin. Seiji laughed and waggled his eyebrows at Sabine.

“Mmm, fuck off,” Sabine responded, ready to leave them to their childish jokes.

Seiji and Jayesh, of all the crew, had undergone the most significant change upon entering the Academy. Where once Seiji been their serious and thoughtful leader, with Jayesh as his equally fastidious second-in-command, they had both become juvenile and racous. They were still friends to everyone when push came to shove, but, as Cass liked to point out, they were finally sowing some much-neglected oats.

Sabine didn’t understand how Jinjing put up with it from Seiji. The two of them had been a couple, on and off, for over 12 years now and Sabine suspected Jinjing either had the patience of a saint or she was waiting for someone better to come along so she could dump Seiji’s ass. Jayesh, on the other hand, could probably give Jim a run for his credits on the number of girls slept with at the Academy.

“Hey, hey! We kid, we kid. He seems nice,” Seiji replied, seeing Sabine back away to leave.

“He IS nice. Do not mess with him tonight or Jinjing will reprogram your room replicators to serve only Centaurian slugs,” Sabine threatened. Jinjing nodded sagely to back her girlfriend up.


	17. Chapter 17

For Sabine, the night progressed with little cause for alarm. For Cass, there were a couple of bumps along the way. Firstly, her read of McCoy didn’t reveal any signs of telepathic ability or activity on his end, though she could see a connection between Bones and Sabs and, based on her own speculations, she knew she was gonna have to sit down later and have a serious, unwanted conversation with her friend. And then there was the Shrax incident.

Of course Sabine and McCoy were going to spend a fair amount of the evening talking with Adjoa and Shrax – it made sense given how close Adjoa and Sabine were. What Cass hadn’t anticipated was that the girls would leave McCoy and Shrax alone while they went to grab more drinks for the foursome. Luckily, it happened while Cass was reading McCoy so she was able to hear what happened in their absence. This was exactly the kind of shit she had warned Adjoa about after she’d found out the other woman had spilled the beans to her boyfriend. The conversation started out innocently enough.

“So it’s a lot to take in, meeting the group all at once,” Shrax said (maybe a little sloppily) to McCoy as they sipped on their beers.

“Yeah, like tryin’ to shoot fish in a barrel, rememberin’ y’all’s names,” McCoy responded, his accent growing thicker by the beer.

“It’s a good bunch,” Shrax said thoughtfully, his antenna waving up and down slowly as Andorian antennas were wont to do after copious consumption of alcohol. “Intimidating at first and a lot doesn’t make sense… but if you stick it out, it’ll all come into place.”

McCoy looked at the Andorian quizzically, realizing in a little bit of a fog that this was perhaps another person who had experienced what he was going through with Sabine and her odd reticence to answer questions completely or honestly.

“Whatd’ya mean?” he asked, his voice only slightly slurred.

“Well, I don’t know how it is for you and Sabine, but for us, in the beginning, a lot of things didn’t add up and Adjoa wouldn’t give me straight answers to save her life –”

“Yes! I know exactly what ya mean!” McCoy interrupted enthusiastically. This guy knew what he was going through.

“It gets better, I promise. It’ll all make sense – just be patient and Sabine will tell you everything.”

Cass swore and reached out to Adjoa.

_Get over here and get your boyfriend under control right now before he blabs anything else to Len. I told you it was a bad idea to tell him. I swear, Adjoa, I’ll erase his memories if he doesn’t shut up._

Adjoa immediately left the bar and frantically worked her way over to the two men. Sabine remained oblivious to the entire situation, her attention focused on getting the bartender to come over so she could order the group drinks.

“Eh, baby, what are you doing?” Adjoa asked Shrax sharply upon returning to the two men.

Cass had also converged on them and had taken the liberty of clouding McCoy’s mind so that when he tried to recall what he and Shrax had just been talking about, he drew a blank. Cass knew Sabine would murder her if she knew Cass had played with McCoy’s mind but she was determined Sabine would never find out. She liked Sabine, liked McCoy, liked the whole lot of them, but her responsibilities at the end of the day were to Section 31. If some memories had to get erased in service to keeping these fuckers anonymous, then so be it.

Adjoa was talking angrily with Shrax and Cass almost pitied the poor Andorian, knowing that once Adjoa got fired up, it was gonna be a long night for the source of her ire. Cass grabbed McCoy by the arm and pulled him out to the dance floor.

“Come on, cowboy,” she said to him, plucking his beer bottle from his hand and setting it on an empty table on their way to the floor. “Let’s get you warmed up for your girlfriend.” McCoy grumbled but ultimately acquiesced.

By the time Sabine made it back to where she’d left her boyfriend with Shrax, Adjoa was gathering her things to leave and Shrax was staring guiltily at the floor.

“Where are you two going?” Sabine asked Shrax.

“Oh, home. Adjoa –”

“Adjoa has to take this connard back to his dorm,” Adjoa cut in, still angry at her beau. “Have a good night, oh! I like him – he is perfect,” she said, nodding to where McCoy and Cass were dancing and giving her best friend a quick hug.

“You are leaving so early,” Sabine complained as she hugged her friend in return. “Who will drink all these drinks?” she asked mournfully.

“Bah, ne t'inquiètes pas. They will get drunk,” Adjoa replied.

“À bientôt,” Shrax said as he gave Sabine a hug as well. Adjoa had taught him a couple of phrases that he only used with the two women.

“À la prochaine,” Sabine replied back to the both of them, watching her friends leave. She looked over to the group at the bigger table and saw everyone deep in conversation with one another and then turned her gaze to the dance floor, where Cass was beckoning her to join them. The decision wasn’t hard. Sabine made her way over to Cass and Leo.

“Hey, come take my place,” Cass yelled to her as she got close enough. “I’ve got my eye on that fella over there. Wish me luck!” With that, she left Sabine and McCoy together to dance and worked her way over to the Rigelian she’d been eyeing all evening.

McCoy enjoyed the feeling of his girlfriend in his arms as they spun and danced to music so loud, conversation wasn’t possible. It didn’t matter though because he could communicate with Sabine through looks and moves. She was an exceptional dancer. Drinking hadn’t meddled with her coordination and she made him look like a better dancer than he was. Not that he was too shabby in that department. Among the many things Leonard McCoy had retained from his upbringing in the South was the ability to dance. But Sabine was in a different league. Some dancers made things look difficult – you could see the effort they were putting into the steps. Other dancers made it look effortless. Sabine was the latter. She was quite literally dancing circles around anyone else on the dance floor and she made it look as simple as walking. Sabine, with a sly smile on her face, swaying in and out of his arms, tantalizing him with every swing and shake of her hips, moving around him in perfect sync with the tunes and lights, was, in that moment, the most perfect woman he’d ever seen.

More of her friends joined them on the floor and soon, they were surrounded by the crew and others from the Academy. Jim and Mía were grinding on one another off towards the periphery of the group and McCoy rolled his eyes, hoping he was drunk enough that he’d pass out and not hear whatever bedroom gymnastics those two were gonna pull after this. The two Asian members of the crew were dancing with each other – McCoy couldn’t remember their names. John had an Orion girl in his arms and Anthony was canoodling with the Russian girl. The Aussie and the Brit were dancing together – he hadn’t talked to them very long but the short time he’d spent with Theo and Oliver had convinced him that they were, at the least, engineering cadets and possibly even serial killers. But Sabine had warned him about that. Maria was dancing with an Aulacri that she’d been flirting with all evening. McCoy liked Maria. She was one of the more forward and friendly members of Sabine’s group. She and the Russian – Tatyana – that was her name – had made him feel comfortable and welcome from the start. He’d seen Adjoa and Shrax leave and it was a shame because he liked them both, even if he couldn’t remember what it was about Shrax that he liked so much. Cass joined the group with her Rigelian conquest and McCoy decided that maybe this whole evening hadn’t been so bad after all. They were all drunk out of their minds, sing-shouting the songs, and showing each other their best dance moves. In the morning, they’d all reckon with the poor decisions they had made but right now, everything was fun.

At the end of the night, McCoy had sobered up somewhat, having slowed his intake a couple of hours earlier, after the crowd had begun to shuffle off the dance floor in pairs, some leaving to return to their dorms or apartments for the evening, others leaving for another bar, maybe where they could actually hear themselves over the din. Now, the only ones left were Sabine, Cass and Wulun, the Rigelian she’d gone to conquer, John and his nameless Orion lady friend, Seiji and Jinjing (Sabine had reminded him of their names), and the terrible twosome of Theo and Oliver, who were quietly making out with one another in a dark corner of the club. McCoy knew he should make some sort of attempt to get Sabine home soon but he was having too good a time watching her act up. He’d never seen his girlfriend this inebriated and Cass had been right – Fun Sabs was a delight.

“T-Rex,” she yelled as she slunk past him with her arms folded at a 45-degree angle into her chest, her hands curled in on themselves. It was unnatural, how reptilian she looked doing her T-Rex impression – almost like a Gorn. McCoy shuddered, saying another silent prayer that he would never run into a live Gorn.

“Sprinkler,” Jinjing yelled back, lifting her arm over her head and rotating her body spasmodically, the hand above her head batting in one direction and then sweeping back to repeat the first move. He supposed it did look a little like the sprinklers he saw on the lawns at the Academy.

“Hoverbus driver,” Cass yelled out, doing some dance-like imitation of a bus driver. McCoy wasn’t sure exactly how this game worked, but the point seemed to be to turn odd objects or activities into dance moves. The girls had been playing it for the last ten minutes while the men looked on, bemused. McCoy took a sip of his bourbon and wondered how much longer this game would go on.

But in the next instant, Cass and Sabine scrambled up on one of the tables, doing some sort of dance that involved not stepping on the bottles and glasses littering their dance space. McCoy set his drink down, realizing it was time to get his girlfriend home, before he had to shell out credits for whatever she might break. He walked over to the edge of the table and held his arms out to Sabine.

“Come on, dancin’ queen. Time to get home, darlin’,” he cajoled. She skipped over to him, delicately and astonishingly avoiding every glass and bottle in her way and gracefully tossed herself into his outstretched arms. He hoisted her over his shoulder, her squeals of joy and peels of laughter coming from behind him as she kicked her feet on his chest and lightly peppered his back with her fists.

“Keep kickin’ and hittin’ and I’ll carry you all the way back to the dorms like this,” he mock-threatened her. Her response was a volley of fresh kicks and hits as well as more laughter.

“Have it your way, love,” he said over his shoulder, resting his chin on her ass for a moment.

“Onward, my chariot,” she slurred in response, making kissing noises at him as she craned her head up and twisted it to make eye contact with him. They made their goodbyes, McCoy spinning around so that Sabine could make kissy faces and high five all her friends. The walk back to campus was quick as Sabine rested comfortably in her position on his shoulder, her head on his back as she sang nonsensical songs to him and smacked his ass with her hands when she wanted him to move faster. He couldn’t wait to remind her about this in the morning, when she would doubtlessly be suffering from a wicked hangover. He told her as much and she giggled.

“Silly, I do not get hangovers!”

“Really? Is that a telepath thing?”

“No…Cass gets horrible hangovers. She will be a bitch tomorrow. We should comm her early and listen to her yell,” Sabine said delightedly, clapping her hands.

“You’re truly evil, you know that?” She just giggled in response.

“Hey, what’s the code to your dorm again?” He knew he should remember it but he’d had enough to drink over the course of the night that a 4-digit code he’d only used a couple of times wasn’t springing to his mind.

“Turn around,” she commanded him. “I’ll enter it.” He complied. Once inside, he finally set her down, knowing he’d never make it up the stairs to her third floor dorm with her slung over his shoulder. Sabine’s face was red from all the blood that had rushed to it. She wavered a bit, took a couple of steps towards McCoy and then tapped her hand against his nose.

“Boop,” she cried out before dashing up the stairs. He wondered where she found so much energy. He was exhausted.

Up in her room, he made sure she brushed her teeth and splashed some water on her face, and then helped her undress. After he pulled her shirt off, she smiled at him and again bopped his nose with her hand.

“Boop,” she giggled.

He sighed. “You’re adorable but if you boop my nose one more damn time, I’m throwin’ you in the shower and turnin’ the sonic waves on high.”

Her response was a fresh set of giggles and he continued to help her undress and then tucked her into bed.

Sabine unfolded her covers so that her hands were free and proceeded to remove each glove. McCoy sat cautiously beside her on the bed. It was rare that she ever went ungloved but he supposed it made sense that she wouldn’t sleep in them. He caressed her face, brushing her curly hair away from it.

“Tonight was so much fun,” she whispered happily to him. “I think everyone loved you.”

“I had fun too,” he replied, smiling down at her. “Thanks for forcing me to come out. I like your friends.” She smiled even wider at his words and then yawned.

“Bonne nuit, mon loup,” she said drowsily.

He furrowed his brow at her, trying to determine what she’d just said. He bent down to kiss her goodnight and their lips met sloppily but they both lingered, finding their fit and deepening the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his back, her ungloved hands separated from his skin by his shirt and coat. As the kiss went longer, her left hand crept up his back and he felt her palm just skim his bare neck. She immediately removed it, placing her hand on his covered back but it was too late. Suddenly, he could feel her great contentment, could feel her desire and ardor for him, and could hear her thoughts.

            _Je t’aime, mon amour._

He could see the words in his mind, understood she was telling him she loved him. He’d never shared her thoughts before and it had not occurred to him she would think in a language that wasn’t Standard. He pulled away from the kiss.

“I love you too, darlin’,” he whispered softly to her. She smiled back at him and pulled herself up in her bed so that she could kiss his chin. Her thoughts and feelings faded from his mind. He was back in his own head now.

“Sleep well, beautiful,” he said softly as she settled back into her bed, burrowing her head into her pillow and pulling the blankets up around her neck as he stood up.

“You too,” she said sleepily. “Get home safely…”

“I’ll comm you in the mornin’,” he replied.

“Mmmmm,” was the muffled response.

“Room lights, 5%,” he directed her room computer as he opened the door to leave the room. It darkened behind him and he shut the door, thinking about how, for a moment, he’d shared her thoughts and feelings. He committed the words she’d thought to his memory, struggling to keep them straight in his drunken mind. He hadn’t suspected tonight would be the night they’d confess their love for one another but he certainly wasn’t upset about it. McCoy walked back to his apartment with a smile on his lips and didn’t even grumble when he realized Jim and Mía were still awake, making all sorts of ungodly noises. Instead, he pulled his pillow over his head and quickly fell asleep.


	18. Chapter 18

The medical labs on campus were generally deserted in the middle of the night. Medical cadets were either asleep, working shifts at the clinic, or studying in the library. But there was one cadet in the labs on this particular night. It was 3am and Sabine sat on a stool, looking at blood samples under the microscope, and reviewing her notes.

When she couldn’t sleep – or didn’t want to sleep – Sabine went to the labs. She was continuing work on a project she’d started several years before the Resurrection IV crew made their last jump. The project was nearly complete and she was checking her findings to make sure there had been no errors.

Sabine and the other members of the Resurrection crews had been born into a world at war. None of them had been alive for the reign of terror perpetuated by Khan Noonien Singh and his followers, but they had all dealt with the aftermath. Countries that had fallen to the Augments had been conquered by other countries once the Augments disappeared. Human rights atrocities piled up as countries sought to overthrow their conquerors and rectify the wrongs committed by these so-called “supermen.” No one knew what had happened to Khan and his group of 80 some followers but everyone knew that Augments had been “outlawed.” What had not been outlawed in many places was the genetic engineering that had given rise to Augments. Further, there were still Augment embryos that could be bought on the black market if the buyer had enough money. Expectant parents could have genetic modifications made to their embryos or even fetuses, though the risk to the mother was great. Several supranational organizations outlawed genetic engineering, including the European Union and the United Nations. The U.N. had stepped in and filled the vacuum of power created by the sudden decline of former superpowers like the United States. While it was a more effective organization than it had previously been, the U.N. could only monitor so many places worldwide and access to augmentation was frequently available via illegal providers.

There were countries like the United States, however, that allowed and even encouraged their citizens the right to use genetic augmentation. Proponents in the U.S. claimed that genetic engineering would lead to healthier, smarter humans. But the practice looked more like making a master race. The U.S. had long since shut its borders to anyone who wasn’t white and Christian. Even within the E.U., some countries turned a blind eye to attempts by parents and scientists to create augmented children. Germany, Spain, and Italy were all places where eugenics efforts were allowed, not by law but by practice. France was one of the E.U. countries that had fiercely prohibited efforts to create augmented humans, punishing any such activities with jail time or conscription into the military which was a de facto death sentence.

By the time Sabine and the other children had been recruited by the U.N. Peacekeepers, several millions had died in what would later be referred to as the Eugenics Wars. Many of the children selected by the Peacekeepers had been genetically enhanced in some way, though their enhancements were not as drastic as those made to the Augments in the generation before them. Some of the children knew they had been augmented because their parents had been honest with them. On the Resurrection IV crew, John, Jayesh, and Seiji all knew their parents had used such techniques on them before birth. Their parents had been assured that the violence of the earlier Augments had been eradicated and that these new, augmented children would not share the same aggression. They would have the strength, intelligence, and health benefits of augmentation, without the drawbacks. Other children collected by the Peacekeepers knew that their parents had not been able to afford or had refused augmentation. Adjoa, Maria, and Mía fell into this group. But then there were the children like Sabine who didn’t know whether their parents had genetically engineered them. All Sabine knew about her parents was that they’d had a hard time conceiving. Sabine was their only child and her mother often referred to her as their miracle baby.

As Sabine grew and learned more about the Eugenics Wars raging around her, she began to wonder – to fear – she was a product of augmentation. It would certainly explain why her telepathic and telekinetic powers were so much greater than anyone else she knew. Her grandmother on her mother’s side was a fellow telepath, but her abilities paled in comparison to what Sabine could do. Sabine’s mother had no telepathic abilities, but common knowledge at the time held that it wasn’t unusual for telepathy to skip generations. Sabine spent much of her first years in the U.N. Peacekeepers wondering if her abilities had been enhanced somehow. France was strict about preventing augmentation so perhaps it was just hereditary luck that her abilities were so great. She never worked up the courage to ask her parents, afraid of what either response would mean for her.

What was clear was that the 70-plus children selected to be in the U.N. Peacekeepers program were some of the best and brightest the world had to offer. Whether augmented or not, each child displayed an increased mental or physical capability, stronger than the average human. Several of them were telepaths. Not all survived the trainings but 60 of them made it to the Resurrection program. And when that program launched, it dawned on Sabine that she could study the blood of augmented crewmates and compare it to non-augmented blood. She intended to document as many of the markers that indicated augmentation as she could find. As the Resurrection program continued, Sabine expanded her research. She found the markers and then looked at how augment blood could be combined with non-augment blood in ways that would be safe to both parties. She knew from her own experiences with the members of her Resurrection crew that augmented people could heal faster and could endure more harm than normal humans. Passing traits like that on to others could be helpful. Still, she constantly worried that her research would fall into the wrong hands. After the jump, she kept most of her PADD locked by a changing sequence code only she could enter.

The blood samples she was studying at the moment belonged to John, Seiji, and Jayesh. She wanted to make sure that every calculation, every observation, was correct. At some point, her studies might be published, perhaps under a pseudonym or anonymously. People in the 23rd century assumed that all augmented people in the 21st century had been like Khan and his followers – egomaniacal tyrants. But her work was a step towards acknowledging that people like John, Jayesh, and Seiji could be productive members of society.

Sabine rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. It was 4am. She only had a couple of hours before other cadets would show up for the early lab shifts. She sighed. Everything had been checked and double-checked. Her findings were as firm as they would ever be, given the small sample size. Which meant there was no reason to keep delaying what she’d put off for most of her life. She sighed and grabbed an extraction hypo. No one ever needed to see these particular results, she reminded herself as she withdrew blood from her forearm. After wrestling with her fears for so long, she was finally ready to do this. The research had begun more for her own benefit and now it was time to find out – was she augmented or not? She held the vile of blood in front of her face. In an hour, she’d know the answer to a question that had haunted her for over 30 years – from the time she had realized genetic augmentation was possible. Maybe the answer would help her find new methods to control her telepathy and telekinesis.


	19. Chapter 19

“What are your plans for the holiday break?” McCoy ran his fingers along Sabine’s stomach as she lay in his arms. They’d been studying for end of semester exams and had taken a break to study each other instead.

“Mmmm, I will probably stay here,” she replied languidly, still lounging in a post-orgasmic haze. She grabbed his right hand and interlaced her fingers with his.

“That’s depressing. Don’t stay here – come with me to Georgia over the break,” he replied, causing her to sit up and look down at him.

“I….I would love to…but I do not think I can,” she said sadly.

“Why the hell not?” he persisted. It had taken McCoy some time to work up the courage to ask Sabine if she’d come back home with him for Christmas and now that he’d done it, he hadn’t anticipated that she might turn him down just to hang out on a lonely campus for the whole week.

“I… have stuff to do here,” she replied feebly.

“Horseshit,” he snorted. “Is this about the sleep thing? Because we can find a way around that…”

Sabine hadn’t even thought about her inability to sleep peacefully. That was just one more reason she shouldn’t go to Leo’s family home over Christmas. She was pretty sure Section 31 wouldn’t agree to any of the twelve leaving campus for a week. And besides, she needed the free time to work on her telepathic skills. At the same time, spending the winter holiday with Leo – it would be amazing. And maybe she could get Theo and Oliver to supply her with more narpholix so she’d enjoy dreamless sleep while there. She decided she’d talk to Cass and find out if it would be feasible for her to leave campus the week of winter break.

“Let me check on a couple of things and see if I can move some telepath trainings around. I am not saying yes for sure – just maybe for now.” She settled back against him and took his hand in hers once more.

“I’ll take maybe….for now. Also, just so you know, Jim’ll be there too.” Jim was estranged from his own family so it had become a McCoy tradition to bring him along for the breaks.

“Of course. It would not be a true holiday if I did not have to worry about him flirting or asking for my friends’ comm IDs the entire time.” She played idly with his pinky finger, touching the ring he always wore on it.

“What is the significance of this ring?” she asked him, changing the subject. She held his hand up so he could see it, as though there were another ring somewhere that she might be referring to.

“It was my great-grandmother’s ring. After she died, it came to me. I wear it to remember her.”

“Mmm, that is sweet,” she said softly.

“It’s from a time when people would give one another rings when they got married. Archaic practice now but my great-grandad gave her this ring when he asked to marry her,” McCoy responded, thinking fondly of his great-grandparents. They’d died when he a boy but he could remember learning to ride horses at their farm.

“Hold on a second,” he added, moving his other arm out from under her head and twisting the ring off his pinky. “Here,” he said, dropping it onto her palm. She held it closely to her face, looking at the sapphire in the center and the delicate filigree on the gold band.

“It is beautiful,” she said quietly. And it was. But it made her think of the ring Dinesh had given her that last time they had walked along the Seine, when he’d asked her to marry him – just a formality since they’d been bonded for years at that point. But a formality that had made her cry tears of joy. She had left that ring on the Resurrection IV, unable to look at it after he had died.

“Put it on,” he whispered in her ear, grabbing it from her and placing it on her middle finger. The ring was a little loose but it wouldn’t fall off. Instead, she could use her thumb to spin it around her finger, something she had done countless times with her own engagement ring when lost in thought or especially nervous.

“It looks good on you,” he said, quietly taking pleasure in seeing his ring on her finger. He’d never so much as thought about letting his ex-wife wear that ring, even at the height of their happiness.

“When Jocelyn and I divorced, I thought about giving this to Joanna…but her fingers are too small. Someday, I’d like her to have it. But in the meantime, it looks wonderful right where it is.”

Sabine looked up at him, startled.

“Oh no – I cannot wear this –”

“Why not?”

“It is a family heirloom. I would not feel right.”

“I want you to wear it. Think of it as a symbol of how much I care about you.”

That was the problem. Sabine wasn’t ready to wear another symbol of a man’s love for her. The last time she’d done this, it had ended in death and a broken heart. But she saw the light in Leo’s eyes and knew he’d be hurt if she insisted on refusing.

“If I do this – I only do it till Joanna can wear it. This is her ring, not mine.”

“Yeah, fine. You hold onto it till I can give it to her. She can’t wait to meet ya, you know that?”

“I cannot wait to meet her. Hopefully, I can join you all for Christmas.” Sabine had spoken to the young girl on comms and holovids before but meeting face to face would be a big step.

“Can’t see why not. There are no classes over the break. And you can do your trainings anywhere, right?”

If only he knew. For regular cadets, there were no classes. For the twelve, Section 31 had all sorts of plans. She sighed, hoping Cass would help her find a way to get out of it all.

“We should get back to anatomy,” she said reluctantly.

“I thought we just covered anatomy,” he responded playfully, kissing her neck.

“Mmm, you know what I mean. Come on, handsome. That exam will not take itself.” She rolled away from him slowly and got out of bed, looking for her red cadet jacket and skirt.

“You’re no fun,” he grumbled, sitting up on the side of the bed and looking for his own clothes.

“How about this – we study xeno anatomy for the next two hours and after that, we play strip-questions again,” she replied, knowing they’d end up naked and in bed.

“Two hours, you say?”  He responded with his eyebrow cocked.

“Two very short hours,” she said with a smile.

“You got yourself a deal.”

They dressed hurriedly and Sabine tried not to focus too much on the new weight bearing down on her left middle finger. She wasn’t going to let this be a big deal. Leo wasn’t asking her to marry him – just to wear a ring passed down through his family. Rings didn’t mean the same thing now as they had meant in her time. She wasn’t going to freak out.


	20. Chapter 20

“So that is why I need to know if I can get out of the winter break schedule,” Sabine finished, looking at Cass with eyes full of hope. It was after the weekly meeting and the two girls were alone. Sabine spun McCoy’s ring around her middle finger, nervously anticipating her handler’s response.

Cass stared at Sabine’s left hand, recognizing the ring she was wearing on her middle finger. Bones had worn that ring for as long as she’d known him. And he wanted Sabine to come home with him and meet the family – this shit was getting serious.

“I don’t know. You know how the Section can be about this stuff,” She didn’t want to give her friend false hope.

“I know. But I had to ask,” Sabine responded dejectedly.

“Hey, this isn’t a no…yet. Let me see what I can do, okay?” Sabine’s eyes lit up at that and Cass realized this conversation was as good an opportunity as any to have the awkward talk she’d been putting off for the last month or so – ever since that night in the club.

“So… while we’re talking about you and Bones, I need to tell you something about that night I read him.” Cass sat down and gestured to the chair next to her for Sabine to join her. Sabine did so, looking at Cass with apprehension. She didn’t like the hesitancy in Cass’s voice. Cass could see her emotions, the aggressive reds streaming from her.

“I should have mentioned this sooner but I knew this wasn’t going to be an easy conversation to have –”

“What are you talking about? I thought we covered everything from the club,” Sabine asked warily.

“We did…except this. I didn’t lie to you – when I read Bones, I didn’t get any indication that he had telepathic abilities.” Cass took a deep breath. “But what I didn’t mention to you is that I saw a connection between you two. There’s definitely something there…and I think it’s a lifebond.”

Sabine stared at the other telepath slack-jawed before answering.

“That…is not… possible,” she sputtered. “I cannot bond with more than one person. Dinesh was my –”

“Look, I know this seems absurd. But I also know what I saw.” Cass pushed the memory through to Sabine so that she too could see the connection between herself and Bones.

“How? Why did you not tell me sooner?”

“I’m sorry. I knew you’d be upset. And I don’t know how except… maybe what your grandmother told you… maybe the knowledge they had about terran telepaths – maybe it was wrong?”

“It was not wrong. No one I knew ever had multiple bondmates. Most of them did not have one bondmate.” Sabine had a stubborn look on her face that her handler was very familiar with. Cass had known this discussion was going to blow.

“Maybe you were the next step, evolutionarily speaking. You could do things other telepaths around you couldn’t do. And let’s just admit it: their knowledge was, at best, incomplete. Look at the things they did to you – they were supposed to have the best information on how to handle telepaths and they tortured you all –”

“Stop,” Sabine admonished Cass, not wanting to think about what she’d been through; not wanting to accept that what she’d thought her entire life was wrong.

“Look, I know this sucks. But if you could have more than one bondmate, that would make you more similar to modern-day telepaths.”

Sabine looked up at Cass in surprise.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, it’s just that…I mean, some of us end up having more than one imzadi or t’hy’la through our lives – it’s not frequent, but it happens. And maybe it’s the same for you. Maybe Bones is your next bondmate.”

“Cass…I do not want another bondmate. Especially one who is not telepathic – that should not even be conceivable. And even if it is, it is too much to ask of someone who has never experienced telepathy.”

“I’m not telling you to run home and bond with him immediately. And why don’t you give him a say in this?”

“Because he would have no idea what he would be agreeing to. You know that!”

“Yeah, and I know he loves you. You love him. What are you gonna do when the time comes and you can’t avoid bonding with him? How are you gonna get around that?”

“I do not know,” Sabine muttered, burying her head in her hands as though she had a headache. “I was not prepared for any of this.”

“Well, maybe you need to prepare yourself. And maybe we need to consider telling him more….enough so that he’ll be ready for it when or if it happens.”

Sabine looked up at her handler. “Are you serious? You think I should tell him everything?”

“Maybe. Not everything…but enough. You know I wouldn’t condone it in most cases. This is something different. I mean, you’re either going to come to a point where you’ll have to tell him because the bond will be too strong….or…”

“Or what?”

“Or you leave him before it gets to that point.”

Sabine stared at Cass, radiating sorrow, anger, and denial in bands of black, grey, and blue.

“Neither of those is a good choice.”

“You’re gonna need to choose one or the other. And whichever one you choose, I’ll be there to help,” Cass said quietly, trying to push comfort to Sabine. But the other telepath refused.

“You should have told me about this sooner,” she said, her voice thick with accusation.

“I know. I fucked up. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to bring it up –”

“You could have just told me when you talked to me about your read the first time. That seems like a perfectly good time to share this kind of information – as opposed to a month later.” Sabine’s voice dripped with sarcasm and her eyes flashed with displeasure.

Cass sighed. “I know. I shoulda told you then. I just didn’t want to rain on your happiness parade.”

Cass was angry with herself for going soft over these damn Resurrection crew members. They were making her lose her edge. Next thing she knew, she’d probably want to settle down and have a family. She shuddered at the thought. Sabine stared at her friend and her gaze softened.

“He wants me to meet his family over Christmas break. I… I love him. I do not think I can walk away from him…”

“Well then, we better figure out a way to tell him the truth without the Section getting too involved.”

“What if he leaves me?”

“Why would he do a thing like that?”

“Because I have lied to him for months now and maybe he will not like who I really am – what my past really is. Or maybe he will not want to be with an uncontrollable telepath that he has to bond to for life – why would anyone want that?”

“He’d want it because he loves you,” Cass said quietly.

“Love does not mean you want to stay with someone forever. Especially someone who is not what they have claimed to be…”

“You’re too hard on yourself.” Cass wished she could switch off the anguished guilt that Sabine felt every time she thought about her past.

“Not hard enough. He does not even know I cannot have children.” Sabine felt a fresh wave of despondency wash over her as she contemplated just how much she had been hiding from her lover.

“Who says he wants kids, anyway?” Cass knew Bones had a daughter but she had a hard time envisioning him as a father. “He won’t care.”

“You do not know that.”

“Neither do you.” At that the two women stared silently at one another, neither willing to concede ground to the other. Eventually, Cass spoke up again.

“Look, I know this was a lot to drop on you. For now, there’s a bright side: the connection between you two is weak – it could take years to develop to the point of bonding. And maybe it’s not a lifebond at all –”

“If not, then what is it?”

“I don’t know, Sabs. Remember, you’re a more powerful telepath than any I’ve worked with before. There are things about your abilities even we don’t understand. But for now, let me see if I can get you out of winter break training here. Spend the holiday with him. It’ll be good for you.”

Sabine looked at her handler skeptically. She no longer knew what she should do.


	21. Chapter 21

Admiral Marcus replayed the holovid clip for his colleagues in London.

“Gentlemen, as you can see, we have quite an opportunity before us. If she bonds with another, non-telepathic terran, we may end up with two powerful telepaths.”

“I have some questions, Admiral,” one of the women in the conference room replied icily.

“Go on, Commodore Nighy,” he responded, equally cool.

“Is the handler aware that you are recording these meetings?”

“I fail to see the point of your question, Commodore. The handler is there to do exactly what she’s doing – befriend the crew mates and get them to tell her what we need to know. Why does it matter if she is aware of our methods?”

“Because it seems unethical to record a conversation that neither side has given you permission to record.”

“Permission? What do you think this is? We’re not holding children’s hands here, Commodore. This is Section 31. If the handler isn’t aware she’s being recorded, she’s dumber than we thought. Agent Pike has been with us for over fifteen years now. She knows what we do.” Admiral Marcus had no time for frivolous concerns.

“So what happens now?” Special Agent Ross cut in, bored with the argument taking place in front of him.

“What happens now is we let her continue her relationship with the other cadet. In fact, we allow her to spend the holiday off-campus with him. We start tracking him as well and we see what develops.” Marcus had already put trackers on the boyfriend but no one needed to know that.

“Seems reasonable enough to me,” Agent Collins mused and several others in the room shook their heads in agreement. Only Commodore Nighy remained impassive.

“So, we’re all in agreement,” Marcus stated, ignoring Nighy’s frosty glare. “Good. I’ll keep you informed of our progress. Meeting adjourned.”

Cass was informed that her request to allow Sabine to leave campus over the break had been approved. She was surprised the decision had been made so quickly. It made her nervous.

There had never been a question in Cass’s mind that her meetings with the crew members were being recorded. She did indeed know how Section 31 operated. And she was aware that since she’d gone to her uncle for help, she’d been tracked. She didn’t recognize the agents tracking her, but she recognized the Section 31 touches – two bland white men, dressed in nondescript clothing, staying far enough behind her, while still managing to appear at the same bars and clubs as her. It had made her slightly more paranoid. But Cass Pike wasn’t a fool. She was careful about what they discussed and when. Unless Section 31 decided to bring another, stronger telepath in to track her, Cass knew that her best bet was to keep with the script she’d established thus far. If they needed to make changes, she’d deal with it then.

After her weekly meeting with the crew, Cass let Sabine know that she had permission to leave the campus for winter break. Cass said nothing about how the quick turn-around on the request worried her. This was her issue to deal with, not Sabine’s. Besides, the other telepath looked like hell. It was obvious Sabine was still wrestling with Cass’s bombshell from last week. But she did manage to squeeze a thin smile out and thank Cass for her efforts. Christmas break would be upon them in two weeks and Sabine needed as much of that time as possible to make arrangements for the visit to Georgia.


	22. Chapter 22

“Sabs. What a surprise. What can we do for you?” Theo pulled the door to the dorm open so that Sabine could slip in. While he and Oliver were used to visits from the other crew members to request contraband, this was the first time Sabine had darkened their doorstep. The two Anglophones were fond of Sabine but they wondered what exactly she would request from them. The nervousness she was exhibiting made both of them think it wasn’t going to be a simple request.

“Hey, sweetie,” Oliver said with great affection as he hugged her and gave her bisous. “Been a while since we’ve seen you alone.” It was true. Sabine and McCoy had been inseparable and the crew had all teased her about her attractive new shadow. “Where’s that hot doctor of yours tonight?”

“Mmm, I believe he is at the clinic,” she said thoughtfully. The truth was, Sabine wasn’t sure of the whereabouts of her boyfriend. She had been avoiding him since that troubling conversation with Cass. The good thing was, final exams were happening so she was able to use them as an excuse for her sudden absence. That, combined with the fact she’d just told him she could go to Georgia with him, had kept McCoy from worrying too much about her disappearance from his life.

“So why are you here?” Theo asked, getting down to brass tacks. They had their own exams to study for and it was date night. Not that either of them would ever tell Sabine that she’d just interrupted more enjoyable matters.

“I need to know if you can procure a very illegal drug for me within the next two weeks,” she stated, without beating around the bushes.

Theo and Oliver looked at each other. Who knew little Sabine was into drugs? This night was getting more interesting by the second. Suddenly, neither of them minded that she’s interrupted their fun.

“What kind of drug?” Oliver asked, wondering if it would be a psychotropic or something to enhance sexual pleasure. The possibilities were endless.

“Narpholix,” she responded and both men had to do everything in their power not to groan in disappointment. Narpholix, while incredibly addictive and incredibly hard to get, was actually a pretty boring drug to request. All it did was make the user sleep unless it was mixed with something more fun.

“Are you barmy? Why do you need that?” Theo asked gently. “It’s not an easy one to come by,” he added, not wanting her to feel too judged.

“I know. But I am going to Georgia with Leo and I need to ensure I will sleep while I am there – sleep without dreaming.”

“So, no broken noses on this trip?” Oliver teased gently, remembering the incident with Maria.

“Exactly,” Sabine said, relieved that they understood why she needed the drug so badly.

“I don’t know if we can get it in two weeks, but we’ll do our best. And you know it’s dangerous, yeah?” Theo asked.

“Yes, I know. If you can get it cut with dylocine – a 60/40 mix – that would be ideal.”

Oliver wrote down the information down on his PADD. “We’ll see what we can do. Gotta make sure we get fair dinkum,” he assured her.

“How much do I owe you?” she asked, ready to shell out any amount of credits.

“Oh no, bird, this one’s on us,” Theo responded. “The first one is always free.”

“Thank you. You two are the best,” she said in response, hugging first Theo then Oliver. “I will let you get back to date night.” They looked at her in surprise.

“What? Everyone knows Tuesdays are your date night. That is why I came by – I knew you would be here.” She smiled and showed herself out.

“That saucy minx,” Theo exclaimed to Oliver once she’d shut the door.

“Oh stop whinging. Come here, you arse. We don’t have much time to root; I gotta study for my warp core class at some point tonight.”


	23. Chapter 23

“Oh yes, right there!”

“Watch your head, darlin’.” McCoy reached around to place his hand on the back of Sabine’s head before she banged it into the wall.

“Leo…Leo! So good,” she moaned.

“Shhh. You wanna get caught? Keep it down,” he replied, covering her mouth with his own, in part to keep her from making too much noise. But the minute he felt her tongue against his, the kiss shifted from noise prevention to actual passion.

“Sorry but it feels amazing,” she sighed as they broke apart to catch their breath.

“Not too good, right?” He asked, concerned that if he pushed her over the edge, he wouldn’t have time to back away.

“No, not too good. Do not stop yet,” she begged breathlessly.

They were in the supply closet at the clinic. Against all of McCoy’s phobias of germs and his general preference for professionalism, he had his girlfriend’s skirt hiked up to her waist as she balanced precariously on a ledge while he fingered her. It had been a week and a half since he’d seen her and when he realized they had the same clinical shift tonight, he’d decided to risk coming into contact with some ungodly virus in the closet or getting busted by someone else on the staff so that he could spend a few moments of intimacy with her. But damn if this room wasn’t the most uncomfortable in the whole clinic. It was also one of the few rooms with a lock on the door.

Sabine reached for Leo and smashed her lips against his, breathing in the air he exhaled. Their tongues tangled again and she admitted to herself just how much she had missed him in the last 10 days. He rubbed his thumb against her clit and she saw stars.

“I am close,” she warned.

“Want me to stop?” he asked.

“No…almost…not yet…now,” she cried and he pushed away from her, his back against the shelves on the other end of the cramped room. She quickly finished herself off and caught her breath. This had become a science for them. She knew exactly how long she could let him touch her and he knew exactly how long to wait after she orgasmed to wrap her up in his arms and kiss her hard.

“We do you next,” she sighed when he finally relinquished her mouth from his own.

“Yeah. Let’s meet back here during the 1am break,” he replied as he shifted, his pants doing a poor job of hiding his arousal.

“You will be okay till then?” she asked with a wicked smile, pressing herself against him and rubbing against his erection.

“Dammit, woman, you want to get us both suspended?” he growled, only partially kidding.

“Sorry. See you at 1am,”she said sweetly, taking a moment to pull her skirt the rest of the way down and smooth out her unruly hair. That was the good thing about those corkscrew curls – she walked around in a perpetual state of bed head so no one noticed if her hair was actually mussed up from a quickie in the closet. They kissed sweetly and then exited the supply room, each heading in separate directions. While word of their relationship had spread and was regular fodder for the clinic staff, they maintained a professional façade on the shifts they shared. This was the first time McCoy had allowed himself to so much as kiss Sabine while on shift. And even though the nurses loved to watch them on their rounds, looking for any indication they were together, they gave no sign of their affections while on the floor. The only way anyone would know is if they happened to walk by that particular closet on that particular night during their breaks and hear the muffled sounds of pleasure coming from it. Luckily, no one did.

As they returned to the break room from their second outing in the supply closet, McCoy sat down at a table with a lazy grin on his face. Sabine sat down and grabbed her PADD, noticing that there was a new message on it.

_Hey love, we have an early Christmas present for you. Come get it at your convenience. Hugs, Theo and Oliver_

Sabine could barely contain her excitement – they had gotten a hold of some narpholix for her. She really would be able to go to Georgia now and not worry about destroying Leo’s home. The rest of the evening passed in a blur and Sabine was so excited to get the package from Theo and Oliver that she stayed up all night waiting till she could hop over to their dorm in the early morning hours.

“Bugger off, it’s early,” she heard Theo whine from inside the door.

“It is me,” she said softly through the door.

“Sabs?” Oliver answered the door and squinted at Sabine. “Jeez, you couldn’t wait till arvo?”

“Sorry,” she replied sheepishly.

“That’s what we get for sending you a message in the middle of the night. You probably considered showing up here after work, huh?” She nodded at Theo’s assessment and he sighed.

“Get the bloody thing for her,” he said to his partner and Oliver departed for the bedroom, returning with a hypo-shaped box.

“Now look, we didn’t run any tests on this shit so we can’t promise you it’s good,” Oliver started.

“Yeah, love. You need to make sure it’s actually narpholix before you take it,” Theo added.

She opened the box and saw a hypo identical to the one Cass had given her over a month before.

“Thank you, boys! I owe you!”

“Hey, don’t take the piss on this – get that stuff tested before you use it,” Theo warned again.

“I will, I will. You forget, I am a doctor,” she responded.

“Yeah, well, what bloody doctor asks for the most illegal gear out there, huh?”

“Mmmm, thank you both,” she said, giving both sleepy men a quick hug and bisous.

“Alright, get on out of here then,” Oliver said, swatting her away. “Have a good holiday, you hear?”

Sabine practically skipped out of their room and back to her own dorm building. She promised herself she’d bring the hypo with her and test it on her next clinic shift that evening.


	24. Chapter 24

A week later, Sabine met Jim and Leo at the transporter station across from the Academy. All around them, cadets were lugging bags to take back to wherever they were going on Christmas break. Sabine had a small case with her and Jim had a duffle bag thrown over his shoulder while McCoy carried a case similar to Sabine’s.

“I told you we shoulda got here earlier. It’s gonna take hours for us to get to the platform,” McCoy bitched to Jim.

“Relax, Bones. I got this under control,” the other man responded, flashing a devious smile to Sabine.

“Oh no. What are you going to do?” she asked apprehensively. It hadn’t taken long for Sabine to realize that Jim Kirk liked causing trouble even more than he liked chasing beautiful women.

“Me? Why do you assume I’m gonna do something?” he asked her in return, all innocence and blue eyes.

Sabine rolled her eyes in response and sat down on a bench to wait their turn at the transporter. In truth, transporters still made her incredibly nervous and she didn’t mind waiting.

There was a commotion at one end of the station and suddenly, alarms were going off and everyone was exiting. Sabine and McCoy jumped up to grab their bags and leave along with everyone else but Jim blocked their way.

“Oh no, we stay here,” he said with a huge grin.

“What the – Jim, if you get us killed, I swear, I’ll come back to life and bring you back too, just so I can kill you again,” McCoy threatened.

“No one’s dying. It’s a fake alarm. But we’re the only ones who know that. Now come on – we got some transporting to do,” Jim said jovially as he moved against the crowd, towards the platforms.

Sabine looked at McCoy and he shrugged his shoulders at her. They reluctantly made their way to where Jim was, at the edge of the platform. Once there, they saw that he was talking to a younger cadet, instructing the cadet on the exact coordinates for McCoy’s home station.

“Oh Jim, you dragged a first-year into this?” Sabine asked dolefully, her heart breaking for the world of trouble the poor cadet was going to be in when he got caught.

“I am not a first-year cadet,” the young man replied indignantly, his Russian accent thick.

“Bones, Sabs, meet Pavel Chekov, one of the smartest cadets I know,” Jim said proudly.

McCoy was too busy grumbling to take much note of the curly-haired young man. Meanwhile, Sabine nodded to him.

“I hope you do not get caught,” she said.

“Don’t vorry! Dis plan is foolproof,” he replied. “Now get on ze platform so we can get you out of here,” he ordered them.

“Thanks, Chekov. I owe you one,” Jim said appreciatively as he got next to Sabine on the platform. Sabine looked over at McCoy and saw that he looked about as thrilled as she felt to be transporting.

“We will be okay,” she said to him. “This will be ov –”

She didn’t even have a chance to finish her sentence before they were surrounded by bright lights and the distinctive whir of the transporter beam.

And then, they were in the station closest to McCoy’s house. Sabine took a moment to get her bearings. McCoy crossed the platform over to Jim.

“I swear, if this vacation gets cut short because of whatever you just pulled back there –”

“Chill out, Bones. You’re gonna run out of threats if you keep this up,” Jim said happily, ignoring the ire with which both his companions were looking at him. He stepped off the platform with his bag and turned to the other two.

“Well, you comin’ or what?”

McCoy looked over at Sabine and she shook her head. She reached over and grabbed his hand.

“Christ on a cracker, it’ll be a whole week of this,” he mumbled as they descended from the platform together.

“I heard that,” Jim called out from in front.

“Meant for you to hear it, you jackass.”

Sabine smiled. Maybe by day five, she’d be ready to kill both men but right now, she was enjoying the banter as they made their way outside. She was where she wanted to be.

In the hovercab on the way to McCoy’s house, Sabine sat with her eyes glued to the scenery. So much of it reminded her of the handful of visits to John’s house that she and Dinesh had made, several lifetimes ago. She had always loved the American south, with its humid heat, lush vegetation, and old plantations. She knew she shouldn’t like what those homes represented – somewhere back in her father’s lineage were the names of those who had been ripped from their homes in Africa to be sold as slaves in this place. Yet in spite of that, she remembered a summer evening on the porch of John’s home, drinking lemonade with his family, Dinesh right next to her, his arm slung around her shoulders. John’s mother had treated them like family, had hugged her tight before they returned to the Peacekeepers, had whispered to her to be safe, to keep an eye out on her boys. She’d done the best she could. Had even managed to keep John alive. Sabine pinched the bridge of her nose, refusing to let old memories ruin this trip.

“Hey darlin’, like what you see?” Leo asked her softly while Jim hopped over the seat and began fiddling with the dials in the front of the car.

“I do,” she replied, settling into his shoulder, her arm resting in the crook of his arm.

“Jim, if you wreck this thing –”

“Jesus, Bones, seriously. I’m just looking for the radio.” Neither of them believed him but they didn’t care as they stared out the window and the streets became less crowded, more residential. The car turned down a wide driveway lined with large magnolia trees. They drove a half-mile further when Leo nudged Sabine.

“There it is,” he said reverently.

There it was indeed. The large white plantation beckoned to them with its stately columns and black shutters. If Sabine ignored the driverless vehicle which floated above the road and stopped to let them out, she could convince herself she was in a different era. Her own, perhaps. Or one even earlier than that.

“Leo,” she gasped as she got out of the hovercab, “it’s stunning!”

“You like it?” he asked.

“Mmmm, yes. It’s breathtaking.”

“Been in the family for centuries now.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Jim interrupted, having heard the spiel before. “Before the American Civil War, blah blah. Your family had slaves. Not the greatest way to become wealthy.”

Leo looked askance at Jim and then looked at Sabine with something like shame in his eyes.

“We did own slaves before the Civil War. And we freed them before the war,” he said pointedly to Jim. “Also, that was about 400 years ago, not last week.”

“Still on the wrong side of history,” Jim said simply, as though that resolved everything.

“Lots of people in the South were on the wrong side of history,” Sabine replied thoughtfully, finally interrupting the two men. “But most of them did not manage to keep their homes, certainly not during WWIII.” Sabine thought wistfully of John’s family home and how it had been decimated shortly after they’d jumped for the last time. John had been back to the site once, which was now a field with encroaching forest on three sides.

“She did take some damage during the last world war,” McCoy responded. “That wing of the house was rebuilt.” He pointed to the left side of the sprawling manse.

“Mmm, I think it is a lovely home. Whatever its history, the McCoys are very nice to allow us to stay here,” she said specifically to Jim.

“Well, yeah. They’re alright. Wait till you meet Mama McCoy,” Jim added, bouncing up the stairs on the wide porch. Ceiling fans along the top kept it cool and there were matching porch swings on each end.

“Is that my son and Jim Kirk I hear out there, making all that noise?” rang a woman’s voice from one of the open windows. Within a moment, the front door opened and Sabine found herself face to face with Mrs. Eleanora McCoy.

“And you must be Sabine. Hello, sweetheart,” the older woman said, engulfing Sabine in a hug that smelled like honey and lavender, and reminded her so much of her own mother, of her grandmother, of Dinesh’s mother, of John’s mother that she couldn’t keep tears from stinging her eyes. She hugged the other woman back tightly, remembering how much comfort she’d received from strong women in her past. Realizing that she had perhaps allowed the hug to go on too long, she pulled away, blushing.

“Hello, Mrs. McCoy,” she choked out. She swiped her eyes quickly, hoping no one noticed the wetness on her lashes.

“Nonsense darlin’, don’t call me Mrs. McCoy,” Mrs. McCoy responded, “Call me Eleanora. Or be like this one,” she pointed to Jim, “and call me Mama.” With that, Eleanora cupped Sabine’s face in one hand.

“Look at you,” she said softly to the younger woman. “You’re even prettier than Leonard led me to believe.”

Sabine’s blush deepened. “Thank you, Mrs – I mean, Eleanora. We are so happy to be here. Thank you for letting Jim and I stay with you.”

“It’s my fondest pleasure,” Mrs. McCoy responded, turning to her son who had remained silent up till that point.

“Mama,” he said to her, opening his arms to hug the older woman.

“Leonard,” she replied, rubbing her son’s back as he gave her a bear hug. “How are you, my boy?”

“Glad to be home for a little bit.”

“We’re so happy to have you back here. I’ve already got a list a mile long of things to keep you busy while you’re here – that goes for you too, James,” she noted as the other cadet tried to slink past her and into the house.

“Aw, Mama, come on. No chores,” Jim whined with a smile.

“It builds character, young man,” she replied with her own mischievous smile.

“Well, I’ve got enough character for all of us so I’ll supervise Bones while he gets everything done,” Jim joked.

Sabine laughed with the others and noted how much like his mother Leo looked. He had her eyes and smile. And watching him with his mother, offering to carry everything into the house – it did something to Sabine’s heart. She hadn’t expected to be this emotional meeting Leo’s family.

The two men took all the bags and Mrs. McCoy directed Leo to which room he should leave Sabine’s. She watched them head inside, as they bickered with one another and then turned back to Sabine.

“My dear,” she said softly, putting her arm around the younger woman and pulling her onto one of the porch swings. “I hope you don’t mind my bluntness, but you have some of the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen.”

“I am so sorry. I did not mean to get teary. You just reminded me so much of my own mother –”

“That’s not what I’m talking about, sweetheart. Everyone gets a little emotional around the holidays. No, I see something more in your eyes. Something deeper. You’ve known true despair.”

She brushed a curl away from Sabine’s cheek. Despite her natural inclination to avoid any kind of personal discussion or contact, especially with a woman who was, for all intents and purposes, a stranger, Sabine felt herself relax and rested her head on the other woman’s shoulder while they gently swayed back and forth.

“I don’t mean to be a busybody. You’re under no obligation to tell me a thing. Just know that I’m here for you if you need me. My son wouldn’t fall for just anyone, after all. You have to be pretty special for him to bring you here.”

“Your son is the special one. I am so lucky to have met him,” Sabine replied, lulled into a deep sense of calm by the gentle rocking of the swing and that hypnotic smell which made her believe if she closed her eyes, it would be her own mother sitting next to her, with her arm around Sabine.

“He’s a good egg, that Leonard,” Eleanora agreed. “Don’t know where he got it from – his father and I were both ornery as rattlesnakes.”

Sabine smiled at his mother. “I do not believe you for a second,” she responded. “You are much too kind to be ornery.”

“Oh my sweet summer child. You don’t have four children and not become just a bit ornery.”

“I will take your word for it,” Sabine replied and the two women fell silent, swinging and enjoying the sounds of the cicadas as the sun beat down from above. Leo came back out to the porch, followed by Jim.

“Shoulda known you’d be right where we left ya,” Leo stated, his accent already thicker just minutes after returning. “Mama, you mind if we take Sabine on a tour of the place?”

“Not at all,” Eleanora replied. “Dinner’s at sunset so make sure y’all are back in time.” She gave Sabine a final squeeze and pulled her arm away from Sabine’s shoulders as she stopped the swing and stood.

“Are you sure you do not need any help?” Sabine asked, wanting to make sure she didn’t just run off and leave the woman of the house alone to take care of everything.

“Don’t you worry about me. I’ll get you in the kitchen at some point over the next week but right now, you enjoy a nice walk around the property,” Eleanora answered, smiling warmly at Sabine.

The three cadets took off down the porch steps and Jim looked back at Sabine. “I don’t know, Bones. I think your mom just stole your girlfriend’s heart,” he teased.

“It’s to be expected. She’s probably a better catch,” Leo replied, taking Sabine’s hand in his and smiling down at her. “She loves having people around the house. And I think she likes you more than this idiot,” he joked, pointing his thumb at Jim.

Jim pouted. “Not fair. I was her favorite,” he complained.

“I think she has room for all of us to be favorites,” Sabine said diplomatically.

Jim and Leo took her around the estate, passing the horse barn, the swimming hole, the fields of crops, and the peach tree grove before arriving back at the house just as the sun was setting. Even from outside, they could smell Eleanora’s homemade dinner – fried chicken and mashed potatoes with biscuits and corn on the cob. Sabine told herself she’d have to run every morning if she wanted her clothes to still fit by the end of the week. Dinner was a blur of laughter as Eleanora caught up with the hijinks Jim had successfully pulled off and the outlandish injuries Leo and Sabine had tended to at the clinic. Before she knew it, Sabine felt her eyes grow heavy.

“This has been delightful but I think y’all need to get some sleep,” Eleanora announced as they all sipped on a post-dinner cordial. “Some people can hardly keep their eyes open,” she said, kicking Leo under the table as his head drooped to the side.

“Okay, okay. Bedtime. Come on, darlin’, I’ll show ya where you’re staying,” he said to Sabine, offering his hand.

“But the dishes,” she protested, intending to stay and help wash the fine china they had eaten off of.

“I’ll get the dishes,” Jim offered. “Me and Mama have some catching up to do,” he added, winking at Eleanora like she was one of his many campus conquests.

“Oh you,” Eleanora replied, clearly enjoying Jim’s cheekiness. “Now you two go on and get some shut-eye,” she insisted to the lovebirds. Sabine acquiesced and took Leo’s hand so he could lead her upstairs.

“So this is your room,” he said, opening the door to a gorgeous bedroom filled with antique mahogany furniture. “Jim’s over there,” he pointed to the door across the hallway from hers, “and I’m right here.” His door was next to hers.

“There’s a bathroom between our rooms – we each have a door to it. I figured I’d rather share with you than Jim,” he said, smiling.

She laughed. “Are you sure? I could trade rooms so the two of you can be closer.”

“No! Absolutely not. I don’t need to be any closer to Jim Kirk than I already am,” he replied, pulling her to him.

“Mmmm, I suppose we can share for a week,” she murmured, letting him gently back her into the room she’d be staying in. He shut the door behind them. Once inside, McCoy kissed Sabine zealously, his hands all over her body. She pulled him to the bed and they tumbled onto it together, Leo laughing loudly while Sabine tried to conceal her giggles.

“Shhh, I do not want your mother to hear us,” Sabine admonished Leo as he continued to laugh and peeled his own shirt off. He rolled Sabine over so that she was on top of him.

“Darlin’, I’m 37 years old. I’m guessing my mom knows exactly what we’re doing up here. And she can’t hear us anyway,” he assured his girlfriend.

“Be that as it may, Jim might overhear us and then we will never hear the end of it,” she retorted, allowing him to take her shirt off.

“Then we’ll have to be quiet,” he grinned, tickling her toes. She laughed and he gave her a look of mock anger. “Shhhhhh!”

“You asshole,” she said between giggles as he expanded his tickling to her stomach.

Later, Leo ran to his room and brought back a container of sleeping pills.

“I brought these for you,” he said, handing her the bottle of pills.

“Oh…thank you,” Sabine was touched that he’d remembered and decided it best not to tell him she’d brought her own sleep remedy. She was pretty sure he’d disapprove of it if he knew.

“If these don’t work tonight, let me know. I can always run to the hospital at Emory tomorrow and come up with something else.”

“Mmm, these should be fine.”

After Leo retired to his room and Sabine had changed into her pjs, cleaned her face, and brushed her teeth, she looked at the bottle of pills and debated whether she should just take them instead. But then she looked around that beautiful room and imagined what might happen if the pills proved to be ineffective. She didn’t want to explain to Eleanora that she had destroyed any bit of that lovely furniture, or the delicate vases and lamps scattered throughout, because she couldn’t handle a few nightmares. Instead, she pulled the hypospray of narpholix out of her bag. When she had scanned it with a tricorder during her last shift at the clinic, the results had come back just as expected – a 60/40 blend of narpholix and dylocine. She set the dosage for one shot and jabbed it into her neck, ready for the sweet peace of a dreamless night.

Four hours later, Sabine was still wide awake. Her heart was racing and she was sure something was horribly wrong with the drug she’d taken. Her neck was burning where she’d injected the dosage. But even scarier was the fact that she had no voice and couldn’t move. She felt paralyzed. She had already tried screaming to Leo and Jim but no sound had left her throat. She couldn’t feel anything below the burn on her neck besides her pounding heart. Every time she tried to move an arm or a leg, nothing happened. She was terrified, worried that she would black out and no one would find her till morning. To keep that from happening, she thought of every song she could, repeating the lyrics in her head, stopping only to try crying out to the men every few minutes.

In the early morning, after a sleepless night of terror and increasing numbness, she heard a knock on her door. At some point, the numbness has moved up beyond her neck. She could barely feel her face.

“Hey Sabs,” she heard Jim call out softly. “Can I come in?” He didn’t wait for an answer, entering the room quietly and flipping on a light by the door. “Don’t tell Bones but I forgot my toothpaste – can I borr –”

Jim stopped short, realizing there was something wrong with the immobile woman in her bed, staring up at the ceiling with unblinking eyes.

“Sabs! Sabs, are you okay?” He rushed over to her and lifted her up. She was like a furnace, uncomfortably hot to the touch. He looked at her but she couldn’t meet his gaze unless he got right in front of her. Silently, she mouthed “Help,” to him over and over.

“Okay, hold on. I’ll be right back,” he told her. He stepped into their shared bathroom and she could hear him open the door to the other side.

“Bones, Bones, wake up,” Jim yelled, the panic in his voice making her even more scared. Leo grunted something in response and she heard Jim tell him to get into her room immediately. Sabine felt like she couldn’t breathe.

She didn’t feel the bed shift beneath her as Leo rushed to her side and sat down next to her. She could hear him reach into his med kit and she desperately wanted to tell him what was wrong.

“Darlin’, what happened?” he asked even though she couldn’t respond. She did her best to form the word narpholix but she was losing the ability to move her mouth.

And then everything went black.


	25. Chapter 25

Sabine woke up in a dark room, different from the one she’d blacked out in. She could feel her face. Could feel her body once more. She tentatively moved her arm and confirmed she wasn’t paralyzed.

“So you can move now,” came a hardened voice out from the corner of the room closest to her. She tried to focus her eyes on where the voice was coming from. Sabine propped herself up in the bed to get a better look.

“Don’t. Stop moving. That crap is still in your system,” the same angry voice told her. Leo. It was Leo and he was furious. He advanced out of the shadows to the side of her bed, standing over her, his eyes flashing.

“Can you speak?” he asked harshly.

She tested her voice out. “Ye…Yes,” she said hoarsely.

“Good. You won’t lose your vocal cords after all. Care to tell me what the fuck you were doing with narpholix in your bag?” he spat out.

“Leo –” she began.

“Don’t ‘Leo’ me. I want answers. You almost died in there.”

“I did not know,” she whispered, her throat on fire. Judging from how sore it was, she posited that she had thrown up several times. She had no memory of it. “I thought it was a 60/40 blend of narpholix and dylocine. Just enough to keep me asleep but not dreaming…”

“How the hell did you even know that mix would work?”

“Because Cass had –”

“You got this from Cass? I’ll kill her,” he growled.

“No, not this. I got this one from Theo and Oliver. But I checked it before we left – scanned it with a medical tricorder.” Talking was torture.

“Goddammit, Sabine. How much of this shit have you done? You think a scan is enough to weed out a bad batch? I gave you a sleep solution and I was ready to provide others if it didn’t work. You didn’t need to do this. You didn’t need to bring illegal substances into my childhood home,” his voice grew angrier as he went on.

“I am so sorry,” she gasped, exhausted at the effort of speaking.

“Sorry doesn’t make up for almost dying, sweetheart.” She’d never heard the word ‘sweetheart’ sound so venomous.

“Jim,” he barked, and the other cadet came into the room. “Watch her while I’m gone. She doesn’t leave your sight, you understand me?” Jim nodded, no wise cracks this time.

“And you,” he said turning to Sabine with a face of stone. “Does your team of doctors and faculty know you’ve been using this? Was this a part of your sleep studies?”

She shook her head, pained by the movement but afraid to show any weakness as long as he was so angry with her.

He spun on his heel, her hypospray in his hand. She heard him go down the stairs and heard the front door slam.

“What time is it?” she asked Jim, who was looking at her with pity.

“It’s only 10am. He managed to get you stabilized about an hour after you passed out. You’ve only been out about four hours.”

“Where is Eleanora?”

“She has a funny way of disappearing sometimes. I don’t know where she is,” he said softly, coming around to her side of the bed and sitting by her.

“What were you thinking?”

“I wanted to sleep. Sleep without having nightmares where I make everything in the room levitate and end up breaking things. The narpholix mix has worked for me before so I took it, thinking it would work this time. I just wanted to be normal for a week.”

“You could’ve died.”

“I did not mean for that to happen.”

“I’ve never seen him like that before. You scared the shit outta both of us.”

True to his promise to Leo, Jim stayed by Sabine’s side and when she was ready to get up, he helped her back into her room, leaving only to let her change. After she was dressed, they went downstairs and out onto the back porch, where, of course, there were more porch swings. For an hour or so, they peeled and ate clementines, swung on the swing, and talked about nothing important, avoiding the topic that loomed so heavy over her – what McCoy would do when he got back. Eleanora showed up from the fields and greeted them both companionably. Sabine wondered how much the older woman knew about what had happened.

After a while, Jim pulled her off the porch swing and they walked down to the swimming hole together. They sat on the old wooden pier, barely wide enough for the both of them to sit side by side. It was too cold to splash their feet in the water so they skipped stones instead.

“Do you think he will make me leave?” she asked Jim, finally ready to discuss what she might face upon her boyfriend’s return.

“I don’t know. I think he’s just angry because he cares so much about you. I don’t think he’ll send you back.”

“Have you ever seen him that angry?”

“Not exactly. I’ve heard him fight with Jocelyn over the comm before. It was pretty close to that.”

“That is not very reassuring. I do not want to drive him to the same behaviors,” she sighed.

“Where do you think he is?” Sabine asked after they lapsed back into silence.

“Who knows? He didn’t say anything to me about taking off when we were waiting for you to wake up.”

After a little more conversation, they walked back to the house. As they were coming around the front of the house, they saw Leo returning in an old pick-up hovertruck. He stalked into the house, ignoring both of them.

“Still mad,” Sabine observed quietly.

“Give it time,” Jim replied, throwing his arm around her shoulders. “He’ll come around. He always does. He’s probably still freaked out by how blue you turned after you passed out.”

Sabine felt horrible for putting both Jim and Leo through that. She didn’t know what she could do to make it up to either of them. For his part, Jim seemed unruffled and stayed by her side the rest of the day. That evening, he gave up his patrol to let Sabine help Eleanora in the kitchen as she prepared dinner.

“So tell me, dear, do you like cooking?”

“I do,” Sabine answered truthfully, still half-waiting for Mrs. McCoy to send her on her way for having frightened and upset her son. But if Eleanora suspected anything was amiss, she kept her suspicions to herself.

Sabine was making the biscuits, following the recipe that Eleanora would give her orally.

“A pinch of salt.” 

“A few shakes of flour.” 

“Be generous with the butter.”

Sabine’s heart churned as she realized Eleanora even cooked the same way her mother had – with recipes retained in the mind and perfected from experience, rather than precise measurements.

“What was your favorite thing to make at holiday time,” the older woman asked her gently.

“We would make…hmmm, we called them croissants. Like a flaky bun. And sometimes we would add bars of chocolate to them. We called those pain au chocolat,” Sabine said fondly, remembering the Christmases of her childhood, baking with her mother and grandmother.

“Do you think you could make them now, if you tried?”

“Probably? It has been so long…”

“Let’s run to the store in the morning and pick up whatever you need. I love learning new recipes,” Eleanora said happily, oblivious to the angst swirling inside Sabine. She wasn’t even sure she’d be there in the morning. But she agreed anyway, hoping with all her heart that Leo would forgive her.

Dinner was an awkward affair. It was clear that Leo had not gotten over it yet and he barely spoke a word throughout the entire meal. Jim did his best to carry the conversation and make it seem like everything was fine. Sabine did her best to not fall apart. Eleanora seemed oblivious to any strife. After dinner, she helped Mrs. McCoy clean up, dreading the return to her room. But eventually, every plate was cleaned and dried and she had no choice but to mount the stairs. To her relief, both Jim’s and Leo’s doors were closed. She slipped quietly into her own room and prepared for bed, doing her best to make as little sound as she could. As she was turning down the covers, she heard a knock at her door.

“Come in,” she called out, expecting to see Jim asking for toothpaste. But instead it was Leo. He had his med kit in his hand. She stared at him, unsure what to say and he walked to her briskly.

“Tilt your head to the side,” he said, in a voice she’d heard him use with especially difficult patients – cold and impersonal. She did as he said, pulling her hair away from her neck. He used an antiseptic wipe to clean the area next to where she had administered her hypo last night. The injection point was still puffy and red. His fingers lingered on it a moment and she winced, but said nothing.

“This is to combat whatever remains in your system of the narpholix mix,” he said curtly. She felt the hypospray against her neck and remembered all the times patients, and Jim, had complained about how hard he jabbed them. She braced herself for a similar jab but instead felt just a slight pressure as the spray was injected. He used his hand to straighten her head and then pushed it lightly so that the other side of her neck was exposed, this time brushing her hair out of the way himself.

“And this is to help you sleep tonight. I have 5 more doses of this and I’ll administer one to you every night for the rest of the trip, okay?”

She turned and looked at him in surprise and he avoided her gaze, gently turning her back around, tilting her head again, and placing the hypo against her neck. Again, his delivery was soft. He straightened her head and turned her around to face him.

“If you pull a stunt like that again –” he began, his voice raw and his eyes burning into hers.

“I promise, I never will. Leo, I am so sorry,” she said, her voice cracking.

He pulled her into his arms tightly. His lips crushed hers as he kissed her hungrily. After a minute he loosened his grip, both on her body and her mouth.

“I thought you would send me back to the Academy,” she said in a daze.

“Don’t think I didn’t consider it,” he said gruffly, his hands firm on her lower back.

He took her mouth with his possessively, kissing her hard. His tongue was forceful, pressing against hers, not letting her maneuver to kiss him back. She could feel the stubble on his face, realized he hadn’t had a chance to shave that morning. It felt abrasive against her skin but she liked it; liked the mild discomfort as his chin rubbed against hers and his prickly cheeks scraped her own. Sabine let him dominate her, let him push her onto the bed and cover her body with the full weight of his, let him grab her hands and confine them in his own, above her head. She could feel him hard against her thigh but he wouldn’t move so that she could rub against him. Right now, she was his for the taking and he did not want her competing for pleasure. She complied, letting him kiss her viciously, letting him pin her down to the mattress. He released her hands and tugged at her clothes, fondled her roughly. But he didn’t try to pleasure her. She decided she should make the attempt on him. So she began to fight him, pushing against him so that she could reach his cock and rub it. He swatted her hands away but she continued to struggle with him and finally he yielded, letting her grab him and stroke. Taking his clothes off was an ordeal. Every step of the way, he dueled with her, made her work for what she wanted.

Getting him to roll over so that she could straddle him was another fierce battle. She won through sheer perseverance. Sabine caught her breath once she was finally atop him and even then, he grabbed her hair roughly and pulled her face to his, assaulting her mouth with his own once more. She bit his lip to get him to let go of her. At some point, this had become a game. A dangerous one, if the look in his eyes was to be trusted, but a game nonetheless. They both knew what they were after. He wanted to make her pay and she wanted to pay. But because she wanted it, he wasn’t going to let it happen easily.

McCoy wasn’t interested in kisses or build-up and she sensed his impatience so she bypassed any foreplay and took the length of his erect dick in her mouth. His hands were in her hair again, pulling it hard; she liked the pain. He thrust his cock forcibly and repeatedly into her mouth and she realized that this was what people meant when they talked about being mouth-fucked. She couldn’t breathe but she remained engaged and encouraged him to continue with moans and hums. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes as he thrust deep enough to trigger her gag reflex. Still, she persisted, not hating what was happening. If anything, his belligerent behavior was turning her on. He didn’t warn her when he was about to come but she knew, had been with him enough to feel the difference as his thrusts became more erratic. She swallowed and cleaned him before pulling away, resting her head on the sheets next to his hips.


	26. Chapter 26

Now that McCoy had been satiated, he felt his animalistic anger subsiding. He looked down at the woman lying next to his lower half, saw that she was catching her breath, not an unusual activity for her after what she’d just done, but he worried he had been too violent with her, pushed her too hard. He caressed the top of her head and she glanced up at him, a look of love in her green eyes.

“Hey,” he said softly.

He could get lost in those eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, making her normally olive skin look even darker. He brushed his finger over the freckles that scattered along her nose and cheeks. Because of her background, Sabine was a mix of features that shouldn’t have worked so well together but somehow did. Her copper hair color, green eyes, and freckles spoke to the European side of her family, but her darker skin color, curliness of her hair, and fullness of her lips came from the African side. She was striking, in a way McCoy had never noticed in another terran. He wondered how he had been so oblivious to her beauty before that first night in the clinic.

“Hey yourself,” she replied, shifting herself upwards so that their faces aligned. They rolled to their sides, facing one another.

“Do you feel better?” she asked him, reaching out and brushing his hair away from his forehead.

“I could – and should – ask you the same thing. You feelin’ alright? I wasn’t too hard on ya?”

“Mmmm, I feel good. I liked it. I have not seen that side of you before.”

“Maybe that’s for the best,” he murmured, taking her chin in his hand and kissing her unhurriedly.

“I do not know about that,” she responded after the kiss ended. “I might enjoy a little more aggression in the bedroom.” She smiled wickedly at him.

He moved closer to her and pushed her shoulder down so that she was horizontal on the mattress then straddled her, grabbing her hands as she reached for him. He pinned each hand down at her side.

“So you like it a little rough?” he asked, his voice thick with lust.

“Sometimes,” she replied, arching her back in an effort to bring them closer together. He teased her, moving just out of range and she pouted at him.

“I can give you rough,” he replied, bending down to take one of her already pebbled nipples in his mouth. After sucking on it a moment, and hearing her contented sigh, he bit down – not too hard, but enough to elicit a cry from her. He raised his head to hers and kissed her callously, fusing his mouth to hers and refusing to let her catch her breath. She arched towards him again, her breasts against his chest. He let go of her hands and she wound them around his back. Through the gloves, he could feel her digging her nails into him. She bit his shoulder once he finally yielded her mouth.

They had been intimate on numerous occasions but tonight was different. He’d been coarse with her, practically used her like a whore in a brothel, and she’d enjoyed it. Now they were at it again, tangling with one another somewhere between pleasure and pain. He didn’t want to hurt her but she welcomed every bite, slap, and tight grasp he made. Their bodies pushed against one another repeatedly and the glint in her eyes freed something in him. He wanted her. More than he’d ever wanted anything. He knew he couldn’t have her – she would never agree to it and even if she did, he didn’t think he was ready for a full telepathic intrusion. But what if he could make her come? Would she let him be the one to draw out her sighs of complete pleasure? Surely the telepathic assault wouldn’t be as cumbersome if she was prepared when she climaxed. Not to mention the telepathy wouldn’t be as strong if they didn’t engage in penetrative sex. His break-time readings had told him as much, though he was still unsure how well her trainings were going and if she fit the standards for other telepaths. The only way to know for sure was to ask. His fingers were already inside her and she was twisting against him, her low moans music to his ears.

“I wanna make you come,” he whispered against her ear, nipping her earlobe.

“We should not,” she breathed. He could hear the waver in her voice.

“Please,” he implored, his mouth on her neck, sucking the tender muscles just above her clavicle.

“It will hurt. I cannot block everything,” she panted, again curving into him as he stroked her with two fingers from inside.

“It’s worth it. Let me pleasure you to completion,” he said, his voice low and sensual. He continued to thrust into her with his fingers, going deeper in a rhythmic motion, feeling for that bump on her inner wall that would send her into convulsions.

She cried against him, her mouth on his shoulder.

“Leo,” she whimpered as his thumb waged a fresh attack on her swollen clitoris. He was still alternating between fingering her and rubbing her bud and she knew he wouldn’t push her to orgasm until she gave her permission. But impatience was building on both sides.

“It will not be easy, the aftermath,” she forced out, trying to give him one more chance to change his mind. “Even sharing just thoughts and feelings can be excruciating.” It took everything in her to get the sentences out. All she wanted was to surrender to him.

“Doesn’t matter,” he rumbled, pulling his mouth away from her breast and meeting her stare with his hazel eyes. “I’ll suffer a little pain for you.”

“Are you sure?” she asked and he knew he had won what he wanted.

“God, yes,” he replied, taking her nipple back into his mouth and suckling fervently.

“Then do it,” she said, her mind too besotted with desire and craving to think coherently about the risk they were about to take. She knew she’d have to block their memories from one another and she felt confident she could do that. They would feel each other’s emotions, hear each other’s thoughts. She knew what that felt like, how disconcerting it would be. Caught up in the throes of passion, she hadn’t explained to Leo exactly how devastating it could feel. But even if she did, he’d insist he could handle it. They were both single-minded in their goal. The impending pain she wrote off as a minor payment for the bliss she was about to experience. She had wanted this for so long – since their first date, she had imagined what it would be like for him to make her climax.

McCoy dipped his head down, trailed his mouth along her smooth stomach. He was going to draw this out. He withdrew his fingers and she grabbed his hand in hers, brought his two fingers to her lips and sucked them sweetly as he looked on in awe.

“Holy Hell,” he mumbled, and for a split second, he considered taking her right then and there but that wasn’t what she’d agreed to and he knew it. Instead he pulled his hand away once she had finished and grabbed her waist. He lowered his head to kiss and nip her inner thighs, first the right, then the left. McCoy moved closer to her center, then away, back to her thighs, teasing her and drawing a soft curse from her lips. But he wanted Sabine too much to play for long. He rested her toned legs over his shoulders and she crossed them behind his back. He then began to kiss and lick her clit, sucking gently as she moved against him, a string of incomprehensible sounds tumbling out of her. When he finally thrust his tongue inside her, she cried his name out and pushed herself against his mouth, writhing in ecstasy. She was so close, he could feel it. He returned to sucking her clit and shoved his index and middle fingers deep inside her, massaging her walls. He found the spot and stroked it.

“Leo,” she mewled. “J’arrive!”

He didn’t understand the words but he knew what she was saying. He could feel it, could feel her body trembling, her cunt clench and spasm around his fingers. He had finally done it; he’d made her come.

His pleasure was short lived.

It hurt, oh God, it hurt so much trying to block memories while simultaneously being flooded with his thoughts and emotions. Sabine was dizzy with pain and forgot to keep breathing because she was so distracted by the waves of aching. So many emotions – so much love, but also hurt and lingering anger over her brush with death; then there was confusion and fear as her emotions flooded him. His thoughts were like drums in her head. He was shocked that they were both experiencing so many of each other’s feelings. Leo recoiled from her and she finally took a deep breath, filling her lungs with precious oxygen. Her vision clouded as the pain swept through her and then she regained her sight. The intensity subsided enough for her to look over at Leo.

He looked as miserable as she felt. How had she forgotten this? Maybe because it had been years since she and Dinesh had been here, uncertain teenagers clinging to one another in pain and bewilderment after their first time. But there had been the one-night stand with John – more recent – just after Dinesh died. That was when she had realized it would be like this with every partner – it hadn’t just been a result of Dinesh being telepathic as well. No, she would take over anyone after climax and it wasn’t until Cass had started working with her that she’d learned she could control it if she worked hard enough.

McCoy was clutching his head, shaking it back and forth.

“Stop thinking,” he mumbled. “It’s too much.”

“I do not think I can block my thoughts,” she responded. “It is hard enough to block everything else.” But she tried anyway in an effort to ease his pain. She had been through this before; he had not. She needed to be his guide and do what she could to soften the blows.

The pain of holding so much back felt like white hot pokers in her brain and she sobbed quietly.

“Your nose,” he said in a penitent voice. “It’s bleeding.” He grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and handed it to her.

“I know,” she replied shakily. “Happens when I am overwhelmed.”

She stuffed the tissue in her nose, knowing the blood was flowing thick and fast. She could feel the headache behind her eyes, throbbing in beat with the blood rushing through her. She held out her hand wordlessly for more tissues and he handed the box to her.

“You’re blocking your thoughts,” he observed, abashed, aware of the fact that he could no longer hear her in his head. She’d been thinking in her own language and the fact that he could understand it had created pandemonium in his brain; he’d been trying to sort through her thoughts and his at the same time – determine which thoughts belonged to whom – and it had been harrowing. But now she was bleeding because she’d taken on too much for him. He could feel the pain she was putting herself in to protect him.

“Sabine, stop,” he pleaded, reaching out to touch her face. “You don’t have to block the thoughts. I can do this.”

“It… is… fine,” she said sluggishly through the torment. “I want… to help.”

“Don’t,” he beseeched. He should have never asked her to stop thinking.

Sabine threw her feet over the side of the bed and stood up, wobbling for a moment before trusting herself to walk. She went to the bathroom to clean her face in the sink, tasting the iron from the blood trickling down to her lip. After, she threw her head forward and pinched her nose shut, hoping to stop the bleeding. And the entire damn time, his thoughts and feelings rolled around inside her, crowding her own emotions and ideas to the periphery. God, she was so tired. It was the drug. Leo had given her something to help her sleep. Only now, she needed to keep herself awake till the connection faded. She banged the sink counter with her fists in impatience and exasperation. In her pique, she didn’t hear Leo come into the bathroom, only felt his arms encircle her as her vision was once more obscured, this time by tears of frustration.

“Stop holding back your thoughts,” he murmured. “Feeling your pain is worse than hearing you inside my head.”

McCoy hadn’t realized this was what he’d get when she orgasmed – he had thought it would bring them closer together; he’d be able to show her how much he loved her. He didn’t know you couldn’t pick and choose emotions when the floodgates broke. She wept in his arms and finally conceded, letting her thoughts slip through to him because the burning ache was too much.

She worried that she’d be sick. That delicious, if awkward, dinner now roiled and pitched in her stomach. Sabine slid down to the floor, curled up against the bathroom cabinet and McCoy sank down with her, putting his arm around her and holding her tight. The cold tiles felt good against her legs and she let him stroke her hair absentmindedly. It soothed her and he focused himself on the task, willing to do whatever necessary to calm and please her. Sabine knew he was feeling pressure in his head, his own mind being overrun by hers and she leaned into him, grabbed his hand and interlaced fingers, feeling how the contact comforted him.

She remembered how this had gone with Dinesh all those years ago – they had done it together. That was the key. They both needed to find peace for the agony to abate. Sabine practiced taking deep breaths, encouraged Leo to do the same. The calmer they were, the less it would hurt. They sat in silence on the bathroom floor, breathing in and out slowly in rhythm with one another, hands intertwined. She felt herself grow more placid, felt his relief as her grief lessened in his head.

An hour later, the thoughts had dissipated. They could still feel some of each other’s emotions but those too were fading and the pain had decreased substantially. Sabine could hardly keep her eyes open because whatever Leo had given her, it was effective. He picked her up and carried her to her bed, laying her down gently and covering her. He moved to leave and she grabbed his arm.

“Stay,” she said groggily, pulling him feebly to her. He complied but she could feel his apprehension. She responded by feeding him assurance through the connection. She wanted to be as close to him as she could. Sabine rested her head against his chest and let his arms circle around her waist. She could feel his lingering headache and she fed him tranquility through their weakening connection.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too. Go to sleep, darlin’,” he murmured softly and she did because the drug had finally forced her into unconsciousness. He stroked her hair as she slept and in the silence of the room, alone with his own thoughts, he contemplated what they’d done and what he had learned through the connection they’d shared.


	27. Chapter 27

In the early morning hours, Sabine was awakened by the sound of a rooster crowing in the distance. She was exactly where she’d been when she passed out, in Leo’s arms. His breathing indicated that he was awake.

She lifted her head up and looked at him.

“Good morning,” she said softly, observing the deep creases by his eyes. She suspected he hadn’t slept at all.

“You’re awake,” he said simply and her heart hurt because she remembered the night before and all the thoughts and emotions they’d fought through; she wondered what part of the previous day had kept him awake through the night. Sabine had her own unanswered questions.

“Where did you go yesterday?” she asked, her voice drowsy but her mind sharp.

“I went to Emory. I used the lab to study a sample of the narpholix you had.”

“What did you find?” she asked cautiously.

“It was a blend alright. The other drug was trylocine – close enough that a tricorder would scan it as dylocine.”

“What is trylocine?”

“A little-used but very potent animal tranquilizer. You’re lucky to be alive. Any more of it and we wouldn’t be lyin’ here together right now.”

“You know how awful I feel about what I did.”

“Yep,” he sighed. “I know better than anyone but you.”

“You forgave me.” It wasn’t a question; it was a statement. Sabine had felt it among the many feelings he’d shared with her.

“Of course,” he replied, his response muffled because his face was buried in her hair. “You know that.”

“What kept you awake all night?” she asked.

“You mean, of all the things I could choose from, what one thing kept me from sleeping?” He was teasing but there was the slightest edge to his words.

“I am ready for your questions,” she answered, teasing him in return. “I assume you have footnotes to boot.” She moved her head to make eye contact with him and he smiled down at her but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Talk to me,” she petitioned him, “I can see that something is troubling you. Please, I do not want to spend this entire break either worrying or fighting.”

He sighed and drew circles on her arm with his finger.

“I do have questions,” he countered. “But I don’t want to anger you or bring up uncomfortable memories.”

“It is okay,” she said. “I can handle whatever you ask.”

“Tell me about Dinesh,” he asked carefully. He saw her eyes cloud for a moment.

“He was my partner. From the time we were thirteen until a few years ago…”

“He died.” Another non-question. McCoy had felt her pain as she thought about Dinesh.

“Yes.”

“And he was your bondmate.” She looked up at him sharply and pulled away from him, sitting cross-legged across from him. “I’ve been reading up on my breaks at the clinic,” he replied defensively.

“Yes, he was my bondmate. We bonded when we were 23,” she confirmed. “Just how much have you read?”

“Enough to know his death must have wrecked you. You’re lucky to be alive. I’m so sorry, darlin’.” He reached out and touched her cheek, held his hand there, enjoying the feel of her soft, smooth skin under his.

“It was bad,” she murmured, lost for a moment in the memories. But she shook her head and he drew his hand away. “But I am okay now. And my feelings for you –”

“I didn’t bring him up because I was worried about whether you love me. I brought him up because I wanna know – I wanna understand what you’ve been through so I can help you if you’ll let me.”

She didn’t know how to respond so she remained silent.

“There’s so much you won’t tell me about your past. I wanna know who you are. I want you to trust me.” He looked at her pleadingly and she leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“I do trust you,” she replied, her face so close to his he could feel her breath on his cheek. “I trust you more than almost anyone else.” She snuggled into his chest and he enfolded her in his arms.

“I know I do not tell you enough,” she continued. “I want to tell you everything. I promise I will, soon. Be patient with me,” she implored.

“Okay,” he exhaled, pulling her in as close as he could. Her words reminded him of something but he couldn’t remember what. “I’ll wait.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. They sat in silence for a few moments.

Sabine wondered if she was making a mistake by not telling him everything right then. But she had just woken up, hadn’t even had her first cup of coffee and despite Cass’s prompt to tell Leo more, Sabine still worried that the repercussions would be swift and brutal. When she chose to share her past with him, she would make sure she did it on her terms.

Meanwhile, McCoy decided it was not the right time to ask about John. He hadn’t forgotten her thoughts about sleeping with the other southerner and it bothered him, even though he knew it shouldn’t. He opted to try another tack.

“Do you remember,” he began as he traced imaginary lines along her back and side, “that first night in the clinic, when you told me you would never enter someone else’s mind without their permission?”

She immediately sat back up, spun around, and looked at him, her expression a mix of confusion and paranoia.

“Do you think I violated you?” she asked warily.

“No, God, no. You warned me and we agreed. Everything was consensual – I’m not talkin’ about last night,” he replied, suddenly understanding why she was so ruffled.

“What are you talking about?” she asked, still uneasy.

“I just wanted…that is…I’m giving you permission,” he finally spit out.

Her eyes softened. “I see,” she said gently.

“Look, I don’t want to re-do last night any time soon. But if you ever need or want to tell me something – telepathically – you don’t have to ask my permission. My mind is yours to communicate with however you need.”

Sabine knew he had no idea how similar his words were to the ones she and Dinesh had spoken to one another before they bonded. She bit her bottom lip nervously.

“Before last night, I didn’t really understand what you’re capable of – I’m still trying to understand what you can and can’t do. But if you need me, need to share anything with me, it’s an option and you don’t have to ask. I just wanted you to know.” He felt like he was rambling.

“Hmmm…,” she didn’t know how to say what she was feeling. Obviously, he wanted her to know he was okay with her abilities. She didn’t want to reject him but she couldn’t accept.

She began again. “Thank you, love. I will reach out if I need to. But I would prefer to keep things as much like they were before last night as we can.”

They smiled at one another but Sabine could see the wheels turning in Leo’s head. She looked at him expectantly.

“It’s…it’s not always gonna be like that, right?” he asked her guardedly.

“No,” she assured him. “I promise it will get better. Why do you think I wanted to spend the break training?”

“I’d rather have you here with me. We can train for other things.” And with that his lips pressed against hers, his most urgent questions apparently answered. They sank back into the bed together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my excitement to get all the holiday chapters posted, I left this one out. Have now revised things so it's back where it belongs. Sorry for the error!


	28. Chapter 28

The rest of Sabine’s day was spent with Eleanora in the kitchen, after a quick run to pick up all the needed ingredients. Sabine searched her memories for the recipes she’d known as a child and found that once they started baking, it all came flooding back to her.

“It takes a lot of beurre– pardon –butter,” Sabine corrected herself while she and Eleanora were kneading the dough. Sabine was finding it difficult to recount the recipe in Standard because her memories were in French and the nostalgia kept washing over her, throwing her off of her normal, meticulous adherence to Standard. She hadn’t done enough cooking in the past few years to remember the names of all the ingredients in her second tongue.

“Well, anything with this much butter is bound to be good,” Eleanora responded.

The two women worked in companionable quiet, occasionally swapping stories of cooking adventures and misadventures.

“Leonard tells me you’re from the Ivory Coast,” Eleanora prompted Sabine as they came to a stopping point and waited for the dough to rise.

“Yes. I did not live there long.” Sabine hated the lies but hated the consequences of telling the truth even more.

“But that’s the language you speak, yes? Ivorian?”

“Mmm…,” she responded, avoiding eye contact with the other woman and hoping it sounded like she was answering in the affirmative.

“While we’re waiting for the dough, may I show you my husband’s library? There are some books I think you’ll be interested to see,” Eleanora had a sparkle in her eyes and Sabine wondered just what she was up to.

She followed Mrs. McCoy down the hall to a room with pocket doors. Eleanora opened them up and ushered Sabine in, following behind her and closing the doors. As far as either of them knew, the men were working on fences out in the fields, but Eleanora didn’t want to take any risks. This young thing before her was skittish as a colt and the last thing they needed was her son and his buddy startling her.

Sabine looked around the room, with its lovely floor to ceiling built-in bookcases, leather arm chairs from a different era and thick Persian rug covering the hardwood floor. This was a room she could fall in love with. She missed books. Eleanora walked over to a section of shelves and waited for Sabine to follow her.

“For some reason, I happen to think you might like these right here,” she said to Sabine, patting the shelves next to her. Sabine took a closer look at the titles.

 _Les Misérables, Candide, Les Liaisons Dangereuses, Madame Bovary, Bel-Ami, L’étranger_ …

The two shelves Eleanora had pointed out contained over fifty volumes of French literature. Sabine’s eyes snapped back to the other woman, and her heart raced. She was unsure how to react. It was only a hundred years ago that laws against owning books written in French had finally been lifted.

“It’s okay, dear. I don’t know how or why you speak this language and I won’t say a word. But someone ought to enjoy all of these. David and I could never understand a lick of ‘em, but they looked good on the shelves.”

“How did you know I was speaking French?”

“Well, it was a little bit of a lucky guess. When I was young, no more than four or five, my great-grandmother would use a cookbook to make meals. It was one of her most prized possessions – had been passed down from generation to generation in the family – hidden during the times when anything French was forbidden. That’s it there.”

Eleanora nodded to the end of the top shelf where a battered and much-loved copy of _La Bonne Cuisine de Madame E. Saint-Ange_ was nestled. Sabine felt a lump in her throat – her mother had owned that same book.

“Sadly, my grandma never learned to read the book, and none of us since have been able to make heads or tails of it. Anyway, I heard you say beurre, farine, and sucre and I remembered my great-grammy using those same words when she’d read from her cookbook. I figured it was worth a try to see if you recognized any of these books.”

Sabine wanted to cry tears of joy. No one, outside of Adjoa, had spoken to her in or about French for so long.

“Thank you for showing me this. They are wonderful.” Her brow furrowed as she wondered how many questions she would have to answer – in lies – should Leo walk in on her reading from French novels.

“I’m guessing you want to keep this between you and me,” his mother replied, as though she could read Sabine’s mind. Now she knew why Leo was always so paranoid with her. It felt strange to have someone size her up so well.

“You should know these doors lock from the inside. Ought to give you enough time to hide what you’re reading should anyone come looking for you.”

“Thank you,” Sabine whispered and Eleanora patted her on the shoulder.

“I’ll come get you in an hour or so when the dough is done rising. Till then, enjoy!”

Eleanora left the study and closed the doors behind her. Sabine flipped the lock and settled in to read, deciding on _Chéri_ by Colette.


	29. Chapter 29

The break passed by in a rush of meeting Leo’s siblings and his daughter, and enjoying McCoy family holiday traditions. Christmas had lost all religious connotations in this time period and Sabine found that to be a welcome relief. She embraced the 23rd century lack of religious zealotry in general, having seen for herself how much religious convictions had complicated and aggravated relations between people in her own time. Sabine’s parents had never been particularly religious – her father had grown up in Côte d’Ivoire, a predominantly Muslim country with a fair amount of Christians and those who also embraced the older, traditional African religions, and her mother was French, so that meant she was a lapsed Catholic. The apartment building they’d lived in was located in Le Marais and Sabine had grown up with friends from all kinds of religions. In her building alone, there were several Jewish families, another Muslim family, and a couple of female American missionaries who always traveled in pairs. Her parents had encouraged her to interact with everyone, even allowing her to take the ESL classes offered by the American missionaries. Sabine had loved learning about everyone else’s beliefs and in her own home, her parents celebrated both Christian and Muslim holidays. Some years, the family would go from completing Ramadan to decorating the Christmas tree a few weeks later. The neighbors would invite her to Passover Seders and her family would return the favor by inviting all their friends and neighbors to Eid Mubarak or Christmas dinners. Sabine learned to respect everyone’s views but not to get too committed to any one set of beliefs. She had been relieved to see that this was the same view many beings in the 23rd century adopted. She’d found it fascinating that Earth had gone from a place of deep convictions to a world where religion was treated almost as an afterthought.

Of all the major holidays from her time, Christmas was the only one that remained and she found it comforting that so many traditions surrounding the holiday had been retained – the tree, giving gifts, caroling, egg nog – all of the positives as far as she was concerned. There was just one thing she felt was lacking. As the family gathered in the living room after a delicious Christmas dinner, they began to play their favorite Christmas songs by connecting their PADDs to the antique stereo system; a system so old it had been dated even in Sabine’s time. However, it delighted her because her father had owned a similar one, complete with turntable and receiver. If there was one thing she had to pick above all others that she loved about the McCoy house, it was the preponderance of antiques. But that wasn’t as important to her in this moment as introducing the McCoys to her favorite Christmas song – the one thing missing from the festivities.

“Okay, okay,” Eleanora called out, quieting down the lively singing and laughter. “Who hasn’t played their favorite song yet?” She looked around the room and something about Sabine’s smile and the light in her eyes made Eleanora stop.

“Sabine, honey, do you have a favorite to share?”

“I do,” Sabine replied enthusiastically. She stood to move over towards the stereo and hooked her PADD up to it. “I do not know if you will know this one – it is very old. But I cannot imagine Christmas without it.” She scrolled through her music screen and tapped the song when it appeared.

At the sound of the sparkling percussion that reminded her of an antique music box or maybe even a snow globe, Sabine’s grin grew even wider. She loved this stupid song so much. Then the lyrics kicked in.

_I don’t want a lot for Christmas_   


_There is just one thing I need_   


_I don’t care about the presents_   


_Underneath the Christmas tree_

“Hey, I’ve heard this one,” Jim said excitedly, jumping off the couch and grabbing Joanna’s hand. “Come on, princess, let’s dance.” Joanna jumped up with him, laughing as he twirled her around the floor. Other family members looked at one another in bemused confusion. They’d never heard the song before but why not. Slowly, others joined Jim and Joanna in the center of the room, dancing with one another to the fizzy, silly song. Leo grabbed Sabine and they joined the fun.

“So you like the oldies, huh?” Leo murmured in her ear. She leaned in closer to hear him over the laughter, music, and din of conversation.

“Mmm, not all the time but I love this one,” she replied. And it was true. She loved current music – loved the variety that came from being a part of a galactic community. She couldn’t imagine going back to just Earth tunes now that she’d come to appreciate and collect songs from all over the Federation. But there were still some Earth classics, from her time and earlier, that she loved dearly.

“Also, this is not so old. If you want real oldies, I have some truly ancient Christmas music on my PADD.” She thought about the various pieces of Handel’s Messiah on her PADD – pieces she had listened to long before she learned English, while helping her mother decorate the Christmas tree.

“Older than this? I’d like to hear that,” he replied, dipping her down.

“Later, I will play some for you. You can tell me what you think,” she responded as he brought her back up and they danced cheek to cheek.

“Sounds like a plan,” he whispered in her ear. They swayed together for a few moments, enjoying the song and the couples around them, all dancing and laughing. Jim swooped past them, lifting Joanna up and spinning her around while the young girl giggled with glee.

“It’s funny – I would’ve thought you’d choose a traditional holiday song from the Ivory Coast,” McCoy mused, spinning her out away from him and then pulling her back in.

“Oh, I like plenty of songs from my country,” she hedged, not entirely lying. “But this one – it is my favorite Christmas song even if it is American.” That was a complete truth. She’d loved the frothy pop song from her earliest recollections of Christmas music.

“It’s American?” McCoy asked in surprise.

“Yes,” Sabine replied. “A musician from the 1990s.”

“Well, I’ll be,” he responded. “Sometimes, I think you might know more about American history than even Jim.”

“I do not know about that,” she demurred. “Jim really loves his history.” And it was true. For someone who made such an effort to cause trouble and act like he didn’t have a care in the world, Jim Kirk was amazingly well-versed on a diverse number of subjects, but none more so than Earth history, and especially American history. Sabine sometimes felt like Jim would have fit right in with her own time.

Earlier in the week, the two of them had spent half a day in the McCoy garage, getting the 1983 Land Rover Defender that Leo’s father had used to make rounds back up and running. When Leo had shown them the car, covered by a tarp in the back, behind the hover vehicles, Sabine had rubbed her hands together in glee. She knew a thing or two about actual cars – the kind with wheels that touched the ground. She and Jim had circled the vehicle like lions, ready to attack their prey. Upon opening the hood, they’d quickly determined what needed to be done.

“Spark plugs,” Sabine called out, having removed the top of the housing compartment for the emission coils.

“New battery,” Jim replied from his side of the engine compartment.

“Some belts down here will need to be replaced,” she called back, her head in the compartment as she shined a pin light around it, looking for anything else. Sabine straightened out and brushed her hand across her cheek, leaving a trail of grease.

“We can make this run again,” she said to Leo, an eager smile on her face.

“Yeah, this baby’s in great shape. You don’t happen to have some dirt roads around here, do you?” Jim asked McCoy, his eyes shining as bright as Sabine’s. They shared a look with one another as they contemplated how much fun it would be to take the vehicle for an off-road spin once they had it running.

“You two are trouble,” McCoy had replied, but he’d left them the keys and gone off to ride horses with Joanna.

As Jim and Sabine had worked on the car together through the morning and into the afternoon, they’d talked to each other about their shared love of old, pre-hover vehicles.

“So how’d you get into old cars?” Jim asked, appreciating the view as Sabine bent over the engine, fishing for the defective spark plugs so they could swap them out.

“In Africa, a lot of people still drive these,” she replied, grabbing the faulty plugs and pulling them out. She righted herself and handed them to Jim who then handed her the new ones to install. “They work on them to keep them running and I got to help out when I was younger.”

“You lived in Africa?” he asked her, interested in learning more. His roommate had told him she was reticent to share details about her past and Jim had decided to see if he had more success getting her to talk.

“Yes. My dad was from…Ivory Coast. We did not live there long but I would go back to visit his parents frequently.” Well, it was partially true. She had visited her grandparents in Abidjan on numerous occasions – she’d just never lived there. Her parents had settled in Paris before she was born.

“What’s it like there?” In addition to his seemingly random pockets of deep knowledge, Jim loved asking questions. He and Leo had that in common. But this was a question she didn’t mind, even if she couldn’t answer it with complete accuracy.

“Mmm, Africa is a huge continent. It is different everywhere you go. Every country has a great diversity of tribes and languages. I loved it there. Very lush in certain places – I have never seen so many mangos and bananas on the tree as I did in Kenya. Then there is the desert – climbing a sand dune in Morocco was one of the hardest things I ever did. North Africa is much different from Sub-Saharan Africa. South Africa feels a lot like Europe. Oh, there are the big parks too – one of my favorite vacations was rafting on the Nile and then visiting the gorilla sanctuary in Uganda.” She stopped there, not wanting to say too much for fear that she’d slip up and give him information that had been accurate in her time but not now.

Jim seldom saw Sabine this animated. It was clear she had a deep affection for her home. He wondered if McCoy had seen this side of her and if not, why. He also wondered when he would see her reluctance in answering questions.

Meanwhile, Sabine was lost in her memories of Africa. As a continent, it had been relatively unscathed in WWIII. That had put it in an incredibly powerful position as the former first world nations sought resources to rebuild after the war. Suddenly, Africa was no longer the third-world, but instead a vibrant, resource-rich community of nations which put aside their differences and banded together to ensure that they would not be exploited in this new world order. Even land-locked countries like Uganda, who, despite having an abundance of natural resources, had struggled to make ends meet, found themselves drawing in profits they’d never expected. The African continent in the 23rd century was, perhaps, the most powerful group of nations on Earth, rivaling the new United States as a world power. Sabine was happy to see that Africa had achieved the greatness it had always deserved. Some of her happiest memories stemmed from her times there, be it visiting various places on the continent with her parents and grandparents, or the time she had visited Adjoa’s family in Lomé and spent a blissful week walking along the sandy beaches, coming home in the afternoon to help with the family restaurant. She smiled as she thought about the nights they’d spent dancing to live music on the restaurant patio. Or the time they’d gone to Accra, Ghana and visited a little café on the outskirts of the city, dancing to a live band playing Highlife songs. She wondered if that café, or one like it, still existed and if you could still find live Highlife bands.

“Hey,” Jim snapped his fingers in front of her face and she broke from her reverie. “Where’d you go?” he asked.

“Sorry. I just got lost remembering childhood vacations,” she replied. She turned back to the Defender and bent over again to install the new plugs. Jim bent over with her this time, not because he didn’t think she could do it, but because he enjoyed watching someone who loved old cars as much as he did.

“So what’s the coolest car you’ve worked on?” Jim asked her once they resurfaced.

A flood of memories hit her as she thought about her answer. If only she could tell Jim about the adventures she’d had. Like the time they’d jumped to 1980s Communist East Germany and she’d had to hotwire a Trabi so that they could get past Checkpoint Charlie with one of them hiding in the tiny trunk. The rush of adrenaline, the fear of getting caught or stuck in the death strip, the relief at the successful completion, only to realize they were no safer on the other side – it was the kind of story a daredevil like Jim Kirk would love. Instead she looked at him sheepishly.

“Too many to choose just one,” she replied. “What about you?” Deflection always worked well.

It hadn’t been lost on Jim that even though her eyes had lit up at his question, she’d avoided answering it. But he answered anyway.

“Oh, that’s easy. My dad had this great 1965 Corvette Sting Ray C2. After my mom remarried, the stepdad tried to treat it like his own. But that baby was mine,” he recounted, his face going from smiles to stormy and then back to smiles.

“I loved that car…and then, when I was 12, I drove it off a cliff because Frank threatened to sell it. I wasn’t gonna let him take it away,” Jim’s voice was steely again.

“Mmm, I am sorry it is not around anymore,” Sabine said softly. “What a great car. And what an awful stepfather.”

Her words seemed to pull Jim out of his funk. Jim Kirk was never upset for long.

“Yeah well, you win some, you lose some. This baby right here – we get this running and we can have some fun. You know there’s got to be all sorts of off-roading around here.”

He and Sabine shared devious grins. Oh, they were gonna have some fun alright. Later, when McCoy returned to the garage with Joanna, they had the Defender purring and good to their words, they took Leo and Joanna out on an adventure. As Sabine and Jim took turns driving the antique over the gentle hills and through the woods around the McCoy property, Joanna would clap gleefully while Leo looked like he might get sick. Sabine couldn’t help it if she “accidentally” spun the vehicle into donuts, drawing a delighted squeal from Joanna and a slew of curses from her boyfriend. And how could Jim be held accountable for testing the Defender’s ability to ford the rushing stream they came upon? As the water crept up to the headlights, Sabine whooped in enthusiasm, Joanna joining her, while McCoy regretted ever letting these animals into his life.

Yes, the holiday break had been fun. But it was the last night and as Joanna nodded off in her lap, Sabine sighed, half out of contentment and half from resignation that in the morning, they would transport back to the Academy.

“Did you have a good break?” Leo asked her as he picked his daughter up off her lap. They both stood and she followed him up the stairs, to the room where Joanna was staying.

“I had a wonderful time. Thank you so much,” she whispered. They tucked Jo into bed and closed the door quietly. In the hallway, it was just the two of them, everyone else still downstairs. They could hear the laughter wafting up to them and as she looked in Leo’s eyes, Sabine wanted to freeze time and stay in this moment forever.


	30. Chapter 30

“Hein, comment s'est passé ton séjour?” Adjoa hugged Sabine as she entered her dorm room.

“Ça va bien. Et toi?” Sabine closed the door and turned to her best friend, who had curled up on her bed, ready to share details from their week apart. She joined Adjoa on the bed.

“Ben, c'était pas mal,” Adjoa had missed having Sabine around campus. The other ten crew members were always there to spend time with but it wasn’t the same. And she’d been doubly impacted by Shrax’s departure for his own home. It had been a lonely winter break and she was more than excited for her boyfriend and best friend to return.

“Did Section 31 make your lives miserable?” Sabine was only half-kidding.

“They did their best mais ils ne pouvaient pas gâcher nos bons esprits,” Adjoa replied. “But more important than that – how was meeting la famille?”

Sabine smiled, thinking back on the week she’d shared with Leo and his family. That smile was all Adjoa needed to see.

“I see it went well, oh!”

“It was…really wonderful,” Sabine wasn’t sure she could find words in either language to describe how much she’d savored the week away.

“Tu as un air de bonheur que je n'ai jamais vu auparavant,” Adjoa observed. “Even with Dinesh, you never glowed quite like this.”

The mention of her ex’s name brought Sabine crashing back down to reality. Adjoa noticed her friend’s crestfallen face.

“Quoi? Qu'est-ce que c'est? You look like you have seen a ghost.” The two girls had talked about Dinesh many times and Sabine hadn’t ever reacted so strongly.

“It is nothing…,” Adjoa narrowed her eyes in disbelief and Sabine sighed. She needed to be truthful. This was Adjoa – not Leo. She was allowed to talk to Adjoa about these kinds of things – just not in public and not so loud they could be overheard. “It is just….you know my nightmares?”

“Which ones?” Adjoa was well versed in Sabine’s many and varied night terrors.

“The ones where Dinesh and I are walking through Paris? Right before he proposed to me?”

“Yes. What of them? Pourquoi parles-tu de tes cauchemars?”

“They have changed. I no longer walk with Dinesh – now it is Leo. And that is not all,” Sabine eyed her friend nervously and Adjoa nodded for her to continue. “Leo is having the same dreams with me.”

“C'est quoi ces conneries?"

“Ouais, je sais. But it is real and I do not understand how or why it is happening. And it just happened again last night.”

Sabine briefly related to her friend how she, Leo, and Jim had arrived back on campus, said their goodbyes for the evening, and she had returned to her room, to unpack. When she’d fallen asleep for the night, she’d started having the nightmares, as always in the same cycle. Only this time, Leo had commed her, awaking her before the cycle finished. He had asked her if she’d just dreamt of them walking through that odd city and she’d been unsure what to say. It was clear he’d shared the dream with her but she didn’t want to admit it to him, for fear of all the questions he would ask. So she had said no, and then spent the rest of the night angry with herself for lying. It had been an unfortunate way to end the holiday break. Even worse, she suspected Leo hadn’t believed her when she’d said no.

“I did not think you could share dreams with anyone outside of Dinesh. Was he not your lifebond?” Adjoa was as familiar with Sabine’s telepathy as any human from their era could be.

“Yes, he was. But Cass says perhaps I can have more than one bond? And there is a connection between Leo and me. She thinks it might be a lifebond.”

Adjoa clicked her tongue at that. “Mince alors, ça craint,” she whispered, patting her friend’s leg.

Unlike Cass, Adjoa would not look on the bright side in this particular situation. She remembered how close they’d come to losing Sabine after Dinesh died. And even in the best of times, she knew that it had taxed both Sabine and Dinesh to share a lifebond – to merge minds so completely. If anyone ever asked her, she’d tell them telepathy wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

“Depuis combien de temps cela se passe-t-il?” Adjoa wasn’t accustomed to someone else knowing about these kinds of things before her. While she understood that Cass was better suited (in some ways) to handle issues related to telepathy, it still bothered her that Sabine hadn’t come to her sooner.

“I am not certain,” Sabine replied, aware of Adjoa’s unspoken question – Why didn’t you tell me sooner? “I am not sure when Leo began sharing dreams with me. He first mentioned it in late October.”

Adjoa was silent for a beat after Sabine’s statement and the other girl could tell she was calculating just how long Cass may have known about the dreams before she did.

“I should have mentioned this sooner. There is no good reason for why I did not, except that the whole thing has upset me.”

“It is fine. Ne te dérange pas pour ça. I am not your mother and you do not have to tell me everything,” Adjoa hoped she sounded convincing.

“It is not fine. I know I should have told you when I told Cass. Please know that no matter what, you are still ma meilleur amie. I hoped Cass would be able to help me…but I am not so sure she can after all.”

Adjoa would be lying if she said she got no satisfaction from that last sentence. She liked Cass, would never wish the handler any kind of outright harm. Cass had been good to the Resurrection IV crew. But that didn’t mean Adjoa wasn’t jealous from time to time of the closeness that had arisen between Sabine and Cass. Just as Sabine had been jealous when Adjoa had started dating Shrax and it had been harder for the Togolaise to find time for her. Both friends had experienced pangs of envy and loneliness from time to time in their long-running friendship. Friendships were complicated animals and the longer a friendship lasted, the more layers were added on – subtle jabs and jibes ingrained in the warm sheets of happiness and comfort. Best friends were simultaneously mirrors to one another’s deepest secrets, and weapons that could lead to complete destruction if mishandled. Sabine and Adjoa never took for granted how fortunate they had been to find each other and maintain such a close friendship through all the hardships they’d experienced. It would take more than another woman entering their circle of friends to unseat their friendship. And Adjoa was enough of a friend and adult to realize what Sabine needed right then was comfort and solutions, not to worry over whether her friend was hurt.

“Cass knows so much about telepathy. Give her time. I am sure she will find a way to resolve this. In the meantime, tell me more about the shared dreams. Does Leo realize they are memories?”

“I…I think so. I am worried he will figure out they are not only memories, but memories of a place that no longer exists,” Sabine was relieved Adjoa’s focus had shifted back to the dreams themselves. “There is more too. I have not told Cass about this yet.” Sabine knew that would please Adjoa in some part.

“What?” the other woman asked intently, not even paying attention to the fact that Cass hadn’t been privy to what Sabine was about to tell her.

“Over the break…Leo and I…well, we ended up sharing thoughts and feelings for a few hours. He knows Dinesh was my lifebond.”

Adjoa stared at Sabine, then made a sound akin to a whistle.

“J'ai beaucoup de questions,” she stated.

“I have very few answers,” Sabine replied. “But ask me anyway and I will answer what I can.”

And so the women spent the next hour or so discussing exactly what had happened over the break and what the implications might be for Sabine and McCoy’s relationship in the future. Adjoa advocated for honesty – coming completely clean to McCoy. Sabine didn’t know if she had it in herself to do that yet. And even if she could, she worried what would happen if Section 31 found out. It seemed inevitable that they would, even if just Cass knew. Sabine was mindful of how much Cass fretted over Shrax knowing the truth. Even if their handler was encouraging her to be somewhat truthful, Sabine doubted the other telepath meant for her to share everything.

While the best friends didn’t solve anything before finishing their discussion, Sabine felt better knowing she’d shared everything with Adjoa.


	31. Chapter 31

Initially, McCoy hadn’t meant to spy on Sabine’s PADD. He was in her room and she had run down the hall to ask Adjoa something. As he reclined on her bed, he looked over to the nightstand and saw that her PADD was set to a page filled with her writing. As he squinted to make sense of it, he realized he couldn’t understand it because it wasn’t Standard. At that point, he could have looked away. And maybe he should have, a tiny voice in the back of his mind reminded him. But he thought back to all the times she had dodged his questions about where she’d grown up and what she’d done before coming to the Academy and instead of ignoring her PADD, he grabbed his own, which he’d tossed on the desk upon arriving. He pulled up the holovid function and took a holo of her PADD screen. Then he darted back to the bed just before she came into the room.

McCoy had a pretty good idea exactly who he should ask about the strange language Sabine had introduced him to, however inadvertently. A couple of days after he’d taken the secret holo of his girlfriend’s PADD, he was in the library, looking for the cadet that would hopefully answer his linguistics concerns. He scanned the desks and saw the cadet he was seeking at a table in the back, tucked away from the noise of the main reading room. McCoy made his way over to her and she waved. They had arranged to meet here, on this particular day, because McCoy knew Sabine was working a clinical shift and thus, wouldn’t be in the library or liable to show up suddenly.

“Hey,” the other cadet said warmly as he reached her table. “How are you?” She gave him a hug.

“I’m good,” he replied. “How was your break?”

They exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes before Nyota Uhura got down to business.

“So what exactly do you want me to help you with?”

“Well, I’ve come across this language and I’m hoping you can tell me what it is,” McCoy pulled up the holo on his PADD and sent a copy of it to the communications cadet’s PADD.

“Hmmm…I don’t recognize this one,” she said, her brows knit in concentration as she stared at the holo.

“It’s terran?” she asked.

“I think so,” he replied. McCoy felt a growing unease with what he was doing. This was the first time he’d gone to someone besides Jim with concerns about his girlfriend and he wanted to keep the details to a minimum. Hell, he hadn’t even told Jim about the holo yet.

“Does it look like it could be a West African language?” he asked the other cadet. She looked at him candidly.

“Well, I can’t be certain – We don’t all know each other’s dialects, you know,” she teased with a hint of rebuke.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to assume. As you love to remind me, you are the best communications cadet in our class. I’m wondering specifically if it’s Ivorian.”

“It’s possible but I don’t think so,” she pointed to the various accent symbols above certain letters. “These don’t look African. I’d guess they’re part of a Romance language of some sort but this definitely isn’t Spanish or Italian. Do you mind if I keep this holo for a couple of days?”

“Uh, sure,” he answered hesitantly. “I just…”

Uhura watched as he nervously rubbed his lips with his hand. She noticed the ring on his pinky had changed since the last time she’d seen him – gone was the sapphire he’d worn and in its place was a signet ring from Ole Miss. Noticing little details like that was part of what made Uhura such a good communications student – she noticed any variations between sounds – she noticed the changes in spellings – could tell a misspelling from a homophone. Uhura’s eye for detail extended to every aspect of life. And right now, she was noticing a lot of changes in her grumpy friend. Some were good – others, not so much.

“What is it?” she asked him, as he failed to muster a proper response.

“Don’t show it to anyone else, please.”

“Sure thing,” she looked at him curiously as she replied. “Should I be worried about you?”

“Nah, I’m fine. I just need to keep this discrete,” he tried his best to act casually. The last thing he wanted was for Ny to start worrying about him. That would lead to questions and if there was one thing Nyota Uhura was good at, it was pestering him when she thought he was hiding something, being too mopey, or myriad other reasons.

“Okay. I’ll let you have your secrets for now. We’ll talk more when I figure out what this is,” she nodded down to the holo on her PADD.

“Yeah, just comm me when you know,” he replied. “And I’m serious. You tell anyone about this and I’ll tell Jim your first name.”

“Wow. That is serious,” she cracked. McCoy and Nyota had become friends over their shared frustration with Jim Kirk and McCoy had, as of yet, refused to share her first name with his roommate.

They said their goodbyes and McCoy exited the library, heading back to his apartment. Four days later, Nyota commed him and asked to meet at the library again, this time later at night, when there was less of a chance they’d be seen or overheard. Just to be safe, she booked a study room. McCoy was nervous. What did she have to tell him that warranted such precautions on her part? He walked over to the library and knocked on the door to the study room she’d reserved.

“Hey,” she greeted him, opening the door and letting him in then shutting it behind her.

“So, what did you find?” he responded, so wound up that he bypassed any efforts at small talk. The communications cadet didn’t seem to mind.

“Well, I definitely know what language this is,” she said, pointing to the holo that was already up on her PADD. “What I don’t understand is how you got this. Was this taken from a current cadet?”

McCoy didn’t want to give her more information than needed. “Why?”

“Because it’s a dead language. It hasn’t been spoken in over 200 years.” He stared at her, trying to absorb what she was telling him.

“A dead language?” He felt stupid. That meant people weren’t speaking it anymore, right? But someone was.

“Yeah. And that’s not all. This language was almost unilaterally banned for almost a hundred years beginning at the start of WWIII,” Nyota moved over to her PADD and clicked to a different screen with images of large bonfires and dead bodies slumped against walls. “We’re talking about book burnings, mass executions – this language – its people – they were deliberately hunted down and killed.”

McCoy didn’t know what to say. “What’s the language?” he asked weakly. He thought back to the people Sabine had lost – her parents, her bondmate. How did that fit in with events that happened so long ago?

“We would call it French – but its speakers would have called it français.”

“And the people who spoke it – where were they from?” He felt his mouth go dry.

“Well, that’s where things get even weirder. You asked me if this was Ivorian – it’s not – at least it isn’t what we call Ivorian now. Ivorian today is a pidgin of Baoulé and Anyin.”

At that McCoy interrupted her with a confused look on his face. “What’s a pidgin?”

“It’s a grammatically simplified language that develops between two or more groups who don’t share a common tongue. But that’s not the important thing,” she said impatiently. “The really crazy thing is that French was spoken in the Ivory Coast until WWIII. There were numerous countries in Africa, Europe, at least one province in Canada – even some islands in the Pacific and Atlantic oceans – where French was spoken. But during WWIII, people suspected of being French, or being sympathetic to the French, were slaughtered. So if you were caught speaking it, or even having books written in French, you were killed.” She looked at him after she finished, gauging his response.

McCoy didn’t know what to think. How was his girlfriend speaking, writing, and thinking in a language that hadn’t been in use for over 200 years? He could feel Nyota staring at him and he knew he had to say something.

“Can you think of a reason anyone today would be speaking this language?” he asked, hoping Nyota had an explanation that would make sense. He felt as though the more he learned about Sabine, the more questions arose.

“Well, I actually thought about that quite a bit. It could be that there are still small villages where it may be spoken? Or one thing I remembered from my military communications class first semester is that sometimes militaries would use dead or dying languages as a way sending messages in code. So, in this case, whoever this is might be using French as a way of concealing messages from others.”

McCoy wanted to agree with Uhura’s assessment but he couldn’t forget a couple of facts: One: Sabine thought in this other tongue, which probably precluded her from using it solely as a code and two: she’d insisted her family had lived in Abidjan, which was far from being a small village.

“There’s more,” Ny said uneasily, realizing that she may have overwhelmed the somewhat hapless-looking doctor.

“More?” he gulped.

“Yes. So I translated this holo – it’s nothing controversial on the surface – just a daily schedule. But I noticed that the handwriting was a bit weird in places.” She pointed to a character on the page. “See, that’s a ‘p’ but we don’t write them like that. And this,” she noted, pointing to another character, “This is a 1.”

“Like the number?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“It looks like an ‘A’ without the line in between.”

“I thought the same thing at first. It took me a while to translate this accurately because of the writing.” She looked at him and he could tell she was about to drop a bomb. “This handwriting – it’s consistent with someone who would have lived in the European dead zone about 230 years ago – before it was the dead zone.” She paused a moment to let the shock settle.

“I reviewed pages and pages of pre-WWIII writings, going back as far as the 1980s, and this handwriting fits right in with how people who lived in France would have written.”

McCoy thought back to his lessons from secondary school. So much had been lost in the third world war. So much death. So many cities gone and then rebuilt. But certain places had not yet recovered. They were, even all this time later, considered areas which could not sustain life. The former country of France, in the western part of Europe, was the largest of these dead zones. He’d never paid much attention to the previous name of the European dead zone – hadn’t realized one day he’d be standing in a study room trying to figure out why his girlfriend thought in French. He recalled more from his classes: France had been pummeled into the earth during WWIII. A combination of its strong position in the EU after the collapse of Germany’s economy, and the diminishing power of the United States and United Kingdom (both of whom devolved into nationalist, isolationist countries) left France and Canada as the remaining Western superpowers in the world and both had paid dearly for that power. While Canada had escaped with only minor radiation damage, France had not been so lucky. The country had been nuked so many times over that when first contact was made with the Vulcans, even they could not withstand or remedy the radiation still rising off the land.

“I even managed to narrow the time-period down a bit, based on certain letters. This handwriting is a near-perfect match for the handwriting of a French person pre-WWIII, towards the early to mid 2000s.” She was silent for a moment then continued. “I have to tell you, it wasn’t easy finding all of this. I scoured the archives to get images and information on everything.”

He cocked his eyebrow at her and she anticipated his unspoken question.

“But I did it without telling anyone else. Your secret, which you still haven’t told me, is safe.”

She hesitated.

“What?” McCoy prompted her.

“I don’t know what you’re doing with this. I know from translating this is the writing of someone who either attended or is attending classes here on campus. There are some old recordings in the archives – they feature different French speakers from around the world so that the listener can determine where a particular French speaker was from. I can get those, if you want and we can give them a listen. If you think it would help you with whatever this is,” she gestured to her PADD.

McCoy knew she had become curious about the holo and he imagined she was offering the recordings as much for her own interest as his. He mutely nodded at her. She smiled.

“Okay, give me about five minutes. I’ll get the recordings. I already borrowed the listening device.” She pointed to the corner of the room where McCoy now noticed an ancient machine.

For the next half hour, they listened to various French speakers over the semi-portable device that Uhura had borrowed. He knew the instant he heard the speaker from France that he’d identified Sabine’s particular accent. The speaker had the same cadence, sounded so similar to the way she had sounded in his mind. Still, they listened to all the recordings just to be sure. After they finished, Uhura looked at him gently.

“Did that help?” Even though she was curious about what, exactly, was going on, she was also worried for her friend, who rubbed his eyes in consternation.

“Yeah, I suppose it did,” he looked over at Nyota. “I’m sorry I can’t tell you more right now. I need to figure out a few more things. But I promise, if I solve this mystery, you’ll be one of the first to know.”

If she was disappointed, she hid it well.

“Don’t worry about it. Just take care, okay? You look tired.” She ruffled his hair as she grabbed the listening device and recordings. “I have to take these back and then I’m gonna study a bit longer. You’ll be alright?” Nyota had been so intrigued by the project McCoy had presented her with that she’d shirked her other academic obligations to research it instead. Now she needed to catch up on what she’d missed the past four days, particularly in Commander Spock’s class.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks, Ny, for doing all this. You really went above and beyond.”

“Anything for you, Doc. And I’ll just assume this means you won’t be telling Jim any first names?”

“Your name will remain the greatest mystery of Jim Kirk’s life.”

He smiled at the other cadet but inside, he felt empty and more confused than he’d felt in years. As he walked home, he tried to reconcile what Nyota had just shared with what he knew about Sabine. He was starting to wonder if anything she’d told him was true. And yet, he wasn’t angry. Just sad. For some reason, the first thing he thought of was the dream they’d shared over and over. That walk through the unknown city. Learning about Sabine’s language had made him feel as melancholy as that dream did. He knew there had to be a good, reasonable explanation. But how could he get it out of her? She’d be upset if she knew he’d taken a holo of her PADD and given it to someone else for translation. He couldn’t remember another time that her PADD hadn’t been set to the lock screen.

Lost in thought as he was, McCoy failed to notice the two people who entered the library as he was exiting. He also failed to notice the other two people who followed him to his apartment and then kept walking as he entered the building. McCoy was oblivious to anything other than his uncertainty. He tried to sleep that night but he couldn’t get his mind to stop racing. No scenario he’d thought of fully answered all the questions his talk with Nyota had uncovered. He knew a tough conversation with Sabine was coming.


	32. Chapter 32

Cass was concerned. She’d been shown the holovids of McCoy and Uhura at the library. Even without sound, the Section 31 team had been able to zoom in, see what was projected on the holo and make out most of the conversation between the two cadets. When Cass had been pulled into her superior’s office and asked to watch the vid, she knew they had reached a new level of deep shit. But now that she was sitting in her own office, prepping to meet with Sabine, she couldn’t decide what the best move was. Did she tell Sabine about the holovids and ask her to confront McCoy? Did she keep the holovids to herself and tell the other telepath to just confess everything to him? Or did she say nothing? The Section wanted the relationship between Sabine and McCoy to continue – that much had become obvious in today’s briefing. The fact that Section 31 wanted it so much made Cass uncomfortable. She wasn’t positive about the endgame but she suspected they hoped the couple would bond and McCoy would acquire Sabine’s skills. It was the only reason that made sense.

But did that mean she should try sabotaging the relationship? If Section 31 intended to use both cadets after graduation, then maybe the best thing was to split them up now so that she only had to worry about protecting Sabine. The problem was, she didn’t think she could stand taking away the one thing that Sabine had truly loved since Cass had known her. Cass could be a bitch, even enjoyed it frequently, but she wasn’t that heartless.

She decided that she would keep the information she’d learned to herself. She would gently prod Sabine to be honest with McCoy and she’d watch to see what happened. It seemed like the most holistic move to make – Sabine wouldn’t know her boyfriend had met with another cadet to discuss her language if Section 31 weren’t involved. And if she told Sabine to share more with McCoy, she was being a good friend, and hopefully helping their relationship.

At the designated time, Sabine knocked on Cass’s door. Much to everyone’s delight, there had been no need for a weekly meeting so her one-on-one with Sabine was the only thing she needed to accomplish today.

Cass opened the door and as the two girls greeted one another, Cass stood with her back to the holovid monitor up in the ceiling corner of her office. She reached out to Sabine.

Be careful what you say in response to my questions today. Keep your answers short.

_Okay. Are we in trouble?_

Not necessarily, but I just want you to try keeping things to yes and no answers. Don’t give too much detail about anything, especially Bones.

_Alright._

Sabine was accustomed to these kinds of mental messages from Cass before their one-on-ones in the Section 31 building. She’d even gotten used to Cass grabbing her hand and stripping her glove off from time to time when they were on campus together so that she could use Sabine’s telepathy to communicate messages. Sabine assumed that Cass would fill her in at a later point, like she usually did.

Their meeting was nothing significant. Cass asked Sabine how things were going with her exercises, with McCoy, classes, etc. Sabine kept her answers short and at the end of the meeting, Cass hugged Sabine, who had discretely removed one glove, giving her the chance to establish a connection that wouldn’t make Cass’s eyes dilate. The girls continued to talk about weekend plans while Cass quickly shared a message with Sabine.

Agents have started following Bones. I just wanted you to know.

_Why?_

I don’t know. But I really think you should start telling him more so that he’s aware he’s being followed. Don’t tell him everything. Just enough, okay?

The girls pulled away from their hug and Sabine locked eyes with Cass. She’d gotten the message. Now it was up to her to act on it.

Sabine knew that Cass wrestled with her loyalty to Section 31 and her affection for the members of the Resurrection IV crew. Every time Cass had initiated contact like this with Sabine, it had worked to the crew’s advantage, provided they followed her advice. So there was no question in her mind that if Cass was telling her to open up to Leo, she should do it. The question was how much.

As she left Section 31 headquarters, her face was flushed. The idea that agents were now following Leo angered her beyond all limits. He had done nothing to warrant their attention, besides date her. What would the Section want with him? The answer hit her like an anvil. They wanted the two of them together. They wanted her to bond with him, in hopes that he would share her abilities. She was even angrier as she jumped in the hovercab and made her way back to campus. The last thing Section 31 was going to get was a telepathic Leo. They weren’t even getting her if she had anything to say about it.


	33. Chapter 33

“I need to talk to you,” Sabine began, moving to the couch so that she was facing Leo instead of the chess match they’d been playing. “There are some things I have to tell you but I cannot tell you as much as I would like. I need you to be okay with that.”

McCoy looked at Sabine in surprise. They were spending a quiet evening at his apartment; they’d gotten take-out and now he was teaching her 3D chess strategies. At some point in the evening, he’d planned on asking her one more time what language she spoke and he’d promised himself if she lied, he’d call her out on it. But maybe that conversation wouldn’t be happening after all.

“Okay…” he said tentatively, wondering where this would go.

“Promise me,” she said intensely. “Promise me that you will listen and not ask me fifty additional questions. I can only tell you so much right now.”

McCoy wasn’t ready to give away all his rights to questions. “Tell you what. I promise I won’t ask too many questions. But give me the chance to ask three after you’ve said your piece.”

She furrowed her brow and considered his offer. “Mmm…Three questions. After I am done.”

“I promise,” he said, hoping he hadn’t just backed himself into a corner.

She took a deep breath. Her pupils were dilated and her leg was shaking. She was nervous. Sometimes Sabine seemed to be made of steel and other times, McCoy was afraid the wind would blow her to pieces. Right now seemed to be one of the latter.

“I have not been truthful with you on a lot of things about my past. And I cannot tell you everything tonight. But I want you to know a few things. First, I have known everyone I introduced you to that night in the club since we were kids - teenagers. We grew up together as members of a secret supranational program that no longer exists. At a certain point, we fled it to save our own lives. For reasons I cannot tell you right now, we are now monitored by another organisation – Section 31 – that operates as an autonomous arm of Starfleet under the umbrella of the Federation. And when I say monitor, I mean we attend almost weekly meetings at their headquarters, take extra classes at their insistence, and are tracked by their agents. And now, I have good reason to think agents are following you too.”

She paused, looking intently at Leo’s face but his expression was unreadable.

“I do not know that you are in danger – I am not even sure we twelve are in danger, but I have deep reservations about Section 31. I do not want you to be followed and I do not know how to stop it. I think the Section intends to recruit me and my friends after we graduate, possibly against our will. That is everything I can tell you right now.”

She stopped. McCoy stared at her in stupefaction.

“You can ask your questions now,” she said nervously. “Please, say something.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” he replied.

“What about ‘I believe you’ or something along those lines?” she asked hopefully. He remained silent, staring at her as though he’d never seen her. Finally he spoke.

“I don’t know if I can say that. I believe some of what you said. I believe you’ve known your friends a long time. I know you take extra classes that have nothing to do with the medical or leadership tracks, though I’ve never understood why. But a secret Starfleet organisation under the Federation? Agents tracking you? Tracking me? That seems hard to believe. And another secret program that you all had to flee? Well, that sounds even more preposterous.”

“I know it does. I just need you to take my word for now and someday, I will be able to prove it to you.”

McCoy looked at her. What she’d just said. It reminded him of something but the memory was gone before he could grab it.

“So I get three questions now?”

“Yes,” she said anxiously, worried about what he would ask.

“What’s your native language – not Standard – the language you think in?”

His question threw Sabine off. She hadn’t expected him to ask about anything other than what she had just told him. But something in his tone told her that truth was the only way to go.

“I speak a language that is not modern Ivorian. It is not spoken today. And I was not born in the Ivory Coast. But my grandparents did live there – were from there – and I did visit them every summer when I was a child. That is all I can tell you for now.”

McCoy was surprised at her honesty, though it frustrated him that she wouldn’t give more details.

“Why did you start lying to me in the first place? You know I’ve been crazy about you from the beginning. I’ll still love you regardless of what the truth may be.” He tried not to sound accusatory.

“I was scared. I still am. We have been instructed to keep our past a secret. If I do not do so, I fear what might happen when Section 31 finds out. I am also afraid that you will not believe me or that you will hate me for what I have done.”

“What you’ve done? Sabine, I’m not gonna hate you for anything you’ve done. It’s not like you’ve murdered people.” He caught the look that passed over her face as he mentioned killing people.

“Wait, have you killed people?”

“Do you want that to be the last question?” she asked him, desperately hoping he would say no.

“Seriously? You’re gonna tell me that if you say yes, there’s no follow-up?”

She looked like a deer caught in the light of a hunter’s beacon. He sighed. She had pretty much answered the question without saying a word.

“Okay, no. That’s not my third question,” he paused, unsure of what he wanted to ask. There was so much to choose from.

“So, this Section whatever – how can you prove to me they exist?”

“What do you mean?” she countered, relieved that he hadn’t asked about killing people after all.

“Where’s it located? How do you know you’re being tracked?”

“Section 31 has headquarters downtown and all over the world – London, Tokyo, Delhi. It functions throughout the Federation so there are outposts all over the galaxy as well. And I know I am being tracked because they have a certain method they use. They follow us, listen in to conversations, and then we have to answer for those conversations in the weekly meeting.”

“So you’re telling me there’s a shadow organization run by the Federation that’s following you guys because why? Just because you left some other organisation?”

If Sabine wanted to get technical, she could point out to Leo that this was his fourth question and thus, she didn’t have to answer it. But she knew that wouldn’t go over well.

For his part, McCoy was starting to wonder if his girlfriend had some sort of mental disorder he’d never noticed before. He wondered what her medical files looked like.

“Yes. That is what I am telling you. They want us because we were trained to do the things they do, some of which are not good.”

“Like killing people?”

She sighed. “Yes, like killing people.”

McCoy stared at his girlfriend, sitting cross-legged on his couch, gazing at him with wide eyes. How could she think he’d believe that she was a trained killer? That wasn’t even a thing that existed now and even if it were, she was too…Sabine…to be an assassin. He shook his head.

“Look, I don’t know what game you’re playing but I don’t like it. If you don’t want to tell the truth or can’t tell the truth because of some compulsion, that’s fine. But don’t make up lies about secret groups and assassins. I’m not that gullible.”

She looked at him and he saw her eyes narrow. A flush crept into her cheeks and her jawline hardened.

“I am not lying – not right now,” she said as she stood up from the couch. “I am trying to finally tell you the truth – as much of it as I can. This is not a joke to me. This is my life. And you are reacting exactly as I feared.”

Her eyes flashed in anger and McCoy felt a certain irritation building within him.

“You’ve been lying to me from the start and now, you give me a bare-boned and insane story that I’m not allowed to question, and you’re angry with me because I don’t believe you?” He stood up as well and crossed his arms. Despite having a foot of height on her, he still felt dwarfed by her anger as she stared at him harshly.

“Yes, that is right. I lied to you. It was wrong. I did not want to and I would love nothing more than to tell you everything. But I cannot and I am asking you to understand that and trust that I will tell you everything when I can. I am also trying to keep you safe.”

“Keep me safe? Darlin’, I don’t exactly need your protection.” He thought back to the Christmas break and how she’d almost died. “I’m not so sure I would rely on you for protection anyway. You seem to get yourself into plenty of trouble.”

She clenched her fists at her side and closed her eyes, as if exasperated by him and it made him even crankier. How was this his fault? She had lied to him, put herself in danger, and now she was telling him nonsense stories.

“How long will I have to live down what happened at Christmas?” she asked, galled that he was throwing it back in her face.

“I don’t know,” he shot back. “How long are you going to claim that you’re lying for my own good? Your track record isn’t the greatest if you’re trying to prove to me that you’re someone I should trust with anything, let alone my life.”

His words felt like a physical slap to her face and they were Sabine’s breaking point. She glared at him.

“Want to trust me on something? Here is something true – I am leaving,” she said coldly, sidestepping him to gather her coat and bag. “I will take my trouble with me.”

“Yeah, fine. I’ll wait for you to come back in a few minutes since you can’t keep your word,” he knew it was a mistake the minute the words flew out of his mouth.

“Get ready to wait till Hell freezes over,” she yelled, her eyes dark with anger. She slammed his door behind her and McCoy was left in the silence of his apartment.

What had just happened? Why had he jumped to the nuclear reaction so quickly? And what the actual fuck was she trying to pull with that story? He didn’t know the answer to any of his questions but one thing he was sure of was he needed a drink, probably several. He commed Jim.

“Where are ya?” he growled into the communicator when Jim answered.

“At O’Shae’s. Come join us,” his roommate said blissfully oblivious to McCoy’s dark mood.

“I’ll be right there,” he replied, determined to drink until he could make sense of the argument he’d just had.


	34. Chapter 34

Sabine and McCoy avoided one another for several days after the fight in his apartment. Neither of them was ready to apologize to the other. Sabine was frustrated that Leo had thrown her lies and mistakes in her face, in addition to refusing to believe her when she was finally trying to come clean. She had always worried that if she told him the truth, he would either laugh in her face or leave her in a fit of anger. His reaction so far was not reassuring. She also didn’t care for how condescending he had been about Section 31. Why did he think it was impossible for a covert-ops organisation to exist? Was she just jaded by her own experiences? Did everyone in this modern society really believe that things were as peaceful as they were told via the news? Leo was smart – why couldn’t he open his mind to the fact that there might be something more – something dark – out there? Especially since she was trying to warn him for his own damn safety?

Meanwhile, McCoy was beyond irritated that even though she had admitted to lying, Sabine thought he would believe some ridiculous new story about secret organisations and trained killers. It sounded like something out of one of those old holomovies from the 20th century with spies and ridiculous villains who used top hats to kill people. How stupid did she think he was? Starfleet was built on the idea of peaceful exploration. Sure, bad things still happened from time to time – there were species like the Romulans and Klingons who might like to bring around the downfall of the Federation. But rationality and equanimity had prevailed up to now. This wasn’t a war-torn universe that needed secret groups to assassinate political leaders. The whole thing got more ludicrous each additional time he thought about it. To say nothing of his girlfriend, who was maybe 120 pounds soaking wet, and who had devoted herself to the study of medicine and healing people, being a trained killer. That was just a bridge too far.

They both wondered if this was the end of their relationship and took it out on the people around them. After four days, Jim, the Resurrection crew, and Cass were all ready to lock both of them in a room until someone came out alive or they killed one another. Anything was better than the two of them acting like angry badgers.

They shared a shift at the clinic five days after the fight and neither of them was looking forward to spending twelve hours together. The first couple of hours, they avoided each other in stony silence. The staff noticed the frost in the air immediately and set about speculating. In the third hour, McCoy was trying to perform a minor surgery on an Andorian cadet but complications kept arising and he called out for assistance. Sabine was the first to hear and she came to his side.

“What do you need?” she asked tightly.

“Can you apply pressure right here so the patient doesn’t bleed out on my table?”

She pressed down where he’d asked her and they finished the surgery together, each troubleshooting every complication that arose. After, they were both exhausted and covered in blue Andorian blood.

“You’ve, uh, got a little something on you there,” McCoy said, gesturing to Sabine’s entire body.

“You do not look so great either,” she retorted.

They stared at one another for a moment and McCoy finally broke the silence.

“Are we gonna talk about this?”

“I do not know. Are you going to accuse me of more lying?”

“Only if you keep lying.” They moved to the break room and tossed their disposable surgical aprons in the biohazard rubbish bin.

“So you are still convinced I am lying about what I told you the other night?”

“Can you give me a good reason to believe you?”

“I cannot make you believe me,” she sighed. “I want to tell you everything. But I cannot. And I do not want to hear how ridiculous you think my story is. If you think this is outlandish, just wait. It does not get better. If you do not want to be with me, there is nothing I can do to change that.”

“I want to be with you. Dammit, woman, I wanna be with you more than I can say. But you’re so goddamn frustrating. Just give me a straight answer.” He turned away from her and she heard him mumble, “Everything’s a fuckin’ riddle with you.”

“I cannot give you a straight answer,” she yelled. “That is the fucking point. I want to be honest – I hate lying – I am not even good at it! But I need you to trust me for one damned fucking shitty-ass minute when I tell you I need time.” If he hadn’t been so annoyed with her, he would have laughed at her attempt to use every curse word in one sentence.

A nursing cadet walked in on both of them and they turned to glare at her. She slunk back out. This was the problem with work relationships, she thought to herself, on the way to tell all the other nurses the doctors were fighting.

“Where was all this when we started dating? Why couldn’t you have just told me then that you needed time before you could tell me anything? Why all the lies and how am I supposed to know when the lies stop and the truth starts?”

They glared at one another for a moment and McCoy decided to press the issue.

“You won’t even tell me why you think in a dead language no one has spoken since WWIII.”

She was taken aback by his words. While Sabine had suspected from his question the other night that he knew more about the language issue than she was comfortable with him knowing, he had now confirmed it. She didn’t know how he’d figured it out – had his mother said something to him? It didn’t seem likely based on her interactions with Eleanora but how was she to know? She’d met the woman for a week whereas Leo was her child – if Eleanora thought he should know, Sabine couldn’t fault the woman too much.

“I speak a dead language because where I am from, it is not a dead language,” she chose her words carefully. The difference between ‘where’ and ‘when’ was how many more questions he would ask.

“And where is that?”

“I am not ready to tell you yet,” she replied sadly.

“Of course not.” McCoy sank down into one of the chairs, exhausted from trying to solve the puzzle that was his girlfriend. If she was still his girlfriend.

“I know I have done nothing to win your trust,” Sabine said quietly, crossing the space between them and kneeling beside him, one hand on his knee and the other on top of his hands. “But I am asking for it anyway because I love you and I do not want this to end. If you want to be with me then give me a chance. I am asking for two months. Give me two months. I will tell you everything, I will have proof, and if I fail to tell you everything by this time in March, then leave me.”

He pondered the offer as they stared at one another. Goddamn, he’d missed her the past few days. Could it be she wasn’t lying and there really was some mysterious Starfleet group following her, coercing her to lie about her past? It seemed so farfetched. On the other hand, he knew she’d lost several people she loved…could she be in some danger? What kind of partner was he if he didn’t believe her and she turned out to be right? And had she really killed before? He couldn’t picture it but there were a lot of things about Sabine he hadn’t expected.

“Two months?” he asked, skepticism in his voice.

“Two months. I swear on the souls of my parents.”

Sabine wasn’t sure what had made her choose those words – her parents seemed like the most sacred things she could make an oath on and she needed him to know she was serious.

McCoy caught the hitch in her voice when she mentioned her parents. Everything he thought he knew about her led him to believe she was being sincere. But did that mean she was sincerely insane? Still, if she could provide proof….

He stared at her for a minute and it felt like water torture waiting for him to accept her offer. She broke off eye contact and gazed at the floor wondering if he would reject the timeline, reject her explanations, reject _her_ altogether. But then he tipped her face up to bring her eyes back to his. When she looked in those eyes, she knew he had agreed.

“It’s a deal,” he said softly, standing up and pulling her up too. He took her in his arms and rested his head on top of hers. She wrapped her arms around him in return and the four nursing cadets who had snuck outside the break room door to see if they could hear the fight found themselves sighing happily instead as they watched the couple embrace through the window.

“The nursing cadets are spying on us,” she whispered.

McCoy took his shoe off and chucked it at the door while holding onto Sabine with his other arm. They both heard the clamor and cries as it hit the door.


	35. Chapter 35

Cass stripped her clothes off and jumped into the sonic shower. While she was certain that Section 31 had bugged her dorm room (too bad for her chatty roommate and too bad for the agents that had to watch said roommate have sex with her boyfriend), she felt certain that even they wouldn’t cross the line and put a holovid device in the bathroom. So when she needed to reach out to Aubrey, the shower was where she went. An hour ago, she’d felt the familiar mental pinch that meant Aubrey wanted her to reach out and she’d gotten home as soon as possible. In the safety of the sonic stall, she allowed her eyes to dilate as she reached out to her sister.

Hey, what’s up?

_Oh, you know. I was just hacking Starfleet files like you do –_

You promised me you’d leave Starfleet alone. The last time almost got me fired…

_Yeah, well, I lied and I’ve got something I think you’re gonna find really fucking interesting. Sending it via an encrypted file to your personal PADD right now._

What is it?

_Take a look yourself. It would take too long to explain to you._

I hope you don’t get us both killed. 

_Have I gotten either of us killed yet? Have some faith in your big sis._

Faith in you is exactly the kind of thing that will get me killed.

_I’ll ignore that._

No, really, please don’t. Now what the fuck have you stolen from Starfleet this time?

_This is some serious shit. I’m not taking any chances with this one. The encryption is pretty intense so listen up…_

Aubrey explained to her sister how to open the file and after a few more minutes of discussion, the girls parted ways. Cass was once again alone in her head. She got out of the shower, dressed, and grabbed the PADD she only used for communications like this – ones she didn’t want tracked. Looked like it was time for a walk in the park.

Cass knew that agents had a harder time tracking their targets in public places so she hopped a hovercab over to one of the busier parks in the area and sat down to break the encryption code on the file her sister had sent. It took a while but when she finally got through, she hopped back into a hovercab. The safest place to read something private was in a hovercab. So she started reading. And then reading some more. And even more. She kept switching hovercabs to take her from one side of town to another, knowing that if they were tracking her, Section 31 would be suspicious of someone going from one side of town to another back and forth but she couldn’t help herself. She needed to read everything; she couldn’t pull her eyes away from the documents on her PADD, even though she wanted to do anything but read the horrors in front of her. By the time she was done, Cass was shaking. She didn’t want that file on her PADD. She didn’t want this life, didn’t want the choices laid out in front of her. Section 31 had finally found a way to push her over the edge. She needed to get a hold of the Resurrection cadets. It was time to plan a way out.

Adjoa and Sabine were the first two cadets she reached out to; in truth, she’d just meant to contact Sabine but Adjoa was there in her room as well so that was killing two birds with one stone. From there, she would have to rely on Sabine to spread the word. It was too dangerous to keep hovering around town, reaching out to each crew member. Sabine would need to contact each of them via touch to arrange the meeting. But it was non-negotiable. They all needed to be there, it needed to be away from Section 31 headquarters, and the best time to meet would be in the evening at another public place, when tracking agents were less likely to be present and less able to accurately monitor their moves. Cass had never felt a fear like this before. She knew she’d be on her own for this one – Uncle Chris would demand proof if she went to him and then she’d have to confess that she and Aubrey had been talking. She needed Aubrey to remain hidden because right now, it was looking like Aubrey would be the only way out for all of them.

Sabine got to work on contacting the rest of the cadets – it was easier to find the girls – they all lived in either Sabine’s building or the building next to hers. For the guys, things were a bit more complicated. Cass had been very specific that Sabine needed to make every touch look accidental or natural. She couldn’t just storm into the men’s dorms and start palming the male crew members. And each crew member needed to keep it to themselves. No conversations with one another about the meeting. Cass was taking no chances with this. So Sabine did her best to find all of the guys, either at the library, at lunch, in classes, or in the rec center. She managed to reach everyone within a couple of days. The meeting time had been set for that Friday. They were headed out to the clubs again.

Sabine and Adjoa were the first two to show up and they went through their normal actions – got drinks at the bar, grabbed a table big enough for the group. The rest of the crew members trickled in. In contrast to their last night out dancing, the atmosphere was subdued among the cadets. If anyone were watching, they might think it was weird that no one had brought boyfriends or girlfriends from outside the crew with them. They might also notice how everyone in the group was slightly more jumpy than the other club-goers. When Cass arrived, she took one look at them and reached out to Sabine.

You guys could not look more obvious. Go dance or something. 

_You want us to dance? What is this, Cass?_

I want you all to not look so fucking conspicuous.  

Cass rolled her eyes. Did she have to do everything around here? For a group of trained and highly-skilled fighters, the Resurrection crew sure was stupid sometimes. She watched as several crew members dispersed and spread out on the dance floor, while others stayed at the table, drinking and talking. That was more like it. Unless Section 31 had found telepaths that could hide their signals, she and Sabine were the only two telepaths in the club. Which meant she was safe to reach out to everyone. Cass made her way onto the dance floor. She went up to Anthony and started dancing with him. After a few minutes, she reached out to him and explained what he needed to do next. A few more songs played, and the group became restless, wondering why they’d been dragged out in such cloak and dagger circumstances. At that point, Anthony and Cass started making out on the dance floor and then exited to a secluded corner of the club. To a passer-by, the couple looked like one of those random hook-ups that happened all the time in nightclubs. Using Anthony as a human shield, Cass reached out to everyone.

Guys, you know I’ve always done what I can to look out for you. I need you to listen closely to me right now. Save the questions till I’m done. I came upon high-level information the other day. Section 31 is messing with some serious shit and I think it’s time we start planning, should we need to make a clean break and get out of here.

_When you say get out of here?_

I mean get off this planet, leave Starfleet, go into hiding – start over. And I said no interruptions.

Cass filled the crew in on almost everything she’d read in the file. They were, predictably, upset and she had to keep reminding them to act natural, lest any agents that might be around see any one of them acting strangely. They had tons of questions and she did her best to field them. After what felt like hours, the conversation ended, with tentative plans having been agreed to by everyone.


	36. Chapter 36

A week after the group meeting in the club, Sabine was lying with her head on McCoy’s lap, trying to stay awake and follow the plot of the holomovie they were watching. It had been an exhausting seven days. The clinic had been short-staffed so she had pulled extra shifts there, classes were in full swing, she was still attending extra trainings with Cass and Agent Varik, and there was the whole “escape route plan” which was requiring more of Sabine than the other crew members since she needed to pass messages on telepathically from one person to the next. On top of all of that, she still wasn’t certain she and Leo were one hundred percent over their last fight and she knew she had a deadline to keep, in terms of telling him the truth. She wondered if it even mattered now that everyone, herself included, was making plans to disappear at a moment’s notice. And that line of thought wrecked her because she didn’t want to give up this life. But if what Cass said was true, they needed to be ready. She looked up at Leo and he felt her shift her head so he looked down at her.

“You okay?” he asked. He’d noticed her reticence when they’d gotten together to run a couple of miles. After their run, they’d gone to his place and made dinner then settled in to watch a holomovie but she’d been…withdrawn all evening. He didn’t know what was wrong but something was off with her.

“Mmm-hmm. Just really tired.” _Not to mention I think I might have to leave you because Section 31 is going to ruin all our lives and I cannot tell you anything about it. And even if I could, you would not believe me._ She kept her thoughts in French and to herself.

“You seem down tonight,” he replied, running his fingers through her curls. It killed her to see that look of concern in his gorgeous eyes. She reminded herself that if she fled, it would be better for him. He’d be safer.

“No more than usual,” she countered. _It is starting to be the truth – depressed is my new normal._

He was still looking down at her and she held his gaze for a moment. _My god, you are beautiful._ She felt like she’d been moving around in a haze of sorrow the last week and being here with him was the only bright spot. _And even now all I can think about is what I stand to lose._

She sat up and looked at him. He paused the holomovie.

“What is it?”

“I just…I love you so much,” she stammered. “I need you to know that.” _I need you to understand that if I leave you, it will be the second hardest parting in my life, just below Dinesh and right above my parents._

“I do, darlin’. And you know I love you back. What’s gotten into you tonight?”

“I do not know,” she went back to lying on the couch with her head on his thigh. _I know exactly what has gotten into me – I think I am going to lose you._

“Is this about the deadline? You know I’m not gonna hold you to a specific date. Don’t get me wrong, I want you to tell me the truth, and I’d prefer sooner than later. But if it’s causing you all this stress, just tell me you need more time.”

She looked up at him again and he bent down to kiss her forehead.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “I do not deserve you.”

“Yeah, I know. But you’re stuck with me.”

 _I love that smirk you get whenever you make a wry remark._ She reached up and stroked his cheek with her hand. Even gloved, she loved touching him, enjoying that he was hers to touch.

He grabbed her hand in his and turned the holomovie back on. They resumed watching it and Sabine felt her eyes grow heavier and heavier. She closed them for a moment, promising herself she wasn’t going to fall asleep – it was just a second to give them a rest….

“Sabine!”

McCoy’s panicked voice awakened her from the nightmare she’d been trapped in. She held her position and looked around the room. Every item save the couch they were on was floating about one and a half meters off the ground.

“Do not move,” she cautioned him. “If you do, I may accidentally hit you with something.”

“I’m not so much as takin’ a breath,” he replied, his voice edgy.

Slowly, she pointed to the largest levitating item in the room, the holostand, and motioned it downward. The holovid player had fallen off of it and she hoped it wasn’t broken. From the stand, she moved her concentration to the armchair, pointing at it with her left hand and bringing it down. One by one, she brought every hovering object down. Afterwards, she sat up and looked at McCoy. He was shaken.

“I fell asleep,” she surmised. _And then I tried to destroy your apartment because I cannot handle my nightmares._

“Yeah. I could tell you were sleepin’ and I didn’t want to wake you. You seemed so exhausted earlier and looked so peaceful in your sleep… at first, anyway. I nodded off too…till the sounds woke me up.”

“I am so sorry,” she said, rubbing her eyes with her hands. “I did not mean to do that.” _How the fuck does one adequately apologize for making everything in the apartment lift off the ground?_

She got off the couch and looked at the items that had fallen and broken – the holovid, the lamp, a print whose frame was now cracked, and other small objects.

“I can replace all of this,” she offered, mentally calculating how many credits she’d need. _It is a good thing I was not planning on any big purchases – besides that one-way ticket off this planet._

“Don’t worry about that – are you okay?”

She looked up in surprise at him. “Yes. I am fine.” _I do this all the time in my dorm room._

Waking up to levitating furniture was normal for her. But she realized what had just happened was very not normal for most people. Leo got off the couch and came over to where she was standing. He put his arms around her.

“You’re not fine. Making everything in the room fly isn’t fine. And you were wailing before I woke you…”

When he’d woken her up, he’d done so more because of the shriek she was emitting. The furniture was freaky but that sound coming out of her was worse.

 _Mmm, that is a new detail._ She didn’t know she talked in her sleep. _But is it really talking if I am screaming in agony?_

“I told you before – I do not sleep well.”

He cupped her face in his hands. “What happened to you?” He wanted to know what she’d seen, what had been done to her, what she’d been forced to do that had scarred her so badly, her nights were filled with such an extreme terror.

“A lot,” she answered. “Pick the worst thing you can think of and it likely happened to me or someone I loved somewhere along the way.”

_I am so tired of trying to keep it together. Tired of being unable to engage in normal activities, tired of lies, tired of covert meetings and clandestine objectives. I just want to close my eyes and not wake up for a few days._

“Jesus, Sabs,” he took her back in his arms. “Do you ever get sick of keeping it all inside?”

“Every day,” she whispered. “Every fucking day. And when I try to let it out, you do not believe me.”

She hadn’t meant to blame him or re-open the wound from their last fight. It was a thought that came tumbling out of her mouth instead of staying locked up inside. She felt him sigh and she regretted saying anything. But he didn’t offer a rebuttal. Just continued to rub her back and rest his head on top of hers.

McCoy had understood when she’d explained the telekinesis to him. The words had made sense and he’d believed she had nightmares and made things move in her sleep. But he’d been so focused on the shared dreams that he hadn’t really thought about what it would be like to wake up in a room where everything was floating or smashed on the ground and your girlfriend was shouting like she was being tortured. It was one thing to understand and another altogether to experience it. He stood there, holding Sabine in his arms, feeling truly helpless. He hated that feeling and he hated hearing the resignation in her voice.

Later, in her room, lying in her bed, Sabine thought back to the look on Leo’s face when she had awakened. It had been full of fear. He’d been afraid of her. She sighed deeply. It probably wasn’t a bad idea to be a little scared of her.


	37. Chapter 37

“Eh, get off my bread,” Adjoa slapped Sabine’s hand away from her plate. The two women were at lunch in a cozy restaurant away from campus. Sabine stuck her tongue out at her friend and pointed at the slice of bread, lifting it off Adjoa’s plate and motioning it onto hers. Adjoa stared at her.

“My bread now. It is on my plate,” Sabine said happily.

“You could just ask for more. No need to show off,” Adjoa grumbled, grabbing the remaining piece of bread from her plate and using it to sop up the last of the sauce from her meal.

“So, you really did have a major breakthrough,” Adjoa stated, after the two women sat in silence finishing their meals. She cast a sly look at Sabine. “Is this going to become normal mealtime entertainment?”

“No, of course not. We will probably get pulled in for levitating the bread.”

“You get pulled in, not me. I am innocent,” Adjoa replied with a fake sanctimony.

“That is not how it works. You are guilty by association.”

Adjoa grunted in confirmation. “So tell me more about the breakthrough.”

Sabine had taken a major step forward in her training. It had started with the telepathy. After months of feeling like any progress she made was incidental, Sabine had suddenly started controlling and blocking more easily. Cass had told her this was how it went. You would progress for a bit, then plateau, then have a huge leap in mastery of your abilities, over and over till you had full control. Sabine had questioned Cass’s wisdom when she’d felt like the progress she was making wasn’t sufficient. But now, she was seeing tangible results. And in the last week, she’d discovered that she could finally control her telekinesis without using pain as a trigger. She’d spent most of her limited free time in her dorm, lifting and setting things down at her discretion, simply by pointing at them.

“What do you want to know?” she asked her friend.

“How does it feel? Will it help with the sleep issues? Are you going to start reading everyone’s minds? The usual.”

“It feels good. Like I am not a child with a firehose anymore. I do not know about the sleep issues but I have had fewer nightmares lately. And you know I would never read your mind. Just the minds of everyone we dislike.” She knew Adjoa would take that last sentence as a joke.

“I am proud of you, oh!” Adjoa looked at Sabine affectionately. “It is about time we have some good news.” Her smile faded at that and Sabine felt her own smile wane.

The past few weeks had been rough. Emergency escape plans were being firmed up and now it was a waiting game to see if they’d actually need to flee. Cass had been strangely quiet lately, which worried the group. They knew she was being watched just as they were but it bothered them to lose regular contact with the normally raunchy and exuberant handler they’d all come to trust. Adjoa had been fighting on and off with Shrax, in part because she had not told him about the information Cass had shared with them and he didn’t understand why she was so stressed all of a sudden. And Sabine had backed away from spending as much time with Leo as she had before accidentally falling asleep and wrecking his living room. He hadn’t let her replace anything she’d broken and had been more than supportive of her but she had still kept a low profile, per instructions from Cass. She knew Cass’s plan was a good one but she hated pulling away.

“We have been short on happiness lately,” Sabine agreed sadly.

“That is life, yes? Cycles of good and bad.”

“I think we have had more than our fair share of bad,” Sabine responded.

“Eh, maybe? It is hard to compare because each person carries their own problems with the same weight,” Adjoa said philosophically. “You might think you have had it worse but your deepest pain is equivalent to the deepest pain someone else feels. You cannot win a competition of sorrow.”

“I hate when you get deep,” Sabine grumbled. “Can I not just enjoy being depressed?”

“Not so long as we are looking at dessert,” Adjoa replied with delight as the waiter took their plates and left them with the dessert menu.

“Mmmm, I will have to run more,” Sabine mused, grabbing her menu and taking a look.

“Worth it,” the other woman contended.

The waiter came back around to take their orders.

“We will split a slice of the ‘Better Than Sex’ chocolate cake,” Adjoa requested. The waiter left and Adjoa looked at her friend coyly.

“Speaking of sex,” she started and Sabine knew exactly where she was headed. “Now that you are controlling your abilities more, are you going to finally have sex with the good doctor?”

Sabine rolled her eyes. Adjoa had finally caved and started harassing her about her sex life. Great.

“I do not know,” she replied honestly. “For one, I am unsure if I am ready –”

“Only way to know is to try,” Adjoa interjected.

“Let me finish,” Sabine admonished her. “Even if I am ready, I do not know if sleeping with Leo is a good idea. What if we do go for a walk? Would it not be better to keep things simple?” Going for a walk was their code for fleeing.

“You worry about things you cannot foresee,” Adjoa commented as the waiter brought them their dessert.

“Maybe. But there is also the connection between us. I do not want it to get stronger. I am not ready for another lifebond.”

“But that takes time, yes? You can surely have sex with the man once or twice.”

“He is not a one-night stand! I love him and it is not fai –”

“If you love him, why are you here with me right now? You should go find him and show him you love him. Stop hiding from everything.”

When it was just the two of them on their own, Adjoa was more inclined to chastise Sabine for being too cautious. She would defend Sabine’s risk aversion in meetings with the other crew members but she privately urged the other woman to test her boundaries.

“I am not hiding. I am being practical and trying to prevent future heartache. You remember what it was like when Dinesh died. You want me to put someone else through that?”

Adjoa reflected on what Sabine had said. She knew Sabine had a point. If they needed to suddenly flee, she would have to leave behind Shrax and the thought of it had kept her up almost every night since Cass had met them in the club. But at the same time, maybe things would work out. Maybe love would win.

“You are not bonded to him. It is just a connection and we do not even know for sure that it is a bond connection. Why can you not just let yourself be happy? Just once?”

“I am happy,” Sabine said unconvincingly.

“You could be happier,” Adjoa retorted, not completely allowing the lie to pass.

“We all could,” Sabine speculated.

“Yes, but you in particular. I do not know anyone more in need of a – what does Theo say? – shag! You need a good shag.”

Sabine rolled her eyes again. The two women continued to chat as they ate their dessert and Sabine thought about the question of whether she should sleep with Leo or not. Her heart, and a few other parts, wanted it. But her head said no.


	38. Chapter 38

There was a method to Cass’s madness. She had deliberately chosen Anthony as her “make-out partner” and human shield in the club because she knew if they were being tracked, such a breach of handler/subject protocol would be reported and she’d get pulled into her supervisor’s office for yet another infraction. Just add it to the list. Cass had never been one to follow the rules she considered dumb. But so far, no one had said anything to her about that night so she felt safe in assuming they had not been followed.

The harder parts of her plan were the ones that involved pulling away from the crew members and trying to protect Sabine and McCoy. She had to distance herself from the crew because there was too much of a risk they’d get caught inadvertently saying something about the escape plans. Best to avoid most of them and let the plans fall into place via Sabine’s efforts communicating with everyone. She knew it placed a burden on the other telepath but she also knew Sabine could handle it. Plausible deniability on her part was important if things didn’t work out and she was left behind. But the hardest part was helping Sabine make it look like she and McCoy were on the verge of breaking up. Both women had agreed that it was best for Sabine and McCoy if they could downplay how much she felt for him. Since that day Cass had met with Sabine in her office and told the other telepath Bones was being tracked, they had been working on a plan to make it look as though the relationship was fizzling. Cass knew it tore Sabine up to avoid McCoy and she worried that if they did too good a job, they would accidentally end up putting a real kibosh on the romance. It was a fine line to walk without cluing Bones into the plot. But given how poorly Sabine’s attempt to tell him more had gone, they both agreed he should be left out of it. More importantly, if telepathic agents ever brought him in for questioning, they’d discern whether he knew about a plan so keeping him in the dark was really the best move all around. It just felt like shit to see her friends unhappy.

Cass didn’t blame Bones for not believing Sabine’s attempted, abbreviated explanation of her past and her current relationship with Section 31. She often wondered if she would believe half the things she’d seen and done if she were in Len’s position. To ask Bones, a man of science who wanted cold, hard proof, to believe in something like secret organisations was a tall order. Hell, most Federation officials would deny the existence of a group like Section 31 and they would believe the words coming out of their mouths. Section 31 was the galaxy’s best-kept secret. So yeah, she couldn’t fault Bones for his skepticism. But Cass had seen enough, had participated in enough bat-shit insane missions, that nothing surprised her anymore and nothing was outside her realm of possibility. She’d also been around long enough to know there was, indeed a dark side to the Federation, to the galaxy as a whole. If she had ever been at one of the women’s crew lunches, she would have fallen on the same side as Maria, Mía, and Sabine in an argument about the “virtues” of this modern era. Cass was jaded. And what she’d learned from the files Aubrey had sent her had done nothing to make her feel any better about the times she found herself in.

But she had another thing occupying her mind right now. Sabine’s sudden achievements during their telepath trainings meant she could finally show the other telepath some moves which might prove useful in the future. The trick was to show Sabine what she wanted without Agent Varik realizing what was going on. He was a Betazoid like her but her abilities were stronger and as long as she stayed focus, she felt confident she could hoodwink him. They met Sabine on campus for trainings, blocking out time in one of the gym’s many rec rooms to work on her exercises. Today was going to be like any other day…except Cass would need to maintain two connections – one in which Agent Varik was present, and another, between only her and Sabine that would remain hidden from the other agent.

Cass actually looked forward to these kinds of mental challenges. She liked pushing the limits of her skills. What Cass was less fond of was the unexpected surprises that might arise because Sabine was so inexperienced and so powerful. It was like handling a malfunctioning torpedo. Still, midway through the lesson, things were running smoothly.

 _Okay Sabine, try blocking my thoughts again_ , Agent Varik said through the connection the three of them were sharing. Sabine complied and Cass offered her some tips on saving her energy with more efficient blocking. But the more interesting lesson was happening between just Cass and Sabine.

So, I want to teach you how to erase and replace memories.

_Why would I ever do that? You know I hate meddling with minds like that._

Yeah, yeah – save the Snow White routine for someone who cares. You may need to use this someday in the future. Just listen and learn and you can thank me later.

_I do not like this at all._

I know. You never like the fun stuff.

Despite her reservations, Sabine allowed the other telepath to show her how to erase memories. After, Cass showed her how to create new memories that could fill the place of the deleted ones, if need be. Everything was going great till Cass asked Sabine to try it for herself.

It was unclear exactly how it happened, but suddenly, Agent Varik was sprawled out on the floor, staring vacantly at the ceiling.

Oh shit, Sabs. I think you erased his memories instead of the practice memory I sent you. 

_Bordel de merde! What do we do? Oh fuck._

Calm down. We can fix this. 

_How?_

I don’t know. Lemme think.

Agent Varik blinked and looked at both girls.

“Where are we? How did I get here?”

Sabine looked like she was one more question away from a nervous breakdown. Great, that was all Cass needed – two telepaths melting down in front of her.

Cass knew the only way to get Agent Varik to recover was to make him remember Sabine erasing his memories. Simple enough but then he was gonna have a shit-ton of questions about how Sabine suddenly knew how to erase memories. Cass made a quick decision.

“Agent Varik, listen to me. What is your job?”

Cass walked the other agent through a series of questions that placed him in the position to realize he’d just had his memory of the last hour erased. As soon as Cass saw that he remembered, she clouded his mind.

Okay, pay attention. I’m gonna give you a live demo of replacing a memory.

_Cass, I do not –_

Can it, Virgin Mary. We fix his memory so he doesn’t remember you know how to do this or he runs back and tells Section 31 about your new-found skill. 

_Okay._

Cass picked up the fallen agent and quickly replaced his memory so that he believed they had only been working on blocking. The rest of the session went by without incident. Afterward, Cass and Sabine walked back to their dorms. Cass knew the other woman was troubled by the lessons Cass was trying to teach her.

Look, a lot of people learn to do things they don’t like or they hope they never have to actually use in real life. Take hand-to-hand combat lessons.

_You want to compare what happened back there with hand-to-hand?_

Yeah, why not? How many people here really want to handle phasers and yet we all have to learn how.

_I am pretty sure the entire engineering department loves handling phasers._

Alright, true. But we even make you medical geeks learn and you guys hate fighting and killing. Just trust me on this one, okay?

Sabine didn’t answer but her silence was concession enough.

As they were walking, they saw John approaching. Sabine removed one of her gloves. John was the designated member in charge of determining pick-up locations for all the cadets, should they need to flee. He had always been the navigator for the crew and so it made sense for him to take care of location logistics. The three friends talked for a moment and then Cass left the other two while Sabine grabbed John’s hand and the two of them continued walking together, past several classrooms towards the library. While their vocal conversation remained generic, John communicated new information about three viable locations through the connection Sabine had created. When they got to the library, they gave each other a quick hug and then parted ways.

McCoy had two classes to attend this semester. He was sitting in one of them, trying to listen to the professor drone on about the importance of command leadership protocol when he looked out the window. There, walking by for anyone to see, was Sabine, hand in hand with the man he knew she had slept with at some point. And she wasn’t wearing a glove. McCoy felt anger simmer within him. Sabine had been hard to find the past couple of weeks. When she did get together with him, she was distant and thus far, she’d done nothing to clear up his questions about her past. He knew they had more time left before her self-imposed deadline but he was wondering if she really meant to stick to it. And now she was being cozy with a former lover? Maybe telepathically communicating with him? She hadn’t ever done the same with him. What the hell was going on with his girlfriend?


	39. Chapter 39

“Maybe this will help. It’s a list of common contractions. What I’d do, if I were you, is choose one to focus on for a week or a month or however long you think you’ll need. Once you concentrate on using that contraction for long enough that it starts feeling natural, cross it off and move on to the next.”

Sabine had left John at the library and gone to the McCoy/Kirk apartment. She knew Leo wouldn’t be out of class yet but she wanted to surprise him when he got there. She was hoping they could enjoy the afternoon together. When she arrived, Jim was there and they’d started talking. One thing led to another and somehow, she was now taking grammar advice from the one cadet who went out of his way to appear as though he had never gone to a single class in his life. But it was sweet. He’d made her a list of contractions, conjugating common verbs for her and she appreciated his effort to help her sound more natural when speaking Standard.

They were still talking grammar when McCoy returned to the apartment. He opened the door and stopped short when he saw Sabine sitting at the table with his best friend.

“Didn’t expect to see you here.” Something in his tone set off alarms in Sabine’s head. He was angry.

“I thought I would stop by and see if you wanted to spend some time together this afternoon.” She proceeded with caution, unsure of what had gotten him riled up.

“Glad you could make time for me. I’m sure your schedule is pretty crowded. Am I afternoon boyfriend now? What parts of the day do you give to John? Is there anyone else you need to squeeze in?”

Jim sat quietly, taking a sudden interest in the list he’d written for Sabine.

“What are you talking about?” Sabine was legitimately confused. Why was he bringing John up?

“Oh come on. Don’t play innocent. I saw you today. Why don’t you admit that you’re back with him? Why are you stringing me along?”

“Back with who? John? What is going on with you? I am not back with him – I have never been with him.”

“You are such a goddamned liar! You slept with him – I remember you thinking about it. Why can’t you ever tell the truth?”

A lot dawned on Sabine all at once. McCoy must have seen her walking hand-in-hand with John. And he had apparently retained something from their mental connection over Christmas about the one-night stand she had with John. But why was he so quick to jump to the worst conclusions?

“Are we really doing this? In front of him?” She gestured to Jim.

“Why not? He doesn’t lie to me about every damn thing.”

“I did not lie. I was never _with_ John. We had a one-night stand after Dinesh died. I do not think one-night stands count as being _with_ someone. I have never held your prior rendezvous against you. We were grieving – Dinesh was like a brother to him. It was a drunken mistake and it never went beyond that one night.”

“So that explains why you’re holding hands with him around campus?”

Jim had stopped pretending he wasn’t listening to them fight and now his head was turning back and forth between McCoy and Sabine like he was at a tennis match. Both he and McCoy noticed how guilty Sabine looked when McCoy called her out on the hand-holding. What neither of them realized was her guilt stemmed from what she and John were communicating and how she couldn’t tell Leo about it rather than from any hidden feelings for the fellow crew member.

“I was holding his hand because we were communicating. It was not because I have any feelings for him.”

“And what were you communicating about? What is so damn important you couldn’t just talk to him like a normal person?”

“Does it matter? Anything I tell you will not suffice, will it?” This wasn’t how Sabine had pictured the afternoon going at all.

That seemed to stop McCoy for a moment and Sabine pressed on.

“Whatever I say, you will ignore. You have already made up your mind that I am cheating on you. This is not worth discussing.” Sabine gathered her bag and coat, making a move to leave. It occurred to her that maybe part of why McCoy was so mad stemmed from the fact that she had not ever engaged him telepathically like she had John.

“Maybe if you didn’t lie so often, I’d be more willing to believe you.”

“It is very convenient, being able to blame everything on my lies. You want truth? Have some truth.” Sabine dropped her bag and stripped off her glove while she was speaking. She strode over to McCoy and grabbed his hand with her gloved hand then pressed the ungloved palm against his. It happened so fast he didn’t have the time to push her away.

Sabine unleashed several memories on McCoy, taking care not to overwhelm him. The first memories involved that drunken night shortly after Dinesh had died.

_She didn’t remember much of the actual hook-up the next day because she’d been drunk out of her mind and grief was clouding everything. She had been unconscious for several days after Dinesh’s death, and had awakened to find she was still alive – it angered her. She wanted to be dead. But there was John, his grief broadcasting from his face and she’d sought solace with him. They had pulled out a bottle of shitty gin, started reminiscing…. The next thing she knew, the bottle was empty and she woke up in his bed with nothing but blurred memories of kissing him, begging him to help her forget.  She regretted it instantly. It was so awkward being crammed in that tiny station with someone she’d considered such a close friend while they both avoided each other for several days. They’d never been attracted to one another. It was a decision made in mourning because they missed their closest friend. John was the last piece of Dinesh she had left and vice versa. Later, they cleared the air and never spoke of it again._

Next, she showed him a collage of times she had hung out with the other crew members.

_Not once did her thoughts wander to John, except as a friend and someone she cared about like family. She felt no romance for him, simply friendship and familial affection._

Then, she showed him the conversation they’d had earlier that day. It was a risk and she knew he’d ask questions but she was so sick of being called a liar.

_John listed three locations – Bangalore, India; Montreal, Canada; Mexico City, Mexico. He gave her the details on where to meet at each location. They discussed the feasibility of each location. She was in no way titillated by holding hands with the other cadet._

Finally, she closed off access to her memories and let McCoy feel how humiliated she was that he had accused her of cheating and lying in front of another person, even if it was just Jim. She shared her sadness over the fight with him. Finally, not wanting to end things on a sad or angry note, she let him feel how much she loved him even if she was angry right now.

She pulled her hand away from McCoy’s and looked at him indignantly.

“Are you satisfied? Do you need more? I do not lie about everything.”

He stood mutely before her, still absorbing everything she’d shown him.

“I am sure you will have questions. You always do. Maybe you can ask them another time when you are not set on being an asshole.” She put her glove back on, threw her coat around her shoulders and grabbed her bag.

“Bye, Jim,” she said to the other cadet in the room, who held out the list he’d made for her so she could grab it. “Hope you enjoyed the show.” With that, she spun around and left.

Sabine didn’t have to wait long for the next conversation. That evening, as she was studying in her dorm room, there was a knock on the door. She opened it to find Leo on the other side. Without saying a word, she stepped aside so he could enter the room. He shut the door behind himself.

Sabine returned to her bed, where she had several PADDs open to various medical texts. She wasn’t going to start the conversation. Instead she just looked up at her visitor and raised her eyebrow expectantly.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, pulling the chair out from her desk so he could sit in front of her. “I was a jerk.”

“Yes, you were.”

“I felt like you were pulling away from me. The last few times we’ve managed to meet, it’s been like you weren’t really there. And then when I saw you with John today, I assumed the worst. You didn’t deserve that and I’m sorry I did it in front of Jim. I shouldn’t have embarrassed you like that.” He was sincere and he stared at her with remorse in his eyes.

“That is not the way I wanted this afternoon to go. Not at all,” she replied. “I know things have not been the best lately. I wanted to spend time with you today and make it up to you.”

He held out his hands and she placed hers in them. They sat quietly for a moment, gazing at one another.

“You have questions?” She knew he would and she hoped he’d realize that her willingness to answer them would show him her desire to forget the afternoon’s fight and move on.

“I didn’t know you could do that so well – pick and choose what to show me or what I could feel.”

“Mmm, I am getting better at it. I regret not sharing it with you sooner, under happier circumstances.”

She pulled her hands away from his and quickly cleared the PADDs from her bed, then motioned for him to join her. They sat next to each other with their backs against the wall. She threaded her fingers through his. With her free hand, she played with his ring, which she had taken to wearing on a chain around her neck. She didn’t like wearing it on her finger, over her gloves, so the necklace was the best way for her to keep it close. She never removed the delicate gold chain, even when they fought.

“I’m sorry I made you share such an awful memory with me,” he whispered, thinking back to what she’d shown him. “I know it had to hurt.”

Though she had swept her room numerous times for bugs or holovid recorders and never found a one, Sabine decided it would be best to switch the conversation to telepathic channels. If Section 31 was monitoring, they’d know she was using telepathy to talk with McCoy but they wouldn’t be able to tell what was being said. She removed a glove and rested her palm on his bare forearm. He looked at her in surprise but did nothing to remove her palm.

It is okay. I can handle it.

She twisted her mouth into that half-smile.

I am stronger than I look, you know. 

He kissed the top of her head in response.

I wish I had not given you so many reasons to doubt me.

She leaned her head on his shoulder.

I have not forgotten that I owe you the truth. It is coming. Now, what else do you want to know?

She asked gently, knowing he had questions. He always had questions and it was one of the things she liked best about him, even if it made her uncomfortable when he turned his inquisitiveness on her.

_When you showed me your memory of you and John – where was that? It looked like a space station, but not one I’ve seen before._

It was a space station. I told you, we were trained to do the same kinds of things Starfleet and the Federation do.

It felt good to be honest even if she still evaded explicit details.

_But you weren’t a part of Starfleet?_

No, we were not.

_Where was that station?_

I cannot tell you right now. Soon.

He still didn’t understand the reasoning behind which questions she would answer and the ones she avoided but he was satisfied that she was being truthful. And the fact that she’d been in space before was a new nugget of information. Another question sprang into his mind and he looked over at her. She returned his gaze and nodded her head, to prompt him to keep asking.

_The locations y’all were discussing today. What’s that about?_

Sabine was ready for the question. She was coming to grips with the idea that not all lies were created equal. This lie was to protect all of them – the crew, Cass, and Leo.

We, all twelve of us, are thinking of taking a week this summer to travel together. John was giving me a list of places he had researched as possible destinations.

Her explanation fit perfectly with the conversation she had shown him. But there was one thing he was still curious about.

_Why did you need to use telepathy for that? It seems like a harmless-enough topic._

For any other cadets, yes.

She shifted so that he could see her face as she continued.

I know you think I am making it up, but we were using telepathy because we do not want Section 31 to know we are planning for the summer break. We are afraid that if they find out, they will fill our schedules with busy work to keep us here. That is all.

It made sense when she explained – well, made sense if you believed there was a secret organisation following you everywhere – which is exactly what she seemed to think. McCoy felt foolish for having ever doubted her fidelity.

“I’m done with my questions,” he told her, with a bashful grin.

“Good,” she replied, removing her palm from his arm and moving to face him. “Maybe we can do something even better with our time.”

He pulled her to him and she wrapped her legs around his waist. They sat there for a moment, their faces so close, just enjoying the anticipation of what came next. She dipped her head down and trailed her mouth along his neck. She had missed being with him like this for the past few weeks – it had been an empty pit in her stomach that physically ached. She wanted to enjoy this, savor letting her guard down for a bit.

“Sabine,” he murmured softly, and she pulled her head up to look him in the eyes. They stared at one another and he kissed her, hesitantly at first, then with mounting desire. She responded with enthusiasm. When they separated, she held her ungloved hand out to him and he tentatively lined his hand up with hers, pressing his palm against hers. She kissed him and he felt her desire, her happiness to be in his arms. They separated their palms and she gently pushed him down onto the mattress, moving her body to be on top of his. She left her hand ungloved and from time to time, she would touch his neck, his arm, his face and they’d feel each other’s emotions. They took their time, touching each other tenderly.

“I do not think I am ready yet,” she whispered, as they began to remove each other’s clothing. He understood what she meant. Just because she could now control herself when lightly touching him didn’t mean she could control herself in the midst of an orgasm.

“It’s okay, darlin’. I told you I’d wait for you. I meant it then and I mean it now,” he replied, burying his face in her hair and nibbling on her earlobe as they moved against one another. When they were both undressed, she shifted so that he was still lying on the mattress and she was on her side, not quite straddling him. She used her ungloved hand to stroke him and felt his great pleasure while he felt her immense enjoyment through the connection her contact was creating.

Leo, can you help with my other glove? 

He looked at her in surprise but pulled the second glove off of her outstretched hand. For the first time, she was glove-less in bed with him. Sabine smiled at him and moved to between his legs.

“You sure about this?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound too dubious.

“Mmm-hmm. Just relax and enjoy,” she replied. He decided to take her advice. Her touch was soft, silky as always, with her mouth warm and inviting. It was like they had done countless times before only now they could feel one another’s responses. He could feel how much she truly enjoyed taking him in her mouth and she could feel the waves of pleasure she gave him, could sense when he especially liked a certain flick of her tongue or stroke of her hand. He had a fleeting thought about how it would feel if she touched his balls and she obliged without hesitancy, cupping them delicately and eliciting a groan of pleasure from him. It felt like a continuous loop – he would feel pleasure then she would, over and over. She could tell him now via the connection that she wanted his hands in her hair, wanted him to tug on it. He’d never known it could feel like this. When he came, the combined emotions were almost too much; it was the most gratification he’d ever felt.

Afterward, they lay in each other’s arms, her hands still exposed and touching his skin. Without saying a word, she communicated to him that this would suffice – she didn’t want him to partially return the favor tonight – rather, she preferred to stay wrapped up together, arms and legs jumbled, feeling each other’s happiness. And he knew she was telling the truth because he could see into her thoughts just as she could see into his. This was what he had imagined before he made her come over Christmas. This blissful peace of sharing love and lust and contentment all at the same time.


	40. Chapter 40

“Remember when you told me you were worried Sabine might be crazy?” Jim looked over at his roommate as they ate their dinners. It was rare that both of them were in the apartment for a meal at the same time and Jim figured this was the perfect opportunity to share with McCoy what he’d learned in his own “investigation” of Sabine’s past.

McCoy shot him a look.

“I didn’t say I thought she was crazy. I said I was worried she might have some mental health issues,” he grumbled. And he still wondered, though increasingly, he found himself considering there might be more than just a kernel of truth to her conspiracy story.

“Yeah, well, whatever. Point is, I was poking around a little bit and I managed to access medical files for all cadets.”

Jim decided not to mention that the reason he’d hacked into Academy files was because he was trying to change the Kobayashi Maru simulation. He’d failed it twice now and was determined to beat it. But instead of getting access to the program, he’d discovered everyone’s records. So why not take a look for his friend?

“Good God, man. Do you know how many regulations that breaks? What’s wrong with you? You can’t look at other people’s medical files – that’s private!”

“Are you done?” Jim would wait till McCoy got all the gripes out of his system to continue.

“No, I’m not done! Are you outta your farmboy mind? If you get expelled over this, I’m not coming to your defense. I’m not having any part of this.”

“Fine, okay. I’ll take any and all blame. Don’t worry, Bones. I’m not gonna get you in trouble.”

McCoy rolled his eyes at that because how many times had he gotten in trouble due to Jim Kirk? More times than he could count.

“Listen, the important thing is, I decided to pull up Sabine’s file – I figured I could tell you if there were issues in it that might explain the crazy.”

McCoy cut him a look and Jim backtracked.

“Sorry, the mental health issues. Not the crazy. But look,” Jim pulled out his PADD and brought up some files.

McCoy turned away from the outstretched PADD. “Do not show me other cadets’ files. I don’t want to see any of it.”

“Will you just calm down for a second? That’s the point. I can’t show you her files. Look, practically the entire file is locked up.”

At that, McCoy looked over to the screen that Jim had been trying to show him. Sure enough, Sabine’s file was covered in black lines, blocking almost all access to information. He looked up at his roommate’s face. Of course Jim was excited. This was exactly the kind of thing he loved.

“You know what’s even weirder?”

“I have a feeling you’re gonna tell me.”

“It’s not just her file. All of her close friends, the other eleven people in her group, their files are blacked-out too. And it’s not like a normal redaction. These files are protected against anyone but a handful of admirals.”

“Please don’t tell me how you know that.”

“Don’t worry about it. Anyway, I just thought you might want to know.”

“Well, I didn’t want to know but that didn’t stop ya, did it?”

Jim had expected his roommate’s reluctance and he brushed it off without missing a beat. Now that he knew there was something legitimately mysterious about the twelve people they’d hung out with on a few occasions, he was determined to learn more. Bones had mentioned something about a secret organisation and Jim had a real good idea who that meant. While McCoy would grumble and complain about Jim’s efforts, he knew he was doing the right thing – not just for his best friend, but also Sabine. If her story was true, she needed as many friends like Jim as she could find. He had thought about including Cass in this adventure but she’d seemed preoccupied and busy lately so he decided to handle this one on his own.

For McCoy, this was just another enigma to add to the pile he was collecting regarding Sabine. She still hadn’t told him the truth, but she’d also been getting over Andorian mumps the past few weeks so he couldn’t fault her too much. Still the deadline was looming. And the questions kept tumbling around in his mind. It was definitely significant that the files for her and her friends were locked. That tended to give more credence to her story. But McCoy still had such a hard time accepting that there could be a secret Starfleet group beholden to no one. How had he never heard about this? And not just him. He’d tentatively mentioned it to a few other acquaintances and none of them had ever heard of such a thing. Uhura had laughed and laughed when he asked her if she thought it was possible for a black-ops organisation to exist. When she realized he was serious, she’d been confused. Of course it didn’t exist – that wasn’t Starfleet’s style nor did it hold with the Federation’s mission. Her reaction was similar to everyone else he’d asked.

At the same time, McCoy had found himself ill at ease lately, feeling at times like someone was watching him, though when he looked around, nothing and nobody was there. He wondered if it was just paranoia from being told by Sabine that he was being followed. Whatever it was, he didn’t like it.


	41. Chapter 41

One of the disadvantages to spending so much time in a clinic was the increased risk of catching some cold or illness from the patients. Sabine had been lucky till now in that regard. She, like the rest of the Resurrection crew, had received updated vaccinations as part of their integration into 23rd century society. But no one had been completely sure of how those new vaccines would work with the outdated ones they’d been given in their own time. Thus far, the whole crew had maintained excellent health. But one night in the clinic changed the record for Sabine and gave Section 31 doctors some food for thought regarding the differences between 21st century humans and themselves.

A case of Andorian mumps had broken out at the Academy, and Sabine had been one of the doctors at the clinic the night five Andorian cadets showed up, all complaining of the same symptoms. The cure was a hypospray of antibodies to the neck; Sabine hadn’t thought much of it. Each of the cadets made a full recovery by the end of the evening and the outbreak was over.

Except the next day, she had a sneeze she couldn’t get rid of. And the day after that, she felt chills followed by intense sweating. She knew by then something was amiss. When she checked herself into the clinic and the medical cadet on duty took a look at her vitals, he realized whatever this ailment was, it went well beyond his capabilities to treat. Sabine had been transferred to the local hospital and by the third day, she was suffering from fever and hallucinations.

McCoy had visited her every day while she was in the hospital and for the majority of her time there, she had been incoherent. They had sedated her – given her the maximum dosage – but still she tossed and turned in her bed until they’d had to restrain her. She would open her eyes in panic but didn’t have any awareness of others in the room. Instead, she would scream jibberish and cry as though someone was using a phaser on her. It left McCoy deeply troubled. While the doctors at the hospital seemed reasonably competent, McCoy did his own research into how Andorian mumps affected humans. He was surprised to learn it shouldn’t have any effect. No humans had ever had the same kind of reaction he was seeing in Sabine. Further, her fellow terran doctor at the clinic that evening had walked away unscathed. McCoy asked for a blood sample to be taken but he was informed that everything was being handled by the hospital and that if he continued to raise a raucous, they would bar him from visiting. On the fourth day, when he stopped by, he wasn’t permitted to see her initially because there was some sort of meeting occurring in the room. Well, fine, maybe the doctors were conferring. So he waited patiently for them to leave, but when the door opened, the men who came out didn’t look like doctors. They didn’t look like medical personnel of any kind.

If McCoy had known then that Jim had access to her medical files, he may have tossed his ethics aside and asked to look at them, though he would have found they were inaccessible. By day five, he was worried she might not make it. Her doctor assured him she would be fine and the hallucinations would abate soon. It killed him to watch her contort in pain and scream as though being electrocuted. At one point when he was sitting with her, he was positive she had said his name and he wondered if she had turned the corner, but in the next instant, she was weeping inconsolably and her eyes wouldn’t focus on him.

Day seven, the fever finally broke. McCoy had been unable to convince the medical staff attending to her to tell him what they had treated her with or how they had figured out the right course of action. He had never been so irritated before. They were all doctors – why were these people being so cagey with him? Why was everything surrounding Sabine always so inexplicable? His anger and frustration eased as her condition began to improve. By day nine, she was awake, the fog of delirium gone. She knew who she was, knew he was there with her. She was still weak – in all, she’d probably lost close to 10 pounds while in the hospital, but she was on the road to recovery.

Cass watched everything unfold and was tempted several times to pull McCoy aside and explain to him Sabine would be okay – that they’d had to create a new antibody because the vaccinations she had received as a child were obsolete now but they’d left her susceptible to a disease that was harmless to modern humans. However, if she went that route, she’d be revealing more to him than Sabine had and she didn’t want to be the one to explain Sabine’s past to him. So instead, she watched holovids from her desk, seeing him stare at the agents leaving Sabine’s hospital room after giving the doctors on staff the information they needed to treat her friend. She knew his suspicions were aroused and she wondered if maybe he would finally start believing Sabine’s stories. Maybe once Sabine was healed, she could tell him everything and he’d understand because he’d seen enough weirdness surrounding her to accept her bizarre past.

Meanwhile, the eight days Sabine had spent under the influence of hallucinations had scarred her. It had been like living in a non-stop loop of her worst nightmares. And then there had been the visions of telling McCoy everything only to have him laugh at her, walk away in disgust, or worse. By the time she was coherent again, she was afraid to be in the same room as Leo, so convinced was she that he would hate her, would call her a fraud, would mock her. She knew it had all been in her head. None of that had really happened. But it lingered in her brain and now she had a new nightly terror to add to her already impressive arsenal – she was convinced he would never believe her if she tried to explain her past. For eight days, her brain had shown her every negative reaction he could have and now, with the deadline looming, Sabine didn’t want to say a word about her past to him. He was there every day and helped check her out of the hospital, took her back to her dorm room, and checked on her compulsively for the two days she spent in bed there. She slowly accepted that this was the real McCoy – the one who loved her and wanted to trust her, even if he couldn’t see how anything she was saying could possibly be true. But her hesitancy to share more with him stayed.

It was a full two weeks before Sabine returned to her normal schedule of classes and other extracurricular activities. Even then, she still needed more time to gain back the weight and muscle she’d lost. Her schedule was crammed with make-up classes, studying, and, of course, the ever-present trainings with Cass and Agent Varik. Unintentionally, but perhaps subconsciously, Sabine allowed her time with McCoy to dwindle. She still loved him – so much it hurt – but there were only so many hours in the day and if she could avoid a painful discussion about her past to enable completion of other responsibilities, then so be it. Besides, it served the plan she and Cass had concocted well – if she didn’t spend so much time with McCoy, Section 31 would be more likely to let him slip off the radar…or so they hoped. He hadn’t helped their cause by being so relentless while she was in the hospital. Still, even when she was with him, she found herself unable to talk to him like she had in the month before she’d gotten sick. She knew she was being a coward, even understood on a rational level that she was afraid of something imaginary – the man trying to spend time with her was not the man who had haunted her delusions. But on a deeper, purely emotional level, she was so afraid to lose him that she’d rather avoid him altogether.

McCoy didn’t understand why she had withdrawn from him, he just knew that since her time in the hospital, she had taken a step backwards. Whereas just before her illness, they had reached a point where she had tried to answer his questions or had told him she couldn’t answer certain questions, now she was back to evasion or distraction. She seemed almost scared anytime he wanted to talk about anything that wasn’t frivolous or class-related. He tried to be patient, tried to accept that whatever had happened to her in that hospital bed, while she was screaming and trying to rip the restraints off, had traumatized her and that if he waited long enough, she’d come back around.

Four weeks after she’d worked that fateful shift at the clinic, Sabine began to open up to McCoy once more and she seemed like the woman she’d been just before she got sick – loving and funny, and willing to tell him the truth – eventually. As they walked hand-in-hand through a park on a particularly warm March day – the kind of day that made you realize winter was over and spring was on its way – she asked him to give her a little additional time on the deadline. In the moment, he agreed without hesitation, just happy to have her back. After, he began to regret his decision to let her have more time. He wondered if he would ever get the whole story from her.


	42. Chapter 42

“What a pleasure to meet you in person.”

His voice made her skin crawl and the last thing she would associate with sitting in this room was pleasure.

Sabine had realized immediately upon entering the Section 31 building that evening something was amiss. For starters, she couldn’t sense Cass’s presence. The whole point of being there was to meet with Cass and yet, there was no trace of Cass’s telepathic signal. Anytime Cass had cancelled a meeting, she’d sent Sabine a PADD message beforehand. This was not normal. Besides that, everyone seemed to be nervous and the guards were standing a little straighter than usual. She’d been directed to a room she’d never seen before and asked to take a seat across from a table that was empty, save for a pitcher of water and a glass. Whatever was happening, she didn’t like it.

For the past couple of months, since Sabine had first had a major breakthrough, Cass had been fudging her reports to the officers above her. They’d been fooling Agent Varik as well so that his reports mirrored Cass’s. As far as Section 31 should have known, Sabine was still struggling to master basic telepathic skills and had no control over her telekinesis. Minus that moment of levitating levity in the restaurant with Adjoa, Sabine had kept her new telekinetic abilities under wrap. And even though she now removed her gloves frequently when she was in her own dorm room or with McCoy at his place, she was still wearing them on campus and at the clinic so that Section 31 wouldn’t realize she was getting to a point where she wouldn’t need them much longer.

And then there were her efforts at keeping her relationship with McCoy from Section 31’s prying eyes. The couple had taken to meeting off-campus, in more secluded restaurants, or in parks, where it might be harder to see them with crowds. They had avoided campus, and any clubs near it, for almost a month. They’d even found themselves – on one occasion – in a dark alley across town after dinner, her back pressed against a brick wall, his lips against hers, his tongue gliding along hers, one of his hands cradling her head to keep it from bumping the wall. She hitched her legs around his waist, he pulled her skirt up, pushed her underwear to the side, and pleasured her with his other hand right then and there. Or there was the trip to the beach, where they’d found a secluded cove and she’d made him groan with satisfaction twice in the same night. They still weren’t having sex, but every day, she got another step closer. She wanted to protect their relationship from the agency at all costs.

McCoy had come around to believing they were being followed. He had finally admitted it to her a couple of weeks ago. So it wasn’t hard to convince him they should avoid the Academy. She still hadn’t told him everything but she’d shared little details with him when she could.

So as she sat there waiting in that chair, she wondered just what they had brought her in for. Had they managed to track the lovers through the city and suburbs? Did they know how much she had told Leo? Had they discovered Cass was lying? She didn’t know and it made her sit on the edge of her seat. At some point in her wait, she had sensed another telepath – not Cass or Agent Varik, but someone she’d never met – enter the building. Finally, two agents had entered the room and she had instantly recognized that one of them was the unknown telepath she’d sensed earlier. They took their positions behind her, one in each corner. Another five minutes had rolled by until the man now seated in front of her at the table had entered, carrying a large file. He’d slowly poured himself a glass of water, then sat there, refusing to acknowledge her. Instead, he opened the file in front of him (her file, she knew it was supposed to be her file) and skimmed a couple of pages in silence before looking up at her and finally introducing himself as Admiral Marcus.

“What a pleasure to meet you in person.” Every word reeked of insincerity.

“Why am I here? I should be meeting with Agent Pike,” she replied, refusing to return his greeting when everything about him made her brain scream, ‘Run away!’

“Agent Pike was detained with other business tonight so I’ll be conducting this review,” he replied smoothly. She hated his tone, hated the condescension dripping off of him.

“Business not in the office? I know she is not here,” Sabine shot back. She wanted this man to be clear that she did not trust him and would not cooperate. Privately, she was worried about Cass.

At that moment, she felt the telepathic agent behind her attempt to reach out to read her. She spun around in her seat.

“Stay out of my head,” she spat. He wouldn’t get a thing from her – she was stronger than him and she knew how to block. She turned back around.

“I will ask you again. Why am I here?”

“Cadet Latour, I don’t think you’re in any position to ask questions right now.”

Everything about this meeting had been designed to unnerve her and she knew it. The waiting, the agents in the corner, the (paper!) file that was probably padded to make it look thicker – and the smug asshole in front of her – all of it was an effort to intimidate her and she wasn’t interested.

“As long as I can speak, I can ask questions. So my position seems fine,” she retorted. “If you do not want to answer, that is on you.”

Again the agent behind her tried to read her. She turned around more slowly this time and made eye contact with him.

“If you try to enter my mind one more time, you will regret it.”

Admiral Marcus chuckled. “You’re a real firebrand, aren’t you? Well, we’ll see about that. Care to tell us about how things are going with Cadet McCoy? Or how about your trainings? Are you enjoying making items around you float on command?” His tone changed from obnoxious amusement to steel as he questioned her.

So that was it. They knew everything. She didn’t know how but it was now safe to assume that her room, McCoy’s apartment – all of it was bugged (How? She’d looked everywhere) and agents were doing a better job of tracking them than she’d thought. But what about Cass? Was she safe?

“I do not see a reason to answer any of your questions when you will not answer mine.” Sabine stuck her chin our defiantly.

“You’re here because this is the time designated for your weekly meeting. As for Agent Pike, she’s been asked to take a break until she can find it in herself to write up an accurate report. Now, how about you answer some of my questions?”

“Do you need my answers? You have agents to watch me and report back to you. That would make anything I say redundant.”

“Listen, little girl. I’ll make this very simple for you. You can cooperate with us, be truthful about how your abilities are progressing, along with anything else we want to know, or I can bring your fellow medical cadet in for some…light questioning. The choice is yours, Cadet.”

She opened her mouth to respond but felt the agent behind her try a third time to get past her mental wall. In that moment, she acted on animalistic rage. She pointed to the pitcher of water and sent it flying into the agent’s head. It shattered and he sank to the ground, a pool of blood seeping out from the gash in his forehead. His partner moved to grab her from behind and she took his arm over her shoulder, dropping him on his back to the floor, and pinning both his arms with her knees. She squatted over him, her hands on his throat.

“Do. Not. Move.” Her voice was ice-cold.

She looked over at Admiral Marcus, sitting in his chair, a bemused smile on his face, and, without needing to use her hands, she directed two large shards of the shattered pitcher to fly towards him, stopping just millimeters shy of his eyes.

“Is this still funny to you?” she asked him.

It had been years since she’d been in an actual combat situation but the moves were lodged in her muscle memory. And now she had some mastery of her mental abilities. In a matter of seconds, all three men in the room had been contained.

But if Admiral Marcus was scared, he didn’t show it.

“Well, it looks like your generation has just as much potential as the one before you.” His words made her blood run cold. “That’ll do for tonight, Cadet. You’re free to go.”

She dropped the shards to the ground beside his chair and he stood up, grabbed the bogus file, and walked out, one of the shards crunching under his boot. Marcus left the door open behind him. Sabine looked down at the guard beneath her, his eyes wide with fear. She released the grip she’d held on his neck.

“Go help your friend. He will have a hell of a headache in the morning.” She moved off of him, standing up and looking down at him. She didn’t offer a hand to help him up but instead, turned on her heel and ran out the door, down the hallway, to the lobby. She looked around. It was empty. But of course. They were probably watching her via holovid or whatever device it was they used. She took a breath and exited the building. Her first action once she was a couple of blocks away from the building, hiding in a dark lane between two buildings, was to comm Cass, who promptly picked up.

“Where were you tonight?” she practically screamed. Cass heard the panic in her friend’s voice and quickly closed her comm, ran to the shower fully clothed and reached out to Sabine.

What do you mean? I cancelled tonight. Didn’t you get my PADD message?

_No. I did not get a message. Oh my God, they have access to my PADD!_

Sabine had checked her PADD just before entering the Section 31 building and there had been no message. Somehow, Section 31 had hacked her passwords and codes and now they were able to access everything she kept on her PADD – including her research.

Okay, calm down. Tell me what happened.

Sabine quickly outlined a summary of her “meeting” with Admiral Marcus and the two anonymous agents while Cass stripped her clothes off and turned the sonic waves on.

Oh fuckballs. Okay, listen to me. You’re gonna be alright. Get back to your dorm. Or, better yet, go to Bones and Jim’s apartment. Just get yourself somewhere safe.

_There is nowhere safe! They know everything! They have access to everywhere!_

Take a deep breath. Get ahold of yourself. It was a test. They don’t know everything. Even Section 31 has its limits. They probably have access to your room computer and are spying on you there. But Jim and Bones live off-campus. If they had access to their apartment computers, I would know.

Sabs made a noise to interrupt and Cass cut her off.

Listen. Just listen. That was super-shitty. They shouldn’t have put you in that room but it’s classic Section 31 interrogation techniques. They suspect you have more mastery of your abilities than we’ve been telling them – they suspect you and Bones are closer than our talks would indicate – so they accuse you of everything they suspect and then wait for your reaction to see if they’re right or not. So, now they know you’re more in control of your skills than we told them. It’s gonna be okay. We can get around this.

_But they have not suspended you?_

God, no. I had a last-minute make-up class tonight. I PADDed you hours ago to cancel.

Sabine took a moment to collect herself.

_Did I just really fuck things up?_

Doubtful. Frankly, I woulda given good credits to see you take down those idiots and throw glass at Admiral Marcus. Just calm down, take some deep breaths, and I’ll come meet you at your place tomorrow morning, okay?

_Alright._

You’re gonna be fine. Promise.

_Cass, Admiral Marcus – he mentioned something about my generation versus the one before mine._

Sabine fed the memory through to Cass.

Well, that just confirms what’s in the files I saw. It’ll be okay. Pull yourself together and ovary up – you’ll get yourself in more trouble if you’re panicking. Do whatever you can to clear your head – I think a bottle or twenty of Risan wine will do the trick.

The girls said their goodbyes and Sabine began to walk back to campus.


	43. Chapter 43

To say Sabine was agitated as she walked home from Section 31 headquarters that evening would be an understatement. She had never been a fan of the secretive organisation and now she felt a well of deep hatred rise up inside her, especially for Admiral Marcus. She didn’t like that he’d manipulated her so skillfully into revealing her abilities, she was tired of being followed, and she’d be damned if they thought they could use Leo to force her into decisions she didn’t want to agree to.

It was with this mindset that she realized a few minutes into her walk home she was being followed. This both enraged her further and worried her because she knew Section 31 agents were better at tracking than this so now it appeared they were just trying to piss her off.

“À malin, malin et demi,” she thought with grim determination.

She made a detour into a park and once there, wandered off the lit path, into the darkness and trees, aware that her tracker wasn’t far behind. In a clearing, Sabine stopped, pretending to be deep in thought, waiting for the tracker to get closer. There was something different about this one. He was too obvious. In the past, she’d never been quite sure when she was being followed and she certainly hadn’t been able to pinpoint exactly which person was following her. But this guy, dressed in dark clothes, face covered by a hooded sweatshirt, was practically screaming, “I’m following you,” and it scared her more than the faceless trackers. Was this the agent she had left on the floor? Was he seeking revenge or had Admiral Marcus sent someone else after her? She wondered if this was it – had she been so difficult to Section 31 that they’d decided to get rid of her? She knew they had it in them – at least Marcus did.

Well, if they thought they could take her out that easily, they had another thing coming. She hadn’t made it this far, survived this much shit, to be taken out by these assholes. They were amateurs compared to what she’d dealt with before.

As the tracker crept closer, she prepared herself to do whatever necessary to live. He was only a couple of feet away. It amazed her that he was being so brash. She clenched her fists ready to attack.

The tracker reached out to grab her shoulder from behind and she spun into action, grabbing his arm off of her and twisting it, while clocking him in the jaw with her free hand. Her former training was really coming in handy tonight.

“Sabs, it’s me,” the man moaned as he crumpled to the ground.

“Jim?” She was so confused. Was Jim a part of Section 31? How?

“What the hell?” she cried while simultaneously sinking to his side to get a look at his injuries. She was grateful she’d decided to be lenient and only hit him.

“Jesus, where’d you learn to punch like that? We’re adding that to the list of things we need to discuss.” He grimaced as she touched his jaw to determine if she’d broken it. She hadn’t – he’d be fine. Sore but fine. All the same, he probably needed a dermal regenerator for the lip.

“Why were you following me? You are lucky I did not kill you,” and something in her tone made Jim realize she wasn’t kidding.

“The fact that you can kill is now also on the list,” he muttered, not wanting to move his rapidly swelling jaw and busted lip.

“What list? What are you talking about? Why were you being so obvious in following me?”

“Until you decked me, I thought I was doing a pretty good job,” he grumbled, his wounded pride showing.

“Mmm, you are wrong. Now tell me what this is about,” she retorted.

He glared at her for a moment and then begrudgingly answered.

“I wanted to talk to you about some stuff,” he mumbled, the words hard to understand due to his injuries.

“What stuff?” she persisted. She knew she ought to get him to the clinic, or at the least, to his apartment where Leo’s med kit might be available. She certainly wasn’t taking him to her place. She wasn’t ready to spend time in her dorm now that she suspected it was a direct feed to Section 31.

“Why were you at Section 31 headquarters? Why are your school and medical files top secret? Why won’t you tell Bones about your past? Just what are your intentions with my best friend?”

The questions flooded out at once and after he finished, Jim grimaced again in pain.

“We need to get you to a med kit,” Sabine responded, avoiding his questions. Jim was having none of it.

“Med kits can wait,” he spoke with an authority she’d never heard from him. So this was Jim Kirk, top of his class and captain-in-training. “You’re gonna tell me what your deal is.”

“And if I do not?”

“I tell Bones everything I suspect about you – that you’re an agent for Section 31 and you’re dangerous.”

“I am not an agent and Leo does not believe Section 31 exists.”

“Well then, I tell him you’re cheating on him.”

“What? That is not true and you know it.”

“Doesn’t matter what I know. He suspected you were seeing someone on the side once. I doubt it would take much effort to convince him again, especially with how weird you act sometimes. So if I decide to sabotage your relationship, what will you do?”

Sabine was starting to wish she’d punched him harder.

“This is blackmail,” she said bitterly.

“It’s me protecting my friend from a woman who’s lying to him. Now you can tell me what you’re lying about or I can make assumptions… or lies…that I will then share with Bones because I don’t want him to get hurt again.”

Jim folded his arms and gave her a look that would have been smug if the lower part of his face could have cooperated. She stared at him, feeling frustration brimming inside her. This night was really starting to suck and she didn’t need this jerk adding to her problems. This jerk who cared about Leo as much as she did. She took a cleansing breath.

“You know I love him,” she replied. “Surely that has been clear in spite of our arguments…”

“I want to believe you love him. But why all the lies? The refusal to answer simple questions? And again, what were you doing just now at Section 31?”

“How did you know that was Section 31? No one knows what is inside that building….except people involved with them.” Her eyes narrowed and it was Jim’s turn to be on the hot seat.

“How about this,” he proposed. “I tell you how I know about Section 31 if you do the same.”

“Why would I tell you things I will not tell Leo?”

“Because I’m not him. I’m just a friend who wants the best – preferably for both of you but if you force me to choose, I’ll side with Bones. Besides, doesn’t all this lying and deceit get tiring after a while?”

Something in his question struck her. He knew what it was like to lie – and to lie to a lot of people. She wasn’t sure how she knew, but in that instant, she was aware that she had more in common with Jim than she’d previously thought. There were hidden depths to Jim Kirk. But he was still threatening her relationship.

“And if I tell you, you run back and tell Leo, yes? So I lose either way.”

“Not necessarily. Whatever you have to tell me, I’ll keep confidential – if you promise me you’ll share it with Bones. And not just that you promise you’ll do it soon – I mean you stop putting it off and tell him the truth.”

“I do not know if I can do that,” she whispered, real fear evident in her expression.

“What if I can help you?” he asked gently.

“How?”

“I don’t know. I need to know exactly what I’m trying to help you with.”

She shook her head.

“Look,” he persisted. “Maybe it’ll be nice to finally talk to someone – to finally stop hiding so much. And maybe we’ll find a way to tell Bones.”

“I have people I can talk to,” she said stubbornly, but he could feel her resistance crumbling.

“Yeah, I know. You’ve got your group of twelve or whatever. But you guys don’t talk about it, do you? At least, you don’t.”

“How do you know?”

Jim knew he needed to tread lightly in his response but at the same time, he wanted to be truthful with her so that she’d trust him.

“Because I asked Taty, Maria, John – every one of them said the same thing – you don’t talk about whatever happened. And they worry about you.”

He braced himself for her anger over his investigation. But the anger didn’t come.

“You talked to the group? All of them?” she asked meekly.

“As many as I could. And I didn’t just do it because I’m worried about Bones. I like you, Sabs. I think you could end up being the best thing that will ever happen to him. But I don’t think it’s good for you to keep whatever this is inside.”

“If I tell you…I cannot believe I am even contemplating this…if I tell you, promise you will not tell Leo. Let me find a way to tell him. He would be furious to know I told you and not him.”

Sabine wasn’t sure why she was considering telling Jim everything. Maybe because he knew Section 31 was a real thing. Maybe because she felt a kinship with him that she hadn’t felt before. Or maybe because she was still dealing with the adrenaline rush from what had happened tonight. All she knew was that she was seriously considering unburdening herself to this smart ass with pretty eyes.

“I promise. Whatever you tell me stays between us for now. But you have to promise me you’re gonna tell him.”

She visibly gulped. “Okay.” Her voice was shaky. “But we cannot talk here. We should go back to your place or somewhere else – far away from Section 31 – we need to be out of earshot.”

He didn’t question her. He’d had enough experience with Section 31 to understand what she meant.

“I’m pretty sure Bones is working tonight so we’ll be alone at my place,” he offered.

“My place has a med kit – we should pick it up on the way,” she responded, knowing Leo would have taken his kit with him to the clinic. Jim’s jaw would be fine but it needed to be seen to nonetheless.

“Okay. We get your kit and head to our place.”

He jumped up and extended his hand to Sabine to help her up. She took it and he marveled at how such a tiny hand had packed such a wallop. Whatever her story was, he was looking forward to hearing it. But he tempered his excitement by thinking of his own concealed past. If she had experienced similar… well, he wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

They made limited small talk on their way to her dorm and then to his apartment. She seemed to be deep in thought and Jim didn’t want to seem glib about what was obviously a difficult choice for her. A choice he had forced on her, even if it was for the best. He knew how he’d feel if the tables were turned and he tried to act accordingly.

Jim half-expected Sabine to find some excuses once they reached his place but instead, she was all business. She quickly took care of his jaw, used the dermal regenerator on his busted lip, and gave him a hypo for the pain. The gentleness of her hypo administration was all the proof Jim needed that Bones really was doing all he could to make them hurt when he gave them. Jim made a mental note to seek Sabine out for any future hypos.

Once he’d been attended to, Sabine sat next to Jim and looked him in the eye.

“We can do this one of two ways. I can tell you everything…or I can show you what you want to know.”

“Show me?” He was confused.

“Yes. Via a mind meld – not a full meld – but enough to give you the general idea. It will be quicker but you might get nauseous.”

“Definitely show me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Cass does it sometimes when she wants to share something privately. It’s cool.” Sabine hadn’t realized that Cass and Jim were close enough for Cass to communicate with him telepathically. But she was also pretty sure that whatever Cass and Jim had done was a lot different than what they were about to do.

“Do you ever get sick when you and Cass share a connection?”

“The first few times, I mighta felt a little queasy. But I’ve gotten used to it now.”

“Mmm…,” she seemed hesitant. “I am not as good at this as Cass. You may get sick because I am still mastering my control of it.”

“It’ll be okay. You already punched me tonight. What’s a little additional nausea between friends?” he smiled, hoping to put her at ease.

“I am really sorry about that. I thought you were someone else. I was prepared for a fight that did not happen…”

“Don’t worry about it. Most of the time, when a girl hits me, she knows exactly who she’s hitting.”

That made Sabine laugh and the mood in the apartment shifted ever so slightly. Jim could still feel the underlying tension radiating from Sabine but she seemed to relax a little bit. And she was preparing herself to share her story, which Jim was not-so-secretly thrilled about. He thought telepathy was great – he’d never had any hang ups about befriending telepaths and letting them use their abilities on him. But that was Jim in a nutshell; seeking out any and all risks.

“I will take off one glove and touch your arm. You will see enough of my past to understand and if you have additional questions, we will talk afterwards. It will feel like we have been connected for a long time – “

“Yeah, I know – but it’ll only be a few seconds. I’m ready.” He held out his arm to her with an impish look on his face and Sabine was struck by how willing he was to run towards the things most people ran away from. Jim really was going to make a good captain someday. Or get everyone killed. It was hard to say which outcome would be more likely.

“Let’s do this,” he prodded, again proffering his arm to her. Sabine winced but removed the glove from her left hand.

“Mmm. Here goes,” she said timidly, touching his arm with her palm flat against it. He felt the heat and then the white light appeared but then everything went haywire.


	44. Chapter 44

“Holy shit,” Jim whispered after Sabine severed the mental connection. “I’m gonna be sick…” He dashed out of the room and Sabine cursed herself for not having a bowl or garbage can at the ready for him.

Upon staggering back into the room, Jim sat down next to Sabine and put his hand on her knee. She had come a long way in her tolerance to others touching her but she still flinched slightly, even while knowing he did it out of a desire to comfort her. Jim removed his hand after a moment.

“My God. I had no idea. Wasn’t ready for that,” he said softly. “Sabs….I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” She was relieved he wasn’t treating her like a monster after what she’d shown him.

“Because no one should have to go through all of that…and you gave me the edited version. I don’t want to know what you left out.”

“But you understand, yes? Now you see why I am so afraid to tell Leo,” she needed him to confirm her apprehension.

“Yeah, I get it. Even if Section 31 weren’t interfering, how do you tell someone all that?”

“I know,” she said mournfully. “I am certain he will leave me…”

“No, no! He’s not gonna leave you. Good lord, he’s gonna feel what I’m feeling times ten. He’s gonna want to hug you and protect you. Why would you think he’d leave you?”

“All the things I did – the choices we made…”

“Choices? What choice did any of you have? I’m amazed all of you made it through… that…and seem so…normal now. You can’t beat yourself up over this…,” he paused. “I should probably take the same advice I’m dispensing.”

They were silent a moment and then Jim spoke again.

“What you just did – can you do that for me? Can I show you my past instead of telling it?”

She looked at him. “Mmm, I think so. But are you sure? The nausea…”

“Worth it to not have to tell you. Also, after that, I owe it to you.”

“You do not owe me anything. I am the one who has been lying, remember?”

“It makes a lot more sense now. I’d probably lie too.”

She was grateful for his words. Even if they were coming from a known troublemaker. He was McCoy’s best friend and if Jim could understand why she’d lied, maybe Leo would too.

“So, let’s do this. I promised to show you mine if you showed me yours,” Jim grinned but she saw the conflicting emotions in his eyes – fear, guilt, and nervousness.

“We do not have to do this.”

“Yeah we do. If for no other reason, you need to know you aren’t alone. All of us are carrying our own versions of Hell.”

She was ready to tell him it was okay and she could just take his word for it, but his next sentences stopped her.

“And I need to share this. I’m not so different from you – hiding my past and avoiding it as often as possible. I want to be honest with you.”

He held out his arm to her.

“How does this work in reverse? Cass is always the one sharing things with me.”

“This time, you just need to choose what memories you want me to see. I will only see what you want me to.”

“Alright, let’s do this…I hope you won’t think less of me after.” Jim’s sudden earnestness caught Sabine off-guard. She opted to respond with humor.

“How could I possibly think less of you?”

He looked up at her in surprise and upon seeing the smile playing on her lips, broke out into his own megawatt grin.

“I’ve always said Bones chose a good one in you.”

Mentioning her boyfriend caused Sabine to frown for a moment.

“Stop worrying. He loves you. Just show him what you showed me. He’ll understand – you know he will.”

“I hope so.”

“I know so. Now how about we do some nausea-inducing arm-touching?”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

She touched his arm again and they both felt the heat, saw the white lights and then she was on Tarsus IV with Jim – a young Jim. Just a 13-year old boy. A boy leading a rag-tag group of undernourished child refugees through the wilderness to escape the death sentence Governor Kodos had decreed for most of them.

She saw his fear – his anguish at the loss of every child who died along the way. His guilt for not doing more – but what more could a child do? What more could anyone have done?

She watched as the children were found in a cave by Section 31 agents who had been sent to the planet after a supply ship arrived and discovered the genocide. Jim had never forgotten or forgiven the callousness of some of the agents as they sorted through the survivors and interrogated each child on how they had escaped and remained hidden. Then there were the meetings they held in San Francisco instructing the survivors on what they could and couldn’t say. Section 31 had been there to contain things rather than right wrongs and Jim hated them for that.

Sabine and Jim severed the connection. Jim’s eyes were watery. Sabine couldn’t help herself – she hugged him.

“Oh, Jim,” she sighed. “It is okay. You did the very best you could. You had to make choices no child – no person – should ever make.”

“Just like you. We’re not so different.” He had a new appreciation for the woman his roommate had fallen for.

“No, I suppose we are not.” Somehow, it meant a lot to Sabine to know she and the Resurrection crew weren’t the anomalies they’d been made to feel like – other people in this time had also experienced some pretty messed-up shit.

“Why is it so easy for us to forgive each other and so impossible to forgive ourselves?”

“Mmm, I wish I knew.”

“It’s so clear to me that nothing you did was your fault. You did the best you could in awful circumstances…” He wanted Sabine to understand it was okay. No one would fault her for trying to survive.

“And it is obvious to me that you were a hero to those children. You took on more responsibility than most people will ever be asked to take…”

“But I coulda saved more. I let friends die…” Jim was still ripping himself up inside for the ones he’d lost all those years ago.

“For the good of the group! If you had interfered with those deaths, they would have killed you and who would have been there to help all those children?”

They looked at each other with guilt-stricken faces. Sabine held Jim’s outstretched hand and pushed friendship through their lingering connection.

“I wish I could help you see you are not at fault.”

“Same here. I wish you could see yourself the way the rest of us see you.” His eyes were filled with so much kindness and it moved something inside her.

“Thank you for sharing your past with me,” she murmured, pulling her ungloved hand away from his and placing it on his cheek to wipe away a tear that had managed to escape his blue eyes.

Neither of them had heard McCoy open the door to the apartment and he walked in on his best friend staring deep into the eyes of his girlfriend, receiving a gloveless caress on the cheek from her, in what looked like a fairly intimate moment.

“Sabs, you have to tell him –”

“What the hell is going on here?”

It didn’t help that the minute Jim and Sabine heard his voice, they jumped up and separated, like guilty parties.

“This is not what it looks like –”

“What the hell do you have to tell me? That you two have been fooling around?” he gestured to Jim and then turned to him.

“And you. Of all the low-down, despicable things you could do –”

“Leo, no! He and I – there is nothing there. We were talking about how I need to tell you the truth about me – my past…”

“You gotta caress his face to do that?” McCoy had worked himself into a righteous rage. The clinic had been awful all day long – he was three hours late getting off his shift because of some idiot cadet who didn’t know how to use a medical tricorder. The last thing he’d expected was to walk in on Jim and Sabine canoodling.

“Bones, c’mon. You know I’d never make a move on your girlfriend –”

“Oh really? How ‘bout when you hit on her the other night at the bar?”

“He did not. He told me he liked my dress. That is positively tame for Jim.” Sabine realized too late that coming to Jim’s defense was the wrong move.

“Oh sure. Defend him now that I found you two together. You both look like you just got caught with your hands in the cookie jar. How long has this been going on?”

Sabine was upset. This night kept getting shittier and shittier. She knew they both looked and felt guilty but the reason was so far removed from what Leo thought.

“Stop this. You know both Jim and I better than that –”

“Do I?” he challenged her. “What exactly do I know about you, huh? I’m still waiting for you to explain your past, which you keep delaying. In the meantime, you tell me a story that makes no sense and every additional detail you add just makes it more nonsensical. You keep asking me to trust you but you haven’t given me a reason why.”

“Maybe so, but you know Jim. You trust him…” She was desperate to make him see that they hadn’t been cheating behind his back. Though, in some sense, had it been cheating to share her past with Jim before Leo? She felt another wave of guilt wash over her.

McCoy looked over at Jim. “Do I trust you when it comes to women? You can hardly keep count of all your conquests. Was this a new challenge you needed to amuse yourself? Steal your roommate’s girl?”

“Bones, stop. She’s here because I told her if she didn’t tell you the truth about her past, I was gonna persuade you to break up with her.”

“And how’d that lead to face-touching on the couch?”

Jim and Sabine looked at one another. In an unspoken agreement, they decided to be honest. Sabine spoke up.

“Because I agreed to tell you the truth –”

“Don’t do me any favors, darlin’ – you’ve been promisin’ that for months.” McCoy’s voice was bitter. She could tell he’d had a bad day and this wasn’t making things any better. But she’d had a bad day too and it was getting hard to remain patient while being accused by her boyfriend, yet again, of cheating. McCoy had gotten the bourbon out and took a sip before continuing.

“Tellin’ me the truth doesn’t explain the intimate scene I walked in on…”

“We were touching because I’d just shared with her what happened on Tarsus IV.”

This gave McCoy pause and Sabine began to have hope that maybe this was all going to work out after all. But then McCoy turned on Jim.

“Wait. I’m the only person at the Academy you’ve told and you were drunk out of your skull when it happened. Why’d you tell her?”

Sabine’s heart sank. There was no way out of this. She gathered her courage and spoke before Jim could answer.

“Because I showed him my past.”

She couldn’t bring herself to continue. This wasn’t how she had wanted to share her past with Leo. But if he’d let her, she would show him everything right then and there. Judging by his hardened features and the enormous gulp of bourbon he took, she didn’t know if he’d even let her finish her next sentence.

“Let me get this straight. I’m supposedly the man you love and you tell me next-to-nothing even though I ask you, beg you, repeatedly. But he walks in and you SHOW him everything?”  


“Not everything – just the highlights – lowlights,” Jim corrected himself. Both Sabine and McCoy turned to him.

“Shut up, Jim,” they said in unison.

But even that wasn’t enough to overcome the anger emitting from McCoy.

“Why’d you tell him? What’s he got that I don’t?” McCoy was both accusatory and hopeless and it tore Sabine to shreds inside. She wished she could take the whole evening back. She should have gone directly to Leo. Why did she tell Jim – because she thought he would understand more easily than Leo. Something had correctly told her that he’d experienced real horrors – just like she had. But how could she explain that to Leo? He believed he’d gone through true awfulness too – his father begging him to euthanize him; Jocelyn cheating on him and taking everything in the divorce – those were deep cuts. It wasn’t fair to treat them as lesser – they were what McCoy had known and they’d gutted him.

“I made a mistake,” she said resolutely. “I should have gone to you first, not Jim. I am so sorry –”

“I forced her to tell me,” Jim jumped in, trying to help in any way he could. “I told her I’d tell you she was cheating on you even if it wasn’t true –”

“Well, what I walked in on sure looked like cheating.”

Sabine finally snapped. “You idiot. It was two friends commiserating over horrible things they have experienced. And I am telling you I will share everything with you but all you can focus on is the fact that I was touching Jim’s damn face.” Her eyes were blazing.

“Why should I focus on anything else? How many times have you promised to tell me the truth eventually, soon, next week, tomorrow. But Jim talks to you one time and you show him everything….You know what? Get out. I’m done with you.”

“Leo!”

“Bones!” They spoke simultaneously. McCoy ignored Sabine.

“You and I will resolve this later,” he told Jim. “But since you’re so good at dealing with her, get her to leave – now.”

McCoy stalked out of the room into his bedroom and slammed the door. Sabine stared after him and once the door slammed, the tears she’d been avoiding since leaving Section 31’s headquarters fell free. Jim looked at her with compassion in his bright blue eyes.

“Let me talk to him – I’ll make this right, I promise,” he implored.

“Do not make promises you cannot keep,” her voice faltered as she spoke. Sabine grabbed her med kit and headed for the door.

“Sabs, wait,” he yelled, but she ran out the door before he could stop her.

“Dammit, Bones,” he called out. There was no response.


	45. Chapter 45

The next few days were tense in the Kirk/McCoy apartment. McCoy avoided Jim and Jim wrestled with the best way to approach his friend. He had hoped Bones would reach out to Sabine but when he saw her four days after the fight, it was immediately evident to him that McCoy was still not speaking to her. Or maybe she wasn’t speaking to him. Either way, both looked miserable. Sabine had plenty of friends to look after her so Jim focused on McCoy.

On day six, he waited till McCoy came home from a clinic shift. He had a bottle of Leonard’s favorite bourbon and he poured a finger apiece into two glasses for the both of them. Jim wasn’t going to take no or silence for an answer.

McCoy rolled in around midnight and Jim was there, ready to pounce.

“Hey, we gotta talk,” he began.

“Save it, kid. I’m tired,” McCoy shot back, heading to his room.

“No, dammit! This is important!”

“As important as getting in my girlfriend’s head and seeing her past?” And there it was. The anger had been simmering just below the surface. But he’d gotten McCoy to stop and talk. That was a start.

“More important. You know she wasn’t cheating on you, least of all with me. Now let’s talk about this like adults and clear things up.”

“Why’d you say anything to her, Jim? Why can’t you ever leave things well enough alone?”

“Because I care about you. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t going to hurt you like Jocelyn did.”

“Sabine isn’t Jocelyn.”

“I know. But she was lying to you. You were frustrated and I wanted to help.”

“Why’d she tell you? Why couldn’t she tell me?” McCoy sounded defeated. He sat down at the table and took a sip of the bourbon in front of him.

“Oooh, that’s nice,” he murmured appreciatively. That was when Jim knew the two of them would be okay. But he needed to fulfill his promise to Sabine.

“It’s your favorite – not cheap by the way.”

“The good stuff never is.”

“Same with women, you know. The ones worth having are never the easy ones.”

Jim had gleaned that bit of knowledge from living with his mother. Estranged as they were, Jim knew she’d been the love of his dad’s too-short life. It had convinced him that the right woman would probably also be a pain in the ass most of the time.

“Seriously, Jim. I can’t get over the fact that she told you so quickly.”

“I think she did it because she knew I had some dark stuff I was hiding too.”

McCoy considered his reasoning.

“So y’all were on equal footing.”

“I suppose so.”

“Which means she and I never were – at least, not in her mind.” McCoy stared sadly at the bottom of his glass, refusing to make eye contact with his friend.

“It’s not that simple,” Jim mused, sipping his own bourbon. “She was scared of losing you – she told me as much. It wasn’t that she needed you to be as damaged as her – it’s that she loves you so much. She’s scared of messing that up.”

They sat in silence for a beat.

“It doesn’t help that she really does have Section 31 tracking her,” Jim added.

McCoy shot him a surprised look. In all the conversations he’d had with other people about Section 31, he’d never bothered to ask Jim. He wasn’t sure why. He had told Jim Sabine mentioned some secret organisation but he’d never given him the name. And now here was his roommate talking about it like it was a normal thing.

“That’s real?”

“Of course it is. They’re monitoring her – and you too. She wasn’t lying about that. I followed her from Section 31’s headquarters the other night. It’s why I confronted her.”

“How do you know about – oh.” Jim had answered him with a look. Somehow Section 31 had been involved on Tarsus IV. And it was evidently involved with his girlfriend. What was this organisation and how did it get involved in events like Tarsus IV yet still remain anonymous?

“So she’s scared to tell me because she thinks I’ll leave her even though I’ve told her dozens of times that nothing could make me love her less. And there really is a shadow group following her around to keep her quiet.”

He paused. Well, at least he knew she was telling the truth about the secret agency. Maybe she hadn’t been as untruthful as he’d thought. But what had she done to fall under their eye?

“How bad is it?” he asked Jim bluntly.

“Without going into details? It’s beyond anything you’d expect.”

“Is she….is she a bad person?” He thought back to when she had admitted, without really admitting, to killing people.

“God, no. She’s the woman you love. Her past is….insane. But she’s handled it the best she could. She’s a good person. And she has a killer left hook.” Jim rubbed his still-bruised jaw as he remembered her punch.

“She did that to you?” McCoy gestured to Jim’s face, the hint of a half-smile on his face.

“Yeah. Don’t ever try sneaking up on her.”

They both sipped their bourbons in silence for a minute.

“I keep coming back to the lack of trust. Why can’t she trust me with whatever she’s holding back?”

“I don’t know. There aren’t any perfect answers. But since you’re asking about trust, why can’t you trust her? You keep accusing her of cheating and I know that has to hurt her. She’s crazy about you. That night, she was ready to show you everything.”

“Yeah, because she did a test run on you first.”

“I get why that bothers you, I do. But is it worth throwing everything away? She and I made mistakes. I shouldn’t have pressured her to tell me her past and she should have waited to tell you first. But she was convinced she’d lose you whether she told you her past or not. At least this way, she had your best friend in her corner.”

“She really thinks I’m gonna leave her when I find out?”

Jim paused before answering.

“Remember when I told you about Tarsus IV?”

“Yeah – do you?”  


“Not really. And a big part of that is because of how ashamed I am of what happened there –”

“I told you there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I know but it doesn’t matter because in my mind, I failed. Same thing with Sabine. In her mind, she’s done horrible things and she’s to blame for them. It doesn’t matter that she did what she needed to in order to survive. She’s consumed by that shame. The same shame you feel about your dad.”

McCoy looked up at that.

“You gotta believe me. She’s scared. And she’s been through some serious shit. I know this is self-serving but give her the benefit of the doubt. She loves you.”

“Even after I said all that garbage the other night?”

“Yeah, I’m guessing even after that. Comm her, Bones. Talk to her.”

McCoy grunted in response. He finished his drink and stood.

“I appreciate what you’re doing. I just need some more time.”

“Okay. But don’t let this slip away.”

The doctor nodded his head in response, on his way to his room. On the one hand, Jim was relieved they were talking again. On the other hand, it was a shallow victory if he didn’t save Bones and Sabine from breaking up.


	46. Chapter 46

Almost a week later, McCoy heard a knock on the dorm door and went to answer it, knowing Kirk had left at some point earlier that morning. He found Sabine on the other side, looking much worse for the wear. She was in her cadet uniform but it was wrinkled and she smelled like she’d just left the clinic – the soap they used to clean up at the end of a shift had a distinct scent.

“I... I know you probably do not want to see me right now but I did not know where else to go.” Her eyes were red and puffy, like she’d been crying. He stepped aside, ushering her into the apartment and closing the door.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” He thought about all the times he’d almost commed her over the past 10 days and now he wished he had.

“I lost a patient... I do not know what I could have done differently… I tried everything…”

“Oh darlin’,” he said softly, taking her into his arms. She didn’t cry but he could feel her shaking. McCoy suspected she might still be in shock. “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

She curled up against him for a few minutes and he could feel her shallow, quick breaths against his chest. McCoy released her, pulled her to the couch, and sat next to her.

“What happened? Tell me everything.”

She took a deep breath. “A Kzinti cadet came in overnight presenting symptoms of an allergic reaction to some persimmon seeds he had eaten. I treated him with xyloxin for the allergy and he reacted poorly to the medication. I kept trying to solve the issues but for each action I took, another problem would arise. He finally coded on me. I could not save him. It should have been a simple visit to resolve an allergy but…”

Her eyes had a thousand-yard stare to them – different than when Cass would reach out to her but equally unnerving.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s devastating to experience but this happens. Every doctor loses a patient at least once in their career. You did the best you could,” he comforted her, taking her into his arms again. She buried her head in his chest. She’d lost patients before…more than she cared to remember. But never because of something so easily remedied.

“I should have done more,” came her muffled reply.

“What more could you have done?”

“I should have tested him first to see if he was allergic to the medication.”

“Did you ask him what allergies he had?”

“Yes. I asked him specifically about xyloxin. He did not think he was allergic to it.”

Xyloxin was one of the most common allergy medications in the Federation. For a patient suffering an allergic reaction to not know if he was also allergic to it was fool-hardy at best.

“We use it all the time. Why would you have tested him if he didn’t mention an allergy to it?”

“I should have tested anyway – everyone knows how sensitive Kzintis are. I failed him,” she replied, her voice thin and hollow.

“You did the best you could… it’s alright, darlin’… you’re a good doctor…,”

He murmured words of comfort to her, stroking the top of her head as she leaned against his chest. He knew the grief of losing a patient. It was a rare thing to experience at the Academy clinic, but it happened at any place where doctors worked.

She pulled away from him.

“These last ten days have been miserable,” her voice was weary.

She hadn’t been able to tell him about what had happened at Section 31 when she met with Admiral Marcus. Hadn’t been able to tell him how paranoid she’d been the last week and a half, convinced that her room was nothing more than a live feed to Section 31. She hadn’t been able to talk to him about how certain she was she’d been followed everywhere. So far, the only fall-out from that meeting, besides the extra surveillance on her, had been both Agent Varik and Cass getting written-up for failure to pay better attention to their subject. According to Cass, the Section thought Sabine had been fooling both of them about the depth and mastery of her abilities. She’d heard nothing further from Admiral Marcus but she knew he wasn’t done with her or any of the other Resurrection crew members. The walk to his apartment had been nerve-wracking because of her paranoia of being followed. It had been a lousy time for her and McCoy to stop speaking.

He sighed. “I missed you. I shoulda commed you before now.”

“I could have contacted you as well.” She shook her head and rubbed her eyes. “Now is a bad time to do this. I should go.” She stood up and he rose as well, reaching out to grab her hand.

“You don’t have to leave. We can talk about this later, but if you want to stay here…” In truth, he didn’t feel comfortable letting her out of his sight while she was still so dazed and processing the loss of a patient.

“I want a nap. I would like to sleep, peacefully,” she replied. “But I know the board will want to contact me. They will want to review what happened and assign blame if they find I was in error.” She was right – it was the standard practice after a patient died.

McCoy made a quick decision.

“Give me your communicator and I’ll answer any comms from the board,” he insisted while walking over to his med kit. “If you want to sleep, you can use my room. And you can take one of these.”

He tossed her the same bottle of sleeping pills he’d tried to give her over the holiday break.

“Are you sure?” she asked gratefully, so ready to curl up and ignore the world for a few hours.

“Yeah, I’m sure. You look like shit, darlin’,” he replied, walking over to her and placing his hands on her cheeks.

“Thank you? I think you might want to work on your pick-up lines,” she murmured, a faint smile playing on her lips.

“You know what I meant,” he grumbled, rubbing his nose against hers. “Rest up. I’ll let you know if the Board has commed when you wake up.”

She gave him a weak smile. “Okay.” She handed him her communicator and he placed it on the desk where he’d been studying.

“Go ahead,” he directed her, waving to his bedroom as he walked to the kitchen. “I’ll grab you some water.” McCoy grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with water. When he got to his bedroom, she was midway through changing out of her cadet uniform and into a pair of his gym shorts and one of his t-shirts. He always appreciated seeing her in his clothes and this time was no different, even if the last thing on either of their minds was sex. She pulled the shirt over her head and then let her hair down from the ponytail she sometimes wore while on shift. He handed her the water and she put a pill in her mouth, then took a gulp to wash it down. She handed him the glass and he set it on the night table next to the bed as she proceeded to lie down and grab a blanket to wrap around herself. He sat down on the bed next to her.

“Thank you,” she murmured, exhausted both physically and mentally. She closed her eyes and curled up on her side, almost in the fetal position.

“Anything for you,” he responded, brushing her hair off her forehead. “Get some sleep and I’ll see you in a little while. If you need me, I’m right out there, studying.”

“Mmmm,” was her muffled response.

He stood up, told the computer to dim the bedroom lights and shut the door behind him.

The apartment was silent for the next few hours, save for the occasional ping from her communicator. As expected, the board wanted to meet with her in the morning. He’d tell her when she woke. The fact that all was silent indicated to him that she was sleeping deeply. After almost three hours, he heard her stir and she opened his door, her hair everywhere.

“Hi,” she said somewhat bashfully. She leaned against the doorframe, her head tilted to the side. Her eyes were alert.

“Hey. How are you?”

“Better than before? Still feel pretty shitty but hopefully I do not look like it. ” She smiled shyly.

He got up to meet her as she moved towards him slowly. It took him two steps to reach her and wrap his arms around her.

“You look beautiful. It’ll be okay. You’ll get through this. The board wants to meet with you tomorrow morning at 0900 hours. They’ll ask you to tell them what happened and a few days from now, you’ll get their ruling. It’ll be alright, darlin’. They know what a good doctor you are. You’re top of your class, remember?” He kissed her forehead and she wrapped her arms around him as well, leaning into him.

“I cannot thank you enough,” she whispered.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ve all been there.”

She was silent for a moment and they stood there, embracing one another, listening to each other’s breathing. She pulled away.

“Is now a good time to talk?” She looked at him inquisitively.

“Yeah, if you’re up for it.”

“I would not suggest it if I were not,” she replied. They sat down together on the couch and turned to one another. McCoy gestured to Sabine. “You first.”

She sighed. “When are you going to stop accusing me of cheating on you? Yes, I have kept things from you but I have never been unfaithful to you. I love you and you should know that. We have shared feelings so many times.”

It was true. In the past couple of months, as she’d quickly begun to gain more control over her abilities, they had shared emotions both when being intimate and when doing routine things like watching holomovies on the couch. He’d felt her love for him every time.

He hung his head for a moment then met her eyes. “I’m sorry,” he replied. “I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. It was unfair to both you and Jim. I guess I’m perpetually waiting for you to realize I’m not good enough and move on.”

She stared at him. “Why would I ever do that?”

“I don’t know. Because I’m short-tempered, blunt, callous, and insensitive. I already failed one relationship spectacularly. Sometimes, it feels like it’s only a matter of time till I screw this one up. I’m not sure what you see in me, to be honest.”

Sabine had never heard McCoy speak so frankly about their relationship and it gave her a pang of sadness to hear him disparage himself.

“I do not think you are any of those things – well, maybe blunt. And sometimes short-tempered,” she smiled at him as she gently teased then continued. “I see so much good in you; it outweighs any bad. And it takes two people to fail a relationship. You do not get to carry that alone. As for messing this up, you are not the one who has been lying about your past, hmmm?”

They were silent for a moment as each contemplated what she had said. She waited for him to voice his own displeasures. She had opened the door for it. Finally McCoy spoke.

“It didn’t help that you shared the truth with Jim first,” he replied. She fidgeted with the necklace around her neck from which his ring dangled.

“I know,” she said quietly. “I wish I could take it back. But I want to share it with you too, if you will let me.”

“Why are you so afraid to tell me everything? Why do you think I’ll leave you?” It was his turn to ask the hard questions.

“There are several reasons I worry about telling you the truth. One, as I have mentioned before, is I am afraid I will put you in danger. I need to tell you about the night of our fight…”

She quickly filled him in on her meeting with Admiral Marcus.

“When you say you took down the agents, what do you mean?”

“I threw a pitcher of water at one of them, using my mind, and it knocked him out. The other one tried to grab me from behind and I flipped him over my shoulder and pinned him down.”

He whistled, impressed. She seemed embarrassed by her actions.

“I tell you this because I need you to understand my concerns are real. I am also afraid to tell you everything because I think you are a much better person than me. I cannot imagine you will still want me when you realize I am nowhere near as moral and noble as you.”

He thought for a moment.

“So, basically, we’re two people who each have enough self-loathing that we’re sabotaging the one good thing in our lives.” McCoy was taking a psych class that semester and it was doing wonders for his ability to have a heavy conversation like this.

“Mmm, I think that sums it up.”

“Are we gonna get beyond this?” He grabbed her hand as he spoke, rubbing it through the glove.

“I hope so. I am willing to share everything with you – right now if you want. I do not want to spend another day lying to you.” She stared at him with wide, curious eyes, trying to read his every reaction.

“You mean that? You’d take off your gloves right now and show me everything? Answer all my questions?”

In response she pulled her hand away from his and took her glove off. “It will hurt,” she said as she held her hand up. “More than when we shared emotions and feelings over the holiday break. You will get sick.” She motioned to the garbage can by his desk. “We should have that nearby.”

McCoy got up and brought the can over to where they were sitting. He was surprised she was willing to do this finally, after stalling so long. He sat down beside her again.

“This will be very close to a full mind meld,” she cautioned. “It is different than anything we have done yet. You will see my memories, feel my feelings, hear my thoughts. It is overwhelming but it will wear off. I will help you with the pain afterward.”

“So what separates this from a full meld?” he asked, unclear as to what more they could share beyond memories, thoughts, and feelings. Now that she was sitting there, facing him and removing her second glove, he felt nervous. He remembered how painful their Christmas incident had been.

“This will not be a full meld because I will only be sharing with you – you will not be sharing your memories, thoughts or feelings with me…. I will not feel the same pain you do,” she continued, seeing his apprehension. “The good thing about this will be that I can shoulder much more because I will not be hurting at the same time.”

“You couldn’t just keep a journal or something?” He was only half-kidding. As much as he wanted to know about her past, he wasn’t looking forward to experiencing the worst parts of telepathy. She gave him that twisted semi-smile he loved so much.

“It will be okay,” she replied. She moved around so that she was sitting cross-legged on the couch, facing him, and held her hands up. “When you put your palms against mine, you will feel a heat and see a white light. And then you will see everything you have wanted to know.”

He turned to face her as well but before he put his hands up to hers, he leaned in. She met him halfway. McCoy pulled Sabine close and kissed her deeply. She fit so comfortably against him and they knew each other so well by now they could do this in their sleep. But it never stopped feeling good. He loved the sighs she would make as he deepened his kisses. The shiver she made as their tongues touched. She loved the way he allowed kisses to build, starting softly and then growing more passionate and intense. She loved how his tongue played against hers and how his breath would catch when she nipped his bottom lip. But today, there was an added urgency on both parts. They could feel each other’s tension as they ran their hands along one another’s shoulders and backs. They kissed fiercely and were reluctant to pull away.

Once they were separated and facing one another she held her hands up again and this time, he brought his up, making sure his palms lined up with hers.

“See you on the other side,” he murmured. She laced her fingers through his and their palms pressed together. He felt a heat radiate from their joined hands and seep through him. The room began to fade as white light crept in from his peripheral vision, quickly engulfing everything.

And then…


	47. Chapter 47

_ Sabine’s Story _

 

She was born in the year 2000 A.D., four years after Khan and his followers had escaped Earth and one year before fanatical religious terrorists launched a series of civilian attacks on the same day in fourteen major cities around the world, including New York, London, Berlin, Paris, and Tokyo. At least 200,000 civilians were killed when the numbers were totaled. From that time forward, major wars raged at any given time around the world and despite best efforts to contain terrorism, attacks spread, their frequency increasing as each year passed. Historians would later refer to the conflicts as the Eugenics Wars, though many argued about when they officially started and what separated them from WWIII. She and her friends knew. They’d lived it. Warfare and bloodshed were an inescapable part of the daily news but life continued in spite of any efforts to subdue it.

As a toddler, she was silent; it took her so long to start speaking her parents worried she suffered a disorder and would never talk. But the young girl had never felt the need to speak when there were already so many voices in her head. Her parents were moderately wealthy – rich enough that they were able to enjoy the luxuries of an upper middle-class lifestyle. They could enroll her in school, ballet classes, take her for walks in the parks around town and let her play with other neighborhood children. But she was a solitary child, aware that when she got too close to other children, it caused them pain and made her head ache.

When she was five, the voices in her head faded to a comfortable buzz. She no longer heard every private internal conversation around her. Now she only knew what others were thinking if she touched them. Her grandmother taught her to avoid contact, taught her that it wasn’t polite to spy on the thoughts of those around you. Her grandmother taught her everything she knew about being a telepath. They would walk together often through their city. She lived in Paris, France, the daughter of an Ivorien man and French woman. Her father’s own father had been French and had fallen in love with a woman from Côte d’Ivoire, picking up his life and moving to her country. His son had grown up in Abidjan, but left to attend university in Paris, where he met his future wife. On her mother’s side, the family had lived for generations in and around Paris. And for generations, telepathy had been a trait passed from parent to child, occasionally skipping over a child and going to the grandchild. But no one in the family was prepared for the scope of the young girl’s abilities. Her grandmother had been the first to notice it when the child was still in the crib.

As she grew, it was sometimes hard for the girl to remember to never touch her friends but as the painful experiences piled up, she stopped, not wanting memories in her mind which were not her own. Despite the loneliness she felt being unable to physically interact with most other people, her childhood was predominantly filled with happy memories. The quartier she lived in was a diverse corner of Paris, filled with people from all over the world and she loved learning about others. While the news made it clear that what she experienced was a rarity, it was not until she left the quartier with her father and saw how he was treated in other parts of the city and world that she came to understand just how special her neighborhood was and just how cruel people could be to one another. Occasionally, she would reach out and touch the skin of those who treated her father contemptuously or made comments under their breath about her when they would see her parents together. The hate and disgust she would feel repulsed her. But the majority of her youthful recollections were of laughter and love shared between family members and neighbors alike. She visited her dad’s parents in Africa every summer, received the highest marks in school, and loved taking ballet lessons. She dreamed of being a ballerina. But her parents had been approached by people who had other plans. She knew she was lucky, but it wasn’t until it was all taken away from her that she realized how truly fortunate she’d been.

When she was twelve, she came home from school one day to find three strange men in dark suits sitting in the salon. Her mother asked her to join them, her eyes puffy from crying. Over the next couple of hours, the men explained that they would be taking her on an adventure. She would meet children from all over the world and some of them would be like her – able to hear others’ thoughts and see their memories. While it sounded exciting, she felt uncomfortable because her mother was weeping, her grandmother was glaring at the suited men, and her father was avoiding everyone’s gaze altogether. She asked when the adventure would end and she would return home and the men just smiled. As her mother helped her pack, the adolescent begged her to say no to the men and let her stay. But the decision had been made and agreements signed. She had been told to leave the ballet shoes behind but her grandmother snuck them in one of the bags.

She was in a new country. The U.S.A., everyone called it, with great pride that she never quite understood. She thought it was a loud and somewhat frightening place. People carried guns everywhere and while she was often treated well, her friends who were darker than her, or from different parts of the world, were often harassed when they would leave the camp. She worked diligently to perfect her grasp on the language. She could understand the thoughts that were always being forced upon her by men and women in lab coats who insisted on touching her palms and asking her to tell them what she heard or saw. But she was required to learn their language so that she could understand and speak it without using telepathy. All the children in the camp who, like her, spoke a language other than English, were put in an intense language immersion course. There were other children with her – lots of them. From them, she learned more about augmentation, something she had heard grown-ups whisper about during dinner parties. So many of the children she met in her new residence had been augmented and she wondered if she had too. The children were from all over the world. She met all of them because the group wasn’t too big. There were a little over 70 of them, though sometimes a child would disappear and another would take its place. They were told when they first arrived that they were the last hope for a better future and that their lives would be dedicated to improving the world.

When the children hit puberty, they were sterilized. It wasn’t a choice. There were to be no distractions from their cause. As they grew, they were free to engage in relationships with one another but there would be no marriages or children to occupy their time. She went through puberty and her body changed. She developed curves she wasn’t used to feeling or seeing. Still tiny, both in height, and size, she felt nonetheless like an alien had taken over her physical form. Men looked at her differently now and she didn’t like it. The other kids talked about sex and what they wanted to do or have done to them but all she felt was awkward and out-of-place. She didn’t want anything done to her and she didn’t want to touch anyone else. She wanted to dance but even that was different now. She didn’t move like she once had and it took time to grow comfortable with the fuller hips and breasts that had seemingly sprung into existence overnight. That the very purpose for these changes had been stymied by sterilization made her even more upset. She was growing into a woman’s body but would never be able to use it the way her mother and grandmother had used theirs. She would never know the joy of her own child.

She was thirteen the first time they made her sit in the chair. For a year, she’d led a relatively safe existence. Yes, she missed her family, missed her home, but things had been fine in this new place and she never gave up hope that they would send her home soon. She had met new friends. Some of her friends, like Dinesh, were similar to her. They could read each other’s minds and pull up each other’s memories. But all of that false contentment ended after the chair. She hated it. They strapped her in, with thick leather restraints at her wrists and ankles and another across her chest. The seat itself was cold, metallic. They left the room and turned out the light behind them, leaving her alone in the dark. Over a microphone, they told her to turn on the light from her chair – use her mind to do it. When she couldn’t, they shocked her. Again and again, each time the shock was stronger. When she passed out, they carried her back to the bunks in the children’s barracks and left her there. She awoke that night and Dinesh was sitting on the edge of her bed, his hand on her back. He gave her water and helped her bandage the cuts on her wrists where she’d tried to break free. He’d experienced the chair a few days before her so he knew. He stayed with her while she cried, fed her comfort and jokes through a telepathic connection, and told her he wouldn’t leave her. That was the beginning of their relationship.

The chair became a regular feature of their time in the camp. For those children who showed telepathic tendencies, they could expect to visit the chair at least once a week. For her, it was several times a week because, as they told her, she had special, stronger capabilities. The chair was the worst part of her day. Turn on this light using your powers. Pick up that object with your mind and move it across the room. Tell us what we’re thinking, they’d ask as they touched her palms. She didn’t want to. They were thinking they would kill her if she didn’t show improvement. She could only use her telekinesis when pushed to the brink of passing out. Her ability was tied to a certain pain threshold. Once they determined how much pain it took to get her to act, they administered that amount to her every time they wanted the telekinesis to appear. She learned, like lab rats do, to give them what they wanted in exchange for food, sleep, peace.

Some telepaths didn’t make it out of the chair alive. They were replaced. One of the last children to join the camp was a Russian girl who couldn’t speak English and would fight anyone who crossed her path. But when she touched the Russian girl’s arm, they could communicate – she could understand Russian and explain to the girl what people wanted from her. They formed a friendship that allowed the Russian to settle in with the rest of the children.

At night, she sometimes did things in her sleep that she couldn’t control – she would dream about the chair and then wake up to find she’d lifted the bed next to her, with another child still in it. This caused the adult caretakers to treat her with a mixture of reverence and fear but the rest of the kids just treated it like an amusement. They didn’t mind. Dinesh moved his bed near hers and when the dreams got too bad and it seemed like she might break the furniture, he would enter her mind and calm her down.

When she was sixteen, she was allowed to return home for the first visit since she had left four years before. She discovered she didn’t have much in common with any of her old acquaintances in Paris. She still loved walking through the city with her grandmother but there was a hollowness and a hardness in her now. At night, her mother would hold her as she cried through nightmares. She overheard her grandmother fighting with her parents about what they had done to their only child. She couldn’t help but wonder if she had been a better child, would they have still let her go? What could she have done differently to stay with them instead of being given away? She was ready to return to the camp by the end of the trip, saddened to discover that she no longer fit into her home like she once had.

At age seventeen, her grandmother passed away. She found out from an email sent by her mother and she was told by the caretakers there was no time to attend the funeral. In the quiet of the barracks late that night, Dinesh got in bed with her and they had sex for the first time. They had expected it to feel good, to bring comfort. Instead, they had spent the rest of the night curled up on the floor by their bunks, agonizing with one another as their memories, thoughts and feelings overwhelmed them. It took a few weeks before they were willing to try it again but they did. And they kept doing it till there was no more pain. In place of the pain was a connection they could not sever. They were mentally tied to one another constantly. They could block each other for short periods of time but they enjoyed being able to converse whenever they wanted. When the caretakers discovered they were in constant communication, they explained that it was a lifebond and, at some point, they would share one mind – their memories and feelings would merge and what happened to one, the other would feel. They would be able to see through each other’s eyes at all times. Lifebonds were rare and the couple was examined and tested exhaustively. Other telepaths who bonded in the camp learned to keep it quiet so they wouldn’t have to endure the same scrutiny.

She had begun taking medical courses through the camp’s higher education program. Being a doctor seemed like the best way for her to understand her own body and to offer assistance to others. She didn’t have the capacity for mechanics or engineering that some of the other inmates did. Inmates. At some point, they had all started thinking of themselves as prisoners; the camp was their prison.

They learned to fight in the camp. To defend themselves. To kill, if necessary. They were sent around the world on missions to protect certain leaders or fight against others. Given her diminutive stature, she was a surprisingly good fighter. To her, fighting was not so different from dancing; both involved a choreography of sorts. With fighting, she just had to ensure her choreography was better than her opponent’s. Being outsized never bothered her. She had speed, grace, and intelligence on her side.

She was 25 the first time she took another person’s life and it crippled her mentally. She had told the young boy to get out of the way, told him she’d be forced to shoot if the boy didn’t move. But then the child opened his coat and showed her the bomb he was wearing, his finger on the detonator and she had shot him instantly to protect the people around them in the busy city. She held the dying boy in her arms and saw all of his memories, felt his feelings. She realized the other side thought they were as right as her side. Right and wrong were cloudy. After, she refused to go on another mission, insisting that she was a doctor, not a killer. The caretaker closest to Dinesh grabbed him and put a gun to his head. She would do what they wanted of her when they wanted it or he would die. They had been bonded for two years at that point. She complied. If one of them died, the other would so they both did what they could to protect each other. She went on another seven missions, some of which were kill missions. Dinesh went on nine missions, five of which were kill missions. They were sharing a single mind at that point so what he did, she experienced and vice versa. Every death haunted her.

On breaks, she would travel with other inmates to visit their families and homes. Breaks became a way for them to escape what they did the rest of the time. They’d been told they would be the Peacekeepers but they all had blood on their hands. They didn’t think of themselves as peacekeepers. That was just the title of the group who forced them to keep fighting, keep destroying in the name of peace. Dinesh would take her to Mumbai and she would bring him to Paris. Dinesh’s best friend outside of her was an American named John who spoke with a funny lilt and brought them to Mississippi in the heat of the summer time. The three were close. Another time, she took a trip with her best friend, Adjoa. They visited Adjoa’s home town, other parts of West Africa, and ended the trip in Paris. Tatyana, the Russian who’d been ready to beat every one of them up when she’d first arrived in camp, brought a large group with her to Moscow one winter break. And then there was that final walk through Paris with Dinesh. She didn’t know how he’d found the money for a ring, how he’d managed to hide it from the trainers that routinely ransacked their belongings, looking for contraband, but there he was, on one knee, the Seine on her right, the Tour Eiffel on her left, asking her to be his wife. Even if they never found a way to sneak off for an hour and get married legally, it was the idea that he wanted to share something so traditional, so normal with her that had made her burst into tears of happiness. She’d said yes without hesitation and he’d slipped the ring on her finger. Maybe it would never happen, but in their minds, they had been married from the day they’d bonded.

Relations deteriorated amongst and within various nations. Countries were torn apart by civil wars and former allies turned on one another. The 60 surviving members of the U.N. Peacekeepers program were gathered and split into groups of twelve. Each group would be placed on either a space station or ship and given a different objective. This was the Resurrection program, the U.N.’s last grasp at success for the Peacekeepers. The stations and ships were labeled Resurrection I through V. Resurrection I was tasked with finding a method of transporting humans through space at a speed faster than the speed of light. Resurrection II was to look for new planets that would be hospitable to human life. Mankind on Earth didn’t have much time left at the rate humans were consuming resources. Resurrection III worked on combatting pollution and climate change, in an effort to extend the timeline for human existence on the planet. Resurrection IV’s assignment was to create a method of time or dimensional travel. Resurrection V was sent to Mars to formulate a plan for colonizing the red planet.

Not every group had success. Her station did. They found a way to harness her telekinetic abilities to travel through time. It was painful but she was accustomed to pain by now. They were not to disturb timelines they visited – that would be a later phase of the project. For now, it sufficed that they could successfully jump to different points in the Earth’s history. The amount of energy and fuel it took to make the jumps was almost prohibitive. They didn’t have the technology of the 23rd century; dilithium crystals and warp drives would have been unfathomable to them. But they could successfully send small pods, several at a time if need be, backwards in time. They hadn’t attempted a forward jump because who knew what the future might hold and if they’d be able to escape. Even on the back jumps, things sometimes went wrong. The crew used savvy, and Sabine’s medical skills, to save more than one crew member.

She was in her thirties now. More than 20 years of her life had gone to the U.N. Peacekeepers. In the eyes of those who held power, they were no closer to bringing peace than they had been at the start. The program was dismantled, with their trainers and ground crews sent into hiding or executed. The U.N. was on its last legs. Most nations declared the Peacekeepers enemies of the state – it was, seemingly, the only thing anyone had agreed on in years. Suddenly, the fact that there were augmented humans among them was used as a justification for taking them all out by whatever means necessary.

The first station to be shot down was Resurrection III. It was taken out by one of the factions of what had recently been the Peoples’ Republic of China. Resurrection II was called back to Earth and after they landed, no one heard from them again. The other groups assumed they had been incarcerated or killed. At that point, Resurrection I disappeared. The Resurrection I and II ships had worked closely with one another and both had been successful in their missions – Resurrection II had indeed found other planets that could host human life and Resurrection I had developed a method of travel that broke the speed of light. The remaining Resurrection crews, IV and V, hoped that Resurrection I had fled to the safety of another planet because if not, they only had enough supplies to last a month at most.

The day Resurrection V, Dinesh’s ship, was shot down was seared into her mind. She couldn’t avoid remembering it on an almost daily basis, even now, three years later. Resurrection V had been called back to Earth and knowing what had happened to Resurrection II, the crew made plans to rendezvous with Resurrection IV. They would either move the time travel pods aboard the ship or bring the V crew onto the station, but the groups were adamant they would not return to Earth or allow themselves to be shot down. None of them were aware that the U.S. had developed missiles that could be shot into space and reliably hit a moving target midway between the Earth and Mars. Their best-laid plans were thwarted. In the moments before the ship was destroyed, as its crew realized what their fate would be, Dinesh had begged her to let him go. She was ready to jump back in time, despite the resources it would expend, so that she could save him and bring him back to her station. But he was ready to die.

The moment his ship was hit, she felt the loss. She crumpled to the ground, unable to handle the loss of one-half of her mind. She didn’t want to continue. For several days, it was unclear she would live as her crewmates did all they could to nurse her back to a state of semi-consciousness. She was their only hope for escape, as they played a cat-and-mouse game of hide and seek from those on the ground who wanted to shoot them out of the sky. Time and fuel were running out. On the fourth day, she regained consciousness and they began to discuss a forward jump, if not for all of them, then at least some.

She would never be able to admit it to herself, let alone anyone else, but Dinesh’s willingness to die, to sacrifice not just his life, but hers as well, had cut her deeply. She understood his fatigue, his uncertainty that she could actually save him by jumping but it did not soothe her. Even now she felt the abandonment of her bondmate sharply. Combined with her unresolved feelings regarding her parents’ decision to let her join the Peacekeepers, Dinesh’s decision to sever their connection through death left her convinced she’d never really been worthy of anyone’s true devotion and she would probably never deserve love no matter how hard she tried.

They seemed to receive a temporary reprieve from the chase. Nations on the ground seemed more interested in fighting one another and they had a momentary surge of hope that they would be able to survive. And then Paris was nuked. In the span of five days, she lost her bondmate, her parents, and the city she’d called home. They watched the bombing from monitors in the station. After the bombing, the crew realized it was only a matter of time till someone on Earth remembered they were still up there, floating in orbit, and try to take them out. The crew made rushed plans to jump, this time forward. She secretly hoped jumping all of them at the same time would kill her. She was gutted. She’d lost anything that mattered to her and couldn’t imagine a future with any hope.

In her daze of sorrow, she had mistyped the amount of time they were to move forward; it was supposed to be 200 years but she’d typed 220. They ended up in the Starfleet shipyards in Riverside, Iowa. When asked why he’d chosen Iowa, John explained it seemed like one of their better options, should the country be ravaged by nuclear war. Iowa was in the middle, not home to any military base of importance. He chose Riverside specifically because cousins of his had lived there when he was a kid. And that is how all twelve of them ended up in the same place McCoy and Kirk had departed from to join the Academy.

They were found by Starfleet security and once they’d explained their story, Section 31 descended upon them.


	48. Chapter 48

Sabine ended the connection there, not wanting McCoy to find out that Cass was a part of Section 31, and their handler. It was one thing for her to be honest about her own past. But she didn’t want to take liberties with Cass’s secrets. Besides, she had given him more than enough information for one person to absorb.

McCoy soaked up everything she’d shared in a matter of seconds. He tried to tell her he understood and he loved her despite the worst things he had seen. He wanted her to know it wasn’t her fault. And he desperately needed her to understand she was worthy of his love and devotion – he would never forgive Dinesh or her parents for the scars they’d left on her. But the connection between them only went one way. He felt her let go of his hands and the room came spinning back. Sabine had deliberately chosen to keep their connection one-sided for several reasons – first, it would help her focus solely on sharing her past with him – no distractions from his mind. Second, it allowed her to be in a position to help handle his pain when the connection severed. And finally, perhaps most importantly to her, she wouldn’t be able to hear or feel his disgust over the things she’d done. But it also meant she had to wait for his reaction once he regained his ability to speak. Just after the connection, he looked seasick and she grabbed the trash can.

He retched and she held the garbage can up to his face so he could vomit.

He couldn’t breathe.

His heart was pounding. He saw stars before his eyes. He was going to be sick again. His head felt like it might explode. Her entire life was in there. He couldn’t stop seeing memories from her past.

He realized she was saying something. Her hands were on his back, rubbing his shoulders as he bent over and put his head between his legs.

She was speaking to him in French. He could understand her perfectly.

“Ça va aller, mon amour,” she said softly. “Je suis ici. Je vais t’aider.” It was beautiful, hearing her speak in her own language. Unfortunately, he was having a hard time appreciating that beauty when everything he’d ever eaten was dead-set on leaving his system in a most unpleasant way.

“Sabine,” he gasped. He grabbed her leg.

“I am here,” she switched to Standard. “I will not leave you. But let me get you something for the nausea.”

“No. Stay here. I don’t need it. There’s nothing left to come up.” As he said it, he felt himself gag again, dry-heaving.

“Let me grab your bag. It will take me two seconds. It is right there.” She gestured to his desk. She stood to grab his bag. He nodded wordlessly. She brought the bag to him along with the glass of water he’d given her earlier in the day. She grabbed a hypospray from his kit while he drank some water.

“Hold still,” she commanded gently. He did his best to comply, though he was shivering. She administered the hypo quickly to his neck.

“You will stop heaving now,” she told him, brushing his hair off his forehead with the back of her hand. His stomach was settling down but his head was killing him. It took everything he had to form sentences.

“Good God,” he muttered. “How did you survive? How are you here, treating all of this so normally?”

He couldn’t convey to her his awe that she’d overcome so much. That she and her friends could fit into this new place so seamlessly. She’d been right – what she had shown him was beyond anything he could have imagined, even in his wildest flights of fancy.

Suddenly, he felt a weight lift from his mind. It was still too crowded in there – too many memories for one person’s mind. But the pain was greatly reduced. He looked over at Sabine. She was helping him, he realized. Taking the pain away and onto herself. It was unfair – she’d just relived the worst parts of her life for his sake and now she was taking on pain for him. He grabbed her hand, palm against palm so he could tell her, without words, how much it meant to him – how grateful he was that she’d shown him everything, that she was shouldering his agony. He needed her to know he loved her still, would never blame her for the things she’d done. She smiled at him in return and pulled her hand away.

“Merci, mon amour. Focus right now on breathing deeply. We will have plenty of time to talk about everything once you feel better,” she caressed his cheek and he laid down, resting his head on her lap while she ran her fingers through his hair. He did as she told him, concentrating on each breath. His eyes were closed so he missed her wipe a drop of blood from her nose as she sat there silently with him. She was beyond relieved at his reaction – that he hadn’t stared at her like a pariah or ordered her out of his apartment and life.

“You don’t have to this, darlin’. I can handle the full pain.” He had opened his eyes just after she’d caught the blood from her nose and he could see her forehead creased in pain.

“It is not so bad. And you are recovering. Let me do this for you. It makes up for what you had to go through because of my lies.”

“I’m so sorry. For all the horrible things you’ve experienced. All of y’all. But especially you, darlin’. You’re so much stronger than I imagined. And you’re a good person. Stop blaming yourself – for all of it.”

She did not immediately reply and her eyes were filled with sadness and shame.

“I’ll tell you every day for the rest of your life you aren’t to blame.”

“Yet I will still carry the guilt.”

“I know. And I wish I could take it away.” He paused for a moment. “Thank you,” he whispered, “for showing me the truth.”

“I needed to be honest with you. But we must be careful. We cannot talk about this openly.”

“I understand. I won’t say anything to anyone. This stays between us.”

“Je t’aime, Leo.”

He reached up to her downturned face and kissed her in return.

Sabine wasn’t sure how long the after-effects of their meld would last. Her best estimate was no longer than 24 hours. But that gave them all of the afternoon and into the evening to share thoughts and feelings with one another. When he felt better, she’d stop blocking the connection that allowed for each of them to feel the other’s emotions and hear one another’s thoughts. She was done sharing memories for the time being – he’d seen enough to keep him busy for now. And more importantly, he knew the truth and could believe her going forward. McCoy napped briefly while she continued to massage his temples and hold back his pain. The ache began to ease after the first hour and in the second hour, McCoy woke up. She knew he was still uncomfortable with all the memories rolling around in his head and she assured him, telepathically, that the memories would fade. By this time the next day, it would be like nothing had happened, except he’d remember what she’d shared with him. She opened the connection between them, allowing thoughts and feelings to cross over.

_We can talk to each other the way you and Cass do?_

Mmm-hmm, si tu veux. 

He loved hearing her speak French and understanding what she was saying.

_I’ve always been a little jealous of how you two can hold conversations that no one else can hear._

No need to be jealous now. But this will only last for tonight. After, I will need to touch you to communicate like this, comme d’habitude.

_So mind melds –_

Leave a very strong connection that lasts longer than any other telepathic communication. And it seems that mine, in particular, are especially potent.

He had so many questions for her and they spent most of the afternoon and evening  talking. He asked her for details on some of what she’d shown him, asked her to tell him more about what life had been like in her time – what did she miss most, what had Paris been like. He asked her what her favorite jump backwards in time had been and she shared memories of different jumps with him. They talked about why he had seen her so often in the library; she had been teaching herself everything she could about what had happened to humanity after that last jump. She told him how strange it was to come across her name, the names of her crewmates, in history PADDs. How strange it was to realize they’d been assumed dead because the station had been blown up shortly after their last jump. She told him her theories as to what might have happened to the Resurrection I ship. They avoided spending too much time talking about Dinesh or her parents. He could feel those were still raw topics for her and he didn’t want to offend her or make things worse, even as his anger for what they’d put her through swelled. It was obvious from what he’d seen through the connection that while she felt abandoned by her former bondmate and parents, she also loved all of them and missed them terribly. McCoy wasn’t ready to tackle all of that while his head still felt like it was stuck in a vice. After dinner, they were still talking about what he’d seen from her past, as well as other topics they had longed to discuss with one another.

_About the dream – the one with you and I walking…that’s a memory of you and Dinesh – why am I there?_

I am not sure. I wish I could tell you why. It keeps me up at night.

_That’s what keeps you up? I’d think the other nightmares would keep you from ever wanting to sleep._

Mmm, yes. They do not help. But I am very confused about why you and I are sharing dreams.

_Damn. I was hoping you’d have an answer for that. All my studies have indicated only bondmates can share dreams._

I know. We believed the same in my time.

They continued to discuss the shared dreams a bit more and Sabine admitted that she had yet to discover whether they could share a lifebond. She omitted any mention of Cass, referring only to Section 31 and not to her handler specifically. She also refrained from saying anything too specific about the bond she knew already existed between them. They moved on to other topics eventually.

_What was the hardest thing to adjust to here?_

Probably transporters. They still freak me out. The short skirts on our uniforms are a bit odd too. I would have assumed such gendered dressing to be outdated by now.

_I can’t help but like the way you look in the skirts. But your concern is duly noted._

They shared a smirk with one another as he ran his hand along her leg.

The male sex drive has not changed much in 223 years. 

_I’ll assume that’s a compliment._

I am certainly not complaining about your libido.

Another look passed between the two lovers. Now that they’d had a few hours to process all the events of the day – from the lost patient, to their reconciliation and her final willingness to share the past with him – they were now able to focus on one another as partners – or at least, McCoy could. He was painfully aware of how attractive she looked in his tee shirt and shorts. Everything he’d learned about her that afternoon had only reaffirmed his love for the woman reclining next to him and there was a part of him that burned with the desire to show her just how much he adored her. McCoy cleared his throat.

_What do you like best about now?_

Besides the lack of warfare?

She gave him that twist of her mouth.

I like the diversity – not just different kinds of humans but species from whole new worlds. I love seeing how much has improved – science, medicine, the arts – it is amazing how much progress has been made. But if I have to choose one thing? It would be you.

Her answer stopped him in his tracks for a moment. He looked into her eyes and cupped her chin in his hand.

_You’re my favorite thing too._

He kissed her slowly and they enjoyed the shared sensations of feeling one another’s reactions. By this time, the pain was nothing more than a slight headache – Sabine was still holding it back from McCoy, who felt better as some of her memories had started to dissipate. His head felt less crowded. After dinner, they had moved to his bedroom, unsure of when Jim would return and not wanting to answer any questions he might have seeing the two of them silently conversing with one another. As they both lay on his bed, kissing, McCoy began to sense her desire to be with him come to the forefront of the feelings emanating from her.

_Darlin’, you know I can feel your emotions, right?_

He wondered how she could have forgotten.

I know. 

A smile formed on her lips.

_This is a dangerous place to be._

Why?

She was being positively coy; there was something he was missing.

_I don’t want to overstep our agreement regarding sex. There’s a beautiful woman in my bed practically begging me with her thoughts to fuck her brains out._

Mmmm, such a way with words.

He frowned at her as she smiled radiantly back at him.

But you should absolutely fuck my brains out.

She kept smiling that same coquettish smile while pulling closer to him. He was aroused, she knew it, and he couldn’t understand what had gotten into her or what he was missing. Why was she playing this dangerous game?

Seriously, Leo? Have you not figured it out? I already shared almost my entire mind with you. We can do whatever we want to one another right now. We are joined for at least the next several hours.

It hit him like a ton of bricks.

_Good God, woman, why didn’t you just say so?_

He grasped her waist and pulled her to him.

I did tell you we were connected. And I was hoping you would figure it out and make a move without me explaining.

“I’m still… new… to all… of this mind… stuff…. You… gotta… spell it out… for me,” he whispered between kisses.

“My bad,” she sighed contentedly. He rolled on top of her.

Sabine hadn’t meant to change the conversation from questions about her past to sex. It had just happened naturally when he kissed her. She moved against him, feeling his arousal, and lifted her face to meet his. All of his nerves were on fire. He worried he wouldn’t last very long at this rate.  She smiled and he remembered she could tell what he was thinking.

You will be wonderful. I am not timing us, you know.

_Damn you. There are no secrets now, huh?_

He buried his face in her neck, licking and nibbling while she giggled.

“I want you so badly,” she murmured.

“You’re in luck. I’m right here,” he replied, aggressively taking her mouth with his own. He thrust his tongue deep and her own rose up to meet it.

“Mmmmm,” she moaned as she rocked against him. He lost the ability to think coherently for a moment.

He didn’t even know what time it was. It could be the middle of the night for all he knew.

It is 8 pm.

“Stop that,” he growled, sucking on her earlobe, working his hands up her stomach and taking her shirt with them.

“I cannot help it,” she murmured, her voice heady with desire. “It is like your thoughts are on a loudspeaker in my head.” She ran her hands through his hair and sighed with recurrent satisfaction at being able to feel him without gloves. She still hadn’t gotten over how good it felt to touch him, skin to skin.

He had pulled her shirt up to just underneath her breasts when he stopped momentarily and grabbed one of her hands, pressing her palm to his lips. The response he felt from her was one of supreme delight. It occurred to him that even though she’d been going without gloves in the bedroom for over a month now, he had never considered paying this kind of attention to her hands.

_Your hands are sensitive when we’re intimate. That’s a little more like Vulcans than you led me to believe._

I did not… mislead you. I just told you… I do not have sex via handshake… It was our first meeting… was I supposed to tell you my hands… are sensitive during sex? That hardly seems like… proper break room conversation… And anyway… my hands are sensitive… all the time. 

Her telepathic defense was breathless as he continued to assault her palm with licks and nips. He wondered why he hadn’t thought to do this sooner. She was close to climax.

_You’re about to come because I’m kissing your hand. You sure you don’t have sex with your hands?_

“Umphhh…,” her vocal response was incomprehensible but she writhed beneath him and he felt her pleasure like a livewire inside him as she climaxed.

“Good Lord, Sabine,” he growled. “Keep this up and you’ll make me come before I have a chance to be inside you.”

“Then we just wait for you to be ready again. We have time,” she gasped, her climax subsiding. She pulled her hand out of his and brushed his cheek with it. He felt both her pleasure and his own and it was almost overwhelming. Her voice purred inside his mind.

Mmmm, you will grow accustomed to it.

_There are other things I want to get accustomed to right now._

He gave her a devilish look.

_As good as you look in my shirt, you’d look even better without anything on._

De même pour toi.

He quickly removed her top and his own, between kisses. When she was naked from the waist up, he set about removing the gym shorts she’d borrowed from him earlier. She stretched out beneath him in nothing more than her lacy boy shorts. He took a moment to appreciate the view then grinned wolfishly at her.

_Still too much clothing._

You should talk - your pants are still on. That is a crime of some sort.

He made short work of her remaining item of clothing and she was successful in removing his pants but he requisitioned her hands in his own before she could get his boxer briefs off.

“Goddamn, woman,” he panted as she rocked her hips against him again, knowing exactly how to touch him to illicit maximum enjoyment on his part. He kissed her deeply and she moaned in pleasure. He broke off the kiss and looked her right in the eyes.

“I love you,” he said softly, stroking her cheek.

“I love you too,” she whispered, and they basked in feeling one another’s love.

“I want to please you for as long as you’ll have me,” he said huskily, kissing her neck. She grasped the bedsheets with an outstretched hand and arched her back as he stroked softly against her clit. He was ready to go down on her when they both heard a commotion outside the room.

“Bones! Hey, Bones, where are you?” Jim called out and as his voice came closer to the bedroom door, Sabine grew anxious enough to lock the door with her mind.

“Nice,” McCoy whispered appreciatively.

Give me something to throw on. 

Jim was never one to give up easy and he was banging on the door.

“Go away, Jim. I’m busy,” McCoy called out as he grabbed his t-shirt from the floor and tossed it to Sabine. He pulled his pants on quickly while Jim continued knocking.

“It’s important!”

“Goddammit. What the hell is so important?”

“Open the door so I can tell you!”

McCoy looked at Sabine, who had thrown his shirt on and scrambled under the blanket to cover her bare ass and legs. She nodded at him to open the door and he grudgingly acquiesced.

It is the only way we will get him to leave us alone. 

_I’m gonna kill him._

He opened the door and Jim came breezing through then stopped short at the sight of Sabine in McCoy’s shirt with the covers pulled up over her chest. He turned to look at a bare-chested McCoy and then broke out in a grin.

“Hey guys. Didn’t realize I was interrupting something…” Jim was delighted to see they had resolved their latest misunderstanding. He could only assume Sabine had shared the truth about her past with his roommate.

“You have ten seconds to tell me what’s so goddamned important before I haul off and smack you,” McCoy growled.

“Okay, okay. There’s a council called for tomorrow – all the third and fourth year cadets are to attend. No one knows what it’s about. I tried to comm you but you didn’t answer.” He smiled again. “Now I see why…”

“Get out now,” McCoy snarled but Sabine intervened.

“Jim, I hear congratulations are in order – you beat the Kobayashi Maru,” she said smoothly, causing Jim to beam and McCoy to grumble some more.

“Why, thank you,” Jim enthused. “Didn’t realize word had spread so fast.” That was disingenuous at best. It was all anyone on campus had been talking about since he’d bested the test the day before.

“First time ever a cadet has succeeded against the test – that is quite an accomplishment,” Sabine wasn’t sure it really counted as winning if you reprogrammed the simulation but what did she know? Jim soaked up her praise like a cat sitting in sunshine.

“We done here?” McCoy growled, tired of seeing his roommate preen and eager to get back to what he and Sabine had started.

“Yeah, but tomorrow, at 10am – be there!”

McCoy slammed the door on Jim and locked it. Sabine was shaking her head, smiling. He crossed the room in record time, removing his pants and boxer briefs along the way, climbing back in bed, his eyes locked on Sabine’s.

“Where were we?”

“Here,” she replied, taking his shirt off and throwing it on the floor. He pushed the covers off of her and kissed her hard and deep. They rolled together so that she was on top. Jim’s interruption was quickly forgotten. She pressed herself against him, feeling his hard shaft on her thigh.

They held onto each other, the kiss deepening and she straddled his lap, enjoying the touch and smell of him, the feeling of his arms around her, his hands all over her.

“Leo, si te plaît! Je ne veux pas attendre plus longtemps,” she entreated him. He saw no reason to hold off any longer.

“Okay, love.” It wasn’t lost on McCoy that he was only the third man she’d been with – second, if you didn’t count drunken trysts not remembered the next morning. He wanted this to be as good for her as he knew it would be for him. McCoy wrapped his arms around her and guided her down to the mattress, on top of her once again. She wrapped her legs around his hips, spreading herself open for him. It was all the invitation he needed. He entered her slowly, enjoying her moans and gasps. When he was fully seated inside her, he withdrew almost all the way and slowly penetrated her again. His fingers stroked her clit and he felt her experience wave after wave of pleasure. He grabbed her hand and pressed it against his, intertwining fingers and she cried out in satisfaction. He felt her come, the wet warmth spilling out as he would withdraw only to thrust back inside her again.

“Leo, Leo, Leo…” It was the only word she could remember. Just his name over and over in a chant of bliss.

“That’s it, beautiful. Come hard. You feel so good,” he whispered in her ear, kissing her neck gently.

“Ahhh, mmmmm!” She was unable to form words but didn’t care because he could feel everything she was feeling. And as his thrusts grew faster, as he pushed deeper, she met him, thrust for thrust. She knew what he wanted. Knew to bite his shoulder or suck on his earlobe and how to shift her body to meet his at exactly the right moment. Their hands remained intertwined, and with his free hand, he brushed the hair away from her forehead, caressed her cheek. Her other arm was wrapped around his back, her fingernails digging softly into his skin.

“I’m gonna come,” he gasped.

“Yes,” she replied breathlessly. “Come with me.”

She reached climax before he did but they felt simultaneous satisfaction as he spilled into her. After he finished, he collapsed onto her and she wrapped both arms around him, lightly rubbing his back. They enjoyed the afterglow of their lovemaking with silent, sweet kisses and locked eyes.

“I cannot believe I have been so lucky to find you. Even luckier that you want stay with me after everything.”

“There’s no one else I’d want to be with, darlin’.”

They continued to talk to each other, a mix of vocal conversations and silent ones as they settled against one another for the night.

_You know it’ll be hard to back away from this._

What do you mean?

_Now that I’ve had you, it’ll be hard to go back to no sex._

Who says we have to go back to that?

She smiled at him.

I cannot promise it will be perfectly smooth the first couple of times, but I have better grasp of my abilities than ever before. It is only a matter of time till I can have sex and be in complete control. Until then, I can certainly keep us from anything like what happened at Christmas.

“So sex is officially on the table?”

Instead of responding with thoughts or words, she kissed the tip of his nose. He felt her happiness wash over him and she felt his giddiness inside her. As excited as they both were, the emotional toll of what they’d shared began to catch up with them. They fell asleep tangled up in each other’s arms.

Sometime late in the night, when all was quiet inside and outside the apartment, they awoke. McCoy was spooning Sabine and she could feel how aroused he was. In the haze that happens between sleep and full wakefulness, neither was sure who made the first move but by the time both were wide awake, his breath was ragged against the back of her shoulder, and his arms were wrapped around her chest, clutching one of her hands close. Her other arm was extended behind her, her hand holding onto his backside as he thrust into her, his hips snapping against her rear. They didn’t make a sound – no words, no thoughts – just desire, lust, and love – as he took her again from behind, slow and sure, allowing for maximum pleasure on both sides. In the afterglow, they were dewy from the exertion, satisfied beyond all ability to speak. They quickly fell asleep once again, still clutching one another tightly.

His alarm went off in the early morning and Sabine rose reluctantly, not wanting to leave Leo. She felt their connection fading and it depressed her. She grabbed her gloves and put them back on.

“Cheer up,” he said as he watched her dress. “Whatever happens, I’m still yours and you’re still mine.”

“I know,” she replied. “I just miss feeling your thoughts and feelings in my head and it will be a long morning.”

He got out of bed and took her in his arms. He grabbed one of her hands and took off the glove she had just put on. She watched him silently as he pressed his palm against hers. They both gasped as they felt one another in their minds. There was no pain this time – Sabine limited their connection to emotions and thoughts – no memories.

“Comm me when you get out of the board review. I’ve got whatever this council meeting is but I’ll come to you after that. We’ll get through this together. You don’t have to do any of this alone anymore.”

He brushed his lips against her knuckles and she leaned into him.

“Thank you. I love you.”

“Love you too, darlin’,” he replied. “Good luck, not that you need it.”

She broke away from him and smiled bravely.

“À bientôt.”

“See ya soon.”

Neither of them knew they wouldn’t see each other for over 48 hours after that and when they did meet again face to face, everything would be different.


	49. Chapter 49

“I take it you guys worked everything out?” Kirk was trying not to be _too_ nosy.

“Your gift for noticing the obvious is impressive,” McCoy muttered, tugging on the collar of his Cadet dress uniform. He hated wearing the dress uniform. Most cadet clothing came in one shade – red. And that was fine, he didn’t care about the color. Besides, he was in medical scrubs most of the time. But any formal event or group meeting like this required the dress uniform and the jacket made him feel like he was choking every time.

 The two cadets left their apartment, heading to Assembly Hall.

“She showed you everything?” Kirk asked in a stage whisper.

“Shut up,” McCoy hissed. “We don’t talk about it outside the apartment, you fool.”

“Lighten up, Bones. No one is around,” Jim gestured to the empty street. McCoy didn’t care. He’d made a promise to Sabine and he wasn’t going to break it. Seeing the scowl on his roommate’s face, Kirk opted to change the subject.

“So, what do you think this meeting’s about?” He smiled, thinking of his own theory.

“I don’t know but you can wipe that shit-eating grin off your face – it’s definitely not to praise you for beating the Kobayashi Maru,” McCoy knew exactly what his friend had been thinking.

“Come on,” Jim whined amiably. “Why can’t you let me enjoy this?”

“I’m not stoppin’ you from boasting to anyone who’ll listen but I’m tellin’ ya – they don’t call an assembly of every third and fourth year student just to give you a commendation for cheating.”

“It wasn’t cheating,” Jim said, feeling wounded.

“Yeah, okay,” McCoy replied, no longer paying attention to the other cadet. He was looking at his communicator to see if Sabine had made it through her hearing yet. He imagined she would get out at about the same time the assembly started so he set the communicator to silent to prevent it from distracting everyone around him during the meeting.

The roommates were some of the first cadets there and grabbed seats towards the front. They noticed that the heads of every department were sitting at the semi-circular dais on the floor of the hall.  Jim was ebullient while McCoy thought about the night before and everything he’d learned about Sabine. He hoped she was okay. There was an ache to be with her again in his gut.

Third and fourth year cadets filed into the hall and promptly at 10am, the Dean of the Academy, Admiral Barnett, began speaking.

“This session has been called to resolve a troubling matter,” his voice was grave. “James T. Kirk, step forward.”

In an instant, Jim’s good mood was erased.  He looked over at McCoy in dismay and McCoy sighed as Jim climbed over him to walk down to one of two podiums set up before the dais. At that moment, McCoy felt his communicator vibrate. Of course. Sabine would call now and there was no way he could sneak out, especially if he and the other cadets who had assisted in Jim’s third attempt at the Kobayashi Maru were to be implicated. He knew he should never have agreed to help Jim a third time. McCoy turned in his seat and made eye contact with Uhura. She rolled her eyes but he could see her discomfort. Once Jim made it to the podium, he turned and looked at McCoy with something close to worry on his face.

“Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to Regulation 1-7.3 of the Starfleet Code. Is there anything you care to say before we begin sir?”

Jim grimaced but quickly replied. “Yes. I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly.”

After he spoke, one of the instructors from across the aisle stood. McCoy turned to get a look at the accuser. He was Vulcan. McCoy had seen him around campus and was pretty sure he taught linguistics courses.

“Step forward please,” Admiral Barnett directed the instructor. “This is Commander Spock. He’s one of our most distinguished graduates. He’s programmed the Kobayashi Maru exam for the last four years.” Commander Spock reached the other podium in front of the dais. “Commander?” prompted Barnett.

As Spock began explaining exactly how Kirk had violated the ethical code, McCoy’s communicator vibrated silently again. _Dammit, Jim_ , he thought. _I was supposed to be able to sneak outta here and take this comm and now I’m stuck here_. He wished he had brought his PADD along though given the slight possibility that he and the other cadets who had been there during the test yesterday may be reprimanded, it was probably better he didn’t have anything with him that would give the appearance of disinterest.

Jim and Commander Spock were verbally sparring when Spock took the gloves off.

“You of all people should know, Cadet Kirk. A captain cannot cheat death.”

“I of all people,” Jim repeated, almost incredulous that his accuser was going there.

“Your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?” The Vulcan spoke of Jim’s father’s death as though it were just a random event that had happened. McCoy cocked his eyebrow. Jim was going to be on fire tonight. Whoever this Vulcan was, he had just pushed a major Kirk button. One of the few times McCoy had seen his roommate lash out, it was because someone at a bar near campus had made a flippant comment about Kirk’s father. Jim had given the guy a black eye and bloody nose within seconds. McCoy had learned quickly you didn’t poke that bear.

The two men continued to go back and forth for another minute before an academic aide handed a PADD to Admiral Barnett. Barnett looked at the PADD and interrupted the proceedings.

“We’ve received a distress call from Vulcan,” Barnett began and Spock lifted his eyes quickly from his podium in surprise. “With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all cadets present to report to Hanger One immediately. Dismissed.”

There was a collective gasp and buzz as upper-class cadets began talking to one another. Hanger One meant they were being deployed. This almost never happened. McCoy made his way to Jim and reached out to give him a reassuring pat on the back. He knew Jim was angry about the comments regarding his father.

“Who was that pointy-eared bastard?” he asked McCoy.

“I don’t know, but I like him,” McCoy replied, never able to let a good ribbing of Jim Kirk pass him by. He left Jim staring after him and opened his communicator, rapidly hitting Sabine’s comm ID.

“Hello,” she answered immediately and he could hear the tension in her voice.

“Darlin’, are you okay? How’d it go?”

“Yes, I am fine. The Board review was fine. Have you heard about Vulcan?” she asked him and he realized where the tension was coming from.

“Yeah, they just dismissed us to head to Hanger One,” he said, walking to the hanger as he talked to her.

“My classes are cancelled for the day and I am heading to the clinic. Leo, this is real. It is not a drill.”

“I know. It’ll be fine though. They’re not gonna send a bunch of wet-behind-the-ears cadets into a situation that can’t be easily resolved.”

“I hope you are right,” she sounded doubtful.

“Me too,” he replied, letting a bit of his nervousness show. “I’ll comm you when I know which ship I end up on. It’ll probably be the Enterprise.” He knew Captain Pike wanted him on the senior medical staff for the flagship and Pike had more seniority than any other captain currently at the Academy.

“Mmm, okay. Take care, love.”

“You too, beautiful,” he replied and they said their goodbyes. So much for his plans to see her today. God, he hoped this wasn’t going to be a difficult mission. It wouldn’t be, right? Vulcan was a peaceful planet, well within the Alpha quadrant. Surely they’d be back quickly, maybe even by the end of the day. Kirk caught up to him and they walked to the hanger together to find out their assignments.

Sure enough, McCoy was assigned to the Enterprise. But as the names were read, Jim became impatient. Once every cadet had been assigned, Jim turned to McCoy.

“He didn’t call my name,” Jim brushed past McCoy and chased the commander down. “Commander! Sir, you didn’t call my name. Kirk, James T.?”

McCoy made his way over to where Jim was standing with the commander, in enough time to hear the commander tell his roommate that he was on academic suspension and grounded till the board ruled. Jim hung his head in disappointment and that part of McCoy, the one that wanted to protect his roommate from every slight, the part that usually lay dormant, came out.

“Jim, the board’ll rule in your favor. Most likely. Look, Jim, I gotta go.”

“Yeah, get going. Be safe.” Perhaps unintentionally, Jim was giving him puppy dog eyes. McCoy walked away but he only made it a few steps before he turned around. This was a horrible idea but he couldn’t leave Jim there looking like a lonely orphan. He walked back to his friend.

“Dammit, come with me.”

Jim followed him, eyeing Uhura as she breezed past them angrily.

“Bones, where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

Bones got his communicator out while walking to the medical bay inside the hanger. He commed Sabine once again.

“Yes?” she replied, sounding out of breath.

“Enterprise, just like I thought. Jim’ll be there with me.”

“Good. I have to go.” She was being called to the floor to prep beds for any incoming injuries that may be sustained.

“See you soon.”

“Be safe. I love you.”

“Love you too.” He closed his communicator. God, he’d feel a lot better if she were coming with him. Instead, there was Jim trailing along behind him.

“What are you doing?” Jim asked as McCoy looked for the right hypo to administer.

“I’m doing you a favor. I couldn’t just leave you there looking all pathetic. Take a seat,” he pointed to the only clear table in the bay. “I’m going to give you a vaccine against viral infection from Melvaran mud fleas.”

He jabbed the hypo into his friend’s neck.

“Owww! What for?” Jim absolutely hated hypos from McCoy.

“Give you the symptoms.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re gonna start to lose vision in your left eye,” McCoy replied, grabbing the antidote and a couple of other necessary hypos.

“Yeah, I already have,” Jim responded, his face twitching.

“Oh, and you’re gonna get a really bad headache and a flop sweat,” he propped the other man against his shoulder.

“You call this a favor?” Jim asked incredulously.

“Yeah, you owe me one.” McCoy grimaced as he half-carried his roommate to one of the two shuttles heading to the Enterprise. They were greeted by a Starfleet clearance agent who scanned their badges. He frowned at his PADD screen.

“Kirk, James T. He’s not cleared for duty aboard the Enterprise.” He looked disapprovingly at the two cadets.

“Medical code states the treatment and transport of a patient is to be determined at the discretion of his attending physician, which is me,” McCoy shot back. “So, I’m taking Mr. Kirk aboard.” He raised his eyebrow at the agent. “Or would you like to explain to Captain Pike why the Enterprise warped into a crisis without one of its senior medical officers?”

The agent stared at the two cadets for a moment.

“As you were,” he grumbled reluctantly.

“As YOU were,” McCoy snapped at him, skimming by with a nearly unconscious Jim.

McCoy was too preoccupied making sure Jim didn’t puke all over the shuttle and looking at the amazing view of the spacedock to remember how much he hated flying. Once they were on the Enterprise, McCoy hurried Kirk to med bay, narrowly avoiding the Vulcan from Jim’s hearing along the way.

“We need to get you changed,” McCoy commented to his somewhat-incoherent friend. He was risking enough just bringing the other man aboard – no need to make it worse by leaving him in his cadet reds – he’d stick out like a sore thumb.

“Hell, it’s that pointy eared bastard,” he grumbled while Jim moaned about feeling like he was leaking.

Once in med bay, he searched for a sedative to give Jim.

“Ack, I wish I didn’t know you,” the woozy cadet groaned as McCoy prepared the hypo.

“Don’t be such an infant,” he replied as he stuck another hypospray in Jim’s neck.

Jim passed out and after closing the privacy curtain around Jim’s bed, McCoy quickly changed into his medical blues. Afterward, he took stock of the med bay and its staff. The CMO, Dr. Puri, was on deck six, taking care of a helmsman who’d been diagnosed with lungworm and was too weak to leave his quarters. McCoy recognized one of the nurses in the med bay as a cadet he’d worked with in the clinic.

“Nurse Chapel,” he greeted the blond woman.

“Doctor McCoy! Nice to see a familiar face in here,” she replied. He’d always gotten along well with Chapel. She reminded him of Heston, his favorite nurse at the clinic.

“And who’s this?” she asked, nodding her head towards Jim’s enclosed medical bed.

“Don’t pay him any mind. It’s just Jim,” McCoy replied.

“Jim Kirk?” she asked in surprise. “I better prep all the STI meds.”

“His reputation spread that fast, huh?” McCoy pulled back the privacy curtains while giving the nurse a half smile and some kid with a strong Russian accent came on over a ship-wide broadcast to explain the mission ahead of them. McCoy, Chapel, and the rest of the staff remaining in med bay stopped to listen and watch. McCoy had a strange feeling he’d seen this baby-faced Russian somewhere before but he couldn’t remember where.

“…telemetry detected at an anomaly in the neutral zone. What appeared to be a lightning storm in space,” the Russian voice continued. “Soon after, Starfleet received a distress signal from Wulcan High Command that their planet was experiencing seismic actiwity…”

McCoy rolled his eyes. What the hell did that mean? Seismic activity? Were they dealing with a quake?

“…to assist with ewacuations if necessary. We should be arriving at Wulcan within three minutes. Thank you for your time.”

Kirk shot up in his bed.

“Lightning storm!” he yelled to no one in particular.

McCoy came over to his friend.

“Jim, you’re awake. How do you feel?” McCoy looked down at his roommate’s hands while Jim stuttered, clearly distracted.

“Good God, man!”

“What?” the newly awakened cadet asked. Then he looked at his hands and held them up. “Ah!!! What the hell’s this?!”

“Reaction to the vaccine,” McCoy responded, fishing through his med kit. “Dammit! Chapel, I need fifty cc’s of cortazone.”

“Yes, sir.” Chapel took off to find the needed medicine. Meanwhile, Kirk had moved to the monitor and was replaying the message they’d just listened to.

“We got to stop the ship,” he cried in a panic, and bolted out of the med bay. McCoy grabbed the hypo Chapel had prepared in one hand, and his med kit in another, and took off after his friend, who was frankly acting insane. McCoy speculated this was also a reaction to the vaccine. In any case, he needed to get a hold of that idiot before Jim did real damage to himself or someone else.

“Jim!” he hollered, running down the ship corridor after his roommate. “I’m not kidding, we need to keep your heart rate down.”

Jim stopped at a monitor. “Computer, locate crew member Uhura!”

“I haven’t seen a reaction this severe since med school,” McCoy grumbled as she waved his scanner over his friend.

“We’re flying into a trap,” Jim replied, still speaking jibberish.

“Dammit, Jim, stand still,” McCoy complained, as he shot Kirk in the neck with the cortazone.

“Ow! Stop it,” the other cadet replied. He took off running again, searching through the deck for something. He stopped when he came upon Nyota.

“Uhura, Uhura,” he called out to her.

“Kirk, what are you doing here?” she responded, nonplussed.

“The transmission from the Klingon planet you mentioned the other night. What exactly was – ”

“Oh my God, what’s wrong with your hands?” she interrupted. McCoy had caught up to the other two cadets and was scanning Jim again, trying to determine what else he could give the agitated man to calm him down. Jim continued to try conversing with Uhura but found it difficult to talk, while she stared at him in utter confusion. He turned to McCoy.

“What’s happening to my mouth?”

“You got numb tongue?”

“Numb tongue?” Kirk could barely get the words out.

“I can fix that!” McCoy ran for his kit to grab another hypospray.

“Was the ship what?” Uhura asked Kirk, trying to figure out what the fuck was happening.

“Rommmmlunnn,” Jim muttered, unable to get his mouth to cooperate with his racing mind.

“What?” Uhura could sense that Kirk was serious and she wanted to help him with whatever had gotten him so wound up. She’d never seen the lackadaisical cadet like this.

“Rommmuluuun,” he replied, trying his damnedest to enunciate.

“Romulan?” she asked, finally understanding. 

“Yeah,” the other cadet mumbled gratefully.

“Yes,” she wondered why that mattered. What was Kirk onto?

“Yes,” he repeated enthusiastically. Now they were getting somewhere. McCoy chose that moment to appear and jab another hypo in Jim’s neck.

“Ahh... dammit,” Kirk groaned. He didn’t have time for this shit. Instead, he took off in a sprint for the bridge, with McCoy and Uhura trailing him in bewilderment.


	50. Chapter 50

The board meeting ended up being the easiest part of Sabine’s day, which was saying something because that conference was no walk in the park. The questions thrown at her were expected but Sabine still struggled with her answers, not because she didn’t have them, but because her conscience was still bothered by what she could have – should have – done to save her patient. For an hour, she fielded their inquiries, her stomach in knots over the mistakes she’d made.

“Cadet Latour, what do you think you should have done differently?” The medical admiral peered over his PADD at her as he asked his question.

“Mmm, I should have tested him for an allergy to xyloxin.”

“And why didn’t you?” This time, another member of the board was asking.

“I made the error of relying solely on the word of the patient.”

“So you believe you also erred in trusting the patient to give you accurate information.”

“Yes.” She was certain she would walk out of the meeting without her medical license.

After a few more questions, she was ordered to leave the room while a decision was reached. The five minutes she spent in the hallway were the some of the longest minutes of her post-jump life. She considered her options if they did choose to suspend her – what would she do? Where would she end up in the Academy? The only thing that was keeping her from a complete panic attack was the fact that McCoy was in her corner. Whatever happened, he would be there for her. If she could just get through this meeting, she’d see him soon. They could make it through anything together.

She was called back into the room. As she sat there before nine board members, she steeled herself for bad news. Whatever she did, she would not cry. Not in front of these people.

“Cadet, while we find your behavior in this situation to be less than ideal, we have determined it would be in error to expel you from practicing medicine, even on a temporary basis,” the presiding member of the board told her. Sabine immediately felt the imaginary bands that had been constricting her lungs break. She could inhale without a hitch now. She’d be allowed to continue practicing.

“Your grades are the highest in your class and previous to this shift, you have exhibited excellent skills on your clinical rounds. We recommend you shadow doctors at the community hospital for several shifts in the coming weeks to gain further experience in handling emergency patients. We will provide you with contacts and time slots available for these extra shifts. You are dismissed.”

Sabine was pleasantly stunned. She hadn’t expected, after all the questions, to be let go with a metaphorical slap on the hand. McCoy had been right. When the meeting was over, she rushed to find a quiet hallway so she could comm Leo. He didn’t pick up and she realized he was probably already at the council assembly all the third and fourth year students had been required to attend.

She headed to class, deciding she would comm Leo after class. But then the bottom dropped out. Class was barely underway when an aide came in and asked all medical and nursing students to report to the campus clinic. A distress call had been received from Vulcan and the only ships that could respond in a reasonable amount of time were the ones at Earth’s spacedock, meaning that third and fourth year students would fill in for crewmen who could not make it back in time. First and second year medical students would man the clinic, ready to treat any injuries received in the mission. Engineering students would prep shuttles to retrieve the injured and dead or for any other purpose. Communications students would monitor ship feeds. The Academy would shift from a place of learning to an emergency ground crew for the mission. Events like this happened, maybe, once every 15 years. Some students were never asked to grow up this fast.

As she walked to the clinic, she tried to comm Leo again, hoping he would be able to sneak away from the assembly to take the comm. But he didn’t pick up. She hoped she would hear from him before he shipped off. Her stomach was in knots. What was happening on Vulcan? A distress call like this wasn’t some minor blip.

Leo commed her back within minutes. She was so relieved to hear his voice. He wasn’t sure where he’d end up but he promised to comm her when he knew. They hung up and Sabine reached the clinic, which was bustling with a controlled chaos. Sabine changed and headed to the floor. A few minutes later, Leo commed her to tell her he’d ended up on the Enterprise with Jim. That gave her some comfort. The Enterprise was the flagship of the fleet – just completed. It would have the best technology and resources available. And Leo would have Jim with him. She had so much she wanted to say to him but there was no time. She was called away from the comm to prep beds. Even if the mission ended up being as easy as Leo wanted her to believe it would be, the clinic would prepare for a worst-case scenario. After she prepped beds, Sabine grabbed tags. They would be ready to triage, if necessary, and the tags would help identify which patients to operate on immediately (red), which ones could wait (yellow), and which ones were beyond assistance (black). The clinic monitors were patched through to communications so they would have an idea of injuries before they began to arrive.

Everything was ready – now it would be a waiting game. The ships were expected to arrive at Vulcan within minutes. For the second time that day, Sabine felt like minutes were hours. She checked her PADD while she waited. Adjoa had sent her a message.

_Sabine, Shrax is on the Farragut. Keep an eye out. Let me know if anything happens. Bisous, Adjoa_

Shrax was a fourth-year student. In less than two months, he’d be graduating from the Academy.

When ships were in warp, individual crew members were prohibited from sending comms unless given special permission so all channels could be kept open for official Starfleet communications. The clinic was listening to the authorized transmissions as the ships came close to their destination. Everything seemed to be normal. But, as the ships dropped out of warp, one by one, communications ceased. It was clear from the frantic voices coming from the Regula I, Hood, Farragut and others that the ships had dropped into something far more sinister than anyone had imagined. Sabine blanched as she thought about Leo dropping into whatever horror the other ships were experiencing. But she didn’t have time to entertain those thoughts. The longest day of her life was just beginning.


	51. Chapter 51

Jim burst onto the bridge with McCoy and Uhura just behind him. McCoy swore if he made it out of this alive, he would strangle his roommate.

“Captain!” Jim cried, causing most of the bridge to turn and look at him in confusion and disbelief.

“Jim, no,” McCoy tried pleading desperately with his friend. _Please, God, don’t let this idiot ruin both our careers right now_ , he thought to himself. Leonard McCoy had never regretted any decision as much as he was regretting bringing Jim Kirk aboard this ship.

Of course, Jim ignored him. “Captain Pike, we have to stop the ship,” Jim said, advancing on the captain.

“Kirk, how the hell did you get on board the Enterprise,” Pike asked, unimpressed with the three out-of-breath cadets in front of him. McCoy decided to bite the bullet, hoping Jim would get the hint.

“Captain, this man's under the influence of a severe reaction of a Melvaran flea vaccine, completely – “

“Bones, Bones – “ Kirk attempted to interrupt him and McCoy began to wonder if maybe he shouldn’t attempt choking the other cadet right then and there.

“…delusional. I take full responsibility,” McCoy didn’t know why he was bothering trying to cover for the moron he’d “lucked” into living with for the past three years. If Jim wanted to hang himself, McCoy should just get out of the way and let it happen. He knew he couldn’t do that to his friend. But then the next sentence out of Kirk’s mouth made him wish he’d given his roommate a vaccine for Andorian shingles instead.

“Vulcan is not experiencing a natural disaster. It's being attacked by Romulans,” Kirk ignored all of McCoy’s attempts to smooth things over and now they’d both end up fired.

“Romulans? Cadet Kirk, I think you've had enough attention for one day. McCoy, take him back to medical; we'll have words later,” Pike’s tone was form and final. McCoy watched his attempt at a second career vanish before his eyes.

“Aye Captain,” he replied, trying to grab Jim’s arm. But Jim wriggled away from him. By God, the man had a death wish.

“Look, sir, that same anomaly –” Jim started again, acting as though Pike hadn’t just ordered him off the bridge.

“Mister Kirk…,” Pike sighed, annoyed that the young cadet he’d taken a chance on three years ago was turning out to be such a disaster.

Commander Spock added his own thoughts to the conversation. “Mister Kirk is not cleared to be aboard this vessel.”

“Look, I get it, you're a great orator. I'd love to do it again with you too,” Kirk sassed the Vulcan first officer.

“I can remove the Cadet,” Spock offered, unable to feel smug satisfaction at the idea of getting rid of the obnoxious cadet since emotions like that weren’t things Vulcans allowed themselves to acknowledge.

“Try it! This Cadet is trying to save the bridge,” Kirk wasn’t backing down. McCoy wanted a hole in the floor to open up and swallow at least himself and possibly Kirk too so this nightmare would end.

“By recommending a full stop mid-warp during a rescue mission?” Spock’s tone conveyed his irritation with the troublesome cadet.

“It's not a rescue mission, listen, it's an attack,” now Kirk and Spock had the attention of the entire bridge, Captain Pike included.

“Based on what facts?” Spock was intrigued.

“That same anomaly, a lightning storm in space that we saw today, also occurred on the day of my birth. Before a Romulan ship attacked the USS Kelvin,” Jim turned to Captain Pike. “You know that, sir, I read your dissertation. That ship which had formidable and advanced weaponry was never seen or heard from again. The Kelvin attack took place on the edge of Klingon space and at twenty-three hundred hours last night, there was an attack. Forty-seven Klingon warbirds destroyed by Romulans, sir. It was reported that the Romulans were in one ship, one massive ship.”

Everyone sat listening, dumbfounded, to the cadet and Pike stared at Kirk with new interest.

“And you know of this Klingon attack how?” He asked Jim.

Uhura interjected. “Sir, I intercepted and translated the message myself. Kirk's report is accurate.” She never thought she’d find herself defending Jim Kirk. What was the world coming to?

Jim addressed the captain once more. “We're warping into a trap, sir. The Romulans are waiting for us, I promise you that.” He had never cared more about proving the truth of what he was saying. This wasn’t some exercise at the Academy. This was real.

Jim found a surprising ally. “The Cadet's logic is sound. And Lieutenant Uhura is unmatched in xenolinguistics, we would be wise to accept her conclusion,” Cammander Spock said to Captain Pike.

Pike looked over to the communications lieutenant. “Scan Vulcan space, check for any transmissions in Romulan.”

The lieutenant looked at him haplessly. “Sir, I'm not sure I can distinguish the Romulan language from Vulcan.”

Pike looked at Uhura. “What about you? Do you speak Romulan, Cadet?”

“Uhura, sir. All three dialects, sir,” she was ready for this. Her whole life had built up to this moment.

“Uhura, relieve the lieutenant,” Pike said quickly.

“Yes sir,” she would celebrate being assigned to the bridge later. They had work to do now.

“Hannity, hail the USS Truman,” Pike snapped to the other communications crew member.

Hannity replied with no small amount of confusion. “All the other ships are out of warp, sir, and have arrived at Vulcan, but we seemed to have lost all contact.”

Uhura had begun scanning for transmissions and felt not only the confusion of her fellow communications team member, but a mounting sense of dread. “Sir, I pick up no Romulan transmission, or transmission of any kind in the area.”

“It's because they're being attacked,” Jim spoke matter-of-factly but his insides were in knots. He knew where this was heading.

Captain Pike apparently knew as well. “Shields up, red alert,” he commanded the bridge.

“Arrival in Vulcan in five seconds... four... three... two...,” Helmsman Sulu counted down, still hoping the brash Kirk would be wrong but doubting it.

The Enterprise dropped out of warp and arrived into a huge space battle. As the ship navigated debris, those looking out from the bridge were horrified to realize they were dodging remnants of their sister ships.

Captain Pike brought them young crew back to their tasks. “Emergency evasive,” he called out.

“Running sir,” an officer replied.

The other bridge officers began their reporting.

“Damage report,” Pike commanded.

“Deflector shields are holding,” one of the engineering officers responded.

“All stations. Engineer Olson, report,” Pike barked into the shipwide channel.

“Full reverse, come about starboard ninety degrees, drop us underneath and…,” Even a seasoned Starfleet veteran like Captain Christopher Pike couldn’t help but be amazed at the sheer size of the Romulan ship they were facing.

“Captain, they're locking torpedoes,” Spock stated, bringing the bridge out of its stunned silence.

“Avert auxiliary power from port nacelles to forward shields,” Pike shouted.

As torpedoes slammed into the Enterprise, McCoy left the bridge. There would be injuries, possibly casualties, and his duty was to be in med bay right now.

After the first round of volleys, Pike took stock. “Sulu, status report.”

Lieutenant Sulu replied quickly. “Shields at thirty-two percent. Their weapons are powerful, sir. We can't take another hit like that.”

“Get me Starfleet Command,” Pike charged the communications team.

Commander Spock spoke up before the communications team could deliver the bad news. “Captain, the Romulan ship has lowered some kind of high-energy pulse device into the Vulcan atmosphere. Its signal appears to be blocking our communications and transporter abilities.”

Pike considered his options, limited as they were. “All power to forward shields. Prepare to fire all weapons.”

“Captain, we're being hailed,” Uhura replied. Pike nodded to her and she patched the frequency through to the viewscreen.

“Hello,” The Romulan on the other side stated, in an oddly cheery tone.

“I'm Captain Christopher Pike. To whom am I speaking?” Pike was in no mood for banter with the man who was clearly responsible for the destruction of at least four other Federation starships. Who knew how many lives had been lost?

“Hi Christopher, I'm Nero.” Now the psychopath had a name.

“You've declared war against the Federation,” Pike responded, again ignoring any pleasantries. “Withdraw. I'll agree to arrange a conference with Romulan leadership at a neutral location.”

Nero maintained his eerie calm, “I do not speak for the Empire. We stand apart, as does your Vulcan crewmember, isn't that right, Spock?” Everyone on the bridge turned to look at the Vulcan first officer. How did this man know who he was?

“Pardon me, I do not believe that you and I are acquainted?” Spock remained aloof.

“No, we're not. Not yet,” Nero replied. “Spock, there's something I would like you to see. Captain Pike, your transporter has been disabled. As you can see by the rest of your armada, you have no choice. You will man a shuttle and come aboard the Narada, for negotiations. That is all.”

At that, Nero ended the communications and the viewscreen turned off. Pike got up.

“He'll kill you, you know that,” Jim cautioned the captain.

Again, Spock found himself in the uncomfortable position of agreeing with the loose-cannon cadet. “Your survival is unlikely.”

Kirk persisted. “Captain, we gain nothing by diplomacy. Going over to that ship is a mistake.”

“I, too, agree. You should re-think your strategy,” Spock seconded.

“I understand that. I need officers who have been trained in advanced hand-to-hand combat.” Pike had a plan and for it to work, he had no choice but to go over to the other ship.

“I have training, sir,” Sulu volunteered.

“Come with me. Kirk, you too. You're not supposed to be here anyway. Chekov, you have the conn,” Pike directed, moving quickly.

“Aye aye, Keptin,” the young Russian agreed.

Captain Pike outlined his plan to Spock, Kirk, and Sulu on the way to the shuttle where Ensign Olson from engineering met them. Spock reluctantly returned to the bridge as acting captain and took the Captain's chair.

His first order of business was assessing the damage to the various departments within the ship. He began with medical. “Doctor Puri, report.”

Instead of the somewhat high-pitched voice of the elderly doctor, Spock instead heard a southern accent through the comm. “It's McCoy. Doctor Puri was on deck six. He's dead.” The doctor certainly didn’t mince words.

“Then you have just inherited his responsibility as Chief Medical Officer,” Spock replied.

“Yeah, tell me something I don't know,” the doctor grumbled, cutting off the communication.

Med bay was in chaos. They were trying to tend to their own injured and dead while also seeking out any injured who may have survived the destruction of the other ships. McCoy had tried to comm Sabine to let her know the Enterprise had survived, at least for the time being. He knew she’d already be aware of the state of the other ships and she’d no doubt be worried about him. But no comms were going through. He sighed and turned to the mess in front of him. They’d lost their CMO and head nurse. He’d appoint Chapel as interim head nurse because, as the new CMO, that was his job. And another part of his job was figuring out the best system of triage for what they were facing. He partnered with the transporter room only to find there was no transport capability currently. They were stuck. Every person they brought on board would need to stay there until they got the transporters working once more. McCoy requisitioned all empty quarters for med bay use. He was so engrossed in getting everyone situated, he didn’t have time to worry about their fate.


	52. Chapter 52

There was a protocol to follow for reclaiming those who died or were grievously injured in space. Early in the Federation’s existence, agreements had been made among Federation planets, and with those outside the Federation, that permitted medical teams to retrieve any bodies or casualties they could find in space, so that beings could receive whatever last rites their cultures dictated. Even Klingons, Romulans, and other adversaries of the Federation had followed such agreements because it served them well – they were able to burn or bury the bodies of their dead after an engagement without worrying about Federation members killing their medical teams as they reclaimed bodies.

At least, that’s how things had gone before now. But these Romulans were not following any kind of agreement – medical or otherwise. Any ship that hadn’t been completely decimated attempted to send out their medical shuttles for retrieval of injured and dead, only to see the shuttles blown up and then suffer a similar fate themselves. By the time the Enterprise entered the fray, only a third of the shuttles had survived and almost all of those had touched down on Vulcan. They were finding it impossible to beam their wounded and dying back to Earth or anywhere else. Unbeknownst to anyone on the Federation side of the battle, Nero had only allowed those shuttles to survive because he knew Vulcan itself would be destroyed soon.

A handful of the shuttles filled with injured and dead had made it to the Enterprise. Three of them had made it beyond Vulcan space but they needed assistance. While they could communicate with Starfleet in San Francisco, there was no one to come help them. Sabine and the other doctors, as well as the nursing staff, listened on in horror as communications were shared over the official channels. No one could contact the ships that had dropped out of warp but from what those on the shuttles were saying, it didn’t matter. The entire fleet sent to Vulcan had been destroyed, save perhaps for the Enterprise, which had been delayed for unknown reasons. Since no one could contact the Enterprise, there was no way of knowing whether it had survived the carnage.

Sabine looked at the tags she had so carefully organized. In the very worst scenario she’d imagined, they would perhaps run out of black tags. But this was even worse. In this case, there would be no bodies, no wounded – the tags were unnecessary. The shuttles hiding just beyond Vulcan airspace shared the stories of watching other medical shuttles be destroyed – of a massive Romulan ship unlike any they’d ever seen coming around again and again to fire on Starfleet vessels, with no communication – no explanation as to why. And what was the massive ship doing near Vulcan? How was it interfering with Vulcan’s environment? Why were communications within the area jammed? So many questions and no answers. The last thing Sabine could do was let herself think of McCoy. Instead, she listened as engineering professors and the remaining students on campus conferred over official channels to determine how they could bring back the three shuttles that had escaped the massacre happening in Vulcan’s airspace.

An hour after the ships had departed for Vulcan, the three shuttles had rendezvoused with a commercial carrier Starfleet had briefly requisitioned to assist with transporting the injured and dead back to Earth. Shortly thereafter, the ship came within transporter range and the clinic was suddenly filled with the dead and dying. Each shuttle had anywhere from twenty to fifty casualties aboard. The clinic was stretched to its limits and some were sent directly to the closest hospital. Sadly, many were dead before they arrived. Sabine and the other doctors were there to complete the identification and paperwork attached to each deceased being. Perhaps it was shock, but Sabine found herself momentarily fascinated by the fact that they still referred to it as paperwork when everything they did now was done via PADD. Why did the term ‘paperwork’ stick around? Who used paper for anything official anymore?

Of those who were alive, many were in critical condition. There were maybe five people in the clinic who could coherently speak to what they had seen and experienced upon arriving at Vulcan. What they shared sent a chill through Sabine and the other medical cadets. When she had a free minute, Sabine commed Adjoa, wondering what the other woman already knew about the Vulcan mission. Her friend picked up immediately.

“Il est la?” Adjoa asked, not bothering with any formalities or greetings.

“No. I have not seen Shrax. But we have only received 150 casualties at most. And some of those went directly to San Francisco General.”

“C’est horrible, n’est ce pas?”

“Yes. It is very bad…I do not know if we will recover many more casualties until we can contact Vulcan.”

“Contact Vulcan? Have you not heard?”

“Heard what?”

“Sabine…Vulcan est détruite.”

“What?” The medical cadet fell into a chair, stunned.

“The Romulan ship – it used some sort of anti-matter to destroy Vulcan. How have you not heard about this?”

“I have been busy. We have not been monitoring communications – they were cut off –”

“No, they are back. But there is nothing to communicate with, besides the Enterprise.”

“The Enterprise is okay?”

“Yes. They were spared for unknown reasons.”

At that moment, Sabine was paged to the floor and had to end the comm. Communication had been established with the Enterprise but no one would be transported off the ship until it got close enough to Earth and at the moment, the ship was headed to the Laurentian system to meet up with the rest of the fleet. But in the meantime, the ship was transferring as many records for the dead they had recovered so that the paperwork could be handled for them. Sabine could hear McCoy over the communication channel and was momentarily confused – only the CMO was supposed to use the channel to share this kind of information. But then she received the file for Dr. Puri and it all made sense. Leo was the CMO now. She wished she could communicate with him. Hearing his voice was soothing to her frazzled nerves and she sent a quick PADD message to him, hoping he would get it at some point.

_Hello Leo. While I am so sorry to hear about Dr. Puri, I cannot think of a better person to fill his shoes. Stay safe and hurry home. All my love!_


	53. Chapter 53

Cass felt the pinch which meant her sister wanted to talk and she headed back to her dorm, despite knowing that Section 31 would expect her to show up to her office immediately because classes had been canceled. She’d figure out an excuse later. Aubrey would have more information on what was really happening anyway. Cass stripped her clothes off and jumped in the sonic shower. She reached out to her sister.

What’s up?

_Bad news. Like the worst. Time to get the plan in motion._

Wait, really?

_Would I fuck around with you about this? Don’t answer that. But yeah, I’m serious._

I don’t understand. 

_You want to waste time with explanations? Marcus has found the perfect excuse to kick his plan into action. This attack on Vulcan is what he’s been waiting for–_

What attack on Vulcan? All I know is Vulcan reached out to Starfleet because of an environmental anomaly.

_Man, they don’t tell you guys shit, do they? Listen up, and no questions. We don’t have a lot of time on our side._

Aubrey outlined everything she’d discovered in the last hour or so. How a Klingon armada had been destroyed after several Romulans broke out of a Klingon prison planet and reclaimed the ship that had been taken away from them 23 years earlier. How those same Romulans had used Starfleet-issued weapons to break out – weapons Aubrey firmly believed had been provided by Admiral Marcus so that he could finally have the war, and the excuse, he’d been looking for to initiate the plan Aubrey had shared with Cass just a couple of months ago. It was time for the Resurrection IV crew to get away. And Cass as well. Her heart sank as she realized the full implications of what Aubrey was telling her.

Oh my God. I didn’t really think it would come to this.

_Well, it has. Get your friends in place and let’s make this happen. Unless you want them used as mindless weapons…._

You know I don’t. I’ll get everything arranged. 

The sisters ended their connection and Cass sank to the floor of the shower in tears. As hard as she liked to pretend she was, situations like this proved to her she wasn’t a badass at all. She was scared – for herself, for her friends, for all the lives lost – all the people she knew who had been sent into a slaughter. Her uncle was out there. Was he still alive? She’d never hated anyone as much as she hated Admiral Marcus right then. She shook as she realized her entire life had been used in the service of such vile people and purposes. She would never be able to make up for whatever role she had played in allowing someone like Marcus enact his horrible ideas. After she calmed down, Cass took a few moments to gather her thoughts. She needed to contact the rest of them…but she couldn’t risk reaching out – who knew where they all were and who they’d be around right now? She’d start by visiting the clinic. Sabine was guaranteed to be there. Once she told Sabine, she could rely on the other telepath to help her reach everyone else. They only had 48 hours, at most, to get everyone to the designated pick-up locations. Her stomach was in knots. She dressed quickly and ran to the clinic, which was predictably in chaos. Cass’s PADD kept pinging with more alerts as news slowly trickled in about what was happening near Vulcan. By the time she got to the clinic, she knew Vulcan had been destroyed and the Enterprise was the only ship that had survived the Romulan attack. She also knew her uncle had been taken prisoner by the Romulans. What she didn’t know was whether Uncle Chris was still alive or that Jim was on the ship.

“I need to see Doctor Latour,” Cass demanded of the frazzled nursing cadet at the front desk. She used her abilities to manipulate the poor girl’s mind into thinking Cass was an admiral – someone important enough to be shown into the clinic without any proof of ID. Normally, she would feel bad about such blatant misuse of her powers but this day was no longer normal. The cadet led her to the back room and told her to sit while Doctor Latour was found.

Sabine hurried into the break room then frowned once she saw Cass sitting there.

“You called me away from surgery! This had better be impor –” She stopped when she saw the look on Cass’s face.

“I’m so sorry,” the handler said sadly.

“No. This cannot happen right now. I have people I need to tend to…and last night…” Sabine sat down next to Cass and removed her glove, touching the other telepath’s arm softly.

Cass, I told Leo almost everything last night. I cannot leave now.

_I wish it didn’t have to be like this but you know what they’ll do to you if you stay. I would do anything to make this go away but I can’t. This was the plan. We have to see it through if we want to be safe._

Sabine sat next to Cass, stunned.

_We need to find Jim too. I can take care of him. I don’t know what we’ll do about Bones. Who knows how long he’ll be out there?_

I am not leaving without talking to Leo. I will not do it.

_Then you better hope he makes it back in the next 48 hours._

Jim is with him, you know.

_He is? I thought he was grounded._

Leo told me Jim was with him on the Enterprise.

Cass cursed aloud.

_We can’t afford to wait for their return. We don’t know when they’ll come back._

She refrained from adding the unspoken “if they return.” Through their connection, she could feel Sabine’s devastation. She tried to send comfort to the other telepath but she didn’t feel anything remotely close to comfort herself. The two women could feel one another’s fear and sadness.

_You know this is the right thing to do. Even at your most powerful, they will be able to control you if they want – you may not even be augmented, after all. You can’t protect the other non-augments and even the ones who are augmented are no match for the pure Augments._

I know. I just….dammit, Cass. I cannot leave him. 

_It may not be permanent._

The other telepath cut a look at Cass.

_I’m serious. There’s always a chance Marcus’s plan will go horribly wrong._

And if it does? Will they not just find another, perhaps worse plan? We will never be safe – none of us. I should have left Leo months ago.

_No. You love him – he loves you. Somehow, we’ll find a way to make this work._

How?

_I don’t know._

Both girls sat in silence, feeling defeated. They might save themselves, but did it matter if they had to give up everything and everyone they loved?

I have to get back to work. There are people here dying. 

_I know. I’ll go find the others._

I can help you when I get off shift.

_Thank you. Sabine, I’m so sorry. I wish I could show you how much._

I can feel it.

But just because she could feel her handler’s sorrow and regret, it didn’t mean Sabine wasn’t angry and filled with her own despair. She knew it wasn’t Cass’s fault – the other woman wanted to do all she could to help. But that did little to mitigate the misery Sabine was feeling. But she also felt how upset Cass was about her uncle.

They will bring him back, Cass. If he is alive, they will not leave him on that ship. And Leo will take care of him – he could not be in better hands.

_I know. Thank you. All of this sucks. Part of me just wants to murder Admiral Marcus._

You know that will not end this.

_Yeah, but it’d sure make me feel better._

Cass gave the other telepath a small smile and the women hugged before hurrying back to their respective responsibilities. Cass said a small prayer on her way to Section 31 headquarters that she wouldn’t run into Marcus. If she did, she could not be held accountable for what she might say or do.


	54. Chapter 54

As acting CMO, McCoy had been called to the bridge to confer with the other senior officers on what the next step for the Enterprise was now that they had regained control of their transporter and communications abilities. Vulcan had been destroyed, despite the success Sulu and Jim had in severing the drill connection to the planet’s surface. Before leaving for the bridge, McCoy had received Sabine’s PADD message and sent her one of his own.

_I’m sure you know how bad it went out here. We’re safe for now – Jim, me, most of the crew. I can’t wait to get back and see you again, darling. Keep me in your thoughts till then – you’re in mine._

He refused to let himself think of any alternative besides a successful return to the Academy and a reunion with the woman he loved. It was one of the only things keeping him sane right now. God knows the discussion on the bridge was doing nothing to help him.

Acting Captain Spock turned to Uhura.

“Have you confirmed that Nero is headed for Earth?” he asked the communications officer.

“Their trajectory suggests no other destination, Captain.”

“Thank you, Lieutenant.”

Something about their exchange gave McCoy pause, but he couldn’t determine what. It didn’t matter. He had enough to worry about without trying to figure out every interaction on the ship. He was just a surgeon, and thankfully not everyone’s shrink.

Jim spoke up from where he was comfortably lounging in the captain’s chair.

“Earth may be his next stop, but we have to assume every Federation planet’s a target.”

“Out of the chair,” Spock responded, shooing the other man away. McCoy would never understand how Jim had conned his way into being on the bridge rather than the brig. Some people had all the luck.

“Well, if the Federation is a target, why didn’t they destroy us?” The young Russian from the earlier announcement piped up.

“Why would they? Why waste the weapons? We obviously weren’t a threat,” Sulu responded.

“That is not it. He said he wanted me to see something. The destruction of my home planet.” Spock’s cold way of describing what had occurred to Vulcan bothered McCoy. Surely the man was upset inside. He’d just lost his planet and his mother. But rather than bring that up, McCoy asked another question that had been bothering him.

“How the hell did they do that, by the way? Where did the Romulans get that kind of weaponry?”

“The engineering comprehension necessary to artificially create a black hole may suggest an answer. Such technology could theoretically be manipulated to create a tunnel through space-time.”

McCoy couldn’t believe his ears. For the second time in as many days, he was talking to someone about time travel. When did everyone start time-traveling? What were the chances? But he wanted clarification.

“Dammit man, I’m a doctor, not a physicist. Are you actually suggesting they’re from the future?”

“If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

A simple yes or no would have sufficed. Was every telepath just genetically incapable of simple answers? At least Sabine had a reason for her evasive answers. This asshole was just wasting time and breath.

“How poetic,” McCoy snorted.

Jim brought the conversation back to his own interests. He didn’t care where or when their adversaries came from – he wanted to figure out how to get Captain Pike back safely and defeat Nero.

“What would an angry, future Romulan want with Captain Pike?” he asked.

“As Captain, he does know details of Starfleet’s defenses,” Sulu responded.

“What we need to do is catch up to that ship,” Jim said determinedly. “Disable it, take it over, and get Pike back.”

“We are technologically outmatched in every way,” Captain Spock replied. “A rescue attempt would be illogical.”

The young Russian joined the conversation once more. “Nero’s ship would have to drop out of warp for us for us to overtake him.”

“Then what about assigning engineering crews to try and boost our warp gear?” Jim was tired of every answer leading to no. They didn’t have time for all of this. Unfortunately he needed Captain Spock to side with him.

“Remaining power and crew are being used to repair radiation leaks on the lower decks –”

Jim interrupted the Vulcan.

“Okay, alright. There must be some way –”

“– we must gather with the rest of Starfleet to balance the terms of the next engagement.”

“There won’t be a next engagement! By the time we’ve gathered, it’ll be too late. You say he’s from the future, knows what’s going to happen. Then the logical thing is to be unpredictable.” Jim’s frustration was bubbling over now. McCoy watched with apprehension as his roommate and the captain squared off.

“You are assuming that Nero knows how events are predicted to unfold. On the contrary, Nero’s very presence has altered the flow of history, beginning with the attack on the USS Kelvin, culminating in the events of today, thereby creating an entirely new chain of events that cannot be anticipated by either party.”

Everyone took a moment to think about what Spock had just said.

“An alternate reality?” Uhura asked.

“Precisely. Whatever our lives might have been, if the time continuum was disrupted, our destinies have changed…”

Spock kept talking but McCoy stopped listening, thinking instead of Sabine and how her destiny had crossed his because of a similar disruption in the space-time continuum. He was pulled back to the conversation by the desperation in Jim’s voice.

“Spock, don’t do that. Running back to the rest of the fleet for a…a confab is a massive waste of time –”

“– orders issued by Captain Pike when he left.” Spock finished.

“He also ordered us to go back and get him,” Jim retorted with no small amount of defiance. “Spock, you are the captain now. You have to be –”

“I am aware of my responsibilities, Mister Ki –”

“Every second we waste, Nero’s getting closer to his next target!” Jim was yelling now.

“That is correct and why I am instructing you to accept the fact that I alone –”

“I will not allow us to go backwards –” Jim’s eyes were flashing and McCoy was alarmed. The brash idiot was going to get himself in trouble and there was no Pike to bail him out this time.

“Jim!” the doctor admonished his roommate.

“– instead of hunting Nero down!” Jim glared at all of them as though they all shared blame with Spock.

“Security. Escort him out,” Spock said coolly. McCoy was relieved Jim wasn’t getting a heavier reprimand, considering how poorly his relationship with Captain Spock had started out. But, of course, this was Jim Kirk. No sooner had the officers shown up at his side then he began to fight them off.

“No, Jim!” McCoy yelled at his friend. Spock intervened and used a nerve pinch to subdue Jim. He looked at the security guards.

“Get him off this ship,” he said with obvious irritation. McCoy winced. Jim had driven an emotionless Vulcan to kick him off the ship. Because of course he had.

Once Kirk had been dropped off on some nearby planet via escape pod, McCoy was once again called to the bridge. He rolled his eyes in annoyance as he made his way to the turbolift. Now what? Would they have another thirty-minute conversation about the logical action to take? He didn’t care, as long as it got him closer to the end of this mission.

“You wanted to see me?” he asked Spock upon entering the bridge.

“Yes, Doctor. I am aware that James Kirk is a friend of yours,” only this guy could make being friends with someone sound like a crime, “I recognize that supporting me as you did must have been difficult.”

“Is that a thank you?” McCoy had a hard time believing anything this emotionless robot said was sincere.

“I am simply acknowledging your difficulties,” the Vulcan responded. McCoy rolled his eyes as the two men walked the bridge.

“Permission to speak freely, sir.” McCoy wasn’t going to allow the opportunity to tell Spock what a colossal mistake he’d made to pass him up.

“I welcome it,” Spock responded, without much trace of welcoming in his voice.

“Do you? Okay then. Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Are you making the logical choice, sending Kirk away? Probably. But the right one? You know, back home, we got a saying: If you’re gonna ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don’t leave your prize stallion in the stable.”

Spock didn’t miss a beat in replying.

“A curious metaphor, Doctor, as a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its potential.”

“My God, man,” McCoy retorted, his anger rising. “You could at least act like it was a hard decision.”

“I intend to assist in the effort to reconnect with Starfleet. However, if crew morale is better served by my roaming the halls weeping, I will gladly defer to your medical expertise. Excuse me.”

Spock left McCoy to speak to a Vulcan who had just stepped onto the bridge. McCoy stared after him then turned on his heel.

“Green-blooded hobgoblin,” he muttered as he left the bridge to return to med bay.

McCoy wondered if he should have done more when Jim was kicked off the bridge. They were best friends, after all. But from the beginning, he’d told Jim he didn’t care what the other man did, as long as it never put his career in jeopardy. McCoy had made it clear time and again that this was his last chance – he had nowhere else to go if Starfleet didn’t work out for him. And, despite his antics on campus, Jim had been true to his word – sure, they’d been in a few bar-room brawls together, and on occasion, McCoy had been brought in for questioning regarding some prank Jim had instigated, but his own place at the Academy had never been threatened. This was different though. They were on a ship now and Jim couldn’t go around acting like the big man on campus – he wasn’t anymore. They were the low men on the totem pole and McCoy had had just about enough of Jim’s shtick between rushing onto the bridge to talk to Captain Pike and now getting himself kicked off the Enterprise. Granted, that first outburst had been warranted but there was no reason to fight security. And as much as McCoy liked the younger man, he wasn’t risking his place on the ship in a losing battle against that walking computer of a Vulcan. Still, McCoy felt guilty that Jim was on some abandoned planet now. He’d looked after Jim from the first day their shuttle landed at the Academy and he felt, in some way, that he’d failed his friend. But his feelings would have to wait because there was a pile of PADD files waiting on his office desk. He needed to ID them and send them back to the Academy so families and friends could be notified about their losses. This was, by far, the hardest part of any doctor’s job.


	55. Chapter 55

Sabine stared at the message on her PADD, tears dangerously close to spilling from her eyes. The Enterprise had been sending files for deceased crewmen from all the destroyed starships to the clinic at Starfleet Academy for the past few hours. They only sent records of bodies that had been recovered – if a shuttle hadn’t been able to retrieve the body, the being was considered missing in action until further notice. So the name she was staring at, the file she’d been assigned, was proof positive of death. There would be a body…or a remnant of a body – enough to consider the being dead. And she would have to process the paperwork. She also needed to find a moment to call Adjoa. The paperwork on her screen was for Shrax. He was gone. Leo had sent a small message along with the file.

_I’m so sorry, love._

She knew Leo was dealing with his own issues – doubtless, he was seeing plenty of names he recognized and perhaps even having to ID countless of his own friends and acquaintances. And she knew he’d sent the file to her directly because she would be the best person to handle communicating with Adjoa and his family. But her heart ached as she contemplated the conversation that lay before her. Worse yet, she didn’t have the luxury of time to gather her thoughts and make sure Adjoa would be okay. She had at least 20 other deceased persons’ files to go through and after that, she needed to help Cass reach out to everyone else on the crew and alert them that the escape plan was now a reality. In fact, having to tell Adjoa about Shrax was, in a brutal sense, efficient because now she had a reason to tell Adjoa it was time to go. But that was cold comfort.

She picked up her communicator; it had never felt so heavy in her hands as it did right then. She didn’t want to do this.

“Oui? C’est porquoi?” Adjoa picked up instantly and Sabine could hear the mix of tension and hope in her voice.

“I am so sorry –”

“Non. Non, non, non!” Sabine began to cry in earnest as she heard the wails of her friend through the comm.

“Ça doit être une erreur,” Adjoa cried frantically.

“I wish it were,” Sabine’s voice caught on the words and she couldn’t hide her own sobs from her friend.

“How?”

“I do not know. I just know his body was recovered.”

The two friends sat in sad and stunned silence, the only sounds being an occasional sniffle from either woman.

“I can come over after my shift,” Sabine offered. “It will be another four hours.”

“Do you have a break soon?”

“Mmm….in 45 minutes.”

“May we meet then?”

“Of course,” All Sabine wanted was to hang up the phone, run over to Adjoa’s dorm room, and spend the next few hours with her friend in quiet mourning.

“I will come to you,” Adjoa said with a shaky voice and firm resolve.

“Okay.”

The girls spoke for a few minutes longer and then said their goodbyes. Sabine would wait till they were face-to-face to tell Adjoa about her conversation with Cass. While working through more files, she made another decision – one she knew would upset Cass. Adjoa was waiting for her at the front desk when the time for her break rolled around. Even though she had spent the better part of a day surrounded by death, and then having to communicate those deaths with next-of-kin, nothing prepared her for the look on her best friend’s face. When she saw Adjoa sitting in the lobby, misery radiating from every pore, Sabine began crying anew.

“Do not cry,” her friend attempted to tease her through her own tears. “I am here so I can cry and you can comfort me.”

“I know. I am lousy at this,” Sabine gave Adjoa a weak smile.

The two women walked back towards the break room. Luckily, they were alone. It had been a hard day for everyone and many medical and nursing cadets had chosen to leave the clinic for their breaks. In a bit of irony Sabine found particularly cruel, the weather was perfect – it was an idyllic spring day.

Sabine and Adjoa grabbed seats next to one another at one of the tables in the break room and Sabine took a good look at her friend.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Of course. Someday,” Adjoa gave Sabine her own feeble grin through her tears.

“I am here for you however you need me.”

“I need peace,” Adjoa asked and Sabine obliged by removing her glove and resting her hand on the other woman’s arm. Through their connection, she fed Adjoa love and as much comfort as she could muster within herself.

“There is more,” Sabine said cautiously. Adjoa looked at her warily. “I talked to Cass today. She came by here.”

Adjoa knew without Sabine having to say more exactly what Cass had come by to discuss.

“Really? Now?”

“Within 48 hours – 72 hours maximum. But I have decided something. Wherever you go, I go too.” Adjoa looked at her friend gratefully.

“Cass will never allow that,” she replied, touched that Sabine was willing to offer it.

“I do not care. Cass is not our boss. You and I – we will stick together for now. My mind is made up.” 

“Merci, mon amie.”

“Je vous en prie. I would never leave you alone to deal with this. And I will need your strength to help me get over Leo,” Sabine felt herself getting choked up again.

“We will help one another get through these trials,” Adjoa said softly, fresh tears still falling from her eyes.

They fell silent as the women contemplated what their lives would look like without their respective lovers.

“I will need to get back to work,” Sabine said sadly after another few minutes.

“You are stronger than I could ever be,” Adjoa observed. “I could never make those calls to all the families.”

“It is the worst part of my job,” Sabine noted.

“Would you like me to help spread the message to the other crew mates?” Adjoa needed something to keep her mind off her grief.

“If you want, I will not say no. After work, I will come find you and the others,” Sabine replied. The two friends hugged fiercely and lingered in their embrace, neither looking forward to separating and facing their next tasks.

“We will get through this,” Sabine whispered to Adjoa.

“Yes, together,” the other woman replied, also whispering.


	56. Chapter 56

McCoy was having a hard time believing his eyes. Somehow Jim had gotten back on the ship. He’d brought some Scottish guy with him and he’d managed to pick a fight with Captain Spock, leading the Vulcan to declare himself unfit for duty.

“Well, congratulations, Jim,” he grumbled to his roommate. “Now we’ve got no captain and no goddamn first officer to replace him.”

“Yeah we do,” Kirk replied adamantly, taking the captain’s chair.

“What?” McCoy was concerned. Was Jim starting a mutiny?

“Pike made him first officer,” Sulu informed McCoy.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he replied.

“Thanks for the support,” Jim grimaced. McCoy didn’t care. Who the hell picked a fight with the captain just to be made captain? What the hell was wrong with these command types? At least McCoy now knew why Jim had been on the bridge earlier.

“I sure hope you know what you’re doing, _Captain_ ,” Uhura spat at Jim. That took McCoy back a bit. Granted, they were all frustrated at Jim’s antics, but Uhura had been positively venomous. Again, McCoy wondered what the exact nature of her relationship to their Vulcan crewmate was. But there was no time for that. Right now, the senior officers on the bridge needed to come up with a plan. Jim was clearly not going to regroup with the fleet – he’d announced as much over the ship’s comm just now. But if they were to face Nero, how could they do it with any chance of success? The young Russian – Chekov was his name – began running calculations on a clear board while McCoy, Sulu, Jim, and Uhura debated their options. Several ideas were thrown out.

“Whatever the case, we need to get aboard Nero’s ship undetected,” Kirk insisted as they discussed the positives and negatives of each plan.

“And just go in there guns blazing? Jim, no…,” McCoy would forever be keeping the younger man from killing himself, captain or not.

“I’m telling you, the math doesn’t support –” Sulu was interrupted by Chekov’s excited exclamations.

“Keptin Kork, Keptin Kork!”

“Yes, Chekov, what is it?”

“Based on the fastest course from Wulcan, I have projected that Nero will travel past Saturn. Like you said, we need to stay inwisible to Nero or he’ll destroy us. If Mister Scott can get us to warp factor four, and if we drop out of warp behind one of Saturn’s moons – say, Titan – the magnetic distortion from the planet’s rings will make us inwisible to Nero’s sensors. From there, as long as the drill is not actiwated, we can beam aboard the enemy ship.”

“Aye, that might work,” the new engineer, Scotty, replied.

“Wait a minute, kid,” McCoy interjected. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen, sir,” the Russian replied proudly.

“Oh…oh good,” McCoy glared at Jim as though Chekov’s youth was somehow his fault. “He’s seventeen!” Numerous space-related methods of death flashed before McCoy’s eyes.

“Doctor, Mister Chekov is correct.” Everyone turned to the familiar voice back on the bridge. There was Commander Spock once more. “I can confirm his telemetry. If Mister Sulu is able to maneuver us into position, I can beam aboard Nero’s ship, steal back the black hole device, and if possible, bring back Captain Pike.”

“I won’t allow you to do that, Mister Spock,” Jim replied, still worried about the impact his stunt may have had on the Vulcan’s emotional state.

“Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry,” Spock replied. “Our cultural similarities will make it easier for me to access the ship’s computer to locate the device. Also, my mother was human, which makes Earth the only home I have left.”

“I’m coming with you,” Jim responded.

“I would cite regulation, but I know you will simply ignore it.” Spock had a point.

“See, we are getting to know each other,” Jim smiled at the Vulcan and McCoy rolled his eyes. If these crazy people did manage to succeed, he needed to have sick bay ready to receive a most-likely injured Captain Pike. He left to prepare his staff.

Even though it was only 15 minutes later that he was called to the transporter room, McCoy felt like an eternity passed as he waited to receive word from his best friend. But there he was, running to the transporter room, Chapel and Uhura (why was she there?) along side him, hoping he’d see Captain Pike alive again. Pike’s life signs monitor showed he was close to death. McCoy knew it would be on him to save the man.

“Enterprise now!” they heard Jim yell over his communicator and Scotty beamed Jim, Captain Pike, and Spock back to the platform.

Captain Pike was slumped against the younger man as McCoy rushed through the sliding doors to take the older man to sick bay.

“Jim,” he yelled, relieved to see the younger man relatively unscathed as well.

“Bones!” Their relief at seeing one another again was palpable.

“I’ve got him,” McCoy reassured Jim, as he took Pike from Jim and quickly exited the transporter room for sick bay. Once in sick bay, he gently helped Pike get into a bed. This would be a major surgery. As McCoy scanned Captain Pike with his tricorder, he saw the slug lodged in the other man’s spine.

“Good Lord,” he muttered. He needed to get that slug out if Pike ever wanted to walk again. Those filthy animals had done a number on the captain.

McCoy was in surgery for the rest of the journey back to earth. There were a few moments, when the ship dropped and detonated its warp core, that McCoy cursed and worried he wouldn’t be able to save Pike, not because of his own lack of skill but because these idiots were going to get them all blown up. But after the explosion, things had settled down and he’d been able to work in peace. Without their warp core, the trip took hours, which was fine because so did the surgery. Those Romulans had done a number on their leader. Captain Pike would need time to recover – he wouldn’t be able to walk for some time – but he would live. And the Enterprise was going home. McCoy would see Sabine again. As awful as the last day or so had been, they had survived. So many people he’d known wouldn’t be able to say that. As the ship docked, and McCoy waited for the crew to exit the ship, he looked at all the PADDs on his desk. So many lives gone. So many he could put a face to. He rubbed his eyes sadly. At least they had made it. That night, he would hold the woman he loved in his arms. He didn’t care what came next – they would find a way to make it work. All he needed now was to feel her presence – hold her close to him.


	57. Chapter 57

“This is not up for negotiation. Adjoa and I stay together,” Sabine held her ground against Cass despite the glare she received from the other telepath.

Most of the Resurrection IV crew was gathered with Cass in one of the empty rooms of the engineering building. It was late at night – or early in the morning, depending on how you wanted to look at it. Everyone was exhausted from having worked straight through the Nero crisis. But now they faced a new dilemma. The only people not there were Theo and Oliver, who had seemingly vanished. Sabine suspected they had already found a way off the planet once they knew the plan was a go. They were sneaky like that and they wouldn’t allow themselves to be separated – much as she was now refusing to leave Adjoa.

“So, you wanna stick together AND you wanna head to Nara II? You guys are gonna get caught. The Naralian system is one of the first places they’re gonna search for a powerful telepath, you know that right? You do understand I’m trying to help you, yes?”

“How is it helping when you just told everyone where we are planning to go?” Adjoa asked, glaring right back at Cass.

Cass was infuriated with Sabine right now. She understood how devastated Adjoa was at the loss of her boyfriend. And she knew Sabine was doing what she could to protect and comfort the other woman. She wouldn’t even mind letting them stay together if they weren’t so set on going to Nara II. For fuck’s sake, why not just flee to Admiral Marcus’s house instead? It would be equally effective.

“I know your heart is in the right place but this is what we are doing,” Sabine replied stubbornly. “Maybe we get caught. But maybe we do not.”

“Oh, now all of a sudden, you’re a risk-taker. Fucking fantastic. Glad your adventurous side could finally show up, at the worst goddamned time,” Cass spat out. “And this isn’t about my fucking heart being in the right place. I don’t want you two getting caught and then ratting out the rest of us, especially me.”

Cass wanted the best for the crew but she also wanted to survive. And these fuckers were impeding her second motive at the moment.

“Mmm, of course. My bad. You always look out for yourself first and foremost. Is that better?” Sabine leveled a look of her own at Cass. She knew how big Cass’s heart was, even if the other woman refused to admit it.

“Don’t be a bitch,” Cass replied.

“Which is it? Are you heartless and only looking out for yourself or are you trying to save us all?” Sabine smiled triumphantly at Cass.

“I hate you so fucking much sometimes, you smug asshole,” the soon-to-be-former Section 31 agent mumbled. “And stop gloating – it’s not a good look for you.”

“Sabs, she’s got a point. What if they catch you guys – even one of you – and then force you to tell them everything you know about where the rest of us are?” Seiji wasn’t wild about Sabine and Adjoa pairing up. He wasn’t pairing up with Jinjing or Jayesh. Why were they making exceptions for others? Sure, it was sad Shrax had died but almost everyone in this room had suffered worse at some point.

“I will die before I will give up any information on any of you,” Sabine responded fiercely.

“You forget the most important fact - we do not know where anyone else is going,” Adjoa pointed out. “It was not until you started complaining that anyone knew where we planned to go,” she said pointedly to Cass. “Now you have ensured that if anyone else gets caught, they will be at risk for giving away our location.” The Togolaise squared her shoulders against Cass.

“Guys, we aren’t getting anywhere by fighting with each other,” Maria intervened. “We don’t have time for all this. If Sabs and Adjoa want to stay together and go to Nara II, fine. Cass, do that thing to us where you erase our memories – get rid of us knowing where they’re going.”

Cass looked at Maria in surprise. “You know about that?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, you train Sabine –you know she tells us about what you guys do in training.”

Cass stared at Sabine. “Are you fucking stupid? You can’t go around telling everyone everything. How the fuck did you guys ever stay alive so long?”

“Cass, shut up,” Sabine replied calmly. “You know there are almost no secrets in this group.”

“You fuckfaces are the worst,” Cass muttered. “And I’m gonna miss the shit out of you.” She felt tears stinging her eyes.

This was the last time they’d see each other all together for the foreseeable future – maybe ever. From this point on, everyone would take off for their separate meeting points where they would be picked up either by Aubrey, or one of her associates, and transported to their new homes.

“Okay guys. Seriously, for a minute. Remember the plan. If you ever so much as feel like you’re being followed, you contact Aubrey and we move you somewhere else. If we can’t get to you quickly, you know what to do.” Cass had regained her composure and wanted to make sure everything was clear to each crew member.

“We got it, we got it,” Mía protested.

“Nah, I don’t believe you shady fuckers listen to a thing I say,” Cass replied. She got serious again. “For now, we stay in phase one of the plan – no contact with each other unless you need to get out and then you only contact myself or Aubrey. Let’s see how this works and then we’ll move to other phases. Deal?”

She looked at the group in front of her expectantly. One by one, they voiced their affirmation. And one by one, she reached out to each crew member, save Sabine and Adjoa, and erased their memories of where the two women wanted to go. No one would be able to tell their potential captors that Sabine and Adjoa had headed towards Nara II. She did it so seamlessly, Sabine almost didn’t know what she was doing. But the dilated eyes gave it away. Sabine moved to Cass and grabbed the other woman’s arm.

What are you doing? You cannot erase memories like this. Not everyone gave you permission.

_Too late to worry about that. It’s done now. Don’t look at me like that. You have bigger things to worry about. You need to find Jim and Bones once they’re back._

I know.

Cass could feel the pain radiating out of her friend, could see the bands of blues and purples. Cass had reached out to Sabine before the meeting to discuss how they’d handle the roommates.

_It has to be done, sweetie._

Yes, yes. That does not mean I have to be happy about it.

_They’re probably close to Earth by now. Have you heard from Bones?_

No. I believe he is still in surgery with Cap…your uncle. That is what Jim said in his PADD message a few hours ago. He said Leo would contact me when he was out of surgery.

Sabine knew Cass was worried about her favorite uncle. She fed some comfort through the connection.

Leo is the best surgeon I know. 

_Yeah, I’m sure it’ll be fine._

Cass hoped it would be fine. Even if she never got to see her uncle again, and certainly wouldn’t be able to give him the farewell she wanted to give him, it would be a small comfort to know he survived.

While the two spoke telepathically, they continued to converse with everyone around them. Jinjing had brought some Saurian brandy with her and the rest of the crew was grabbing cups, ready to share a shot together, for old times’ sake. As they raised their cups, Sabine looked out at all her friends. These were the last ties she had to the life she’d known before that final jump and as of the end of this meeting, she didn’t know when she’d see any of them, besides Adjoa, again. It hurt her already wounded heart. Yes, her upcoming reunion with Leo weighed heavily on her but this wrenched her emotions just as much. They’d found a lot of peace and happiness at the Academy and now it was back to facing uncertainty. And doing so alone. They’d been together for most of their lives. She didn’t bother fighting back her tears, seeing the same wetness on most of the faces looking back at her.

Cass was overwhelmed by the mix of emotions in the room. The love these ten people had for one another – their affection for her – their fear at going out alone – fear of being caught by Section 31 – sadness at parting – for some, the sadness of love lost, be it through death or because of the plan they were setting in motion. The sheer intensity and depth of feelings surrounding her made her lightheaded. The colored bands emanating from each person obscured her vision. She had known this would be hard but she hadn’t known it would hurt this much. Somewhere along the way, she’d learned to love these idiots almost as much as they loved each other; they had adopted her into their weird, dysfunctional family and it was perhaps the greatest gift she’d been given in her relatively young life. This plan they all were setting into motion was either the smartest or dumbest thing she’d ever do. She hoped it was the former. She prayed they would all survive and, in time, thrive free of the clutches of Section 31. But right now, her heart ached at what came ahead. She looked over at her fellow telepath. Would Sabine be ready to do what needed to be done when she met with Bones? She knew Sabine was stronger than she looked, stronger than she let on to others, but could she do this? Cass sure as hell hoped so, for everyone’s sake.


	58. Chapter 58

He should have known something was wrong. Her silence upon his return should have been the first clue. But returning from a mission in space was a pain in the ass. There were debriefings, so many goddamn debriefings. And then he’d had to run check-ups on Admiral Pike to ensure the former captain would recover without much inconvenience. And finally, he had needed sleep. They’d all been awake for too many hours straight. As much as McCoy had wanted nothing more than to run into Sabine’s open arms the minute the Enterprise docked, the reality was much more complicated. Hell, the ship docked at spacedock. The soonest he could have seen her was when he exited the shuttle in Hanger One. But he’d been immediately whisked into meetings and more damned meetings. Despite all the distractions, he should have realized immediately, when she didn’t seek him out once they were all back on campus, something was seriously amiss. He hadn’t.

Here it was, almost a full day since he’d landed and he realized Sabine hadn’t answered his most recent messages to her PADD. Even more alarmingly, he’d just stopped by the clinic and found out she hadn’t shown up for her shift that morning. Sabine had never missed a shift. But she’d been absent and hadn’t so much as commed in with an excuse. Something was horribly awry. She’d told him the other night her room computer was a direct feed to Section 31. The other night – it felt like a lifetime ago. He desperately wanted to see his girlfriend. Maybe he could swing by her room and they’d leave together to talk somewhere more private. He walked to her dorm, knocked on the door, and there was no answer. McCoy pressed his ear to the door and heard nothing. He knocked on Adjoa’s door next and it was the same – silence. Where were they?

McCoy made it back to the apartment he and Jim were in the midst of packing up. They’d no longer be roommates – from here on out, they’d be crewmates on the Enterprise. Well, more specifically, Jim would be captain and he’d be the chief medical officer. In a couple of days, there would be a rushed graduation ceremony for the handful of third and fourth year students who had survived the Nero incident. Jim would be officially introduced as captain of the Enterprise, and Pike would be made Admiral, and retire from the ship. And then they’d all return to the Enterprise, their lives as Starfleet officers officially beginning.

“I can’t find her anywhere,” he said with exasperation once he’d walked in the door and seen his roommate packing.

“That’s weird,” Jim stopped what he was doing and looked over at Bones. “Do you think she’s in trouble?”

“I don’t know,” McCoy answered thoughtfully. “Adjoa didn’t answer her door either when I stopped by their dorm. I haven’t heard from any of the twelve. And I’m tellin’ ya, she’d never just not show for a shift at the clinic unless something serious had come up.”

By now, Jim had come over to sit next to McCoy on the couch. “What should we do?” he asked, ready to use any power at his disposal as a captain but also knowing that even with his new appointment, he wouldn’t be very effective against Section 31. But maybe Admiral Pike could be of help. Admiral Pike…Cass! Why hadn’t they contacted Cass yet? She knew Sabine.

“Hey, have you contacted Cass? She and Sabine are friends, after all. Maybe she’ll know something.”

“That’s not a bad idea,” McCoy replied, grateful for his friend’s assistance. But Cass didn’t answer her comm and his subsequent message to her PADD went unanswered. By 11 p.m. that evening, both roommates were more than concerned. The fact that all twelve Resurrection crew members seemed to be missing lent credence to their theory regarding Section 31. The crew members had either been abducted by the organisation, or they were hiding from the agency. Either way, the unanswered messages and comms made sense – they wouldn’t answer anything that could be tracked. But then, where were they and why wasn’t Cass answering either? To McCoy’s knowledge, she hadn’t stopped by to visit her uncle at the clinic – her name wasn’t on the logs and he hadn’t seen her anytime he’d been by to check on Admiral Pike. He had decided to ask the admiral about it tomorrow morning. Something in the back of his mind told him Cass’s silence was somehow tied to the rest of the missing group, even while Jim speculated that it was just a coincidence. The roommates were deep in discussion about what to do when they heard a knock on the door. They looked at each other in confusion.

“Are you expecting someone?” McCoy asked his roommate.

“No. It’s almost midnight,” Jim replied.

“Never stopped you from having visitors in the past,” McCoy noted wryly as he went to answer the door. But rather than crack a joke in reply, he saw Jim run to his room and grab a phaser. McCoy registered the gravity of the situation; Jim was preparing for the worst and that unsettled him. He went to reach for the knob and looked over at Jim who nodded at him in encouragement. Cautiously, he pulled the door open with Jim angled so that he had a good shot at whoever entered.

“It’s you,” McCoy exclaimed in relief.

There she was – Sabine. But his consolation at seeing her vanished once he observed the expression on her face. Jim put his phaser down and the two men ushered the woman into their apartment.

Sabine wasted no time once the door was closed behind her. She pointed at Jim and he slumped down to the floor, in a dead sleep.

“What the hell?” McCoy growled, going over to his roommate. Jim was passed out cold. He stared up at Sabine and saw her wipe a drop of blood from her nose.

“He will be fine,” she replied to his unanswered question. “I just put him to sleep.”

“I didn’t know you could do that,” McCoy replied hesitantly, rising up off the ground to face her.

“I would prefer to not do it,” she answered. “But we have no time.”

McCoy was confused. “What do you mean?” She was moving towards his bedroom so he followed her there. “Are you okay? Your nose…”

“I know,” Sabine murmured. “I am at the boundaries of my abilities right now.” She grabbed a tissue from the box on his dresser and used it to plug her nose.

McCoy stopped short. “What are you doing that’s overwhelming you right now?”

Sabine looked him over, as if debating to reply. Finally, she decided. “This is my fourth time here tonight. You do not remember the other three times but each has ended either in me getting caught or running out of time.”

“I don’t understand,” he replied, his eyebrow raised.

“I am using time travel to be here right now,” she said tersely, her mind on the minutes ticking by. “I only have 25 minutes left to do what I need to do.”

“And what’s that?” McCoy asked, folding his arms. This wasn’t the reunion he’d anticipated. His question stopped her short.

“You will not like it,” she whispered. “But you gave me permission to do this the last time I was here.” With that, she pointed at him and McCoy felt the edges of his vision go black until the blackness overtook him. He fell back onto his bed and Sabine rushed over to pull his legs up and situate him comfortably in his bed.

“I am so sorry, my love,” she whispered, stroking his cheek. “I wish we had more time.” Tears rolled down her cheek as she heard Cass in her head.

Sorry to interrupt but the clock is ticking.

_I know. They are both unconscious. I will begin the memory work now._

* * *

On her first try, Sabine had sat Jim and Leo down in the main room and explained to both of them what had happened and what she needed to do. But then Jim had wanted to be heroic and Leo had fed off his bravado. She couldn’t get either of them to agree to her plan and the Section 31 agents had shown up, breaking down the door and shooting at them, phasers set to stun. Both she had Jim had been hit. Cass had pulled her out. After she’d used a dermal regenerator on her wound, she’d gone back a second time.

Having learned her lesson, she put Jim to sleep immediately then explained everything to Leo. He’d agreed to her plan reluctantly and she’d managed to erase and replace his memories before the agents had shown up. They’d listened at the door and would have gone away had Jim not chosen that moment to wake up and cry out, “Jesus, Sabs, what the hell did you do that for?” Cue another breakdown of the door and more phaser stuns.

On the third visit, she placed Jim in a deeper sleep and moved him to his bedroom before sitting down with Leo. With one eye on the clock, she prepared to tell her tale. She knew she wouldn’t have time to do what she needed but if he would agree to what she wanted to do now, she could jump back one more time and actually finish her mission.

She sat down on his bed and he wordlessly followed her over, sitting next to her and putting his right arm around her. She leaned into him and they sat in silence for a minute, just enjoying the fact that they were with one another once more. Through all the horror of the last two days, they had been fortunate enough to return to each other. The empty hallways and quads of the Academy showed them how lucky they were. But Sabine knew luck was fickle and it was about to change.

“Give me your hand, please,” she requested quietly, righting herself so that she was sitting up straight. “There’s so much to share and this will be the quickest way…”

He held his palm out to her. She lined her own up with his and together, they interlaced their fingers.

_This will not be a full meld. I just need to explain some things to you that I skipped the last time. And I need you to know what is happening right now._

Okay. Do what you need to, darlin’. You’ve got me worried.

_I know. I am sorry. But you should be worried. I am terrified._

From there, she started sharing memories. The connection was open this time – she could hear his thoughts and he could hear hers. She explained that they would jump around but he needed to know what Section 31 was up to.

They focused their complete attention on her memories as the Resurrection crew arrived in London. The members were escorted, one by one, into a room with an agent. When Sabine’s turn came, McCoy was surprised to find the woman sitting across from his girlfriend was none other than Cass Pike.

Wait, Cass is Section 31?

_Yes. I wanted to tell you the other night but I needed to ask her first if she would be okay with that…and then things took a turn so we have no choice at this point but for you to know._

What took a turn? Why don’t you have a choice?

_So many questions, as always. I promise, the answers are all coming._

Sorry. You know patience isn’t my strong suit.

_Yes. I am doing my best to move this along._

He watched as she sped her memories forward – they lived in London for a year, preparing to enter Starfleet Academy. Each member of the crew worked to learn about what they’d missed in the last 220 years but even that year hadn’t been sufficient – they’d still learned so much more once they started at the Academy. Cass had joined the Academy with the crew so that she could continue her supervision. He saw them go through the weekly meetings, get upset about agents following them, learn to trust Cass and realize she was on their side. Then she slowed the memories as they got to the night in the club, when Cass had revealed the information Aubrey had shared with her.

On a routine sweep of the outer regions of Federation space, an ancient Earth spacecraft had been found. The SS Botany Bay. Once the ship which had found the Botany Bay realized what they were dealing with, Federation officials at the highest levels determined this was an assignment best suited to Section 31. Admiral Marcus received the briefings – 80 genetically enhanced humans from the 1990s had been in cryogenic slumber for the last 261 years. They had not woken any of the Augments yet but they knew who they were – the infamous Khan and his followers, long presumed dead. Seven of the followers had not survived – their chambers had malfunctioned somewhere along the way. But that left 73 super-humans at the disposal of Section 31 and Marcus did everything in his power to be given control of the Botany Bay project. He was well-aware of the Resurrection crew – they had also been placed under his ultimate supervision – and the possibilities danced before his eyes. What if they cross-bred the Augments with clones (which had not been sterilized) of the augmented members of the Resurrection crew? What if he could harness the volatility of the Augments and use it for his own purposes? Could a telepath as strong as Sabine be cloned and bred with the Augments to make super-strong warriors who could predict their adversaries’ moves? Or at the least, read the enemy’s thoughts and act accordingly? The playing field had changed, as far as Marcus was concerned. With the combined talents of the Augments and the Resurrection crew, Klingons and Romulans could be halted dead in their tracks – decimated if need be.

Marcus didn’t care about the risks to either the Augments or the Resurrection crew. All he wanted was the ultimate weapon. He had always felt Starfleet’s biggest weakness was its focus on peaceful exploration. The Federation needed to be more militaristic, in his mind. This was his chance to show everyone how much could be accomplished through strategic fighting. But he needed the right excuse to gain access to the Augments. The Federation officials aware of Section 31, and more specifically, the Botany Bay project, had all agreed none of the Augments should be awakened unless absolutely necessary; they were too unstable, too much of a risk, to be unfrozen just for the sake of research. As Marcus grew impatient waiting for an excuse to arise, he began to seek out a way to force the issue.

Now Sabine was sharing the information Aubrey had given Cass just a day or so ago.

Marcus had discovered, through Section 31 spies, that the same Romulans who had created such havoc 20-some years ago when they destroyed the USS Kelvin, were rotting away in a Klingon prison. He’d decided to help set them loose, and see what chaos they might create. He had not been disappointed. And now that everyone was up in arms about the destruction of Vulcan, he’d been given permission to unfreeze one of the Augments. His choice? The leader, of course. So now Khan Noonien Singh was awake and Marcus was ready to begin his experiments with the Resurrection crew.

Wait – he wants to use y’all as lab rats? He can’t do that. It’s against countless Federation regulations. Genetic engineering in general – 

_I know. It is all illegal. But Section 31 operates outside the bounds of legality. He has convinced enough people in power to allow him to do this._

How do we stop him? I won’t let him touch you.

As they communicated, she showed him her meeting with Marcus. It had been one thing just hearing her description of meeting the man. Seeing it was something altogether different. McCoy was seething. He’d kill the man himself if he had to.

_I love you so much. But you cannot stop him. He will kill anyone who stands in his way._

Sabine showed him the rest of her memories regarding the file Cass had read that day in the park. Marcus already had a long list of people he’d put down for standing in his way. People much higher up than anyone they knew at the Academy. McCoy had stopped doubting Sabine about Section 31 the night she’d shown him everything. But now he felt a despair settle in his bones. How did you fight someone with so much power? And how had he missed this kind of corruption right in front of them all, so close to the Academy?

_Do not spend time wandering about things for which the answer cannot be found. Right now, we have to focus on what we can do to keep one another safe._

What do you mean? I know we need to protect you…but why are you worried about me?

_He knows we are intimate. Who do you think all these agents following you report to? He will use you to get to me._

She showed him some more memories. Sabine showed Leo the plans Cass and the Resurrection crew had set in motion – plans to leave this world if they found out Marcus had started phase one of the Botany Bay project. Once again, he saw her conversation with John, only now he saw what it had truly been for.

_I am sorry I lied to you about that._

No, no. It makes sense. I wouldn’t have understood before. But you aren’t leaving are you?

His distress was palpable.

_I do not have a choice, love. And there is more._

She fed him love through the connection because what she was about to tell him was the worst part of what she had to share with him. Her tears fell in rapid succession but she tried to block her sadness from him. He was overwhelmed with his own grief already and she feared for how he would take her next sentences.

_He will seek you out once he knows we have all left the planet. He will bring you in for questioning and use telepathic agents to read your mind. You will not even know they are doing it. He will hold you hostage and threaten to kill you….and he will follow through on the threat if I do not comply. He will use you to bring me back here. And that will bring all of us back. The only chance we have is to disappear. And to do that, I need to disappear from your memories as well._

He balked as she knew he would. She quickly fed him her memories of training with Cass – of the techniques Cass had taught her which she had resisted so vehemently for so long. Up till this point, McCoy had rolled with the punches. It was awful to think of Sabine fleeing the Academy but they’d find a way to make it work – hell, he’d be in space himself. They could handle this – they were still in it together. But now….he had a feeling she was about to pull the rug out from under him.

You want to erase my memories of you?

_Not all of them. Section 31 knows too much about our relationship. If you go in there with no memories of me, they will know your mind was tampered with and they will still use you as bait._

So what are you proposing?

His wariness fell over her in waves. He was going to hate this.

_I need to erase all your memories of what I have shared with you the past few days. You cannot remember learning about my past. And then…_

She hesitated. She didn’t know if she could do this.

What? Just tell me. I’ll do whatever you need.

_Then, I alter your memories so it looks like we broke up. I make the relationship look like it fell apart. I make you hate me. You are worthless to them if they think we do not have a serious connection._

He sat in stunned silence as she fed him more of the plan. How she would create memories that made it look as though she’d been cheating on him…she would use his own apprehensions and suspicions of John – make his worst insecurities come to life. She would minimize as much as she could any of the times he’d been curious about her past. Now, he would think she was telling lies to hide other lovers. And it would culminate in him finding her in bed with John.

McCoy wanted to be sick.

How can you contemplate this?

_Because it keeps both of us safe. I do not want to do this. It is the last thing I would dream of doing except that if I do not, you and I could both be killed._

She closed the memory connection and they could face each other, see one another, while still sharing thoughts and feelings. Her grip on his hand tightened and his own eyes blurred as he thought about what she was proposing.

_I do not want you to hate me but I could not live with myself if you were used as bait. This is the only way I can think of to keep us both safe._

He took his time replying. She knew he was struggling with everything she’d shared. He wanted to object but he knew she was right.

If I agree to this, can it be reversed? There has to be a way.

_There is a way to bring erased memories back. And I can create a loophole…but it will be a difficult one to find and the onus will lie with you. I cannot bring your memories back for you. Doing so could cause you permanent mental damage and even if it did not, you would think all your memories were fake if I pushed the truth on you. But I can, and will, create a glitch that, if you focus on it enough, will help unravel the fake memories and give you a path to the truth. It will be subtle enough that Section 31 will not notice it._

So you’re going to erase everything that could lead to you from my mind and our devices?

_Yes. And Jim too._

And there’s a chance, some point in the future, we can end up together again. I won’t detest you forever?

_Hopefully._

I hate this.

_Me too. More than I can express. But I hate the thought of your pain or death even more._

They were silent as she let the magnitude of what she was trying to do sink in. He looked at her helplessly and she allowed him to roam her thoughts. He could see her pain, her efforts to find alternatives that wouldn’t lead to his mind being tampered with.

“I do not have the time to do this right now,” she murmured in his ear as he held her against his chest. “I will have to come back again.”

He pulled away and looked at her in confusion.

“This is my third trip here tonight. Guards will be at your apartment door in minutes. If they have any reason to suspect I am here, they will break down the door and stun us.”

“You know this because…”

“It happened twice already.”

“What do you need from me?” He stroked her hair and the pain in his eyes brought tears to her own.

“I need your permission – the next time I come, may I please alter your memories?”

He sighed before answering. “There’s no other way to get around this?”

“None that I can think of…and this is all I have thought of since Cass told us we needed to leave.”

“Okay,” he whispered against her forehead. “Do what you need to do.”

“Thank you,” she whispered back, knowing the guards would be there within seconds. If they were quiet enough, she could jump forward without a stun wound this time. She grabbed Leo’s hand in her own.

_I love you so much._

Darlin’, I adore you. I will find you. I don’t care how long it takes, this is not over. We’ll be together again.

_I hope so._

I know it. I love you.

* * *

On the fourth attempt, Sabine moved quickly. Leo had given her his permission, even if he had no memory of the conversation. And Jim? He’d be fine. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d wake up hating her. Well, maybe he would. But it wouldn’t be the same. She worked on Leo first, then moved to Jim. Cass walked her through everything, monitoring her progress against the time clock. As she walked through Leo’s bedroom one last time, silently saying goodbye to the man she loved, Sabine knew that her only hope rested in the gold and sapphire ring she removed from the chain around her neck and placed on his dresser. The ring was the loophole. If he had any hope of remembering the truth, it would be found in that ring. Sabine finished with minutes to spare and Adjoa, who had perfected the new time travel technology, brought her back. They didn’t need pods now. Dilithium crystals made the whole process quick and painless. Once back, Adjoa disconnected the crystal pack she’d attached to the back of Sabine’s neck. Her hair had hidden it from view. Cass removed a similar pack from her own neck. She’d been able to see and hear everything Sabine had experienced in her four jumps back. They were now five hours ahead of Jim and McCoy, in Bangalore, and ready to meet Aubrey’s cruiser.

Sabine asked Adjoa to destroy the crystals and the PADD they had used for her trips to the McCoy/Kirk apartment and the other woman complied without question. The choice of using time travel had been one Sabine wrestled with and she was still uneasy with the fact that she’d altered both Jim and Leo’s memories without their explicit approval. Sure, Leo had told her she could do whatever she needed at the end of her third visit – and he had agreed during the second visit as well so it would be reasonable to think that if she’d had more time, she could have gotten him to agree during the fourth visit. But that didn’t feel sufficient to her and Sabine had the lingering sense that what she’d done to Leo was a much bigger violation than any of the three women were willing to acknowledge. But then she would think of the alternative and she realized she’d do anything to keep him safe, even if it meant he would never forgive her. The irony of being able to use time travel and still not having enough time to complete the mission as she had hoped was not lost on Sabine. The narrow window of time between guard visits had kept her from visiting for the hours she would have preferred. But then, if she were going by preference, she would ultimately have avoided the whole mission altogether – leave Leo and Jim’s memories intact and hope they could all reconnect somewhere in space. But that was a fool’s wish and she knew it. Marcus would undoubtedly waste no time in having someone read both men for any information he could get once he realized the Resurrection crew and Cass had fled.

Cass didn’t need to say a word to know how the other telepath was feeling. She could see it etched in the tear tracks on Sabine’s face, could feel it in the bands of misery radiating off her friend. She simply hugged Sabine. A half hour later, Sabine was staring at the Earth with tear-filled eyes as it grew smaller and smaller out the window of the tiny cruiser Aubrey called home.


	59. Chapter 59

“What do you mean you can’t find any of them?” Admiral Alexander Marcus stared down the agents in his office, his voice filled with quiet and lethal anger.

“Sir, they’re gone. All of them.”

“How the hell do you lose twelve cadets, Agents? Are we not teaching you how to track properly? Do you need remedial training?” Marcus grew angrier and his voice louder as he continued speaking.

“We don’t know, sir. As of 0400 hours yesterday morning, several of the tracking agents called in missing targets. When we sent more agents out to search, we discovered that all twelve targets were missing. We have checked their rooms, checked their classes, extracuriculars, common hang-out and eating spots – there’s nothing.”

“That’s not all, sir,” the other agent spoke up timidly.

“There’s more?” Marcus was red-faced.

“Agent Pike is also missing,” the agent said quietly, fearing the admiral’s response.

“Goddamit,” Marcus swore. “You’re telling me the handler is missing as well?”

The agents nodded silently.

“When did you realize the targets were gone?” The agents shifted uncomfortably as Marcus glared at them.

“Sir, we just heard an hour ago from the agents tracking Cadet Latour and Agent Pike that neither had been seen in their dorms since mid-way through the Nero crisis.

“That does not answer my question, gentlemen. When the fuck did you first find out targets were going missing?”

“We first realized some had gone missing just after Nero attacked. The two male cadets who share a room – they were the first to disappear, sir.”

“And the rest seem to have disappeared just an hour or so before the Enterprise returned to Spacedock, sir.”

The agents shared a look with one another. They had allowed their staff to become complacent in following the Resurrection cadets and now they were paying the price. But how were they to have known all twelve targets were going to suddenly disappear on the heels of the biggest crisis the Federation had dealt with since the Earth-Romulan War some 100 years earlier? For months, the cadets had acted as they always did – attending classes, hanging out with fellow cadets at various bars and clubs – while there were occasional flags on things they would discuss in public, nothing about the cadets’ behavior had indicated sudden disappearance and mutiny.

“You mean to tell me you’ve sat on this information for almost fourteen hours? I should have known the instant you realized those two twinks had gone missing!” Marcus’s incredulity was outmatched only by his anger.

“Sir, we wanted to make sure before we came to you.”

“Make sure of what? Did you think you’d find them hiding under rocks? Or is that where you’ve been hiding your brains?”  He glowered at the agents.

“Get out – both of you. I’ll deal with your incompetence later. For now, we need agents out in the alpha quadrant, searching for our targets. And one more thing – if your agents find Pike, don’t bother bringing her back alive. The rest, I want unharmed. But she’s of no use to us anymore.”

Both agents looked at the admiral in surprise. Though unconventional and prone to receiving warnings from her supervisors, everyone knew Agent Pike was one of the best Section 31 had to offer. The idea that they should aim to kill her was… well…distressing. Section 31 agents rarely killed their own.

“Did I stutter? You have your orders, gentlemen. Get out, unless you want a one-way ticket to the Neutral Zone.”

The agents quickly nodded and rushed out of the room. Marcus rubbed the bridge of his nose then got on his communicator.

“It’s me,” he barked as his contact in London picked up.

“We have a problem. The Resurrection crew, with the aid of one of our agents, has made a run for it.” He listened patiently to the response of his colleague.

“I understand that. But this is no accident. They’ve left at the same time we were ready to initiate phase one of the Botany Bay program. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.” The person on the other end of the comm replied in anger.

“I didn’t say you’re to blame. I don’t know how they got the information. I just know they got it and now we have some cleaning up to do.” His contact asked a question.

“No, she’s worthless to us.” More protests and excuses in response.

“It’s clear she’s flipped. We need to get rid of her. I told you she wasn’t trustworthy when we first assigned her. Maybe next time, you’ll listen to me…if there is a next time for you.”

The acrimonious conversation continued for a few more minutes before Admiral Marcus closed his communicator in annoyance. Was everyone in this organization incompetent? How had the targets discovered his plans for them? Obviously, Agent Pike had something to do with it but how did she get the information? She didn’t have that kind of clearance. The only thing giving Marcus any kind of solace was how satisfying it would be to have Agent Pike terminated once and for all. He’d never liked her. Sure, Admiral Pike would miss his niece, but that was a small price to pay. Speaking of Admiral Pike, maybe it was time to pay his former mentee a visit and find out how much he might know about his niece’s disappearance. Marcus made a note on his PADD to invite Christopher Pike to dinner the next day for some catching-up between old friends.


	60. Chapter 60

Jim was the first one to awaken the next morning and he felt like his head was going to cave in. What the balls had they done last night? He had a vague memory of drinking which was confirmed by empty bottles of bourbon on the kitchen counter. Why had they gotten so shit-faced? The numerous options that could have driven them to so much drink sobered him up quickly. Was it the stress of the entire Nero situation? The apprehension of what lay ahead once they were sent back onto the Enterprise? The loneliness of returning to campus and realizing just how many friends they had lost in the battle? The demise of Bones and Sabine’s relationship right before they left? There were so many reasons they had to get wasted. The only real question was which one(s) did they choose last night?

He mulled over the evening as he prepared a pot of coffee. Whenever Bones managed to get up and out of his room, he was gonna want a huge cup of joe – Jim had experienced enough of his hungover roommate to know exactly what to expect from the perennially grumpy doctor.

It took McCoy forever to finally open his eyes. Every part of his head hurt. What the fuck did he drink last night? When he finally managed to open his eyes, the room was spinning. It was already 9am. His mouth tasted like something had died in it. He was gonna be sick. He grabbed the trash can by his bed and hurled.

“Goddammit, Jim,” he hollered, hearing his roommate moving around the apartment.

“You rang?” Jim opened the door to his bedroom and McCoy winced at the light which poured in.

“What did we do to ourselves last night?”

“Looks like we drank some shitty bourbon,” he roommate replied, holding up the empty bottles he’d been ready to throw away.

“We drank all that?” McCoy asked incredulous. He didn’t even remember going out to get the alcohol.

“What is this swill? I would never drink this sober,” he muttered, examining the off-brand labels.

“Yeah, looks…and feels…like we had ourselves quite a night,” Jim observed. He took the bottles from McCoy and left, presumably to throw them away. Upon returning he handed his friend a large mug of coffee.

“See, this is why I keep you around,” McCoy mumbled appreciatively, grabbing the mug with both hands while sitting up in his bed.

“You’re sick too?” he asked Jim, noticing the other man’s grimace as he sat down on the bed.

“God, yeah. Feel like death,” Jim replied. “I haven’t felt this bad after a night of drinking since high school.”

“I don’t even remember how or why we started,” McCoy complained, his memories from the night before foggy. He remembered drinking – sort of. Most of the night was just a black out.

“Me either,” Jim sighed.

McCoy looked over to his dresser and saw his great-grandmother’s ring sitting on top of it. Well, maybe that explained it. He said nothing about it to his roommate but once Jim left the room to shower, McCoy walked over and picked the ring up. Just looking at it hurt him. This was why you never gave precious family heirlooms to someone you’d only known for a few months. What a fool he’d been. The memories of walking in on her with her crew mate bubbled up and he worried he’d be sick again.

Had he pulled the ring out before getting totally hammered or after? Who knew? All he could focus on was figuring out how to hide the damn thing from himself, so he wouldn’t think of her. Why had he ever let himself trust another woman? Hadn’t Jocelyn been warning enough? Never again, he vowed. He wouldn’t make the same mistake a third time. He sighed as he sat back down on his bed, ring in hand.

“Why, Sabine?” he whispered into the empty room. “Why did you do it?”

But he’d been asking that question for almost two weeks now. The only good thing about the Nero incident was it had forced him to think about something else. But today, they had a memorial service to attend for all their fallen classmates. He didn’t have any more time or energy to waste lamenting the woman who had ripped him to shreds with her lies and deceptions. It was time to move forward. Becoming part of the senior medical staff (CMO, at that, though he couldn’t be too excited over the position as it had only come to him at the expense of Dr. Puri) of the Enterprise a full year before he’d anticipated was probably the best thing that could happen to him. He only needed to avoid his ex for another week and then they’d be back out there in space. He shook his head. He never thought he’d live to see the day he preferred to head into the unknown galaxy as opposed to staying on the familiar ground of the Earth. “This is what women do to you,” he complained internally.


	61. Chapter 61

Cass turned around in her seat to look back at Sabine. She found the other girl staring vacantly out the window next to her. When Adjoa had fallen asleep an hour or so ago, Sabine had lost the one distraction from her own pain and had quickly reverted to the same disconsolate silence she’d fallen into upon returning from her last jump to the men’s apartment. Cass attempted to feed the other telepath a bit of consolation. Sabine turned and smiled at her – a smile closer to a frown if truth be told.

We’re alive. At least there’s that.

_I know. We did the right thing. It just hurts._

Sabine closed the connection. She wanted to be alone for a bit – to feel without having to justify or explain herself. Cass turned back around. She got it. She didn’t envy Sabine the actions she’d taken in the last 24 hours. Sabine had erased all memory of Section 31, of Cass’s membership in the organisation (something neither man had known till last night), and Sabine’s past from her friends’ minds and even with all that, Cass knew Jim and Bones would still treat her like the friend she’d always been the next time their paths crossed. Sabine had no such comfort.

_You know, your friend is pretty cute._

Cass stared over at Aubrey.

You’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me. You do realize she just left the man she loves after erasing his memories and making him hate her?

_Yeah? And?_

No. Just no. Fuck off. Do not hit on my friends.

_Come on. You are such a killjoy. She’s in pain – nothing helps you recover like a rebound._

I swear to God, I will light you on fire with a rusty phaser if you so much as breathe wrong on her.

Aubrey laughed out loud, startling both Cass and Sabine.

_You’re so gullible. I’m not gonna hit on her. She’s a fucking mess right now. But she is a slammin’ babe._

Fuck you. I hate you.

_Too bad you’re stuck with me now._

Cass rolled her eyes and closed the connection. Maybe Sabine had the right idea. Silence (and peace from others) was golden. Despite wanting to stay awake in case Sabine or Adjoa needed something, Cass felt her eyes grow heavy and soon, she was sleeping in her chair. They had all gone a while without sleep. Sabine wished she could sleep but every time she closed her eyes, Leo was there and she wasn’t ready to walk down memory lane. Best to keep her eyes on the future. Or the warp bubble, as it were.

Another twenty minutes passed and Aubrey dropped her ship out of warp.

“Okay guys, we’ll be at Nara II in about a half hour,” she called out, waking both Cass and Adjoa. With Adjoa once again awake, Sabine shook off her funk and returned her attentions to her best friend.

“As-tu bien dormi?” she asked.

“Je suppose,” Adjoa said tiredly.

She had been sleeping across two seats, her legs dangling over the edge of one onto the floor. It hadn’t been a comfortable sleep and her dreams had been sad and dark. She sat up, freeing the seat between her and Sabine.

Sabine moved over one seat so she was right next to Adjoa and put her arm around the other woman. Adjoa gratefully snuggled against her friend. “La vie pourrait être pire,” she thought. At least they were together. And they had been the last ones to leave Earth, due to Sabine’s insistence on seeing Leo before parting. Which meant everyone had made it to their new locations. They were all safe for now.

* * *

“So, let’s talk about Nara II, ladies,” Aubrey called out after everyone was awake and they began their final approach to the planet. “It’s a lush planet. The climate year-round is temperate, with temperatures never rising above 24 degrees Celsius. All manner of vegetation can be grown there.”

“Dude, they know all this,” Cass replied, still cranky from waking up.

“I do not,” Adjoa rebutted. “Sabine is the one who chose this planet. I know almost nothing about it. Tell me more.”

“So, the fertile soil and rich harvests were the origin of its nickname, ‘The Garden of Eden.’ These days, most visitors refer to it as Eden because of the more carnal pleasures one can find there,” Cass offered, stretching and yawning afterward.

Aubrey picked up where Cass left off. “Yeah, so even though Naralians stopped exploring space hundreds of years ago, they’re well-known throughout the galaxy for their luxurious brothels – the Grand Houses –”

“Not to be confused with the Klingon Great Houses,” Cass interrupted.

“Definitely not. Speaking of, can I tell you about the one-night stand I had with this Klingon warrior last week? Some of the best sex I’ve ever had…I was so sore the next morning –”

“Jesus, Aubrey, give it a rest. No one wants to hear about your every sexual escapade,” Cass grumbled.

“Actually? I find it fascinating,” Sabine countered. “I did not know Klingons could – or would – have sex with non-Klingons. Is it true they have two penises?”

“Well, first of all, that’s a little presumptuous of you to assume I slept with a male Klingon,” Aubrey replied slyly. Sabine’s face fell. “I’m just teasing you – it was totally a guy and yes, they do have double dicks. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime ride.”

Sabine laughed. She surprised even herself with the sound. Who knew she’d be laughing this soon after leaving everything behind?

_See, I knew she’d be a wild one. You sure I can’t make a pass at her?_

Aubrey waggled her eyebrows at Cass.

Over my fucking dead-ass body.

“I’ll tell you more another time, cutie. We gotta fill your friend in on Nara II,” Aubrey turned and gave Sabine a smile and wink. Cass thought about punching her sister as hard as she could.

“Tell us more about these Grand Houses,” Adjoa asked Aubrey. She then turned to Sabine. “Is that why you wanted to come here? The brothels?”

“Not entirely.” Sabine grimaced. She knew Adjoa was teasing her – despite the stereotype of the French femme fatale, Sabine had always been the prude of the Resurrection group. That said, she was riveted by the Naralian take on sexuality. “I am also interested in their telepathic abilities. But I will admit I find the way they view sex to be enthralling.”

“And how is that?” Adjoa’s curiosity had been piqued.

“For starters, Naralians cater their ‘services’ to all species and in their culture, the highest achievement one can obtain is to end up as a courtesan in one of the Grand Houses,” Aubrey answered.

“To say Naralians are sex-positive is an understatement,” Cass added.

“Yes, but they have a very nuanced view of intimacy and sex,” Sabine pointed out. Adjoa gave her a nudge to continue. “Mmm, for example, Naralians recognize over eight different genders within their society. They embrace all forms of sexuality and asexuality. It does not offend or bother them if another species objects to sex as a transaction or if other beings find the way their society views sex to be too graphic. They are respectful of all beliefs regarding how sexuality should be displayed.”

“Yeah, the Grand Houses and smaller brothels do their business quietly, without any advertising or outward lewdness,” Aubrey confirmed.

“It’s pretty interesting when you contrast it with Terran society,” Cass observed. “Each courtesan has absolute discretion over who they choose to partner with.” As a part-Betazoid, she’d always found humans to be a little too uptight about sex. After all, Betazoid weddings were completely nude affairs. That always freaked her Terran friends out.

“So the courtesan chooses the customer?” Adjoa was confused. She’d never heard of a system where the sex workers could choose who they worked with.

“Pretty much,” Cass replied. “Because there are so many of them, customers are pretty much assured someone will choose them. But yeah, it’s the courtesan’s choice as to whom they want to spend the night with. Oh! And any transaction can be stopped at any point for any reason by either the courtesan or the credit-paying customer.”

“Each house is required to have a doctor on location and no act can be undertaken without both parties submitting medical evidence of their sexual health,” Aubrey added.

“Eh, do you know that from experience, now?” Adjoa teased.

“You better believe it. This is one of my favorite places to visit,” Aubrey replied, turning and giving Sabine and Adjoa a wicked grin.

“Yeah, that reminds me. You guys are gonna need to be extra careful,” Cass decided to ignore her sister’s blatant attempts at flirting for now. She had more pressing issues to deal with. The two girls in the back of the ship looked at her in rapt attention and she continued. “While Starfleet officially frowns on ships seeking shore leave at locations known for prostitution, like Risa, Wrigley’s pleasure planet, and Nara II, if they have to make a choice between the pleasure planets –”

“And they do because Starfleet officers are basically just sailors in space,” Aubrey interrupted. Cass gave her a look.

“Talk about the pot calling the kettle a loose whore,” she muttered. “Anyway, they prefer their ships to dock at Nara II. So it’s become one of the more popular of the shore leave planets. And that means you two need to keep a low profile so no one recognizes you.” Cass turned and looked at Sabine and Adjoa as she finished speaking.

“Is Nara II in the Federation? You mentioned they cater to ALL species. Just how inclusive are they?” Adjoa asked.

“You wanna take this one?” Cass asked Aubrey.

“Sure,” her sister replied. “The Naralians have a good relationship with both Starfleet and the Federation. In fact, Starfleet doctors will get hired by certain Grand Houses and, despite the Naralian isolationism policy, a small number of Naralians join Starfleet each year.”

“The Naralian concept of isolationism is unique,” Sabine piped up. Adjoa looked at her and nodded for her to continue.

“While Nara II welcomes any and all travelers from across the universe –”

“Up to and including Romulans, Klingons, and other Federation antagonists,” Aubrey cut in.

Sabine continued, unruffled by the interruption. “The Naralians themselves have no desire to engage in space exploration or to tie themselves officially to any one galactic organisation.”

“To put it in terms you’ll understand, they’re the Switzerland of the Alpha quadrant,” finished Cass. “They have peace treaties with all the major galactic powers and any species is allowed to seek asylum on Nara II.”

“But how do they keep such good relations with groups that despise one another?” Adjoa was fully engaged in the conversation. She’d been so upset over Shrax’s death, she hadn’t given any thought to her new home till now.

“If you ask me?” Aubrey replied. “It’s due to their singular abilities to understand others via telepathy and a greater possession of empathy than most species. Naralians maintain excellent working and living arrangements with all major species in the known galaxy because they’re just so damn soothing to be around.”

“They’re pacifists and even during their limited era of space exploration, their ships were free of weaponry,” Cass expounded. “Those Naralians who choose to join Starfleet request exemption from carrying any kind of weapon. Most end up in the medical or science tracks.”

“Naralians have a reputation among the galaxy as a generous, helpful, and tirelessly hardworking species and these traits lend themselves to success in both the bedroom and in the field of medicine,” Audrey added before pausing a moment. “So tell me, Sabine. I know you’re into medicine but are you also into sex? Which career are you going to pursue down there?”

Sabine blushed at the other woman’s forward question.

Knock it the fuck off. You’re making her uncomfortable and I swear to all the gods, I am this close to calling mom and dad and telling them where you are.

_Okay, okay. Lighten up. She’s cute when she gets all red in the cheeks._

“I will stick to medicine,” Sabine replied quietly.

“The galaxy’s loss,” Aubrey cracked and that time, Cass did punch her in the arm, muttering a slew of profanities at the same time.

“Sorry, don’t mind me,” Aubrey laughed as she punched her sister back. Sabine had never really been hit on by another woman and she was surprised to find she didn’t mind it. She’d been so young when she started dating Dinesh and she’d missed a lot of opportunities for sexual exploration. Not that she was in the right place mentally to consider any kind of romantic or sexual escapades. She felt another pang as she thought about McCoy again. Meanwhile Aubrey and Cass sensed the French woman’s sudden sadness.

See? I told you she’s too raw to mess around with right now.

_I’m just trying to distract her and give her something to smile about. Real talk? I’m not gonna make a move on your friends. Promise._

“So what makes the Naralians so good in bed? Are they like the Orions with pheromones?” Now that Adjoa’s interest in Nara II had been whet, she would ask as many questions as she could. And she liked this Aubrey girl. Anyone who could help Sabine push the limits of her comfort zone was alright in Adjoa’s book.

“No,” Cass answered. “Their unique talents in the bedroom can be attributed to the telepathic ability that almost every Naralian is born with.”

Sabine understood. Similarly to how she and Leo had experimented with the joys of sharing pleasure telepathically through contact, Naralians used the same principles to bring pleasure to themselves and their partners.

“Like all things related to sex on Nara II,” Aubrey pressed on, “consent is an essential component of the telepathic experience behind closed doors of the Grand Houses and smaller salons. If partners don’t want telepathy used in the bedroom, it’s forbidden. And if a Naralian doesn’t master sufficient control of their abilities, they’re barred from becoming courtesans.”

“Sex and telepathy are perhaps the two cornerstones of Naralian society and both require trust and safety precautions to ensure full enjoyment,” Cass said.

“Even more warrior-like species like the Klingons will admit to relishing the clear rules of engagement in Naralian brothels,” Aubrey added, her eyes dancing. “And everyone knows Naralians are willing to try anything once, as long as all partners are game.”

“Is it true that, outside of Starfleet, Klingons are Nara II’s biggest clientele?” Sabine asked.

“Oh yeah. Get ready to meet a lot of Klingons,” Aubrey answered.

Adjoa and Sabine shared a wary glance and Aubrey felt their apprehension.

“Don’t worry, guys. Klingons aren’t as bad as Starfleet would have you think. Some of the best beings I know are Klingons,” she assured them.

“Almost all reports of violence on Nara II (which are few and far between) stem from drunken incidents between Klingons and Starfleet officers,” Cass piped up. “The Naralians themselves are often the ones to intercede and ensure neither party is too badly injured.”

“What do Naralians look like?” Adjoa asked. “Are we going to blend in?”

“Good question,” Cass said appreciatively. “They’re definitely humanoid. If not for a couple of distinctive features and their manner of dress, you’d assume they’re Terran or Betazoid. But they do stand out.”

“For the record, I think they’re some of the most beautiful beings in our galaxy,” Aubrey noted.

“You’d say that about any species,” Cass complained.

“What? Beauty is everywhere,” her sister replied.

“Anyway, back to the question at hand. Generally, Naralians are taller than most species, and thinner as well, with a more narrow face.”

“I think willowy is a good way to describe them,” Aubrey interjected.

“The irises of their eyes are frequently lavender, gold, silver, or rose.” Cass ignored the interruption.

“They have very wide, circular eyes,” Aubrey added.

“Naralians are known for their grace in moving – many liken it to almost a gliding motion.”

“But I’ve observed them closely and they walk like other humanoids.” Aubrey was _this close_ to making a joke about other things she’d observed but she refrained, her arm still sore from where Cass had hit her.

“Their hair is frequently worn long and straight, or in ornate plaits piled on the top of the head, and it’s naturally prone to opalescent colorations – a Naralian might have streaks of blue, pink, purple, and green hair or just one shade. Naralians favor long, thin layers of fluid fabrics for their clothing, generally in lighter colors and patterns.” Cass turned around to see Adjoa taking in every word hungrily. She wasn’t surprised – the Resurrection crew loved learning and experiencing new things. It was a shame they had been so unique in their own time – Cass was certain if more humans had been like these twelve, the earth would never have experienced WWIII.

“The Grand Houses always remind me of a Vittorio Reggianini painting come to life – so opulent.” Sabine was impressed with Aubrey’s reference to the Italian painter.

Sabine spoke up. “You mean like the Regency era of Great Britain, only futuristic and with pastel hair?”

“Yes. You’re familiar with Reggianini then?” Aubrey was impressed.

“I am,” Sabine answered.

They shared a brief look of mutual appreciation before Cass continued.

“You know how Vulcans have a greenish tint to their skin because of their blood?” Adjoa and Sabine nodded. “Well, Naralian skin gives off a slight purplish undertone due to their violet blood.”

“Another shared trait between Naralians and Vulcans (and Terrans, for that matter) is the range of skin color and racial intermixing present in their species,” Aubrey looked at both girls. “Which means you two won’t have to worry. There are Naralians of every skin tone.”

With that said, Aubrey turned her attention back to landing the craft. The other three women continued to discuss Naralian culture until they got close enough to the surface, as which point, both Sabine and Adjoa fell silent, their eyes glued to the scenery of what they hoped would be their new home for the foreseeable future.

* * *

The first tasks Sabine and Adjoa set out to accomplish upon arriving on the planet were to acquire suitable clothing and then seek out a stylist to give them hair color appropriate to a Naralian. Neither would ever look fully Naralian – while Adjoa had the height and was thin for a human, her face was too wide. Likewise, Sabine’s face was easily identifiable as human, as was her diminutive height. And her curves precluded her from ever being described as willowy. But the clothing and hair color went a long way in helping both women blend in. They spent many hours observing Naralians walking on their PADDs, and both were able to master the gliding walk. Two weeks into their stay on Nara II, they each decided to have their irises dyed in a further effort to fit in. Adjoa chose a yellow onyx shade which complimented her green and lemon locks while Sabine opted for amethyst irises to go with the pinks, blues, and purples of her now-straightened hair.

Both women needed to find an occupation upon arrival. Cass and Aubrey had provided them with untraceable PADDs and communicators, and fake identities with the requisite documentation and certificates necessary for each woman to continue pursuing the careers they’d been preparing for at the Academy, if they so desired. The process of choosing what they wanted to do with their new freedom took longer than their respective make-overs. Nara II had eliminated poverty centuries earlier and credits were used almost solely in the Grand Houses. Everything else – food, shelter, any material needs – was provided freely. This allowed both women to take their time in choosing what they wanted to do. Initially, Sabine thought her choice was obvious – she would work for the local hospital in the town they’d chosen for their residence. But then she was approached by the head of one of the Grand Houses in town and asked if she would consider being their House Doctor. She agreed, intrigued by the opportunity to witness and participate in maintaining the safety of such an important part of Naralian culture.

For Adjoa, the possibilities were endless. She was a smart woman, previously an engineer both for the Resurrection program, and then at Starfleet Academy, where she had quietly risen to the top five of her engineering class. But she’d also met Shrax in the engineering program and she didn’t know if she felt like continuing to work in a field that held so many memories of the dead for her. Instead, she turned to teaching. It didn’t take long for her to receive certification from the Naralian Board of Education and then she was teaching math and science to Naralians in secondary school. The two friends found a flat together and settled into their new lives. Naralians were friendly to them, as they were to all species who chose to make a home on their planet but as humans, they were treated with a surplus of goodwill and affection. They didn’t understand why Naralians valued humans so highly but as they spent more time on the planet, and as Sabine learned more about the telepathic abilities of Naralians, it all became evident.


	62. Chapter 62

“Hold on – you’re tellin’ me you and Spock…are a thing?”

McCoy was sitting next to Nyota at the bar on the Enterprise. They’d just embarked for their year-long mission to survey uncontacted planets within the Alpha quadrant and the two friends were catching up with each other – something they hadn’t had the time to do during the Nero incident.

“I know it sounds strange but he’s not the cold computer you might think he is,” Uhura replied, taking a sip of her drink.

“If ya hafta tell me that, it means he’s too much of an unfeeling machine for comfort,” McCoy protested.

Uhura looked down. There was an element of truth to her friend’s comment.

“Does Jim know about this?” McCoy asked, his mind boggled at the idea of Nyota with that green-blooded elf.

“Yes. He saw us when I was saying goodbye to Spock before they transported to the Narada,” she answered guiltily.

“Talk about keepin’ a secret,” he grumbled.

“Oh, you’re one to talk!” she retorted. “What ever happened with that whole French thing?”

McCoy visibly shuddered and Uhura watched him astutely. She’d been worried about the doctor since they’d regrouped on the Enterprise for this year-long mission. They hadn’t had much time to talk to one another during the Nero incident but he’d appeared to handle that situation with his normal “cheery” outlook. But now, she sensed he was depressed and extra glum. That was why she’d asked him to meet her for drinks tonight. And she felt confident she’d just hit upon the cause of his funk. Whatever had happened, or not happened, regarding the language issue, it had left her friend upset.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said in a low, slightly menacing voice. “It’s not important.”

Nyota Uhura wasn’t scared of McCoy. There was nothing he could or would do to harm her. “Well, did you at least solve the mystery that had you so upset?”

He took a gulp of his bourbon and then looked over at his friend. “Nope. Never did find an answer. But honestly? It’s better that way.”

“That’s it? You’re not going to give me any details?” Uhura looked at the doctor with her best disappointed face.

“Yeah…that’s it. Trust me on this one, Ny.”

Something in his weary tone convinced the communications officer to leave him alone…for now.

“So…let’s talk about the rest of the senior officers,” she said conspiratorially to McCoy, elbowing him gently. “Except Spock – he’s off-limits.”

“You take the fun outta everything,” he growled, slurring just a little. They were each about four drinks in.

“What do you think about Sulu?” she persisted.

“Seems nice enough – not on your team though.”

“How do you know?”

“Heard him talking to his spouse the other day on his communicator. Unless Ben is now a female’s name, he’s team men,” McCoy replied.

“Well, Ben could be a female name in some cultures. But he’s from Earth and it doesn’t surprise me if he is gay. I like him,” Uhura replied. “He’s competent and seems friendly.”

“What about that infant next to him?”

“Chekov isn’t an infant – he’s just a teenager,” Uhura rebutted. “And he’s really sweet.”

“Sweet ain’t gonna save our asses in an emergency,” McCoy complained.

“He was pretty useful during the Nero incident,” Uhura pointed out.

“I can’t believe we got a damn 17-year old sitting on the bridge.”

“I can’t believe Jim is our captain. You’re telling me that doesn’t scare you more than a kid who may not be able to drink legally yet?” Uhura looked at McCoy closely. “I know you two were roommates and friends but seriously….”

McCoy sighed. “No, no…you’re right. We’re either all gonna die or this will be the most lauded ship Starfleet ever sent out.”

“Or he’s gonna give the entire crew herpes. Guess who I saw leaving his quarters this morning?” Uhura didn’t give McCoy time to answer. “Chapel!”

“Wait – Nurse Chapel? Christine?” McCoy was apoplectic. What about all her talk during the Nero incident? Good God, all that idiot had to do was flash his baby blues at a woman and boom! There went any sense or dignity.

“Yep.”

“Goddammit. He can’t sleep with my nurses. I’m short-staffed as it is.” McCoy thought for a second. “Hey! How’d you see that? Your quarters aren’t near Jim’s…”

“No, but Spock’s are. I ran into her as I was leaving Spock.”

McCoy gave Uhura a shrewd look. “So she saw you as well?”

Uhura nodded, a blush creeping over her face.

“Well, how ‘bout that. You’re ratting her out to me – wonder who she’s tellin’ about you?”

Nyota shifted uncomfortably in her chair. “Point taken,” she said penitently. The two friends remained quiet for a moment.

“Well, if we aren’t gonna gossip, we might as well do shots,” McCoy muttered, motioning the bartender over their way.

“I can’t,” Uhura said apologetically. “I’m on early tomorrow morning and I’ve already had too much to drink.” She stood up to leave.

“Take care of yourself,” she gushed, hugging McCoy in a rare display of emotion. “It was good to see you. Let’s do this again soon!”

“Okay, sure,” he responded gruffly, unsure of how to handle such an infrequent burst on her part. He wondered if it was because she spent so much time with that microchip of a boyfriend. “Probably has to get her emotions out when she can,” he thought drunkenly.

Alone at the bar, he asked for another bourbon. Who did shots by themselves after all? His communicator pinged and he looked down at it.

_Hey boys, how’s it going? Got time for your favorite Betazoid? The Enterprise popped up on our scanners and I thought a reunion might be in order. Let me know._

Cass had pinged both himself and Jim. He smiled. It would be nice to see her again. He’d heard rumors that she’d blown off the Academy but hadn’t realized they were true till now. It’d be nice to see her again. Cass was always good for a laugh, usually at Jim’s expense. And McCoy could use all the laughs he could get. He’d been struggling to get out of a funk for a couple of months now.


	63. Chapter 63

“Cass!”

“Jim! Bones!”

The Betazoid bounced over to her friends in the shuttle bay and hugged each man fiercely, laughing at how happy she was to see them both again. Meanwhile Aubrey eyed the engineers standing by her ship warily. Yeah, she realized her craft was small – apparently, the same size as the Enterprise’s shuttles, Galileo, Columbus, and Copernicus. But that didn’t mean she’d take kindly to a bunch of idiots in red shirts telling her what she could do with her own vessel. She knew that ship like the back of her hand and she’d as soon kick those idiots in the nads before she’d listen to advice from them.

“Well now, is that a class three light cruiser?” asked a voice appreciatively with a thick Scottish accent behind her. She turned.

“Yes, it is,” she replied, still wary.

“Ach, I haven’t seen one of these beauties in a long time. She’s got an ion engine, aye?”

“She does,” Aubrey answered, warming up to the man. Anyone who could appreciate her baby was okay in her book. “But I’ve made some modifications.”

“Tell me more, lass,” the man encouraged her. “By the way, I’m Montgomery Scott – Scotty. I’m the chief engineer for the Enterprise.”

Aubrey raised her eyebrows. “Chief engineer, huh?” He nodded enthusiastically, and like that, Aubrey decided Cass had been right to insist on a brief stay aboard the Enterprise. Any constitution class starship whose chief engineer was excited over her beloved bucket of bolts was okay in her book.

“I’m Aubrey,” she replied, omitting the troublesome last name. They shook hands and went back to admiring her tiny ship.

“’Sa pleasure, Aubrey. Now tell me all about your modifications,” they moved towards her cruiser and Scotty looked over at the engineers standing beside it, looking at it with disdain. “All of you, get back to work,” he called out to the red shirts. Oh yeah, she was gonna like it here.

* * *

“Okay, what about sadness?”

Cass and Aubrey exchanged looks.

“Well, it depends on the reason for the sadness but it’s usually a blueish color,” Cass replied.

The sisters were dining with Jim, Bones, Spock, Uhura, Scotty, Chekov, and Sulu. For the past forty five minutes, the conversation had centered on what Aubrey and Cass were capable of as telepaths and how their skills differed from those of Spock and other Vulcans. Jim looked over at Cass with a look of devilish glee.

“You should tell ‘em about how you can manipulate minds,” he prodded.

“Captain, the ability to manipulate another’s mind is not unique to Betazoids. It is something all telepaths possess.” Spock raised an eyebrow after finishing.

“Yeah, well, the rest of you might be able to do it, but we perfected it,” Aubrey shot back. She liked ruffling this Spock guy’s feathers. He gave her what would have looked like a very bland expression on the face of any other person in the room, but, for a Vulcan, was a look of supreme annoyance. Aubrey stifled a giggle.

“So you can make other people do things via telepathy?” Sulu asked, intrigued.

“Yep,” Aubrey replied. “It’s part of what’s made me so good at my job.”

“I would hardly consider being a criminal a job.” Spock had been vociferous with Jim about his objections to allowing the Betazoids on board and even though he’d been overruled, he was sure to remind both of them he didn’t trust them in the slightest. Neither sister appeared very bothered by his reaction.

“Hey, it pays the bills,” Cass replied with a good-natured shrug. She shared a smile with Jim and Bones. It was good to see them both again.

“I would like to know more about how this manipulation works,” Chekov interjected. Uhura and Sulu both nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, give us an example.”

Aubrey looked at Cass and gave her younger sis a shrug of her shoulders. These were Cass’s friends and she’d let Cass take the lead. Besides, she and Scotty had been enjoying a nice Scotch through dinner and it had left her in no place to attempt any kind of mind games.

Cass looked around the table. “Who wants to be my volunteer?”

Bones was first to reply. “Absolutely not it.” Cass turned to look at Jim.

“You are the one who brought it up,” she cajoled.

“Captain, I do not recommend this course of action,” Spock said, as alarmed as a Vulcan could sound.

“Calm down, Spock,” Jim replied. “It’ll be fine. Right?” He looked to Cass for assurance.

“Oh yeah,” she responded. “Totally fine.” When Jim wasn’t looking she shook her head at everyone else and mouthed, “Not fine at all!”

Cass looked at Jim and her eyes changed to black. Unlike Cass, Aubrey looked more traditionally Betazoid – her eyes were always black, making it harder to tell when she was using her powers. But Cass took after their father: fair-skinned, blond-haired, and blue-eyed. Once she’d reached out to Jim, she spoke to the group.

“Okay, guys. What should I make Jim do?”

“Not sleep with all my goddamn nurses.”

“C’mon, I’m just a telepath, not a miracle worker.”

“Make him speak with Chekov’s accent!”

“That I can do.”

Jim was in a trancelike state while everyone conversed. Cass centered her energies on the area of his brain where languages resided.

“Did you know,” Jim began speaking, almost a perfect mimic of Chekov, “the saying “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me” was inwented in Russia?”

Besides Spock, who silently raised an eyebrow, the table erupted into laughter, with even poor Chekov joining in.

“I don’t really sound like that, do I?” he asked as the laughter ebbed and that prompted a fresh wave of giggles.

“What next?” Cass asked once everyone had settled down.

“Make him cluck like a chicken,” Uhura replied devilishly, despite her boyfriend’s misgivings.

“Okay, one chicken coming up.”

Suddenly, Jim stood, tucked his arms in at the elbow and began sauntering around the room with his eyes to the ground. His head bobbed up and down and he emitted such realistic chicken noises that even McCoy had to look to ensure they were actually coming from the captain’s mouth and not an actual chicken. With his legs, he occasionally scratched at the floor, looking for seed. The table was beside itself with laughter.

“I think that’s enough for tonight,” Cass announced once the guffaws died down. Her eyes returned to their normal color and Jim instantly stopped clucking.

“What the fuck just happened?” he asked, confused as to why he was standing across the room, his arms flapping about as though he were in the middle of the Chicken Dance. Everyone laughed.

McCoy and Cass shared a long look.

“You just made my night – possibly my life,” he said in a hushed tone, leaning towards her.

“Well, if I’d known it was that easy to get a smile out of you, I woulda made him start clucking long ago,” Cass responded, leaning towards him.

Aubrey watched the two friends with a worried furrow in her brow.

* * *

A couple of days later, the sisters were onboard the cruiser again, leaving the Enterprise shuttle bay. Aubrey looked over at Cass.

“You’re such a hypocrite.”

Cass looked over at her sister in surprise. “What’re you talking about?”

“You sat right there in that seat and lectured me about flirting with Sabine and yet you just spent the last several days shamelessly flirting with her ex-boyfriend….unless you’re gonna tell me there’s another Doctor McCoy on another Enterprise.”

Cass sputtered for a moment before answering indignantly. “I was not flirting! Bones and I are friends – I knew him long before he and Sabine started dating and I’ve always treated him like that.”

“Bullshit,” Aubrey snorted, giving her sister a frank look. Cass tried to hold her gaze but looked away, red and ashamed.

“Wait,” Aubrey said slowly, as the implications of what her sister had said hit her. “You’ve had a crush on him from the start.”

“Not true,” Cass muttered.

“Absolutely true,” Aubrey countered. “Does Sabine know?”

“No! And it’s gonna stay that way,” Cass was almost savage in her response. Aubrey gave her sister a look.

“I’m not saying shit. But this whole situation has disaster written all over it.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re flirting with a man who hates his ex because he thinks she cheated on him. You’re best friends with said ex and you know how much she loves him. You also know she never cheated on him but you can’t tell him that. If I were you, I’d stay the hell out of it,” Aubrey paused as Cass took her words in. “You’re playing with fire right now, lil sis.”

“Great. Now I’m gonna take advice on morality from you?” Cass was defensive.

“Sure, I might sleep with anyone once, but the one thing I don’t do? I don’t fuck with my friend’s partners,” Aubrey replied.

The two girls sat in grim silence after that, each lost in their own thoughts.

“I’m not gonna sleep with Bones,” Cass said softly. And she meant it. As wonderful as it had been to see both him and Jim again, Cass couldn’t fathom a reality in which she’d let herself sleep with the attractive doctor, no matter how much she may have wanted it at some point. He belonged with Sabine…and even if they never found a way back to one another, Cass sure wasn’t going to be a factor in keeping them apart.

“Okay,” Aubrey answered, her doubt dripping off the word.

“I’m serious!” Cass replied angrily. “I’d never do that to Sabine.”

“Good,” Aubrey answered vehemently. “She deserves better than that. They both do.”

The sisters settled into an uncomfortable quiet for the rest of their journey away from the Enterprise.


	64. Chapter 64

“You’re one of the last people I thought I’d hear from,” Cass said to the Betazoid sitting across from her.

It was four months after Cass and the Resurrection IV crew had fled Earth and Section 31. Everyone was still safely hidden, though there had been several close calls as Section agents scoured the quadrant looking for the errant cadets. But at this moment, Cass was grabbing a drink with Agent Varik, who insisted she call him by his first name, Ibol. Cass had never given much thought to Agent Varik – he was harmless enough – a company man, but not one who would ever find himself embroiled in the darker side of Section 31. Admiral Marcus was never going to ask Agent Varik to assist in the Botany Bay project. He’d been lucky to be assigned to the Resurrection project and that had been by the sheer fortuitousness of his abilities as a telepath trainer on Betazed.

A week after Cass and the gang had dropped off the radar, Varik had reached out to her. Since escaping, Cass had no plans of responding to anyone from Section 31 and her immediate reaction to the pinch she felt from Varik had been to dismiss it. But he kept persisting and finally sent her an untraceable comm link explaining he had no intention of revealing her location to the Section but that he wished to communicate with her. He claimed to have information she may find useful. She was intrigued.

“Well, I’m glad you finally agreed to meet me. I wasn’t sure you’d ever trust me enough to do this,” he replied.

“Yeah, in fairness, I should warn you. One wrong move, and there are four different trained killers in here, ready to take you out. So no tricks, okay?” Cass wasn’t kidding. She wouldn’t take any chances with her safety or that of the Resurrection gang and the advantage of having an outlaw for a sister was ready access to all sorts of nefarious (though kind and fun) assassins, snipers, hired phasers, and the like.

Ibol raised his eyebrows at Cass and gulped. “I told you, I’m not here as a part of Section 31. To be honest, I never liked how they treated the Resurrection crew.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Like with the extra classes, and the assumption that they belonged to the Section. It never sat right with me. That’s part of why I never said anything when you and Sabine started sneaking extra trainings into our sessions.”

Cass’s eyes snapped up in surprise as she evaluated the man in front of her.

“You knew?” she asked in stunned awe.

“Of course. You’re a good telepath, but come on. I knew something extra was happening. I could feel the closed parts of both your minds. I don’t know what you two were doing, but I knew something was up. I never said anything because I figured you had a plan and I was hoping you’d share it with me at some point.”

Cass was looking at Varik with a new appreciation.

“Sorry I never shared it with you,” she said quietly.

“It’s okay. I mean, you guys made it out. That’s what matters, right?”

“Yeah,” she agreed, stopping to collect her thoughts before speaking again. “Why are you here, Ibol? What’s this information you wanted to share?”  She was happy he’d never ratted her out, even as they’d both been reprimanded for ‘not knowing’ Sabine had grown more powerful, but she wondered what had made him reach out to her and persist in doing so till she agreed to meet.

“Look, I’m sure you know they’re searching for you – all of you – pretty intensely right now. Marcus has made it one of the San Francisco office’s top priorities.”

“Yeah, I’m aware of the manhunt,” Cass replied, almost bored.

“Okay, well, I got a hold of a report made to Marcus a few days after you all disappeared.” He hesitated a moment and Cass raised her eyebrows at him, prompting him to continue.

“The senior command officers of the Enterprise were called into a routine leadership training at Daystrom a few days before they left for their year-long exploratory mission.” He paused again, and Cass could feel his uncertainty. She realized he wasn’t sure he could trust her with what he had to share.

“You’re the one who wanted to meet with me,” she said gently. “Why are you now so reluctant to talk?”

“Sorry. I guess it’s a hazard of working for the Section,” he answered meekly. “I know they’re after you…It just occurred to me that maybe this is a double-cross and if I give you the information I will only be playing into Marcus’s hands.”

“You won’t,” she assured him, opening a connection so he could see her feelings. “I wouldn’t share anything with Marcus if my life depended on it. I don’t blame you for questioning everything but you have to trust that I left Section 31 and they are legitimately chasing not just the Resurrection crew, but myself as well. Now what does a meeting with the Enterprise crew have to do with us?”

Her honesty convinced him.

“I’m not sure,” he replied. “But in that meeting, two telepathic agents were disguised as security. They were there to read Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy.”

Now they were getting somewhere. Cass leaned forward.

“And what did they find?”

“Whatever they found, it wasn’t what Marcus wanted. The report detailed all memories and feelings both Kirk and McCoy had regarding Sabine. And after Marcus received the report, he was, according to an agent who was there, outraged.”

“Because he expected to get information about her whereabouts from them.”

“Exactly.”

Cass and Varik shared an approving look. They had both surprised one another during the conversation. Cass realized she’d seriously underestimated him in the two years they’d worked together and Varik understood that she’d gone to great lengths to ensure the safety of the Resurrection crew.

“I want to help you,” Varik spoke suddenly.

“How so?” Cass asked.

“I’m not assigned to the recovery mission so I won’t be able to share everything with you, but the information I come across, I’m willing to pass along to you.”

“That’s…that’s a really decent thing to offer but why are you doing this? I don’t have to tell you if they find me, they aren’t bringing me in alive. Why would you risk getting caught helping me? They won’t just slap your hand if they find out.”

Cass was skeptical and kept her face passive as she spoke. Maybe this was a trap after all. He looked at her and she picked up on a surprising emotion as he replied.

“It’s the right thing to do. I believe in you – if you felt like there was a reason for everyone to drop off the radar, then I want to do what I can to help.”

As he spoke earnestly, she zeroed in on the emotion and her expression softened. He had feelings for her. Deep ones and they were strong enough that he couldn’t completely mask them, even though he was doing his best. She smiled in compassion.

“I understand,” she said, with a lift of her eyebrows that told him she’d picked up on what he’d been trying to hide. He turned red as she held his gaze. “You know I can’t promise anything right now – I’m in no state to start something and I’ve never even thought of you that way.” He looked down, ashamed of being so easily read.

“I’d do it even if I didn’t feel this way,” he protested, his voice barely above a whisper. “Whatever caused you to go off the grid, I wanna make sure you stay there if that’s what you need.”

“Even if I’m a huge jackass who doesn’t do relationships and has a hard time remembering to be nice – like, I’m not even good at saying ‘thank you,’ let alone ‘I love you.’”

“You’re acting like I didn’t work with you for two years. You think I don’t know how much of an asshole you can be? I’m not here to woo you. I wanna keep you and the Resurrection crew safe. Any feelings I have for you are my own problem.”

They smiled at each other. Cass wondered why she’d never given Varik more of a chance. Maybe because she was tired and jaded by the time they’d met and he’d just been another faceless agent. There had been too many of them through the years.

“Okay, I’ll accept the offer. But don’t do anything that’ll arouse suspicion. If you hear something, great. If not, that’s fine too.”

Varik’s face lit up.

“Seriously?” He wasn’t sure he’d heard her right – of course he had but he’d been certain she’d refuse him, either out of suspicion or pity for his feelings.

“Yeah, seriously. Why’re you looking at me like I just made your day? I’ve just put your life at risk, buddy. You probably ought to run out of here and forget you ever knew me.”

“Yeah, well don’t erase my memories again, okay?”

Now it was her turn to blush.

“You figured it out?”

“Yep. I’m guessing you woulda done a better job if you hadn’t been dealing with Sabine freaking out at the same time.”

“It certainly wasn’t my finest work,” Cass grumbled. Regardless of anything else she took from today’s meeting with Varik, she was definitely feeling a lot more humble about her abilities as a telepath. He picked up on her self-doubt.

“Hey, don’t be put out. You know how hard it is to fool another telepath, and especially a fellow Betazoid. The fact it took me as long as it did to figure it out proves you did some pretty impressive work on the fly.”

“Ah, don’t go flirting with me like that,” Cass teased her former partner. “Flattery will get you everywhere but my pants.”

“It’s your unassuming and timid nature that makes you so attractive,” he shot back, grinning.

“Obviously,” she replied wryly.

The two former colleagues talked for another half hour before parting ways. Cass was glad she’d finally decided to meet with Varik. He’d given her some useful data regarding the success of the memory erasures and replacements in both Jim and Bones. And the idea that he’d continue to share Section 31 knowledge with her was especially appealing. She didn’t know what the future might hold for them; he was cute enough but she knew a one-night stand kind of thing would only hurt him. For now, he’d just have to accept occasional contact via comms or reaching out. Cass had never seen herself ending up with anyone, but especially not another Betazoid or human. For his part, Ibol Varik was relieved Cass was exactly who he believed her to be – someone who’d risked her life to keep others from…something…harm? Probably, given that Marcus was involved. Varik had never liked the man. His empathetic side recoiled anytime he was in the same room as the Admiral. Further, Varik was glad Cass hadn’t shunned him or tried to sleep with him as a move of pity or gratitude. He didn’t want to be a one-time thing for her and certainly didn’t want her to cut off contact now that they’d finally reconnected. He knew all about Cass’s fickleness regarding men and her hesitancy to commit. He didn’t want anything from her right now but her agreement to let him help her cause. If anything were ever to develop between the two of them, Ibol knew it would take time and patience….and for her to be able to settle down (as much as that phrase could ever to someone like Cass) rather than living on the run.


	65. Chapter 65

Mía was the first Resurrection crew member to get caught by Section 31. When Ibol saw the report, he cursed internally and reached out to Cass. It took her a few hours but she got back to him.

Hey, what’s going on?

_The Section pulled in one of the Resurrection crew._

Oh shit. Who?

_Mía. They’ve got her in interrogation right now. Agent Tapper’s in with them._

Tapper was the same agent Sabine had bludgeoned with a glass pitcher during her calamitous meeting with Admiral Marcus.

Goddammit. They’re not gonna get anything out of her. 

_Well, you know that but they don’t._

Do you know where they’re keeping her?

_Marcus has her set up in a place on campus – they’re trying to lure her in with “kindness.”_

Ha! That man wouldn’t know kindness if it punched him in the face.

_You might wanna work on that expression._

Blow me.

_That one’s not so bad but it works better if I say it…and you agree._

Cass smiled in spite of herself. She’d come to look forward to reach outs with Varik. She could flirt with him without any guilt and he was a good sparring partner. Unfortunately, she didn’t have time right now to engage in double entendres and innuendo.

Look, can you get me specifics on which dorm they’ve got her in? 

_Yeah. You should know too – I think they’re drugging her._

Of course they are. Fucking creeps. Thanks for this.

  _Anytime._

Blow you later, buddy.

Cass cut the connection off before Varik could respond. She liked getting the last word in and it meant he’d be ready with something witty the next time they reached. She had been a bit tied-up when Varik contacted her – literally. The Pike sisters had run afoul of Orion pirates and in their efforts to escape, Cass had been captured. She’d been patiently awaiting her sister’s promised rescue attempt when Ibol had pinched her. She waited a few more hours till impatience got the best of her and she reached out to Varik to keep from telepathically screaming all manner of angry epithets at her perpetually-late sister. A couple of days later, Aubrey not only rescued her, but also set free all the slaves on the pirate vessel…and still managed to sleep with one of the pirates. Aubrey was nothing if not an efficient multi-tasker.

By then, two other Resurrection crew members had been brought in because it turned out those damn kids were horrible at following directions. Cass had told everyone not to contact one another…so of course, they all ran out and started PADDing each other. Through telepathic readings, Mía had revealed John’s location and John had revealed Anthony’s location. Cass was so mad, she almost felt like letting them stay forever imprisoned by Section 31. But who knew what Anthony would give away in his interrogation. And so, Cass and Aubrey found themselves heading back to Earth to rescue the three Resurrection crew members. Cass reached out to Sabine along the way.

Did you know your idiot friends all ignored my advice and told each other where they were living? 

_Mmm, hello to you too. What are you talking about?_

I’m talking about Mía, Anthony, and John all being captured by Section 31 because you fucknuts can’t keep your mouths shut. 

_What? I do not believe it._

You better. Aubrey and I are on our way back to Earth right now to break them out. 

_Cass, I am sorry. I promise you, I have not talked to anyone and nor has anyone messaged me._

Well, I don’t wanna know what that says about you that you’re the only one not receiving communications between crew members.

_Do not be mean._

I’ll be what I want. Stay safe. If I have to crack another one of you out, I’m gonna let you all rot in Section 31 hell.

_Now you are just trying to make me mad._

Not as mad as I am already.

Cass and Aubrey had the element of surprise on their side – no one was expecting them to free the three crew members. But even with that advantage, Cass still took a phaser shot to her arm in the rescue attempt. Once all three crew members were back on Aubrey’s ship, Cass set into them.

“The fuck were you guys thinking?”

The three friends looked at each other guiltily.

“I did not tell them anything,” Mía protested. “How they found John is beyond me…”

“Don’t be stupid. I’m not the only telepath to work for Section 31. They read you, dummy.”

“But I did not feel anything!”

“Me either,” John chimed in. Cass glared at both of them.

“If they don’t want you to feel it, you won’t feel it. They aren’t like Sabine – they actually know what they’re doing telepathically. God, guys, why are you incapable of following simple directions?”

“We missed each other,” John said simply.

“And we wanted to make sure we were all still safe,” Anthony added.

“We didn’t reach out to Sabine so we kept them from getting what they really wanted,” Mía added, as though they’d done something right. Cass had to fight from exploding at them.

“You do realize they probably took samples from each of you while you were passed out, right? And for you two,” Cass pointed her finger at John and Anthony, “that’s almost as good as them getting Sabine. It’s just a hop, skip, and a jump from sample to clone with those assholes.” She glared at all three former cadets, letting the gravity of what she’d said sink in.

“Jesus, guys,” Cass sighed defeatedly. “Can you not break every rule we set?”

“Sorry Cass,” three forlorn voices replied.

“So, where do we dump them now?” Aubrey asked from the front of the craft.

“We’ll get to that in a minute,” Cass replied. She turned back to the three people sitting before her. “How many of you know where one another is?” They looked at each other uncertainly.

“I don’t know,” John replied. “I only knew where Mía and Anthony were.”

“I only knew where John was,” Mía added.

“I didn’t know where anyone else was,” Anthony replied. “I only knew how to contact people via PADD. John’s the one person I gave my location to.”

“So maybe I won’t have to come back and clean up another mess,” Cass said, half-grateful to find the problem contained and half-dubious that it would be so simple. Her arm was killing her. She laid down across three seats and closed her eyes. “Try to keep yourselves out of trouble for the next hour or so,” she muttered before passing out.

* * *

When she woke up, Cass was in a medical bed…where? Where the hell was she? She looked around worriedly. Who were these people? Where was Aubrey? And Mía, John, and Anthony? She looked down at her arm. Any trace of the phaser burn was gone. It felt good too. Like nothing had ever happened. But still, she was in a strange place. She moved to sit up and threw her legs over the bed.

“Oh no you don’t,” a familiar voice called out. “You stay put.”

“Bones!” She was relieved. If Bones was squawking at her, chances were good she was on the Enterprise.

“Take it easy there,” he replied, effortlessly sweeping her legs up and back onto the bed. “You need to rest. That phaser wound was the real deal,” he groused. “I don’t even want to know how you got it.”

So he didn’t have any idea about the Resurrection crew mates. Cass gave him her best nonchalant look. “You know me. Always getting into trouble,” she said innocently. She needed to find Aubrey.

“Yeah, I know you alright, even if I wished I didn’t. Can’t imagine what the two of you stole this time to end up lookin’ so rough.”

“You always know exactly what to say to make a girl feel pretty,” Cass replied. Bones rolled his eyes.

“You stay there till I tell you otherwise,” he grumbled. “I got other patients to attend to so no funny business.”

“Yes sir,” Cass said, giving him an exaggerated salute. He shook his head and turned away, muttering. Cass grinned to herself. She reached out to Aubrey.

Where are you?

_You’re awake! How ya feelin’?_

Better. But I don’t sense you here. 

_Yep. Cuz I’m not there. I had you beamed aboard the Enterprise when I realized they were close enough to us. You were losing blood fast and needed a good doctor. Speaking of which…_

Don’t worry. As soon as he clears me, I’m out of here. No bad behavior, I promise.

_Good girl._

So where are you? Do you still have John, Mía, and Anthony?

_I’m in the Vulcan system, not far from Delta Vega. I’ve situated Mía and Anthony and I’m getting ready to drop John off on Andoria. I’ll be by to pick you up afterwards, okay? So get well and no hanky-panky._

The girls closed the connection and Cass calculated that she had at least three days ahead of her on the Enterprise before Aubrey would be within range to beam her aboard the cruiser. Three days to behave. She could do this.

* * *

Two days later, Cass and Bones were sitting across from one another in the ship’s bar. They’d had….a lot to drink. No one could keep count at this point. Jim had been with them for the first couple of hours but he had wisely bowed out before things got too sloppy.

“It’s not like that,” Cass protested, her words only slightly garbled by drink.

“Then what IS it like?” Bones asked, skeptical as always.

“You ever read any old English folklore? Woulda been fresh off the presses when you were a kid,” Her question threw him off and he ignored the jibe about how old he was.

“I…huh…maybe? Like what?”

“Robin Hood? The guy who hid in the forests and stole from the rich to give to the poor?”

Bones nodded. He was pretty sure he knew who she was talking about.

“So you two take from the bad guys and give to the good?” He cocked his eyebrow at her.

“Something like that,” she responded vaguely. The less she said about what she and Aubrey were up to, the better. Time for a change of subject. “And what about you? You enjoying this space adventure Jim’s got you on?”

McCoy snorted. “God, no. We’re all gonna end up dead,” he complained.

“Or even worse,” Cass whispered devilishly. “You’ll end up with so many accolades, they’ll send you out again for a longer mission. Hopefully, you’ll still be around for that, ya old geyser.” She rubbed her hands together gleefully. Cass had been teasing Bones about being old all evening.

“No chance of that with Jim in charge,” Bones grumbled, ignoring yet another jab at his age. “That man only learns rules so he can break ‘em.”

“That’s why we’re such good friends,” Cass replied.

“Then how the hell did I get tied up with you ruffians?” His voice was grumpy but his eyes were dancing…or maybe she just had a case of the spins? Hard to tell.

“’Cause, deep down, you love it, old man,” Cass goaded the good doctor. “You’ll never admit it, but you enjoy having a reason to bitch and you’d miss us if we weren’t around.” She stuck her tongue out at McCoy for good measure.

“Careful,” he responded, a wicked gleam in his eye. “You sass me again about my age and I’ll do like any good grandpa and take you over my knee.”

“I might like that, you senile codger,” she grinned at him. Some part of her knew they were flirting but the larger, drunker part didn’t care.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said to her in a low voice.

She pouted. “It’s too early to end the evening.”

“I didn’t say goodnight – all I said was we should move this party elsewhere.” If she had missed his innuendo the first time around, she certainly didn’t miss it now. Cass gulped. This was a bad idea. Standing was gonna be enough of a challenge – she was in no condition to go to bed with anyone, especially the man making eyes at her across the table. Cass remembered Sabine and how heartbroken the other woman had been when they had left Earth. Nope. She was not going to accept his offer.

“I can’t do this, cowboy,” she sighed as she tried to gracefully rise from her seat. She stood without any apparent effort but inside her head, the room was spinning and she thought she might tip over if she moved.

“You sure?” he growled as he moved closer to her. Cass didn’t have the coordination to dodge him but she could manipulate his mind. So she reached out and stopped him. He froze midway to her.

“Sorry, but I said no and I meant it,” she said to him firmly. “Let’s call it a night before we do something we’ll both end up regretting.” She removed herself from his mind and he blinked a few times as he regained his faculties.

“I must be more drunk than I thought I was,” he mumbled, looking over at her. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I’m good. But I’m ready to turn in, if that’s okay.”

“I think that’s probably a good idea,” he replied.

* * *

The next morning, Cass stretched out in her bed, a jumble of emotions tumbling around inside her. She knew she’d done the right thing, saying no to Bones. But there was a part of her that had considered saying yes. From a purely selfish standpoint, Bones was never going to be exactly what she wanted. There was something intangible missing. A tenderness – no, THE tenderness – the love she’d seen him give without thinking to Sabine on countless occasions – the hand on the back in the club – the pride that snuck into his voice back when he would talk about Sabine with her and Jim – the way he followed Sabine with his eyes around any room they were in – how he lit up when he saw her after a long day apart – these were the subtle things she didn’t think he’d ever give her. Cass could only imagine what Bones would be like if he loved her. As much fun as they’d had over the time she’d known him, she was never going to be the love of his life. If she let him sleep with her, she’d regret it. Cass felt the absence of emotion from him palpably. They might enjoy some good times in bed but they were not imzadis…and what she wanted was an imzadi. It wasn’t lost on her that Varik could fulfill many of the desires she had. But when would they have the chance to see one another again? As long as he was on Earth, working for Section 31, helping to protect her and the Resurrection crew, their only contact would be reaching out to one another and that wasn’t the best way to grow a relationship.

She rolled over and grabbed her communicator. There was a message from Bones.

_Not sure if you’re feeling as shitty as I am, but if you are, meet me in my office._

Cass smiled. They could still be friends. And she did have a pounding headache. Might as well get an anti-hangover hypo. But what she found when she made it to med bay was even better. In addition to hypos, the smell of genuine coffee filled his office.

As she sat down on the couch across from his desk, McCoy handed Cass a cup of coffee – real coffee.

“Where’d you get this?” she gasped, cradling the cup in both hands while savoring the smell and taste of actual coffee.

“I brought my own coffee-maker on-board,” he replied, gesturing to the machine behind him on a shelf. “Told Jim it was the only way he could get me back on this damnable ship,” McCoy gave her a wry half-smile. “Didn’t expect him to call my bluff but not only did he say yes to the machine, he provided a year’s worth of real coffee beans to me – good ones too.”

“He musta wanted you to stay pretty bad,” Cass commented, still luxuriating in the taste of a really good cup of coffee.

“Someone’s gotta keep him in line even if it means suffering through this damn mission.”

“Oh stop. Secretly, you love it out here,” she said knowingly.

“Stay outta my head,” he grumbled.

“I’m not in there,” she replied. “I can see your emotions radiating off of you and contentment is a nice pinkish color. You’re content, Bones.”

He looked at her thoughtfully. “It’s so strange, the whole emotions/color thing. Like synesthesia but for telepaths.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re dodging the point. You like it here.”

“Maybe I do – as much as I like anything. Or maybe I’m just content because there’s a beautiful woman in my office,” Bones started to grin at Cass but his expression turned rapidly as he was gripped by a sharp headache. From deep in his mind, a hazy snippet of conversation bubbled up:

_I don’t want to overstep our agreement regarding sex. There’s a beautiful woman in my bed practically begging me with her thoughts to fuck her brains out._

Mmmm, such a way with words… But you should absolutely fuck my brains out.

It was fading before he could figure out whether it had been a dream or reality…but of course it wasn’t real. He and Sabine had never gone all the way. Why was he thinking of her at all? McCoy sucked in his breath as the pain seared through him. A moment later it had passed. He looked over at a concerned Cass.

“What was that?” she asked cautiously. Cass was pretty sure she knew exactly what it was.

“Just a headache,” he replied. “Those happen when you drink your weight in bourbon.”

“Not buying it,” Cass argued firmly. “I know what a hangover looks like – that wasn’t just a hangover headache. Do you get those often?”

He looked over to see her studying him intently and he sighed.

“Yeah, I get ‘em every now and then.”

“What triggers them?”

“I don’t know,” he answered somewhat irritably.

“Doctors make the worst patients,” Cass muttered.

“I’m not your patient,” he groused.

“Sorry I pointed out how difficult you are,” She stuck her tongue out at him. “I just wondered if you’d noticed a common factor in your headaches.”

“Common factor? Like what?”

“Like are they triggered by a phrase or something,” Cass knew she needed to tread lightly – she couldn’t tell him why he was getting the headaches and if she poked at him too much, she might undo all of Sabine’s hard work.

McCoy thought about it before responding. “Not a common phrase but they seem to be accompanied by a sense of déjà vu.” He looked at her and shrugged his shoulders. “I know that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I’ll hear something or say something and feel this rush that I’ve experienced the whole thing before – then boom – most painful headaches I’ve ever had.”

Cass trained her face to reveal nothing. “Dude, that sucks. You should see a doctor,” she added with an insolent grin.

“Very funny,” he muttered. “I’ve already had myself scanned a couple of times – nothing comes up. Maybe I’m just getting old,” he mused, a grin fighting to surface.

Cass let her own grin spread over her face when both of them heard a ping. It was Cass’s communicator but when she reached in her pants pocket for it, she found nothing. She looked over to McCoy and saw her communicator on his desk.

“How the fuck did my communicator end up there?” she wondered, looking at the device and at McCoy as he reached out lazily to grab it.

“You set it down on my desk when you got here – are you still drunk? If so, that anti-hangover hypo isn’t gonna do a damn thing for ya.”

“Whatever,” she shot back, holding her hand out to take her communicator. But he didn’t hand it over. Instead he looked down at it and scowled briefly.

“What’s the magic word?” he taunted her as the device continued to ping.

“Gimme my damn communicator?”

“Try again.”

“Gimme my damn communicator right now?”

“One more time.”

“Gimme my damn communicator before I telepathically manipulate you into thinking you’re a giraffe?”

“That’ll do,” he replied, tossing the device to her. Cass looked down at it. Of course – it was Sabine. No wonder he’d frowned.

“You two still friends, huh?” he asked her as she silenced the device.

“Yeah, what of it?” Cass replied defiantly.

“She tell you what happened between us?” he asked, simultaneously defensive and aggressive.

Cass sighed. “Yes, she did. And I’m disappointed in her,” she responded.

“Disappointed? What are you? Her mother?”

“What do you want me to say, Bones? It was a horrible thing to do. She made a terrible decision. But it was a mistake. A one-time thing.”

He snorted. “One time thing, huh? What about how she told me we couldn’t sleep together because of her ‘abilities?’” He used air quotes to designate exactly what he thought of Sabine’s supposed mental powers. Cass regretted ever coming to his office. This was not a conversation she wanted to have this early after a night of drinking.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” Cass retorted. “Am I supposed to stop being her friend because she screwed you over? Is that what you want?”

“What if it is?”

“Sorry, that’s not gonna happen. But what I can agree to is to keep her out of our conversations. Will you accept that?”

He stared hard at her. Cass didn’t blink, didn’t move. She wasn’t going to let him intimidate her. She knew all about his grumpy façade. He blinked and looked away. She knew he was still pissed but she’d held her ground and they both knew he’d as well as conceded to her by looking away.

“See you later?” she asked, as she stood to leave.

“When’s Aubrey picking you up?”

“Not sure. Probably tomorrow?”

“Let’s get dinner before then.”

“Deal,” she replied, standing up and heading for the door to med bay. “Make sure you stretch for your shift,” she said, smiling at him over her shoulder. He gave her a confused look. “Wouldn’t want you pulling a muscle or cramping up mid-shift, grandpa.”

He shot her a dirty look and she laughed as she left his office. But her laughter died as she made it to her own room. Once inside, surrounded by silence, the weight of their conversation began to sink in. McCoy’s headaches were a worrisome detail. She knew the headaches were a symptom of the memory overlay Sabine had done. When a repressed memory was triggered, he would get a headache. If he thought about the causes of his headaches enough, he might uncover the hidden memories. And once Bones remembered that Sabine hadn’t actually cheated on him…that Cass knew the truth all along…he’d be angry with her for not telling him the truth – she hoped he’d let her explain that she couldn’t tell him – he had to figure it out on his own. In the meantime, she needed to navigate being his friend at the same time as being Sabine’s friend. She sighed as she sat on the couch in the guest quarters. Everything felt more complicated than it needed to be.

As she had predicted, Aubrey came within range of the Enterprise the following day and Cass beamed back to her cruiser. Aubrey took one look at her and scowled.

“Did you sleep with him? You’re radiating guilt.”

“I didn’t,” Cass replied angrily. “Stop assuming the worst of me.”

“Why are you so ashamed then?” Aubrey retorted.

“Because it’s fucking complicated,” Cass yelled. “Mind your own damn business.”

‘This became my business when you asked me to help you and your friends,” Aubrey shot back. “Also, Sabine commed me yesterday when she couldn’t get a hold of you.”

Cass waved her sister off, not interested in the conversation anymore. She had her own shit to deal with and she was more annoyed than she’d anticipated at Aubrey’s assumption that she’d betray her friend by sleeping with her man. She half-listened as Aubrey explained that Sabine was worried they were being followed on Nara II. Cass sighed and reached out to Varik to see if he knew anything about agents on Nara II.


	66. Chapter 66

“We have a leak, sir. It’s the only explanation.” The agent stood, grim-faced in front of Admiral Marcus’s desk, waiting for the man to acknowledge her statement. Marcus didn’t look up from his PADD.

“A leak, huh? Who do we suspect?”

“Unclear, sir.”

“Well, that’s a bit of a problem, isn’t it, agent?”

He never took the time to learn their names. They were all just “agent” to him. She hadn’t anticipated disliking her job at Section 31 so much. She had come into the job believing they were doing noble work to keep the galaxy safe. Now she felt disillusioned. And what was the point in looking for twelve people who had time-travelled to their century? Who cared? If she could convince herself they were dangerous or meant to harm the Federation, that would be one thing. But they seemed like normal people who just wanted to live their lives. Section 31 was stepping into the role of bad guy more and more. And it was mainly because of the man in front of her who couldn’t be bothered to learn her goddamn name even though she’d been working on this project for several months.

“We have several leads, Admiral. I cannot say with clarity which one is our best option.”

“Who are they?” Finally he looked up at her and motioned for her to sit down. She’d been standing for ten minutes, waiting for a visual.

“Two of the agents on the Resurrection Project have been brought in for infractions regarding the sharing of classified information. We also have reason to suspect several field agents.”

“What about Agent Pike’s former partner – the Betazoid who helped her train Latour?”

“Agent Varik? He’s not on the project, sir. He wouldn’t have access to the information that’s been leaked.”

“What? You think he doesn’t have friends working on the project? Or the skill to hack our systems? Think more broadly, agent. Everyone is an enemy till proven otherwise.”

“Yes sir. I’ll add Varik to our list.” Insufferable prick. She hoped whoever the leak was, they never got caught.

“And what are your ideas for flushing out the mole?”

“Well, that depends, sir. How much manpower will you allow for surveillance of agents?”

“You’re not serious, right? You do understand how much is at stake here, correct?”

She sighed. Yet another lecture about how the universe was at war and Section 31 was the only thing preventing total annihilation. If only. But she kept her poker face as the Admiral ranted. Once he’d wound down, she took a breath to speak.

“So you’ll want full measures then?” She kept her voice even, betraying no sign of her irritation.

“Obviously,” Marcus responded, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his own voice. The agent nodded and left. Marcus grabbed his personal communicator.

“You promised me you’d have Agent Pike killed by now,” he barked to the recipient of his comm, eschewing all pretenses of greetings and small talk.

“Well, I don’t care.”

…

“Chris doesn’t know anything – he’s useless. She’s not dumb enough to contact him.”

…

“Look, not only is she still alive, we’ve got a leak here feeding her information. How do you think the Resurrection crew escaped?”

The comm lasted a few more minutes before Marcus abruptly hung up. He went to his desk and paged his secretary.

“Put me on the next transport to London,” he ordered.

* * *

“Agent Harrison,” Marcus called out to the tall, pale man alone in the cavernous lab. “How is your work going?”

The other man ignored him. Marcus continued, undeterred. He was accustomed to the man’s surly silence at this point.

“I trust you’ve reviewed the schematics for the dreadnaught class starships. Do you have any questions about the specifications I sent you for the torpedoes?”

Silence again.

“Excellent. There’s something else I’d like to discuss with you.”

Harrison spun on Marcus, his eyes alight with an unfathomable rage.

“There will be no discussions till I have your assurance my people are safe.”

“Cryogenics is an old technology. You know I can’t vouch for its effectiveness. Who really knows if your crew is safe? You came out alright.”

“Where are they?” Harrison was almost yelling.

“Same place they’ve been all along.”

“And that is?”

“None of your concern for now.”

“They are my only concern!” Harrison made an attempt to lunge towards the admiral and was instantly stunned by seven guards in the rafters of the room. He was never truly alone. Wherever he went, he was followed by Section 31’s most elite force of trained killers. Though they had blasted him with their phasers set at the highest stun setting, the impact was nothing more than a momentary crumpling of the agent’s knees. Within seconds he had risen to his full height.

“Tsk, tsk, Agent Harrison. You know better than to try harming me. It would be a pity if another cryo-tube malfunctioned later today, wouldn’t it?”

Harrison did not answer. He turned his back on the admiral and recommenced the work he’d been doing before the interruption.

“Now, I’d like to talk to you about some blood samples we recently acquired. I think you may find them useful.” Harrison did not respond but his pivot away from the table let Marcus know he had the man’s attention.

* * *

_If I were you, I’d watch my back._

Varik didn’t know who had sent the encrypted message to his personal PADD but he was pretty sure whoever it was knew he’d been leaking information to Cass. He wasn’t sure how he knew it – just a hunch. But one thing Betazoids learned early in their telepathic and empathic training was to trust their guts. Which meant he probably needed to lay low. He’d known it would only be a matter of time before Section 31 figured out there was an internal double agent, especially with Cass and her sister whisking right in to rescue the captured Resurrection crew members. What he needed to figure out now was whether he was considered a prime suspect and what they would do to flush him out.

The message on his PADD indicated maybe he had more sympathizers within the organisation than he’d originally believed. Someone was trying to give him a heads-up. He was certain it wasn’t a message from Cass or Aubrey – they didn’t send these kinds of encryptions and their messages were always coded just in case someone did break the encryption. No, this smacked of someone else in the agency making sure he knew he was on thin ice. But who? How would he find out who his allies were?

Varik knew Admiral Marcus was not well-liked by many of the agents who had served under him. But it was a big step from disliking someone to taking actions, no matter how protected, to foil his plans. Everyone knew he’d had countless agents killed for far lesser reasons than an anonymous message sent to a possible suspected double agent. Whoever sent the message had put their neck on the line. Now Varik had two new missions – ensure no one discovered he was the leak while simultaneously figuring out who might be aligned with him. The Betazoid sighed. He didn’t regret helping Cass but he was definitely feeling the pressure of his decision. And now, he wouldn’t even have the satisfaction of the near-daily reaches to Cass that he had come to look forward to more than he cared to admit. Until things blew over, he would have to limit his conversations, both encrypted and telepathic, with the former agent.


	67. Chapter 67

For almost a year, Sabine and Adjoa lived happily on Nara II. Both women enjoyed their jobs and the Naralians seemed to hold them both in particularly high regard – more so than their usual affection for humans. It took six months before Sabine learned why.

“My dear, have you had the chance to visit the archives yet?”

Sabine was meeting with the head of her Grand House, having just finished her weekly physical evaluations of the house’s courtesans. As usual, everyone was in good health, with high spirits.

“No, Madame Bianye. I have not made it to the archives yet. I was considering a visit on my next free day. Is there a part you would especially recommend?”

This was not the first time a Naralian had suggested she pay a visit to the archives. Adjoa had visited once and while they were very gorgeous, neither woman understood why Naralians kept encouraging them to spend time in the archives. Sabine sat in the chair across from the madam’s desk and accepted the tea offered. This was their weekly routine. A review of everyone’s physical results and then tea. Sabine had learned more about Naralian telepathy and life in general on Nara II in these weekly sessions than any PADD could have ever provided her. And she genuinely liked Madame Bianye. But then, it was hard to not like a Naralian, as both women had discovered.

“If I were you? I would spend some time in the historical records…perhaps starting about 225 years ago?” Madame Bianye gave her a wink.

“Why do I feel like I will find something notable there?”

“I don’t know,” the madam answered, eyes dancing.

“Mmm, I suppose you have convinced me. I can see I will get no straight answers from you otherwise.”

“Speaking of answers,” the madam replied, lifting finely penciled purple eyebrows to give the doctor a good wide-eyed appraisal, “Have you considered my request?”

Sabine sighed. It was all she’d thought about since Madame Bianye had approached her at the end of last week’s tea.

“I must confess, I have not reached a decision, Madame. I hope that does not disappoint you.”

“Not in the least, my child. In truth, I would be more concerned if you answered either way too quickly. Take all the time you need to ponder. If you have questions, I’m happy to answer them.”

“It would only be Naralians, yes? I would not be available to anyone else?”

“That is my thought. Of course, the ultimate choice would rest with you.”

“Let me think more on it,” Sabine replied. She wasn’t sure if she was seriously considering the madam’s offer because she was actually interested or if it was yet one more effect of being surrounded by Naralians and their irrepressible telepathic and empathic skills.

* * *

“I received another clue from Madame Bianye today regarding the archives,” Sabine told her best friend as the two women prepared their dinner.

“Oh? Qu’a-t-elle dit?” Adjoa dressed the salad and then began to toss it.

“She – if Madame is in fact female – said we should look at Naralian history, starting about 225 years ago. Elle était très spécifique en ce qui concerne la date.” Sabine joined Adjoa at the table and motioned to a bottle of wine, popping the cork out with a bottle opener, and guiding it to the table to accompany their meal.

In the past six months, Sabine had fully come into her powers. She no longer needed gloves and had stopped wearing them altogether two months ago. She loved being able to feel things with her own fingers once more. It was even more enjoyable knowing she no longer posed a risk to those around her – she could touch another being and control whether anything was shared. Her nightmares, once nightly visitors, made only occasional appearances anymore and she had learned to bring herself out of them before levitating anything. She wished Cass could visit and take some satisfaction in knowing her hard work (and Agent Varik’s for that matter) had finally paid off. But the Pike sisters kept themselves busy and Sabine hadn’t heard from Cass since they’d successfully rescued Mía, John, and Anthony about three months ago. She and Aubrey communicated on an almost-weekly basis which sometimes left her wondering why Cass had been so quiet. But she assumed they had divided the crew between them and she was Aubrey’s responsibility. Not that she minded. She really liked the older Pike sister. In the meantime, Adjoa had grown fond of the perks that came along with having a telekinetic roommate. Like wine bottles that floated to the table, already opened. Sabine poured them both a glass, still using her telekinesis. She wasn’t just showing off – she’d come to realize she grew stronger and more disciplined the more she used her talents. So at home, when possible, she used telekinesis in an effort to find the cap on her strengths. So far, no ceiling had been hit – literally or figuratively.

“Did you discuss the offer any further?” Adjoa eyed her friend, looking for the familiar blush that once arose from being asked about such things but Sabine had grown in other ways over their time on Nara II. No blush sprang to her cheeks and she answered Adjoa’s question with ease.

“Ouais. I told the madam I need more time to decide but did confirm that it could be limited to Naralians.”

“Et? Que vas-tu lui dire?”

“Chais pas,” Sabine answered with a shrug of her shoulders. “I need more time to think. In the meantime, do you want to visit the archives with me?”

“Ben, oui, hein!”

After dinner, the two friends fell into one of several comfortable evening routines they shared – they curled up on the couch next to one another and watched a holomovie. It was a movie each had seen at least a dozen times, leaving them free to drink wine and gossip with one another. In the quiet, unremarkable moments like this, Adjoa and Sabine perceived the true strength of their friendship. There was no one else either woman would rather spend idle time with and they had known each other so long, little tics had become second nature. Adjoa could hold her glass out wordlessly and Sabine knew whether she wanted it filled up with more wine or placed on the coffee table because she was done. When they would go running together, each intuitively knew what the other preferred, in terms of pace and route. On nights when Sabine would wrestle with nightmares, Adjoa was there – she instinctively sensed, without Sabine making a sound, that the Frenchwoman was caught in visions of past horrors and she would slip into Sabine’s bed to hold her friend while she cried. Sabine would do the same in the moments Adjoa would be wracked with grief over Shrax. Their friendship had never been stronger than it was as they navigated Nara II together and even as it was happening, both women treasured the time they had with one another, hoping against hope it would last indefinitely.

* * *

Two days later, the women were in the basement of the Naralian archives. It was nowhere near as beautiful as the upper levels but it didn’t matter because the girls were about to make an incredible discovery.

“I think you should say yes.” Adjoa refused to let Madame Bianye’s offer go undiscussed at least once a day.

“I know you do.”

“But do you know my reasons why?”

Sabine cut a look at Adjoa. “I can guess.”

“Mais, non. You do not know if you think it is just prurient.”

“No French in public –”

“This is hardly public. You and I are the only people here…perhaps the only people who have been here in 200 years,” Adjoa replied as Sabine began to move the lever on the compact shelving and a slew of dust motes puffed up in their faces.

“Still, we should err on the side of caution. And tell me your non-prurient reasons for why I should agree to Madame’s offer.”

“For one, you know your abilities are all under control…except during sex.”

Sabine nodded her head. That was true. She hadn’t given herself the opportunity to test whether she could control her telepathy and telekinesis during sex.

“Also, you need to put it behind you.”

“Put what behind me?”

“Do not act naïve. You know of what I speak.”

Sabine sighed. She knew exactly what Adjoa was talking about. Even though the ache inside her had subsided, she still found herself pining for Leo and she knew they were no closer now to being safe than they had been when she left him. Besides, Cass had confirmed her memory replacements were working. He hated her now and the only way that could ever be reversed would be via his own efforts.

“You are right. I do need to stop thinking of him. But I am not sure what Madame Bianye proposes is the answer.”

“Even if it is not, it will still give you the chance for some much-needed pleasure.” Adjoa had been quick to adopt the attitudes and behaviors of their sex-positive hosts.

“I am considering the offer. Let us leave it at that for now.”

Adjoa motioned for Sabine to stop turning the crank as they had reached the shelf range they were interested in. Both women crowded into the narrow passage between the compact shelves and looked at the materials before them. While Adjoa grabbed several binders, Sabine pulled out an archival box from the appropriate shelving area. Both friends worked their way out of the shelves and set their finds down on the table before them. The box hadn’t been marked top or bottom so when Sabine opened it, she discovered she’s set it upside down on the table. Everything was facing backside up. But she instantly recognized what one of the items was – the distinct thickness and gloss of the paper, even from the back, was something she hadn’t thought she’d see again in her lifetime.

“Adji, look. A photograph,” Sabine elbowed the other woman who was busy perusing one of the binders she’s brought to the table. She hadn’t referred to Adjoa by that childhood nickname in years and the other woman glanced up briefly to see what had gotten her best friend so worked up.

“Eh, what of it?” Adjoa was more interested in the binder she’d found. There was an article about contact being made with a new species – she wanted to know what species had been new to the Naralians 200+ years ago.

“No, you do not understand. It is an actual photo – not a holo.” At that, the Togolaise looked up and over in surprise, much more interested.

“What in the…” Adjoa trailed off as Sabine slowly flipped the photo over so they could see what it captured. Both women stared at it in stunned silence.

“Oh my God,” Sabine whispered. Staring back at both of them were twelve faces they hadn’t seen in almost 5 years. It was the Resurrection I crew. And the picture beneath it? All sixty members of the Resurrection Program, themselves included.

* * *

Sabine sought out Madame Bianye first thing the next day. She wasn’t scheduled to meet with the head of the house but she could not wait till their next weekly meeting. Luckily, as was almost always the case with Naralians, the madam graciously met with her.

Once in the madam’s sitting room, Sabine could contain herself no longer.

“You knew! Everyone has known! Why did no one say something sooner?”

“Dearest, we did say something. Many times. How often have we encouraged you both to visit the archives?”

This stopped Sabine short. She sank into her usual seat and the madam joined her in the armchair next to hers.

“To be fair, not everyone realizes who you are. Those of us of a certain age were taught about you in primary school – we were alive when your friends were here. You will find younger Naralians may not be as familiar with your history.”

“Tell me about what you learned,” Sabine begged, gripping the edge of her armrests.

“But of course. I have my morning clear to talk with you.” Madame Bianye had known this conversation was coming.

Over the next hour, Sabine learned the complete story – the details omitted in the archival photos and articles came into sharp focus.

When the Resurrection I crew had fled Earth’s airspace, they had done so with information on sustainable planets sent from Resurrection II, as the remaining crews had suspected. Of the planets they could reach, they chose Nara II because it was the furthest away from Earth. Upon landing, they met the friendly, rainbow-haired beings who would host them for the rest of their days. They were also introduced to the medical advancements of Nara II – including a procedure to reverse the sterilization they had all gone through as young teens. Eight of them had the procedure done. Two of the Resurrection I crew members were telepaths – Manuel and Ahmed. The two men had the sterilization reversal procedure and bonded with Naralians. From their bonds, children were born – half-human, half-Naralian and more telepathically powerful than either species had been on its own. These new Naralians continued to breed with the human children of Resurrection crew members and with other Naralians. The modern Naralians had humans to thank for their heightened abilities. They also had humans to thank for their decision to stop exploring the galaxy. Having heard the humans’ tales of woe regarding their own planet, Naralians decided upon a policy of strict neutrality in their relations with other species. But the Resurrection I crew, knowing Resurrection IV had been successful in test travels through time, also prepared the Naralians for the possibility that they might one day meet another twelve humans, one of whom would share the same telepathic abilities as Manuel and Ahmed. And so, when Adjoa and Sabine had shown up, their faces familiar to those Naralians who had been taught to look for them from childhood, many had rejoiced. These were the humans they’d been told about – the ones who could manipulate time travel. It was sad to contemplate the time gap between the first Resurrection crew and these women; if Naralians could have prolonged the life of their human visitors, they would have so that they could have witnessed the happy reunion of old friends. But instead, they had letters saved from the Resurrection I crew for the IV crew members. Letters Adjoa and Sabine had read with shaky voices and wet eyes in the basement of the archives.

“I feel bad now,” Sabine murmured.

“But whatever for?”

“We have come here and you are all so happy to see us…but we have put you in danger.”

“How so?” Madame Bianye was concerned but not because of any worry over danger to Nara II. The worry was more for the doctor, whose fear was sufficient for the madam to take seriously.

“We came here to escape an organisation that is no doubt still hunting us. I was warned not to come here but I paid no heed and now I worry I have risked too many other lives.”

“Nonsense, darling.” Sabine’s heart pinged at hearing that old epithet used by someone other than Leo. “We will keep you safe. Do you think you are the only two beings who have sought asylum here? This is what we do, my love. We hide those who need hiding.”

Sabine smiled gratefully at the Naralian. Sabine had no idea what Madame Bianye’s gender was. In the six months she and Adjoa had lived on Nara II, gender had become almost meaningless to them, except as it might medically impact a Naralian.

“I am also sorry to tell you that we cannot share the secrets of time travel with you.” Sabine and Adjoa had debated many times whether they should share their knowledge of how to manipulate modern technology to allow for time travel. Inevitably, they had always decided to refrain, unsure of what might happen should such knowledge fall into the wrong hands.

“My dear, we were not excited to see you because we thought you would provide us with time travel. Truthfully, we are fine without such an option. Our excitement in seeing both you and your friend is in seeing the fulfillment of a hope your friends had for you. They very much wanted you to be safe and happy.”

“Madame, this is perhaps an impertinent question…” Sabine began hesitantly.

“My dear, there is no such thing between us. Haven’t you learned that by now?”

“I do not know your age. Did you…were you alive when they were here?”

The madam smiled and a soft chuckle escaped her lips.

“Oh, but you are such a human. Only humans get offended by such questions. My dear, I am 250 years old. So yes, when I was young, the first Resurrection humans arrived. I lived to see them die, happy in their old age. And I am still alive to see you and your friend. It brings me great joy to know your friends were right and that you all are safe now, in our time.”

Sabine didn’t know what to say. The woman sitting across from her had lived with her friends from Resurrection I. She’d seen them live out their lives.

“You mentioned that we were talked about in your schools…” she finally said.

“Oh yes. You must understand. Your friends were like…celebrities… to us. They revolutionized our telepathic abilities. They would come into our schools and give lectures on Earth – what it was like, what they had seen. But despite the terrible things they shared, theirs was a message of hope. And part of that hope was that their friends – you all – would choose to come forward in time and would find the wider universe of friendly beings ready to welcome them with open arms. And here we are!”

The Naralian’s excitement was infectious and Sabine smiled at the older being. She was so happy she’d decided to come to Nara II and that Adjoa had been there with her.

“Madame, I have thought about your offer. I would like to accept.”

“Dear, don’t make a decision just because you’re particularly emotional right now.”

“I am not… at least, I do not believe I am. I want to train as a courtesan, provided the clients I have to choose from are only Naralians. I cannot risk being seen by anyone from the Federation or Starfleet.”

“I will agree to this,” Madame Bianye started, raising a hand to quell Sabine’s interjection that this had been the madam’s idea in the first place before continuing. “I just ask that you first tell me why you have agreed.”

Sabine sat back and thought for a moment before responding.

“There are several reasons. I need to stop mourning what I have lost. I would like to discover if I have completely mastered my abilities and I cannot risk that with someone who is not telepathic and thus unable to block whatever potential memories, thoughts, or feelings I may spill as I gain complete mastery. I want to know more about your society – to understand it thoroughly. It is clear I cannot do so without experiencing such an integral part of what it means to be Naralian. And finally, I would like to offer my services in thanks for what your society did to protect my friends all those years ago.”

* * *

Living on Nara II gave both Sabine and Adjoa a new outlook on sex. Now that Sabine was training as a courtesan for Naralians, she was learning even more about why the inhabitants of Nara II felt the way they did about sex and what it meant to be just one of several genders, rather than simply male or female. But she supposed it had never been as easy as male and female. She remembered one of her fellow inmates who had transitioned from man to woman while they were in the Peacekeepers camp together. That the Peacekeepers had allowed and even aided in the transition was a reminder to her that not everything about her old life had been horrible. As misguided as many of their decisions had been, the Peacekeepers had meant to leave the world a better place. That was more than she could say about many organisations or nations from her time period. But living on Nara II had opened Sabine’s eyes to infinite possibilities. It was a world where labels were not necessary, though if someone wanted to label themselves, that was fine too. Beings were encouraged to be their best selves, whatever that entailed. It truly was a slice of paradise and both women tried to show their gratitude as often as they could. Their efforts were welcomed and they were embraced with open arms, not just because their arrival had been prophesized by the Resurrection I crew, but because they shared love and tolerance with the inhabitants of the planet.

For her part, Adjoa found great happiness in teaching Naralian teens about STEM subjects. She also enjoyed meeting beings from all over the galaxy. After a brief period of grieving, she allowed herself to be set up with fellow teachers and before long, she found herself dating all manner of beings – Klingons and Romulans included. She was fascinated by Klingon culture and they seemed equally fascinated by her. She was a strong, intelligent human with no hang-ups regarding the political difficulties between the Federation and the Klingon Empire; it did not take long for her to gain a reputation as a Klingon sympathizer and she felt little reason to resist the opinions. No one on Nara II, besides the occasional Starfleet officer, cared who she sympathized with and as she avoided Starfleet officers, Adjoa was surrounded by only those who sought to encourage more peaceful friendships between Klingons and humans. Sabine would occasionally join her on a double date with Klingon visitors, but Sabine’s diminutive stature tended to dissuade Klingons from interest or attraction in her. Though one particular double date was successful – the ladies met two Klingon men at the gym for some practice fighting. Sabine solidified her status as someone due respect as she proceeded to take down both men. Still, she preferred to leave the Klingons to Adjoa. Sabine had enough on her plate as it was. But she was always willing to listen to Adjoa’s post-date synopses and was particularly fascinated by the idea that Klingon men had two penises. She had yet to see it for herself but talking to Adjoa about her confusion when initially confronted with Klingon male genitalia had been one of the most amusing conversations the two women had ever had.

Becoming a courtesan was so much more work than Sabine could have possibly imagined. While she was relieved to discover she could control her mental abilities during sex, she was less thrilled to discover just how much was expected of a courtesan. She was wildly popular among Naralian clients and it pleased her to realize just how interested they were…but learning how to satisfy over eight different genders while simultaneously keeping track of all the variations of sexuality that so many genders fostered was overwhelming. There was a reason Madame Bianye had offered to train her as opposed to just setting her loose. The training was essential and, at times, uncomfortable. But as the months wore on, Sabine bloomed into everything the madam had hoped she would become. And for Sabine, the chance to experience sex without any strings attached was liberating. She’d spent most of her life with one partner, involved in a sometimes-painful lifebond. To be allowed sexual exploration across various genders and sexual preferences without recrimination was a gift and she guarded it. To anyone looking down on her choices, she would have strong words. Everything she did was her choice and she felt like a better person for having allowed herself this unique indulgence.

Sabine and Adjoa found more than sexual satisfaction, career success, and telepathic mastery on Nara II; they also found peace and they did so in a surprisingly rapid manner. After two months on the planet, both women discovered they were not only content in their day-to-day lives, but that they were no longer fighting demons that had plagued them since their childhoods. It wasn’t just the kind and empathetic nature of Naralians that soothed them. Being the scientists they were, upon realizing their mutual peace of mind, both women set out to discover how they had achieved such high levels of inner tranquility. It turned out the vegetation grown on Nara II exhibited unusually high amounts of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins. All four chemicals activated happiness in the human brain. No wonder Starfleet, an organisation primarily composed of humans, found the planet so attractive for shore leave. Both women wondered what would happen when they left the planet. Would their new-found contentment dissipate? In the meantime, they took advantage of Nara II’s natural resources and set about burying painful memories. For Sabine, especially, the time she spent on Nara II helped her regain much of what she had been before the deaths of Dinesh and her parents. She became more comfortable in her own skin, no longer ashamed of who she was and what she could do.

Sabine also learned more about her telepathic skills under the tutelage of her Naralian hosts. She learned more about why she was able to form a bond connection with Leo. Apparently, once a bonded telepath survived the death of their mate, they were able to bond with others. And because her body had been so accustomed to the bond, she had subconsciously sought another bondmate. The only thing none of them could fathom is why or how she was able to form a bond with someone who had no telepathic abilities of his own. No one had an answer for that mystery. It would be harder for Leo to accept a bond than it would be for a fellow telepath. Lifebonds were potentially lethal to non-telepaths, reaffirming to Sabine that as painful as her separation from the other doctor had been, it was for the best. He was safer without her.

* * *

Five months after agreeing to Madame Bianye’s offer to become a courtesan-in-training, Sabine was leaving the Grand House in the early morning light, her nighttime appointments finished, her mind and body sated, when she felt what had become an unusual emotion – unease. Sabine had to think to the last time she’d felt like this and when it hit her, she sped her pace and took a detour into an alley, heading the opposite way from her apartment. Sabine hadn’t felt this feeling since the Academy and she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, she was being tracked. There had been one time, shortly after she and Adjoa had been left on Nara II, that she had worried they were being followed. She’d been wrong, it turned out, and now that she was actually being tracked, she could realize just how different and frightening it was. She didn’t know who, but someone was behind her, watching where she went. So instead of home, Sabine stopped at another Grand House she had provided medical services for in the past and asked for entrance. It was granted and from the safe confines of the House, she commed Adjoa.

“They are here,” her friend answered in lieu of a greeting.

“I know. I had to stop at another House on my way back. Someone was following me.” Sabine felt a weight inside her, as though someone had poured concrete in her stomach. If Adjoa already knew, that meant there were at least two agents tracking them. And Section 31 knew they were both on Nara II.

“I already commed Aubrey and Cass.”

The impact of their conversation hit Sabine hard enough that she grabbed the side table closest to her for support as her knees weakened.

“Adji…,”

“We knew this would likely happen. We were always on borrowed time, Sabsi.”

The room spun as Sabine contemplated leaving the happiness of Nara II and, more importantly, separating from Adjoa. As sometimes happened to her in moments of crisis, Sabine was struck by a memory. This one was of the two women as young girls – they were fifteen, playing in the outdoor field of the camp, making up songs about their friendship: _Je suis Adji, Tu es Sabsi, On est amies, Ensemble ici, Toujours amies_. Spinning in the tall grass together, the sun shining down, they’d had hope then – hope they’d leave the camp and have relatively normal lives. Hope they’d succeed in whatever tasks the Peacekeepers gave them. Silly hopes of young teens – that each would find or keep a suitable lover. Two tears quickly fell down Sabine’s cheek as she remembered their optimism in the face of every obstacle. She needed that optimism now.

They both knew they would never be permitted to go to the next location as a pair, especially because it was now clear they’d been tracked together.

“Maybe we are wrong?” Sabine asked weakly, desperate for a solution that wouldn’t involve saying goodbye to her closest companion.

“Both of us? You know this is not an error,” Adjoa replied sadly, her own voice thick with unspoken emotions and memories.

Sabine heard a ping on her communicator.

“I am getting a comm – I have to go,” she said to Adjoa, not realizing those would be the last words she would say to her friend for a long time. She switched over to the new comm.

It was Cass and she ordered Sabine to stay put. They’d be there shortly to pick her up. Whatever she did, she could not use her communicator or go back to the apartment. Sabine thought about the meager material possessions she had accumulated in almost a year. None of it really mattered. She had done this before. Still, the idea that she couldn’t contact Adjoa hurt her to the core. A half hour later, Cass and Aubrey beamed her up from the Grand House to their cruiser and they departed. Adjoa had been picked up by another of Aubrey’s associates. Even if she had asked, Sabine knew they wouldn’t tell her where her best friend was going. Hell, she’d be lucky if they told her where SHE was going.

As she watched Nara II recede from the view of the window, Sabine mourned the beings she never got to say goodbye to and hoped none of them would be harmed by the agents tracking them. She especially mourned the loss of her dearest friend, taking small comfort in the hope they would both be safe in their new locations.

Sabine was so wrapped up in her own sadness, she completely disregarded Cass’s aloofness and Aubrey’s repeated glares directed to her younger sister.


	68. Chapter 68

“Dammit, man, that was our ride! You stunned our ride!” Leonard McCoy was furious as he glared at his best friend and captain over the collapsed creature that was supposed to take them safely and quickly to the ocean.

“Oh great,” Jim muttered, a look of exasperation on his face. He heard the footfalls behind him grow closer. “Run!” he yelled to McCoy and the two men took off, red branches and leaves in their faces. McCoy turned to look behind them and get a glimpse of their pursuers. They were white – not like humans were white. These beings were caked in what looked like white mud. They all wore yellow scarves and cloth.

“What the hell did you take?” McCoy shouted over to Jim.

“I’ve no idea, but they were bowing to it,” Jim answered breathlessly before getting on his comm. “Kirk to Shuttle One. Locals are out of the kill zone. You are clear. Repeat. Spock, get in there, neutralize the volcano, and let’s get out of here.”

Spock came in over the communicator.

“Captain, did the indigenous lifeforms see you?”

“No, Mister Spock, they did not,” Jim replied with aggravation, as he almost smacked into a tree.

“The Prime Directive clearly states there can be no interference with the internal developments of alien civilizations,” Spock lectured.

If he hadn’t been running while dodging arrows and spears, Jim would have rolled his eyes.

“I know what it says, which is why I’m running through the jungle wearing a disguise. Now drop off your super ice cube and let’s go. Kirk out.”

A spear just missed McCoy and he shouted to Jim in a panic. “They’re trying to kill us!” He ducked and another spear narrowly missed him. “They’re trying to kill us, Jim!”

The two men continued to run from the chasing inhabitants of the planet they had been sent to survey – Nibiru. Class M, as they always were, with a civilization that had just barely invented the wheel. Jim had gotten a harebrained idea to save the planet once he realized an active volcano was about to level the society. He and Spock had come up with an ingenious plan and now they all just needed to make it back to the ship. McCoy needed a drink. A drink and the promise of no more space adventures for a few months. This was their last survey. They just needed to make it out alive.

Jim hung whatever it was he’d taken from the villagers on a tree branch without breaking stride.

“Jim! Jim, the beach is that way,” McCoy pointed to the opposite direction from where his friend was running. They were supposed to meet Sulu, Uhura, and Spock at the shuttle on the beach.

“I know. We’re not going to the beach.”

McCoy’s heart jumped into his throat.

“Oh no! No! No!” He started running faster to catch up to Jim. The villagers had stopped pursuing them, falling to their knees in front of whatever the scroll was that Jim had taken.

“I hate this!” he yelled at the man he most wanted to throttle in that moment.

“I know you do,” Jim yelled in response.

The both ran to the edge of a massive cliff and jumped, screaming in unison as they plunged into the large body of water below. They’d been ready to swim – under their disguises, both were wearing scuba suits. Motors in their boots propelled them deeper into the water, towards the Enterprise, hidden under the depths of the massive sea they had jumped into. McCoy was going to kill Jim. Once they got back on board, the doctor was going to take great pleasure in strangling his “friend.” Frankly, it was long overdue.

The two men entered one of the ship’s airlocks. They grabbed bars hanging from the ceiling as the water began to drain from the tiny room. McCoy removed the goggles and breathing apparatus he’d put on once they’d jumped into the water and he glared at Jim but before he could start his tirade, the inner door of the airlock opened and an irate Scotty began to bitch at Jim instead.

“Do you have any idea how ridiculous it is to hide a starship on the bottom of the ocean? We've been doon here since last night. The salt water's going to ruin the –”

“Scotty, where’s Spock?” Jim interrupted.

Scotty’s demeanor changed. “Still in the volcano, sir,” he said with an air of resignation.

Jim didn’t care if the whole ship was angry with him – he needed to make sure his first officer was okay. What Jim knew but hadn’t had time to tell McCoy was that Spock had been dropped into the volcano when the cord had fried and the shuttle had needed to abandon him. He explained this to McCoy as the three men ran to the bridge.

“Keptin on the bridge,” Chekov announced as the three men rushed in. Kirk ran to Sulu’s station.

“Lieutenant, do we have an open channel to Mister Spock?” he asked Uhura as she stepped forward. He could tell by looking at her that she was upset.

“The heat’s frying his comms but we still have contact,” she replied, her emotions not far from the surface. McCoy positioned himself close to her, knowing that if they didn’t rescue Spock, she was going to need his assistance. She shared a look of anguish with Kirk before he turned around.

“Spock?” he called out over the comms.

“I have activated the device, Captain. When the countdown is complete, the reaction should render the volcano inert,” came back the unflappable voice of his first officer. It crackled as the signal wavered in and out.

“Yeah and that’s gonna render him inert,” McCoy observed.

“Do we have use of the transporters?” Kirk asked, all business.

“Negative, sir,” Sulu replied. No one had changed out of their wetsuits – the entire bridge crew realized how dire the situation was.

“Not with these magnetic fields,” Chekov added.

“I need to beam Spock back to the ship. Give me one way to do it,” Jim demanded as Scotty watched a giant fish swim by the view screen.

“Maybe if we had a direct line of sight,” Chekov speculated. “If we got closer –”

“Hold on, wee man,” Scotty interrupted. “You’re talking about an active volcano. Sir, if that thing erupts, I cannae guarantee we can withstand the heat.”

“I don’t know if we can maintain that kind of altitude,” Sulu added.

“Our shuttle was concealed by the ash cloud, but the Enterprise is too large. If utilized in a rescue effort, it would be revealed to the indigenous species,” Spock piped up through the comms.

Jim rolled his eyes. “Spock, nobody knows rules better than you, but there has got to be an exception.”

“None,” came Spock’s reply. “Such action violates the Prime Directive.” McCoy watched as Uhura came another step closer to tears while listening to her boyfriend’s objections.

“Shut up, Spock,” he growled. “We’re trying to save you, dammit.”

“Doctor, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” McCoy was glad Spock wasn’t in front of him because that was exactly the kind of remark that made him want to punch the pointy eyebrows right off the Vulcan’s face.

“Spock, we’re talking about your life!” Jim was exasperated.

“The rule cannot be brok –” Spock’s connection finally fizzled altogether as the volcanic activity became more unstable.

“Spock!” Jim cried out frantically. “Try to get him back online,” he commanded Uhura.

“Ninety seconds to detonations,” Chekov stated.

McCoy had moved next to where Jim was standing. “If Spock were here and I were there, what would he do?” he asked his friend.

“He’d let you die,” McCoy said softly and they both knew he was right. Jim made his decision.

“Alright, let’s do this. Get the ship as close as we can to transport Mister Spock aboard.” The crew wordlessly sprang into action, no one objecting to what Jim was proposing. The Prime Directive didn’t matter as much as saving Spock.

Jim and McCoy left the bridge and made their way as quickly as they could to the transporter room while the Enterprise rose out of the waters that had hidden her and made her way closer to the volcano. The natives of Nibiru watched in wonder and awe as the ship flew.

Spock was beamed aboard at the very last second; Jim and McCoy made it to the transporter room just in time to see him step off the platform.

“Spock! You alright?” Jim asked, relief flooding his body at the safe return of his Vulcan sidekick.

“Captain, you let them see our ship,” the Vulcan responded.

“Oh, he’s fine,” McCoy groused.

“Bridge to Captain Kirk,” Uhura commed.

“Yes, lieutenant,” Kirk replied.

“Is Commander Spock on board, sir?” She made no effort to conceal the emotion in her voice.

“Safely and soundly,” Kirk replied.

“Please notify him that his device has safely detonated.” McCoy heard the edge in her tone and wouldn’t trade places with the Vulcan in a million years. Theirs was not going to be a fun reunion – McCoy would put good credits on it.

“You hear that?” Jim said to Spock. “Congratulations, Spock. You just saved the world.”

“You violated the Prime Directive,” was Spock’s only response.

“Oh come on, Spock,” Jim replied, rolling his eyes. “They saw us. Big deal.”


	69. Chapter 69

Aubrey glared at her sister. They were alone in the craft now, having just dropped Sabine off at the edge of the known galaxy. She was on a small planet for now, but Aubrey had explained to her that construction was well underway on a new Federation star base near there – Yorktown. When it was done, they’d move her to the base if she wanted. Cass had barely spoken ten words to Sabine and it had only been because of Aubrey’s own talkativeness and Sabine’s grief that the Frenchwoman hadn’t noticed her sister’s surliness. But Aubrey had and it pissed her off.

“Is this how it’ll go now? You’ll treat her like shit because you want to sleep with that damn doctor?” Aubrey was ready for a good fight.

“How many times do I have to tell you I don’t want to sleep with him?” Cass snapped.

“You’re a liar,” Aubrey shot back.

Frankly, the fact that she and Cass had lived together for a year now in such small quarters without having a knock-down, drag-out fight was amazing. It was high time that changed, as far as Aubrey was concerned. Especially since Cass was being such a cunt.

Cass wasn’t in the mood for more recriminations. Seeing Sabine had been hard enough. Every time she looked in her friend’s green eyes, all she could think about was how she kept turning down the advances Bones made whenever she saw him. Cass had only seen him a few times since she’d woken up in that bed in med bay but each time, he’d been playfully amorous with her and each time, she’d turned him down; it annoyed her because she felt like she couldn’t be herself around him anymore. She was no longer certain if laughing at one of his jokes was flirting (whether she meant it to be or not). Cass spent so much time worrying she was unintentionally leading Bones on, she hardly enjoyed seeing him. At the same time, a small part of her enjoyed the flirtier version of the cranky doctor that she now dealt with; it was kinda fun being pursued even if she had absolutely no intention of letting him catch her. Who didn’t like being hit on by an attractive man? But did that make her a horrible person?

Her stomach knotted itself again as she thought about how unsuspecting Sabine had been when they’d picked her up. Unsuspecting, trusting, and hurt over the loss of Adjoa and her life on Nara II. Was she supposed to tell Sabine about McCoy’s passes at her? What was too honest when it came to friends? She suspected that if she told Sabine about McCoy’s behavior, it would crush the other telepath and Cass was in no hurry to ruin the happiness Sabine had found on Nara II. As it stood, Sabine was hurting over the loss of Adjoa – it seemed too harsh to also tell her the man she’d loved was now flirting with one of her best friends. Cass didn’t know if she was just being self-serving by avoiding what would clearly be a difficult conversation but she desperately wanted to do right by everyone involved. In her efforts to stave off any passes Bones made at her, while simultaneously avoiding telling Sabine about said passes, Cass just ended up feeling like a crap friend to all parties. That was the guilt Aubrey sensed in her and it was the same reason she’d been so withdrawn around Sabine. If only she’d never taught Sabine how to mess with memories. What if they’d just convinced McCoy to go into hiding like the Resurrection crew? He and Sabine would still be in love and Cass wouldn’t be tearing her insides up worrying about whether she was being a bad friend to either or both of them.

Everything sucked and that didn’t even scratch the surface when it came to what was happening between her and Varik. At one point, they had been communicating with each other multiple times a day and Cass’s feelings for the Betazoid double agent had deepened. Recently, however, he’d grown silent and Cass was worried he had either been compromised or lost interest in risking himself for a cause that no longer seemed worthwhile. She did her best not to take it personally, but she missed Varik’s presence. Cass couldn’t go back to Earth and he couldn’t leave without arousing suspicion. So they were in a long-distance holding pattern with no safe way to contact one another. Cass didn’t know if she’d ever felt this much sexual frustration before.

“You’re a liar,” Aubrey repeated, “and a shitty friend.”

“What are you talking about?” Cass asked crankily. She wondered if Aubrey’s reasons for putting her in the shitty friend category were the same as her own reasons for feeling like the worst.

“You know goddamned well what I’m talking about. You didn’t even speak to Sabs,” Aubrey snipped.

“What? Are you her best friend now?”

“I’m a better friend to her than you’re being. How in the fuck do you sit there sulking while she’s miserable about losing her best friend and leaving a planet she loved….again? How do you sleep at night?”

“I sleep fine, thanks. You’d know since we’re on top of each other in this hunk of junk. I hate being stuck in this fucking tin can with you. And quit snooping into everyone else’s heads.”

Clearly, Aubrey didn’t mind reading Sabine. Cass felt a pang of jealousy at how well Aubrey and Sabine had hit it off. They had developed a tight friendship quickly, conversing with one another on a more regular basis than Cass spoke with Sabine. That Aubrey could sense Sabine’s heartbreak while Cass was rolled up in her own emotions wasn’t lost on the younger Pike sister. She was not being a good friend to anyone right now and she knew it. She ought to pay more attention to Sabine, she ought to do more to dissuade Bones from looking at her as a romantic possibility, and she ought to commit to Varik.

“You’re one step away from sleeping with Bones and you know it. And what about Varik? Does he deserve that? Sabine sure doesn’t. Maybe you need to take some time off and figure out what to do about this mess you’ve made.”

Aubrey was feeding off of her thoughts and emotions and it was infuriating. Cass glared at her sister. She hadn’t made this mess. She was trying to keep the messes others made contained.

“I am not one step away from sleeping with Bones,” Cass replied indignantly. “I’m nowhere close to sleeping with him. Unlike you, I don’t strip for just anyone. And Varik is none of your fucking business. Also? Get off your damn high horse over Sabine. You’re no better, flirting shamelessly with her. It’s fucking pathetic.”

“Fuck off. You know you don’t have a leg to stand on here,” Aubrey replied.

Cass didn’t like how flirty her sister was with Sabine. What if Sabs actually took Aubrey up on her advances one of these days? That would be a disaster for everyone involved. Cass couldn’t think of two people more ill-suited for one another – Sabine was a once-bonded telepath yearning for serious commitment and Aubrey had never met a sexual proposition she could say no to. The idea of the two of them hooking up filled Cass with visions of fights and tears she didn’t want to put up with.

Even if she was flirting with Sabine, Aubrey didn’t feel like that compared to the tightrope her sister was trying to walk, being a confidant to Bones while also being responsible for Sabine’s safety and stringing along some Betazoid who was feeding them information. Aubrey wanted her sister to make a choice and see it through. And the choice she wanted Cass to make was to drop the male doctor for good. As long as Cass kept hanging out with him, the more conflicted she felt inside. Aubrey knew that conflict wasn’t good for any one of them.

“God, you love it, don’t you? You love pretending to be the moral compass.” Cass felt a rage building inside her.

“I don’t love it at all. You know I don’t give a shit about moral high grounds except when it comes to doing right by friends. And you are not doing right by your friends.“

Cass looked at her sister with an expression of annoyance and disgust. Aubrey knew exactly what to say to get under her skin.

“I don’t need this bullshit. I didn’t leave everything behind so that you could lecture me on being a better person. Like you’re in a position to offer that lecture to anyone,” she snorted, taking her own cheap shot based on the insecurities she knew Aubrey carried.

Inside, Cass knew she was being a bitch and Aubrey had a point. Cass had let her guilt get in the way and she’d been horrible to Sabine just now. But goddammit, she didn’t need Aubrey to pile on.

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself,” Aubrey snipped. “You put yourself in this situation and you want to wallow in self-pity and loathing. You can fix this. Easily. Stop being a coward.”

“Get out of my fucking head.”

“Stop emoting so much and I won’t be able to read you so easily.”

“God, I fucking hate this. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to spend another minute with you.” Cass didn’t know why she was doing this. She loved being with Aubrey 80% of the time. Aubrey had been her hero as a kid and even when they’d chosen separate paths in life, Cass had made a lot of decisions based on what she thought Aubrey would do. Why was she destroying everything good in her life?

“Then fucking get out. No one’s begging you to stay. You want off? Be my guest.” Aubrey turned the ship starboard.

“Where are you going?”

“There’s a port over this way and some of my friends are there. You want your freedom? I’ll give it to you.” She was calling Cass’s bluff and they both knew it.

But neither sister backed down which as how, a couple of hours later, Aubrey found herself alone in her bucket of bolts for the first time in a year and Cass found herself with an Andorian and Tellarite, heading towards Orion for their next job. Both sisters were too proud to admit to one another that they’d rather stick together. So now they were both unhappy. As Cass lay down in her new bunk that night, she wiped a couple of quiet tears from her eyes. When had everything gone to such shit? Her entire life felt like it was falling apart. She sighed and rolled over.

* * *

Varik felt Cass’s pinch and looked around his apartment. He hadn’t felt any telepathic trackers for a couple of weeks now. And if there were agents outside, watching him through the windows, all they would see was a Betazoid having a telepathic conversation – for all they knew, he could be talking to a friend or a relative. He responded. It had been too long since they’d last conversed, telepathically or otherwise and he missed her as much as she missed him.

Hey. How ya doing?

He could feel her distress and sadness instantly.

_I’ve been better._

 I can tell. What’s wrong?

_Aubrey and I had a huge fight and now I’m stuck on a cruiser with a couple of chodes and everything is the worst._

He felt her crying softly.

It’ll be okay. Take a deep breath. Tell me about the fight.

_You want the whole story? You might end up thinking less of me._

I was your partner for two years – I’ve seen you at your best and your worst. Tell me everything. It’ll feel good to get it out.

_So here’s the deal…_

Cass told Varik about all of it. How she’d been attracted to Bones and then he started dating her friend and now she was trying to be a friend to both of them while Aubrey was convinced she was going to end up in bed with Bones any minute.

_It’s like she doesn’t understand you can be attracted to someone and still know being with that person would be the wrong thing. She senses my guilt and confusion for how to handle Sabine and she feeds off of it._

I’m sorry. If it makes you feel better, I get what you’re saying. And if you tell me you have no intention of sleeping with Sabine’s ex, I believe you. Regardless of how attractive you might find him. I find plenty of women attractive. Much to my dismay, that doesn’t mean I sleep with even half of them. Maybe Aubrey’s on to something after all.

Cass laughed in spite of her low spirits. Varik sent her comfort through the connection and she sent him gratitude back. He felt her grow serious again.

_I really want to do right by Sabine. Do you think I should tell her about my feelings for Bones? Or that he’s been hitting on me?_

Realize that my advice is limited by the fact that I don’t know everyone involved as well as you do, but if it were me? I wouldn’t tell her. I think it would upset her more to know he’s hitting on you. As for your attraction, it’s an added, and perhaps unnecessary bit of complicated information in an already-complicated situation. If you think you could tell her about your attraction while simultaneously convincing her it isn’t an issue, that would be one thing. If not, probably best to keep it to yourself.

Cass appreciated what Varik was telling her and not just because it made her feel better about her own choices. She’d come to trust his counsel even when it contradicted what she wanted to do.

_Are you doing okay? I feel like an ass. I haven’t even asked how it’s going with you._

Don’t worry about it. I haven’t felt any telepathic trackers here at the apartment for a couple of weeks. They’re still all over me in the office.

_So that’s why you’ve been quiet. I wondered._

Yeah, I wanted to tell you but with the telepaths following me home, I figured silence was the best option. But maybe we’re through the worst of it now.

_I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to repay you for putting yourself in danger like this to help us._

I was never in it for payment. I just want you guys to be safe. Hopefully, someone will call Marcus on his shit before it gets out of hand.

_That’d be nice, huh? I’d be able to come back to Earth._

What? And give up your life of adventure?

_Who says there aren’t adventures to be had on Earth?_

Varik felt a thread of desire seeping through Cass’s side of the connection. He cleared his throat in an involuntary reaction.

 Just what kind of adventures are you looking for?

Cass blushed. This wasn’t the first time the two telepaths had shared their mutual desire through a connection but they’d normally ignored the emotions, or made jokes about them, focusing instead on whatever crisis they were working through.

_Let’s just say there’s at least one woman I can think of who would welcome your attraction with open arms._

Aubrey? Really? You think I’ve got a chance with her?

Cass laughed again.

_Asshole._

I love it when you talk dirty to me. But seriously, I hope you and I are thinking of the same woman. 

_Gonna be super-awkward when we see each other again if we’re not._

The last thing I want is an awkward reunion. Which is why I’ll show up naked.

_Whoa there. A wedding on the first date is a little over-eager, don’t ya think?_

You can do other things in the buff, Cass. Frankly, a wedding is the last thing on my list of things I want to do while unclothed with a beautiful woman.

_Don’t let your mother hear you talk like that._

From their previous conversations, Cass knew Varik’s mother was a very traditional Betazoid who was always harassing him to settle down already.

Let’s avoid talking about my mother when we’re discussing potential nudity, okay?

They could feel each other’s amusement through the connection. Amusement and growing arousal.

_Well then tell me more about things you’d like to do naked – or otherwise – on our first date…_

I’ll do you a step better and show you.

Varik pushed a mental image through the connection of running his hand up Cass’s back. She was fully clothed and his touch was light – just skimming her spine until he reached the nape of her neck. She gasped as she imagined the feel of his fingers on her back.

That’s just the start.

_Go on…_

In the he next image he sent her, he grabbed her hips to pull her closer to him. Again, his touch was gentle, though this time more firm. The mental projection continued. He pulled her to him and they embraced, her hands on his shoulders. Their faces drew closer. They were seconds from kissing. Varik lingered on that moment, focusing on the anticipation before the first kiss – in turns both sublime and excruciating. Cass sucked her breath in on her end of the connection.

She had never known a man to spend his time picturing the details like Varik did. Cass was no stranger to sex. She didn’t have Aubrey’s same compulsion to collect sexual partners like they were Pokémon but she had a healthy libido and didn’t mind exercising it. In her experiences, men wanted to get to the big events – they focused on tits and ass and the many ways they could intert their genitals into any orifice that would allow for them. Varik was different. She realized he was the first man to woo her by paying attention to the same kinds of things that made intimacy enjoyable for her – the little moments.

In return for the fantasies he had just shared, Cass pushed her own image through the connection to him. In it, she moved her hands from where they had been resting when his vision had ended. From his broad shoulders, Cass tentatively ran a hand along his jaw, enjoying the feel of his muscles tightening beneath her touch. She caressed his cheek and her other hand wrapped around his back, rising up his neck as her fingers tangled with his hair. She imagined a hitch in his breath as their lips touched softly. Their first kiss was sweet and simple as they savored the taste and smell of one another. She relished the pleasure she felt ripple through both ends of the connection.

Who knew you would end up being so chaste?

_You tell anyone and I’ll deny it to my dying day._

This is our secret.

_If you’d told me back when we were working together that we’d end up here, doing this, I would have laughed at you._

Look, I’m an optimist and even I would’ve laughed at the idea of you letting me in like this.

_What happens next?_

I don’t want to spoil that “where do babies come from” talk that Aubrey’s gonna have with you one of these days, but it gets less chaste.

_Oh god. The idea of Aubrey trying to explain sex is terrifying._

Well, maybe this will make up for that.

Varik picked up where Cass had left off, allowing for another innocent kiss before pressing his lips against hers a bit harder and deepening the kiss. She gasped as she felt the ghosts of their kisses on her actual lips. He could feel her reaction and it fueled his desire. He took his time, still lingering on details – what it felt like to press his tongue against hers, what it sounded like when he pulled her closer to him and whispered in her ear that he’d waited such a long time to feel her like like this. Cass let a tiny moan escape her lips and worried that her new crewmates might wonder what she was up to in her bunk but both of them had fallen asleep, the ship on autopilot for the next few hours.

Cass hadn’t anticipated spending her first night on a new ship with complete strangers fighting to keep quiet so the other crewmates wouldn’t know what she was doing. The secretive nature of her conversation with Varik made her orgasm all the more satisfying when it happened. And they did not stop sharing pieces of their mutual fantasy with one another until both Cass and Varik had been satiated, in Cass’s case, twice.

Cass had never used her telepathy to reach sexual satisfaction. There had been numerous times in the field that she had manipulated a mark’s mind to allow for a certain amount of seduction on her part but this was different. What she and Varik had done had been solely for their mutual pleasure and she’d let him see her stripped of all defenses. She wasn’t sure she could think of another man she’d allowed to get so close. The strange thing was, she felt none of the expected regret or shame that she’d always assumed she would have after exposing so much of herself to someone else. In the aftermath, both telepaths were exhausted.

_I should let you go. I’m so sleepy now._

You’re happier too. I’m glad. And you know, you don’t have to cut the connection.

_What do you mean?_

You can just go to sleep. And the connection will still be there. When we wake up in the morning, it’ll be a little like waking up next to each other.

Varik wondered if he’d taken things a step too far. This was Cass, after all. The fact that she’d let him see so much of her mind and emotions was already monumental. He didn’t want to press his luck. But then he felt a timid approval through the connection.

_I’d really like that. Are you sure? It won’t get you in trouble?_

I don’t think so. Like I said, I seem to be safe here right now.

_Well, okay then. See you in the morning, Ibol._

‘Night, Cass. Sleep well.

In the morning, the telepaths woke up still connected and spent a few extra minutes in their respective beds, talking to one another before closing the connection to get on with their days. In spite of her complete lack of enthusiasm for her new assignment, Cass spent the rest of the day in a good mood, reliving highlights from her connection with Varik. And the Section 31 agent had an extra spring in his step as he moved through the office, unbothered by the trackers he felt around him, guarding his thoughts about Cass from their prying minds.


	70. Chapter 70

Khan had lost his crew; he was sure of it. Once Admiral Marcus had discovered his deceit and confiscated the weapons, there was no doubt in Khan’s mind that the man had either killed off the remaining Augments by breaking the cryotubes, or he’d added the missiles to various starships to be used. Marcus would get his due and Khan’s plan hinged on using the very research Marcus had given him to combining Augment blood with regular human blood.

The report he’d been given had impressed Khan. He felt confident its author, Sabine Latour, had a much better understanding of Augments, and augmentation as a process, than anyone he’d yet met since being awoken. He knew this woman was one of twelve missing people Marcus had so hoped to find. While he hated Marcus and wanted the man to fail on every front. Khan now wanted to find these half-breeds for himself. If they had even less than a quarter of the superior genes he and his kind had, they would still be useful. And judging from the well-thought and correct calculations in the research he’d read, he had every confidence they were better than the human idiots surrounding him currently.

Once Khan had successfully drawn his own blood and followed the directions provided in the research, he was ready to move to the next step. The tests came at the expense of one of his guards; he drugged the man, who promptly fell asleep at which point he injected his treated blood into the unsuspecting man. When the guard awoke, he was embarrassed to have dozed off and Khan promised him he would say nothing – it had all been too easy. For several weeks, Khan monitored the guard. He had slipped a tracker in when he’d injected his blood and it gave him the guard’s vitals. They were perfect – better than he’d expected. The guard now had lower cholesterol, a stronger heart rate, a faster metabolism than he’d ever had before. He couldn’t help but comment to his friends how great he’d been feeling lately. But of course, Khan thought as he listened to the insipid conversations of the guards. Of course he felt better – he had no idea the strength he’d been given. Too bad he wouldn’t live long enough to enjoy it.

The next part would be trickier. Khan scanned the files of every employee in the London headquarters of Section 31. That he’d been granted such great access to confidential information was only one of several missteps Marcus had made. He’d believed he could woo Khan with the vastness of Federation knowledge but Khan would use that information – every last drop of it – against the Admiral. He would make the Admiral weep for the day he’d given John Harrison access to all the files under his care. Khan would exploit all of it now that his crew had been jeopardized. He’d know it was a risk, hiding them in torpedoes. He hadn’t anticipated Marcus having the foresight to check the missiles before they were shipped to the USS Vengeance. His original plan to take over the dreadnaught class ship would be scrapped but in its place, he was creating a new plan – one that would wreak greater havoc on these meaningless, inferior humans. Khan would take over the galaxy – when he was done, no one would remember Starfleet or the Federation. It would be so satisfying to rule again. He could almost taste the sweet victory over his current captors. It would be delicious to watch them scramble for protection – to beg for mercy only to die at his hand.

After examining the files of Section 31 employees in London, he narrowed his list down to those most susceptible to his unique offer – anyone diagnosed with an incurable disease. But he almost clapped his hands in delight when he came across Thomas Harewood. The man was a relatively new agent for the Section but what made him so perfect was his sick daughter. She had stage five leukemia – the diagnosis was a death sentence and that was exactly what Khan needed. People were more hesitant to save themselves but what father could resist a cure for his daughter? It was too perfect.

He would provide Harewood with a treated sample of his blood – one that was ready to mix with that of a non-augmented 23rd century child. He’d use the invaluable research provided by Section 31. Harewood would have the cure for his daughter and in exchange, he would detonate an explosive in the Section 31 office given to him by Khan. Marcus would gather all the senior command in San Francisco and when he did, Khan would be there to gun each and every one of them down. From there, he would escape and regroup – perhaps begin his mission to find the half-breeds now hiding in the galaxy. He’d memorized Marcus’s files – he had names and suspected locations. He’d find all of them and rebuild his crew. Whether they wanted to kneel to him or not, it wouldn’t matter. Once he was done with them, they’d do whatever he asked. It was beyond unfortunate he’d lost his own purebred crew. Having to settle for half-breeds angered him. And he would take out his anger and aggression on the Federation. They would regret the day they’d ever decided to disturb his long slumber.


	71. Chapter 71

_I have a plan and I do not think you will like it._

Cass sighed. Why was she not surprised? Of course Sabine had a plan. Of course she’d hate it. When she’d received Sabine’s PADD message asking her to reach out, she should’ve ignored it. Only she’d felt bad for how cold she’d been when they’d dumped Sabine on her new planet. That was the whole reason she was in this shithole now, her sister God-knows-where – because she hadn’t been nice enough to Sabine. She felt like she owed it to the other telepath to listen to her. Now she was wishing she had ignored the message.

Then why are you telling me?

_Because I would like your help._

Jesus tap-dancing Christ, I can tell I’m gonna hate this already. What?

Cass was itching for a drink. It had been hours since she’d had one. She didn’t bother to worry about what it meant that she couldn’t go a full day without being hammered. She was alone in the apartment she was sharing with the Andorian and Tellarite on Orion. Their mission was taking longer to complete than they’d hoped, in part because Cass was completely uninterested in the mission and had taken to drinking more often out of a dangerous combination of boredom, anger, and restlessness. The complaints of her teammates had made it to Aubrey but her older sister didn’t intervene. She knew Cass needed to hit rock-bottom before she’d come back around. Varik had told Cass point-blank that she needed to get ahold of herself and she knew he was right but she felt too depressed and miserable to actually make a move in the right direction.

_I want to reenlist in Starfleet medical._

The fuck? Why would you do that, especially now of all times?

_I want to have access to Starfleet records. I want to be able to keep tabs on them. I want to know what is happening._

What do you mean? Keep tabs on who?

_Mmm, Admiral Marcus – Section 31 – Khan. I want to know what is going on. I do not want to be taken by surprise again. I want a life I can stay in for more than a year at a time. I want my life back – as much of it as I can still have._

You can’t do this. It’s suicide.

Cass ignored the sorrow she was feeling from Sabine. She knew the other woman wanted more than just peace – she wanted McCoy back. But they both knew that was out of her hands. So instead, Sabine wanted to run around saving the universe. Great. Why couldn’t she pick a safer hobby, like making torpedoes?

_I can. I just need your help to establish a different identity. I need to be someone who has already gone through the Academy._

When they had moved her to Planet X0-19, they’d given her an identity that allowed her to practice medicine, but not for Starfleet. Her current identity had no ties to Starfleet, with good reason.

Sabs, I can’t go grabbing you new identities every time you get a stupid idea in your head about bringing justice to the galaxy. What are you gonna do – walk into your current job with a new name and background? That’s not gonna work. Just stay put for now. Lay low. 

_No. Not anymore._

If you do this, you do it on your own. I’m not helping you get caught.

_They have taken everything from me, Cass. I am alone. And miserable. I will not sit here and wait for them to take my life or anyone else I care about._

No. I’m not helping you. And stop acting like a martyr.

_Fine. I will find another way._

Goddammit, Sabs.

But the other woman had already severed the connection. Cass sighed and grabbed a bottle. Now all her hard work keeping the Resurrection crew safe would be lost because they were all gonna succumb to delusions of grandeur. Dammit, why couldn’t they just be happy they were alive? Probably the same reason she was trying to drink herself to death. None of them had been meant for simple lives, had they? They’d all been trained to “keep the peace.” She supposed she should be glad they had kept quiet for this long. If Sabine was getting restless, who knew what trouble the others were getting into. She took a swig straight from the bottle. Cass wanted to be numb. Varik was still being followed intermittently by telepathic trackers so their conversations were sporadic. She was avoiding any contact with Bones, Sabine was going rogue, and her sister was still ignoring her existence. There was nothing left worth feeling.

* * *

_Honestly, I’m more worried about what all that alcohol is doing to you than I am Sabine and the gang getting themselves caught._

Ibol, I promise. I’m not drinking as much as I was before. I can’t – I’m really scared she’s gonna get herself killed if she finds a way to access Starfleet files.

It was true. In the immediate aftermath of her conversation with Sabine, Cass had gotten wasted. But when she’d woken up, with a hangover that felt like it should have been spread among ten people instead of heaped up on just her, Cass had thrown out every liquor bottle in the apartment. She’d been sober, and cranky, for the past several days.

_I’m glad you’re finally coming around on the drinking. As for Sabine, how likely is it she’ll actually procure a new fake identity?_

Depends on who she reaches out to for help.

_You mean Aubrey?_

No, I don’t think so. Aubrey’s crazy but even she would refuse that kind of request – not because she can’t do it but because she realizes how important it is for them to stay off the radar.

_Well, for now, don’t stress too much. If Sabine can’t find someone to get her a new identity, there’s no need to get worked up about it. Besides, the focus here seems to have shifted away from the Resurrection group._

Really?

_Yeah, Marcus seems more interested in whatever project he’s working on in London. I haven’t been tracked in a few weeks – here or at home._

That’s great news!

_I know. I waited to tell you because I wanted to be sure – take no chances, and all that. Who knows? Maybe I’ll take some time off and go on a vacation soon._

You’re serious?

Varik could feel Cass’s excitement through the connection and he smiled.

_Dead serious. I never joke about something as sacred as time off. Gonna be hard to plan where I’m going though. That’s the thing about wanting to visit beautiful, illegal smugglers – you never know where they’re gonna be at any given time._

If you’re taking time off, I will make sure I’m in one place for the whole time. And that you know exactly where that place is.

_Looks like we have ourselves a plan then._

They talked for a bit more before Varik told Cass he needed to end the connection and get back to work from his lunch break. She agreed to let him go and look forward to future communications about when he’d visit – he was hoping to take some time off in the next couple of weeks. At the last moment, just before he cut the connection off, Cass felt a rush of affection and anxiety.

Hey! Before you go, I just want you to know – I…I’m thinking about you. Take care of yourself between now and when we finally see each other again, okay?

Varik could feel her nervousness and tenderness through the connection. He realized this might be the closest she’d ever come to telling a man she loved him and it filled him with a happy warmth.

_I’ll be careful. And I love you._

He cut the connection before she could respond. She wasn’t the only one who liked getting the last word in and he smiled as he thought about how far they’d come in the space of several months. He’d never thought he’d be comfortable enough with her to tell her he loved her.

Meanwhile, Cass was dumbfounded for a moment after the connection ended. He loved her? Really? A giddy smile appeared on her face without her consent. He loved her. It was the best news she’d gotten in a long time.

* * *

Sabine had known Cass would be a tough sell on the whole rejoining Starfleet idea. What she hadn’t anticipated is the despair and anguish that had leaked through their connection. She knew, from conversations with Aubrey, that the sisters had gone through a falling-out of sorts, for reasons Aubrey wanted to keep to herself. She hadn’t approached Aubrey yet regarding a new identity because the last time the older Pike sister had reached out to her, she had mentioned she might have Section 31 on her tail and Sabine knew the best thing was to let Aubrey contact her when she was certain no one was following her.

In the meantime, Sabine scrolled through her PADD. A few months into her stay on Nara II, she’d received a message from Theo and Oliver. She’d never replied, in an effort to follow the rules laid out by Cass. But she couldn’t think of two people better suited to helping her get a fake identity (besides Cass and Aubrey).

_Hi boys. I know I took my sweet time responding. How are you two? Would you be willing to do me a tiny favor?_

It took all of a couple of hours to get a response.

_Hey bird, thought we’d never hear from you. How’s life way out there? Don’t worry, the secret’s safe with us. What do you need? Want to meet in person to discuss? We can come to you._

They knew where she was. She quickly replied and they set up a meeting in person. A day later, she was hugging each of them fiercely as they stepped off the transporter pad closest to where she lived. She was so excited to see old friends again. They were ready to help her get a new identity and filled her in on everyone else. It turned out Theo and Oliver were better spies than anyone in Section 31. They’d kept up with the whole gang. They knew Adjoa had ended up in the Beta quadrant, living on one of the Klingon colonies. She was loving it. John was enjoying his time on Andoria; Maria had met a nice Tellarite. They had tabs on everyone.

A few days later, new identity in hand, Sabine went to the local Starfleet hospital to interview for a position there in pediatrics. It didn’t matter to her which field she was in, as long as she could get into their databases. It would take a few days before she’d know whether she got the job but in the meantime, she knew her friends were still safe. Sabine wouldn’t call herself happy, per se, but she was far from miserable. And now she knew how to contact the others. A few days later, she got the job.

* * *

Sabine: _Hi! I talked to the dynamic duo of T &O the other day. They told me you are in new territory now! How is it?_

Adjoa: _I am so happy to hear from you! It is amazing here. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy it. And it is even better now hearing from you. I miss you!_

Sabine: _Tu me manques aussi, ma puce!_

Anthony: _English, ladies. Speak English so the rest of us can join your love-fest. Also, are we ever going to address how weird it is that you guys use flea as a term of endearment?_

Adjoa: _Excuse me, that would be Standard, not English. Get with the times._

Sabine: _We will talk about flea after we all agree that “dude” is a stupid word and I cannot believe it is still being used two centuries later._

John: _Cool story, dude. French has fifty letters in every word and you only pronounce half of them. What a waste._

Anthony: _As the Canadian here, I’d just like to state that both French and English are messed-up languages. Can’t we all agree on that and get along?_

Adjoa: _You only think French is messed up because of that stupid Quebecquois accent._

Sabine: _Adjoa, yes! I miss making fun of that accent!_

Anthony: _I’d be hurt but yeah, French Canadians talk funny._

Adjoa: _You would be hurt but you are too polite for that._

Anthony: _Oh no – Canadians are too nice. If that’s the worst you can say about us, I’ll take it._

John: _How’s it going out there, y’all? Sometimes I’m so lonely, I almost wish we were back at the Academy, dealing with all that crap._

Sabine: _I miss the Academy too. Remember thinking that the worst thing we would face would be some pushy recruitment into spyland? But so far, so good, right? It will be okay._

John: _Or we’ll all die._

Anthony: _Thinking positive for the win!_

John: _Did you hear about our former fearless leader?_

Adjoa: _What? Tell us everything!_

John: _The dumbass almost got himself killed on Rigel X because he didn’t realize Romulan and Vulcan aren’t the same language. He asked for directions and then told the guy to fuck off instead of thanking him._

Sabine: _Amazing. How are M & M?_

Maria: _I’m good. Not sure about the other M. Can’t believe I missed another round of English vs. French._ _Dammit! Todos sabemos que el español es el major._

Mía: _El español, la idioma universal!_ _I am good too. I miss all of you!_

Maria: _You know, if so many of us Spanish-speakers hadn’t been killed in WWIII, maybe Spanish really would be the universal language – Standard. Ever think of that?_

Adjoa: _Stupid colonizers._

Sabine: _Hey! That would be me you speak of, if you are talking about who colonized Togo!_

Adjoa: _Obviously, I am not referring to you._

John: _Hint – She’s talking about the white people! Sorry we destroyed the world that one time._

Adjoa: _Just one time?_

Anthony: _I hadn’t thought about the Spanish thing before now. But I have wondered why the entire galaxy agreed to English as its official language. Why aren’t we speaking Vulcan instead?_

Sabine: _I was talking to a Vulcan about this recently! He said they chose English for Standard because of all the founding Federation languages, it was actually the easiest for most species to pronounce and learn – even with all its idiosyncrasies. Can you imagine?_

Mía: _Should have been Spanish – so much easier than English. Hey, remember getting yelled at for eating lunches together at the Academy?_

John: _Ah, the good old days, pre genocidal-augments-being-awakened-for-genetic-experimentation._

Anthony: _Do we know if that’s actually happened? Has anyone heard anything that makes this whole “go into hiding” thing worth it?_

Sabine: _I am working on getting an answer to your questions right now. But T &O would be the best ones to ask. They know everything._

Mía: _Maybe it is us. Maybe we attract this kind of shit, regardless of the time period._

Sabine: _Well, that is a depressing thought._

Seiji: _You guys can fuck right off. I do too know the difference between Romulan and Vulcan. That guy was just an asshole._

Anthony: _Classic S. Always right._

Seiji: _Blow me._

Anthony: _Can’t. I’m busy not getting beat up by other beings for my piss-poor language skills._

Seiji: _I’d like to point out that if JL were on here, she’d be lecturing all your asses about how Chinese should have been the predominant language after WWIII. She’d be wrong since China spent most of WWIII in its own civil war, which decimated its population, but she’d be making the argument anyway._

Jinjing: _It would be nice if some people would not speak for others. You are not the only one to read WWIII history PADDs, dummy. Maybe you should spend more time reading How To Speak Romulan._

Tatyana: _Who knew it be S getting funnies because he not speak well instead of me?_

John: _My lil ruskie! How are you, sweetie?_

Tatyana: _Am alive. And well. Not being mocked for bad language like S._

Seiji: _You can all kiss my ass._

John: _Bend over, please!_

The chain of messages continued to grow as more crew members started reaching out to one another. Within an hour, they were all on the same message chain, sharing stories and poking fun at one another. They knew it was a risk, even with the encrypted PADDs and avoidance of proper names and locations, but the comfort they got from talking to one another outweighed the dangers in all their minds. It had been over a year. Surely Section 31 had better things to do than hunt them down. They were all lulled into a false sense of security.

* * *

Ibol Varik had done just as the message on his PADD advised. He had kept quiet. Several times, leaks had filtered out about progress the Section had made in finding Resurrection crew members. One leak even claimed they had Sabine there at the Academy, just as they had captured the others months ago. Varik had ignored all of it. He knew it was possible bait and if it ended up being true, Cass would have to find out from someone other than him. She’d told him to keep safe and that was exactly what he’d done. The only thing that still frustrated him was that he was no closer to figuring out who had sent him the warning in the first place than he’d been all those months ago.

His budding relationship with Cass had initially been hurt by his need to keep a low profile but now things were getting back to normal and he couldn’t help but think about how amazing it was going to be to see her face to face. All those months, when he’d worried over whether she realized his silence was forced, were over and now they could talk to one another again. Things were finally looking better, not just for him and Cass, but for the whole Resurrection crew.

Meanwhile, Alexander Marcus was impatient. None of his conversations with Chris Pike had been of any use to him. The leak had apparently decided to clam up, despite best efforts to draw them out. Harrison had tried to double-cross him and enough was enough. He made a decision – he’d have every agent suspected of the Resurrection leaks killed. It would surely send a message not just to the agency but to that stupid Pike bitch.

And so, Varik found himself called to Marcus’s office for a reassignment. He wasn’t nervous as he made his way to the meeting. It had been months since he’d leaked information, he’d just come to the end of a project and was ready for a new assignment, and it was the middle of the day. People didn’t get killed in the office at 1300 hours.

It wasn’t till he sat down and Marcus looked up at him, a tight smile on his face, that Varik began to feel the first stirrings of unease. But he never had the chance to feel a full panic. Marcus used the newest technology Section 31 had created – with Harrison’s help of course. A silent yet potent phaser that disintegrated the body so thoroughly, there was nothing left behind. The agent didn’t even have time to rise from his chair. And the phaser ensured the chair was clean as a whistle. Marcus smiled to himself when it was all over. Every suspected leaker had now been terminated.

* * *

Cass stared at the encrypted message on her PADD. She had no idea who it was from or if it was true.

_You don’t know me and I don’t want to change that. Agent Varik is dead, along with 5 other agents suspected of leaking information on the Resurrection recovery project. I’m telling you this so that you’ll do what you need to keep those people out of Section 31’s hands._

She didn’t know if she should believe the message but she tentatively reached out to Varik….and felt nothing. Immediately, she started rationalizing the lack of his presence. Maybe he was masking himself. But she knew. In the pit of her stomach, she knew he was dead. And she knew the Section would be watching for a sign of her reaction. They hadn’t given up the search.

Tears were falling down her face before she realized the sound she was hearing was her own cry. She curled up into herself as she laid down. For a few minutes, she let herself cry – sobs that wracked her chest. This was pain, grief in its raw glory, shaking her body because tear ducts could only release so much. After she had reached a fever pitch, she began to calm down, to at least stop shaking, though the tears continued. She sat up and wiped her face.

Now she understood why you never let people get close to you. It wasn’t just that you couldn’t trust the other person. It was because you couldn’t trust what might happen to the other person. She’d been trained to be hard and unfeeling – to use her emotional and mental skills as weapons. And for a little bit, she’d forgotten her training and let her shields down. She wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. And that meant she needed to make sure the Resurrection crew was safe. She would not be the reason another life was lost.

Cass reached out to Aubrey.

 Hey.

_Hello. To what do I owe this? Do you need more credits for drinks?_

Cass knew she deserved that cheap shot. She had abandoned the mission on Orion, leaving Aubrey’s colleagues in a lurch. And it was true she’d spent too much time recently drinking. Aubrey had been so silent, it was almost deafening.

Look, I know I’ve been a bitch.

_That’s a mild way of describing it. Go on…._

Varik – he’s dead. They killed him, Aubrey.

_Oh shit. I’m sorry. I know you really cared about him._

I’m worried. I know the gang has been getting restless. Sabine got herself a new identity as a Starfleet doctor so she could hack into their databases.

_Wow. I’d be impressed if I weren’t so worried she’d get us all killed._

You and me both. Anyway, I think they’re gonna do something stupid and get themselves recaptured.

_Well, they’re already talking to each other on their PADDs._

What the fuck?

_Yeah, I’ve been monitoring them while you’ve been trying to enshrine your liver in alcohol._

Aubrey, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Whatever you want me to do to make it up to you, I’ll do. But we have to keep these idiots alive and safe. I can’t lose anyone else.

Cass felt the tears start falling again and she knew her sister could feel them too.

_Oh God, stop crying, you big baby._

In the face of strong emotions, Aubrey’s weapons were deflection and minimization. She could feel Cass’s heartbreak and if they’d been face to face, she may have broken down and offered her sister a rare hug. But they weren’t face to face and she wasn’t going to let emotions take control.

_I’ll come get you tonight. I’m not that far away. But we do have a problem._

What?

_I think I’m being tailed by your former employer and they’ve got a strong telepath with them. I’m gonna need your help with him._

We can do this. I promise.

_You gonna stay sober and pull yourself together?_

Yes. I swear.

_Good. I’ve missed your face. See you soon._


	72. Chapter 72

The man held his hand tightly against Commodore Nighy’s forehead. An empty hypospray rolled across the floor.

“Listen to me and listen well,” he said in a deep voice that seemed to cut through her. “You will find the members of the Resurrection crew. You will use this,” in his free hand he held up a device to her eyes, “to gather the contents of their minds. Each and every one of them. And when you are done, you will present the results to me. Are we clear?”

He stared at her with a singular intent and she nodded weakly.

“Good. Now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” John Harrison, known to only a handful of people as Khan, released his grip on Commodore Nighy’s forehead and she sank down so that her feet were once again touching the floor.

“If…,” her voice was raw and she cleared her throat to start again. “If I might ask some questions?”

“Go on,” the tall, pale man replied, nodding to her.

“How should I go about tracking the crew members down? Admiral Marcus has been looking for them for almost a year with limited success.”

Khan smiled at her – a smile that could freeze blood. “Well then, you will have to be more successful than him, won’t you? Gather your best agents and get to work.”

“But the Section will wonder what we are doing,” Commodore Nighy replied in confusion.

“You do not work for the Section anymore,” Khan shouted. He took a breath and began again, more calmly. “As of right now, you work for me. And the agents you select? They work for me as well.”

“Yes, sir,” the Commodore replied. “Do you have a preference for which crew member we seek out first?”

Khan thought about it. “Why not start with the most important? Find the telepath.”

“Of course, sir,” Commodore Nighy replied.

“Oh, and Commodore?” Khan turned to her with a smile.

“Yes?”

“You’ll want to start working from home as of now. Just between you and I? This office won’t be around much longer.”

“Whatever you’d prefer, sir.”

“Good,” Khan practically purred. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have something else to attend to.”

Before Commodore Nighy could respond, the man transported out of her office.

She was in a daze – almost a trancelike state. From this moment on, she would not rest until she had found every member of the Resurrection crew and collected what Khan desired. He had used telepathy and blood to enter her mind and persuade her to do his bidding. He had chosen her because he knew how she had always advocated for the humane treatment of the displaced crew. She, of all the people who knew about the Resurrection Project, had objected to Admiral Marcus’s plans at every step. So what sweet irony it would be to have her in charge of bringing the crew under his power. She would find the most capable agents available, though that meant little to Khan because he remained unimpressed with humans in this new time period. But the agents would believe her when she told them they were working for a good cause. She had a reputation for fairness, for idealism. Khan would exploit that reputation for his own gain.

Khan would check in with her after he was done with Marcus. His primary goal was to make Marcus pay for the deaths of his crew. After Marcus was dead, Khan could think about what he would do with his new crew – the Resurrection members. They would submit easily to him, of that he was certain. There was no one who could stop him.

Inside Commodore Nighy’s head, a part of her screamed out in agony. She could not do this. She would not deliver the crew members to this mad man – would not collect the contents of their minds. But that part was locked up in her subconscious and could only watch as she began to comm agents to meet with her for a new mission. She’d been a fool to agree to meet with “Agent Harrison.” She’d thought she could reason with the man – bring him back into the fold, promise him he would be protected from Marcus. But she’d never had the chance to win him over. He had walked into her office, waited until the door was shut, then quickly rounded her desk and grabbed her with a strength she had only read about in reports. He’d held her by her forehead a quarter meter off the ground, merging minds with her and quickly suppressing her resistance. From now on, she was under his control. The only way his control over her could be destroyed would be for Khan himself to be killed.


	73. Chapter 73

“Who does that pointy-eared bastard think he is? I’d rather be hog-tied and branded than serve another minute with him.”

Jim grimaced at McCoy’s utterance. He knew it was coming from a good place – a place of loyalty – but the last thing he wanted, besides his recent demotion back to the Academy, was to see the crew of the Enterprise fall apart in his absence.

“You gotta stay on. The Enterprise needs every good crew member it can get.”

“Look, I told you I wanted a break from space before all this happened. Why in God’s name would I stay on now?”

“What’re you gonna do if you’re not CMO?”

McCoy shrugged. “Same thing I’m doin’ right now – work at the Academy clinic? Maybe get a job at the hospital? I can practice medicine anywhere, you know.”

And that was the crux of the matter, McCoy thought to himself as he sipped on his bourbon. He wasn’t limited by the need to be in space…but for Jim? Being a captain of a ship was what the younger man was born to do. This demotion was a death sentence. Goddamn Spock. Why’d he file a separate report? Christ.

“Jim, I gotta run. Early morning at the clinic tomorrow. You gonna be okay?”

The other man nodded as he stared at his almost empty glass. It was time for another whisky. The friends had gotten together at one of their former favorite dive bars after Jim had gotten out of his meeting with Admiral Pike. He’d gone into the meeting with such high hopes. Within the span of minutes, he’d fallen from the high of thinking the Enterprise would be selected for a 5-year mission to the low of having his commission as captain, and the ship, taken away from him. McCoy might have an early morning, but Jim was determined to drink himself silly…or maybe end up at home with the attractive brunette he’d just noticed now that his friend had stood up to leave.

McCoy gave Jim a pat on the shoulder and left the bar. As he was exiting, Christopher Pike was entering.

“Leonard,” the older man called out amiably. “Is Jim inside?”

“Yes, sir,” McCoy answered. He always felt a little awkward around Admiral Pike. He knew Jim looked at the man like a father but he couldn’t help remembering the hours he spent in surgery trying to ensure Pike would live after the Nero incident. He couldn’t forget having to tell the Admiral he’d be confined to a wheelchair for the first six months after their return to Earth. He hoped he’d done right by the man. It was good to see Admiral Pike was walking again, even if he still needed a cane.

“Just my luck. This was the first bar I came to. How is he?”

“Well…” McCoy wasn’t sure how honest he should be.

“This is off the record, Doctor,” Pike helpfully prodded.

“He’s pretty upset, sir.”

“I’d be worried if he weren’t. I’ve got some good news for him.” McCoy raised his eyebrow quizzically and Pike continued. “They’ve given me the Enterprise and I’ve convinced them to reinstate him as my first officer.”

“That’s great, sir.” Great was a relative term in this situation but it sure beat Jim being stuck planetside. “But what about Commander Spock?”

“He’s been reassigned to the USS Bradbury.”

McCoy felt a certain grim satisfaction that Spock had been pushed off the Enterprise. That’d teach the old hobgoblin to rat out his friends.

“I’m going to tell Jim now.”

“He’s at the bar, sir.”

“Of course he is,” Pike turned to enter the building then turned back. “Oh and Doctor?”

McCoy looked over at the Admiral.

“I expect you on there too. Don’t go turning those papers in quite yet. You’re the best CMO Starfleet has right now.”

“Yes sir.” McCoy sighed internally. He’d already assumed with Jim back on the Enterprise, his window for escape had closed. Oh well. It had been a nice dream for all of an hour or two.

* * *

 

A few hours later, McCoy received the alert on his PADD and turned his holovid on to watch the coverage. Daystrom had been attacked – they believed it was the same individual responsible for the bombing of a Starfleet archival building in London. McCoy felt a pit in his stomach. He tried comming Jim but there was no answer. The clinic probably needed extra hands so he made his way there. On the way, Scotty commed him.

“Doctor, what in the blazes is going on?”

“I wish I knew, Scotty. I’m headed to the clinic now.”

After that, he started receiving comms from the other senior officers of the Enterprise – Sulu, Chekov, even Cupcake. None of them had any answers. Some of them were completely unaware of what had happened earlier in the day – Jim’s demotion. McCoy didn’t want to be the one to tell them so he stayed silent. Upon arriving at the clinic and discovering that most of the people at Daystrom had died on site, he made his own comm.

“Ny,” he said as Uhura picked up. “Have you heard from Spock?”

“No,” she said with anguish in her voice. “I was planning on heading over right now.”

“I’ll meet you there.” He was useless at the clinic – an extra hand for injuries that wouldn’t show up. No one needed a surgeon for body bags.

They met at the Daystrom building a few minutes later. McCoy could tell by her tear-streaked cheeks that Uhura had assumed the worst. Apparently all senior command had been assembled for a meeting. What a perfectly awful time for an attack. McCoy slowly realized that had been the point. To take out as many ranking officials as possible. Whoever had done this was a sick bastard.

They weren’t allowed past the police barriers but Spock was the first of the Enterprise crew (or former crew?) they found and he met them at the barrier, requesting they be permitted to pass. His request was granted.

“Spock, what the hell happened?” McCoy asked. Uhura was decidedly silent. Apparently, the couple still hadn’t worked through their issues from Spock’s near-death experience on Nibiru. McCoy wasn’t going to touch that conflict with a ten-foot pole.

“We were fired upon by a rogue Starfleet agent,” Spock replied, as though relating the weather. “It was his plan from the beginning.”

“Is Jim okay?”

“He is alive,” the Vulcan responded.

“Dammit, Spock, what kinda answer is that? Did he get hurt?”

“He is unharmed physically,” Spock started and then stopped, as though unclear on how to proceed.

“Spock, what is it?” Uhura finally snapped.

“He is emotionally unwell. Admiral Pike was one of the fatalities and I do not think Commander Kirk is taking the loss well.”

Uhura’s eyes flashed with confusion. “Pike’s dead? And Jim’s a commander now?”

“Where is he?” McCoy asked with less politeness than the situation may have dictated. If Pike was dead, Jim would be devastated. He needed friendly assistance, not this goddamn robot with bad bangs.

“He is over by the medical tents,” Spock responded. “I have been cleared to leave,” he said to Uhura. McCoy left the two lovers to figure out their own shit. He had more pressing matters to attend to.

He made it over to the tents and noticed neither Uhura or Spock joined him. After he found Jim and made sure his friend was okay, he’d like to be a fly on the wall for whatever conversation they were having. He’d never understood how Nyota put up with all of Spock’s peculiarities.

By the time he’d found someone to direct him to where Pike’s body had been, he discovered both the body and Jim had moved to another location. Frantically, he sent Jim a message on his PADD.

_Jim, I’m so sorry. Let me know when you get this. Also, you should get a medical exam as soon as possible. When you’re ready, let me know. We can grab drinks afterward._

* * *

 

But he never heard back from Jim – at least not personally. The next day, early, the entire crew was ordered to Hanger One to return to the Enterprise at the order of Captain James T. Kirk. So Jim was captain again. Who knew what kind of emotional duress he was under? And why were they headed back to space so soon? McCoy had so many questions. He got his chance to ask at least one when he saw his old roommate in the hanger.

“Jim,” he called out. “Where were you?” McCoy wasn’t the best at emotional conversations so he decided to keep things professional.

“For what?” Jim asked, obviously preoccupied and in Captain-mode.

“Your medical exam,” McCoy replied. “Ten hours ago you were in a damn firefight. Now it’s my duty as ship’s –”

“I’m fine,” Jim interrupted.

“The hell you are,” McCoy retorted.

Jim turned to face him and he could see the exhaustion and sadness in his friend’s eyes.

“I’m fine,” Jim responded with an air of finality.

Well, okay, if that’s how he wanted to play this, McCoy would just conduct the exam right then and there. They made their way onto the shuttle.

“Status report, Mister Spock,” Kirk requested as they met the Vulcan and took their seats. McCoy positioned himself a row behind of Jim and Spock and opened his medical kit, grabbing a couple of scanners.

“The Enterprise should be ready for launch by the time we arrive,” Spock responded. A seat separated him and the captain.

“Good. Good,” Jim replied, still distracted by whatever thoughts were running through his head.

Spock spoke up again. “Captain. Thank you for requesting my reinstatement.”

“You're welcome,” Jim replied as McCoy held a sensor to him.

“As I am again your First Officer,” Spock continued, “it is now my duty to strongly object to our mission parameters.”

“Of course it is,” Jim replied and McCoy watched his stress level spike on the scanner.

Spock continued, imperturbable, as always. “There is no Starfleet regulation that condemns a man to die without a trial, something you and Admiral Marcus are forgetting. Also, preemptively firing torpedoes at the Klingon home-world goes against –”

Jim interrupted. “You yourself said the area's uninhabited. There's only going to be one casualty. And in case you weren't listening, our orders have nothing to do with Starfleet regulation.”

“Wait a minute,” McCoy interjected. “We're firing torpedoes at the Klingons?” Well, at least he now knew why they’d all been called back to the ship so fast. But attacking the Klingons seemed like a horrible way to get over the loss of Admiral Pike and the other senior command officers. McCoy was convinced Jim wasn’t thinking right.

“Regulations aside, this action is morally wrong,” Spock said.

“Regulations aside,” Jim shot back, “pulling your ass out of a volcano was morally right. And I didn't win any points for that.”

“Whoa, Jim, calm down,” McCoy cautioned as Jim’s stress levels spiked again. The kid was a mess. He needed some sedatives and probably a good night’s sleep.

“I'm not going to take ethics lessons from a robot!” Jim replied indignantly.

“Reverting to name-calling suggests that you are defensive and therefore find my opinion valid,” Spock responded calmly.

  
Jim was upset now. “I wasn't asking for your opinion. Bones, get that thing off my face.”

McCoy removed the scanner he’d been holding to Jim’s cheek. Every reading he was getting made him think the younger man wasn’t fit for duty.

Spock had to get the final word. “Captain, our mission could start a war with the Klingons and it is, by its very definition, immoral. Perhaps you should take the requisite time to arrive at this conclusion for yourself.” McCoy felt weird for agreeing with the Vulcan.

Before they could continue the argument a blonde woman approached Jim.

“Captain Kirk. Science Officer Wallace. I've been assigned to the Enterprise by Admiral Marcus. These are my transfer orders.”

“You requested an additional science officer, Captain?” asked Spock in what passed among Vulcans as an offended tone.

“I wish I had,” replied Jim as he read over the woman’s transfer orders on her PADD. “Lieutenant Carol Wallace. Doctorate in applied physics specialising in advanced weaponry.”

“Impressive credentials,” Spock commented.

“Thank you,” Carol replied.

“But redundant now that I am back aboard the Enterprise,” Spock added. McCoy resisted the urge to kick his seat.

“And yet, the more the merrier. Have a seat, Doctor,” Jim offered, gesturing to the empty seat between him and Spock.

“Thank you,” the woman replied, sitting down.

The shuttle prepared for liftoff and McCoy continued to run surreptitious tests on Jim while the captain and his first officer continued to bicker all the way to the ship.

* * *

 

Jim’s problems didn’t end once the shuttle docked on the ship. As he made his way to the payload bay with both Bones and Spock trailing him, he could hear a familiar Scottish voice raised in anger.

“No! I’m not signing anything! Now get these bloody things off my ship! Captain!” Scotty beckoned Jim over.

“Is there a problem, Mister Scott?”

McCoy continued his stealthy medical exam as the men talked.

“Aye, sir. I was just explaining to this gentlemen,” Scotty gestured to the Starfleet courier behind him, “that I cannae authorize any weapons on board this ship without knowing what’s inside them.”

“Mister Scott raises yet another point that the –”

Jim cut Spock off. “Report to the bridge,” he said curtly.

“Captain,” Spock responded with a nod before taking his leave.

“Mister Scott, I understand your concern but we need these torpedoes on board.”

“Due respect, sir,” Scotty responded, “but photon torpedoes run on fuel. Now, I cannae detect the type of fuel that is the compartments on these torpedoes because it’s shielded. Now, I asked for the specifications, but he said…”

“It’s classified,” the courier noted.

“It’s classified,” Scotty repeated. “So I said: no specs, no signature!”

Sulu called down from one of the upper boardwalks. “Captain. Flight check’s complete. We’re good to go, sir.”

“Thank you, Mister Sulu,” Jim responded before turning his attention back to Scotty.

“Yes, sir,” Sulu replied, taking off to get ready for departure.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, sir, I have a warp core to prime,” Scotty said before turning on his heel and yelling at Keenser to get off one of the torpedoes. McCoy saw his chance.

“Jim, your vitals are way off –”

“Report to the med bay,” Jim interrupted, his tone brooking no arguments. McCoy sighed and left for the medical bay as he heard Jim call out after Scotty. This mission was not starting out well for any of them.

Not long after McCoy had gotten to med bay and began organizing his staff and supplies, Jim made a ship-wide announcement. McCoy and his staff listened intently. Most of them had no idea why they’d been called back to the ship so soon.

“Attention, crew of the Enterprise. As most of you know, Christopher Pike, former captain of this ship and our friend, is dead. The man who killed him has fled our system and is hiding on the Klingon home-world, somewhere he believes we are unwilling to go. We are on our way there now.” That caused a stir among McCoy’s staff. “Per Admiral Marcus, it is essential that our presence go undetected.”

Hearing the name ‘Admiral Marcus’ gave McCoy that strange sense of déjà vu he occasionally suffered from. He winced as a headache swept through him.

“Tensions between the Federation and the Klingon Empire have been high,” Jim continued. “Any provocation could lead to an all-out war.” He paused then resumed. “I will personally lead a landing party to an abandoned city on the surface of Qo’noS where we will capture the fugitive, John Harrison, and return him to Earth so he can face judgment for his actions. All right. Let’s go get this son of a bitch. Kirk out.”

* * *

 

McCoy was able to cajole Jim into meeting him for lunch in the officer’s dining room. They were the only two people there. Jim had been filling Bones in on accepting Scotty’s resignation, and his decision to bring Harrison back alive as opposed to using the torpedoes. They then moved to talking about his meeting with Marcus.

“It was weird. When Marcus mentioned Section 31, I had this moment where I felt like I knew about it already. Like déjà vu but different. I know that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Did you get a headache, by any chance?”

Jim stared at McCoy. “Yeah…how’d you know?”

“It happens to me sometimes. Been happening for over a year now. Weirdest things will trigger this feeling of intense déjà vu and then the worst headaches I’ve ever had – but they’re brief –”

“Only a few seconds,” Jim interrupted. “Same thing’s been happening to me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Jim, I’m your doctor. You should tell me about this kind of stuff. I’ve had Doctor Chinga scan me several times already to determine what’s going on.”

“And what have you guys found?”

“Nothing yet,” McCoy admitted with an air of defeat. “But you still should have told me. What if this is happening ship-wide?”

“I know. I shoulda said something. But do you really think it’s happening to the entire crew? Has anyone else complained to you?”

“No. I was pretty sure before now I was the only one,” McCoy debated whether he should continue and decided he should. “It happened to me this morning, in fact. When you mentioned Admiral Marcus in your ship-wide announcement.”

“Should we start tracking when it happen? What triggers it?”

“Already ahead of you on that. But yeah, start noting what gives you the feeling as well as how long the headaches last. And, for God’s sake, tell me the next time it happens.”

“I will. I’m sorry, Bones. The past couple of days…”

“They’ve been rough, I know. I’m sorry about Pike. I know how much he meant to you.”

“Thanks. We should get to the bridge.”

The two men returned their trays and left the officer’s hall to rejoin everyone on the bridge. In some ways, McCoy was relieved to discover he wasn’t the only one experiencing these weird headaches but now he knew, more than ever, he needed to find a cure for them. Jim, out of all of them, needed to be on top of his game. He thought back to the conversation with Cass in his office all those months ago. He had a feeling she knew more about the headaches than she’d let on. He also realized they hadn’t heard from her since Daystrom. Did she know what had happened to her uncle? He sent her a quick message from his PADD once they’d made it to the bridge.

_Hey. Are you doing okay? Don’t know if you’ve been keeping up on Earth events. Comm me if you get a chance._

He hoped the message was sufficiently vague as to not give away too much in case she didn’t know while simultaneously letting her know he was there if she did know about Admiral Pike and needed comfort. It was a fine line to walk.

As he set his PADD down, the entire ship jolted.

“What the hell?” he asked as the rest of the bridge crew looked at one another in confusion. Sulu looked at his console.

“What was that?” Jim demanded.

“Engineering manually dropped us out of warp, sir,” replied Sulu.

“Mister Chekov, did you break my ship?” Jim asked through the ship communicator. They all heard Chekov’s panicked response.

“Sorry, sir! I don’t know what happened. The core overheated. I had to actiwate emergency stop. It must be a coolant leak. I need time to find it. Sorry, Keptin!”

“Dammit,” Kirk muttered. “Mister Sulu, time to our destination.”

“Twenty minutes, sir. That’s twenty minutes in enemy space we weren’t counting on.”

McCoy watched incredulously as Jim decided to go down to the planet anyway, choosing Uhura and Spock to go with him. Whatever was simmering between the couple was apparently still unresolved. But McCoy didn’t care about that – he couldn’t believe Jim was risking so much for this fool mission.

“Jim, you’re not actually going down there, are you? You don’t rob a bank when the getaway car has a flat tire.”

Rather than answer him directly, Jim activated his communicator to engineering.

“I’m sure Engineering will have us all patched up by the time we get back. Isn’t that right, Mister Chekov?”

“Yes, Keptin. I’ll do my best, sir,” came a very dubious-sounding reply from Chekov.

Jim turned to Sulu. “Mister Sulu, you have the conn. Once we’re en route, I want you to transmit a targeted comm burst to Harrison’s location. You tell him you have a bunch of real big torpedoes pointed at his head and if he doesn’t play nice, you’re not afraid to use them.” He and McCoy watched as Sulu hesitated to assume the Captain’s chair. “Is that a problem?”

“No sir,” Sulu replied slowly. “I’ve just never sat in the chair before.”

“You’re gonna do great,” Jim replied, as though he were talking to a kid learning to ride a bike.

McCoy couldn’t believe it. “Jim,” he whispered to his friend. “Wait! You just sat that man down at a high stakes poker game with no cards and told him to bluff. Now, Sulu’s a good man, but he is no captain.”

Jim whispered back as the two men moved to the bridge doors. “For the next two hours he is. And enough with the metaphors, alright? That’s an order.”

Jim turned back to Sulu. “Mister Sulu, make sure that K’normian ship is ready to fly.”

Sulu assumed his position in the chair and McCoy watched Jim leave. God help them all, this was insane, even by Jim’s standards.

“Acting Captain Sulu to Shuttle Bay Two,” Sulu ordered through the comms. “Please have the trade ship we confiscated during the Mudd incident last month fueled and flight ready. Captain Kirk is en route to you now.”


	74. Chapter 74

Cass hadn’t heard anything about events on Earth until she received McCoy’s PADD message, at which point, she quickly brought herself up to speed. Finding out Uncle Chris had died was a hard blow but she had Aubrey there to help her handle the grief constructively, without drinking. Thus far, the Resurrection gang had stopped PADDing one another regularly. She and Aubrey knew there were a few who continued to send one another messages but overall, the chatter had died down. She hoped news of her uncle’s death wouldn’t lead to messages from the gang no matter how much they might want to offer their condolences. However, she looked down at her PADD and there was a message from Sabine.

_Cass, it is Khan! The man who bombed Section 31 in London and then attacked Daystrom – it has to be Khan. Please, contact me._

Cass had watched the same news reports as Sabine. She hadn’t recognized the man as Khan. She reached out to the other telepath.

I told you not to PADD me or anyone else in the group, remember? People have died because of us.

Cass wondered when the ache from Varik’s death was going to subside. It caught her at strange times, when she’d be thinking or doing something completely unrelated and suddenly, she’d be in tears again. She felt foolish – hell – they’d only ever shared anything truly meaningful while reaching out to one another – she didn’t even have a face-to-face memory to look back on. But that hadn’t stopped the hurt.

_I know, but this is important._

First, no, this is not THAT important. Nothing is worth risking all our lives.

She tried to appeal to the noble side of her friend by reminding her she was doing more good in shutting the fuck up than she was in sending PADD messages.

Second, what makes you think it’s Khan? That man looks nothing like the holovids of Khan we saw back at the Academy.

_You are right. He looks like a white guy…specifically two white guys we know. Cass, look at him again and tell me who he reminds you of. The eyes? The nose?_

Holy shit. John and Anthony!

_The Section must have used the blood and tissue samples they took when they were captured to disguise him._

I’ll be damned. But what if he’s just some agent they tested or even cloned? Why are you so sure it’s actually Khan?

_Who could possibly carry out attacks like that and live through them? He vanished from the ship at Daystrom. He used a transporting technology only a handful of people in Section 31 know about – a portable transwarp beaming device – highly unstable._

Tell me you don’t know that because you hacked Starfleet records.

_Okay. I will not tell you I hacked Starfleet records._

Dammit, Sabine. 

_Mmm, do not be mad. I am being very careful. Are you doing okay?_

Cass snorted at her friend’s claim. Careful, her ass.

I’m fine. Never better. You’re gonna get us all killed but I’m doing great otherwise.

_I am so sorry about your uncle._

Don’t worry about it. Just keep yourself safe and for the love of all that’s holy, stop fucking around with Starfleet files.

_They have my research. They used it to modify how Khan looks. I know it._

You don’t know if they used your research to do that.

_They used the samples from John and Anthony. How do you think they knew how to mix the blood types and which genes to sequence?_

Look, calm down. Don’t you dare run into this fight. That’s exactly what Marcus is hoping for.

Cass looked again at the picture of John Harrison they kept showing on the news coverage.

He looks like a weasel or some kind of rodent. Who knew mixing John and Anthony together would make such a weird-looking otter man?

_Why are you making jokes right now? This is serious. We cannot just sit here while the world literally burns!_

Easy there. Hyperbole much? I’m as mad as you are but I’m smart enough to let this play out.

_Cass, we have to do something._

I swear, those are the last words of people with good intentions everywhere.

Cass looked over at her sister. “You want to jump in here? Sabs is ready to burn all of Starfleet down.”

Hey, cutie. How you doing?

_Hi Aubrey._

Look, you know I love a good hacking as much as the next person. But seriously? Just let it go for a few days.

_A few days?_

They’re gonna expect you to act rashly and quickly. Let’s take some time and formulate a plan, okay?

_Mmm, okay. But we are going to do something?_

Yes. I promise. Cass and I will work our way to you. It’ll take a couple of days. In the meantime, please promise you’ll pretend you’re only a doctor. Nothing else. Just be a doctor. Not a secret agent, not a superhero. Okay?

_Yes, yes. I get it. I do not like when you two gang up on me._

No one does. We’ll see you soon, okay?

_Alright. Say bye to Cass for me._

Will do.

“Crisis averted. Minus the fact I promised her we’d stop by in a couple of days.”

Cass rolled her eyes. “Fine. If it keeps her from blowing everyone’s cover, I’ll suffer through a visit to Planet X0-19.”

“You can’t wait to see her and you know it,” Aubrey prodded her sister.

“Yeah, okay. Maybe. I might miss her a little bit.”

Aubrey smiled to herself. This was the sister she’d missed. It was good to be together again.


	75. Chapter 75

“Bones, meet me in the brig,” Jim called out over the ship comms.

“Be right there,” McCoy responded, leaving the bridge and grabbing his med kit from med bay before heading down.

Despite losing the K’normian ships’s signal briefly due to the appearance of several Klingon warships, the mission on Qo’noS had been a success. Sulu had held his own in the captain’s chair, the Klingons had been subdued (by what methods, McCoy had no idea), and John Harrison had been apprehended. The mission team had rejoined the Enterprise and now they wanted him in the brig, no doubt to examine their prisoner.

McCoy met Jim just outside the brig.

“Well, you’ve looked better,” he said to Jim, noticing the cuts and abrasions on his friend’s face. He ran a dermal regenerator over Jim quickly.

“Yeah, it was an uneven fight,” Jim replied wearily. “Despite the fact he could have easily killed us, he surrendered to us.”

McCoy cocked an eyebrow.

“Why the hell did he surrender?”

“I don’t know,” Jim replied grimly. “But he just took out a squad of Klingons single-handedly. I want to know how.”

“Sounds like we have a superman on board,” McCoy replied, only half-kidding. Who could possibly take out that many Klingons on their own? Who was this man?

“You tell me,” Jim responded.

McCoy approached the cell where Harrison was being held. He moved the force field portal and opened it to make a hole in the cell field large enough for Harrison to fit his arm through.

“Put your arm through the hole,” he directed the prisoner. “I’m gonna take a blood sample.”

Harrison held his arm out and McCoy used a hypo to begin taking the sample.

“Why aren’t we moving, Captain?” The prisoner asked. “An unexpected malfunction, perhaps. In your warp core conveniently stranding you on the edge of Klingon space?”

“How the hell did you know that?” McCoy snapped.

“Bones,” Jim warned him.

“I think you’d find my insight valuable, Captain.” McCoy found the prisoner’s way of speaking unnerving. He finished taking his sample and closed the portal.

“We good?” Jim asked him.

“Yeah,” McCoy replied.

“Let me know what you find,” Jim called to him as he made his way to med bay.

* * *

 

McCoy had only been analyzing the sample for half an hour before Jim called him back to the bridge to discuss their options in light of Jim’s most recent conversations with both Harrison and Scotty.

“Are you outta your corn-fed mind?” McCoy asked Jim incredulously. “You’re not actually gonna listen to this guy? He killed Pike. He almost killed you. And now you think it’s a good idea to pop open a torpedo because he dared you to?”

“Why did he save our lives, Bones?” Jim replied.

“The doctor does have a point, Captain,” interjected Spock.

“Don’t agree with me, Spock. It makes me very uncomfortable,” McCoy cracked wryly.

“Perhaps you, too, should learn to govern your emotions, Doctor,” Spock replied to him, missing the joke. “In this situation logic dictates –”

“Logic?” McCoy interrupted. “Oh my God! There’s a maniac on board trying to make us blow up our own damn ship and you talk about –”

That’s not it,” Kirk but in, tired of listening to his two friends bicker. “I don’t know why he surrendered, but that’s not it. Look, we’re going to open a torpedo. The question is how.”

“But Jim,” McCoy implored. “Without Mister Scott on board, who exactly is qualified to just pop open a four ton stick of dynamite?”

“The Admiral’s daughter appeared to have interest in the torpedoes, and she is a weapons specialist. Perhaps she could be of some use,” Spock answered. Both Jim and McCoy looked at him dumbfounded.

“What Admiral’s daughter?” Kirk asked.

“Carol Marcus,” Spock replied as though sharing information they all should have known. “Your new science officer concealed her identity to board the ship.”

“When were you going to tell me that?” Jim demanded.

“When it became relevant. As it just did,” Spock said simply.

McCoy shook his head. That damn Vulcan. The three men ended their meeting and McCoy made his way back to med bay to look at the first batch of results from the tests he was running on Harrison’s blood. The results were fascinating. He’d never seen a blood sample like this before.

* * *

 

Yet again, McCoy found his work interrupted less than an hour later, this time because Jim ordered him to take a shuttle with Carol Marcus to a nearby planetoid where they would attempt to open one of the torpedoes together. McCoy didn’t know who he was more annoyed at – Carol Marcus for asking for his assistance, Scotty for quitting, or Jim for allowing – nay – encouraging any of this to happen. He grumbled in the shuttle about how he wasn’t earning enough credits for this kind of work.

Jim’s voice came over the shuttle and handheld comms. “Bones, thanks for helping out. Doctor Marcus asked for the steadiest hands on the ship.”

“You know,” McCoy responded, “When I dreamt about being stuck on a deserted planet with a gorgeous woman, there was no torpedo.”

“Doctor McCoy, may I remind you, you are not there to flirt,” Jim replied.

McCoy snorted. What a hypocrite. Jim couldn’t keep his eyes off Carol Marcus. He decided to push his friend’s buttons even more.

“So how can these legendary hands help you, Doctor Marcus?” He knew his flirting would drive Jim up a wall. He only wished he could see the exasperation on his friend’s face.

“Bones,” came the weary warning from Jim. It took everything McCoy had not to laugh. Served Jim right for sending him down to this desolate rock to possibly blow himself up.

Doctor Marcus ignored his come-ons.

“To understand how powerful these weapons are, we need to open the warhead. To do that, we need to access the fuel compartment. Unfortunately for us, the warheads on these weapons are live.”

“Sweetheart, I once performed an emergency C-section on a pregnant Gorn. Octuplets. And let me tell you, those little bastards bite. I think I can work some magic on your missile.”

He wasn’t just trying to egg Jim on at this point. Half of what he was saying was to convince himself he could do this. But also, he hoped Jim was appropriately annoyed. The Captain wasn’t the only one in their friendship who could push buttons.

Doctor Marcus remained immune to his charm, which was fine, if he was being honest with himself. She was a little too blonde for him. Besides, the last thing he wanted was a woman in his life.

“Doctor McCoy,” she began. “There’s a bundle of fibre optic cables against the inner casing. You’ll need to cut the twenty-third wire down. Whatever you do, do not touch anything else. Do you understand?”

“Right. The thought never crossed my mind,” McCoy replied as he continued to wrestle with the idea that one wrong move would kill them both.

“Doctor McCoy, wait for my word. I’m rerouting the detonation processor. Are you ready?” she asked him.

“And raring,” he replied as he stuck his hand inside the outer casing.

“Good luck,” Carol replied and an instant later, a pain shot through him. The outer casing hatch had closed on his arm. The pain was bad but nothing compared to the fear he felt when Carol cried out and he realized the torpedo had armed itself. They had 30 seconds to detonation.

“What the hell happened?” he yelled. “I can’t get my arm out.”

Over their comms, voices back on the ship came at them fast and furious. They couldn’t separate his signal from the torpedo. Beaming him back was impossible.

Jim asked Doctor Marcus if she could disarm the torpedo while McCoy watched the seconds tick down.

“Jim, get her the hell out of here,” he growled over the comm.

“No! If you beam me back, he dies! Just let me do it!”

“Ten, nine, eight,” McCoy counted down, hoping the fool woman would realize her only chance at survival was to get off the planetoid.

“Four, three,” he continued, not quite able to handle the fact he was counting down to his own death. His family and friends flashed through his thoughts. For a half a second, he pictured Sabine in his mind and wondered why he would bother thinking of her right before he died. The universe really was a cruel bitch.

“Shit,” Carol cried, ripping out something on the other side of the torpedo. With 2.57 seconds left, she had disarmed it. With nothing left to resist against, McCoy tumbled backwards. His arm was going to need treatment, that much was clear as he touched it gingerly. Her disarmament had opened the torpedo and both doctors peered inside. McCoy whistled.

“Doctor McCoy, are you alright?” came Jim’s frantic voice over the comm. McCoy couldn’t even begin to answer. What he was staring at made no sense.

“Bones!” Jim’s panic was rising.

“Jim? You’re gonna want to see this,” he replied.

* * *

 

Sabine woke up with a gasp, a pain shooting through her arm. She had been there. Had watched the torpedo close on Leo’s arm, had felt his panic as the clock ticked down. And now, her arm was throbbing as though it had been the one caught within the missile. She requested lights on in her bedroom and looked at her arm, expecting to see bruising but there was nothing. It ached – God, how it hurt. But there was no sign it had been harmed. The dream had been so vivid. She would have sworn it was real.

* * *

 

Later in med bay, after helping him treat his arm, Doctor Marcus was assisting McCoy with his examination of the cryogenic tube they’d found inside the torpedo. Jim and Spock managed to pull themselves away from the bridge, and the countless issues plaguing engineering, to meet the doctors in med bay for a debriefing.

“What have we got?” Jim asked the doctors, looking at the torpedo being dismantled on the medical bed.

“It’s quite clever, actually. This fuel container’s been removed from the torpedo and retrofitted to hide this cryo tube,” Doctor Marcus answered.

“Is he alive?” Jim asked, staring at the frozen man inside the cryo tube.

“He’s alive,” McCoy responded. “But if we try to revive him without the proper sequencing, it could kill him. This technology’s beyond me.”

“How advanced, Doctor?” asked Spock.

“It’s not advanced,” Carol answered in surprise. “That cryo tube is ancient.”

“We haven’t needed to freeze anyone since we developed warp capability,” McCoy continued. “Which explains the most interesting thing about our friend here. He’s three hundred years old.”

Jim ran out of the med bay and McCoy raised an eyebrow at Spock. His head was aching again – that same headache he got from time to time. He didn’t have the accompanying déjà vu as much this time but something about this – a man from so far in the past – it felt familiar to him for reasons he couldn’t possibly explain.

“I presume he will question the prisoner as to why there is a man in this torpedo,” was the Vulcan’s only response before following the Captain.

Only minutes later, the prisoner was escorted to med bay by security, who informed McCoy the captain had ordered him there, along with six security guards. McCoy grumblingly acquiesced.

They all listened over the ship’s comms as Jim and Admiral Marcus verbally sparred.

At one point, Jim said “…I’m planning on returning Khan to Earth to stand trial,” and McCoy felt the familiar throbbing in his head. But this time, a piece of a memory floated up with it.

_She was explaining to him, via telepathy, about a ship found at the edge of the galaxy. The Botany Bay. Khan. A madman from the 1990s. The overwhelming feelings he had were sadness mixed with fear._

The memory dissolved before he could make heads or tails of it and he was left with a lingering sensation of having held the solution to his unresolved headaches in his hands for the smallest of moments. Goddammit, why could he never hold on to these fleeting “memories”? What were these headaches and why did the name Khan seem so familiar? McCoy shook his head in frustration and grabbed his PADD to make a notation about his latest headache.

His next set of tests from Khan’s blood was complete and he made a quick scan of the man to gather more information.

“At least we’re moving again,” he mentioned to Carol, relieved to be leaving Klingon space and getting away from Admiral Marcus.

“If you think you’re safe at warp, you’re wrong,” Khan said to them both and for some reason, his words sent Carol off running.

Minutes later, the ship was hit and fell out of warp drive. The injuries came pouring into med bay. McCoy had no time to worry about his safety or anything other than keeping everyone in his med bay alive. They were granted a momentary reprieve from the firefight and things calmed down again. McCoy had an idea and he had just a few moments to test it.

Kirk came in and began talking with Khan.

“Tell me everything you know about that ship,” he ordered Khan.

“Dreadnought class. Two times the size, three times the speed. Advanced weaponry. Modified for a minimal crew. Unlike most Federation vessels, it’s built solely for combat,” Khan responded.

McCoy realized they were discussing Marcus’s ship. That was the ship that had chased them down in warp and fired on them. His head pounded. Not as sharp as the normal headache but every time he thought of Marcus, his head would hurt. Marcus was a definite trigger for unknown reasons. But he knew he didn’t have much time to finish his experiment so he did what he could to ignore the two men and their conversation.

“Bones,” Jim interrupted as he was almost done. “What are you doing with that tribble?”

Jim hated tribbles. He hated that McCoy had kept one for “research purposes.” Only what had begun as a harmless way to annoy the Captain was legitimately turning out to be research.

“The tribble’s dead,” he informed Jim. “I’m injecting Khan’s platelets into the deceased tissue of a necrotic host. Khan’s cells regenerate like nothing I’ve seen and I want to know why.”

His answer seemed to satisfy the captain.

* * *

 

Once again, McCoy found himself on the bridge, watching Jim risk his life to save the ship.

“Tell me this is gonna work,” he begged Spock as they waited to launch his best friend out of the trash exhaust and onto a course to enter the U.S.S. Vengeance through the tiniest of doors, which they would have to rely on Scotty to open. The chances of success were next to none. But he needed to believe it could be done.

“I have neither the information nor the confidence to do so, Doctor,” responded Spock.

“Boy, you’re a real comfort,” he grumbled in reply, moving away from the Vulcan.

Watching Jim and Khan propelled through the debris field between the Enterprise and the Vengeance was a white-knuckle affair.

“Whoa! Jim, you’re way off course!” he cried to his friend over the comms.

“I know, I know. I can see that,” Jim replied.

Against all odds, the two men made it onto the U.S.S. Vengeance. Meanwhile, McCoy watched as Spock talked to his counterpart from a different universe. They discussed Khan and McCoy felt a sting once more.

_For the second time in as many days, he was talking to someone about time travel. When did everyone start time-traveling? What were the chances? But he wanted clarification._

_“Dammit man, I’m a doctor, not a physicist. Are you actually suggesting they’re from the future?”_

_“If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”_

_A simple yes or no would have sufficed. Was every telepath just genetically incapable of simple answers? At least Sabine had a reason for her evasive answers. This asshole was just wasting time and breath._

_“How poetic,” McCoy snorted._

What was happening? Why was he misremembering events? That wasn’t how it had gone. He’d been shocked to hear time travel proposed in regards to Nero because it was ludicrous, not because he’d heard about it before from Sabine. He shook his head. If they survived this, he was getting a full brain scan back on Earth. Something wasn’t right.

“Doctor McCoy,” Spock brought him back to reality. “You inadvertently activated a torpedo. Could you replicate the process?”

“Why the hell would I want to do that?” he replied.

“Can you or can you not?”

“Dammit, Spock, I’m a doctor, not a torpedo technician!”

“The fact that you are a doctor is precisely why I need you to listen very carefully.” Spock proceeded to outline his plan and McCoy realized it just might save them all. He got to work on the torpedoes.

* * *

 

He was in med bay when Jim came running in with Scotty and an injured and crying Carol Marcus.

“Bones! Bones!” his friend called out to him.

“Nurse!” McCoy ordered and one of the nurses stepped in to help Doctor Marcus to one of the empty medical beds.

“Good to see you, Jim,” he said to the captain and he meant it. He was getting tired of wondering whether he’d ever see Jim again every time the man left the ship.

“You helped Spock detonate those torpedoes?” Jim asked him with something akin to wonderment.

“Damn right I did,” he replied.

“He killed Khan’s crew,” Jim said in a daze.

“Spock’s cold but he’s not that cold. I’ve got Khan’s crew.” He gestured to the wing of med bay behind him. “Seventy-two human popsicles safe and sound in their cryo tubes.”

“Son of a bitch,” Jim responded appreciatively.

Their enjoyment of the clever plan was short-lived. The ship began to tilt at an alarming angle. Kirk and Scotty ran out of med bay while McCoy began emergency lockdown procedures.

“I hope you don’t get seasick,” he told Carol as he checked the straps holding her down to the bed. She looked like she was about to throw up.

“Do you?” she asked him weakly.

“Yeah,” he replied in an effort to make her feel better.

Evacuation procedures were called out on all decks momentarily and then cancelled. It didn’t matter to McCoy. He’d go down with med bay. And for several tense minutes, it seemed like that was exactly what would happen. But then, almost miraculously, the ship stabilized.

From the panic of near death to the exhilaration of surviving, McCoy was then plunged right back into deep grief as Jim’s body was brought to med bay in a bag. They had survived because Jim had given his life realigning the ship’s core. The radiation he’d been exposed to had killed him.

McCoy had to take a moment to grieve before he could do anything official. He wasn’t ready to pronounce his best friend dead. Tears filled his eyes as he sat at one of the lab tables. On it lay the dead tribble he had injected not even an hour earlier. Suddenly the fuzzball moved and chirped. McCoy stared at it then scanned its vitals.

“Get me a cryo tube, now,” he yelled out.

Carol got out of her medical bed and moved to assist the other staff.

“Get this guy out of the cryo tube. Keep him in an induced coma. We’re gonna put Kirk inside. It’s our only chance to preserve his brain function,” he told Carol.

“How much of Khan’s blood is left?” she asked him. They both knew Spock was on the planet below, trying to capture Khan. He was angry too, a rare display of Vulcan rage – if Spock caught the man, he’d likely kill him unless McCoy could get to him in time.

“None,” McCoy responded. “Enterprise to Spock! Spock!” he called out over the comms.

“Activate the cryogenic sequence. McCoy to bridge. I can’t reach Spock. I need Khan alive. You get that son of a bitch back on board right now! I think he can save Kirk.”

Of course, what McCoy wanted to do was not without issues. The tribble had come back to life, only to die minutes later because Khan’s blood had overworked its system – its heart had exploded. He couldn’t let the same sort of thing happen to Jim. But there had to be a way to modify Khan’s blood and get it to play nice with another human’s blood. He could do this – he just had to figure out how.


	76. Chapter 76

McCoy awoke with his heart racing, covered in sweat. He hadn’t had a nightmare like that since…well, ever. It had been terrifying. And it hadn’t been him. He’d experienced everything through Sabine’s eyes – but he wasn’t sure what he had seen and felt. He just knew it had been bad. Someone had incapacitated her and from there, he could remember short bursts – being dragged across the floor by her hair; a struggle, her mind in a fog, her vision fuzzy; she couldn’t block the repeated punches and didn’t have the strength or coordination to fight back; she couldn’t use her telekinesis; her body wouldn’t cooperate with her; then something more sinister – she was being touched in places she didn’t want to be touched and couldn’t fight it off. Inside, she felt numb and it was as though she was watching someone else be violated – this couldn’t be her body – it must be happening to someone who looked like her; finally, more blows and then the sweet abyss of blackness as she passed out.

Had it been real? McCoy thought back to the Academy and the occasional dream he shared with Sabine – walking hand-in-hand along the river in that strange, ancient city. This had felt different – more vivid; he could still feel lingering pain in his stomach from each hit, a headache from when she had been knocked out, and a deep disgust as though he personally had been violated. While the recurring dream of walking in an unknown city had made him uneasy, whatever he’d just undergone made him nauseous. It made him want to find Sabine, make sure she was still alive. He groaned. Now was not a good time to go looking for his ex. He had his best friend in a cryo-tube and he needed to figure out how to get Khan’s blood into Jim without inflicting further damage. Wasn’t this always his luck? Everything would go to shit at the exact same time.

* * *

 

The days between when Cass and Aubrey reached out to Sabine and when they showed up on X0-19 were two of the most harrowing days of her life, pre- or post-jump. After her bizarre dream about Leo and the phantom pain in her arm, Sabine had a hard time falling back to sleep that night. The next day, she was understandably tired. But her fatigue didn’t account for what happened to her. Even tired, her reflexes had always been impressive. So she was surprised to later discover someone had snuck up on her, disabled her via unclear methods, and attacked her. And the worst part was, she couldn’t remember most of what had happened. Or maybe that was the good part – she went back and forth on whether she wanted those memories or if she was better off without them. What was clear was she’d been attacked, and sexually assaulted. What was less clear was by whom and how they’d accomplished it.

Her last clear recollection was standing in front of her apartment door, keying in the entrance code, when she heard – and somehow felt – a high-pitched tone in her right ear. After that, darkness swirled around and the rest of her memories from those two days were fragmented and blurred.

Cass and Aubrey found her on the floor of her apartment, cut-up and bruised but still, thankfully, alive. They managed to rouse her to consciousness but she was disoriented. The worst thing, as far as Cass had been concerned, was the lack of telepathic signal from her. She’d been convinced when Aubrey hacked the door, they’d find an empty apartment. Instead, Sabine was there on the floor, but she seemed to have lost all her mental abilities. They came back, slowly, but as much as she struggled to remember what had caused them to disappear, and even after Cass read her mind with her permission, none of them had many answers.

“So let’s cover this one last time,” Aubrey said as she stood next to Sabine’s bed at the hospital. Cass groaned. They’d been over this so many times already. But Sabine stared at Aubrey intently, waiting for her to continue.

‘You came home from work the other day and heard – and somehow felt – a high pitched sound by your ear – which ear again?”

“The right one,” Sabine replied softly.

“Okay,” Aubrey continued. “And you remember someone standing over you. You think it was a man – why?”

“I do not know. It felt like a man – a human man. He was strong. And I could smell him…” Sabine teared up.

“It’s okay, we understand.” Cass glared at Aubrey. When they’d brought her to the hospital to be examined, the tests had been inconclusive – there was no physical evidence of rape. But Cass and Aubrey had seen Sabine’s memories and they both knew something unwanted had happened. Maybe it hadn’t amounted to rape but it had been a sexual assault. Cass wanted to keep Sabine from focusing on that part. She was glad Sabine couldn’t remember much of it. No one needed those kinds of memories.

“Sorry, sweetie,” Aubrey said to Sabine, abashed. “I didn’t mean to –”

“No, it is fine. Keep going,” Sabine urged.

“So you have brief memories of a man with you, standing over you and whatnot. Anything else?”

“We fought? He pulled me across the floor by my hair at one point and I remember feeling like my body was not my own.”

“How so?”

“I felt disconnected. I could not use my powers and even a simple thing like balling my hand into a fist was almost impossible.”

“Do you remember anything you haven’t told us yet?” Aubrey asked as gently as possible.

“No,” Sabine replied, her eyes closed. She was so tired.

“We’ll let you rest,” Cass assured her. Sabine’s eyes popped open. “Don’t worry, we’re not going anywhere. We’ll be right here.” Her words pacified Sabine and she closed her eyes once more. The sisters shared a worried look. Neither of them knew what to make of what had happened to their friend. What caused the high-pitched noise? Is that what had made Sabine lose her telepathy and telekinesis, along with most of her memories of the past two days?

* * *

 

A day later, back at Sabine’s place, Cass took a comm from Bones. Sabine could only hear her side of the conversation.

“Hey,” Cass said as she picked up, choosing to keep the conversation so that only she could hear it. She could feel Aubrey glaring at her. She wrinkled her forehead in confusion as she listened to Bones.

“Let’s talk about that later. How are you guys? I saw what happened with the U.S.S. Vengeance in San Francisco.”

…

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

…

“I know, I know. I meant to reply but we were in a bad spot to make comms.”

…

“Is he gonna be okay?”

…

“You’ve got this. If anyone can do it, it’s you.” At that, she looked over at Sabine. The other woman stared back at her with curiosity in her eyes. She brushed the tears forming at the corners of her eyes away. She would not upset Sabine further if she could help it.

“Okay, you too. Take care and keep me posted.”

Cass closed her communicator and looked at the two women in the room with her. She knew Aubrey wanted to punch her and she wished, for what felt like the billionth time, that her sister would just fucking chill. She had bigger things to worry about now. Sabine was just intrigued.

“That was Bones,” she said softly, aware that while Aubrey knew who she’d been speaking with, because Aubrey was a fucking creeper who didn’t know the meaning of the word privacy, Sabine had no idea.

“What did he want? Is he okay?” Sabine asked. “You sounded and looked worried.” Sabine kept her face clear of any emotions but her voice couldn’t hide how much the other doctor still meant to her.

“Well, there’s good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”

“I do not care – just tell us what is happening.”

“They caught Khan. He’s back in cryo-freeze. And Marcus is dead.”

“That is good news,” Sabine enthused. “I would not normally wish anyone dead but the Admiral is an exception.”

“Yeah, I’m fine with the bastard dying. But the bad news is Jim…” Cass took a moment to collect herself. She was shaking.

“What about Jim?” Sabine asked fearfully. “Is he dead too?”

“Technically, right now? Sort of.” Saying it out loud made it feel too real. Cass sat down quickly, her legs weak at the thought of the possible imminent loss of her best friend from the Academy.

“What?” Both Aubrey and Sabine leaned in closer to Cass. Aubrey was no longer radiating disapproval – now both women were filled with concern as they waited for Cass to explain.

“He did something in the warp core to save the Enterprise and suffered from radiation poison – he’s medically dead? Bones put him in a cryo-tube for now and is trying to use Khan’s blood to revive him but he doesn’t know if he can figure out the formula–”

“You have to send him my research,” Sabine insisted. “It will help him – he can save Jim with it.”

“Sabs, if I do that, where do I say I got it from? He’ll ask too many questions.”

“We cannot let Jim die!” Sabine yelled. She calmed down. “I know how we can get it to him without him ever knowing we were behind it.” She stood and grabbed her PADD.

“What are you doing?” Cass asked suspiciously.

“Do not ask. You will not like the answer,” Sabine replied. Cass opened her mouth to chastise her friend but Aubrey’s voice filled her mind.

_Let it go. Let her do this._

She’s gonna blow everyone’s cover.

_Marcus is dead. Section 31 is probably reeling from his loss. Let her take this risk. I mean it._

Cass could tell Aubrey meant business so she remained silent.

“There. It is done. He will get my report and never know who it came from.”

“I hope you’re right,” Cass grumbled.

“I have to be. He needs to save Jim.”

* * *

 

Cass waited till Sabine was sleeping and stepped out to comm Bones back. His first question had thrown her for a loop and she wanted to have a conversation with him now that she could do so without an audience.

“Hey,” he greeted her.

“Sorry about earlier,” Cass replied, wasting no time. “I wasn’t ready to answer you because Sabs was right there, listening. We just brought her back from the hospital. How did you know?”

“It really happened?” he asked, a mix of concern and incredulity in his voice.

“Yeah,” Cass confirmed. “But how did you know?”

“I had a…dream, I guess. But it didn’t feel like a dream. It felt like I was there. I woke up, and I could feel the pain from being hit. As though I had been the one attacked. I was in her mind. I knew it was her. Cass, what the hell is this? Have you heard of this kind of thing before?”

Cass was momentarily speechless. The shared dreams back at the Academy had been weird enough but this was some next-level shit.

“Jesus, I don’t even know,” she whispered before clearing her throat and speaking up a little louder. “This is the first time I’ve heard of this, especially with someone who isn’t telepathic.”

“Do you think she felt me there?” McCoy asked, unsure of which answer he hoped to receive.

“She hasn’t said anything about feeling you there but she doesn’t really remember much.”

“She’s okay though?” McCoy didn’t like Sabine but he didn’t want anyone to go through what she’d experienced, no matter how much he might dislike them.

“Yeah, she’ll be okay,” Cass said uncertainly. She hoped Sabine would be okay.

For McCoy, that was all he needed to hear. He didn’t want to worry about Sabine – didn’t want to share any experiences with her, let alone one so awful. If she was okay, he could work to forget what had happened and hope he’d never share a mind with her again.

The two talked for a bit longer, and Cass asked Bones for his permission to read him, so she could see if there was anything additional in his memories that Sabine may have missed. Unfortunately, he had seen exactly what Sabine had – nothing more. She was no closer to knowing who the attacker was. Cass felt Aubrey’s eyes on her through the window of the apartment. She closed the comm and returned inside, filling Aubrey in on why she’d stepped out to comm Bones. The two sisters shared a moment of dumbfounded silence. How had he managed to see and feel what Sabine had experienced?

* * *

 

Theo and Oliver made sure Sabine’s anonymous message and its precious attachment made it to McCoy without any trace of who had sent it. He opened his PADD messages before heading to the hospital to run more tests on the thus-far unsuccessful transfusion of Khan’s blood to Jim and there was an untraceable message waiting for him. He almost disregarded it but the title of the attachment intrigued him so he opened it and began reading. An hour later, he had finished it.

“Holy shit,” he murmured. “I would’ve never thought of that.” He raced to the hospital. His issues with the incompatibility of Khan’s blood with Jim’s were as easily resolved as a few tweaks to the Khan blood mixture but they were tweaks he would have never fathomed before reading the anonymous report on his PADD. He would worry later about how that report had gotten to him. Right then, his only goal was saving Kirk.

Later, when it was clear Jim’s body had accepted the transfusion, and it became a waiting game for when he would awaken, McCoy made a comm. Cass picked up instantly.

“Hey you,” she said. “How’s it going?”

“Thank you,” he replied, relief mixing with the gratitude in his voice.

“What for?” she asked.

“I don’t know where you found that report or how you managed to get it on my PADD without tracing back to you, but thank you. It worked.”

She was silent for a moment.

“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she finally admitted.

“Come on, Cass. It wasn’t you? Someone sent me this report – I don’t know where it could have come from, if not you. It was clearly written by someone with both in-depth knowledge of Augments – the issues with their older blood types and vaccinations – and knowledge of modern medicine. It had to be something from Section 31.”

She remained silent but her stomach jumped into her throat. If he remembered she had once been a Section 31 agent, then he remembered everything else. But why did he sound so calm and happy? What the fuck was going on? He continued.

“You and Aubrey are the only two people I know who could hack into Section 31. I don’t know how you managed to find the report but thank you.”

She felt a flood of relief. He only thought it was her because of her penchant for illegal activity. He didn’t remember anything.

“Bones, it wasn’t me,” she said gently.

“You’re serious? You really didn’t send me the report?”

“Sorry. I wish it had been me.”

“Shit. Who was it?”

“I don’t know. A guardian angel?”

He snorted. “Yeah, right. Well, anyway, it was exactly what I needed. Jim’s gonna be okay. It’ll take some time for the transfusion to take hold but he’s gonna make it.”

“That’s great news,” Cass said happily, relieved to know Jim would survive.

“Yeah, it is,” McCoy agreed. “I was so sure the report was from you.”

“I wish I could take credit. Sorry I can’t help. Hey, I gotta run.” The friends closed the comm and Cass turned to Aubrey. They were on their way to Sabine’s place, having picked up some food for her. They’d been staying with her on X0-19 since her assault. They still had no leads on who attacked her or why.

“You were right to keep me from stopping Sabs. It worked. Jim’s alive because of her.”


	77. Chapter 77

“Oh, don’t be so melodramatic,” Jim heard a familiar voice with a Southern drawl speaking to him as he awoke. “You were barely dead. It was the transfusion that really took its toll. You were out cold for two weeks.”

“Transfusion?” Jim asked McCoy in confusion. He was in a medical bed…in a place that wasn’t the Enterprise. He looked around the room. He was on Earth again.

“Your cells were heavily irradiated. We had no choice.” It all came rushing back. He’d died. The ship had been saved. But who could have given the transfusion?

“Khan?” he asked the doctor.

“Once we caught him, I synthesized a serum from his ‘superblood.’ Tell me, are you feeling homicidal? Power mad? Despotic?” McCoy grinned down at Jim, so happy to see his friend conscious again. Later, he’d explain that the serum hadn’t been just his work even though he still had no clue who had authored or sent the report that saved his friend. For now, it sufficed to keep things simple. Coming back from death was enough for Jim to handle.

“No more than usual,” Jim replied, still weak from the transfusion. Spock joined the conversation and the three men talked briefly but Jim could feel something wrong in his mind. There was something….off…about some of his memories. He wasn’t sure, but there seemed to be conflicting versions of certain past events in his mind. McCoy left the room to run some tests on Jim’s blood now that he was conscious again. Jim looked over to Spock.

“There’s something wrong with my head,” he said softly to the Vulcan. Spock raised an eyebrow at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure. But I have two different sets of memories for some things. Is this a side effect of the transfusion?”

“Doctor McCoy would be a better person to ask,” Spock speculated. “But it would seem odd to me that your memories would be impacted by the transfusion.”

“Spock. Can you look? Can you do that thing you do – a mind meld?”

“Are you certain?”

“Yeah. It hurts. And it’s making me feel a little crazy,” Jim responded.

Spock nodded and got up to stand over Jim’s hospital bed. He gently placed his hand on the side of Jim’s face, lining up the psy points. From his side of the meld, he could see certain memories carried a greenish-yellow outline. They were fake. At some point, someone had implanted fake memories in Jim’s mind. Before Spock could delve deeper, he felt Jim’s desire for him to exit the meld. He complied and looked down at his friend. Jim was breathing heavily and sweat had formed on his forehead.

“I remember,” Jim told his Vulcan friend. “I know what happened now. Sorry to cut the meld short. Whatever you do, don’t mention this to Bones.”

Spock raised an eyebrow.

“Please, Spock. I promise, I’ll explain to you why soon. But this has to stay between us for now.”

Spock looked at his friend. He could see the desperation in Jim’s eyes.

“As you wish, Jim.”

“Thanks. I’ll fill you in, I promise.”

“Do as you see fit. I must warn you: if I find your behavior odd or regressive in any way, I will have no choice but to share my concerns with Doctor McCoy.”

“It’s a deal. But for now, let’s keep this quiet. It’ll make more sense when I tell you why.”

Before he could think of talking to Spock about what he’d figured out, he needed to have a long conversation with Cass.

Jim thought for a minute about what it had been like to join minds with Spock. This was the third person he’d melded with and he was a bit dumbstruck over how every one of them had such different mental layouts. With Cass, it was all about color, the colors being tied to various emotions. Cass, like many Betazoids, arranged everything in her mind according to its emotional significance. So knowledge accumulated in class had an emotional tag, even if that tag was Supreme Boredom. Being in Cass’s mind was like living on a painter’s palette. He had seen colors in her mind that he didn’t have names for – but it didn’t matter because they were tied to emotions so he just thought of them by their emotional titles.

With Sabine, her mind was arranged like a city, but no city Jim had ever seen. There were architectural elements in Sabine’s mind that would not be possible in reality – the laws of physics could only bend so much. But inside her head, you could be walking down a cobblestone street and suddenly come to a cliff side, out of which would be carved the most intricate cathedral you could ever hope to see – its beauty made you want to weep. Sabine had used Paris as a model for her mental map. She had learned about memory palaces as a child and had taken the phrase literally, using the Louvre as a reference point for housing parts of her cumulative knowledge. As time had gone by, her city morphed from a replica of Paris into its own unique creation. Jim had been one of the fortunate few to walk that city with her and now he could actually remember their stroll. But Sabine and Cass had nothing on Spock.

Spock’s mind was a futuristic labyrinth – a honeycomb in shades of blue and gold. Jim could feel the dimensions of Spock’s mind – the depths it contained, just by walking its sleek corridors. It was warm inside his head, but then, everything about Spock was a few degrees warmer than anyone else Jim knew. It was so organized – none of the chaos that featured so prominently in both Cass and Sabine’s mental constructs. Jim felt like visiting Spock’s mind was a homecoming of sorts for him. He’d never felt more comfortable in someone else’s head and he wondered if Spock had felt it too. For the first time, Jim was jealous of Uhura. For years, he’d wondered how Spock had managed to woo the attractive communications officer – she of the mysterious first name for so long. But now, he realized Nyota was the lucky one. How often did Spock share that marvelous mind with her?

Jim shifted in his biobed uncomfortably. Could Spock feel his emotions right now? Did he sense the captain’s confusion? What had his own mind looked like to the Vulcan? Jim had never really thought about his own mental layout and suddenly felt ashamed for whatever the Vulcan had seen. He was sure it would never live up to Vulcan standards.

Meanwhile, Spock gazed at his captain and friend impassively, having drawn a mask over his features once the meld had ended. While Jim’s emotions flitted across his face, Spock’s remained under the surface. Jim had just woken up – the last thing he needed was to deal with the emotional fallout Spock was experiencing from his near-death and from their meld. He had never seen a mind quite like Jim Kirk’s. It was unfailingly human with the messiness that human minds were prone to. But the sheer breadth of information contained within it – Spock had never realized just how much Jim knew. There was more to the reckless, lucky, young captain than he let on. And the layout had fascinated Spock – it was a museum, but one with a nighttime sky filled with stars for a ceiling, and Iowa corn stalks for walls. Every turn led to a new room filled with a mix of antiquities and inventions not yet perfected. Spock felt a yearning to return to Jim’s mind that he had never felt before. He chided himself, thinking the captain’s revival had allowed him to indulge his human side too much. But the feeling would not subside in the days after Jim’s awakening.

* * *

 

“I remember all of it. I know why Sabine did it. Is she – are all of them – okay?”

Cass stared at Jim in surprise. When he’d insisted she come visit him in San Francisco, she’d been wary but not because she’d expected him to have figured out the memory erasure and replacement. No, she’d been worried about getting caught by Section 31. Jim had assured her the agency was a shadow of its former self and she’d be fine. They had just been talking about Uncle Chris and Jim had offered his condolences, told her about his last conversations with Admiral Pike and what it had been like at Daystrom when the attack came. It had felt good to talk to him – of all the people she knew, Jim understood just how much Christopher Pike had meant to her because he’d been like a father to Jim as well. But none of that had prepared her for this revelation. She scrambled to answer his question as he gazed expectantly at her.

“They’re all fine.” She decided not to mention the mysterious attack on Sabine. Aubrey was still staying with Sabine and they were debating finding a new place to hide her. Yorktown wasn’t done yet and Sabine insisted she would prefer to stay on Planet X0-19 till she could move to Yorktown.

“How did you end up remembering?” she asked cautiously.

“I’m not entirely sure – I think the transfusion of Khan’s blood had a lot to do with it,” he replied thoughtfully.

“Have you told anyone else about this?”

“Spock did a meld right after I woke up because I asked him to. I could tell something was wrong. I made him stop as soon as I figured it out. But otherwise, no one knows.” He knew what she was really asking – had he talked to McCoy.

“So Bones still –”

“He still has no clue beyond the headaches.”

“Tell me about the headaches. Both of you were getting them?” She already knew the answer but she wanted to have an update. It had been a while since Bones had mentioned any headaches to her.

“Yeah. And Bones asked me to start tracking them – what would trigger them and how long they lasted.”

“How close do you think he is to figuring it out?”

“I have no idea. I just know he’s been getting them too and he’s had himself scanned.”

Cass knew his issues wouldn’t show up on any brain scan. He was only going to figure out the cause of the headaches if he finally broke through and remembered the truth. Jim’s process had been sped up. Khan’s blood had given him the ability to retain the real memories for more than a few moments at a time and to distinguish between the real and fake memories.

“Scans won’t matter. He has to figure it out on his own,” Cass told Jim.

“Which means I can’t tell him about what I remember,” Jim replied, looking at Cass for reassurance.

“Right. You need to go along with him. Don’t contradict him when he mentions a fake memory.”

“Okay,” he replied. “But I need your help to fix my fake memories – they’re just taking up space in my head.”

“I can do that,” she agreed. Jim would be able to remember the false memories but Cass could push them to the back of his mind; shrink them, so to speak, so that Jim could quickly pull up the correct memories.

“Would you mind if Spock were present?” Jim asked hesitantly.

“If you want. Why?”

“Well, if something does happen with Bones – if he has a breakthrough – it would probably be wise for Spock to know how to handle the whole thing. You and Sabs may not be accessible in enough time.”

“Good point. You’re more than a pair of pretty eyes after all,” Cass replied with a smile. He smirked back at her.

“Hey, one more question,” Jim started and Cass nodded at him to continue. “The research Bones used to do the transfusion. He said he didn’t know where it had come from. Was it you?”

She shook her head before answering.

“Jim, he scared the shit out of me when he called. I thought he’d remembered me working for the Section.”

“I can’t believe you were Section 31. All that time we were hanging out at the Academy and you were a secret agent….”

“Yeah, well, the best spies are the ones you would never expect,” Cass said somewhat flippantly and Jim wondered just how much she’d seen and done in her time with Section 31. He’d learned a lot about his friend in the past hour of talking.

“I guess so. Do you know where the report Bones used came from?”

“I told him it wasn’t me and I wasn’t entirely lying,” Cass replied. “The research was Sabine’s. I don’t know exactly how she got it to him – I have my suspicions. But she did that.”

“I owe her a thank you,” Jim replied softly.

“For now? You might want to hold off on saying anything to her. If she knows you’ve recovered your memories, she’ll start anticipating that Bones will do the same. And I’m still not sure we’re out of the woods with Section 31.”

“I’m telling you, the organisation is in shambles. This whole thing has been a PR nightmare, not just for Section 31, but Starfleet in general. The only good to come out of it is that they won’t be letting any power-crazed, militaristic admirals take the reins any time soon.”

“I hear what you’re saying, but I have reason to think there may be a faction of agents who are still carrying the torch Marcus lit,” Cass replied.

“Are you guys okay?” Jim asked in concern.

“We’ll be fine.” Cass paused then decided to tell Jim the truth. “Sabine was attacked a couple of weeks ago. She’s fine, everyone is fine. But for now, they all need to lay low.” He raised his eyebrows at her. “Once things have calmed down, I’ll let you know.”

“You sure you guys are alright?”

“As sure as I ever am,” Cass replied, thinking that she was never really sure of anything so it was the truth, in a sense.

“Cass, are the rest of them like Sabine?” Jim had so many questions he wanted to ask now and he wondered how much the former agent would share with him.

She sighed and looked at him, debating how much she should tell her friend. Finally, she made a decision – one Aubrey would probably disagree with but if there was anyone in this world she trusted as much as Aubrey, it was Jim.

“Not exactly. But they’re each, in their own way, special.” He looked at her quizzically and she took a deep breath. “You know what? This is easier to do if I just show you, rather than explain.”

He smiled and waited for the familiar white heat that meant she was taking him on a trip through her memories. Cass showed Jim everything she knew about the Resurrection crew except where she was currently hiding each of them. She closed the connection and looked over at the blue-eyed man.

“If people find out about them right now, in light of the whole Khan thing…” he said softly.

Cass winced. “I know. Trust me, it keeps me up at night. But they don’t want to be found, Jim. Why do you think they gave up so much to go into hiding?”

Jim nodded silently. It had been one thing to remember what Sabine had shown him back at the Academy. But seeing Cass’s additional information on what Marcus had been planning to do with the crew members was harrowing. Jim felt even more relief at the fact that Marcus was dead and Khan was on ice once more.

Their momentary lapse of cautiousness aside, Cass knew the Resurrection crew was doing its best to keep under the radar. It was difficult sometimes because they had been trained for actual combat and short-term spying rather than long-term undercover work. For them, a typical mission had lasted perhaps a week at the most and then things had quickly returned to normal, within the safety of their camp or space station. She understood why they got restless and sought one another out. But Varik’s death had shaken all of them in its own way. Maybe no one felt it with the same potency as Cass but she knew they all blamed themselves for it. They’d been good about keeping quiet lately. She imagined they would be even more cautious once word of Sabine’s attack spread.

“If you guys ever need anything, comm me.” Jim hoped he’d be able to give her the assistance she’d need if she ever took him up on his offer.

“Sure. Now get Spock over here so we can delete the fake memories.”

Once the Vulcan showed up, Cass and Jim spent the rest of the afternoon explaining to Spock what had been done, why it had been necessary, and then Cass began deleting Jim’s fake recollections, showing Spock how to do it in case he’d ever need to do the same for Bones. Vulcans, as a general rule, abhorred tampering with memories but he understood the necessity of learning in these unique circumstances.

* * *

 

“You had no right to assault her!” The commodore was angry, her eyes filled with fire.

“She won’t even remember it,” Agent Tapper responded nonchalantly.

“You don’t know that,” Commodore Nighy spat back. “And don’t be flippant with me.”

“I accomplished my mission so why are you chewing me out?” he responded, equally impertinent as before. He’d gotten vengeance on the woman who had humiliated him in front of Admiral Marcus. It had given him no small satisfaction to see her unable to protect herself from his hits. And if he had taken a few liberties with her while she was incapacitated, so what? She ought to be flattered he thought she was pretty enough to touch, even while he enjoyed exacting his revenge.

“Part of your mission was to not use excessive force on the target. Not only did you unnecessarily harm her, you tried to rape her. I would not consider what you did any kind of accomplishment.”

Tapper rolled his eyes. It had hardly been rape. So he’d touched her in a few places. Big deal. The target probably had no memory of it anyway.

Another man, in a lab coat, entered the room as the agent was rolling his eyes. The woman looked over at the newcomer and nodded.

“We’ve accessed the copy of the target’s mind provided by Agent Tapper,” the scientist began. “However, we are unable to see many of her memories.”

“Why?” the woman snapped.

“I can’t be certain, but there appears to be a unique defense system in place. As soon as she sensed a threat, chunks of her mind closed up and we haven’t found a way to open them yet.”

“When do you think you’ll break through?”

“I can’t give you a timeline. It’s going to be a while. We have to tread lightly or we’ll destroy the underlying memories and information.”

“Thank you,” she replied tightly and the scientist left the room. She turned to Agent Tapper. “So you failed – in all metrics of the assignment, you have failed.”

The agent was no longer so relaxed. The tone of her voice left him uneasy.

“Look, Admiral Marcus would have –”

“What Marcus would have done is worse than irrelevant. Marcus and his methodology are not anything we wish to emulate,” Commodore Nighy said grimly. “The only thing Marcus had right was his lack of patience with those who did not meet his expectations.”

She drew her phaser quickly – too quickly for Agent Tapper to do more than throw his hands in front of his face, as if to shield himself from the beam. He was vaporized in seconds.


	78. Chapter 78

While Cass helped Jim clear his head, Aubrey and Sabine were embarking on their own adventure of sorts. Since the attack, Sabine had been unable to sleep without nightmares and was further unable to pull herself out of said nightmares once they started. And uninterrupted nightmares meant things levitating around the apartment in the dead of the night. On one particularly bad night, Aubrey ducked floating furniture to crawl into bed with the other telepath and soothe her obvious distress. Much to both women’s surprise, it had worked. After that, Aubrey and Sabine had shared a bed and the nightmares stopped. Initially, things were completely innocent and friendly. Both of them had slept with other women before without any kind of romantic interaction – it was normal to occasionally share beds with friends, even in the 23rd century. And as much as Aubrey liked to flirt with Sabine, she had done so more to annoy her sister. Not that she wouldn’t drop everything to be with Sabine if she met her under different circumstances. Sabine was cute and sexy as hell, and if she were a random woman on the street, Aubrey would consider her fair game. But she knew friends were off-limits. She didn’t want that kind of commitment – especially not with anyone from the Resurrection crew. They were all fragile enough in their own peculiar ways, none more so than the woman sleeping next to her. If Cass had anything to say about it, she’d argue Aubrey was far more fragile than any of the Resurrection crew but Aubrey’s mental and emotional strength had been a long-standing and private argument between the sisters. There were certain things the Pike girls didn’t talk to outsiders about.

Despite all Aubrey’s reservations, during their fourth night together, she awoke to find Sabine’s arm thrown around her tightly, her hand clinging to Aubrey’s hip, with her head buried against the side of Aubrey’s breast, sleeping soundly. The part-Betazoid couldn’t help but feel a little aroused. Still, she contented herself with gently stroking the other woman’s hair, waiting for sleep to overcome her again.

Instead, Sabine awoke with a soft start and looked up at her. In the light of the two moons that circled Planet X0-19, the women gazed at one another. Sabine hadn’t meant to embrace Aubrey. She couldn’t remember what she’d been dreaming of, but if she had to guess, it was probably Leo. Reveries of him always left her in a certain state of provocation. And here was Aubrey – beautiful, dark-haired Aubrey with her black eyes staring down at Sabine. She wanted the older Pike sister – and she wanted Aubrey to want her.

Without a word, their lips met – hesitantly at first but then with growing passion. Sabine had been with other women before; even if they were a different species, Naralians seemed close enough to human women for her to understand how it would feel. But the electricity that ran through her body as Aubrey kissed her was different. Aubrey’s tongue pressing against hers was soft, yet insistent. She didn’t overpower Sabine as Leo had on occasion. Instead her tongue was an invitation for Sabine to explore Aubrey’s mouth as well. Her full lips had none of the roughness of Leo’s or the other men she’d slept with.

“Sabs,” Aubrey murmured between kisses. “We shouldn’t do this.”

“I know,” she breathed, her lips on the half-Betazoid’s neck. “But it feels so good.”

Aubrey nipped her earlobe, sucking on it for a moment, causing Sabine to arch against her.

“Just tonight, Aubrey,” she begged. “Please.”

“I couldn’t say no to you if I tried,” the other woman whispered. “But only tonight.”

Sabine replied by kissing Aubrey hard and Aubrey moaned as she rolled on top, straddling Sabine.

“I wanted you from the moment I first saw you,” Aubrey purred as she removed Sabine’s camisole. She palmed one of Sabine’s breasts while taking the other in her mouth.

“I imagined what it would be like to do this with you,” Sabine gasped, her own hands tugging at Aubrey’s nightshirt. It was true. She’d found herself on several occasions wondering exactly how it would taste if she kissed Aubrey, how it would feel if their their bodies were intertwined.

“No need to imagine anymore,” Aubrey sighed, as Sabine helped her lift her shirt over her head. Sabine immediately kissed Aubrey’s collarbone, working her way down to Aubrey’s right breast while she rolled Aubrey’s left nipple between her thumb and forefinger. Aubrey ran her hands through Sabine’s hair, groaning with enjoyment as Sabine touched her. Sabine took the already pebbled and erect right nipple in her mouth and suckled while Aubrey let out a low curse. Neither of them had opened a telepathic channel to the other yet. Aubrey decided to change that, reaching out so that Sabine could feel her mounting desire and see all the things Aubrey wanted to do with her before the night was over. The images and feelings caused Sabine to release her nipple and let out her own groan of pleasure.

You game? You wanna do all that with me?

_God, yes._

Sabine gave the other woman a devious grin and Aubrey smiled back at her. She was pulling Sabine’s boy shorts off with one hand while she rubbed Sabine with her other hand. She could feel Sabine’s wetness already. Once Sabine’s shorts were gone, Aubrey thrust two fingers in the other woman and Sabine responded with a cry of delight. The moment her mouth met Sabine’s bud, Sabine shook and Aubrey realized she was coming. She licked and teased with her tongue, drawing out Sabine’s pleasure, using her fingers to stimulate her from inside.

“Aubrey!” Sabine moaned, writhing under the other woman’s touch.

Feeling Sabine’s pleasure made Aubrey wet and she knew it would be a quick release once she allowed the other woman to explore. But before that, she continued to massage Sabine’s center, licking her at the same time. She felt the other telepath crest again as she tasted her, slipping her tongue inside the other woman. She enjoyed the waves of bliss coming from her companion.

“My turn,” Sabine demanded, as she came down from her second climax.

“Fuck, yes,” Aubrey replied, rolling off Sabine and removing her own panties.

Sabine wasted no time sticking her own hand between Aubrey’s legs and stroking Aubrey. She pushed her fingers down further, entering Aubrey as she straddled the other woman’s stomach. While her fingers made short work of the last of Aubrey’s sanity and composure, Sabine once again sucked on her nipples, giving equal attention to both. Aubrey cried out repeatedly, arching towards the other woman. Sabine adjusted her position, moving between Aubrey’s legs and slowly making her way down Aubrey’s stomach. As she sucked softly on Aubrey’s clit, the Betazoid saw stars before her eyes. She came hard and Sabine moaned, her mouth and fingers ready. As Aubrey came off her climax, Sabine pulled herself up and rolled to her side so the two women could face each other. They shared almost-bashful smiles with one another.

“I know I said just tonight but….”Aubrey couldn’t imagine looking at the other woman as just a friend after what they’d just done.

“I will let this happen as often as you will allow it,” Sabine replied.

“We’re so fucked,” Aubrey moaned, trying to talk herself into feeling regret.

“In the best and most literal way possible,” Sabine replied, refusing to regret something that felt both good and right. She was tired of being alone and she trusted Aubrey as much as she trusted Cass. The Pike sisters had helped her and her friends stay alive. Why shouldn’t she pursue a relationship with Aubrey if they both felt such an obvious attraction?

Their lips met again, their tongues playfully battleing for possession of the other’s mouth.

“Straddle me,” Aubrey requested between kisses. “Only, this time, face the opposite direction.”

Sabine smiled, knowing exactly what Aubrey had in mind. They’d pleasure one another at the same time. She had long ago overcome any awkwardness she had once felt in this position.

The two women matched one another, lick for lick, touch for touch. For every thrust of Aubrey’s fingers, Sabine would stroke her own fingers deep and deeper until both women were panting and crying out in pleasure. They twisted against one another, finding pleasure in each movement that brought their bodies into contact. They each sought their own gratification while doing everything they could to please the other. Both lost count of how many times they pushed one another over the brink, occasionally changing positions or taking a break to rest, kiss, talk and laugh. A light layer of sweat covered each woman and when their lips met, they could taste themselves on one another. Aubrey and Sabine spent the rest of the night entangled, stopping only as the early light from the planet’s suns began streaming into the window.

“Sabs,” Aubrey murmured, exhausted from both how much energy she had expended pleasing the French woman and how much energy had coursed through her as she orgasmed again and again. “I think we’ve created a monster. There’s no way I’ll be able to keep my hands off you from now on.”

“Good,” Sabine answered sleepily. “I want you all over me.”

“We have to keep it from Cass – at least for the time being,” Aubrey replied, brushing her lips against Sabine’s forehead.

“I know,” Sabine responded. “But I do not regret anything we did tonight.” She idly caressed Aubrey’s breast as she spoke. They were silent after that, eventually falling asleep in one another’s arms. When they woke, they picked up where they had left off. Their bodies were sore from the positions they had contorted into in order to drive each other wild with pleasure, their lips still tumid from the night before but they didn’t care. Neither of them had ever been so entranced sexually by another being in quite some time and they would take full advantage of their remaining days alone. Aubrey knew she was in over her head – they both were. But she was past caring about the risks. When Cass returned from Earth, Aubrey didn’t say a word to harass her sister like she normally did after a visit with the Enterprise gang. She was preoccupied with her memories of kisses and climaxes. Aubrey was just waiting for the next moment she could steal away to be with Sabine.

* * *

 

“I have news from Earth that you will be interested in,” Adjoa said over the comm.

“Mmm, what is it?” Sabine asked, cradling her communicator between her shoulder and her ear, just as she had done with her cell phone back in their time. Cass and Aubrey had left, promising to return in a couple of weeks. Sabine was getting ready to return to work but she had commed Adjoa during the Togolaise’s lunch break to catch her best friend up on life. Both Sabine and Adjoa knew the Pike sisters would frown on their communications so they only corresponded when either woman felt it was absolutely necessary. Sabine had deemed this comm a necessity.

“They have tested France again and the radiation levels are manageable. They plan to rebuild there. Rumor is, they will even attempt to re-create a city where Paris was and name it after the original.”

“Really?” Sabine was shocked. She never thought she’d live to see her home country reborn.

“Yes. I will send you the article I read.”

“That would be amazing,” Sabine murmured.

“I know. With Marcus gone, and Section 31 dealing with the repercussions of his decisions, perhaps it is not so crazy to think about returning? We could watch your hometown be rebuilt.”

Sabine felt a twitch inside her gut as she imagined returning to Earth – not hiding anymore. It wouldn’t be the same, she knew it. Paris in this time would be a city where Standard was spoken. A city without Sacré-Coeur, the marchés aux puces, Sainte-Chapelle, and her favorite cafes. It would be missing the very things that had made it home. But to know there was a country she could think of as hers, a city that others would recognize if she said the name – it was something.

“Cass told me we should wait a while longer just to make sure we are safe,” Sabine replied. “But when she tells us we may come out of hiding, I would love to go back to Earth.” Sabine paused. She needed to tell Adjoa about what had happened. “I need to tell you some news of my own.”

“Hein? What is it? Good news?”

“Some of it, yes. But some no.” She briefly outlined what she could remember about her attack, including the sexual assault.

“Sabine, c’est horrible! You are okay?”

“Yes, I am fine now. I do not remember much. Going to the hospital and finding out about what had happened was worse than the actual incident.”

“You said you felt the sound…I do not understand,” Adjoa prodded gently.

“Moi non plus,” Sabine replied. “It was unlike anything I have felt before – very high pitched and it went through me – like I could feel it in every part of my body. And then everything went dark.”

“That sounds terrifying. Did they find anything on you that could identify the attacker? Fluids?” Adjoa risked the difficult question with the hope there would be some sort of lead.

“No,” Sabine admitted sadly. “They did an exam…” Sabine faltered for a moment, unwilling to use the words on the tip of her tongue to refer to herself but she steeled her nerves and continued. “No fluids, no hairs, not even a fingerprint or fleck of skin beneath my fingernails. Whoever did this either took the time to clean up after himself or he prepared in advance.”

“It was a male?”

“I think so. He felt male…humanoid. I distinctly remember thinking he was Terran – the smell. I couldn’t see much but he smelled human.”

“Sabine!” It was Adjoa’s turn to feel flabbergasted. She wasn’t sure what to say to her dearest friend. In all the losses and pains they had shared with one another, neither had ever dealt with sexual assault. How did you offer comfort to someone when their sense of security and self-worth had been so violently destroyed?

“Ma biche, I wish I were there with you,” Adjoa sighed finally. In the spaces between her words, Sabine could feel the emotions – she knew her friend was at a loss. A part of her was relieved Adjoa wasn’t there to see her go through what felt like a flimsy recovery. Sabine wasn’t sure how to recover from something that was, on one hand, so very intimate, and on the other hand, so distant. She didn’t remember the attack – only caught glimpses of it in memories that would float up like bubbles from her subconscious. She didn’t feel like she had been violated…but then she would wake up in the middle of the night, out of breath and clutching the sheets, ready to build a barricade out of every piece of furniture in her apartment to keep that man – or any other man – from ever entering.

“Me too. I miss you. But there is more. Cass believes the attack may be related to Section 31. It is part of why she has asked us all to remain in hiding.”

Adjoa clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “Well, at least I know why she is being so cautious now.”

“Also….” Sabine hesitated.

“What? Tell me. Is this the good news?” Both women were ready to change the subject. There was only so much they could do for one another over a comm. Adjoa quietly began to look at the Calendar on her PADD to determine when she would next be able to pay Sabine a visit.

“Maybe…” Sabine wasn’t sure how she should tell Adjoa her next piece of information.

“Go on then, oh! What are you waiting for? I do not have all day for a lunch break and Klingons are not a patient people.”

“Aubrey and I slept together!” It tumbled out in an excited and nervous rush.

“Non! C’est pas vrai! Like _slept together_?”

“Oui!”

“Oh wow! And Cass?”

“Has no idea. No one else knows. You cannot say anything to anyone.”

“My lips are sealed. Tell me all about it. How did this happen? Is this a thing now? Do you….have feelings for her?”

Sabine quickly explained how the two women had hooked up.

“Adjoa, it was some of the best sex I have ever had. And it just did not stop. We could not keep away from each other. For almost two days straight.”

“Oh lá! So it was very good?”

“I cannot stop thinking about her,” Sabine sighed. “J’ai hâte de la revoir.”

“This is really something. Cass will kill you both if she finds out.”

“Oui, mais j’en ai rien à foutre.”

“I am happy for you! It has been too long since I have heard you this content,” Adjoa replied.

“Thank you,” Sabine murmured, still reliving her tryst with Aubrey in her mind.

Adjoa wanted to ask what this meant in regards to McCoy but she held off. It was clear her friend had gone through a lot since their last comm. Even if this fling with Aubrey was nothing more than a way to forget what had happened during the mysterious attack, it had done her some good and that was all Adjoa really cared about for now. They could worry about Sabine’s ex-boyfriend later. The best friends continued to talk for another few minutes before Adjoa had to get back to work.

* * *

 

When Cass joined her sister in space, Aubrey had been running various illegal operations. None of them were particularly profitable, but they were enough to make ends meet. With Cass beside her, the sisters had taken Aubrey’s illegitimate hustling operation and turned it into a lucrative and semi-legal supply business. Cass’s contacts from the Academy provided the two women an opportunity to deliver supplies to ships like the Enterprise. They provided the items Starfleet didn’t think of for crews out in space – holovids, real foods, alcohol, antiquities like books, or the equipment necessary for a certain head of engineering to run a distillery right next to the warp core – they didn’t judge; a crew member would request it and they would procure it. And while most of those supplies were legal, a few, like the casks of Romulan ale they regularly delivered to the Enterprise, were very illegal. But there was also the side of the business Aubrey preferred – swindling others. Even that side changed with Cass’s arrival. Whereas Aubrey didn’t feel bad about who she robbed and why, Cass took a more humanitarian approach. She believed they should steal from those who were already doing illegal things – like Orion slave-traders, and then give back to those who needed it. Aubrey didn’t really care, as long as she still got to sneak around and wreck other people’s shit up a bit.

After a couple of years, the sisters were sitting on enough credits to consider getting separate ships. Aubrey would have said nothing if not for the fact that she now had a reason to want to be alone again – she wanted the freedom to visit Sabine as often as she liked without triggering Cass’s suspicions. Cass would continue to be the face of the more legal arm of the company – she would run supplies to Federation ships and bases. Aubrey would continue to steal from anyone she and Cass deemed questionable. With each of them in their own ships, Aubrey was now free to visit Sabine more frequently, and Cass could visit the Enterprise without putting up with shit from Aubrey about whether she and Bones were ever going to end up in bed together. Both sisters were happy.

* * *

 

Sabine sighed and rubbed her eyes. Staring at PADD screens for more than an hour at a time always made her tired. She was in her office at work, though it was the middle of the night so besides her, there was no one around, at least not in this section of the hospital. A floor below, there would be nurses and doctors working hard to take care of patients. But this was the perfect time for her to break into Starfleet’s databases and look through images of Section 31 agents. She had been doing this for months now. Theo and Oliver had taught her how to access the databases without getting caught. Her focus was narrow – she didn’t need to know about the latest Starfleet initiatives, the latest models of ships, etc. All Sabine wanted was to scroll through the files of the agents assigned to Section 31 – both past and current, looking for someone who might trigger her memory.

She had not had much luck yet. Holo after holo of agents would appear on her PADD and she swiped through them, nothing giving her a feeling of recognition or apprehension. Until she came across the file of Agent Tapper. She remembered him from her meeting with Admiral Marcus back at the Academy. But there was something more. Seeing his face repulsed her on a guttural level. Had it been him? Had Agent Tapper been the one to attack her? If so, why didn’t she remember him? He was one of the few agents she had interacted with (if you called throwing a glass pitcher at his head interaction) so how did she not realize he had been her attacker? She felt a headache coming on as she stared at his holo. Whatever the device was that he had used on her, it had left her unsure of anything. All she knew was that seeing his holo froze her in place and caused a heaviness to form in her stomach. She thought she might be sick and as far as Sabine was concerned, that was enough to identify him as her mystery attacker.

In looking through his file, Sabine saw that he had gone missing shortly after Khan’s attack on Daystrom. There was nothing in his file after that and he was assumed MIA. She wondered if it was worth looking for any and all Section 31 agents who may have gone missing at the same time. Before closing up and heading home, she sent Cass an encrypted message with all the information she had gathered and speculated on over the course of the evening. She knew Cass would be mad at her for hacking Starfleet again but she also knew the other telepath would follow up on what she’d done.

* * *

 

Cass was annoyed at Sabine for her extracurricular activities in the Starfleet databases, but she begrudgingly appreciated the work the other telepath was doing to find her attacker. And Sabine’s idea to troll the Section 31 personnel lists for any agents who had gone missing just after the London and Daystrom attacks was a good one. Unfortunately, it didn’t yield all that much. Obviously, there were a lot of agents in the London office who had died in the bombing there, like Commodore Nighy. But beyond those losses, Agent Tapper appeared to be one of the only agents to fall off the radar at the same time. Cass sighed in frustration. At the least, Sabine’s reaction to Tapper indicated, hopefully, that they had a suspect. It was better than nothing.


	79. Chapter 79

**_ Glimpses from the next three years: _ **

“There is no way we are using that,” Sabine told Aubrey, looking at the item before her in horror.

“Oh come on. Live a little.”

“I have lived. Quite a bit, thank you very much. And that? That is not a toy. In all my experiences, I have never seen something like that. It is a weapon. It will break me.”

“It will not,” scoffed Aubrey. “It’s double-sided, silly. The whole thing isn’t just for you.”

“Even half is too much. And none of those in any way look like a male penis. I am serious. It will not fit. That thing will rip me in half.”

“Yeesh, you sound like the start of every bad porn holo I’ve ever watched. It’s not a human male penis, anyway. It’s Klingon – that’s why there’s two of them on each end. It’s pretty damn accurate, actually,” Aubrey replied thoughtfully, staring at the long, large object with its appendages.

Sabine looked at the other woman incredulously. “That is what they look like?”

“Well, I mean, halve it. But yeah.”

“The knobs though. If someone showed up at the clinic with those, I would be trying to diagnose some sort of STI.”

“The knobs are what make sex with Klingons so good. You really need to expand your horizons, cutie.”

“And you propose I do that by using this?”

“Yeah!” Aubrey responded enthusiastically. “With me!”

“When you said you had toys, I was thinking something more manageable,” Sabine replied dubiously.

“Well, I have smaller, non-Klingon ones too. But honestly? By the end of the night, you’ll be begging for this.”

“Would you care to place a bet on that?” Sabine challenged.

“Sure,” Aubrey replied, undaunted.

Aubrey won the bet.

* * *

 

“You’re not seriously hitting on me again, are you?” Cass asked McCoy as they shared drinks in the officers’ lounge of the Enterprise.

He looked across the small table at the woman sitting on the other side. “What are you talking about?” he asked with a smile.

Cass rolled her eyes. They had played this same game so many times – it had become routine. “Spare me, cowboy. Don’t you get tired of me rejecting you?”

McCoy smiled. “Maybe I enjoy the chase,” he replied.

“Oh really?” She raised her eyebrows at him. “You realize you’re never going to catch me, right?”

“You keep saying that and yet, here we are, once again.” He had a point and he knew it. You didn’t have to be a telepath to know when there was a mutual attraction. He’d ignored the attraction while they were at the Academy but now that they each had their own lives, what was wrong with indulging themselves occasionally? It wasn’t like either of them wanted a serious relationship, right? McCoy had no illusions about Cass. He knew she liked to toy with men – it was part of why he’d avoided her charms at the Academy. But if she wanted to play hard to get, he was fine with that. He had nothing but time on his hands.

“Are you telling me I can’t have dinner and drinks with an old friend without it being some sort of sexual pursuit?” she asked him, her voice full of skepticism.

“You can have an innuendo-free dinner with anyone on this ship,” he replied. “And yet, you always make time for dinner with me.”

“You’re getting a little big for your britches,” she said with a smile, shaking her head.

“Hey,” he said to her, grabbing her hand off the table. “If you want me to lay off, just tell me.”

They stared at one another for a moment and Cass slowly pulled her hand out of his.

“I can’t do this,” she whispered to him. “I’m sorry but you and I can’t be a thing.”

He scrutinized her. “You’re serious,” he said, seeing the resolve in her eyes.

“Sadly, yes,” she replied.

“Is this about Sabine? Is this some weird thing where you feel like you can’t date me because she and I dated? Because, I’m not sure if you know this, but she cheated on me, Cass. You owe her nothing when it comes to me.”

Cass sighed, annoyed. “I know she cheated on you. You bring it up almost anytime you hear her name mentioned. But this has nothing to do with her. We can’t be a thing because you’ll never be what I want you to be.”

She felt a sting as she remembered Varik. After all this time, she still missed him. He could have been exactly what she wanted. Could have. But not now.

McCoy sat quiet for a moment. “Just what do you want from me that I can’t give?” he finally asked.

“Bones, I want an actual relationship. I want a partner. You know that’s not what this would be,” she gestured between them for emphasis.

It was his turn to sigh. “Well, you’ve got me there,” he said. “When did you become so domesticated?”

“A lot’s changed in the last couple of years,” Cass replied. “But you can be my friend. And I can be yours. We’ve got a good thing here. Why mess it up?”

She smiled at him. McCoy did his best to return her smile and Cass felt another sharpness inside her as she sensed his feelings of rejection.

“You know,” she said lightly, and not completely truthfully, “If I did want a one-night stand, or something more casual, you’d be the first person I’d turn to.”

“I bet you say that to all the men you meet for dinner,” he grumbled, but his demeanor was more relaxed than a moment before.

“Only the cute ones. Now drink up,” she replied, raising her glass. He met hers with his own and they both sipped their bourbon. It was rare that Cass let herself enjoy alcohol anymore so she sipped it slowly, wanting to draw out the single drink she would indulge in for the next few weeks.

* * *

 

“I’m telling you, recruitment is down across the fleet. The Khan incident really hurt us,” Jim said in frustration.

“Yeah, well, people don’t like learning about the dark side of the Federation,” Cass replied.

“You gotta tell me where they are. All of them deserve to be reinstated if they’re willing.”

“So let me get this straight – you think I should reveal everyone’s locations just because you’re short-staffed? Jim, twelve people, no matter how extraordinary they are, aren’t gonna solve Starfleet’s recruiting issues.”

“I know that,” he responded tartly. “And I’m not understaffed. The Enterprise has a full crew. But a lot of other ships and bases can’t say that. And even if only one Resurrection crew member was assigned to a post, it would make a difference – you know I’m right. Cass, it’s been two years since you guys disappeared.”

“Yeah, and yet we still have to watch our backs. Several of them have been attacked in the last year. Just like what happened with Sabine on X0-19. They’re all alive but it’s clear that someone or some group of individuals is targeting them. I’m not telling you where they are. Frankly, I’m at my wit’s end. It’s no small task constantly finding new identities and locations for twelve people.”

“And that’s why you should listen to me. If they are being targeted – and I believe you when you say they are,” he noted as she opened her mouth to object, “then the best place for them is on a Starfleet ship or base. They’ll have protection. You can’t keep sending them off to isolated mining colonies and the like.”

“Hey guys,” Aubrey finally spoke up. “Here’s a crazy idea – why don’t you let them decide for themselves? Some of them might want to rejoin your precious star troops and maybe some of them like the lives they have.”

Jim remained silent for a moment then looked over at Cass.

“It’s not a bad idea….”

“I’ve heard worse. But I’ve also heard better,” she replied. Aubrey flipped her off. “Fine. We let them decide. And if something happens to anyone who chooses to rejoin Starfleet under their real identity, it’s on you, Jim.”

“I think I can handle it,” he replied even as he wrestled with the idea of being responsible for additional lives. The Enterprise was about to embark on its five-year mission – the first ship in the fleet to remain in space for so long in one stretch and the idea of having 430 lives in his hands was heavy enough. But he believed in Starfleet. He knew if the Resurrection crew came back, they would be taken care of.

Meanwhile, Aubrey and Cass (to a lesser extent) weren’t so wild about the crew rejoining Starfleet under their true identities. As far as Aubrey was concerned, Starfleet and the Federation deserved every bit of grief they were suffering from the Khan/Section 31 fallout. She’d always hated the secret group and had been relieved to get Cass out alive. Section 31, in Aubrey’s mind, was just the hypocrisy of the Federation writ large. Cass, on the other hand, worried more that letting the crew assume their real identities again would just draw more trouble than they were already facing.

In the end, seven members of the Resurrection IV crew decided to return to Starfleet – Tatyana, Seiji, Jinjing, Jayesh, Mía, Anthony, and John rejoined Starfleet and were assigned to different ships and bases throughout the fleet. The others decided to remain anonymous.

* * *

 

Maria was coming home from a long day of translating a classic Caitian novel into Standard. She opened the door to her apartment and realized her beau wasn’t home yet. He tended to work late though so she didn’t think much of it as she ordered the lights on and went to the kitchen to start fixing dinner for them both. As she closed the door to the cooler, she heard and felt a high-pitched sound in her left ear. It was the last thing she remembered before she hit the ground.

Later that night, her boyfriend found her. She remained unconscious for several days and upon reviving, she couldn’t remember anything other than that sound which had cut through her in a way she’d never felt before.

A day later, in another quadrant, Jayesh was on shore leave, taking a walk in the park when he felt and heard the same high-pitched sound in his ear. He was found two days later passed out on a bench in that same park. He regained consciousness several days after that and verified that nothing had been stolen from his person.

When Cass got the news on both Maria and Jayesh, she gritted her teeth. That made eight members of the crew who had been attacked by the “high-pitched noise man” as she had come to call whoever was behind it all. And Jayesh was in Starfleet so all Jim’s big words about how safe they would be if they just rejoined now rang hollow. But what she was really worried about was the closeness in time of the attacks on Maria and Jayesh, and the distance between their respective locations. It made Cass think there was more than one individual behind the attacks and if so, that meant the attacks were a coordinated effort of two or more people. It smacked of Section 31 and yet, despite Sabine’s insistence that Agent Tapper was the one who had attacked her, none of the other crew members felt similarly about him, or any of the other holos Cass showed them of various Section 31 agents. And they’d made no headway on finding Agent Tapper. It was like he had disappeared. Even Theo and Oliver, the crafty devils that they were, couldn’t find him. While no one had been assaulted like Sabine had been, Cass was convinced the attacks were dangerous, even if none of the attacked crew members had exhibited any fall-out as of yet. It had been almost a year since the first incident with Sabine on X0-19 and neither Cass nor Aubrey nor any of their associates had any good leads on who was perpetrating the crimes and why.

* * *

 

“How is it going with Aubrey?”

Adjoa asked as she sat across from Sabine at a café on the newly-opened Yorktown base. Behind them, at a table off to their left, sat two poorly-disguised Klingons who looked uncomfortable to be surrounded by so many other species. On the sly, Sabine had snapped a holo of them, finding it droll to see the oversized guards trying to blend in by sitting at a tiny table, pretending to enjoy their coffees. But they were the price Adjoa paid if she wanted to leave Klingon space. Her employer was taking no chance she would be abducted or attacked the way her friends had. Frankly, Sabine was a little jealous. She wished the Federation would be as protective of the rest of them as the Klingon Empire was of Adjoa. But then, if it was Section 31, or an offshoot, attacking them, the Federation was in part to blame. Maybe they should have all gone to the Klingons? Adjoa had found them to be sympathetic to her concerns – could the rest of them say that about the Federation? She shook her head and refocused on the question Adjoa had asked her.

Sabine sighed. “Do you want the real answer?”

“Of course. Why would I want a fake answer?”

“I do not know. Because on the surface? Everything is great. Since she and Cass got separate ships, I see so much more of her and it is wonderful. But I keep thinking she will get bored with me soon. Sometimes I wonder about who else she might be seeing.”

Adjoa looked up in surprise at that. “You are not exclusive?”

“I am. But you know Aubrey. Out there on all those adventures – who knows who she meets and what happens.”

“You could know. You are a stronger telepath, after all.”

“I would never do that to her. She is very sensitive about our unequal telepathic abilities.”

“Have you tried just talking to her and asking if she sleeps around when she is gone?”

Sabine remained silent, looking down at her coffee instead of making eye-contact with Adjoa.

“Well, maybe that is the problem. You have been together for over two years. Why have you not sat down and talked about the nature of your relationship?”

“I am scared,” Sabine replied. “I really care for Aubrey. What if she tells me this is just a lark? That I am just one of several lovers she keeps?”

“You should know that sooner than later, oh!”

“I know,” Sabine said guiltily. “We should have discussed it a long time ago. But she keeps most of her things at my place and I just…I like to assume she feels the same way I do.”

“That would seem to be a dangerous assumption,” Adjoa noted. “If you had not hesitated to answer my initial question, I would be inclined to let your assumption go. But since you have reservations about its validity, I think you need to work this out.”

“You are right,” Sabine sighed. “I should stop putting it off. But enough about me. Tell me about the new position!”

The women moved on to talk about how Adjoa had been promoted within the Klingon Engineering Academy and what that entailed. Then they talked about Adjoa’s love life. They basked in the enjoyment of seeing one another again. Adjoa and Sabine had both declined the offer to rejoin Starfleet under their actual identities. Sabine liked being on Yorktown and liked her job at the Starfleet hospital. She was happy keeping a false identity and remaining on the outskirts of the known galaxy at Yorktown. Meanwhile, Adjoa had fallen in love with the Klingon lifestyle and would never choose to give it up – and even if she did, she doubted the Klingons would let her go without a fight.

* * *

 

“It had us trapped against a wall – what were we supposed to do?”

“Dammit, Jim. You can’t go blasting every alien that corners you. This is how wars start.”

“Normally, Doctor, I would concur with you. But in this case, I feel the captain’s apprehension, and his decision to act on it –”

“Put a cork in it, Spock. I expect him to go off half-cocked but you’re supposed to keep him from blowing things up.”

“Bones, that’s not fair. Spock blows shit up all the time,” Jim said with a hint of a smile.

“You two,” McCoy snarled, “are gonna be the death of me.”

“Should we expect said death soon?” Spock asked in a rare and sassy display of his human side, raising his eyebrow as he asked the question. Jim stifled a laugh. Both men had just survived what they believed to be a near-death experience. That beast the doctor was harping on them for killing, endangered as it may be, had definitely intended to eat them, of that Spock was 94.27% certain. Had the captain not shot it with his phaser, this argument wouldn’t be happening at all. McCoy wouldn’t have two other people to fight with. It was all well and good for Doctor McCoy to come in after the fact and try to lecture them about animal rights but he had not been the one staring down five rows of razor-sharp teeth.

“Put your damn eyebrow back down,” McCoy snipped at Spock.

Instead, the Vulcan raised his other eyebrow.

“I said, put it down, not raise ‘em both, you damn hobgoblin!”

McCoy glared at both men in front of him and then turned away, grumbling about goddamn away missions. A year and eight months into the Enterprise’s five-year mission and he’d already had more than his fair share of adventure. He wanted to get back to the ship and have a glass of Romulan ale. Cass had just replenished their supply.

But later, back on the ship, McCoy stopped by Jim’s quarters instead of heading to his own, where a glorious decanter of the illegal ale awaited him. He was crankier than usual as the captain let him in.

“You wanna tell me what the hell that was all about back there?” he growled at his friend, taking a seat without prompting.

“Bones, you’re gonna have to be more specific. A lot happened today,” Jim sighed, handing the doctor a drink as he took his own seat across from McCoy.

“I walked in on you two holding hands after you killed the wumperat. You do know what that is to a Vulcan right?”

Jim looked at McCoy with equal parts exhaustion and confusion on his face. “What are you talking about? What’s significant about hand-holding to Vulcans?” he asked.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Look, since you’re clearly here to yell at me about something, get to the fucking point. I’m not kidding. Why does it matter if I grabbed Spock’s hand because I thought we were gonna die?”

“Jim, they have sex with their goddamn hands. You basically gave him a handjob.”

Jim had to fight back the urge to laugh. There wasn’t really anything funny about what Bones was telling him but he sure hadn’t felt like he was giving a handjob. He’d felt fear, adrenaline, and as he’d aimed his phaser at the beast, he’d also reached out for Spock, needing reassurance that they were going to make it out of this alive. And reassurance was exactly what he’d felt in return. Through that connection, he’d felt Spock’s confidence in him. It had been exactly what he’d needed to make the shot that saved their lives. Now, if McCoy wanted to harp on something, maybe he could nitpick over why they’d still been holding hands so many minutes after the creature had fallen before them. But Jim hadn’t thought anything of it at the time.

“I can tell you with complete certainty – no one had sex while we were holding hands,” he finally responded.

McCoy cocked an eyebrow at him and Jim resisted the urge to tell his friend to put his own damn eyebrows away.

“I’m serious,” he said instead. “There was nothing sexual about it. We thought we were gonna die.”

McCoy grunted in return. He’d been keeping an eye on Jim and Spock ever since Jim had regained consciousness after the Khan incident. He couldn’t put his finger on it but something was different between the two men. Of course, it was natural that their friendship had deepened, what with Jim sacrificing himself for the ship, and Spock finding Khan to bring him to justice. But McCoy suspected there was something more to it and he’d be damned if he could figure out what. Uhura and Spock were still together but he was starting to wonder just how strong that relationship really was. Because if what he’d seen today was any indication, Jim and Spock were rapidly becoming more than just friends and colleagues.

* * *

 

“Are you sleeping with other beings when you are out there?” Sabine took a huge gulp of wine after forcing the question out of her mouth. Aubrey had just returned from a month away and the two women were enjoying a celebratory dinner together. But Sabine had more than being reunited on her mind. She had finally decided it was time to tell Aubrey she wanted mutual exclusivity in their relationship. Aubrey was always prompting her to be more forthcoming with her thoughts and feelings. For better or worse, the half-Betazoid was about to get her wish.

Aubrey looked up at Sabine with less surprise than Sabine had anticipated.

“Is it a problem if I am?” She asked the question sincerely, though the fact that it was being brought up at all gave her a pretty good idea of what to expect as an answer.

“I…I would like it if we were only sleeping with one another,” Sabine replied, gaining confidence with each word. She could do this. It was Aubrey, after all. When they were together, they spent most of their time laughing and content. They hardly ever argued. Of all the relationships Sabine had been in, this one had been the easiest, by far. Aubrey was like a best friend with whom Sabine just happened to enjoy some of the best sex of her life. Surely the other woman would be reasonable about her desire for greater commitment.

“This means a lot to you, huh?” Aubrey asked, sensing and seeing Sabine’s emotions.

“It does. I am not interested in sleeping with anyone else but you.”

“Though you could, if you wanted. I wouldn’t mind.” Aubrey studied her girlfriend and continued. “But if you want me to stop sleeping with others, I’ll do it for you.”

“Really?” Sabine gave her a huge smile. Hell, for a smile like that, Aubrey would attempt celibacy. Thank God that wasn’t on the table.

“Yeah, really. You know I’m crazy for you.” She sensed all of Sabine’s anxiety dissipating. “Good grief, all that nervousness was for this simple request?”

Sabine nodded in reply.

“Come here, you foolish girl,” Aubrey beckoned Sabine to come sit on her lap and the other woman acquiesced. “When are you gonna realize how much you mean to me? You want to be exclusive? You got it. You deserve to get what you want, babe. Never doubt that.”

Aubrey buried her face in Sabine’s neck. When she was home, Sabine was all she could think about. But she had no illusions as to how difficult it would be to remain faithful while she was out on her runs across the galaxy. She’d meant what she’d said though. If Sabine wanted commitment, she’d happily put all her efforts into avoiding finding herself in another being’s bed. Aubrey had never given monogamy a try and a part of her was excited to see what all the fuss was about.

* * *

 

Jim, Uhura, Scotty, and McCoy materialized on the transporter platform. Spock and Ensign Kyle looked on from the transporter panel as their bodies reappeared.

No one said anything for a moment. The four people on the platform looked around to make sure they had arrived safely.

Jim was the first one to step off the platform and he gave Spock an appreciative look as the other members of the landing party followed him.

“Spock,” he said with more than just a touch of relief in his voice.

“Welcome home, Captain,” Spock replied.

Spock felt the mental unrest before he identified its source – Doctor McCoy. Something had happened to the doctor during the time they were trapped in the parallel universe. He could not investigate further at the moment because the captain was asking him about what had happened on the Enterprise while they were away and their counterparts had been on the ship. Spock gave him a full report.

Uhura looked over at McCoy. “Never thought I’d say this, but these uniforms aren’t so bad in comparison.”

“Yeah,” the doctor replied distractedly. She’d noticed how quiet he’d been when the other Spock showed up in the transporter room of the alternate Enterprise, dragging him along. She wondered what had happened in med bay with just the two of them. But it was clear McCoy didn’t feel much like talking.

A few hours later, Spock rang the chimes of McCoy’s quarters. The doors opened but Spock found a wary doctor on the other side.

“What do you want, Spock?”

“Doctor, I sensed a great mental unease emanating from you upon your return. I can feel it still.”

“What, you’re a Betazoid now?” McCoy cocked a skeptical eyebrow at the Vulcan.

“No. However, most telepaths can detect emotions from others if the emotions are sufficiently strong enough.”

“So?” McCoy challenged him.

“I wish to inquire as to what happened in the other universe that has led to your current state.”

McCoy looked at Spock with eyes full of distrust before sighing and taking a seat on the couch in the living area. He motioned for Spock to sit as well. For a couple of minutes, neither man said anything. Spock waited patiently for the doctor to speak.

“Your…doppleganger… he did a mind meld on me.”

Spock raised an eyebrow.

“He wanted to know why the Captain was acting so contrary to what he expected,” McCoy murmured, rubbing his face tiredly.

“You did not assent to the meld?” Spock asked.

“Of course not. I’m not a damn fool,” McCoy snapped. He looked at the Vulcan. “Sorry. I’m still trying to remember you’re not him. The lack of goatee helps,” he mumbled with a weak smile.

“A mind meld done without consent is a grievous action,” Spock stated, almost as though thinking out loud. “No wonder you are in such a state of unrest.”

McCoy stared down at his hands. “You know what the worst part was?” His voice was barely audible. “He was in my mind and I could hear his thoughts, could see the things he’d done – the things my counterpart, Jim’s counterpart – all of us… We’d all done horrible things. I don’t know how I’ll get those images out of my head.”

“I could assist you,” the Vulcan offered. He had the ability to make others forget. But McCoy just stared at him.

“Don’t mess with my mind. I had enough of that from your evil twin.”

“As you wish,” Spock answered. He stood to leave.

“Spock, there’s one more thing,” McCoy began hesitantly.

“Yes, Doctor?”

“When he melded with me…the other Spock. He said…he said he’d never seen anything quite like it. Said I was one of a kind.”

McCoy looked at Spock with confusion and apprehension. “He mentioned something about not being the first to reside in my mind. I…I don’t know what he meant.”

McCoy stared intensely at Spock. The Vulcan remained stonefaced.

“I do not know what to tell you about my counterpart’s comments. I have no grounds to make an accurate comment on the uniqueness of your mind.”

Spock could think of several explanations he could give the doctor for what his counterpart had said but he was sworn to Jim to reveal none of them. It was not a position he enjoyed being in as Vulcans did not lie. Yet here he was, if not outright lying, then definitively evading the truth.

McCoy scowled. “And I intend it to stay that way. I don’t need you poking around in there.” He stood. “I’m tired, Spock. You should go.”

Spock considered his options and moved to the door.

“If I can be of assistance, Doctor, do not hesitate to ask.”

The doctor mumbled something incomprehensible in reply and Spock calculated that there was an 80% chance whatever McCoy had mumbled was crude and/or derogatory. He left.

A day later, McCoy joined Spock and Jim on the bridge.

“What I don’t understand is how you were able to identify our counterparts so quickly,” Jim mused to Spock as the three men bantered.

“It was far easier for you as civilized men to behave like barbarians than it was for them as barbarians to behave like civilized men,” Spock answered. He continued, “I assume they returned to their Enterprise at the same time you appeared here.”

“Probably, however that Jim Kirk will find a few changes, if I read my Spocks correctly,” Jim teased. Spock considered his comment.

“Jim, I think I liked him with a beard better,” McCoy quipped. “Gave him character. ‘Course, almost any change would be a distinct improvement.” At that, Spock’s face shifted ever so slightly and his features took on a look of Vulcan annoyance.

Jim chuckled before responding. “What worries me is the easy way his counterpart fit into that other universe. I always thought Spock was a bit of a pirate at heart.”

“Indeed, gentlemen,” Spock stated, no emotion in his voice. “May I point out that I had an opportunity to observe your counterparts here quite closely. They were brutal, savage, unprincipled, uncivilized, treacherous. In every way, splendid examples of homo sapiens. The very flower of humanity. I found them quite refreshing.”

Jim and McCoy were silenced momentarily.

“I’m not sure but I think we’ve been insulted,” Jim said to McCoy.

“I’m sure,” the doctor replied dryly before taking leave of the bridge.

Spock observed that if McCoy was feeling good enough to verbally spar with him, perhaps he was getting over what the other Spock had done to him. All the same, Spock kept his distance for a while until he had seen enough to be sure the doctor was fully back to his contrarian ways.

* * *

 

“I have a weird question for you,” Sabine said with a warm smile to the man sitting across from her in the hospital break room.

“Knowing you, I can only imagine what to expect,” he replied with a chuckle in his voice and his eyes full of mirth.

“Mmm, point taken. I hope you will not think me rude,” she continued.

“Of all the beings I’ve met? I would hardly consider you rude. What is it?”

“Your first name. Is it really Geoff?” Sabine had long wondered and considering how much she had shared with her fellow doctor, it didn’t seem like too much to ask a potentially personal question in return.

He smiled widely at her. “I was expecting far worse. This is easy. Geoffrey is my middle name. My first name is Jabilo but no one besides my mother calls me that, and she only does it when I’m in trouble.”

The two doctors shared a laugh.

“Why do you ask?” he demanded gently.

“I think you are from the eastern part of Africa and I wondered if it worked the same now as it had in my time. Back then, many Africans would have their traditional, tribal given names but would then adopt a more euro-centric first name for use in business.”

He nodded thoughtfully at her. “You’re right that I’m from the eastern part of the United States of Africa – Uganda, specifically. I can’t speak to your time as well as you can, obviously, but there is significantly less impetus to adopt an anglicized name nowadays. I come by Geoffrey as my name because it was my father’s name and my grandfather before him. I’m sure if I went back far enough in my ancestors, I’d find someone who adopted it for purposes of more credibility or ease in dealing with the former Western superpowers, but not many of us think about how the past has influenced the present. You are the obvious exception, having had the unique chance to live in multiple times.”

Even though the doctors were alone in the break room, Sabine still felt a little nervous about discussing her past so openly. Geoff was the only person, outside of Cass, Aubrey, and the Resurrection crew, who knew her past, in part because Geoff M’Benga was her personal physician. But if anyone could keep a secret, it was him. Like the majority of the staff at the Yorktown Starbase General Hospital, they had started at the same time. Sabine and Geoff had hit it off immediately. Since leaving the Academy, Sabine had served as her own physician but to work at Starfleet’s newest hospital, on its prestigious new starbase, she was required to choose a personal physician from her colleagues. Geoff had been the obvious choice and after his first exam, it became clear Sabine had chosen wisely. He pulled her aside into a private room to discuss the results of her bloodwork and brain scans. Without judgment or prying questions, he told Sabine her test results were highly unusual – an anomaly really. To give her proper treatment, he would either need to know more about her background or she could choose to use another physician and he would never discuss her results with anyone else. She told him the truth and he accepted it in stride, as though they were talking about a walk in the park, and not time travel with a side of unusual mental abilities. In time, she would learn that his unflappable disposition and capacity to treat shocking news as though it were mundane came from the years he had spent studying medicine on Vulcan and New Vulcan.

Sabine and Geoff realized quickly that they worked well together. They agreed with one another on the nurses they preferred to work with as well as how they wanted things handled while on shift. Sabine didn’t realize it yet, but the friendship she formed with M’Benga would end up benefiting not just herself, but others, when the time came.

* * *

 

“There are four remaining crew members to find.”

“Yeah, and at least one of them is out of bounds. I’m not going into Klingon space just to steal some memories.”

“What’s the status on unlocking the telepath’s memories?”

“Hell if I know. I don’t think they’ll ever get them opened.”

“They better. She’s not gonna like it if we don’t find all the information she wants.”

“Yeah, well, she can kiss my ass.”

The two agents talked a big game but if their supervisor were there, neither would breathe a word against her. Everyone knew you didn’t piss off the chief.

As if on cue, the doors to the control center whooshed open and Commodore Nighy walked in.

“Gentlemen,” she said curtly to the agents in the room, some of whom were female. “Where do we stand on the remaining crew members?”

One of the female agents spoke up in a tentative voice. “Sir, we have nothing on the Australian or the Britt.”

“After all this time?” the Commodore sighed.

“Sorry, sir. Every time we think we’ve found them, they disappear again.”

“Unacceptable. Double the number of agents trying to track them,” Commodore Nighy snapped.

“Yes, sir,” the agent said meekly.

“What of the crew member living with the Klingons?” Nighy asked impatiently.

The two agents looked at one another worriedly.

“She has not left Klingon airspace for quite some time.”

“The next time she visits the telepath, I want someone there! No excuses!”

“Yes, sir.”

Commodore Nighy sighed audibly. “Does anyone have any good news for me?”

“Sir, we think we have a lead on the Chinese woman.”

“Well, that’s more like it.”

“We’ll continue to monitor her movements – see if we can’t catch her away from the ship she’s been stationed on,” the tracker continued.

“Good. Don’t mess this up,” Commodore Nighy replied before leaving the center. A collective sigh of relief could be heard and felt once she was gone. Everyone in the center wondered what had happened to the Commodore they’d all heard such good things about before agreeing to this project. Had all their friends been wrong? Had she always been such a tireless, single-minded manager? Or was this project just that special? None of them knew – they just knew they wanted to get things done and get back to their previous lives. In light of how much Section 31 had changed after Marcus’s death, most of them were regretting their choice to leave and join this group, which was starting to feel as sinister as anything Marcus had ever cooked up.

* * *

 

“I never see you anymore,” Sabine said as she hugged Cass warmly.

“I know. Things have been insane lately,” Cass replied, as she shrugged her coat off. “How are you?” She took a good look at her friend. Sabine was glowing. And her apartment looked nice. Cass saw a print on the wall that reminded her of one Aubrey had done as a kid but she brushed it off. Didn’t all kids’ art kinda look the same?

“Good,” Sabine said cautiously, knowing that what she had to tell Cass was going to be difficult. “Do you want something to drink?”

“Sure. Whatcha got?”

“The usual. Will wine do? Come on in and make yourself comfortable,” Sabine gestured to the hallway which led to a living space and kitchen area.

“Hey sis,” Aubrey called from her spot on the couch as the other two women entered the living room. Sabine veered to the kitchen while Cass stared at her sister.

“Hey,” she said, confused, but not yet upset. “What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were gonna be on Yorktown right now!”

Aubrey and Sabine shared a look and Cass began to get the feeling something was up.

“Wait. What’s going on?” she asked. “Is someone hurt? Was there another attack?”

“No,” Sabine rushed to answer. “Everything is fine.”

“Better than fine,” Aubrey added. “Why don’t you sit down?” she asked her sister. Sabine brought two glasses of wine over and handed one to Cass, taking a seat in the armchair facing the couch where Cass and Aubrey were sitting.

“You two are making me nervous,” Cass muttered, taking a sip of her wine and eyeing her sister and friend suspiciously. “Why do I have a feeling you’re about to drop something on me?”

“Because you’re feeding off our emotions like the telepathic leech you are,” Aubrey shot back. She looked at Sabine. “Let’s just get this over with already.”

Sabine’s eyes widened in a momentary panic before she regained some of her composure.

“Aubrey and I are…we have been seeing each other,” Sabine choked out.

Cass just stared at both women. “What?”

“We’re together, stupid,” Aubrey answered. “Don’t act like you don’t understand what she’s saying.”

“How fucking long has this been happening?” Anger was seeping into Cass’s voice and emanating from her.

“Almost three years,” Sabine replied in a small voice.

“What the actual fuck?” Now Cass was furious. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Because we knew you’d freak the fuck out, just like you are right now. Calm down,” Aubrey replied sardonically.

Cass took a minute to pull herself together as she reeled from the news. In doing so, she had a chance to look around the apartment. Aubrey’s stuff was all over the place.

“You live here?” she asked her sister incredulously.

“When I’m not on the cruiser? Yeah. I guess I do. Stop making this a bigger deal than it is,” she cautioned her younger sister.

“You guys have been playing house for three years and you want to tell me to not have feelings about this? Christ, guys. And you,” she turned on Sabine. “Where were these masterful skills of deception when we needed them at the Academy?”

“I did not deceive you,” Sabine replied. “We have not seen each other very much the last two years. When we do get together, we talk about other things. If you had asked –”

“How the holy shitballs would I have known to ask?” Cass had a good point and Sabine knew it. She was radiating nervousness and shame while Aubrey was emitting defiance.

“I cannot believe you wouldn’t tell me.”

“You made it clear that you would never support something like this. Even now, rather than being happy for us, you’re angry. Why would we tell you?” Aubrey demanded.

“I don’t support this because I know you. Both of you.” Cass turned to Aubrey. “Is this a game to you? When are you going to get bored? Don’t tell me you’re ready to be in a lifebond.” Then she turned to Sabine. “I didn’t want you to get involved with her because she can’t commit to anyone. Haven’t you had enough heartbreak for one lifetime? Has she told you about our childhood? What happened?”

Before Sabine could answer, Aubrey replied.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Aubrey said, her voice low with anger.

Cass stood. “Sure, okay. I’ve only known you my entire life. You’re right. I don’t know the first thing about you. How could I? Anytime things get rough, you run. Thanks for the wine, guys.” She set her glass down on the coffee table and turned once again to Sabine. “Don’t come crying to me when she breaks your heart.” With that, she stormed out of the apartment, grabbing her coat at the door before slamming it shut.

“Well, that could’ve been worse,” Aubrey muttered. Sabine slumped in her chair.

“Come here,” Aubrey patted the seat next to her on the couch. Sabine obliged her, curling up in the other woman’s outstretched arms.

“It’ll be okay. She’ll fume for a little bit then cool off,” Aubrey whispered, her lips grazing Sabine’s forehead.

“I know,” Sabine whispered in return, taking one of Aubrey’s hands in hers. “I just wish we could skip the angry part.” Sabine paused, then took a deep breath before continuing. “What did she mean about your childhood?”

Aubrey groaned. “Don’t worry about it,” she assured the other woman. Feeling Sabine’s still-present worry, Aubrey rolled her eyes and added, “Our dad was a jerk. I ran away from home at age eleven. Cass freaks out about it to this day because she thinks I should have sought counseling or something. But, I’m a Betazoid. I think I know a little bit about dealing with emotions.”

Sabine pulled away and looked at her girlfriend, gently caressing Aubrey’s cheek. “I am so sorry,” she murmured.

Aubrey shook her hand away. “I didn’t tell you because I don’t want you to look at me like that. I’m not a helpless child and I don’t need you to feel bad for me.” She saw and felt that her tone was upsetting Sabine and she took a moment to calm down. When she spoke again, her voice was more soothing. “I know you just want to comfort me, but it’s okay. I’m over what happened back then. And I wish Cass would get over it too. She’s so certain I’ll never be able to love another person because of something I dealt with a long time ago.”

Sabine could feel the other woman’s emotions – her confidence, her annoyance at her younger sister. Rather than respond in words, she snuggled closer to Aubrey, allowing the Pike sister to comfort her.

Both women sat in silence, contemplating Cass’s next move. They could only hope she wouldn’t run back to the bottle to drown her feelings.

* * *

 

Jim was concerned.

The Enterprise crew had been enjoying shore leave on Risa when Cass had sent him and Bones a message asking where they were. They’d invited her to join them on the planet and she’d made it there in record time. But now he was watching her and Bones take what had to be their seventh set of shots at the bar rather than chatting up the gorgeous red head sitting next to him. When Cass had shown up, she’d been in a foul mood and had taken to drinking right away. Jim had kept an eye on her, hoping she’d settle down. Instead, she and Bones had gotten into some sort of drinking competition. He saw the way Cass was looking at the doctor, saw her touch McCoy’s arm, laughing, her hand lingering a little longer than it should. While Cass and Bones had always been a little flirtatious, Jim had seen enough to realize something was different this time and he didn’t like it one bit.

“Goddammit,” he muttered under his breath.

He excused himself from the red head, taking one last mournful look at what he had hoped to be spending his evening doing, and walked over to the bar.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Jim kept his voice light.

“Jimmy!” Cass threw her arms around his neck and sloppily slid off her bar stool to fully embrace him. He’d never seen her this drunk and he was pretty sure he would live the rest of his life happy if no one called him Jimmy again.

“Jim,” Bones slurred. “Tell Cass she can’t outdrink me.”

“If you ask me, neither of you should have anything else. Can’t you call it a draw?” Jim was decidedly not happy about having to be the voice of reason. Was this what growing up meant? Now he would have to be the one to tell others to behave? This shit was for the birds. If he kept it up, he’d be like Spock, back on the ship doing research while everyone else had a good time. The very thought made him shudder.

Cass pouted. “Where’s the fun in that? Besides, if Bones wins, I take him to bed. And if I win, he takes me to bed!”

“Yeah, that’s definitely not happening,” Jim said firmly, putting his arm around Cass’s waist and throwing her arm around his shoulder to keep her from sinking to the ground. “You two have had more than enough. Say goodnight, guys.”

“Goodnight, guys,” McCoy replied, turning around to ask the bartender for another shot. Jim sighed. Bones could handle himself. Hell, the man survived on alcohol and complaining. He’d be fine. But Cass was a drink away from passing out.

As for McCoy, there were certain things he wouldn’t do and one of them was to take a woman to bed when she was too intoxicated to enjoy the experience; to say nothing of his own abilities to navigate intimacy at this point. When Cass had come storming into the bar, she’d made a beeline for him and told him she intended to get drunk and go to bed with him. He’d seen the thunder and lightning in her eyes. What if they just left now, no drinks involved, and found a place to talk, he’d asked her, hoping he could get her to calm down before any bedroom antics started. But she’d refused, saying she needed to be drunk if she was going to go through with this. In that moment, McCoy had realized he wasn’t taking her to bed. He wasn’t gonna sleep with Cass if she needed to get wasted to do it. They had a week of shore leave ahead of them – he was sure he could find a woman within that week who wouldn’t need to be inebriated to sleep with him. For tonight, he was going to get good and soused. No sex.

“Come on, let’s get you back to your room,” Jim said to Cass, turning away from the bar and trying to make his way to the exit.

“I don’t have a room, silly. That’s why I gotta keep drinking. I’m gonna stay with Bones.”

“No, you’re not. You can stay with me,” Jim replied, his tone allowing no arguments. They made it out of the club and into the street, which was thankfully quiet.

“Will staying with you piss Sabine off?” Cass slurred, stumbling a bit as they walked and wobbled to the hotel.

Jim thought quickly. If Cass was trying to sleep with Bones, which would undoubtedly piss Sabine off, then he knew what he needed to say. “Yes. She’ll be livid.”

“Good,” Cass said, suddenly spinning around so that she was in front of him. Before Jim could react, Cass placed a sloppy kiss on his lips. He gently pushed her away and took her arm around his shoulder again. “Jesus, Cass. I can’t wait to remind you about this tomorrow morning.”

He got her back to his room and she fell onto his bed with no prompting. Jim sighed and grabbed a pillow to take with him to the couch.

In the morning, Cass awoke with a start, her head throbbing. Her mouth felt like it was full of cotton. She sat up too quickly and instantly felt like she was going to hurl. A wastebasket appeared before her line of vision. She grabbed it and puked, then looked up to see who had provided her with the needed receptacle.

“Jim?”

“Morning, sunshine. Bet you’re feeling pretty shitty.”

Cass grabbed her forehead with both hands. “Please, don’t shout,” she muttered.

“I’m not.”

“Okay, but can you, like, whisper? And make the room stop spinning?”

“You had yourself a hell of a night,” he replied, sitting down next to her on the bed.

“Oof, careful. You may not want to be that close,” she answered, grabbing the waste bin again.

After she was finished, she looked around. “How did I get here? Did you and I….?”

“No,” Jim replied.

“Oh thank gods,” Cass sighed in relief.

“Hey, I’m not the worst you could do,” Jim shot back.

“No, it’s not that. I just…you’re like my brother.”

“Yeah, I know,” he acknowledged. “You kissed me last night and it was a total Luke and Leia moment.”

She visibly cringed and then looked at him in confusion. “Who are Luke and Leia?”

“You know – _Star Wars_? Really popular set of movies from the 20 th century?” Jim gave up as Cass’s expression remained blank. “Nevermind. It was weird, is what I’m saying.”

Cass sat back and covered her eyes with her hands. “Fuckin’ A, what did I do last night?”

“Honestly?” Jim asked.

She peeked out at him between her hands and slowly nodded.

“I think you were trying to sleep with Bones.” Well, that wasn’t totally accurate. He KNEW she’d been trying to sleep with Bones. She’d made that perfectly clear.

She groaned and slid over onto her side. “Did you stop me?”

“Yep.”

“Jim, you are the very best. I owe you big time.”

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve kept me from making a few mistakes of my own so we’ll call it even.” He smiled at her and she gave a watered-down grin back.

“Seriously, though. Why were you trying to sleep with Bones?”

She winced. “I was really pissed at Sabine.” She sat up again. “I still am, but I’m not gonna sleep with Bones, I promise. Just thinking about it makes me want to crawl out of my skin and hide.”

“Why are you so mad at Sabine?” Jim asked, his curiosity piqued. He knew Cass loved to complain about how much the Resurrection crew drove her nuts but this kind of anger was something he’d never seen before.

Cass groaned again. “Ugh. She and Aubrey are together – I just found out.”

Jim looked at her. “Really? Those two? That’s an odd pair.”

“Right? I mean, it’s a disaster. Sabine needs someone who will commit to her. Aubrey can’t commit to what she wants for dinner without flaking out. Even if she could commit, you know the minute Bones gets his memories back, Sabs will drop everything to be with him. And I’m not saying Sabs should just sit there and be single, waiting for Bones, because who knows if he’ll ever remember anything? But she could choose someone a little less volatile and fragile than Aubrey.”

Jim snorted. “Aubrey doesn’t exactly strike me as the fragile type.”

Cass shot him a look. “Trust me. You don’t know her like I do. She puts on a good show but underneath it all, she’s a hot mess.”

“Sounds like another Pike girl I know,” Jim responded. Cass gave him an eye roll.

“Look, I’m stable and calm compared to her.”

Jim decided not to argue any further about which Pike sister was the most messed-up. Instead, he chose another tack. “Well, okay, so they’re dating. Maybe it’ll just fizzle out on its own?”

“I wish! Guess how long they’ve been dating? Three years! Three fucking years they hid it from me because they know! Deep down, both of them know what they’re doing is wrong. Otherwise, why hide it from your best friend? Or your sister?”

Jim didn’t have a good answer. At least not one Cass would want to hear. He had to admit it was weird that the couple hadn’t mentioned anything to Cass sooner. But maybe they’d anticipated the exact reaction she gave them. And speaking of that reaction…

“So, in your anger with Sabs and Aubrey, you decided to get drunk and sleep with Bones? To get back at them? That’s….that’s a genuinely shitty idea, Cass.”

“I know,” she wailed. “I’m so embarrassed and angry at myself and pissed off at Sabs and Aubrey and everything is awful.” She looked at him with tears in her eyes. “If you hadn’t intervened last night, who knows what would have happened? I can’t believe I almost did that.”

Jim put his arm around her. “Well, if it makes you feel better, you were both so drunk, you guys probably woulda passed out before anything happened.”

“I’m fucking mortified,” she sighed. “How am I ever gonna look Sabs and Bones in the face again?”

“Well, Bones probably won’t remember much,” Jim mused. “As for Sabs, that’s a different story. You gotta figure that one out for yourself. But I’m here for you, okay? Next time you need to rage, come find me. We can create a better way for you to get your emotions out.”

Cass rested her head on his chest. “You’re a keeper, Jim. I’m not sure I deserve a friend like you.”

“Don’t be stupid,” he replied, resting his head on top of hers. “You’re a pretty great friend too. Don’t beat yourself up too much.”

* * *

 

Commodore Nighy leaned over the sink, blood dripping in a steady stream from both her nose and ears. Her head was pounding and her vision blurred. The Chinese woman – Jinjing Lee – had gotten away. Somehow, the tool Khan had given them was ineffective on her. But that wasn’t the sole reason Nighy was hunched over in pain.

“ _There is a constant conflict between the subconscious and conscious which is only sometimes vaguely recognized as a struggle between instinct or intuition, and the reasoning power of the mind_.” F.M. Alexander

That quote, one she’d read years ago on an introductory psychology PADD, had clung to her these last few years, infesting her mind like a song that one couldn’t shake from their thoughts.

She had resisted the urge to do what she was contemplating for months now but the more she fought it, the stronger it became. She needed to find him. Needed him to either kill her or give her a new set of orders. At the rate she was going, she wouldn’t make it much longer with or without his guidance. Death would be merciful if that was what he deemed her reward.

Mind control via telepathy was never meant to be a long-term proposition. Even when Khan had taken over Commodore Nighy’s mind, he had not anticipated that she would still be under his command years later. Not that he would have cared, had he been conscious. Commodore Nighy’s mind had fractured, turned on itself, and she was finding even routine tasks to be insurmountable obstacles anymore. Her subconscious rebelled at every turn, revolted to see her conscious self taking such horrific actions and delegating the same to her assembled team.

For every failure she and her team had experienced, her subconscious cheered. For their successes, it wept and raged. She was a shadow of what she had once been, all compassion relegated to the corners while she strove, sometimes in vain, to accomplish the goal Khan had given her. But she didn’t need a doctor to read the writing on the wall. She was dying, slowly but surely. And the only thing she wanted was to find the man who had put her in this state so that he could assume the mantle he’d given her… or, in the desires of her subconscious, so that she could have the satisfaction of watching him die before she finally succumbed to that sweet silence herself.


	80. Chapter 80

"You promised me you would be faithful."

Sabine's voice, frosty with anger and betrayal, rang out in the darkened apartment and Aubrey jumped at it, banging her head against a shelf she hadn't realized she was so close to. She'd been intent on sneaking in without noise and surprising Sabine in bed but apparently the surprise wasn't meant to be.

"Ow, dammit. What the fuck, babe? Why are you sitting here in darkness?" Aubrey replied. "Computer, lights on."

The lights came up and Aubrey looked to the kitchen table where Sabine sat in stony silence. Aubrey sighed.

"May I?" she asked, nodding to the chair across from Sabine. The other woman nodded, her face still hard. Aubrey sat down.

"I promised you I'd try," Aubrey said, trying to placate the other woman while not admitting any wrong-doing.

"Bullshit," Sabine spat out. "You promised me you would not sleep with others. Do you want to see my memory of the conversation?" Sabine knew what had been said – she had reviewed the night Aubrey had promised to be exclusive with her numerous times in her mind. She knew Aubrey hadn't kept her promise.

"I don't need to see your memory," Aubrey replied, irritated that Sabine was harping on this. "I told you I would be faithful and I tried. I've tried my hardest. But yeah, sometimes I don't succeed. It doesn't mean I don't care about you. Just because you have the monogamy gene doesn't mean the rest of us do, you know."

If they wanted to be completely honest, Aubrey didn't understand how Sabine managed to be satisfied with just her. Hell, if she came home one of these days and found Sabine in bed with someone else, she'd be delighted. The more, the merrier, as far as Aubrey was concerned. But she knew, from her many failed attempts to get Sabine to agree to a threesome, that orgies just weren't in the cards. And given how angry Sabine seemed right now, maybe orgies weren't the only thing off the table now.

"You could have told me about the times you failed," Sabine countered.

"Why? Because you'd somehow be less angry if I told you?"

"Yes, I would. If you told me, I would know you were trying to keep your promises to me."

"Oh come on, Sabine. You would not. Don't act like a martyr."

"Do not tell me how I should or should not act. You are not me. I do not know who you are at this point."

Aubrey rolled her eyes. "Is this how it's gonna be? You're being a total drama queen right now." On the outside, Aubrey was playing it cool – inside she felt nothing but turbulence. Was the relationship over? A voice inside her head told her if she kept antagonizing her girlfriend, it would be over but somehow, she couldn't bring herself to just apologize. The Pike girls had never been the best about owning up to their mistakes.

"Drama queen, mmm? I suppose you will now tell me I care about you too much – that this whole thing has been just a game for you?"

"If you have to ask what this is between us, then maybe it isn't as serious as you hoped," Aubrey snapped. "I've told you before, I don't want to bond. You said you were fine with that but maybe I'm not the only one who's been hiding things, huh? How did you find out anyway? Are you in my head?"

Aubrey's attitude and her questions angered Sabine even more.

"I am not in your head," she spat out. "Unlike you, when I make a promise, I keep it." Sabine had, on numerous occasions, assured Aubrey she would never enter her mind uninvited. But Aubrey knew she had only Sabine's word to rely on – Sabine was powerful enough to enter Aubrey's mind without her ever realizing it.

"You do not believe me," Sabine stated incredulously. "Fine, you want to know? This is how I found out." Sabine grabbed the PADD next to her and shoved it across the table to Aubrey.

Aubrey looked at the screen. On it was a holo of her entering a hotel room with an Andorian. She furrowed her brows. That rendezvous had been a few months ago. She swiped the screen and was greeted by another image, this time of her and a Klingon woman. She'd always had a weakness for Klingons. She swiped again and again. Holo after holo of her with other partners.

"Where did you get these?" she demanded. Sabine remained silent. She would never tell Aubrey they'd been sent by Theo and Oliver. Sabine had downplayed the communications between Resurrection crew members to both Cass and Aubrey, knowing the sisters wouldn't approve of it. And for the most part, the crew kept quiet. But this was the kind of thing they felt obligated to communicate. Theo and Oliver had been heartbroken to share what they'd discovered with Sabine but they sincerely believed she needed to know what her girlfriend was doing when she was out on business. They'd been so excited when Sabine had told them about Aubrey; while sexuality was not a big deal in the 23rd century, it had been in their time and Theo and Oliver were delighted Sabine had found someone of her own gender to make her happy. That Aubrey had turned out to be cheating on Sabine after promising fidelity angered the two men almost as much as it angered Sabine.

Aubrey interpreted Sabine's silence differently. "Cass send these to you? Is that it?"

"They are not from Cass."

"Bullshit. I'm sure she's delighted to ruin things between us."

"Cass is not the one who sent these and she has not ruined anything between you and me! You did that all on your own. Repeatedly, I might add."

Aubrey flinched. When all the images were in one place, it seemed so much worse than it had when the liaisons were happening. She really had tried to be faithful. But it was so hard with so many potential partners out there in the galaxy. She had thought she could get away with it – had even considered herself a good girlfriend given the number of propositions she routinely refused. But now, she didn't feel like a good partner at all. And she resented Cass for hiring someone to follow her and then using those pictures to destroy everything she and Sabine had shared. She resented Sabine for making her feel guilty – for proving to her what a failure she was a girlfriend.

"You should know, while you sit there so sanctimonious, that Cass has been fucking your ex-boyfriend for the past few years. So, you know, go ahead and hate me for what I've done but just be aware that your supposed friend and protector is no better."

Aubrey was pretty sure Cass hadn't slept with Bones. Sure, her younger sister had thought about it. But she'd never actually acted on it, as far as Aubrey knew. But in the moment, with her back against the wall, Aubrey didn't care about throwing Cass under the bus.

Sabine stared at Aubrey. Every part of her wanted to deny what Aubrey had just said. She hoped Aubrey was just being cruel. Cass would surely never sleep with Leo…would she?

"Get out," she hissed at Aubrey. "Get out and do not come back."

* * *

Cass looked down at her PADD. On the screen was a solitary message:

_We need to talk._

She sighed. Of course Sabine would choose now, while Cass was in the middle of hostile territory, to have a chat.

It had been several months since Cass had stormed out of Sabine and Aubrey's apartment on Yorktown. She hadn't spoken to either woman since. Sabine had reached out to her once via PADD to apologize for not telling her sooner about Aubrey. Aubrey had, in her typical fashion, remained silent. Cass wasn't angry at them anymore. She still believed the whole relationship thing was a huge mistake on both their parts but if they'd made it through more than three years together…well, that had to mean something. Cass knew Aubrey had never been in a long-term relationship before. She wondered how her sister was handling it. And, truth be told, she missed interacting with both of them. After finding an asteroid to hide behind, Cass stopped her cruiser and reached out to Sabine. The other woman immediately answered.

_Is it true?_

Um, hi. How are you? How's the weather? These are common ways of greeting your friends.

_I am not in a mood for jokes. Is it true about you and Leo?_

Cass's heart sank. Had Sabine somehow heard about what happened on Risa? She had never mentioned it to Bones and he'd treated her like he always had every time she'd seen him since. He flirted with her but never pushed the boundaries, accepting that she didn't want a one-night stand. But Cass could feel Sabine's hurt and anger through the connection.

Sabs….

_It is true! Why? Why would you do this to me? To him?_

Wait. I didn't say I slept with Bones. I haven't.

_Then why are you radiating guilt?_

Cass sighed. She really didn't want to have this conversation right now.

It's complicated. This isn't a great time to talk about this. Can we meet? I have a situation I'm kinda stuck in here but if you give me a week, I can be there.

_I do not want to wait. Tell me what is going on. Aubrey said you have been sleeping with Leo for the past several years._

Well, that's a fucking lie. Is she there? Lemme talk to her, that cu–

_She is not here. I do not know where she is and I do not care._

Oh for fuck's sake. What happened?

_Why should I tell you? You will not tell me about Leo and why you feel guilty, so why would I share anything with you about Aubrey?_

Cass replied with a vehemence that surprised even herself.

Because I'm her goddamned sister. Is she okay?

_I have no idea. I have not seen her for three weeks. And I do not want to see her anytime soon._

Cass bit her tongue to keep from saying "I told you so" to Sabine. At the same time, her stress levels began to rise. Where was Aubrey now? Would she run away again?

So I take it you two are not doing well.

_There is no "we two." It is over. And now I know you have been hiding something about Leo from me. I wish I had never met you or your sister._

Now, hold on a second. I get that you're mad, but that's a little extreme, don't you think? You're not in a lab somewhere, being cloned, or under the power of an Augment because of me. As for Aubrey, I'm sorry. I can tell she hurt you, but she was a big part of making sure you were safe too.

_You were right about dating her – I hope you enjoy it._

You know I don't. I never want to see you hurting. And I thought this time would be different. Aubrey's never committed to someone before.

_Mmm, she did not commit to me so her streak remains unblemished. Now tell me what you are trying to keep from me about Leo._

Fine. Goddammit. I got drunk after you and Aubrey told me you two had been shacking up for three years behind my back and I tried to sleep with Bones. But Jim stepped in and made sure we didn't do anything stupid.

_I cannot believe you would run to Leo just because you were mad at us. What kind of a friend does that?_

What kind of friend sleeps with my sister and doesn't say anything for three fucking years? Jesus, Sabine. You can be pissed at me but don't act like you're totally innocent here.

_Am I supposed to apologize because I cared about your sister and she cheated on me? That is now my fault?_

Don't be obtuse, numbnuts. You should apologize for not telling me sooner.

_I do not owe you an apology. I was good to Aubrey. I did not mistreat her. You have been bossing me and everyone else around for years. And now you use Leo as a form of revenge? I owe you nothing at this point. None of us do._

Come the fuck on. Who gave you guys the information about what what Section 31 was planning? Who arranged for you and all your friends to find new identities across the galaxy? Like I said, I understand you're mad, but don't act like I haven't done anything for you.

_If I could go back, I would refuse your help. I would walk – run – away from you._

Now Cass felt only anger radiating through the connection. She didn't want to fight Sabine but her patience was reaching its limits.

I think I should let you go for now. Can we please meet and talk about this later?

_No. Do not contact me again. I will be fine on my own from here on out._

Sabs, you're angry. Don't make bad decisions right now. Give it time.

_Fuck you. I do not want your advice._

Sabine closed the connection but Cass felt the aftershocks of her rage for a minute or two longer. She sat there feeling remorse, and an odd sense of relief. It was nice not having to hide the Risa incident from Sabine. She decided she's visit the other telepath after this assignment was over and clear the air. They'd sort things out and then hopefully, she'd regroup with Aubrey.

* * *

"Cass, I'm so tired," Jim complained as he sat across from his friend in the captain's ready room. Cass poured him more Saurian brandy to sip on.

"Like physically? 'Cause you look pretty good," she asked, taking a sip of her own drink.

"Not so much physically. I'm just mentally worn out by the same routine crap, day-in and day-out."

"You're the only person I know who would complain that the shit you get into is same-old, same-old," Cass cracked.

"I know. I feel bad. I wanted this mission so much," Jim replied. "But it just feels like whatever adventure we encounter, the same results occur and then we're on to the next thing. There's no overall progression. Space is just infinite and we're not even scratching the surface."

"So let me see if I understand – you thought you'd come out here on this five-year adventure and change the galaxy only to discover the galaxy is huge. It's gonna take more than one ship to change the course of the universe, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Maybe this isn't what I wanted after all."

Cass looked at her friend in surprise. "What would you do if not this?"

Jim silently sized Cass up, debating if he should tell her his idea. Why not? Who was Cass going to tell anyway?

"I put in an application for a vice admiral position at Yorktown," Jim admitted.

"What? You're kidding," Cass responded. "Jim, you'd hate being a vice admiral on a starbase – think of all the paperwork."

"I know," he sighed. "But I'm just not happy right now."

"You do realize that most people hate their jobs from time to time, right?" Cass was gentle in her critique.

"Yeah, I know. This feels like more than just a little frustration with the job. I think I'm burned out."

"Then go on shore leave. Don't give up what you've worked so hard to accomplish. Especially just to sit behind a desk all day. That's not you." Cass gave her friend an affectionate look as she spoke. She could not think of a worse person for the vice admiral position than Jim Kirk.

"Are you sure? Who's to say what I am?" He looked back at her with an intensity in his bright blue eyes and Cass realized this was more than a minor crisis of confidence.

"Jeez, Jim. You're a little young for a midlife crisis. Look, why don't you think this over a little more?"

"The application's submitted," he replied. "It's a waiting game at this point."

"Well, compared to that, the news I have for you doesn't seem so big now," she grumbled.

"What news?" Jim was curious. Cass smiled in spite of herself. Jim would be like a cat with a piece of yarn – he'd bat at her till she told him whatever news she had.

"Remember when you wanted Sabine's location to contact her?"

"Yeah…you're finally willing to share?"

"I am. And you're gonna love this. She's on Yorktown. You can look her up when you all dock there in a couple of weeks. If you end up taking that stupid job, you'll already have a friend at the base." Cass grabbed her PADD and sent Jim Sabine's fake name and the hospital she was working at.

"That's awesome. Thank you! You wanna come with me to see her?" Jim replied, his mind racing with what he would say to the other telepath when he saw her again.

"I'll let you two reconnect on your own. I've got a project I need to finish up and won't be able to be there. But visit her, okay? She needs all the friends she can get right now," Cass said thoughtfully, omitting any mention of the heated conversation she'd had with the other telepath. She had enough ahead of her in the next few days. While the Enterprise had one more mission on Teenax to complete before heading to Yorktown, Cass would be on her way there after she finished catching up with Jim. If things went well, Jim would never need to know about the dust-up she'd had with Sabine a week ago. Cass crossed her fingers that Sabine would be ready to hear her out.

* * *

Being part-owner of a company that engaged in all manner of shady dealings had its benefits. Cass had hacked the Yorktown General schedule and knew Sabine would be off. As she stood at Sabine's door and pushed the chimes, she shifted nervously from one foot to the other.

Sabine knew who it was before she opened the door – how could she not? They were telepaths, radiating familiar signals to one another. That was part of the reason she answered at all – because otherwise, Cass would know she was there and refusing to come to the door. And Sabine was not going to be petty. She'd give Cass a chance to explain. She just didn't have a lot of hope that the explanation would make anything better.

Since their argument, Sabine had thought a lot about the decisions she'd made. She thought about Cass and Aubrey – how they'd helped her and how they'd hurt her. She wanted to be calm and rational; to handle this like a proper adult would. Unfortunately, she couldn't stop her emotions from barging in and trashing any semblance of reason. She wanted her life at the Academy back – wanted to rewind to the days after she and Leo had finally slept together. She didn't know how, but surely there had to have been a better choice than the one she made. Surely, she could have found a way to leave Leo's mind alone. That decision to erase and replace his memories, a decision Cass helped create and encouraged her to see through, felt like the source of much of her current turmoil.

She took a deep breath and ordered the door to open.

"Hey. I was starting to wonder if you were going to let me in," Cass said, trying to take a light tone and worrying that she sounded too cavalier.

"What are you doing here?" Sabine tried to sound unemotional and worried she came across as too frigid.

"What do you think, Sabs? I'm here to talk things out."

Sabine moved so that Cass could enter the apartment and she held her hand out, indicating to Cass to move into the living room. Both women took a seat – Cass on the couch and Sabine across from her in an armchair. It reminded Cass of the last time she'd been there – when she'd stormed out after Aubrey and Sabine had told her they were dating. Maybe she should have been more understanding. Would it have changed things? Would they still be together now? Probably not. Aubrey was gonna Aubrey. But maybe the woman across from her wouldn't feel so hostile towards her.

"Look, I know you're mad. I know Aubrey and I have hurt you in our own ways. And I am sincerely sorry about that. I want to make this right," Cass said, hoping to defuse the tension she could feel radiating from Sabine.

"I want you to tell me the truth. I want to know exactly what is going on between you and Leo."

Inside, Cass staved off a rising irritation. Of course she'd known Sabine would want to discuss Bones but she'd hoped Sabs would at least acknowledge how worried she was for her sister. That the other telepath couldn't be bothered with anything but a guy she'd dated for a few months over four years ago was annoying. Cass was oversimplifying what Bones and Sabine had meant to each other and she knew it but she was irritated all the same. She grit her teeth and answered.

"What do you want to know? We never slept together. I almost gave myself alcohol poisoning trying to get drunk enough to go through with it but it never happened."

"Thanks to Jim, yes?"

"Sure. Right. Although I think an argument could be made that even if Jim hadn't intervened, neither Bones nor I were in any state to have relations. At most, we would have passed out together."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? I have not seen him for years now. You get to see him all the time. Should I be grateful for your restraint?" Sabine's eyes flashed and Cass felt her pain. She unsuccessfully attempted to stifle another wave of aggravation.

"How long ago did you and Aubrey break up again?" she asked.

"It has been a month now," Sabine said tightly.

"A month. So after three years of living with my sister, you've been single for a month and all you want to talk about right now is Bones."

"First, we did not live together for three years. You should know that, given how familiar you are with the obligations of your line of work. Aubrey was gone for months at a time. We did not start sharing this apartment until a year into the relationship and even then, she would be gone six months out of the year."

"Fine. But you two still maintained communication during all those months apart, right? You're both telepaths, after all." Cass was tired of being on the defensive. She'd come in ready to offer an olive branch and Sabine had immediately been ready to pounce on her.

"What point are you trying to make?" Sabine asked with narrowed eyes.

"Just that maybe you never really cared that much for my sister. Maybe she was something to occupy your time while you waited for Bones to remember you. And frankly? That sucks. Aubrey's got a shit ton of flaws – I'll be the first to admit it. But she didn't deserve for you to write her off as a good time while you were waiting for a better time."

"I did not treat her like that! I cared deeply for your sister!"

"Did you? When was the last time you shared dreams with her? Did you two ever share a full meld?"

"That is unfair. You know I could not control what happened with Leo. And you would not ask me if I melded with a non-telepath." Sabine was indignant.

"Yeah, but Aubrey was a telepath. It should have been easy for the two of you to form a connection…if you really wanted it."

"I did want it! She was the one who made me promise not to enter her mind without her permission and she only ever let me see small parts of it. She did not want to meld."

Cass knew Sabine was telling the truth. Aubrey wouldn't even let her meld. Aubrey was afraid of letting other people see everything inside her head, with good reason – there was some dark shit in there. Cass knew she was being unfair to Sabine. Still, she was angry. She could pick on Aubrey all day but she'd be damned if she'd let someone else mistreat her sister and she felt like Sabine was being unfair to Aubrey by brushing her off so quickly.

"So she wouldn't let you in. Okay. And because of that, it's a month later and you're over her, huh?" Cass looked around the room, seeing boxes of Aubrey's stuff. "You just packed up all her stuff, no big deal? Did you do that the day after she left? The hour?"

"Stop it," Sabine cried out. "You want me to treat Aubrey like she was the love of my life. She was not but that does not diminish what I felt for her. I waited for her to come back. For two weeks. And when I heard nothing, I packed everything up. I do not even know where to send it. She left and has been silent since."

"She left. Did she make that choice?"

"What do you mean?" Sabine asked warily.

"Did she say, 'I'm leaving' or did you ask her to leave? Did you tell her to leave? Just how did that happen?"

Sabine's eyes filled with tears but she held them back. "I told her to get out. I was angry. She had just told me you were sleeping with Leo. I did not know if she was lying or not. She refused to apologize. I had all these holos Theo and Oliver had sent me of her with other beings – I knew she had been unfaithful after she promised to not sleep around. She could have just said she was sorry but she was defensive, treating me like I was wrong for being hurt. So I told her to get out and I did not hear anything from her after she walked out that door."

"So Theo and Oliver spied on her for you? Glad to hear you guys are all still breaking the rules."

"Fuck your rules. You are not our mom," Sabine spat, her sadness turning into anger. "They did not spy on her for me. They saw her out at a bar somewhere and were going to approach her. Then she started making out with some Klingon woman. They were surprised and they decided to follow her without saying a word to me. It was not until they had collected a number of different holos of her with various partners that they contacted me. They took no joy in sharing what they had found."

Cass snorted. "I'll bet they didn't." Cass had liked Theo and Oliver well enough at the Academy but they had become her least favorites of the Resurrection crew afterwards. They were competitors against her and Aubrey. Several times, the Pike sisters had shown up to a heist only to find Theo and Oliver had beat them to the punch. Cass was jealous of how good the two men were at all the things she was supposed to excel at – spying, stealing, selling wares to the highest bidders. They were always creeping. Not that Cass could in any way defend Aubrey's actions. But she didn't like the idea of Theo and Oliver turning their skills against her sister.

"Just because you do not like them does not mean what they found was not true." Sabine was tired of Cass calling all the shots. She was tired of being interrogated. "Tell me about you and Leo. Stop avoiding the subject by trying to throw shit at me," she said coolly.

"What do you want to know, Sabs? You wanna hear about how much he flirts with me? Wanna hear about how much he despises you? Is any of that going to make you feel better?" Cass knew she was being a bitch but this conversation had taken a wrong turn early on and she was going to see it to its logical end.

Sabine remained silent for a moment. She could feel Cass's defiance. And it hurt for Cass to confirm her worst suspicions.

"He flirts with you, mmm? You never flirt back?" She stared at the half-Betazoid, observing every shift Cass made, every blink and downturned eye.

"I flirt back. But you know that already, huh? I guess you should know this too – I was attracted to him long before you two started dating. We flirted before you came along and yes, we have flirted since leaving the Academy. But I never had any intention of sleeping with him. I respected your connection to him."

"Respected? Ha! How? By batting your eyes at him every month or however often you visited the Enterprise?"

"Oh fuck off. I drove myself crazy at first trying to figure out the best way to handle things. Did I tell you he was flirting with me? Did I tell you I had been attracted to him? Did I ignore him? What was I supposed to do to be the best possible friend I could be to you? And ultimately, I decided to say nothing to you about the flirting. I told him we were never going to hook up. I defended you whenever he would put you down. I tried to be the best goddamned friend I could be to both of you. And one time – one fucking time – I got angry and almost made a really shitty mistake. One time and now you're gonna forever think I didn't do enough for you. Well, fuck you, Sabine. While I was trying to respect your feelings for Bones, you were screwing my sister behind my back. She's the only family I've got now and who the fuck knows where she's hiding, thanks to you."

"Thanks to me? Fuck you too, Cass. I did not tell her to run away and never contact anyone ever again. And stop making it sound like what Aubrey and I were doing was so scandalous and wrong. We were friends and lovers. Worse things have happened in the universe. It is not my fault your sister makes bad decisions. And thank you so very much for not fucking Leo. Truly, you are a hero among heroes."

The two women had gotten out of their seats and were facing one another with clenched fists and dark eyes.

"You know, I'd hoped to come here today and work things out with you," Cass said in a low voice, her temper barely contained. "But I think maybe you had it right the other day. Maybe we shouldn't talk anymore."

"That is the only thing you have said today that I agree with," Sabine practically hissed.

Cass left the room and, for the second time, stormed out of Sabine's apartment. Sabine stood in the living room and tried to gather her thoughts, taking deep breaths to calm down.

Both women were surprised at how angry they'd been gotten with each other. While Sabine had not held high hopes for the conversation, even she was shocked at just how much bitterness Cass had stirred up within her. Neither of them could remember a fight like that with any other friend. Of course, neither woman would consider herself the kind of person who made good friends easily. They had lived similar lives, separated as they may have been by a couple of centuries. They had been brought up to gather information, to trust no one, to deceive when needed, to fight to the death when it was called for, and to serve a higher cause than their own personal happiness. They had been trained to put themselves second to what their organisations dictated as missions and goals. It had left both women with a deep uneasiness when it came to making friends in the real world.

While Sabine had a collection of friends who had grown up with her in the same setting, Cass had gone that road alone. She had lots of casual acquaintances but before meeting the Resurrection crew, her only friend had been Aubrey – an errant sister with a criminal record who only reached out to her when she wasn't on the lamb. Cass realized, as she set her cruiser on autopilot that night and crawled into her tiny bunk in the back, just how lonely she was without Sabine and the rest of the crew, who would, of course, all side with Sabine. Aubrey was still not responding to any of her pinches so now she had no one but Jim and Bones. And the last person Cass wanted to see right now was Bones. She was pretty sure she hated him a little, through no real fault of his own. So that left Jim and she couldn't very well visit him on the Enterprise without seeing Bones. She was alone. It was fine. She'd been alone before. She could do it again. You had to be able to rely on yourself because what no one ever wanted to admit was this: no matter how happy you were in life – no matter how many friends, how perfect your lover might be – there would come times when only you could fix your problems. So she might as well get back to true self-reliance. She could do this. She could be alone and still be happy. She needed to focus on the little thing that brought her joy. Things besides the bottom of a bottle of alcohol. And she needed to ignore the demons in her head telling her she was a failure.

As she tossed and turned in her bed, the apartment otherwise hushed, Sabine thought about the things Cass had said. She'd been a fool for so long, holding out some kind of hope that underneath it all, Leo would somehow still care about her and would pull through the false memories. Clearly, he was not going to remember the truth any time soon. And maybe she had been unfair to Aubrey, to herself even, by starting a relationship she'd never intended to stay in permanently. But she had never meant to hurt Aubrey or Cass and she resented Cass's accusations. She resented that Cass got to live her life without the same consequences Sabine had faced. Cass didn't have to fill other peoples' minds with lies about herself – lies that made them hate her. Meanwhile, she expected Sabine to magically forgive Aubrey, to magically move on from Leo but Sabine didn't want to do the former yet and didn't know how to do the latter. She didn't know what to do about Cass either. She missed the other woman already but when she thought about the things Cass had said to her, she felt angry and hurt all over again. She promised herself she wouldn't tell the rest of the crew about the fight – not even Adjoa. It was between her and Cass; no one else needed to be involved. She tortured herself with visions of Cass and Leo getting together in the near future and talking to each other about what a horrible person she was. And maybe the imaginary versions of Cass and Leo that threw venom around in her head were right. Maybe she was a horrible person. Maybe she still needed to pay for all the wrongs she'd committed along the way.


	81. Chapter 81

Sender: Jinjing Lee

Recipients: Seiji Nakamura, Jayesh Sood, John Miller, Anthony Tremblay, Tatyana Vasiliev, Adjoa Mbadinuju, Maria Rodrìguez, Mía Gonzalez, Sabine Latour, Theodore Davies, Oliver Williams

_Hi everyone. I know Cass told us not to contact one another but I think this is an exception to that rule. Almost a week ago, a man tried to attack me. It was, as far as I know, very similar to attacks several of you have faced. But the thing he tried to use on me – the instrument that those of you who have gone through this describe as emitting a high-pitched noise which cut through you? It did not work on me. I felt something metal against the back of my right ear…but I heard no sound. My would-be attacker seemed as surprised as I was when I turned to face him. He tried again to use the device on me – I did not get a great look at it but I can tell you it is shaped like a baton…you know, the things people use in relay races? Do those even exist anymore?_

_I did see my attacker. He was either human or Betazoid. He had dark hair and dark eyes. He was not someone I have seen before. We fought briefly until he suddenly beamed off my ship. I reported the incident to my captain but there was nothing in the ship logs about someone coming onto the ship. I believe he used a transwarp beaming device, only much smaller than any portable model I have seen yet._

_As to why the device he had did not work on me, I can only speculate. I suspect the device either malfunctioned, or I have enhanced abilities when it comes to dealing with noises/radiation/mind control. My parents never told me definitively that I was augmented but I believe this incident may prove there is more to my unusually good hearing than meets the eye. That is just my theory._

_I wanted you all to know about this – for those who have not been attacked yet, stay vigilant. For those who have, my deepest regrets. I did try to contact both Cass and Aubrey but never heard back from Aubrey and Cass seemed a little preoccupied when I spoke to her. It seemed wise to contact you all on my own and make sure you knew what was happening._

_Miss you all!_

Jinjing's encrypted PADD message to the group set off a small flurry of replies but everyone was mindful of the fact that they needed to lay low, even those who had rejoined Starfleet. No one had any more answers than what had already been presented – they all agreed this was either the work of Section 31, or an offshoot of the now-crippled organisation. What had been clear after the third or fourth attack was still clear now – someone or some group was hunting them all down systematically and that device was key to their success.

* * *

"What do you think we should do?" the agent asked his partner, worry etched across his face.

"I think we have to tell her," the other agent responded, no more thrilled about what he was saying than his friend.

"But what if we don't?"

"And she finds out from someone else?"

"What if she never finds out?" the agent posited. "What if we destroy this report and never tell anyone else about its contents?"

"Do you think we could really get away with it?" his partner asked, the slightest ray of hope surfacing on his face.

"There's one way to find out. No one else knows about this, right?"

"Right. Just you and me."

"And if I say nothing and you say nothing, no one ever needs to know."

The two men stared at one another. They would be dependent on one another keeping this secret until they were no longer on this assignment. And maybe even longer. But it was worth it. Commodore Nighy didn't need to know that the memories they had recovered from some of the Resurrection crew did not match the memories in the report Admiral Marcus had received all those years ago from the agents that had read Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy. She didn't need to know that there was an unexplained discrepancy. Somehow, multiple crew member memories made it seem apparent that the telepath and the doctor had dated past the date given in the doctor's reading. It was a strange anomaly and without the telepath's memories, which were still blocked, they had no way of confirming what had ended the relationship. So why tell Commodore Nighy about something that would just open more questions for the team?

The agents weren't stupid. If this had been any other project, run by anyone else, they would've come forward with the data because it indicated an error that needed addressing. But this project had felt odd from the beginning and the longer it went, the more off-the-rails it seemed to veer. Most of the agents assigned to the project wanted off. They didn't like what they were doing. And no one was too inclined to throw any additional wrenches into the works.

Because of that, Commodore Nighy never received word about the inconsistencies in the recovered memories of the Resurrection crew versus what Admiral Marcus's agents had gathered right after the Nero incident.


	82. Chapter 82

Sabine, like other Starfleet personnel on the Yorktown base, received a weekly list of Starfleet ships that would be docking there, with details on crew capacity and length of stay. While she'd always known in the back of her mind that it was a possibility, she still felt her heart leap into her throat as she stared at her PADD. The Enterprise would be at Yorktown next week. They were only scheduled to be there for a week so the chances that Leo would show up at the hospital to take on shifts were slim. Still, she wondered if she should take vacation time to avoid being seen and recognized. These days, she hid her natural curls under a wig – a straight, black bob which emphasized her darker skin color. She'd also dyed her irises brown and covered her freckles with make-up every morning. But she was certain people who had known her well back at the Academy – people like Leo – would recognize her. Sabine decided she'd ask M'Benga his advice the next day.

"I'm sure we could get your shifts covered but what are you gonna do with yourself for a week? And don't tell me you'll take a trip somewhere because you and I both know you won't."

Sabine opened then closed her mouth. He was right, of course. She avoided traveling to other worlds – she didn't want to be recognized and she didn't feel safe. The attack on X0-19 had remained with her in small but pernicious ways. But she also wasn't sure she was ready to see people who had known her back at the Academy. People who now hated her.

"What's the worst that happens? He sees you? Ignores you? You're ready for that, right?"

"Maybe?" she replied. Truth was, she didn't know that she'd ever be ready to face Leo. And now that she knew about Cass and the flirting, etc.…well, she wasn't looking forward to seeing either of them anytime soon.

"Why don't you keep your schedule and if something happens, like a certain doctor from a certain starship shows up, we make a decision then?"

"I suppose we could do that," she said dubiously.

"Come on. You're stronger than this," Geoff goaded her.

"Okay, okay," she grumbled.

A week later, as she was scrubbing clean from a successful surgery, one of the nurses came by and told her she had a visitor down in the lobby. Believing it to be her dinner date, a friend who worked in the Starfleet library across the street, Sabine thought nothing of it. She dried her hands and made her way down to the lobby. The person standing at the counter caused her to stop dead in her tracks. Before she could make a quick retreat, his baby blue eyes fell on her and a grin lit up his face. He made his way over to her.

"Doctor Sinclair," he greeted her with a sly grin, giving her a hug. She hugged him back gingerly. He pulled away after a moment, leaving his hands on her arms and looking at her with approval.

"Jim," she replied, completely unsure of how to handle his sudden appearance. When she had worried about someone from the Enterprise showing up, it hadn't been Jim and she hadn't anticipated that he'd seek her out, knowing her current fake identity. Moreover, he seemed delighted to see her which was definitely not what she had expected. He saw the confusion in her eyes.

"Cass told me to look you up while I was here," he casually said, hoping to alleviate some of the incertitude.

"Cass?" A cloud passed over her face momentarily and Jim noticed but tucked it away for future conversation. He moved his hands down her arms until her bare hands were in his. He gave her a slight nod and she understood what he wanted.

I was not expecting you.

_I know. Hope you don't mind that I dropped by like this._

They continued their vocal conversation.

"It is wonderful to see you again! Sadly, I am meeting a friend for dinner in a few minutes or I would invite you to join me."

"Don't worry about it. I should have given you a heads-up. How about a raincheck for some time later this week?"

They continued with small talk as the more important conversation in their minds progressed.

_I remember, Sabs. All of it._

How?

_Khan's blood. It did something to my memories. After the transfusion, I could remember the real ones and the fake ones._

Did you find a way to eliminate the false recollections?

_Yeah. Cass did it. And she showed Spock how to._

Cass knew?

Another dark look in Sabine's eyes.

_Yeah. I wanted to contact you, to thank you for everything – protecting me and Bones, sending him that report he used to synthesize Khan's blood – but she told me to wait because you guys weren't safe yet. She said you got attacked._

I did. On Planet X0-19.

_You're okay now?_

Mmm, I think so.

_I'm so glad to see you again. I've missed you._

You too, Jim. I am so happy you are okay.

At that moment, Jim's communicator pinged. He looked at it and then back at Sabine.

"Sadly, it looks like I've got to take off. Can I comm you later this week to meet up?"

"Yes. I would love that," she said sincerely. She quickly sent him her comm ID.

"Take care," he whispered as he hugged her again. She hugged him back tightly.

"You too," she replied, her eyes threatening to tear up. Seeing Jim again was bittersweet. She missed life at the Academy, despite Section 31's interference. And Jim, in particular, brought back memories she'd worked so hard to bury. Nonetheless, she looked forward to meeting with him later and taking more time to catch up.

* * *

Of course, by the time she awoke the next morning, Jim and the Enterprise were gone, pulled into an emergency rescue mission to the nearby nebula after an escape pod carrying a previously-unidentified alien being came into Yorktown's orbit. The alien had claimed her ship was stranded on Altamid, a planet within the unexplored nebula. Sabine was sure, knowing Jim, that he had jumped at the chance to retrieve the alien craft. She hoped he would have time upon his return to grab drinks. In the meantime, she seethed over the fact that Cass had known about Jim's successful transition to remembering the real past. It had been years since the transfusion. Years that Cass had kept all word of Jim's awareness from her. Sabine wasn't certain – couldn't be certain till Jim gave her more information – but her hunch was that Cass had deliberately kept Jim's memory rehabilitation from her in an effort to ensure that Sabine wouldn't communicate with Jim or Leo. She was so angry with Cass and as she went about her daily tasks, checking patients and monitoring medical PADDs, a new wave of fury would wash over her when she thought about all the times over the past few years Cass could have told her about Jim. Safety was the last thing Cass had cared about. Sabine's anger blinded her to the fact that she was furious with Cass for the same reason Cass was mad at her – they had both withheld information that the other woman would've preferred to know much sooner. Only later would Sabine truly comprehend how similar their complaints were.

That night, Sabine uncorked a bottle of wine by herself, alone in the apartment she had so recently shared, dodging the boxes of Aubrey's stuff that she had piled up, unsure where to send them. The demise of her relationship with Aubrey still lingered with her; while she didn't regret breaking up with Aubrey, she did miss Aubrey as a friend and she missed the routine of being in a relationship. Sabine spent a lot of time thinking about the failed relationship, especially in light of Cass's harsh words. Had she tried to distract herself with Aubrey, using the other woman as a fill-in for Leo? It hadn't felt that way at the time but maybe Cass had a point. Would she have felt more when things ended if there had been more substance to the relationship? Should she have felt more? As she navigated her way alone through the apartment and life in general on Yorktown, Sabine realized she hadn't been satisfied with numerous aspects of their partnership. The long stretches of time when Aubrey had been gone were hard, as was Aubrey's resistance to using telepathy. But none of the complaints she had stopped her from missing the feeling she'd had when they'd been together –like she wasn't alone in the universe. She wanted to feel needed, wanted to need someone, like that again. Madame Bianye had warned her about this back on Nara II. As a formerly-bonded telepath, Sabine would always crave a relationship – it was what her body and mind had come to expect. On Nara II, she'd been able to control the impulse when working as a courtesan. But she hadn't tried to fight it with Aubrey. Maybe that was why they had been able to stay together for so long without developing a deeper connection beyond friends enjoying good sex. And if they were just friends enjoying sex, had she been unfair to demand fidelity from Aubrey? She had no easy answers to the questions swirling around in her head.

In the moments Sabine wasn't thinking about Aubrey, her thoughts roamed to Cass. She had been feeling softer towards the other woman until Jim had told her about regaining his memories. Cass wanted to yell at her for keeping her relationship with Aubrey a secret but the younger Pike daughter had been keeping all sorts of things from her for years now. Why had she kept Jim's reversion to his original memories from Sabine? Why hadn't she told Sabine about her feelings for Leo sooner? Sure, Sabine and Aubrey had kept their relationship quiet so maybe she didn't have room to be too upset….except for the fact that Cass had decided to sleep with Leo, of all people, in revenge. That she hadn't succeeded didn't matter to Sabine. It was the mere idea that Cass had even considered it as an option which filled Sabine with rage. She was not yet ready to get over that betrayal, especially in light of the information Cass had withheld from her. With all the emotions drummed up by thinking about the Pike sisters, Sabine got good and drunk, turned on the music in the apartment and hosted her own private dance party, before passing out on the couch.

* * *

_He was terrified of flying but in the moment, the impulse to grab the steering controls of the alien craft was instinctual. Spock was down below him, doing God knew what but out of the window, he could see the escape pods jettisoning from the Enterprise – could see them being snatched up by the endless crafts like the one he was trying to pilot. They were taking the crew!_

…

_The landing was rough – he had no idea what he was doing. Spock had been injured – badly. He did what he could but the Vulcan needed real medical care – not a haphazard quick-fix. They looked for shelter in the crags of the planet they'd landed on. Altamid. He hated it. Hated the sticky air, hated the desert-like environs. Hated the memories of the ship being torn apart, of crew members who looked like they'd literally had the life sucked out of them. Hated how pale Spock looked and how heavily the wounded man leaned against him. Spock would never let him shoulder so much weight if he weren't so badly injured._

…

_And of course that pointy-eared pain in the ass would choose a foreboding ancient structure to sleep in for the night. No one was answering his comms. Were they the only survivors? What had happened to all the escape pods snatched up in the attack? Surely someone had made it. He'd seen the saucer break through Altamid's atmosphere. Had Jim survived? He had been so close to death so many times, had even let death touch him – was this the mission that would finally kill his best friend? God, he didn't want to think of a life without Jim in it. That stupid farm boy drove him crazy but he wasn't ready for the peace and quiet of a Jim-less existence._

…

_Spock needed to wake up. It was light now. They needed to find water, food. If he had to, he'd carry the damn hobgoblin across the planet till they found what might be left of the Enterprise. It was the only chance for survival. He needed the goddamn Vulcan to open his eyes._

_Spock!_

_Spock!_

* * *

Sabine awoke with a start, crying out. Her heart was racing and she was covered in sweat.

"Leo!"

Her call echoed through the apartment. It had been a dream. But more than a dream – just like the time she'd woken up with a sore arm after seeing Leo's arm get stuck in a torpedo. This time, it was more than a malfunctioning torpedo that could be disarmed. She'd been with him and she'd watched the Enterprise break into multiple pieces, with the saucer crashing on that planet. As she sat up and the world around her came into sharper focus, Sabine knew she had to do something. If the Enterprise had been destroyed, who did she tell? Would they believe her? She grabbed her communicator.

"Geoff?"

"Do you know what time it is?"

"I know, I am sorry to comm you so early."

"What's wrong?" He could hear the panic in his friend's voice.

"I need to tell you about my dream last night. I do not think it was a dream. Geoff, I think something horrible has happened to the Enterprise."

"Stay there. I'll come meet you. Have some coffee ready, okay?"

"Mmm-hmm."

They closed the comm and Sabine stood up. She didn't know or understand what was happening but all her intuition was telling her what she had experienced in her sleep was real.

Starfleet Command at Yorktown listened to the two doctors patiently. Even if they did accept the story shared, which only half of the command unit was inclined to do, they had no way of contacting the Enterprise once it had entered the nebula. And no one was willing to send another ship out – either the story was nothing more than a dream or the Enterprise had been attacked and they risked losing a second ship in the rescue effort. They decided to wait an additional day to see if the Enterprise returned. If it did not, they would send a small cruiser in for surveillance. Sabine and Geoff were disappointed in the decision, but neither was surprised. The story sounded crazy. But Sabine had sacrificed her anonymity to come forward and now, Starfleet knew where she was. They also knew she'd been working under a false identity. It was unclear what they would do about her but she had jeopardized her life and career on Yorktown to help the Enterprise.

Command never had to make the decision to send out another ship to Altamid because later that day, they came close to being destroyed and it was Jim Kirk, in a ship that had to be 100+ years old, who came roaring in to save the day. His crew figured out how to disarm and wipe out the swarm of ships intent on attacking Yorktown and it was Jim himself who ultimately prevented the mastermind of the Yorktown attack from succeeding even after Krall found a way into the base and very nearly used the Yorktown ventilation system to activate a bioweapon. Sabine and Geoff learned about all of this on their breaks, as they spent the better part of the day and into that night caring for those injured in the unsuccessful attack.


	83. Chapter 83

The base was atwitter over the foiled attack and Sabine enjoyed listening to her co-workers speculate over the details of the Enterprise crew's heroics, especially those of Captain James T. Kirk, who was the new object of affection for most of the single nurses. But it was an enjoyment tinged with sadness. She knew Jim; knew about all kinds of shenanigans he'd gotten into at the Academy. She kept quiet though, feeling the impact of all the years that had come and gone since their time at the Academy. Who knew what changes Jim and Leo had undergone in the past few years? Sure, Jim had stopped by before Altamid and it had felt good to see him, to know he remembered the truth, but did that really make them friends? Sabine didn't want to carry false hopes. In Leo's case, she knew any hope was foolish.

As details about what had happened on Altamid surfaced, Sabine was vindicated. What she had told Yorktown Command was accurate; the Enterprise itself had been destroyed. Of course, that didn't mean Sabine would go without some sort of reprimand for using a fake identity to practice medicine at Yorktown and on Planet X0-19 before that. Several days after the Yorktown attack, she was scheduled to meet with Command and "discuss" her options. She did not feel optimistic. Further, since the return of the Enterprise crew (those who had survived Krall's attack on the ship and a subsequent imprisonment), she had heard nothing from Jim. Which was to be expected. He was doubtless preoccupied with notifying families of the many crew members who had died (the final fatality rate was 117 crew members – the most lost in a single confrontation since the Nero incident). If that wasn't enough, he would also be busy overseeing the rebuilding of a new ship. Who knew how long the crew would stay at Yorktown? And that meant even if Sabine kept her job at the hospital, the chances she would have to deal with McCoy had increased significantly. While some optimistic and stupid part of her yearned to see him again, she also knew the man she would see would be nothing like the man she had left at the Academy. This McCoy hated her, and rightfully so. She'd left him with the worst memories she could create.

As the day of her meeting with the Yorktown Command board started, she met with Geoff to discuss how they would handle it if she was asked to step down at the hospital. She had been elected by the other physicians to serve on the hospital's board and if she was asked to leave, it made sense for Geoff to assume her position. He was the next in line, in terms of experience. The staff at Yorktown was young, both in age and in experience. Sabine supposed that was what you could expect when you asked people to move into a man-made base designed to look like a planet on the edge of known space. Her heart was heavy at the thought of having to leave Yorktown, this time to go where Starfleet would dictate. At no point did it cross her mind to contact Cass for assistance. She was done relying on the Pike sisters for anything. This was her mess to clean up.

Sabine arrived for her meeting with Command and was shown into a large conference room. At an oval table sat all of the admirals and vice admirals she had met with just days ago to discuss her visions of the Enterprise's destruction. They were an intimidating group but unlike the last time she had met with Starfleet to be reprimanded, after the death of her patient back at the Academy, Sabine was not nervous. Whatever happened, she would adapt.

"Doctor Sinclair…or, rather, Doctor Latour. Have a seat please," Commodore Paris gestured to the empty seat at the end of the table closest to where Sabine had entered. Sabine nodded and took her seat. She liked Commodore Paris – the terran woman was one of her patients and they had seen each other at several social gatherings on the base, always making time to converse. Sabine found the other woman to be incredibly gracious and, if she was being completely honest, the sound of Commodore Paris's voice was quite hypnotic. It was low and raspy and Sabine sought Commodore Paris out at any gathering the two women attended so that she could enjoy listening to the commodore's gorgeous voice. If any part of her felt guilty for the deception she had pulled in using a fake identity, it was because of beings like Commodore Paris who had been so kind to her. She hoped they would understand why she'd felt it necessary to hide who she was.

Commodore Paris continued. "We are here today to discuss the matter of Doctor Latour's falsified records."

One of the admirals in the room piped up. "This is an unusual situation as much of your real file is sealed."

Sabine nodded. It had not been clear to her, upon abandoning her spot at the Academy, what she should expect from Starfleet. Would her files be open knowledge? Apparently not.

"Because of this," the admiral continued, "only a few of us in this room were permitted to read the full file."

"Those of us who have not read it," another admiral said, "counted on the word of our colleagues in making our decision."

"Well, not just our colleagues," the first admiral said with a smile. "But we'll get to that."

Sabine's eyebrow shot up in confusion. What was going on? Commodore Paris gave her a reassuring smile.

"Your medical performance records are almost flawless – both the ones from your time at the Academy and your records here. We have merged the Sinclair file, along with the other files under your previous false identities, into your official file so you can receive the proper accreditation for the years you have served. And thank you for providing us with your other identities – it made things much easier on our end. And it was a nice display of your willingness to make things right given the deception we're here to discuss."

Sabine gave the commodore, and the table, a quick nod. She could tell, just from looking at the expressions on the faces that surrounded her, which Command officers seemed disposed to treating her with kindness versus the ones who were suspicious of her. And while she didn't take the time to tally up the numbers, it seemed as though there were more favorable faces than unfavorable. She hoped she was right.

"In light of the reasons you left the Academy, we will not ask you to return there," Commodore Paris continued. "We will consider the work you have done since leaving as sufficient to warrant graduation from the Academy's medical program."

Sabine leaned forward in her chair to address the table. "Thank you," she replied, looking at each Command member at the table. "I appreciate your willingness to allow me to continue my practice despite my falsified records. I want to assure you I will continue to do my best to uphold Starfleet standards in my work."

Sabine had cleared one hurdle – they would let her continue practicing for Starfleet. But would they make her leave Yorktown? She felt butterflies in her stomach.

"That brings us to the next part of this meeting," the Commodore said with a smile. She looked at one of the guards to her left. "Please show him in," she requested. The guard nodded and opened one of the side doors and in walked Jim, wearing his formal dress uniform. Sabine resisted the urge to gasp, schooling her features into submission. Inside, she wondered what the hell he was doing there. He grinned at her and took a seat next to the commodore.

"As we mentioned before," one of the admirals noted, "most of us are not privy to information in your file which would justify your need to leave the Academy before finishing your education there, or the need to use multiple false identities. Some of us were inclined to ask for your removal from the fleet." His tone left little doubt which side he had been on. "However, upon returning from Altamid and being informed of your discussion with Command regarding the safety of the Enterprise and her crew, Captain Kirk acted as an advocate on your behalf."

Sabine looked over at Kirk with gratitude in her eyes. He nodded at her, a smile on his face.

"It is hard to argue with the captain," the admiral added, his sour expression suggesting he had argued anyway. "He has known you since the Academy, seems to know why your sudden departure was so necessary, and fully supports the decision to keep you within the fleet." Sabine wondered how heated the argument between Jim and the grumpy admiral might have gotten.

"There is more," Commodore Paris interjected. "Captain Kirk has not only vouched for you but has a further offer."

Sabine looked towards Jim, perplexed.

"Thank you, Commodore Paris," Jim replied. "In the Alatmid incident, the Enterprise lost a number of her crew, including several doctors and a number of our nurses. Contingent on approval of the chief medical officer, I'd like you to come aboard the Enterprise, as a part of our senior medical staff." Jim stopped speaking, a twinkle in his eyes.

Sabine was floored. She had not anticipated this at all.

Commodore Paris spoke up as Sabine stared at Jim with wide eyes. "You do not need to make a decision now. I'm sure you and Captain Kirk have many details to discuss before a decision is to be made. Which means we have covered everything we intended to cover for today. When you reach a decision on the captain's offer, let us know. Do you have anything to add, Doctor Latour?"

Sabine pulled her eyes off of Jim and smiled at the rest of the table. "I have nothing to add except my sincere gratitude to each of you for the decision you have made, especially those of you who made this decision without full knowledge of my situation. As I stated before, I will continue to serve Starfleet to the best of my abilities, wherever that may be."

Commodore Paris, and several others at the table smiled warmly at her and the meeting was adjourned. Several Command members took time to talk to her as they left the room and Sabine accepted their kind words and handshakes with warmth, all the while dying to make her way over to Jim and ask him what in god's name he was doing. Slowly, Command filtered out of the room and it was just Commodore Paris, Jim, and Sabine left.

"If you do take his offer," the commodore said to Sabine with a smile, "I'll have to find a new doctor. But don't let that sway you!"

Sabine smiled at the other woman. "I will consider all factors before I make any decision."

"I must be going," Commodore Paris said to both Jim and Sabine. She turned to Sabine. "Would you care to walk with me for a moment?"

"Of course," Sabine responded. Jim stayed where he was, grabbing his PADD and looking at it so as to not give the impression he was eavesdropping.

Sabine walked with Commodore Paris who remained silent until they reached the door of the conference room.

"My dear, you would be wise to accept Captain Kirk's offer," Commodore Paris said quietly with no small amount of seriousness.

"If I do not?" Sabine asked hesitantly, also keeping her voice down so Jim would not hear them.

"There are several admirals who are not pleased with the decision we shared today. They are in the minority, but they are very vocal. If you stay, I have reason to believe they would make your life here very difficult, up to the point of exposing whatever they can find on you."

Commodore Paris let her words sink in for a moment and Sabine looked at the other woman with worried eyes.

"Would they be able to find out everything?"

"I don't know," the commodore answered. "But it's not a risk I'd want to take if I were in your shoes."

"Thank you, Commodore Paris," Sabine said. "You have given me much to think about."

"It's the least I can do. Do take care of yourself."

Sabine nodded and the other woman left the room. With her mind full of the threat of exposure, Sabine made her way back to where Jim was standing. He set his PADD down and looked at her with bright eyes.

"Congratulations," he said. He moved to hug her and she threw herself into his arms, hugging him tightly in return. Sabine had been rattled by Commodore Paris's words and she sought comfort in the hug her friend was offering. Jim sensed her unease and he looked in her eyes as they pulled away from one another.

"I hope you choose to join us on the Enterprise," he said with a smile.

"I do not know what to say," she exclaimed.

"You? I don't know how to thank you for risking your career and your safety for us."

"It was the right thing to do. I am only sorry I could not have helped you in enough time to save the ship."

"It happened so fast," he said, his eyes clouding over as he replayed the Enterprise's destruction in his mind. "We would have needed another ship alongside us and even then, it most likely would've been two ships down instead of one."

"But you will get a new ship?"

"Yeah. In fact, they're giving us the ship they're currently finishing."

"Really?" Sabine was surprised. She knew there was a state-of-the-art Constitution Class ship being completed at the base but she had thought it was going to someone else.

"Captain Decker doesn't have anywhere close to a full crew assembled yet so they've asked him to let us take the almost completed ship. It works out well for everyone. Decker has time to find more crew members and now there won't be 323 bored crew members waiting around on Yorktown for the next year while a new ship gets built."

"When will you be ready to go?"

"They say the ship should be completed in about three weeks."

"Oh là! That is soon," Sabine marveled.

"Yep. Which is why I need you to join us. We need a full medical staff." He watched his friend's face closely for a reaction.

"Jim…have you even talked to…Doctor McCoy about this?" It took everything in her not to use his first name.

"In a manner of speaking. I told him I had some leads."

"He will never agree to this," Sabine protested.

"You might be right. We're about to find out," Jim said, eyes once again mischievous.

"What?" Sabine felt a panic rise inside her.

"I asked Bones to meet us here," he glanced up at the clock on the wall. "He should arrive any minute."

"Jim, no!" Sabine felt herself flush. "You cannot do this. He will be so angry."

"We'll see," Jim answered, almost gleefully.

Before Sabine could reply, the door to the conference room opened and she heard a familiar voice complaining. She spun around to see the face that had haunted her dreams since leaving the Academy.

"Dammit, Jim, next time you tell me to meet you somewhere, make sure you give me–"

McCoy looked up and stopped talking when he realized Jim wasn't alone. He stared at Sabine for a moment in confusion and she tugged self-consciously on the bobbed wig she was wearing. For a brief moment, the disguise gave McCoy pause. The instant he recognized her, his face hardened. Sabine wilted inside.

"What the hell is going on?" he growled at Jim. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"Doctor McCoy," Jim said pointedly, all trace of enthusiasm hidden. "Have a seat. I told you we would meet to discuss candidates to fill the vacant medical positions."

"You told me we'd be meeting a Doctor Sinclair, from the hospital board," McCoy grumbled, taking a seat across the oversized table. Jim motioned to Sabine to sit and took the seat next to hers. She avoided McCoy's glare.

"This is Doctor Sinclair," Jim said, gesturing to Sabine. "We know her as Doctor Latour. And she's on the Yorktown Hospital Board." He smiled at Sabine and she gave him a weak nod in return.

"I know who she is, Jim," McCoy snapped. "What the hell is going on?"

"The captain has asked me to come aboard the Enterprise to serve as a part of the senior medical staff, contingent on your approval," Sabine said evenly, fixing her eyes just above McCoy's head.

"You don't seriously think I'm going to agree to this, do you?" McCoy directed his question to both of the people across the table from him.

"I think you need to seriously consider it," Jim replied, his tone firm. "We have three weeks till launch and you need at least two more doctors and three more nurses to have a staff that will be considered adequate to the needs of the ship. One of those doctors needs to be experienced enough to serve as your second. Now, I haven't specifically asked this, but I'm pretty sure Doctor Latour can convince another doctor and three nurses to join her if she chooses to come aboard."

"I'm not having her on my staff," McCoy said stubbornly.

"Why not?" Jim challenged him. "Give me your reasons for rejecting her. And keep it professional," he added, seeing McCoy's mouth fly open to respond.

Sabine remained quiet, watching the two men spar.

McCoy closed his mouth and took a moment to collect his thoughts. "We can't trust her," he finally spat. "She's been using a fake identity while here at Yorktown. Who knows what else she's hiding?"

"I've seen her files," Jim shot back. "I know she's trustworthy."

"It is alright," she said softly to the man next to her. She then directed her attention to the hostile man across from her.

"I did use a false name while here," Sabine said, hiding all emotion from her voice and staring McCoy straight in the face. "I have used multiple false identities over the past few years. I had several reasons for doing so, some of which are not open to discussion. But one reason I can share is this: I was attacked several years ago and the perpetrator has not been apprehended. He has continued to assault others, including people who know me. For both my own safety and the safety of my friends, it had been my plan to maintain a false identity until the attacker was caught."

McCoy had no response. He remembered his dream, remembered what Cass had told him afterward. He still didn't know if Sabine knew he had experienced the attack with her. As unhappy as he was to see her, he would not argue with what she'd said. But that didn't mean he would let her anywhere near his staff or his med bay.

"Bones, come on. She's literally the best doctor on this base," Jim argued.

"I do not know about that," Sabine replied. "But I am a good doctor and I do know other good doctors and nurses, many of whom would be willing to serve on a starship, especially the Enterprise."

"You want to do this?" McCoy asked her incredulously.

"I am unsure," she answered truthfully. "I have not had any time to think about it."

"Maybe," Jim said, seeing an opportunity in an otherwise dismal conversation, "you should both take a couple of days to think about it before you make a decision."

McCoy glared at him.

"Let's talk about this at the end of the week," Jim proposed.

"Okay," Sabine agreed. McCoy grunted.

"We done here?" he asked, standing up from his seat.

"Yes," Jim replied, a touch of weariness in his voice. He stood as well and Sabine got to her feet. She turned to Jim and extended her hand. He grabbed it in his and shook it. She then turned so that she was addressing both men.

"In the meantime, and regardless of what decision you come to about my invitation to join your crew, I will ask some of my colleagues if they would be interested. You need two doctors and three nurses?"

"Yes," McCoy answered tersely. He walked out of the room.

"That went well," Jim sighed.

Sabine turned back to him. "He really does hate me," she said, in an almost stunned voice. Jim put his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry about that," he said. "It probably wasn't fair to throw that at you without any preparation."

"You would never have gotten me here if you had told me in advance," she replied.

"Yeah, him either. I know it's the first time you've seen him since…" he trailed off, not wanting to make things worse. "But I think he'll come around."

Sabine almost laughed in his face.

"You are kidding, right?" she retorted. "He truly despises me." The look he'd given her when he recognized her – that look was going to haunt her.

"Turns out you did a really good job with those memories," Jim replied. "Look, having you on the ship might give him that final push to remember the truth."

"We do not know that," she said softly.

"But what if it does? And what if he agrees to let you come on board? Would you?" Jim asked her earnestly.

Sabine thought about it. She was, at heart, an explorer. Her experiences with the Peacekeepers, her adventures after the Academy – all of it had made her want to see more worlds and meet more beings. And the Enterprise – it was the best ship in the fleet; she'd be as safe there as she'd be anywhere. With the safety aspect covered, she could assume her own identity again and get back to the exploration that had always appealed to her. She knew she'd regret it if she didn't try for it.

"Of course I would," she breathed. "But I will only agree to it if you get him to agree."

"Leave Bones to me," Jim told her, his energy barely contained. "I'll get him to agree and you find me a doctor or two and a few nurses – make sure they're cute too."

She laughed. "Oh no, you do not get to sleep with the medical staff," she protested.

"See? Bones is gonna love having you on board," he replied.

They said their goodbyes and Sabine made her way back to her apartment. Could she really do this? Serve with someone who so clearly disliked her? Someone she had loved who wanted nothing to do with her? She felt confusion, pain, elation – such a mix of emotions. She wondered what she would do if this offer had come up while she and Aubrey were still together – would she have agreed? Why not? Aubrey spent large chunks of time in space. And she knew the Enterprise crew well enough. But something told Sabine Aubrey would not have been okay with her joining the Enterprise and working with McCoy.

When Geoff commed her later in the day, she invited him over and the two doctors discussed what had happened.

"I'd go with you, you know."

"I did not want to presume but you were the first one I thought of. There is a Vulcan on the crew."

"I know – the first officer. It'd be amazing to serve on a Constitution Class ship."

"Mmm," she replied, thinking of how much anger she'd felt from McCoy.

"I won't go without you. If he doesn't agree to take you on, I won't consider it."

"Geoff, you do not need to do that," Sabine scolded him.

"I know. But I'm just telling you – and you can tell them too. None of us here would take a position elsewhere without you also having the chance to go. You know it's true. The staff here loves you."

"The staff does not need to know whether I was offered a position or not," Sabine said very seriously to Geoff. "You are the only one who knows that and I expect you to keep it to yourself." She arched an eyebrow at him. "I mean it."

Jim commed Sabine a few days later. In the interim, she had been informed by most of the doctors on staff that they had received comms or PADD messages from the CMO of the Enterprise. He was looking for two doctors to come aboard. Every doctor had told them they would do it…but only if he took Doctor Sinclair as well. Sabine didn't know if Geoff was behind their uniform responses but she could only imagine how annoyed McCoy was.

"Yes?" she answered.

"You have some time to meet for a coffee?"

"Give me an hour."

"Okay. I'll meet you there."

An hour later, Jim was once again in the lobby of the hospital. He and Sabine walked to the coffee shop around the corner. Sabine could tell from his demeanor that he had news but it wasn't till they sat down with their drinks that he got to the point.

"I got Bones to agree to let you come on board," he said quickly.

"You did? How?"

"Don't ask. It wasn't easy. But he agrees. There are some conditions though," he said apprehensively.

"I bet there are," she replied. "What are they?"

"He wants you to serve the Gamma shift," Jim started with the worst.

"The night shift? Let me guess – he works the Alpha shift." There was almost no overlap between the two shifts. Geoff would be disappointed – he preferred the night shifts because they allowed him to conduct research. Sabine felt ambivalent about Gamma. She'd worked it often enough at the hospital to know she could do it and that was really all that mattered.

"Yeah. He also insists you find someone besides him to be your doctor."

"Mmm, that would have been the case anyway," Sabine replied. "He should not have access to my files."

"Yeah, I know. That was an easy one to concede."

"What else?" she asked uncertainly.

"This wasn't his idea but he liked it," Jim said. "And you probably will too. I'd like to bring you on initially for a six-month trial period. If it doesn't work out – either you hate it or he isn't happy with your performance or it's just clear to me everyone is miserable, then we end it."

"A trial run," she mused. "He does not think I will pass it, does he?"

"I think he hopes you'll choose to leave after six months," Jim replied.

"I will choose to leave? Or he will drive me out?"

"Look, Bones is cranky, he's anti-social, he lacks a sense of humor about most things, but he's not gonna sabotage you."

"We will see," she replied.

"Does that mean you're in?"

"I told you I would agree if he did," Sabine said.

"Good," Jim's eyes were sparkling. "You won't regret this. And you know you'll make it through the trial period."

They talked over the rest of the details. She would, technically, be second in command in med bay, just due to her experience. She was sure McCoy was thrilled about that. She told Jim about Geoff and the nurses who had readily volunteered. The Enterprise would have a complete medical staff. Sabine had no illusions about the challenges facing her. But she was ready for the next chapter of adventure.


	84. Chapter 84

"Jim told me to meet him here today, at 1300 hours, for a tour of med bay," Sabine said, feeling flustered and awkward.

"Jim's not on the ship today," McCoy said brusquely. "He's in meetings with Yorktown Command all day. You got the appointment wrong."

As part of his campaign to bring Sabine on board, Jim had promised McCoy he would take care of all her orientation meetings, including the med bay tour. McCoy had been promised he wouldn't have to deal with her before it was absolutely necessary and yet, here she was, asking about a med bay tour. McCoy couldn't clench his jaw harder if he tried.

Sabine collected herself. "I did not," she insisted. "I have it right here in a message from Jim." She held her PADD out to the other doctor and he ignored it.

"Well, I don't know what to tell you. He's not here and I'm busy. You'll have to reschedule."

"I cannot," she said, feeling frustration building inside her. "I am booked in surgeries and appointments throughout the next week. This is my only free day." She didn't bother explaining to him that she'd arranged specifically for today to be her free day because Jim had told her he could only meet today.

McCoy finally stopped arranging supplies and gave the other doctor a hard stare.

"Let me look at that," he demanded, holding his hand out for her PADD. She gave it to him and he noticed she was without gloves, just like she'd been a couple of weeks ago at their first meeting.

"You don't wear gloves anymore?" he asked nodding to her hands.

"No. It has been years since I needed them," she replied, looking down at her hands.

"Really?" he sounded skeptical. But of course he would. She had repressed most of his memories regarding the gloveless moments they had shared.

"Yes, really," she replied, with perhaps a bit more annoyance seeping into her voice than she had meant.

"If any crew member complains during your exams –"

"They will not," Sabine interrupted impatiently as she took her PADD back from him. "And if they do, I will wear some damn gloves."

"No need to be ill-tempered," he responded and Sabine knew he was enjoying toying with her. "I want what's best for the patients."

"Of course," she said, gritting her teeth. "We all do. I have been practicing since leaving the Academy. No patient has ever complained about my telepathy interfering."

"So you say," McCoy noted. "But all I have to go on for that is your word and that's not worth a hill of beans to me."

She stared at him, shocked at his open hostility. But then, they were alone in the med bay. Nurse Chapel had left to pick up more supplies from the hanger.

"I think I will leave now," she said coolly as his communicator chirped and he grabbed it out of his pants pocket to check. "Since Jim is not here, I see no reason to stay."

McCoy ignored her, looking down at his communicator screen. He swore and looked back up at her.

"Jim just sent me a message asking if I'd show you around. Claims he forgot and double-booked himself today."

Sabine rolled her eyes. Their mutual annoyance with Jim was the only thing the two could agree on at the moment. McCoy was going to murder the captain later that night. It was a shame Jim had survived so many missions only to be killed by his best friend. If Sabine had anything to say about it, she'd help him hide the body. She hoped this wasn't a sign of things to come. Jim shouldn't play matchmaker with two people who didn't want to be in the same room.

"Do not worry about it," Sabine said, still aggrieved from McCoy's earlier comments on her trustworthiness. "I know what a med bay looks like. I can skip the tour if you are too busy."

He gave her a bland look and shrugged his shoulders. "Fine with me. But if you come aboard and don't know where things are, I'm not taking time to explain."

She made a frustrated noise. "So, you do not want to take me on a tour but you will be ready to criticize me the first time I ask where something is. You can see how ridiculous that is, yes?"

Her hands were on her hips as she stared him down. "Alright," he grumbled and just as he was preparing to show her around, Chapel returned.

"Christine," McCoy said gratefully to his head nurse. He would buy all her drinks for the foreseeable future and give her any day off she requested. "Would you show Doctor Latour around med bay while I take inventory?"

Sabine didn't know whether she wanted to kick McCoy in the shins or hug Christine Chapel for showing up in the nick of time. She turned her back on McCoy and smiled at the other woman.

McCoy watched discreetly as Chapel showed his soon-to-be second in command around the new ship's med bay. He wondered if Latour was going to keep her hair short and dark like it was currently. He preferred the longer curls and green eyes. He pushed the thought out of his mind, disgusted with himself. He didn't prefer anything about her. She was a pain in his ass and he was dreading her addition to the ship. Didn't matter what hair or eye color she had – she was dangerous.

* * *

"I cannot believe you agreed to go aboard," Adjoa said, her voice slightly static-y through the communicator.

"How could I say no? It is the Enterprise." Sabine replied.

"Enterprise or a chance to be in regular contact with Leo?" Her best friend could always be counted on to get to the heart of the matter.

"He hates me. I mean it. And you know what is most strange?"

"What?" Adjoa was listening intently and Sabine imagined her friend leaning forward in her chair, cradling the device on her shoulder and against her ear just like Sabine had her own communicator. Some habits, like treating communicators as though they were cell phones, died hard.

"It has been surprisingly easy for me to dislike him in return. I thought I would see him and freeze or spend a lot of time crying over what we once were. But instead, I find myself irritated and short with him."

"Well, it has been years, oh! Did you think it would feel exactly like when we left the Academy?"

"I guess not," Sabine said uncertainly. "I did not know what to expect. I did not think I would be so annoyed with him."

"I imagine it would be hard to not be put off – you remember things the way they really were and he remembers you doing things you would never really do. He treats you like someone you are not. That is annoying," Adjoa explained, making it all so maddeningly simple.

"You are right, as always," Sabine sighed. Inside, she reconciled herself to the fact that knowing someone despised you was a good deal different from having to experience said dislike, day in and day out. Sabine hadn't really contemplated what it would be like to spend any kind of significant time with the man whose memories she had altered to hate her. Sure, she'd had countless fantasies about him remembering the truth. But now she was going to have to live with what she'd done. Perhaps she deserved his anger for having messed with his mind. Even if the reasons had been worthy, she was beginning to believe nothing was worth tampering with another person's mind.

"I cannot help my boundless wisdom," Adjoa cracked.

"Mmm, I miss you, your lack of humility notwithstanding."

"Tu me manques aussi, ma petite choue. When will you be close enough to visit?"

"Who knows?" Sabine replied with a puff of breath. "I have no idea where we are headed. And you know Starfleet is not exactly friendly with the Klingons right now."

"I know, I know. I would like to lock delegates from both parties in a room until they resolved their differences."

"We would be waiting a long time for that door to open," Sabine laughed.

"Can you picture it, oh? The carnage!" Adjoa laughed as well.

"You are safe though, oui?" Sabine always worried just a little bit that Adjoa would eventually find herself out of favor with the Klingons.

"Ben, oui, hein! They love me here. They wish all humans were like me."

"Do you tell them most are?"

"Yes, but they have selective hearing."

"Story of our lives, mmm?"

"Bon bah voila."

The two women continued to talk for several minutes more before both had to get back to their respective jobs. With the Pike sisters out of her life, Adjoa was the only close friend Sabine still spoke with consistently. The Resurrection crew maintained their contact with one another through PADD messages but Sabine needed more than that to handle the changes she'd faced in the last couple of months. Adjoa had been there for her through the break-up with Aubrey, the discovery of Cass's attempt to sleep with Leo, and now Sabine's decision to join the Enterprise crew. Sabine felt herself at a precipice. She was about to join a tightknit group who had been working with one another for years, and many of whom had known one another at the Academy. One of her few solaces was she'd be coming aboard with a large group of newcomers so maybe she wouldn't feel quite so much like an outsider.

What Adjoa had not mentioned to Sabine was how Cass had reached out to her after their last fight. Cass had laid everything on the table for Adjoa, surprised that the other woman didn't already know about the rift between her and Sabine. While Adjoa had initially been angry with Cass and unwilling to talk to her for a few days afterwards, she had come around once she was convinced Cass regretted her part in the fight and wanted to mend fences with Sabine. She agreed to help Cass and further decided not to mention to Sabine that Cass had reached out to her. Adjoa made sure she was available whenever Sabine needed to talk, going so far as to visit her best friend to help her pack as she prepared to join the Enterprise crew. As always, she brought some Klingon crewmates wither her to help out, much to the consternation of the agent assigned to gather her memories the next time she visited Yorktown. Adjoa reported back to Cass what was happening with Sabine so that the half-Betazoid knew what to expect when they saw one another again. It was only a matter of time before Cass came aboard the Enterprise for another supply drop-off. Both Adjoa and Cass hoped Sabine would be ready to talk by then.

* * *

"It is breathtaking," Sabine whispered. The Enterprise was set to launch the following day and Jim had asked her to meet him for a walk-through of the ship. They were now standing together in the observation lounge, looking down on Yorktown base from space dock.

"Really makes you appreciate how far we've come," Jim replied with a smile. "I can only imagine what it's like for you."

"In my time, the idea of this kind of far-reaching, extended space travel was nothing more than a distant dream – the stuff of science fiction," Sabine murmured. They were alone in the lounge and could speak freely with one another.

"You sure you want to do this?" Jim asked with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Of course. How could I say no to exploring new worlds and meeting new life and new civilizations?" Sabine had an equally excited gleam in her eye.

"And the rest of it? You'll be okay seeing him day in and day out?" Now that she had officially stopped working at the hospital, she had discarded her wig and removed the dye from her eyes. Jim was happy to see her as he'd remembered her back at the Academy. He wondered how Bones would handle seeing her familiar features no longer obscured.

"I will have to be."

"You're braver and tougher than you look," Jim replied.

"And you are smarter than you look," Sabine retorted with a sly smile.

"Thanks? I think? Why is everyone always telling me that?" Jim returned her smile with one of his own.

The moment was ended by the soft hiss of the doors to the lounge sliding open. In walked McCoy. He looked at the two people in front of the window with a scowl. Sabine almost groaned audibly. Jim sighed internally. So much for hoping his friend would react positively to Sabine's new old look.

"Jim, I've been looking everywhere for you. I need to go over final numbers with you," he huffed.

"I should get back," Sabine said quickly, looking to make an exit. "Thank you for the tour and I will see you tomorrow." She addressed Jim directly, ignoring the doctor who was trying to bore holes through her back with his glare.

"See ya, Latour!" Jim said brightly, in an attempt to compensate for his friend's surly demeanor. They both watched as she left the lounge swiftly.

"Jesus, Bones. You could at least try being civil," Jim complained once the two men were alone.

"Me? You're the damn fool who invited her on board," McCoy shot back. "She's dangerous and you're here treating her like your new best friend."

Jim rolled his eyes. "She's not dangerous," he replied.

"The hell she isn't," McCoy snapped, the anger that had been welling inside him for the past few weeks finally spilling over. "How could you ask her to join the crew? Did it ever occur to you how that might affect the rest of us?"

"You mean, how it might affect you? You're the only one on board who knows her besides me. And yeah, I thought about you when I decided to ask her to join us."

"Oh, you thought about me, huh? Did the wires get crossed in that corn-stuffed head of yours?"

"Bones, you've got to let this go. It was five years ago. She's not the same person you remember," Jim chose his words carefully, not wanting to inadvertently mess with his friend's mind.

"Let it go? She cheated on me, Jim. Lied about it, covered it up – I don't know how or why you can trust her. And what I really don't get is why, as my friend, you'd make me serve with her." There was genuine sadness mixed in the anger in McCoy's voice and Jim wished he could do something to prove to Bones that he had the man's best interests in mind. He sighed.

"I'm sorry. You just have to trust me on this. Bringing her on is what's best for all of us right now. And if I'm wrong? She leaves in six months. You can put up with anything for a few months."

The two friends stared at one another for a few minutes and McCoy finally shook his head and handed his PADD to Jim. "Here are the final numbers for crew members and medical supplies. Get back to me with your approval whenever." With that, he turned and stalked out of the lounge.

Jim rubbed his forehead with the hand that wasn't holding the PADD. He hoped he wasn't making a huge mistake. Only time would tell.


	85. Chapter 85

"Doctor Latour," came a male voice from behind her. Sabine knew who it was before she turned away from the window. She'd felt him enter the lounge.

"Commander Spock," she replied, looking at the Vulcan closely. She would not have guessed he was half-human. Sabine did not offer her hand to Spock and he did not offer his to her. Instead, they nodded to one another in greeting.

"I trust you are finding your way around the ship without problem," he commented, gesturing for her to sit down at a small table. She complied and he took the seat across from her.

"Mmm-hmm. So far, so good," she replied.

"Do you have any questions for me?" She appreciated Spock's straightforward approach. No wasting time with small talk.

"Are you and I the only two telepaths on the ship?" She had not felt another telepathic signal yet though it had only been two days since the Enterprise had left Yorktown. On a ship of this size, it might take her a while to find another telepath.

"Right now, yes. There was another telepathic crew member but we lost him on Altamid."

"I am sorry to hear that," Sabine murmured.

"I trust the Captain informed you that I have been made aware of your background," Spock replied, changing the subject with an abruptness Sabine was accustomed to from Vulcans.

"Yes, he did," she responded, unsure of where he was going with this line of conversation.

"I would like to make myself available to you, should you require or desire it. Vulcans practice a form of meditation that you may find useful and I am willing to show you how."

Sabine was flustered by Spock's offer. Vulcans were notoriously private regarding their meditative practices. What had caused him to reach out to her?

"Thank you, Commander. I am a bit unclear as to why you would make such a generous offer to a near-stranger," she finally replied.

"I believe you and I share some common experiences," he answered. "We have both watched our homes be destroyed and have lost loved ones. It seemed only logical that I should extend an invitation to you, especially in light of our shared ability."

Sabine was touched, if not still a bit uncomfortable, by the Vulcan's offer and his reasoning for it. She wasn't sure she would find spending significant time meditating with Spock particularly relaxing, as it had been her experience that Vulcans made her anxious, but she could hardly turn him down.

"I would like that, Commander. I will confess a bit of nervousness. My dealings with Vulcans before now have been somewhat stressful."

"You are not the first human to make such an observation," Spock noted and she wondered if she was making it up or if there was a hint of a smile on his face.

"Of course," she replied. "I am afraid you will find my mind quite disorganized compared with your own. That has been the standard complaint of other Vulcans I have worked with."

"I am half-human, Doctor. Further, I am surrounded by humans on this ship. In contrast to what I witness daily, I'm sure your mind will not be so untidy."

Sabine smiled. For a Vulcan, Spock was positively charming.

"I look forward to meeting with you soon, Commander," Sabine looked down at her PADD. "If you will excuse me, I have a meeting in med bay to get to." She rose to leave the lounge.

"Good luck, Doctor," Spock replied, rising with her. He gave her a small nod and they left the lounge together, each going their separate ways once they entered the corridor.

* * *

Over her first two weeks aboard the Enterprise, Sabine met more crew members. Being on Gamma shift, she didn't interact much with Jim or the other bridge members who worked the Alpha shift while she was on call but she did run into most of them in the mess hall or recreation center.

One of the best things about being on a ship, and having a fixed schedule, was the ability to begin exercising regularly again. Starfleet encouraged regular physical activity from crew members and Sabine happily set aside an hour each day, before or after her shift, to either practice her fighting skills or book a small room for dance practice. After what had happened on X0-19, Sabine had begun re-training herself rigorously in the arts of hand-to-hand combat and self-defense. It was one way she had found to make herself feel safe and in control once more. Upon joining the Enterprise and practicing her skills in the rec center, members of security had quickly noticed and she had more than enough people to choose from for practice spars. As for dancing, she showed up to her normal studio midway through the second week only to find someone else already there, warming up.

"Oh, I am sorry. I thought this room would be empty," she said apologetically, after walking in on the tall woman stretching out.

"Don't worry about it. Today's my free day but I'm normally here early in the mornings before Alpha shift."

"I see," Sabine replied, watching the other woman gracefully extend her leg while en pointe. "You have beautiful form," she said appreciatively.

"Thanks. You're familiar with ballet?"

"Yes. And tap, jazz, contemporary – I love dancing," Sabine sighed, still on a high from being able to get in the studio on a regular basis once more.

"Me too," the other woman said, coming down from her toes and walking over to Sabine. "I'm Nyota," she said, extending her hand.

"Sabine," she replied, taking the other woman's hand in her own.

"Sabine Latour?" Nyota asked and Sabine nodded. "You're one of the new doctors McCoy's been grumbling about," Nyota said with a smile.

Sabine blushed. "He has been complaining?" She felt a brief spasm in her stomach. What was he telling other crew members? She was certain neither she nor M'Benga had done anything wrong while on shift. But she also knew he had plenty of reasons to dislike her on a personal level.

"Len complains about everything – don't take it personally."

"Easier said than done," Sabine mumbled.

"What?" Nyota had returned to the barre.

"Mmm, nothing. I can leave you to get back to your practice." Sabine turned to leave the room.

"You can stay if you want. It's nice having someone else to practice with. Hikaru and Christine join me sometimes but he's not really into ballet as much and she couldn't make it today."

"You do not mind?"

"Of course not. Come on. It'll be fun!"

Sabine set her bag down and quickly grabbed her pointe shoes. She changed into them and joined Nyota at the barre.

Nyota observed the other woman as they stretched and ran through their positions. The petite doctor was graceful and light on her feet. Her form was flawless. Uhura thought about what McCoy had told her the other night, when drunk.

"Jim's decided to bring a couple of new doctors aboard," he'd growled.

"Yeah, and? How can you possibly complain about having a full staff?" she'd replied, always amazed at her friend's capacity for crankiness.

"No, you don't understand, Ny. He's bringing aboard someone I don't trust."

She had pressed him for details but McCoy had left the bar instead, irritated at her for prying. Nyota smelled a mystery and there was nothing she liked better than a good puzzle to solve. She decided she'd talk to Christine as well and get the head nurse to give her any good information from med bay.

After practice, the women were changing their shoes.

"We should do this every week," Nyota said to Sabine. "Practice really is better when you have someone else pushing you to do your best."

"I would like that," Sabine replied. She'd enjoyed watching the other woman dance. They had comparable experience and it would be nice to make another friend aboard the Enterprise.

"Christine – Nurse Chapel – normally joins me at this time. Would you be alright with another person as well?"

"Of course! I did not realize Christine was a dancer too."

"Yeah, she's really good. You know, some of us girls get together for drinks from time to time. You should join us," Nyota offered.

"I would love that," Sabine said, trying not to gush. "I work Gamma though."

"We'll find a way around that. Here's my personal comm ID," Uhura said, sending it to Sabine's PADD. Crew members had their own communicators and PADDs for personal use and then the Starfleet communicators and PADDs issued for away missions and work purposes. "I'll message you about the next meet-up. In the meantime, see you next week, okay?"

"Yes," Sabine agreed. "Thank you!" Nyota waved to her as she left the studio.

Overall, Sabine was happy with her choice to join the ship. She found the crew, with the exception of McCoy, to be kind and fun. She especially loved Scotty – the Scotsman made her laugh till she cried every time she ran into him, which was frequent, between all his injuries, and his social nature. It took her no time to discover he was running a distillery in engineering. He claimed the captain had no idea about it but Sabine was certain Jim knew exactly what was happening in pretty much every part of the ship. She was happy…except for the decidedly large McCoy-shaped thorn in her side.


	86. Chapter 86

Gamma shift was generally slow. They dealt with the occasional engineering accident and the normal sicknesses that would arise on a ship full of 430 beings, but Sabine found herself bored most nights. Bored, and completely out of synch with her body's normal circadian rhythms. Some people were night owls. Previous to working the Gamma shift regularly, Sabine had counted herself among those who preferred late nights. She had always been able to handle the rigorous schedule of the hospitals she'd worked at, with their constantly changing shifts. She'd worked enough all-nighters to believe she could handle working a regular night shift. But now she knew otherwise. Trying to train herself to sleep a full 6-8 hours during Alpha shift was well-nigh impossible. Even though the ship had no real day and night to speak of, the artificial day and night lighting it used was enough for her body to find its rhythm and Gamma shift was ruining her natural inclination to be asleep by 2 or 3 in the morning. It didn't help that when she was awake and working, there wasn't much to do. She found herself both restless and tired. The worst of it was the end of the Gamma shift, which, of course, was when she overlapped with McCoy. She was often most irritable by the last two hours of the shift which were the two hours of the day they were forced to be in the same location with one another. McCoy generally spent those hours in his office, leaving her to run the floor.

About three weeks into her time on the Enterprise, Sabine discovered just how difficult it could be to manage her emotions without proper sleep. She was coming to the end of her shift. Tired and cranky as usual, she was doing everything in her power not to snap at anyone, especially McCoy. A young Orion ensign from engineering came into med bay, her eye bruised and her lip cut. One of the nurses got her settled on a bed and pulled the privacy curtains. Sabine came in to assess what had happened to the ensign, assuming it would be the usual engineering-related injury. But as soon as she sat down beside the young woman, she felt the Orion's great unease and nervousness. The volatile emotions completely overpowered any pheromones the Orion was releasing. Sabine looked at her patient in the eyes.

"Ensign, do you want to tell me why you are here?" she asked gently.

"I tripped," the woman said simply, looking down in an effort to avoid her gaze. "I hit my eye and lip when I fell."

"You tripped," Sabine repeated softly, alarms going off in her head.

"Yeah," the Orion responded evasively. Her body language was closed off, with her arms crossed in front of her and her back hunched over.

Sabine looked down at her PADD to find the woman's first name. "Thailanaa," she said evenly, "please look at me."

The other woman complied reluctantly.

"Tell me the truth," Sabine coaxed her, scrolling through the patient's records on her PADD. "I can see from your file you have been here numerous times before for similar injuries. You show up at different times, but never during your work shifts even though you attribute most of these injuries to work-related mishaps. You are scheduled on Beta shift but here you are right now in the middle of the night."

"I guess I'm just clumsy," the other woman replied and Sabine gave her a look.

"You do not have to lie to me. It is better that you do not."

Thailanaa's eyes filled with tears and Sabine looked at her with empathy.

"There is a way we can do this without you needing to say a word," she counseled the other woman. Thailanaa looked at her in confusion. Sabine held out her hand.

"I am a touch telepath," she explained. "If you will permit me, I can touch you and see what you would otherwise have to describe."

"But you're human," Thailanaa protested.

"Yes. I am also a telepath."

Thailanaa looked at Sabine with doubt in her eyes. "May I?" Sabine asked, holding her hand out, palm up, for the other woman to see. Thailanaa nodded slowly and Sabine placed her hand on the woman's bare arm. The Orion looked up in surprise at Sabine as she fed confidence and tranquility through the connection.

"You really are a telepath," she marveled.

"Yes," Sabine replied. "And I want to help you."

The other woman sat quietly for a moment then began to speak, her voice barely above a whisper. "He doesn't mean to do it. That's what he tells me. But I'm starting to think he's lying."

"May I look at your memories?" Sabine asked lightly, continuing to feed positive emotions to the other woman. Thailanaa nodded again, this time with more certainty. Sabine entered the Orion's mind and found memory after memory painting a dark story. She saw how Thailanaa's boyfriend, another one of the engineering ensigns, would beat her, even going so far as to assault her when she would tell him she was tired and not in the mood for intimacy. Sabine felt her face grow warm with anger, her own assault never far from her mind, but now front and center. Sabine was grim when she had finished reviewing each incident as Thailanaa remembered them. There was no question the boyfriend was intentionally abusing his girlfriend.

"We are going to take care of you," she said to the Orion, again feeding feelings of safety to the other woman as she rubbed her arm. "He will not touch you again."

The Orion nodded gratefully and Sabine gave her a sedative to help with the pain while she fixed the bruises on Thailanaa's face. The Orion fell asleep and Sabine squared her shoulders, heading to the office where McCoy was squirreled away. She opened the door without knocking.

"I need to attend to something. The floor is yours," she said to the other doctor, not giving him a chance to contradict her or ask any questions. He stared as she spun around and left the office and med bay. She typically avoided him and in the short time she'd been there, she had (annoyingly) been a consummate professional. For her to leave med bay without requesting his authorization was strange. He got up from his desk and went out to see what was going on. The nurses told him the only patient they had was the sleeping Orion and he pulled her file up on his PADD. When he saw Sabine's most recent notations, he realized what she was doing.

"Shit," he murmured, jogging back to his office.

"Computer, where is Doctor Latour?" he demanded, as the doors to the office shut.

"Doctor Latour is on Deck Sixteen, crew personnel quarters."

"Goddammit, Latour," he growled softly. "Which quarters?" he asked the computer.

"Doctor Latour is in the quarters of Ensign Masters," the computer responded. McCoy cursed again. He punched one of the comm buttons on the wall.

"Security," he called out. A man answered him. "Get to Deck Sixteen, Ensign Masters' quarters. He needs to be brought to med bay. Now!"

But security was too late. Sabine returned minutes later dragging a bloodied and bruised Ensign Masters with her. He was still on his feet but McCoy could tell he wouldn't be much longer if Latour had her way. Once in med bay, he struggled to break free and McCoy couldn't hear what he said to Latour but he watched her calmly kick her foot out and stomp on his calf while joining her hands together to hit him on the back, bringing the ensign prostrate to the floor and howling.

"Enough," he called out. "Get away from him," he commanded Latour angrily. She glared up at him but stepped away from the cowering ensign. The nurses on duty came up to take the man from where he was simpering and assist him to a bed. They confined him to a bed in a room away from Thailanaa and McCoy took a look at Ensign Masters. Latour had busted his jaw and lip badly enough the man couldn't speak clearly, though that wasn't stopping him from grunting obscenities and jerking away from the nurses. McCoy left the nurses to attend to the hostile ensign while he sought out Latour. She was in his office, waiting for him.

"What you just did? You can't do that," he snapped. "We're doctors, not security." He decided not to ask her how the hell she had managed to take down a man who had to weigh at least 70 pounds more than her. He felt a headache coming on. Frankly, he was surprised he didn't have a constant headache now that she was on board. But this was the first time she'd acted out and, having seen the file, he knew why.

"I did not intend to hit him but he ran his mouth," she replied testily.

"I don't care!" McCoy exploded. "This is the kind of thing doctors lose their licenses over. You had no right to hit him."

"He had no right to beat and assault his girlfriend but she is in one of our medical beds recovering. I asked him nicely to come with me and when he did not comply, I asked less nicely. I am within my rights to use force if I believe it is a matter of crew safety. Did you see her records? Do you know how long this has been going on?"

Sabine's fists were clenched, her eyes blazing, and her cheeks flushed. McCoy stood up a little straighter, his arms crossed in front of him.

"You used more force than was necessary and you know it. I want you to leave. You're confined to quarters until further notice," he barked.

To her credit, she didn't fight back. He could see in her eyes that she wanted to. Instead, she turned around and left the office. He checked the computer a few minutes later and it confirmed she was in her quarters. Seething, no doubt, but better there than in med bay, where she'd be tempted to take her anger out on the surly ensign. McCoy sighed heavily. He knew this was a sensitive topic for her. He didn't like having her on the ship and this situation provided a way to get her kicked off. But his conscience wouldn't let him live with that. Those fragments of memory from her attack on X0-19 were burned into his own mind.

He reviewed the Orion ensign's file again. Latour was right. Thailanaa had come in with a sad regularity over the course of the last three years presenting bruises, broken limbs, and the like. Someone should have flagged it before now but she sought out different doctors each visit and none of them had ever taken the time to review just how many "accidents" she'd had. Taken as a whole, it painted a picture of a hellish, abusive relationship.

McCoy decided to pay Ensign Masters a visit, knowing the nurses would have patched him up enough to talk.

"Ensign Masters," he said as he pulled up a stool to sit next to the man who was now less bruised but still sullen. "Care to tell me your side of the story?"

"Who's the lady that came after me?" the other man sneered. "I'll have her job for what she did."

"Doctor Latour is one of our most capable doctors," McCoy responded coolly, internally irritated at having to praise his ex. "She said you were unresponsive to her initial request that you join us up here for questioning. Said you left her no choice but to use force."

The younger man said nothing, continuing to glower.

"Care to explain why your co-worker has so many bruises?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's a clumsy bitch," Ensign Masters replied flippantly.

"Can't be clumsy and receive the accolades she's gotten from the engineering department," McCoy noted. When the young man said nothing, he added, "We know you two are a couple. We also know you've been roughing her up for a while. Cut the shit and tell me why you think you have the right to beat another being."

Ensign Masters smirked. "Does it matter? She's an Orion. Everyone knows Orion women are only good for one thing."

McCoy looked at the young man; he saw his disparaging smile and the emptiness in his eyes. McCoy felt his blood beginning to boil. He hated this guy. No wonder Latour had roughed him up. He stood.

"Ensign, I'll remind you you're in a serious amount of trouble. From here, your next stop is the brig. I suggest you take my questions seriously if you want to keep your career in Starfleet."

"Fuck you," the ensign replied, that same smirk on his face. "And tell your fellow doctor I'll be fucking her later. She looks like the kind who likes it a little rough."

Something in McCoy snapped. Without thinking, he punched the ensign in the face, knocking him out cold. When what he'd done sank in, McCoy groaned.

"Goddammit," he muttered. "Chapel, attend to this man again and once he's awake, get security to take him to the brig."

McCoy stormed into his office. He jammed his thumb down on one of the preset buttons for the office comm.

"Latour," he spat out crossly.

"Yes," came her reply, and he could picture her standing next to the comm in her quarters, her eyes still dark with anger.

"You're free to leave your quarters. But if you lay a hand in anger on another crew member ever again, I'll have you kicked off this ship so fast, your head will spin. Understood?"

"Yes, sir," she replied. He ended the comm.

On her next shift, the nurses told Sabine what had happened – how McCoy had ended up punching the ensign as well. After Thailanaa was released from med bay, McCoy held a special all-staff meeting to discuss signs doctors and nurses needed to look for in cases of domestic abuse. He chided the staff for having allowed Thailanaa's situation go on for so long. Sabine approached McCoy with some hesitation once the meeting had adjourned. He looked up from the PADDs in front of him on the conference table and raised an eyebrow at her, the look on his face cold as always.

"Thank you," she told him, "for doing this." She gestured to the conference room so he would understand what she was thanking him for.

"I didn't have this meeting for you," he retorted. "I did this for Thailanaa and any other patients we may have missed along the way."

"She is not here to thank you but I am," Sabine replied, struggling to remain polite.

"I don't want your thanks. I want you to keep yourself out of trouble."

"Mmm, of course," she replied, no longer able to contain her annoyance. "I will do my best to follow your example. You would never lose your temper and hit a crew member." The sickly sweet tone of her voice paired with an expression of exaggerated innocence were enough to send McCoy into a rage.

"I'm sure you have somewhere else to be right now, Doctor," he said, his anger poorly concealed.

"Not really," Sabine replied, goading him because she was frustrated he couldn't allow her to offer a simple thank you without being a dick.

"Get out, Latour," he responded in a low voice. "I mean it."

She merely nodded and departed. He slowly let out a deep breath once she was gone. Maybe he should have given more thought to kicking her off the ship after all. Meanwhile, Sabine felt a sliver of satisfaction that she'd been able to needle him about his own inability to keep his cool around Ensign Masters.

After, they continued their previous habit of avoiding and ignoring one another. When the Enterprise next docked at a planet for a refueling and supply pick-up, Ensign Masters was discharged from the ship and picked up by Starfleet police for further questioning. Thailanaa was finally free of the abuse she'd faced for so many years, though her mental recovery took significantly longer than her physical recovery. Officially, Sabine received a reprimand on her record but she didn't care. She knew McCoy could've kicked her off the ship. That he didn't meant Jim might just be right. The other doctor might hate her but he was willing to be fair in his treatment of his co-workers.


	87. Chapter 87

"So I told him if all he wanted was someone to deliver his coffee, he could find another yeoman," Janice told the group before her. "We haven't had any problems since then."

"I don't know how you put up with him," Christine muttered, taking a sip of her cosmo.

"Oh, he's not that bad. You're just bitter because he didn't realize you'd left the ship till Carol told him," Nyota interjected, giving Christine a shrewd look.

"You'd be pissed too if you left a ship and the captain couldn't even bother to notice." Christine gave the other woman a glare.

"Yeah…but you're not pissed at him as a captain," Nyota continued. "Don't act like this isn't tied to the fact that you liked him and you were pissed he treated you like another random hook-up."

"I would've never come back here if not for Carol. And Len, the cranky bastard," Christine muttered.

"I miss Carol," Janice sighed.

"Carol?" Sabine asked politely.

"Carol Marcus," Nyota explained. "She was in the science department up until a couple of years ago. Left the ship in a hurry."

"If you ask me," Janice said conspiratorially, "she broke Jim's heart in the process."

"I wonder what went on there?" Nyota mused.

Sabine didn't miss the momentary look of satisfaction on Christine's face at the mention of Jim's broken heart. But something else was bothering her. That last name. What were the chances?

"Carol Marcus. Was she related to –"

"His daughter," Christine answered before Sabine could finish her question. "But she could not have been more different from him if she tried. We were friends at the Academy. She loved her dad but after what happened…I don't think she'll ever forgive him. I mean, obviously, he's dead, but I know she still harbors so much anger towards him."

"As she should," Sabine replied, a flash of anger mixing with the drinks she'd had, prompting her to speak out. "Admiral Marcus ruined so many lives."

"You knew him?" Nyota asked carefully, seeing the passion in the other woman's eyes.

"I met him once. That was enough," Sabine said quietly, regaining control of her emotions.

"When did you meet him?" Janice asked, not noticing Sabine's discomfort at suddenly being in the spotlight. This was the first time she'd joined the other women for drinks and thus far, she'd been content to let the others talk, asking the occasional question or making a remark here and there to show she was listening. Sabine's discomfort did not escape the eagle eyes of Nyota Uhura.

"While I was still at the Academy. It was a brief encounter but it left me with the impression he was not someone to be trusted." Sabine hoped her answer would pacify the other women and they would move on to something else.

"He was a different person around Carol, you know? I met him when she and I were on vacation together our second year at the Academy. He could not have been more charming," Christine said, softly, remembering her own encounter with Admiral Marcus. "I would never have thought he'd end up being such a monster. But he was. And Carol has to live with that now. People treat her like she's him, you know?"

"That is not right," Sabine replied. "We are not our parents. I am sorry she has to deal with that. You keep in touch with her now?" she asked Christine.

"We comm from time to time. I'd like to visit her one of these days but we never have enough time on shore leave."

"Where is she?" Nyota asked with interest.

"Somewhere out in the Beta quadrant. She always evades my questions when I ask for more information. But she's told me she'll meet me whenever we have a few days off."

"Ha! A few days. Wouldn't it be nice if we could have shore leave without something coming up?" Janice commented.

"Right?" Nyota responded. "Like, we don't have to answer every goddamn request for help. We aren't the only damn ship in the fleet."

"Tell that to our fearless leader. Can you remember the last time we had more than a day of leave?" Christine asked.

The women, excluding Sabine, collectively groaned.

"Mmm, if I understand," Sabine said, "my chances of an actual vacation are slim to none."

"Yep," Nyota replied with a laugh. "On the other hand, your chances of some sort of bodily harm, probably during an away mission, are now through the roof."

"Luckily, we're medical. We're probably safe," Christine added, looking at Sabine warmly.

"But not if you keep kicking everyone's asses during rec time. Cupcake's gonna try to get you moved to security if you keep it up," Nyota noted.

"And once you get a security red shirt, you might as well write your own obituary and have it ready to go," Janice cracked.

"Where did you learn to fight like that, anyway?" Christine asked Sabine. Nyota observed once again that the doctor was uncomfortable.

"Where I grew up, we were all taught to defend ourselves," Sabine said simply. Something about her tone did not invite further questions. That didn't stop Nyota.

"You grew up in the western part of U.S. Africa, right?"

"Yes. Ivory Coast," Sabine replied, internally weary of this old lie once more.

Nyota felt a thrill go through her. She remembered a particular incident from the Academy in which the Ivory Coast had figured in. And there was the accent too, which had grown thicker with each drink.

"I suppose there are still some rough parts there," she said to Sabine, slowly nodding her head.

"There are," Sabine confirmed, not actually sure if that really was the case or not. She knew she needed to change the subject. "Anyone need something more to drink?" she asked, seeing that both Janice and Christine were almost done with their drinks.

"Yes!" Janice exclaimed. "Another Cardassian Sunrise, please!"

"And another cosmo for me," Christine chimed in.

"I'll come with you to help," Nyota offered.

"Okay," Sabine replied. The two women made their way to the bar. The officer's lounge was quiet. There were a couple of other groups seated at the other end of the room but it felt like they had the place to themselves.

"You don't like talking about yourself," Nyota observed as they waited at the bar for their drinks.

Sabine looked over at the other woman before answering. She was getting the sense that not much slipped past Nyota Uhura's radar.

"It is not my favorite, no," she confirmed.

"You're not the shy type," Nyota continued. "So what gives?"

"Everyone has something they prefer to not discuss," Sabine replied. "I prefer to not discuss my past. I would rather hear about those around me."

Nyota scrutinized her and Sabine wondered what the other woman was thinking.

"I like you," Nyota finally said. "But there's something lurking under the surface. You've got secrets. And there's nothing I love more than figuring out a good secret."

They were all a little tipsy at this point. The drinks they were picking up at the bar would be their third round. So it wasn't entirely surprising that the communications officer was being so frank about her interest in knowing Sabine's hidden truths.

"I promise you, I am not very interesting," Sabine replied, hiding the desperation she was feeling inside. "I think you would be bored to know the details of my life."

"Maybe…but maybe not," Nyota shot back. "Can I ask you another question? I promise, my last one for the night." She held her hand up to indicate her seriousness.

"Okay," Sabine sighed. She'd been having so much fun before the spotlight turned to her.

"When were you at the Academy?"

Sabine almost moaned in relief. This was an easy question. She didn't even need to lie.

"It has been about five years since I left," she replied.

"So you and I were there together," Uhura observed. Inside, she was giddy. McCoy had been there at the same time. She didn't know how yet, but Sabine was at the heart of the French mystery.

"I suppose we were. Funny how we did not meet till now," Sabine mused as the women carried drinks back to the table.

"Life has a way of putting people in the right place at the right time," Nyota replied. Sabine wanted to tell the other woman she didn't know the half of it but she wisely refrained.

The women continued to enjoy their drinks for the next couple of hours. Despite the momentary awkwardness she'd experienced, Sabine was glad she had accepted the invite to join the women for drinks. Increasingly, the Enterprise was feeling like home to her.


	88. Chapter 88

The music in the lab was loud; Sabine knew it. But it was Gamma shift and she had the door closed, with instructions to the skeleton crew in the med bay next door to alert her if they needed anything. Right now, her attentions were focused on sequencing the plant tissues Sulu had brought back from the last away mission. Their regenerative properties were not compatible with humans but they worked well with other beings, Vulcans in particular, and it would be a boon to Starfleet if she could successfully decode exactly how and why the plant worked to heal and how it managed to not only regrow its own tissues, but those of other species.

Extending from her life before the jump to Iowa through now, Sabine had found it easier to think with music. Living in one compound with so many other people at a young age had trained her to deal with a certain level of noise in the background of whatever she was trying to accomplish, but she had come to rely on music as a necessary component to any deep research she undertook. The louder, the better. But there was more to it than just a background filler. McCoy had pointed out to Cass once that the Betazoid ability to see emotions as colors reminded him of synesthesia and he hadn't realized at the time just how true his words were. Telepaths across species tended to exhibit some form of synesthesia. For Sabine, her form was tied to music. She saw songs in colors – each note had its own color and those colors blended together as a piece played. It was something she hadn't been aware was unique to her until she began talking to other kids at the Peacekeepers camp and realized she was the only one who saw music as a literal symphony of color. When she and Dinesh had bonded, he too began to see sounds in color and she gained his ability to see numbers and letters in color. So it made sense to her when Cass explained that emotions were color-coded and the more time Sabine had spent working with Cass, the more she had learned to identify emotions with their corresponding colors. If he hadn't been so reticent to interact with her, McCoy would have been fascinated with Sabine's synesthesia and her ability to adopt other forms over time.

She had gotten comfortable by kicking her boots off and was standing before a holoscreen, moving different sides of an equation around in an effort to determine the exact composition of the plant tissues on the lab table before her. The volume was turned up so high, Sabine hadn't heard the door behind her open. She swung her hips in rhythm with the song, concentrating on her work, almost oblivious to her own movements as she chewed the inside of her cheek, so close to getting the right compounds. Her shoulders shifted as she rolled her torso, with her arms swaying when she wasn't touching the screen to make adjustments. The answer was right there, just out of grasp. She raised her arm to her head in time with the beat to tighten her ponytail and brush a curl away from her eyes, flexing her wrist and flipping her hand out as she brought her arm back down. Then, she shimmied before resuming her full height.

McCoy was mesmerized. He didn't want to be – annoyance filled him as he tried to pull away from watching her but he could not stop staring as she gyrated to the tune. That short-skirted uniform was doing nothing to help pull his eyes away. Her lab coat and boots were in a pile on the floor across from her. He couldn't see her face – couldn't see her forehead wrinkled in concentration, her eyes squinting as she considered another option, but he could see her pointing and rearranging the formulas on the transparent screen before her. Clearly, she was working. But the dancing…it reminded him of a thousand indecent fantasies about her that had flooded his mind once she'd joined the crew – fantasies he'd been unsuccessful at forgetting. He needed her to stop. Even now, when looking at her filled him with a combination of anger and sadness, he couldn't deny that when she danced, she dripped sex.

"Is this recreation time?" he called out and she jumped, spinning around to face him.

"Fils de pute," she swore. "You scared the shit out of me." She blew an errant curl out of her eye. "Music off," she ordered the computer and silence filled the room.

"I thought telepaths could sense others around them," he countered.

"You thought wrong. We can sense other telepaths – that is all," she replied tersely. Truthfully, Betazoids could sense anything with emotions. But she wasn't a Betazoid and didn't feel like being generous to McCoy anyway.

"Didn't realize you were using your shifts to play around," he retorted, folding his arms across his chest and leaning against the wall as he gave her a hard stare.

"I am not playing around," she replied. "I am working. Music helps me think."

"That didn't look like thinking. Looked like dancing. And you're out of regulation," he added, looking pointedly at her bare feet. Her face flushed. Sabine had always been self-conscious of her feet. Years of dancing had ensured they were not the prettiest part of her body and if she'd known she was going to have company, she would've kept the boots on. But her insecurity was drowned out by her annoyance with the man in front of her.

"Are you going to write me up because I am the only one here and removed my boots? You never say anything when the nurses come in wearing noncompliant footwear or uniforms."

It was partially true. Occasionally, a nurse would come in wearing something other than the Starfleet-issued medical uniform and while McCoy never chastised them the way he was talking to Latour, he did ensure Chapel talked to them.

"I make sure everyone on staff knows the standard I expect them to uphold and if you're gonna be second in command in here, you need to set the example – regardless of the time of day," he had seen her objection coming.

"Fine," she mumbled, grabbing her boots and shoving a foot in one.

She glared up at him as he walked over to the screen she'd been working with. Once she had zipped her boots back up and resumed her full height, she looked at him expectantly. He was never up this late. That was the whole point of banishing her to this shift.

He turned to face her and then looked pointedly over at her lab coat, still on the ground.

"Really?" she complained.

He didn't respond verbally, but crossed his arms and stared at her.

"Fine," she huffed and mumbled something he couldn't understand as she picked up her coat and put it on.

"Is there a reason you are here besides to yell at me about my music and appearance?" Sabine didn't feel any need to bother with politeness – it was 3am and she was done with this shit.

"I couldn't sleep," he admitted. "I thought I'd see if you needed any assistance." He hadn't meant her specifically. Instead of tossing and turning, he'd decided to come to the lab to work on the plant samples, not realizing she'd be there already.

She scrutinized him for a moment, waiting for a smart remark about how she wouldn't have anything for him to assist with because she was too busy dancing. But instead, he studied the screen.

"You've done a lot," he allowed. "Looks like we're pretty close to figuring it out."

"Mmm-hmm, WE are," she responded, still irritated to have been caught and reprimanded when she'd been the only one to touch the samples since they'd arrived. He ignored her sniping.

"What's this?" he asked with genuine curiosity, pointing to one of her notes on the screen. Gone was any trace of criticism from his voice.

"I think the plant uses a form of synthesis for its regeneration, but not a light-based one like most plants we encounter," she explained. "I am trying to narrow down the options for what it is synthesizing."

"This is impressive," he replied. And McCoy meant it. In the span of a shift and a half, she had uncovered more than the usual researcher would in the span of a week. Jim had been right to bring her aboard. But he'd be damned if he'd admit it out loud.

"Thank you," she replied, equally sincere. Hearing the kindness in her voice brought a rush of unwanted memories back and he straightened up, taking a step away from the screen.

"Keep up the good work…but lower the music and keep your clothes on."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"My CLOTHES were all on," she replied hotly.

"Keep your shoes and your lab coat on. Be professional," he admonished her, irritated that she was arguing.

She looked like she wanted to argue with him a little more but instead she held her tongue, answering simply, "Yes, sir. Anything else?"

"No. That'll do," he said, turning and leaving the lab. When the doors shut behind him, she flipped the bird at them.

"Branleur! J'en ai marre de toi," she muttered before turning back to the screen.

"Computer, turn music on."


	89. Chapter 89

Every month the entire medical staff would meet to go over statistics, supplies, trainings and anything else deemed important enough to communicate to the entire department. McCoy hated both meetings just for meetings' sake and long meetings so he did his best to make sure med staff meetings were efficiently run and no more than an hour. Despite his own misgivings regarding Latour, she had immediately charmed the rest of the medical staff and he gladly turned the running of the monthly meetings over to her. She had the people skills to communicate more effectively with the whole staff and they were more willing to participate with her in charge. She also seemed to share his preference for quick meetings, always wrapping things up within the hour.

They were sitting in one such meeting, about three months into the maiden voyage of the Enterprise-A, when the red alert alarms started to flash and sound.

"What the hell?" McCoy muttered. Others at the table looked up in panic. For some of them, this was the first emergency situation they'd been in.

"Meeting adjourned," Sabine called out. "All hands to med bay." The room they met in was connected to the med bay and the staff filed out the doors, more experienced nurses and doctors partnering with the newer staff to show them what to do in an emergency. McCoy and Sabine were the last ones out of the conference room and she was standing in the doorway when the ship was rocked by what Sabine could only guess was a projectile of some sort. McCoy was standing an equal distance between Nurse Chapel and Sabine when a second object hit the ship, sending it careening to its starboard side, and he rushed over to Sabine without a thought, using his body to shield her as supplies and equipment tumbled around the bay. For a moment, she was startled by his sudden presence – his arms wrapping around her and his body pulling close to her own. But she came to her senses and attempted to shake him off. If she was going to stop everything in the room from hurling around, she needed a clear line of sight.

"No, let me go," she cried, pushing him off. "I must be able to see!"

He didn't understand what she meant till she scrambled out from his grasp and held her hands straight out in front of her, walking in a slow circle so she could see the entire room. In an instant, everything that had been flying around the med bay ceased to move. Shelves tilted at a 45 degree angle rested there. Hyposprays and drug containers floated in the air. With a deep breath, she moved it all back to its original places, righting shelves and beds – equipment too heavy for one person to move alone. She fixed everything with her mind. The other staff members watched in awe. McCoy winced. He'd seen her do this before – once – back at the Academy. She'd upended his living room in the midst of a nightmare and then righted it all when he woke her up. But moving a few items in one room of an apartment paled in comparison to what she was doing in the med bay. She did it so quickly, staff members could feel the breeze as items flew past them and into their proper locations. The ship righted itself at the same time Sabine dropped her arms, fatigued by the effort of reorganizing the chaos around her.

McCoy supposed it shouldn't surprise him that she could do this but he didn't have the energy to think too much about it because he could feel another one of those searing headaches coming on. They had gotten worse since getting back on the ship and he was starting to wonder if they were tied to spending extended periods of time in space. Jim seemed to have gotten over them – it had been years since he'd complained to McCoy about getting a déjà-vu headache. The weird thing was, many of the headaches he got these days had nothing to do with that weird déjà-vu feeling. They were triggered by stress. And no one stressed him more than the woman standing in front of him, catching her breath. He'd even taken to referring to them as Latour headaches because he swore, if he spent too much time around her, he got one.

"What the fu-" Chapel whispered softly. McCoy interrupted her.

"She's got telekinetic powers in addition to the telepathy," he explained, giving Chapel his hand and helping her up off the ground where she had fallen.

"You don't say," Chapel replied sardonically but McCoy had moved over to the ship's comm.

"Jim, what's happening?" he barked, after pressing the bridge button.

"Romulan Warbird just de-cloaked and fired on us," the captain replied, his voice riddled with stress. "Brace yourselves. They're getting ready to fire again and we're sitting ducks."

Engineering had been hit and McCoy sent a team down to assess the casualties as red shirts began pouring into med bay. He was so focused on handling the massive influx of new patients, he missed seeing Sabine run out of med bay after he ended his comm with Kirk.

"Where's Latour?" he demanded as he began splitting the injured into groups for each doctor to handle.

"She took off after you commed the bridge," Chapel replied. Unlike McCoy, she'd been unable to take her eyes off Sabine after the woman had singlehandedly saved the med bay from disaster. "Said something about being able to help."

McCoy cursed. He couldn't go after her yet. God help him if she got them into more trouble. In the back of his mind, he wondered why his first instinct had been to protect her. He could've run to Chapel. He liked Chapel a helluva lot more than Latour. But that hadn't mattered in the heat of the moment. He shook his head and worked to quickly divide up the engineering casualties among the doctors standing before him. They were lucky this attack had happened during a full staff meeting – med bay was ready to handle the numbers of injuries rolling in.

* * *

Sabine had never run so fast in her life and even so, she felt another blast hit the ship as she made her way up the turbolift to the bridge.

She ran out of the lift to the bridge doors, which opened automatically for her.

"Permission to come on the bridge," she demanded breathlessly.

Jim turned to her and nodded. She ran to his chair and he stood. "Latour, what are you doing here?"

"I can help, Captain. May I?"

"Sure," Jim said with no small amount of confusion.

"Impact in 5 seconds," Sulu warned as they watched a torpedo launch from the Warbird.

Sabine held her hands out and the torpedo stopped in its path, moments from striking the ship.

"Son of a bitch," Jim murmured.

"Holy shit," Uhura whispered at her station, watching the viewscreen and waiting for the torpedo to start moving again.

"Охуе́ть," Chekov said softly.

Even Spock raised an eyebrow in wonderment.

"They're launching another torpedo," Sulu warned. Like the rest of the bridge, he was confounded by what he was seeing but he knew he had to watch for the next move from the Warbird.

"Can you handle it?" Jim asked Sabine.

"I think so," she replied. In rapid succession, the Romulans launched two more torpedoes and then switched back to phasers. Sabine stopped all of the weapons launched at them, holding the torpedoes frozen in place while dissolving each phaser blast before it could reach the ship.

"Captain," she gasped, as she stopped another torpedo in mid-space, "I will not be able to keep this up much longer. What do you want me to do with the torpedoes I am holding? I do not have the strength to push them far enough away to avoid damage to both ships."

Jim conferred with Spock, an idea springing to him from her words. He then asked Uhura to patch him through to engineering. "Scotty, get to the transporter room now!"

"Aye, Captain," came the response.

Another torpedo was launched and Sabine held it still. She was now holding five torpedoes off of the ship. Phasers were still being fired intermittently and her nose started to bleed heavily as she dissolved them. She knew she only had a few minutes of consciousness left.

"Scotty, can you get a fix on the lifeforms aboard the Romulan ship and beam them into our brig?" Jim asked the engineer.

"Aye, Captain, but why?"

"Just do it," Jim ordered him. "And let me know when you've pulled all lifeforms from the Warbird."

"Yes sir," replied the Scotsman over the comm.

"Hang in there," Jim murmured to Sabine, his hand on her shoulder as she intercepted another torpedo.

McCoy rushed onto the bridge at that moment. He saw the torpedoes hovering in front of the ship on the viewscreen, saw Sabine with her hands in front of her, nose bleeding, and forehead wrinkled in concentration.

"Cap'n, we're good," Scotty said over the comms.

"Thanks, Scotty." Jim nodded at Sabine. "You know what to do. Uhura, open a ship-wide channel." The communications officer complied. "Attention, all decks. Prepare for imminent proximity damage."

Without averting her eyes from the viewscreen, Sabine moved her hands towards one another and made a "V" with them. All the torpedoes turned to face the Warbird.

"Jim, no!" McCoy yelled. "You can't let her kill the entire Romulan crew!"

Things between the Federation and the Romulans had been tense since the Nero incident and both sides were wary of starting another war like the one which had led to the creation of the Neutral Zone. While McCoy understood that the Romulans had fired first, he also knew that six torpedoes at one time would obliterate the enemy craft and that would be the take-away from this incident. No one would care that the Enterprise had been attacked without provocation. The Romulans would only remember that their ship and its crew were destroyed in an excessive and unexplained display of force.

As he spoke, Sabine pushed her hands forward and the torpedoes raced back to the Warbird. Within seconds, six torpedoes tore through the Romulan craft, destroying it in a ball of fire. The Enterprise rocked slightly from the shockwaves put off by the explosion but no further damage was made.

"What have you done?" McCoy shouted at both Jim and Sabine. She sank to the floor, exhausted.

"Bones, we evacuated the Warbird. All of its crew are here, in the brig. Right, Scotty?" Jim asked over the open channel to the transporter room.

"Aye, sir. All accounted for," Scotty replied over the comm. "Do ye mind if I return to engineering now? It's a mess doon there."

"Go on," Jim replied. "And thanks for the help." He turned to Sabine and crouched down before her. "You okay?"

"Fine," she mumbled. "Great." Jim stood up and gave her his hand to help Sabine up.

"Go back to med bay and take care of yourself," Jim said to her softly. "Thank you. You saved the entire ship."

"Just another day at work," Sabine replied as the room spun before her. She was dizzy and felt nauseous. She'd never pushed her abilities to this limit.

"Bones," Jim motioned to him. "Help her."

McCoy grabbed Sabine and took her arm around his shoulders. "Come on," he said gruffly. "You need to lie down."

They left the bridge together, Sabine allowing the other doctor to guide her because her vision wouldn't stop blurring. In the turbolift, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, trying to stop the intensifying wooziness she was feeling.

"I cannot believe you thought I would blow up a ship full of people," Sabine said in a low voice. She didn't know where McCoy was in relation to her but she knew he was in the turbolift with her. At his silence, she continued.

"Even if you think I am capable of such a thing, you must know Jim would never do something like that unless it was his only choice."

"I made a mistake," he replied quietly. "It looked like –"

"I know you hate me," she interrupted. "But I did not know your hate was so deep, you would believe me capable of mass murder."

Before he could reply, she sank down to the floor of the lift, this time unconscious.

* * *

Sabine awoke hours later in a medical bed. She took a moment to orient herself. The events of the day rushed back to her. She remembered McCoy throwing himself against her in the doorway, to protect her from falling shelves, remembered using her telekinesis to stop everything from falling apart in med bay then running to the bridge to stop more torpedoes from hitting the ship. And she remembered her conversation with McCoy in the turbolift before she passed out.

She looked around med bay to see who was there. Geoff noticed she was awake and came over to her bed.

"Easy does it," he cautioned as she sat up. "You put on quite a couple of shows today." M'Benga had known about her telekinetic abilities, had even seen her use them in the privacy of her own apartment on Yorktown. But what she'd done today had surpassed even his expectations. It was one thing to stop things from tumbling around med bay but holding off six torpedoes and however many phasers was a different beast altogether. And while McCoy had brought her back as a deadweight in his arms, the physical toll of what she'd done was minimal. Her body's ability to harness such incredible power was baffling.

"Guess the cat is out of the bag," she replied. While she had been very upfront about her telepathic abilities, she hadn't said anything to most of the crew about her telekinesis.

"You sure know how to share your secrets strategically," M'Benga teased her with a smile. "You're the talk of the ship right now."

"Are the Romulans okay?"

"Don't worry about them. They're fine. As fine you'd expect a group who tried to blow us up."

"They are still here?"

"Yeah. You've only been out a couple of hours. Senior officers are meeting with the Romulan command crew members right now. I'm guessing we'll be making a stop at a federation base soon to drop off our new passengers." M'Benga scanned Sabine as he spoke.

She sighed in relief. If senior officers were in a meeting that meant McCoy was gone. Sabine was in no hurry to see him. She felt anger rise up inside her as she remembered how he had yelled on the bridge, convinced she was killing a ship full of living beings. This wasn't the 21st century anymore. Humans avoided the unnecessary talking of life now. And she had been glad to adapt to modern thinking. Even if they would have been well within their rights to destroy a fully-manned ship that was trying to blow them up, Starfleet always sought peaceful resolutions to conflict – resolutions that would spare lives. Sabine believed wholeheartedly in what Starfleet stood for, even if she felt they didn't always live up to their mission. Jim's ability to quickly find a way for her to destroy the torpedoes without loss of life had made her proud of her choice to join the Enterprise. McCoy's words in the aftermath had stung. He was always going to assume the worst of her, no matter if the facts proved him wrong.

"Your life signs look good. I'm clearing you to head back to quarters," M'Benga said to her with a smile. "Try to get some sleep before your next shift."

"Thanks, Geoff," she replied, pushing the blankets aside and getting out of the medical bed.

She made it back to her cabin and sank into her own bed gratefully. For once, she had no worries about sleeping through the rest of Alpha shift. She was exhausted still.

When she woke to get ready for Gamma, her anger at McCoy awoke as well. At least she was clear on where she stood with him. Halfway through her trial run on the Enterprise, it was clear he didn't like her any more than he had at the start. And now, the feeling was mutual. Whatever good she had felt for the other doctor had rapidly disappeared in the short time they had served together. These days, she found herself irritated – both at him, and at herself for having ever cared so much for such a callous man.

* * *

The Romulan crew was released on one of the Federation bases skirting the Neutral Zone. From there, they would be returned to Romulan emissaries who had agreed to visit the base. While the Romulan captain and his officers had refused to discuss their motives for attacking the Enterprise, it was generally believed they had acted outside the wishes of the Romulan Empire, in hopes of inciting a war neither the Empire nor the Federation wanted.

For her quick thinking, Sabine was given a commendation by Captain Kirk. But McCoy remained skeptical. As the Enterprise was leaving the base, he and Jim met for drinks in Jim's quarters.

"You don't think it's strange that she's been sitting on those kinds of powers this whole time?" McCoy asked Jim with a cocked eyebrow.

"Bones, we knew she had telekinetic powers back at the Academy. It's not like this was a huge secret." Though even he could admit, he'd had no idea her powers were so great.

"Not like that. Jim, before she showed up on the bridge, she singlehandedly stopped med bay from being upended. Add to that the ability to hold six torpedoes stationary? And dissolve phaser blasts at the same time? She should be dead right now. But instead, she's walking around my med bay and I have to tell you, it makes me uncomfortable."

"It makes you uncomfortable because you look for any reason to dislike her. She saved our ship and you're acting like I should court martial her." Whatever unease Jim felt about Sabine's capabilities was tied to her health. He hadn't forgotten how her nose had bled during the Romulan crisis. He hoped she was as healthy as McCoy claimed.

"I just don't like the idea of some nuclear-grade weapon running around the ship, playing doctor. And another thing – why are all her files sealed?" McCoy had tried to get a look at her files after depositing her on one of the beds in sickbay because M'Benga had been tied up with engineering patients but he had discovered the file was locked. Previous to that moment, he hadn't cared about her medical history but not being able to see it filled him with more distrust.

"It doesn't matter to you why her files are sealed. All you need to worry about is whether she's doing her job down in med bay. If she is, then I don't want to hear any more complaints from you about Latour. Do I make myself clear?" Jim was annoyed.

"You're clear alright. But don't blame me if we all end up dead because of this."

"Jesus, Bones…" Jim sighed, trailing off and taking a long sip of his drink.

* * *

"Captain, may I have a moment of your time?"

"Sure, Spock. You don't have to be so formal about it, you know? You can just tell me you wanna talk."

Spock said nothing in response, simply arching an eyebrow at the other man.

Jim sighed. "Nevermind. I should know by now that getting you to do anything off the books is impossible."

"Is that something you would like, Captain? For me to be less adherent to the rules?"

Jim smiled at his first officer. "No. You're the one keeping me in line, right? Can't have you breaking all the rules too, can we?"

"I do not think we need to worry about that," Spock said with his customary Vulcan dryness.

He assumed Spock had only asked him about his preferences to point out the absurdity of a Vulcan not taking protocol seriously. What he didn't understand was that Spock was asking Jim about his preference in all sincerity. Jim's choice to make a joke about Spock acting too similarly to him had seemed like a rebuff to the Vulcan.

"What's up?" Jim asked, getting down to business.

"I have concerns regarding our ability to keep Doctor Latour safe. Now that her abilities have been displayed publicly, word will spread quickly. Furthermore, how are we to handle Doctor McCoy, should Command start asking about her background?"

"I'm one step ahead of you," Jim replied and Spock looked down at their feet in confusion.

"It's a colloquialism, Spock. It means I've already thought about what you're saying. I made two copies of my report about the Romulan attack – one will go to the admirals with clearance to access Latour's files – it will discuss the events as they transpired. The other report omits certain information regarding our telekinetic crewmate. It's available to all admirals."

"Are you sure it is wise to mislead Command?"

"It's what Command and I agreed to when we brought her on-board." Jim was mildly annoyed Spock was questioning his methods.

"My apologies, Captain. I should not have inferred you would take such actions without proper authority."

Jim gave the other man a smirk. "Well, this is me we're talking about," he replied.

* * *

"Sooooo….you can control torpedoes with your mind. Cool, cool," Janice observed as the four women met again for drinks a week after the Romulan incident. "Anything else we should know about?"

They hadn't even finished sitting down and already, Sabine was ready to call it a night. But what had she expected? Of course they were going to want to discuss what had happened. She took her seat and sat up straight.

"I am a telepath and I have telekinetic abilities. That covers the extent of what I can do."

Christine snorted. "Well, when you put it that way, it seems so simple."

"What would you have me say?" Sabine asked seriously. "How am I supposed to tell people what I can do when even I am not sure what it entails?"

"Wait. What do you mean?" Nyota asked, giving both Janice and Christine a look as they opened their mouths to comment. They both remained silent and she continued. "Did you not know you could hold back torpedoes?"

"Of course not," Sabine replied. "When would I have ever had the opportunity to try that before?"

"How did you know to try in the moment?" Janice asked.

"I do not know. I just felt like I needed to get to the bridge and once I was there, I would figure out what to do," Sabine answered thoughtfully, remembering her sudden dash out of the med bay.

"And in med bay?" Christine prompted her gently.

"That was different – I knew I could handle the supplies and beds and everything. I have had plenty of practice suspending items in midair and putting them back where they go."

"How so?" Christine followed up.

Sabine sighed. "I went through a phase where I would get horrible nightmares and, in my sleep, I would levitate furniture. I would wake up and everything in the room would be in the air. Over the course of a couple of years, I taught myself to control my telekinesis. Eventually, the nightmares went away. But I know how to handle a room full of floating items. That was not so hard."

The other women gazed at her appreciatively but even still, Sabine wished they were talking about something other than her. She always felt awkward taking credit for abilities she had not sought out or particularly wanted. Sure, she was glad she had them, and could control them, now. But for years, they had been nothing more than a source of pain and frustration.

"You're human," Janice said with a certain air of awe. "I don't think I've ever met another human with telepathy or telekinesis."

"Me either," Christine chimed in.

"Yep. You're the first telepathic/telekinetic human I've heard of," Nyota stated.

"I know," Sabine replied to them. "And I cannot explain why or how I have these abilities. I was born with them."

"I bet that was hard, when you were young. Kids can be so mean to anyone who's different," Janice responded, her thoughts on her own lonely childhood. She had been a star-gazer and a mathematics whiz surrounded by people who wanted nothing more than to work the land.

"It was not so bad," Sabine answered. "But it did leave me feeling like I was frequently on the outside of things."

"Isn't that funny?" Christine mused. "Here you are, the one person who can see into anyone and everyone's minds, if you wanted, and you felt left out. Sometimes, we humans make no sense."

"I would never do that though," Sabine said softly. When the other women looked confused, she clarified. "I would never read the mind of another person without their permission."

"Even when you were younger?" Nyota demanded. "I'll be honest – if I'd had your abilities as a teen, I would have been unmerciful."

"It always felt wrong to me," Sabine replied. "Like a violation of the most sacred place a person has – their own mind."

"Spock always says the same thing. Maybe beings with telepathy have it because they understand just how quickly it can be abused," Nyota commented.

"Perhaps," Christine responded. "But I'm pretty sure there are unscrupulous telepaths out there in the universe. We're just lucky we haven't met them."

The woman sat there contemplating the human condition, the ability to read minds, and the responsibility that came with such a power for a few moments.

"Well, I don't know about you guys but, frankly? I love that it was a woman who managed to save the ship this time," Uhura finally said.

"Right? It's about time one of us got recognized as a hero," Janice enthused. "We are the ones keeping this place sane, after all."

"If I were you, I'd do everything via telekinesis," Christine said to Sabine. "Next time McCoy gripes at you, just knock a hypo into his neck with your mind."

Sabine laughed. She would never actually do it but the idea of pelting her ex with common items from med bay every time he was rude to her held a certain appeal, if only in her imagination.

"Is he still being cranky with you?" Uhura asked.

"Of course," Sabine replied. She rushed to give a more detailed answer in an effort to keep the other women from asking too many more questions about why McCoy was so rude to her. "He sees me first thing in the morning before his coffee. It would be weird if he did not get surly with me."

"I don't understand why he has you on Gamma shift anyway," Christine complained. "You're second in command in there. You should be on Beta shift."

"Yeah, then we'd be able to hold dance practice more often," Nyota added.

"From your lips to some imbecile's ears," Janice mumbled.

The women enjoyed another hour or so of drinks and conversation before calling it a night. Sabine was relieved the other women had not pried her for more details. She really liked each of them and wanted to continue being friends. In a perfect world, she would tell them everything. But in this universe, she had to keep secrets as long as McCoy still couldn't remember the truth.


	90. Chapter 90

"I'm not sure what's going on between you two but I thought I should give you a heads-up – Cass is gonna be stopping by the ship for a couple of days," Jim watched Sabine's expression as he gave her the news. She remained neutral.

"Thank you for the notice," she replied. "But it hardly seems necessary."

Jim snorted. "Come on, Latour. It's clear you two are fighting or not talking or something. Both of you brush me off anytime I bring the other one up. And you get this look on your face whenever she's mentioned – same look you get before you punch me during rec time."

"I really am sorry about that," Sabine replied, trying to hide a grin as she thought about how she had taken Jim down in their most recent match.

"No you're not. And that's fine. Enjoy it. But don't tell me you and Cass are alright."

Sabine sighed. "Okay," she confessed. "We are not doing well. I have not spoken to her since shortly before I joined the crew."

"Why, if you don't mind me asking?" Jim had patiently been waiting for this conversation for quite some time now. He had a good idea of exactly why the two telepaths weren't talking but he wanted to hear it directly from Sabine.

Sabine shot him a look. "I found out about her and Doctor McCoy."

Jim paused before responding. He wasn't entirely sure what Sabine meant – there wasn't really a Cass and Bones. Cass had tried once to sleep with the doctor but it had been unsuccessful. Other than that, they had only ever been friends – flirty ones, but only friends nonetheless.

"So she told you about what happened in the bar on Risa, then?" he finally asked.

"Yes," Sabine answered tersely. She wasn't going to get into everything else. It wasn't Jim's place to get between her and Cass.

Jim sighed. "I was there, you know. Nothing happened. They got drunk. Too drunk for either of them to have seen through her ill-advised plan."

"Does that matter? She had a plan to begin with. That suffices, does it not?"

Jim realized this wasn't a topic he wanted to get involved in. He cleared his throat and redirected the conversation to his original point.

"Is it going to be a problem?" Jim asked. "Cass coming aboard? We've welcomed her from the start but I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

Sabine repressed a wry chuckle. Any more uncomfortable than she already was every time she had to interact with McCoy? But she knew what Jim needed to hear. She would never make the man choose between his friends.

"I will be fine, Jim. I promise."

Her answer seemed to satisfy the captain.

* * *

"C'mere, fucklechuck, it's been way too long," Cass murmured, pulling Jim in and hugging him closely.

"I know," Jim replied, hugging her back just as tightly. "When did you become such a stranger?"

They pulled away from one another and shared a wry smile. Behind Jim, McCoy cleared his throat.

"I didn't forget about you," Cass replied, giving the doctor a hug. He tolerated her hug, never one for too much affection displayed openly.

"Didn't think you had," he replied as she released him. "Just wanted to say hi before I head to med bay."

"Drinks later?" she asked as McCoy walked away.

"Of course," he called back. "My quarters, after Alpha shift wraps up. See you then."

Once he was gone, Cass turned to Jim.

"How's your experiment working out? He's still alive. Is she?"

"Both of them are alive. They just never talk to each other," Jim sighed, frustrated.

"You can't be surprised, right? You knew this was going to be almost impossible from the start."

"I don't know, Cass. I think they'll figure it out…it's just gonna take time." Jim kept telling himself that every time Bones came to complain to him about Latour. He wondered if he still believed it.

"And I know how much you hate waiting," she teased.

"Patience was never really my thing," he agreed. "But enough about that. How are you?"

The two friends walked out of the hanger and made their way to the captain's ready room, Cass filling Jim in on what she'd been busy with the past few months, including her search for Aubrey. Her sister had really decided to hide herself away this time and Cass was beyond annoyed.

When they were finally alone in the ready room, Cass sat down across from Jim.

"What's going on?" she asked. "You've got a very furrowed brow there and I'd hate to see a face that pretty end up wrinkled."

He rolled his eyes. "Look, I gave Sabs a heads-up that you were going to be here. And we talked a little bit about why the two of you aren't speaking. You okay?"

Cass groaned.

Jim looked at his friend and saw the pain in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I don't know the whole story so I'm not going to comment. I hope you and Sabine work things out."

Cass sighed. "Me too, Jim. Me too. It was a big mistake. But just so you know? I'm not the only one here who owes an apology. I'm trying to be patient, but the fact is Sabine made mistakes too."

Jim looked at his friend. Since recovering his memories and discovering Cass had been a part of Section 31, he'd realized there was more to her than met the eye. She and her sister were tight, despite their arguments and flippant insults. He knew Cass was hurting without Aubrey and she blamed the loss of her sister partially on Sabine. He didn't want to choose a side between the two women and he hoped they would resolve their issues sooner rather than later.

* * *

Initially, Sabine intended to remain inconspicuous while Cass was on board the Enterprise. She had decided she'd keep a low profile and hopefully, the two former friends wouldn't run into one another. Working Gamma shift finally came in handy because Sabine could claim she was sleeping during the day and no one would be any wiser. Instead, she curled up on her couch with her PADD, determined to read a couple of novels Adjoa had recommended to her. If she got hungry, she could always have her room replicator whip something up. There was no reason for her to venture out of her quarters (save for her work shifts) until Cass had departed. But then Nyota pinged her comm.

"Yes?" she answered.

"Hey, you wanna get in a quick session in the studio? It's open at 1300 hours."

Sabine would have loved nothing more than meeting Nyota and Christine for a dance practice but she didn't want to leave the room.

"I am not feeling so well," she replied. "I will have to pass today."

"You sure? You want me to stop by? I can bring you this soup Spock makes when I've got a cold. The smell will strip the inner lining of your nose and the taste isn't much better but it works."

"That sounds worse than being sick," Sabine replied and the other woman laughed. "I will be fine. Just need to rest."

"Okay, well, we'll miss you. Come on by if you change your mind."

The two women ended the comm. Sabine felt a tug at her chest. Why shouldn't she go to dance practice with the girls? Why was she hiding in her room when Cass was the one who had ruined their friendship? Sabine was tired of hiding and accommodating others. She deserved to live her life too. With that mindset, she left her room to meet the other women in the rec center at 1300 hours. And, of course, the first person she saw in the corridor was Cass. Sabine groaned. Of all the luck.

Cass stared at her uncertainly and Sabine lifted her head, determined to walk past the other woman without a word.

She was almost past Cass when the half-Betazoid softly said, "Sabs," and reached out to touch her arm.

"No," she replied, turning to face the other woman. "We are not doing this right now."

Sabine's glare froze Cass in place and she watched the doctor walk away.

"What was that all about?" McCoy asked softly, from the doorway of his quarters. He had agreed to meet Cass for lunch and they had stopped by his quarters on the way because he wanted to pick up a PADD to show her an article he thought she'd appreciate. He'd watched the entire interaction between the two women, though Sabine had been oblivious to his presence. Not that she would have acted any differently if she'd seen him.

"Don't ask," Cass sighed. "I'll tell you some other time."

* * *

Sabine let out a moan of frustration as she allowed the sonic waves to crash over her body back in her quarters after dance practice. She shouldn't have been such a bitch to Cass. She was angry at the other telepath still but that didn't mean Cass deserved to be chewed out for attempting to start a conversation. She should have let the other woman say her piece. Being on this ship and putting up with McCoy day in and day out was taking its toll on her. It wasn't Cass's fault McCoy was an asshole to her. She needed to stop blaming his shitty behavior on her former friend. The more distance she had from their fight on Yorktown, the more Sabine realized what a crappy position Cass had been in. She'd been forced to put her own feelings and desires aside and play intermediary between two former lovers while also trying to take care of another eleven people scattered across the galaxy. And then her own sister had complicated things by taking up with Sabine. She got it. She understood why Cass had been so mad at her.

What made less sense to her was why she was still so angry at Cass over a man she now kinda hated. Why did she care if Cass had feelings for McCoy? God knew, she was never going to get together with him again. And as she sank to the floor of the shower, tears falling out of her eyes, she realized that was why she was still mad. She was jealous of what Cass got to share with McCoy. She hated him but hate was only the flip side of love. If only she could make herself indifferent to him. Then she wouldn't care when Cass came aboard – wouldn't imagine what her conversations with McCoy looked like – what things she might tell him about Sabine, or the things she would listen to him saying about Sabine. But hate still drove her to care. And as long as she cared, she harbored resentment towards the other telepath.

* * *

"Is now some other time?" McCoy asked Cass later that evening, as she sat down on his couch with a glass of wine. He joined her with a lowball of bourbon.

"Huh?" she asked, confused.

"Earlier today, you told me you'd tell me about whatever's going on between you and Latour 'some other time'. Now seems good."

Cass sighed. "Okay, okay," she mumbled, setting her glass down. "We had a falling out."

"Clearly," McCoy observed wryly. "But why?"

Cass wasn't even sure where to start. "I found out she and Aubrey were dating – that they'd been together for a few years. And it pissed me off."

McCoy almost choked on his drink. "Latour is dating your sister?" he gasped.

"Was. She was dating Aubrey. They have since broken up. Aubrey cheated on her."

Cass didn't miss the quick grin that floated across McCoy's face and she could feel his satisfaction at knowing Sabine had now endured the same thing he had.

"Don't be a dick," Cass admonished her friend. "I know you think Sabine deserves to have her heart broken but no one does. And gloating over someone else's pain is not great."

"Sorry," he replied, somewhat abashed, though his feeling of satisfaction did not lessen. "But I don't get it. Today, she was mad at you."

"I know," Cass breathed. This was where things got trickier. "In my anger over her and Aubrey keeping their relationship a secret, I did something pretty shitty to violate Sabine's trust. She hasn't forgiven me for it." Cass was oversimplifying but it wasn't like she could explain to Bones why her failed hook-up with him would anger Sabine so much. Not to mention, she never wanted to discuss that night with him if she could help it.

"You violated her trust, huh?" he asked, curious. "Not gonna go into more detail?"

"No," Cass answered firmly. "As it is, what's happening between us is our business. She'd be furious to know I'm talking about this with you."

"Yeah, well, maybe she should take a good look in the mirror. If she wants to be furious at someone who violated another person's trust, she can start with herself."

"Bones," Cass replied, wearily, "I know how much you dislike her and I know why. But I'm asking you to put your anger aside. It was so many years ago."

"So there's an expiration date to heartbreak, is that what you want me to believe?" he asked her, almost savage in his response.

"No," she countered. "I know she broke your heart and I know how you are about trusting others, especially women. I also know she regrets it every day. I just wish you'd give her a chance to make it up to you."

"Not a chance," he replied bitterly, taking a large gulp of his drink. "Let's change the subject before we end up fighting too."

"Okay," Cass agreed. The two friends danced around other topics but when Cass had finished her drink, she stood to leave. McCoy was disappointed the night had taken an acrimonious turn but he was sick of people like Cass and Jim telling him how he ought to feel about Latour. He didn't understand why his closest friends couldn't see how painful it was for him to deal with her.

Once she left McCoy's quarters, Cass made her way over to Jim's room. The two friends talked about her conversation with McCoy and Jim shared his frustrations over the attempt to trigger McCoy's real memories. They talked late into the night.

* * *

Cass left the Enterprise after a couple of days on board but as she was pulling her cruiser out of the shuttle bay, she hit send on her PADD. She didn't know if she'd get a response to her message but she knew she needed to try.

Later that morning, Sabine checked her personal messages and came across Cass's note.

_You don't want to talk to me right now and I get it. I was pissed when I found out about you and Aubrey. She's been my role model since we were kids. I didn't know how to handle being left out of something as important as a long-term relationship between my best friend and my sister. I was worried, jealous, and a bunch of other shitty emotions and I handled it in the worst way possible._

_I really wish you had talked to me sooner about dating Aubrey. I don't know what she may have told you about our childhood – maybe she told you everything. But even if she did, I'm guessing she shrugged it off like it was no big deal. Sabs, it was a huge fucking deal. She is who she is today because of what happened when we were young. I wish I could have warned you before you went all heart-eyes on her. I hope I find her soon. This is classic Aubrey – when things get bad, she runs. You're angry with her and I sympathize – she shouldn't have cheated on you. I was a jerk to make you feel bad about how the break-up between you two went down. But I'm worried about her now. She makes crap decisions when she feels like she's on the ropes._

_Speaking of bad decisions, yes – I thought about sleeping with Bones. Turns out I can't do it because by the time I'm wasted enough to let myself be with him, I'm too wasted to have sex. I don't love him and he doesn't love me. You know why? Because he still loves you. You may not believe me – I know he's an ass to you but love does some stupid shit to people. He thinks you broke his heart and for that, he lashes out at you. Truth is, you're the only woman he'd ever let in. I hope you find a way in because I have never known two people who fit together as well as you guys – it's almost disgusting how perfect you two are for each other._

_Maybe I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make up to you one piss-poor decision I made in anger. I hope not. I'm sorry. I hope you'll forgive me someday (sooner than later), but even if you don't, just know that I am there. You know how to reach me._

Sabine stared at the message. She made a move to delete it but something stopped her. As angry as she still felt towards Cass, she knew the message was worth saving. And she couldn't ignore the stab of guilt inside her for having not told Cass sooner about her relationship with Aubrey. Cass was right. If she had been more forthcoming with the younger Pike sister, maybe she could have avoided where things ended up – including Cass's decision to sleep with McCoy.

She sighed. Nothing was ever easy. Relationships – of both the friend and lover varieties – didn't resolve themselves in neat bows just because apologies were made. She missed Cass as a friend but was still mad about their fights and the reasons behind them. Even if she no longer wanted anything to do with McCoy, she still felt justified in being upset that Cass had thought to sleep with him in revenge. She imagined Cass had similar complaints about her actions, even if she too missed Sabine. She grabbed her PADD. Things might not ever go back to the way they had been between the two women, but she knew she needed to make her own amends.

_Cass, I got your message. I am still angry even though I do not know if I should be. I felt like an ass the other day after I snapped at you. I despise McCoy but am still jealous that he treats you like a friend while he can barely stand to look at me. It hurts. I regret ever changing his memories and I have been blaming you for giving me the insight to do that to him. It is not fair to you – we were both trying to do the best we could to keep ourselves and our loved ones safe. I apologize for being so rude to you. Whatever problems I have with the fact that you attempted to sleep with him do not even matter. I have no claim to him as long as he and I detest one another._

_You are right that I should have come to you sooner about what was happening between Aubrey and me. I have apologized before and I offer my regrets again – I was wrong to keep my relationship with your sister hidden from you. Maybe I could have prevented all of this. But I did not and here we are. I hope you find Aubrey soon. If she contacts me, I will, of course, tell you immediately._

_I miss you. There are too many good memories in my head to keep carrying this anger around. The next time you come on board, let us find a moment to talk._

Sabine hit send before she started second-guessing herself.


	91. Chapter 91

Away missions were simultaneously the best and worst parts of being on the Enterprise. Some people, like McCoy, tried to avoid them at all costs. Others, like Jim, couldn't get enough of planet-side adventures. Sabine leaned much closer to the Jim side of the spectrum and it was one of the few positives McCoy could see to having her aboard. He no longer had to act as the medical personnel for an away mission when she was there and willing to step into his place.

For her first few away missions, Sabine was blissfully free from dealing with McCoy and his snide comments. And the missions themselves were exactly what she'd been craving – intrepid, without being deadly, and filled with meeting new beings on new (to the Federation) worlds. But during her fourth away mission, while exploring a cave on the class M planet Zylentac, Sabine and Cupcake got themselves into a bit a trouble. Spock had assured them the sensors indicated no life signs. But when had that stopped an unexplored planet from harboring life, and hostile life at that? Deep within the narrow tunnels of the cave, both crewmembers heard a stirring.

"Set your phaser to stun," Hendorff whispered to Sabine.

"Got it," she replied, equally softly. "My tricorder readings are off the charts. There is definitely life here," she added.

Hendorff rolled his eyes. "Of course there is. Stay behind me."

She complied happily.

Unfortunately for both of them, they had been surrounded by the local tribe, who knew the tunnels of the cave better than them. They were attacked from all sides and had Jim not shown up with two other members of security just in time, both of them would have been killed. Cupcake was fine, if slightly battered and bloodied, but Sabine was knocked out cold, having taken a club of some sort to the back of her head.

"Captain, we've got to get her out of here," Hendorff told Jim, looking worriedly at the unconscious doctor. He'd grown fond of her during their regular recreation time matches and he didn't want to see her name added to the list of fatalities suffered on away missions.

Jim tried to comm the Enterprise without success.

"We're too far down to get a signal," he replied to Cupcake. "Grab her and let's move back to the surface before our angry friends return."

And that was how Sabine woke up in Cupcake's arms, dazed, but still very much alive. In her hazy state of consciousness, she cuddled against the chest of the Enterprise's head of security.

"Nounours, where are we?" she asked.

"You don't remember?" he replied, worried the blow to her head had affected her memory.

"Zylentac…the cave," she said slowly as it came back to her.

"Good girl," he responded, giving her a look of affection. "You took a pretty mean hit to the back of your head."

"Mmm, I can feel the knot," she grimaced. "So much for being safer behind you."

They made it to the surface and the Enterprise beamed them back aboard. McCoy was filled with piss and vinegar when Cupcake and Sabine showed up in med bay, and he discovered she needed scans. M'Benga was in surgery so he had no choice but to take care of her himself.

"You're the medic," he complained while scanning Sabine. "You're supposed to be keeping everyone else safe, not leading the charge."

She rolled her eyes. "Please," she snapped. "Like you have never had an away mission go sideways before."

McCoy glared at her and Hendorff rushed in to defend Latour. "Doc, it wasn't her fault. I was leading the way but they had us surrounded –"

"Save your breath, Nounours," Sabine said tiredly. "You will not convince Doctor McCoy of a lack of fault on my behalf anytime soon."

"What'd you call him?" McCoy growled at her.

"Nounours – she said it means teddy bear. It's her nickname for me," Hendorff said, a touch of pride entering his voice.

"You already have a nickname. Wasn't Cupcake good enough?" McCoy muttered.

"Oh, for fuck sake," Sabine exploded, trying out a phrase she had heard so many others use. "Why do you even care? It is exhausting listening to you bitch and moan about my every action. Go away or, at the very least, keep your damn comments to yourself," she demanded loudly, her patience completely evaporated by the day's events.

Both McCoy and Hendorff stared at her. Usually, it was McCoy taking people's heads off in med bay. Few had witnessed Sabine losing her cool before now. She didn't care. Her head hurt, she was covered in cave dirt, and she wanted to be in the peace and quiet of her own quarters.

"Are we done here?" she asked McCoy testily.

He nodded and moved away from her, his own temper barely contained. He'd have words with her later about making a scene in front of the staff. But at that moment, she hopped off the bio bed and moved to return to her quarters. Hendorff followed after her.

"You okay?" he asked in concern.

"Yes. Just really tired," she replied. And she was. Not just physically, but she'd reached a breaking point of how much McCoy she could handle.

* * *

She had known there would be a reckoning for losing her temper with McCoy in front of everyone in med bay. She had not anticipated it would come in the form of McCoy accompanying them on the next away mission. He had already chewed her out once in his office for raising her voice at him on the floor and it had been all she could do to not point out how often he yelled at others – staff and patients alike, when he was on duty. Instead, she'd silently withstood his reprimands, internally annoyed at his hypocrisy and how much enjoyment he was taking from dressing her down. Sabine had assumed that lecture would suffice as punishment for her flippant words but no. The true punishment was having to put up with him during an activity she'd previously seen as McCoy-free.

What Sabine didn't realize was that Jim had insisted McCoy join them on this mission. For several weeks, Jim had listened to Bones bitch about Latour and how she shouldn't go on anymore away missions and he'd finally snapped, deciding he would make both doctors go on the next mission. His reasons were two-fold: first, he was irritated at Bones and knew his friend would be pissed at having to go on an away mission, especially if Latour went too. But secondly, and only slightly more importantly, he was sure McCoy would see Latour's efficiency and ability to protect herself and others, and finally shut up about keeping her off missions. Spock thought his plan was impulsive, error-filled, and inefficient because the mission certainly didn't require two doctors, but he let the captain carry on because there were times you just had to let Jim be Jim.

The away party gathered in the transporter room. It would be Jim, Spock, Hendorff, Sabine, and McCoy. The mission parameters seemed easy enough – they had been requested by Starfleet to check the progress of a civilization on Sigma Iotia II that had been discovered some 100 years beforehand. The civilization had not yet been integrated into the Federation and first contact had occurred before the Prime Directive had gone into effect so there were questions all around about what they should expect when they beamed down. But no one expected hostility. The leader of the civilization had invited the captain to come to the planet's surface, assuring Jim a "reception committee" would be there to greet him. According to the information they had on the Enterprise, the Iotians had just begun industrializing when contacted by the Horizon over 100 years earlier. So the group beamed down to Sigma Iotia II, intent on discovering just how much progress the Iotians had made since first contact.

But this was the Enterprise and nothing ever went as smoothly as expected. Upon landing, the entire away party was surrounded by men in zoot suits with tommy guns.

"Is this how they say 'hello' here?" Hendorff whispered as the party closed in on itself and each person stared down the barrels of several guns pointed at them individually.

"If it is, I don't like it," McCoy replied.

"Fascinating," Spock commented.

Sabine remained silent but she took in their surroundings – a yellow fire hydrant, women walking around in 1920s era clothing, motor cars, small mom & pop shops, and men carrying around machine guns that hadn't been used in hundreds of years on Earth. She'd traveled back in time enough to recognize the era. Before anyone could make a move towards the landing party, she stepped behind Hendorff and did something women have been doing since the dawn of time – she hid her valuables (in this case, her phaser) in her bra. She didn't know what was going to happen but she was certain the one thing she didn't want to be without was a weapon.

"Okay, everyone petrify – that means you too, gams. Come out from behind your friend with your hands up high in the sky. All youze guys get your hands up where I can see 'em." The apparent leader of the gang that surrounded them spoke with a distinct mannerism that confirmed to Sabine they had landed on some bizarre gangster-ridden planet.

"Sir, would you mind explaining your statements, please?" Spock inquired and inside, Sabine cringed. She hoped his Vulcan curiosity and logic wouldn't get them all killed.

"I want you to turn to stone. Now put your hands over your heads or you ain't gonna have no heads to put your hands over." While he spoke, the landing crew did as told and men stepped forward from the gang to remove all of their phasers and communicators.

"Hey Kalo, legs here ain't got one of these," one of the henchmen noted to the leader, holding up a phaser and nodding his head at Sabine, who had just handed over her communicator.

"That's a weapon," Jim warned. "Be careful with it."

"A heater, huh?" Kalo replied. "The boss will love that." He approached Sabine, looking her up and down. "I think he'll be pretty pleased with you too."

"Wait just a second," Hendorff said angrily as Kalo pulled Sabine away from the rest of the party. Several members of the reception committee closed in on him and he backed down. Sabine shot him a look.

"How do I know you ain't packing heat?" Kalo asked Sabine, making a motion to pat her down. She jerked away from his reach.

"I do not think your boss will be very happy if you sample the goods before he does," she replied. Kalo looked at her harshly before breaking out in a laugh.

"I like you. You got spunk," he said.

Before anyone else could say anything, a car came hurtling around the corner and all the men who had been holding the landing party hostage dived for cover. Jim yelled for his own people to take cover as well. Gunfire rang out along the intersection and several of the henchmen were shot. The car drove off and everyone sprung to their feet, the remaining henchmen moving quickly to corral the landing party.

"Is this how you greet all your guests?" Jim demanded of Kalo, who had grabbed Sabine by the arm and was dragging her with him.

"It happens, pal," Kalo replied.

"Those men back there are dead," McCoy said, disgusted with the lack of attention that was being paid to the loss of life.

"Yeah? We ain't playing for peanuts. What's the matter, you guys never saw a hit before?" Kalo seemed incredulous.

"Sir, there are several questions I would like to ask," Spock interjected.

"Ask the boss," Kalo replied. "I don't know nothing. Get moving," he said, motioning for all of the men of the landing crew to follow him and Sabine, whom he had not released his grip on. The henchmen followed behind the landing party as they all walked down the street.

Cupcake leaned over to Jim. "I think we discovered the effect the Horizon had on these people."

"I don't get it," Jim replied. "The Horizon crew wasn't composed of cold-blooded killers. They didn't report this culture in this state either. What happened?"

* * *

It didn't take long for the landing party to figure out what had happened. The Iotians had been contaminated by a book left behind from the Horizon – a book on the gangs of 1920s Chicago. An entire civilization had sprung up from that book. A civilization that now wanted to shake the Federation down for as many phasers as they could get in exchange for the lives of the landing party. Sabine was taken to the boss and, even though he didn't care for her short skirt, he liked her well enough to give her a change of clothes and set her up in his house. She didn't like being separated from the rest of the party, who were being held in a warehouse around the block, but she bided her time, waiting for the moment she could sneak away to the warehouse unnoticed. She still had her phaser on her and she acquired a knife, which she hid in a garter belt on her upper left thigh.

Unfortunately for Sabine, by the time she was able to slip away from the boss's mansion and into the warehouse, Kirk and the rest of the landing party had escaped. Moreover, she walked in just as the henchmen they had knocked out in their escape were coming to. She had to quickly duck and hide as the henchmen scrambled to their feet and took in the abandoned warehouse.

"We're in it now, boys. We gotta find those Feds before the boss gets wind of this," Kalo said to his men.

The henchmen rushed out of the warehouse and spread out, searching the streets for the escaped members of the landing party. Sabine sighed, wishing she'd managed to keep her communicator too. Now she was going to need to sneak back to the mansion and see if she could reroute the radio in her room to contact the Enterprise. These kinds of technological tasks had never been her forté.

In the meantime, Jim had ordered Spock and McCoy to find them some clothes for blending in while he and Cupcake looked for Sabine. First thing Jim did was to hotwire one of the cars. It took him a minute to figure out the old three-on-the-tree manual transmission but he had the baby purring in no time.

"Come on, Cupcake. We've got ourselves some transportation."

"And we've got the clothes," they heard a familiar, cranky voice behind them call out.

The two men turned to see Spock and McCoy already in their zoot suits. They handed two suits to the captain and head of security, as well as two tommy guns.

"Do I want to know how you got these?" Jim asked.

"You can believe it was more humane than what we encountered when we got here," McCoy growled, still angry that he'd watched all those men die without being allowed to offer assistance.

"I used a nerve pinch," Spock explained. Jim smiled.

"Whatever works. Let's go, fellas. We've got a crew member to rescue and a civilization to straighten out."

"Don't make it sound so easy," McCoy grumbled, tugging on the collar of his shirt and his tie. "I hate this get-up," he mumbled.

* * *

The four men of the landing party walked into the boss's mansion and found Sabine sitting on the boss's desk, legs crossed and her phaser aimed at the boss. Around them, several men lay on the ground, stunned. Jim, Cupcake, Spock, and McCoy hid outside the boss's office, peeking around the door to watch Sabine negotiate with the boss.

"Now, you listen to me, sweetie-pie," Sabine said to the boss in a passable imitation of a gangster's moll. "You ring up my ship and tell 'em to cancel that order of heaters, you hear? Then you tell your boys to find my pallies, you got that?"

Jim fought back a laugh and turned to the men with him. "I don't know, guys. Should we interrupt or just let her handle things from here?"

McCoy rolled his eyes. "Let's get on with this. I'm tired of playing dress-up." He didn't like the way his body responded to seeing the other doctor all dressed up in civvies, even outdated ones. While he could grudgingly admit that she had things well in hand, it wasn't her efficient, take-charge attitude that was causing the familiar twitch in his pants. Goddamn her for being too attractive for her own good.

"Killjoy," Cupcake whispered.

Spock listened as the boss attempted to pacify Sabine. "You don't understand, dollface. They're gonna put the bag on your captain and his friends if we don't find them first."

"What does he mean – why would someone attempt to put a bag on us?" Spock asked the group.

"He means kidnapping, you idiot," McCoy muttered.

"Look, you guys got something I want. I can help you get your captain back before one of the other big men gets him and scrags him," the boss pleaded with Sabine, who feigned bored indifference while never lowering her phaser.

Jim looked at the rest of the group. "Scrags?"

"If I understand correctly, that would seem to be a bad thing," Spock replied.

"There are multiple bosses too," Jim murmured, putting together the conversation. "This guy is afraid we've been caught by one of the competing bosses. I've got an idea!"

"I'm gonna hate this, aren't I?" McCoy groaned.

"Spock, come with me. You two – go in there and secure this place with Latour," Jim said to Hendorff and McCoy.

"Jim, where're you going?" McCoy hissed.

"I'm putting an end to this gangster-land once and for all," Jim replied. "Now go – that's an order!"

Jim and Spock took off and McCoy looked over at Cupcake with a look of supreme discomfort.

"Alright, Doc. Follow me, okay?" But before they could make another move, they both felt tommy guns against their backs.

"Hands up high, gentlemen, where we can see 'em," Kalo said. "Nice and easy-like."

"Goddammit," McCoy muttered, nonetheless doing exactly as told. Hendorff followed suit and both men were led into the office.

"Hey boss," Kalo began, trailing off when he realized Sabine had her phaser to the boss's head.

"Nobody make a stupid move or he gets it," she threatened Kalo and his silent partner.

"So, you gonna drill him?" Kalo asked Sabine. "Cuz, ain't no skin off my back if you do. That'll just put me in his place." The boss cursed. Sabine caught Hendorff's eye and he gave her a small nod.

"I will not drill anyone," Sabine spat, turning her phaser from the boss to Kalo. "But I will stop you from making another move."

Before another breath could be taken, she pulled the knife from her garter with her free hand and threw it at the silent man holding Hendorff. He ducked and Hendorff used the distraction to punch him in the stomach. Simultaneously, Sabine yelled at McCoy to duck but he didn't respond to her, either because he was just so accustomed to ignoring her or because he was caught up in all the activity happening at once. Sabine made a frustrated noise and took aim at Kalo, doing her best to avoid McCoy. In a moment, Kalo had fallen to the ground, stunned.

"Christ, Latour, you almost hit me," McCoy cried out, still feeling the heat from the phaser beam along the side of his head.

"I told you to duck," she replied curtly. She turned to the man next to her, who McCoy realized was frozen in place. With a blink of her eyes, the boss began sputtering.

"What the hell was that? What'd you do to me? Just what kinda broad are you?" he angrily asked Sabine.

"The best kind possible," Hendorff replied, having subdued his would-be captor. Sabine shot him a grateful smile.

"No more questions from you," she replied to the boss. She turned to her crewmates. "Where are Jim and Spock?"

"Who knows? Jim has a plan," McCoy said, thoroughly exasperated. Sabine came up near him and looked at his head, to determine if she'd grazed him. He let her examine him.

"You are fine. No mark," she said quietly. "Next time, listen when I tell you to move."

Their eyes met. For once, Sabine saw something more than annoyance in his eyes. She looked away, her cheeks growing pink.

"If we're lucky, there won't be a next time," he groused. "I don't want to go on these damnable missions. You can have 'em." He tugged at his tie again.

Sabine would never admit it out loud but she thought he looked damn good in the period clothes. It was a shame they always wore uniforms because one thing she remembered from the Academy was that McCoy wore civvies well. She shook her head, annoyed with the path her mind had gone down. The fact was, the man was a jackass, his handsomeness notwithstanding. The only thing that had kept her from hitting him when she took out Kalo was that if she had gotten McCoy, he would've had her thrown off the ship, whether it had been an accident or not.

* * *

In the end, Jim gathered the other bosses and convinced all of them to work as a syndicate, giving a chuck of their profits to the Federation. He'd had a great time pretending to be the Federation heavy and it had taken everything in Sabine and Cupcake not to howl with laughter. Spock had deep reservations to Jim's plan but he had acquiesced, seeing no other way to handle the state of affairs on Sigma Iotia II.

The more important upshot, as far as Sabine was concerned, was that Jim agreed to continue allowing her to serve as the medical representative on away teams, promising McCoy he could stay on the ship, unless it was necessary to have both doctors present, as it occasionally was.

Back in med bay, the two doctors continued ignoring one another, save a brief spat one morning as Sabine was about to sign out.

"Your boyfriend's out there waiting for you," McCoy said irritably to her as he came into the office to grab his lab coat. She was finishing patient reports.

"My boyfriend?" she asked in confusion.

"Cupcake. Teddy bear. Whatever you call him."

Sabine rolled her eyes. "He is not my boyfriend, you ass," she muttered, taking her own lab coat off.

"Sure coulda fooled me," McCoy huffed. She spun to glare at him.

"He does not like women that way. He has been with his partner for over six years now," she retorted. "Maybe you would know those kinds of details if you were not always such a jerk to everyone."

McCoy knew well enough that Cupcake wasn't interested in women. Hendorff was a regular member of the poker night group and McCoy had met his partner on shore leave before. He wasn't exactly sure why he was provoking Latour like this. He knew she didn't deserve it. But he was jealous of how quickly she'd found friends on board the Enterprise. Even at his best, he was prickly and here she was, getting close with anyone and everyone. And no one, besides Jim, knew what she'd done – how coolly she could lie and hide things when she wanted to.

They glared at one another for a minute before she turned around and gathered her things to leave. "Why do you care anyway?" she snipped.

"I'd hate to watch someone else go through what I did," he said simply before exiting the office to make his rounds. She stared at him as he left, unreadable emotions on her face.

"C'est vachement un trou de cul, celui-là," she finally grumbled under her breath, walking to meet Hendorff at the entrance of med bay.


	92. Chapter 92

"We're not actually together, you know," Nyota said as Sabine refilled her glass of wine.

"Really?" Sabine replied in surprise.

"Yeah. We actually broke up right before docking at Yorktown – this was pre-Altamid. And after that whole adventure, we didn't really get back together but we did kinda start – I don't know – dating's not the right word. Hooking up, I guess. It's more of a friends-with-benefits thing? But good luck explaining that phrase to a Vulcan."

Sabine giggled. "What does he think it means?"

"I used it once when we were talking about what we are now and he got this look on his face – you know the one – Vulcan confusion face. Anyway, he was like, 'Don't all friendships imply a benefit to the parties involved?' and I said, 'Okay then, we can call it fuck buddies.' But that didn't go over well either."

This time, Sabine let out a full-on laugh. "Oh no! Poor Spock!" She stopped chuckling at looked over at Nyota. "Does it bother you? Not being together?"

"It did at first. But I'm okay with it now. Truth is, I was never gonna be his t'hy'la, you know? And for now, he's a good friend and an occasional great lay. We go through stretches where we'll spend several nights in a row together and it's almost like we're a couple again. But there's something missing. We both realize it. I think we just like that it's comfortable and familiar being with one another. But if he came to me tomorrow and said he couldn't be anything other than a friend to me, I'd be fine with that. I mean, clearly, he's gonna come around and accept who he's attracted to one of these days."

Sabine gave Nyota a quizzical look and Ny realized the poor girl had no idea what she was hinting at. But then, she wouldn't, would she? Even though McCoy and Chapel were a couple of the biggest gossips Nyota could think of, and the sparks that flew every time Jim and Spock were around each other had to be one of the hottest items of discussion on the ship, Sabine was never really there to hear about it – such was the curse of Gamma shift. Oh well. She'd have to explain Spock and Jim's poorly hidden attraction to one another some other time – tonight, she had bigger things to uncover.

"How did you two start dating in the first place?" Sabine asked Nyota.

"I was in his Intro to Xenolinguistics class my second year at the Academy," Uhura said, pausing to take a sip of wine. "It was one of those huge classes, you know? I was so annoyed they hadn't let me opt out of it so I rarely attended."

Sabine nodded. She remembered the huge intro classes, always held in auditoriums, with fewer and fewer classmates attending as the semester progressed. She took a sip from her own wine glass. Tonight, it was just her and Nyota, in her quarters, sharing drinks and stories. The meet-up had been Ny's idea but now that they were there, buzzed from a few drinks already, Sabine was happy she'd agreed to meet.

"What happened?" she asked as the other woman paused.

"Well, one day, I was all set to skip class like normal, but one of my friends reminded me it was the midterm."

"Yikes."

"I know, right? I came this close to failing out of a stupid intro course. Anyway, I show up, and sit down to take the midterm. And I'm looking for the instructor at the front of the room, but the only person there is this kinda handsome Vulcan."

"You did not know he was Vulcan before then?"

"Honestly, no. Previous to then, he'd always worn his uniform hat to class and I'd ignored him even when I did show up– read articles on my PADD or did assignments for other classes."

"But he was pretty well-known on campus. There were not a lot of Vulcans running around the Academy."

"I know that now. At the time, I was just like, 'Oh hey, a Vulcan!' I really didn't think much of it till he started telling everyone to take their seats so the midterm could be given. That voice! I recognized it instantly as the one I'd been trying to ignore all semester-long. And then I was like, 'How have I been blowing off this class when it's taught by this hottie?'"

Sabine laughed. "It is so funny to me that you were smitten with him right away."

"What? He's cute!"

"To each her own," Sabine replied, refilling both women's glasses.

"Yeah, well, anyway. So I finish the midterm – I'm one of the last people in the room to hand it in. And I approach Spock to give him the PADD with my answers on it. As I hand it to him, he looks me over and says, 'How thoughtful of you to attend class today.' And my jaw hits the floor. But it gets worse! Because then he adds, 'Even more pleasant of you to not be distracted by articles on your PADD or work for other classes.'"

Ny paused to look at Sabine and the other woman gave her a clear 'tell me more' look.

"So I'm like, 'Shit. I've been caught. I'm gonna hafta retake this class.' But instead of just apologizing, I mouthed off to him."

"You did not. What did you say?" Sabine was enjoying the visual of Nyota getting sassy with Spock.

"I stood up straight and was all, 'Do you always pay such close attention to all 150 students in this class?' And he replied, 'No, just the inconsiderate ones.'"

"Holy crap, Ny!"

"I know! But it gets even worse! Or better? Who knows?"

"Mmm, did you insult his ears next?"

"Not quite. I asked him if he was going to fail me and he said he would read my midterm first before making any decisions. And I was like, 'Well, it's really good. You're not gonna fail me based on my midterm.'"

"You have some balls," Sabine said appreciatively.

"I guess? Anyway, after that, I attended every class. Got fairly good marks on the midterm, but I went to his office hours to quibble over some of the things he marked me down for. And from there, we just started spending more and more time together. I'd show up for his hours with "questions" and then we'd talk the whole time. Finally, after one office hours session, he asked me if I would like to accompany him to dinner. And the rest is history."

"I love it," Sabine sighed, getting up from the couch. Uhura saw her chance.

"Et toi?" Nyota asked Sabine. "As-tu une histoire à partager?"

Sabine had been heading to her kitchenette to put the empty bottle of wine in the recycling when Uhura began speaking to her in French but she rapidly turned around and stared at the other woman.

"Comment?" she asked softly. "Comment sais-tu parler français?"

"I think the more interesting question is how do YOU know how to speak it," Uhura answered.

Sabine stared at Nyota dumbfounded for a moment until something in her mind clicked. There was a reason Ny had always looked a little familiar to her. She thought back to the Academy, to the night she had changed all Leo's memories. She remembered how she'd left his memories of meeting with a communications cadet untouched, because Cass had told her Section 31 knew about the meetings. That cadet was the woman sitting in her quarters. And that woman had put two and two together. She knew Sabine was the reason Leo had asked her for help.

"How did you figure out it was me?" she asked softly, sitting back down on the couch. She wondered what Nyota would do now. Had this all been a game – all the dance practices and girls' nights out? Was she really the friend Sabine had assumed her to be? As if reading her mind, Ny reached out and put her hand on Sabine's knee.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. You're pale as a ghost right now. I just wanted confirmation that it was you. You're the one Len came to me about all those years ago."

"I am," Sabine said numbly.

"Tell me about it," Nyota pressed her gently.

"Tell you what? How I speak French? Why he came to you confused? What do you want to know?"

"All of it," Nyota replied. "Look, you can trust me. We're friends. I don't want to hurt you or get you in trouble. I just want to understand what happened. You always brush it off when Christine mentions how mean Len can be towards you. Is it because of what I shared with him? Did I ruin things between you two?" Nyota looked at Sabine with worried eyes.

"No, no," Sabine gushed, rushing to assure her friend. "No, you had nothing to do with our break-up." She hesitated. A part of her wanted to tell Ny everything. It was so tiresome keeping it all a secret from everyone but Jim and Spock. And Spock didn't count because their conversations always veered away from emotional topics. If Nyota knew, she'd have another resource, right there on the ship, to help her cope with McCoy's alienating behavior. But could she trust Nyota? Would Ny tell the other girls?

"If I tell you," she began, cautiously.

"I won't tell another soul – not even Spock."

"He knows," Sabine replied feebly.

"I figured but he's never said anything to me about you. And I'll never say anything to him – or anyone else. I promise."

"It is a lot," Sabine warned her friend. "My story will sound made-up to you."

"I'll believe whatever you tell me," Nyota replied fiercely.

Sabine looked at the other woman intently. "Do you want me to tell you or show you?" She held up her hand.

"Show me," Nyota responded quickly, bringing her hand up to Sabine's. Sabine could control herself now in ways she'd only dreamed of in the Academy. She didn't need to warn Uhura that a partial meld would hurt because she'd learned to meld without hurting the other being. Still, for her own curiosity, she asked the other woman one final question.

"Have you done this with Spock before?"

"A couple of times. You know how Vulcans can be about this kind of thing though."

Sabine nodded. "Shall we begin, then?"

* * *

A minute later, Sabine released Nyota's hand from her own and the two women sat back on the couch. For her part, Sabine was slightly tired from having shared so much with another person. Meanwhile Nyota took a moment to absorb what her friend had just shown her.

"Wow," she mumbled. "What is it about this ship and time travelers?"

Sabine gave her a confused stare and she clarified.

"I mean, I figured it was something along these lines – how else would you speak French, right? But first it was Nero, then we had to deal with Khan, and I suppose Krall wasn't really a time traveler, but being in the Franklin felt like going back in time," she explained, and then, seeing the look on Sabine's face, she rushed to add, "Of course, you're not a bad guy! Sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound –"

"I understand," Sabine interrupted. "It is weird how often time displacement is an issue…"

"But that's not what matters," Ny responded. "What matters is you're here, which I'm personally thrilled about. So what are we gonna do about Len?"

"What can we do?" Sabine asked in return.

"Can't we somehow get him to remember what actually happened?" Nyota asked, her pragmatic mind already thinking about how to solve the problem before her.

"There is nothing I can do. And it would be wise for others to avoid trying to trigger him as well. Memory replacement is a dangerous activity. If he does not recover his hidden memories on his own, he could become paranoid and suspicious regarding all his recollections. In the worst cases, it can lead to insanity," Sabine answered softly. "If I could do it all again, I would not have messed with his memories. I would have tried to find another way to keep him safe."

Nyota reached out and grabbed Sabine's hand. "You did what you thought was best," she said soothingly.

"Yes, but now we hate one another."

"Do you? Do you really hate him? And do you think he hates you? I don't. I think he's hurt. And scared because deep down, he still cares about you." Ny looked at the other woman with a mix of sympathy and hope in her eyes.

"I think he will never trust me again and I cannot blame him for that. You saw what I did. I played on his biggest insecurity – he was always afraid I would leave him for someone else and I made that a reality in his mind."

"But he agreed to it! You told him what you were going to do and he let you!" Nyota didn't want Sabine to carry so much guilt around with her.

"Does it count when he does not remember giving me permission? I did not ask his permission in the same trip that I changed his memories."

"That's just a technicality," Nyota scoffed. "Trust me, we never worry about those here unless we're trying to find an excuse to break a rule." She smiled at the other woman. Sabine gave her a tentative smile in return.

"And speaking of technicalities, I get that he has to remember the truth for himself…but is there really no way to kinda give him a nudge in the right direction?"

Sabine sighed. "I do not know," she admitted. "I am inclined to avoid pushing him too much. We are not friends but I really do not want his possible insanity on my conscience."

"Maybe we need to focus on just getting the two of you to be civil to each other?" Nyota mused. "Maybe it's too much to push for him to remember the truth when you're both pretty bitter towards each other."

"Is it that obvious I do not like him?" Sabine asked, agitated.

"Not really. Christine thinks you're some kind of saint because you don't bad-mouth Len more often, given the way he's treated you. But I definitely get the impression he's not your favorite. Makes a lot more sense now that I know the back story."

"He was my favorite at one point," Sabine sighed sadly.

The women sat in silence for a moment, each lost in her own thoughts. Sabine finally spoke again.

"I should not be as hard on him as I am," she replied, "because he cannot help the way he feels and thinks about me."

"But at the same time? If it were me, I'd be annoyed too. I get it," Ny reassured her.

The women continued to talk about what Sabine had shown Ny. They moved away from discussing McCoy and into talking about the differences between the two time periods. Sabine was relieved to have another friend on the Enterprise with whom she could be completely honest and Nyota was satisfied to have solved one mystery. And she was even more content to have a new mystery to work on – the mystery of how to turn McCoy and Sabine from enemies to friends…and maybe something more, if they were lucky.


	93. Chapter 93

"Did you really think I wouldn't put it together at some point?" Nyota asked McCoy as they made another lap around the track in the rec room.

"I assumed you'd have better things to do than dig around in my past for things I don't want to discuss," McCoy grunted, trying to convey his annoyance while still getting enough air in his lungs as they ran.

"She told you everything?" he asked Nyota.

"Enough," the communications officer replied. She didn't seem the least bit out of breath and meanwhile, McCoy was pretty certain his lungs were going to collapse if they kept this pace up. He slowed down and she matched his stride.

"And yet here you are, pestering me about her," he snapped.

"All I'm saying is she knows she made a huge mistake. Why can't you just let her apologize and move on?"

McCoy stopped and turned to Nyota, catching his breath as she gave him a look. He gave her a look of his own right back. He was so sick of people telling him to give Latour another chance. Amazing how every asshole had an opinion on something he had worked so hard to keep to himself.

"First of all, I don't appreciate my life being the subject of girls' night – I've seen all y'all in the lounge –"

"She didn't tell me during girls' night. It was just the two of us. And I had to beg for the story," Nyota interrupted. "So don't you dare go back to med bay and take it out on her."

"Fine. Even if it wasn't all of you, I still don't appreciate you meddling. Leave it alone, Ny."

"I'll leave it alone if you'll stop treating her like she's got Andorian shingles. You think people haven't noticed how rude you are to her? We've all seen it. It's not a good look. Even for you, Len."

McCoy faltered for a second. He hadn't realized his dislike for the other doctor had been so evident. Nyota saw the guilt in his eyes and took full advantage of it.

"She defends you, just so you know. When we get together for girls' nights and Christine brings up how awful you are to her? She's never said a word against you – just blames it on you not having enough coffee or being stressed. You're a total dick to her and she won't call you out on it. If it were me, you'd have a couple of black eyes by now."

Nyota started running again, leaving McCoy to think about her words. He joined her after a few minutes. The rest of their run was spent in silence but Nyota hoped she had gotten through to him.

McCoy cursed Chapel in his head. Of course she'd seen him interact with Latour repeatedly. He hadn't expected her to take Latour's side, though he wasn't really surprised. Everyone on the damn ship loved Latour. Except for him. He seemed to be the only one who realized what she was capable of. Even Jim had forgotten or minimized how cunning and deceitful she could be. Still, for all the misgivings he had about her, he hadn't meant to single Latour out as his greatest annoyance for all to see. She was a competent doctor and had a better bedside manner than he ever would. She didn't complain, and willingly took on the tasks he preferred to offload. It could be worse, he supposed. She generally made no efforts to antagonize him, a couple of incidents notwithstanding. It would be in everyone's best interests if he curbed his angry aggression towards her. Still, the world was in for a long wait if they thought he was going to "give her another chance."

* * *

"Tell me more," Sabine begged, a huge smile on her face.

"Ach, well, what do ye wanna know, lass?" Scotty replied, an equally big smile on his face.

The two were walking through engineering – Sabine was ostensibly there to make sure all the med kits in engineering were fully stocked, with no missing equipment, but she had completed the task half an hour ago and was letting Scotty regale her with stories of his favorite Enterprise adventures.

"What has been the strangest mission so far?" she asked.

"Hey! Get doon from there," Scotty yelled at Keenser, who was a meter or so away, on top of a Jeffries tube. Instead, the little guy banged on the tube with a hammer-like instrument.

"It's a brand-fucking-new ship," Scotty yelled. "Don't break it!" Keenser ignored him and Scotty turned back to Sabine.

"Strangest mission, eh?" he mused, thinking about it for a moment. "Doesn't perhaps count as a mission but probably the time a cloud infected the ship's computer, turning the ole girl into a practical joker."

"What?" Sabine asked with glee and Scotty told her the saga.

They were both laughing as Sabine's comm chirped.

"Yes," she answered, swallowing a giggle.

"You done down there yet?" McCoy asked.

"On my way back now," she replied, giving Scotty a look of exaggerated sadness. The comm ended and she turned to the chief engineer. "I have to get back to work," she said.

"Well, come back doon whenever you can, lass," Scotty replied cheerfully before taking off to find out what the source of a series of clangings and other loud noises was.

Sabine waved as he ran away and turned to head back to med bay. Her shift would be over in another few minutes. And McCoy hadn't been as terrible lately. He still avoided her whenever possible but he'd been, at the very least, less hostile when they did interact. However that did not stop her from wistfully wondering what it would be like to be in any other department. Scotty was a delight to work with – it was clear from all the engineers they patched up in sick bay – his crew loved him. Even Spock would make a better supervisor than what she was currently dealing with. She sighed as she saw med bay ahead of her. Oh well. She could always choose to leave the ship in another month and a half.

* * *

"Captain –"

"Jim, Spock. Just call me Jim when we're not on duty." Jim looked at the 3D chess board between him and his first officer. He made his move.

"Checkmate," he said with a satisfied smile.

"That's the third time this week," McCoy observed from the other side of the table, looking up briefly from the medical PADD he was engrossed in. "You're losin' your touch, Spock."

"Care to play a round, Doctor, and test that statement?" the Vulcan asked and McCoy wondered if he was making up the slight edge in the Vulcan's voice.

"I'm good," McCoy replied, his eyes already back on the article he was reading. "I prefer watching the captain beat you."

Spock calculated the win ratio between him and Captain Kirk. The captain – Jim – won 76% of the time. It baffled him. Before he had agreed to start playing Jim, his winning streak had been unblemished.

"Jim," he began and immediately, he felt the captain's gaze on him. "How do you do it?"

"What do you mean?" Jim replied, his eyes dancing.

"Your strategies are highly illogical," Spock answered. "I do not understand how you continue to maintain a winning streak against me."

"Well, you play like a Vulcan," Jim said simply. Spock raised both eyebrows in response.

"Explain," he responded.

"He's sayin' you're predictable," McCoy grumbled, still not looking up from his PADD but clearly following the conversation.

"You're half-Vulcan," Jim said gently.

"I fail to see how my physiology matters in a game of chess," Spock replied.

"What I meant is, you're half-Vulcan but you play as though there isn't another side of you," Jim said patiently. "You might want to try tapping into the human side more often."

Spock internally debated the merits of what Jim was recommending. It did not make much sense to him to embrace the chaotic nature of human strategies but perhaps that was what he was missing. Over the next week, he ignored his instincts when making moves on the chess board, deciding instead to make illogical moves. He won two out of three matches. Perhaps there was something to be said for allowing a bit more of his human side to come into play from time to time.


	94. Chapter 94

Something about the mission had been off from the very start, as far as McCoy was concerned. He'd tried to explain it to Jim but all he could say was something in his gut didn't feel right and Jim wanted more than a feeling as a reason to call things off and head back to the ship. The Xurlites had given them no outward cause for concern but McCoy distrusted them; they were too nice – too agreeable. The parameters of the mission were simple enough – the Xurlites were about the join the Federation and they'd requested medical assistance from Starfleet to receive the vaccinations that every species was required to have to be a Federation member. Jim and Spock had come down to finalize negotiations between Xurl and the Federation, while McCoy and Latour were occupied with overseeing vaccinations. Scotty had joined the party as well because he wanted to get a look at the latest Xurlite ships and there was the usual security detail. All in all, it was a bigger away team than normal but not unwieldy. And they'd been greeted warmly, given good accommodations within the king's palace, and all the supplies needed to complete their respective tasks. But there was something nagging McCoy the entire time and he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Scotty hadn't been bothered, Jim seemed fine and Spock…well, he was as Vulcan as always. McCoy almost asked Latour if she was uneasy but he was still avoiding her as often as he could and if no one else felt uncomfortable, why would she? He seemed to be the only one with any qualms. And for the first few days, everything seemed to go according to plan.

Sabine had felt ill-at-ease from the moment they had beamed down to Xurl. She sensed she was, perhaps, alone in her state of apprehensiveness so she said nothing but remained vigilant, having learned to never doubt her gut. The Xurlites themselves were kindness personified but there was something about the way their king had looked at her – something about the way some of the guards seemed to pause around her that triggered the fight or flight response in her. She didn't like this mission and wanted to get back to the Enterprise as soon as possible. There was a moment, as she and McCoy were sorting through supplies, when she almost mentioned her doubts but she held back. They'd been practically civil to one another for the past couple of weeks and she'd hate to ruin their new neutrality with worries that were, as of yet, unfounded. As she internally debated talking to him about her concerns, she could practically hear his complaints regarding her abilities to serve on a basic vaccination mission. Best to stay watchful and say nothing.

It wasn't until Jim, Scotty, and Spock returned to the ship with two of the security detail that things took a turn. Hendorff was still planet-side with McCoy and Latour and he was helping McCoy unload crates of vaccines while they waited for Latour to join them. As the morning wore on, both men realized something was wrong. Latour was never late and she wasn't responding to either man's comms. Hendorff told McCoy he'd head back to their rooms in the palace to see if she was there. McCoy nodded, overwhelmed with the work of two people. An hour later, Hendorff commed McCoy and the doctor left the vaccinations to the hands of the hopefully capable Xurlite doctors so he could take the comm in peace.

"McCoy here," he answered. "Whatcha got for me, Cupcake?"

"She's not here, Doc. And no one seems to know where she is…but I got a weird feeling about this," Hendorff had lowered his voice for that last part.

"What do you mean?" McCoy replied, instinctively lowering his own voice.

"I'm not sure, but I think they know more about her disappearance than they're telling me. Also? They seem scared."

"I'm on my way," McCoy said grimly, ending the comm before Hendorff could object. The Xurlites could handle the damn vaccinations from here. Within a half hour, McCoy and Hendorff were together in McCoy's room, trying to figure out what was going on.

"There's definitely something they're not telling us," McCoy confirmed, pacing back and forth with his right arm across his stomach and his left hand resting against his mouth, his thumb idly rubbing his top lip. He bounced on his toes, a nervous tic he'd never managed to break himself of.

"We've got to figure out a way to get through to them," Cupcake grumbled. The two men pondered their options in silence for a few minutes.

"I've got an idea," McCoy finally announced darkly, moving to grab his med kit.

"What?" Hendorff asked, his curiosity piqued.

"I'm gonna tell them she's got a disease and she'll die if I don't give her the needed treatment," McCoy replied.

"That's it?" Cupcake responded dubiously.

"Yeah, well, you got something better?" The head of security's silence was answer enough.

"Didn't think so," McCoy muttered.

"If they let me see her, I'll comm you…but not on the regular channel. Switch your communicator to this frequency." McCoy held up his own and indicated which dial to press. "Hopefully, they won't hear us this way."

"Doc, we might have bigger problems than that – look outside." Hendorff had stopped in front of the window. The two men looked at the dark clouds on the horizon. They'd known they had to get off the planet before this storm blew in – otherwise, they'd be there for who knew how long, waiting for the monsoon-like rains to pass.

"Well, shit," McCoy grumbled. "Get in touch with the ship and see how long we've got to get out of here."

"You got it," Hendorff replied.

* * *

The plan worked better than McCoy or Hendorff had thought it would. Once McCoy explained to the Xurlite regent guard his concerns for the safety of his fellow doctor, the Xurlites quickly conferred amongst themselves and rejoined him.

"We can take you to where she is. We are sorry she has been confined. It was not our idea."

"Whose bright idea was it?" he snapped back.

"Follow me," one of the guards responded and as they made their way to the bowels of the palace, the guard avoided answering any of McCoy's numerous questions regarding just what the hell was going on. At that point, Hendorff had contacted the Enterprise and they'd beamed him aboard, cautioning McCoy that the window for transporting was rapidly disappearing.

It felt like they'd been descending for years once the guard finally came to a door and held his hand up to a pad on the wall to grant access.

The guard conferred with another guard on the other side of the door and McCoy was passed off to the other Xurlite. He looked at the dim hallway they'd entered. On either side were cells.

"What is this place?" he asked the new guard as they walked together.

"The old prison," answered the Xurlite.

"Why is my colleague here?"

"She is being held in exchange for the return of the King's son from the others."

"The others? What others?"

"Starfleet is not the only galactic group seeking an audience with Xurl. We broke off negotiations with the Klingons and they did not take it well."

"They kidnapped the prince?" McCoy pieced together what the guard was telling him.

"Yes. And they have offered to return him if we provide them with your colleague. They are interested in her…we do not have the word in our language. Her mental powers."

"Of course," McCoy growled. He knew it had been a bad idea to let her wander around the galaxy with her abilities as powerful as they were. They were targets now for any and all species interested in telepathy and telekinesis.

The guard stopped and turned to the cell on their right. Inside, McCoy could barely make out Latour's shape, huddled on the ground in the back, her knees clasped to her chest by hands which were confined in thick metal cuffs. He looked to the floor of the cell and noticed a red puddle of…ooze…for lack of a better term.

"What's that?" he asked the guard, gesturing to the floor but the Xurlite was silent. Instead, the answer came from the woman in the back of the cell.

"That," Sabine replied shakily, "was my cellmate." The guard opened the door to her cell and allowed McCoy in.

"Let me know when you are ready to depart," the guard told him as he shut him into the cell. The guard walked way to give the doctors some privacy and Sabine slowly made her way to standing, using the wall behind her to help.

"Are you okay?" McCoy already had his tricorder out to scan her and Sabine simply nodded, knowing whatever answer she gave him, he'd scan her anyway.

As he scanned her, two thoughts hit McCoy in rapid succession. The first was completely unwelcome: He imagined what it would be like to use those cuffs in bed with her. Bondage had never held all that much appeal to him but something about seeing her in restraints appealed to his prurient side. His second thought was a reaction to the first: he was extremely irritated with himself because he was, yet again, thinking about her in a sexual light. It wasn't like he sat around all day fantasizing about all the ways he would like to have her, but occasionally, when he saw her, his first thought would be a quick flash of something erotic. In the past few weeks he'd been better about not taking his frustrations out on her but the vision of her cuffed to a bedpost had been particularly vivid and enticing so he huffed in irritation as he completed the scan and Sabine assumed he was annoyed that she'd allowed herself to be captured, as if having armed guards show up in her chambers that morning was something she could have easily prevented.

"What is your plan?" she asked him softly. He was surprised she hadn't tried to communicate with him telepathically. He wasn't a fan of her extrasensory skills except in situations like this where it could keep them both from danger.

"I'd rather not do this out loud," he whispered back to her.

"Mmm, we do not have a choice," she replied, then tilted her head. "They have injected a neural inhibitor right here." She tried to gesture to just under her right collarbone.

"Shit," he swore softly.

"You need to get it out," she told him. "I do not care about the pain."

"With what?" He gestured to his med kit. "I don't have any kind of knife or scalpel in there."

"I do," she replied, nodding to the bench along the right wall. Sure enough, her med kit and tricorder were sitting there.

"Do we have to do this right here and now? I'd prefer to wait till we're back on the Enterprise," McCoy countered.

"Yes, and I would have preferred to not see my cellmate liquefied but I think the time for granting personal requests has passed."

"How'd that happen?"

"These," she held her cuffs up to him. "If I try to break free from them, they will release a toxin that appears to liquefy the body from the inside out." She shuddered slightly, remembering the agonizing death she'd watched.

"Good Lord," he replied.

"That is why I need you to get the inhibitor out. I can handle either being cuffed or having my abilities inhibited, but I cannot escape with both."

"I've got a plan," McCoy said in a hushed tone. "I already told them you needed a special treatment for a rare disease and that you have to be given the same treatment each day. I'll insist we can only save you if we're allowed back to the ship."

She stared at him incredulously.

"That is one of the worst ideas I have ever heard. I am shocked it got you this far."

"You got something better?" His voice conveyed his defensiveness.

"As a matter of fact? Yes."

She snatched the scalpel from her med kit. "Either you do this or I do it," she told the other doctor, holding the scalpel to the point where they'd injected the inhibitor. "Given how awkward it is for me to do anything in these cuffs, I hope you make the right choice."

He sighed and grabbed the scalpel from her. "You're a pain in the ass," he said as he cut into her skin. Minus a sharp intake of breath, she made no sound or other indication that what he was doing hurt. After a few minutes, he scraped the inhibitor out and moved to grab his dermal regenerator.

"No time for that," she whispered as she lifted a sedative-filled hypo from his med kit with her mind and hid it behind her back. The top front of her dress began to turn purple as the blood from the wound under her neck met the blue fabric.

"Guard," she called out and the Xurlite appeared at the door.

"You're bleeding," he stated.

"It is fine. The doctor is ready to leave."

The Xurlite unlocked the door but before he could open it, Sabine launched the hypo at him, and it struck the guard in the neck. He crumpled to the ground and Sabine pushed open the cell door, grabbing the guard's weapon and negotiating it into her left hand, contorting her right hand slightly so she could aim more accurately. McCoy just stood there, astonished.

"You coming or should I leave you?" she asked sarcastically. McCoy grabbed the med kits and tricorder and followed her out.

"Now what?" he asked.

"Now we fight our way out. You have your phaser?" She looked to his waist and saw it resting on his belt. He slung the med kits and tricorder across his torso and grabbed his phaser.

"I've got a real bad feeling about this," he grumbled.

"Just stay behind me for once," she replied, rolling her eyes. His chivalrous nature was a nuisance on the rare occasions when they were both on away missions – he constantly wanted to take the lead when it was obvious that between the two of them, he was the one who needed protecting.

They made it through the labyrinth of underground tunnels before they encountered the first Xurlite and Sabine stunned him without problem. But as they came back to the surface, both doctors saw the heavy rain and black skies. They had surely missed their chance to be transported. An unanswered comm to the Enterprise confirmed they were on their own.

"Goddammit, if you had let me follow my plan, I coulda commed them sooner," McCoy complained.

"The communicators do not work down there," Sabine retorted. "You would have still needed to make it back to here. And your plan was stupid." He scowled while she stunned another guard.

"We have to get out of here," she determined.

"And go where?"

"Out there," she replied, nodding to the forest they could barely see through the windows and the thunderous rain storm.

"For fuck's sake," McCoy growled.

"Or we can stay here and both be taken prisoner," Sabine shot back as she stunned another two guards. "Either way, we must make a decision now because I cannot keep this up."

She used telekinesis to slam the doors behind them shut and barricade them with loose furniture. McCoy felt a reluctant awe watching her.

"Alright, let's go," he grumbled. Sabine blasted one of the windows open with her weapon and dropped it. The two doctors climbed out of the broken window and ran out into the rain. It was freezing and they were drenched in seconds. But neither stopped nor turned back. The forest was their only way out now.

Once in the woods, they had new problems to contend with. The ground was uneven and mud covered their boots. Sabine's ability to keep her balance was limited with her hands bound and she worried if she fell the wrong way, she'd trigger the cuffs. They needed to get out of this storm and McCoy was convinced they'd have no choice but to return to the palace. Making it to the city in this weather would be impossible.

"We have to find shelter," McCoy yelled, his voice drowned out by the thunder and howling winds.

"I am looking," Sabine called out. Though they were mere steps apart from one another, the storm was so fierce they could hardly hear or see one another. In fact, McCoy would have wandered off without Latour if she hadn't attempted to grab him, almost falling in the process. He caught her elbow and pulled her back up.

"This way," she screamed, nodding her head to the left. McCoy peered out to see what she was gesturing to.

"There is a cave," she yelled. He gripped her arm to keep her from falling.

"Right there," she cried. "Do you see it?"

McCoy looked again. Sure enough, not more than a quarter-meter in front of them was what looked like the mouth of a cavern.

* * *

"Now what?" McCoy glared towards where he assumed Sabine was. The cave was dark…and cold. But at least it was dry. Thunder clapped and in the instantaneous flash of lightning accompanying the boom, he saw that she was on the opposite side of where he'd directed his ire so he adjusted his angry gaze in her direction.

"Now we get a fire going," she replied, hoping her voice didn't betray how cold and waterlogged she felt. Not that he'd care. He was annoyed because they couldn't establish contact with the Enterprise, which meant their best hope for surviving was to wait this storm out – a storm that could last anywhere from a day to a month. They would never survive being stuck alone for a month. They'd kill each other before then.

"And just how are we gonna start a fire? Don't know if you noticed but it's raining out there. All the wood is soaked." He said it as though it were her personal fault that rain was falling from the skies. Sabine sighed. Of all the people to be stuck with. Why couldn't it be Hendorff? She shook off the annoyance she felt.

"Here is how we get a fire going," she replied tartly, and at first, he saw nothing but slowly a bluish light filled the cave. McCoy realized it was coming from Sabine's hands.

"Close your eyes and cover your face," she cautioned him. She didn't have to tell him twice. McCoy turned so his face was close to the wall of the cavern and even then, he shielded it with his arms. He could hear a whooshing noise and felt a breeze coming towards them from deeper in the cave. It lasted for what felt like several minutes but he knew better than to look or even ask what was happening. The noise stopped.

"You can uncover your face now," she said quietly. It was still too dark to see but a moment later he heard a couple of clicks not far from him and then a flame flickered from the floor of the cave, no more than a half-meter away. In the dim light, he could see Sabine crouching down by the fire, a tiny metal tool in her left hand. The flames arose from a dense sphere of sticks and reflected off her cuffs. There were two more spheres on the other side of Sabine. The blaze was already generating heat and the storm outside no longer seemed so dire.

"Each of these bundles should last six hours," Sabine murmured as he sat down next to her.

"Had no idea you were such a camper," he replied, perhaps a touch too sardonically. He grabbed a protein bar from his med kit. He'd have half tonight. They would need to ration their supplies to make it.

"There is a lot you do not know," she bristled.

"I know enough." His tone was grim and he regretted it the moment the words came out of his mouth. He decided to change the subject.

"What's that?" He gestured to the silver item in her hand. She tossed it to him as best she could with her limited ability to move her hands.

"An old-fashioned lighter," she answered as he flicked it on and off a couple of times. "Always a good thing to have if there is room in my med kit." He leaned over to drop the lighter into her cupped hands, along with the uneaten half of his protein bar. She nodded to him in thanks.

"Speakin' of med kits, lemme take a look at that incision," he demanded. She acquiesced by tilting her head so he could see where he'd cut out the telepathic inhibitor. The laceration had to be hurting her though she gave no indication of pain.

"I need the dermal regenerator," McCoy mumbled, grabbing his from his kit. He ran it over the wound until there was nothing left but a smear of blood, which he wiped off with his thumb. Sabine jerked away from his touch as if he had burned her. For some reason, her reticence to let him touch her irritated McCoy all over again. So much for being polite or friendly.

"You're welcome," he muttered. She just shot him a look. He stood and removed his blue shirt, laying it out on a rock near the fire so it could dry. Sabine's cuffs prevented her from removing her own medical blues so they too could dry. Instead she remained huddled by the fire. She said something under her breath.

"What was that?" he asked.

"YOU are welcome," she gritted out defiantly.

"And what exactly should I be thanking you for?" He cocked an eyebrow at her and she stood to face him.

"I do not know. Perhaps the fire keeping you warm? Or because we are not in a cell right now?" Angry resistance lit up her eyes. Of all the nerve after what he'd risked trying to free her.

"I had a plan to save you. My plan woulda ensured you weren't dripping wet right now," he growled, looking at the water droplets at the ends of her damp curls.

"Yes, yes. That would change everything. Never mind the Enterprise could not have beamed us up from the cell so we would still be there – two people imprisoned instead of one." Her sarcasm dripped from every word.

"You're right, sweetheart. This is much better," he threw his hands out to indicate their dismal surroundings. "What happens if the rain doesn't let up? How many twig balls can you make us? What about food when the protein bars run out? You got answers to all the problems?"

"More answers than you!"

"I don't want to be here with you," he snarled. "I didn't have to come find you at all."

"Then why did you?" Sabine was shouting now even though they were in each other's faces. "I would rather be in that cell than owe you anything!"

"Fine! I'll remember that next time!" He glared down at her. "I shoulda sent Hendorff to get you."

"Why did you not? I would have preferred him. Hendorff can at least fight!" Her jab at his less-than-stellar aim shouldn't have smarted as much as it did. He was a doctor, dammit, not a soldier.

"Oh, so he's what you'd prefer, huh? There's a surprise." McCoy moved towards her and Sabine backed up towards the cave wall.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked angrily.

"Of course you'd prefer another man," he grumbled watching her face fall.

"Mmm, I see. We are back to this. But we never leave it, do we? You do not speak to me because over five years ago, you think I broke your heart." Sabine was spitting mad but she'd reached the wall and had no way to avoid the still advancing McCoy.

"I think? What the fuck? I know you cheated on me! I caught you in the act! You want me to just forget?"

Sabine clammed up, refusing to say anything about his false memories.

"So you're not gonna deny it?"

What was she supposed to say to him? That he only thought she cheated because he had fake memories? Was she supposed to tell him he couldn't trust the things he thought he knew? If he hated her now, driving him to insanity certainly wasn't going to help matters.

"Can't defend yourself, can you?" He was gloating as he drew closer and it made her even more furious.

"I will not defend myself to you," she seethed.

"Because you can't," he countered. He was no more than 20 centimeters away from her.

"I am so tired of your self-righteous attitude," she cried out. "Who do you think you are?" She did her best to mold herself to the wall she found herself up against, not wanting to be any closer to McCoy then she had to be.

"Who do I think I am? I know what I'm not. I don't lie, cheat, or break hearts. What was it for you? Did you enjoy stringing me along? Was it an attention thing? You just couldn't pass up any man who looked your way?"

He put his hands against the wall, bracing himself as he leaned closer to her, while trapping her in. She slit her eyes at him as he continued.

"Guess what, darlin'? Just because a man looks at you and smiles doesn't mean he cares about you. He's probably just thinkin' of how to get in your pants. What do you think most men see when they look at you? They want to get you into bed. You coulda had love but you settled for lust."

His words stung, even as she tried to remind herself that his memories made her out to be a cheat and a liar. She was tired of taking the blame for things that hadn't happened – tired of waiting for him to figure out the truth behind his headaches. He was supposed to love her. But she'd ruined that, hadn't she? Even if it had saved their lives.

Her eyes narrowed further. They were close enough now she could smell him, could hear the breath rising and falling in his chest. Close enough… She made a decision.

"I loved you, you asshole," she hissed, tears she refused to let fall bright in her eyes. She didn't give herself the chance to tell him she still loved him. Rather, she brought her bound hands up and pushed him in the chest as hard as the cuffs would allow. Her eyes flashed in rage. His were just as angry. Her shove hurt just enough to goad him into one more display of his dislike: he seized her waist, pulled her roughly to him and brought his mouth down hard on hers.

Once she was in his arms, he pushed her back against the wall of the cave and grabbed her buttocks, pulling her tighter against his body. She could feel him hard against her thigh, but then he shifted himself and pulled her legs up around his waist. Now she could feel his hardness where it most mattered – where her raw nerves welcomed it. Because of the cuffs, she was reliant on him to keep her steady and he pinned her in place with his body. McCoy broke off their kiss and bowed his head and Sabine lifted her arms so he could duck his head between them. She could now rest her bound hands on his back, allowing him to press their bodies ever closer to one another. McCoy began once again to kiss her aggressively, almost as though he could consume her. At a certain point, he drew a recalcitrant moan from her and his kiss changed. It softened. But soon, as she nipped his lower lip, and pressed herself against him, he was back to ravaging her mouth. He thrust against her and despite her back being lodged against a cold, stone surface, it felt amazing. He knew exactly where to push her. But of course he did – he had always been able to gratify her. She couldn't contain the sounds of pleasure as he rocked against her harder and faster. He let go of her mouth and she groaned in his ear as his ragged breath hit her neck. She was so close and he knew it. She pressed against him as well as she could and he joined his mouth to hers again, tender at first, then more persistent and coarse, as though he had temporarily forgotten he hated her then remembered mid-kiss she was the bad guy. A cry escaped her as he brought her to climax simply by rubbing against her.

He dipped his head again and she lifted her arms, letting him free himself. He avoided her bound hands, holding her against the wall as he angled his lower half away from her while they both caught their breath. He would not let her return the "favor" he'd just given her. Sabine didn't care. When he finally released her, she stood unsteadily and glared at him.

"You are no better than you think me to be," she said in a low tone, still panting.

"It's not like I broke your heart," he murmured, the unspoken part of his sentence being that you couldn't break a non-existent heart. His eyes were harsh even as he brushed a damp curl away from her face. She jerked away from him.

"You think you are the only one with feelings. You believe yours was the only heart broken back at the Academy. You are so wrong," she replied, her voice cracking while she left unsaid that he'd broken her heart a little more each day since she'd joined the Enterprise crew.

He wanted to wipe what he perceived as the smug look off her face but instead he pulled away from her completely. He felt a certain defeat and a bitter anger pooling in him. She had deceived him. She'd known if she needled him hard enough, he'd reveal his ongoing feelings for her. He'd walked into a trap she had set.

"Are you happy?" he asked her. "Does it make you feel good to drag others to your level?"

"I did not drag you down. You kissed me. And no, I am not happy," she said, as she walked gingerly to the other side of the fire to lay down. Her back was sore from rubbing against the rock so she turned on her side, away from him. He took his place at the opposite side of the fire and also assumed a position of sleep. He did not bother offering to stay awake and keep watch. At this point, he hoped she'd get recaptured. He hoped to never see her again.


	95. Chapter 95

Morning came on Xurl and Sabine was still there. So was the storm. McCoy could hear it coming down before he opened his eyes and looked out the entrance of the cave to the gray mist of water tumbling down. The fire was still burning, but it was down to embers and he grabbed another twig ball to place in it. The temperature had dropped significantly since the start of the storm. Apparently ice and snow weren't something that happened on this planet because it was certainly cold enough for both. McCoy rubbed his hands together and watched as he blew a frosty breath out of his mouth. Neither doctor had the layers necessary to endure this kind of cold. Sabine was shivering in her sleep, her lips tinged in blue. After lighting the second twig ball, McCoy sat beside her, then quietly laid down alongside her, pulling her in towards him. Between his body and the fire, hopefully she would warm up. She stirred as she felt his hands on him, and her eyes snapped open. For a tense second, he thought she might attempt to punch him but she seemed to understand what he was doing without any explanation and she allowed him to continue. Her head buried against his chest, with her bound hands just below it, she fell back asleep, her back warmed by the growing fire while her front found solace in his body heat. McCoy dozed off as well.

When he awoke again, he felt a wetness on his chest and a shaking in his arms. He realized she was crying and he kept his eyes closed, giving her privacy as she sobbed. Was she upset about what had happened last night? Was it concealed fear regarding the cuffs around her hands and the gruesome death she'd watched the day before? Did she hate him so much it had driven her to cry because she realized they might be stuck together like this indefinitely? Whatever the case, he didn't want to find out.

"I know you are awake now," Sabine said a few minutes later, her weeping now nothing more than an isolated sniffle here and there.

"I didn't want to bother you," McCoy replied gruffly, unsure of how to be kind to someone he had disliked for so long.

"Thanks, but I do not need you to tip-toe around me. Sorry I got your shirt wet."

"It'll dry," he replied. They pulled away from one another, and he avoided her eyes. The fire was in full swing and as they both stood, McCoy snuck a couple of glances at Sabine. Her lips were no longer blue. Her uniform was a mess, torn and stained with mud and blood, as were her legs. Her boots would be thrown in the regeneration heap when they got back to the ship – hell, all of their clothes would be thrown into the pile for regeneration – there was no way they could be salvaged in the laundry. His pants were caked in mud and he noticed a tear in his own medical blues as they lay drying on the stone. Sabine had scraped her legs in the escape and it was hard to tell what was mud, and what might be blood. But she was dry and that was a positive sign. They needed all the good news they could get right now. He looked out at the dark skies – so dark it almost looked like nighttime. The rains continued to beat down, unabated. Sabine grabbed a protein bar from her med kit and tore it in half, offering one part to McCoy. He accepted it silently. She then grabbed a small towel and held it out of the mouth of the cave, allowing it to get wet. Using the wet towel, she wiped down any exposed skin she could reach, cleaning both dirt and blood from herself. McCoy grabbed the towel from her and, for her arms and the backs of her legs where she couldn't reach with the cuffs, he wiped quickly, doing his best to ignore the contact with her body. Sabine shivered in spite of herself, not because of the cold, but because having him pat her down with the damp cloth was more intimate than she'd expected. Once clean, both doctors could see she had only minor abrasions and bruising.

"I have three more bars," she said softly as they both took a seat on boulders in front of the fire. She nibbled on the half of the bar she'd kept for herself. McCoy finished chewing his bite before responding.

"Me too," he noted. "If we ration them out to one bar a day for each of us, that's three more days. Can you handle that?"

She nodded. The bars tasted like sand but they were filling and if they ate a half in the morning and a half later in the day, they'd have the necessary nutrients. She got up and grabbed her med kit, taking out a flattened package. She ripped it open and a moldable disk was revealed. She began to bend the edges to form a small bowl but her hands were too close together to allow for easy shaping. McCoy sighed and stood up, grabbing the disk from her and making quick work of it. He handed the bowl back to her and she set it just outside the entrance of the cave, so it would fill with water. He made a similar bowl from his own med kit and followed her lead.

"Where is your phaser?" she asked him later in the morning.

"Here…but I think the water got to it." He handed her the phaser and she tested it out. Nothing happened. She sat down next to her med kit and attempted to disassemble it.

"What're you gonna do?" he asked, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"Hopefully," she said haltingly as she tried unsuccessfully to pull the pieces apart, "I … can get it … working … and we can use it … to heat up some of these boulders."

It was a good idea, if she could make it work.

He sat down on the boulder next to her and put his hand out. She handed him the phaser and, following her instructions, he took it apart.

The day passed in relative silence. Sabine let the phaser parts dry out and they came back later to reassemble them. The phaser now emitted a low ray but it was enough to warm several boulders around the cave, giving them more much-needed warmth and a bit of light. McCoy explored the interior of the cave, gathering additional sticks for the fire. He combined their rations and repeatedly attempted contact with the Enterprise, to no avail. They napped and paced the cave, which turned out to be fairly wide, but not very deep. This was what no one ever admitted about away missions gone wrong – there were often many hours spent bored out of your mind awaiting rescue.

"So the Klingons were interested in you for your mental abilities?" he finally asked as they sat across from one another in front of the fire. She looked up from cleaning and reorganizing her med kit. The task was taking her forever because of the limited range of motion she had but she didn't care. What else was she supposed to do while they waited for the rains to end?

"Yes. No one ever comes after me for my skills as a doctor, do they?" She seemed almost bored with the notion.

"I'm sure if someone out there wants to kidnap a doctor, you and Jim will find them. It's just a matter of time," he said sarcastically.

"As long as it is not you, right?" she retorted, but it wasn't an angry jab. He realized she was teasing him and wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"I wouldn't wish Klingons on my worst enemy," he finally replied. Sabine wondered if he considered her his worst enemy.

"At least Klingons can be reasoned with," she said thoughtfully.

He snorted.

"I am serious," she replied. "I have friends among them. If you had not arrived in time, I was not afraid of being taken by them." She looked down at the cuffs on her hands. "At least, not until I watched what these can do." She shuddered slightly at the memory.

"Is that why you were upset this morning?" McCoy asked delicately, not wanting to send her back into tears if that were the case.

Even from across the dimly-lit cavern, he could see her blush.

"No," she said simply. She would never tell him she had cried because it had felt so good to wake up in his arms and, for a brief moment, she had been able to pretend he was holding her close because he cared about her – to pretend that things between them were like they had been at the Academy. But the truth had crept in the longer her eyes were opened and she hadn't been able to hold the tears back. He was holding her because he was a doctor who recognized early signs of hypothermia. He was just doing what he could to keep a person he didn't even like alive. Sure, he'd kissed her the night before, had made her orgasm, but that had only added to his enmity for her. She'd cried, thinking about how hopeless it was to think he'd ever remember the truth. This was who she was to him now – an attractive nuisance to be distrusted. She hated feeling his negativity and vowed she would leave the ship at the end of the six-month trial phase. They both deserved better. She kept her eyes on her work, not wanting to reveal anything to him.

He cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry about last night," he said hoarsely, the words dry and heavy in his mouth. He'd wanted to apologize to her all day but hadn't worked up the courage to bring it up till that moment and he prayed it wouldn't lead to a second fight. She remained silent, her eyes still focused on the med kit spread out over the ground in front of her.

"I should apologize," she finally murmured. "As you pointed out, I instigated it."

He wanted to argue with her over who started it – he had backed her into a corner and he wasn't so sure he wouldn't have ended up kissing her and bringing her to climax whether she had shoved him or not. But he held his tongue for a beat before replying.

"It takes two people to get into a fight," he said, paraphrasing what his mother had always told him when he would come home from grade school with notes about getting into fights with the other boys. "I'm sorry for my part in the argument … and everything else. I shouldn't have pushed myself on you like that."

"I am sorry for everything I have done that has left you so angry and disgusted with me. You will not believe me but I never wanted it to be like this between us. And you did not push yourself on me against my will. I wanted it. I apologize for that too."

She never made eye contact with him as she spoke, instead looking only at the tools and hypos she was placing back inside her kit.

He didn't trust himself to answer her. Wasn't sure what he might say or do. So he remained silent and the silence lingered, interrupted only by the sounds of her task. The quietude threatened to consume them both. McCoy noted a continued drop in temperature at the day went on. It was uncomfortably cold and he threw his dried medical blues back on, though they did little to warm him. Finally unable to stand the silence, McCoy stood up and moved to the other side of the cave, sitting down next to Sabine.

"Can I take a look at those?" he asked nodding to her cuffs.

"Okay," she replied uncertainly, holding her hands out to him. "Just be careful, mmm? I would like to avoid dissolving from the inside out today."

He rolled his eyes in response but moved to crouch in front of her and touched the cuffs gingerly, afraid of triggering any kind of bodily harm to her. He'd never seen cuffs like them though now that he was looking closely, he could see the Klingon markings. He lifted her icy hands to look at the other side. They were thick, heavy as well, and the metal was freezing. He imagined her wrists were sore if not numb from the cold metal clasped so tightly around them. He hypothesized that their thickness allowed them to hold whatever the bioweapon was that triggered the dissolution she had witnessed.

"Do you know what your cellmate did to trigger the cuffs?" he asked her softly as he continued his examination of the cuffs. He noted a green light on each cuff, on the interior where they met one another.

"He did nothing. They used him as an example so I would know they were serious."

"What?" He stared up at her in surprise and she met his gaze with her own. He could see anger, guilt, fear, and a number of other emotions flicker across her face. "You're telling me the Xurlites killed a man just to show you how these work?"

"Not the Xurlites. The Klingons. Two of them visited my cell. When they first brought me down to the cell, it was just me and a Xurlite male. I was injected and cuffed by one of the regent guards but he did not know what the cuffs could do. None of us did. So I started to play with them, to see if I could find a way to disable them. I must have triggered some sort of warning beacon because two Klingons transported to the cell and immediately began yelling at me. My cellmate did nothing to deserve his death. He was just a petty thief. But they placed him in cuffs identical to mine and then smashed his hands against the cell wall to trigger the cuffs all in a demonstration to me."

Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered the events she described.

"I did not mean for him to be killed. If I had known –"

"How could you have known?"

She didn't have an answer for him. He set her hands down on her lap and moved back to the stone next to her.

"It's not your fault he died," McCoy said softly. She responded with a jagged exhalation. Something provoked the back of McCoy's mind and he felt the familiar twang of a déjà-vu headache forming.

"It feels like it is," she sighed.

"I can imagine," he sympathized. "I can't do anything with the cuffs. They look like they're more Scotty's purview."

"Mmm, I thought so," she agreed. They were silent for a moment, but, headache notwithstanding, it was the first comfortable silence of the day. Sabine spoke up. "What is the worst thing you have experienced on an away mission?"

"Huh, I'm not even sure," he replied before taking a minute to think. "We've lost a lot of crew over the years. Pretty much every time I have to tell Jim a man is dead."

"You do not blame yourself, do you?"

"Depends on the circumstances. If I was there and felt like I could have prevented it? Then yeah, I blamed myself."

"How many souls weigh on your conscience?" Sabine spoke so softly, McCoy almost didn't hear her. She was talking to herself, remembering a conversation with Dinesh and some of the other doctors who worked for the Peacekeepers.

"Do you keep track?" he asked her with genuine curiosity. She pulled out of her reverie and looked at him in confusion.

"Do you remember all the people who've died under your care?" he asked.

"No," she whispered in response. "I remember the ones I failed." That included not just the dead but the ones who lost limbs, or children or any number of things so many took for granted.

The familiar throb in his head was more persistent now. The Academy. A patient lost? No. When had she lost a patient at the Academy?

Sabine watched McCoy wince in pain with wide eyes. He was remembering something, she could feel it. But the moment passed.

"Sometimes, I'm not sure whether the failure falls on me or on something else," he said somberly, looking at her again. He didn't mention his headache and she let it slide, resisting the urge to touch him. Last night had shown her she needed to keep her hands to herself.

"Me too," she replied. "But other times, it is easy to take the blame."

"What do you do with the guilt? How do you handle it when you believe you're at fault for losing a patient?"

"There is not one easy answer, is there?" she responded with a question before continuing. "Some, I use it as motivation to do better – be better. Some leave me feeling unfit for the job. Some fade over time, others never leave the sharpest parts of my memories."

He nodded. They had so much in common, he realized. No wonder he had fallen so hard for her all those years ago. If only she hadn't broken his heart. He would've given her his lifelong devotion. She could sense the wheels in his mind turning, could sense the direction they were moving in wasn't good. She stood and moved away from him, to the entrance of the cave, watching the angry rain beat down.

McCoy watched her standing with her back to him. She'd always had an extra perception when it came to his thoughts. Had she read him? If so, good. She deserved to know how much she had lost when she chose to cheat on him. He stood up and moved to the other end of the cave, away from the entrance, the fire, her. He paced in the darkness, conflicting emotions at war in him.

Even though the day had been dark, they could tell when night came. It grew darker still and colder. More twig balls were made and subsequently thrown on the fire to combat the dark cold. The phaser had stopped working again and Sabine didn't know what else to do to fix it. She moved in as close to the blaze as she could. Damn these uniforms with their tiny skirts. She was freezing. She swore to herself that from now on, she'd wear pants on away missions. McCoy grabbed a protein bar and spilt it with her, staying by her side as they both ate their dinners quickly. Though neither of them had done much of note during the day, they were tired. Instead of leaving Sabine to sleep on the other side of the fire like he had the night before, he stayed by her side as she lay down. He looked down at her with a question in his eyes and she nodded her consent. He joined her and she turned to him, letting him put his arms around her. She was cold to the touch and he pulled her in tighter. She raised her head to his.

"You do not have to do this if you do not want to," she murmured, her teeth chattering. He bent his head down to hers.

"You're too cold," he replied evenly. "Your pulse is too slow."

"You are not much warmer than me," she retorted. "We are not going to make it if we have to stay here much longer."

She was right. He knew it. There was a reason they'd been so lethargic all day. Neither of them had prepared to get stuck in the elements during a rain storm that had dropped the planet's temperatures so dramatically.

They clung to one another, relying on the fire and their shared body heat to keep them alive. For a few minutes, they matched their breathing to one another. McCoy closed his eyes, so tired.

"Leo, wake up," he heard Sabine call out, distress in her voice. Her hands were on his face – he could feel the cold metal of her cuffs on his chin and he pulled away, looking down at her.

"What? What's wrong?" He was worried there were intruders nearby. The cold permeated his bones.

"You were breathing erratically," she said as calmly as she could. "I needed to wake you up but you would not respond." Her eyes were wide with concern, fear, and another emotion he wasn't willing to acknowledge just yet. She had been afraid he wouldn't wake up. She was shaking and he was pretty sure the cold was only part of the reason why.

They pulled closer to one another. McCoy didn't know if he was losing his inhibitions because of the bitter cold or if it was because Sabine had seemed so genuinely upset but he sought her mouth with his. She welcomed his affection with a hunger that surprised both of them. It was too much to be so close and not allow for the intimacy both had avoided and yet craved. Their kisses were soft – not the angry plundering of the night before. He pushed all the thoughts of how she'd wronged him out of his head.

"Sabine," he murmured against her ear as they came up for air. Hearing him say her name for the first time in over five years, and in that tone too, thrilled her down to her core.

"Leo," she whispered in reply, her breath hitching as he kissed her neck.

"Goddammit, woman," he growled as she buried her head against his neck.

A strangled sob escaped her as her lips brushed his earlobe.

He pulled away for a moment and looked at her. "Don't cry," he begged her.

"I did not mean to," she replied shakily.

"It's gonna be okay. We're gonna get out of here," he tried to assure her, assuming her emotions were tied to their dire situation rather than the return of his affection. But the way she pulled her body close to his, and fisted his shirt in her bound hands gave him second thoughts about why she was crying. Had she really missed him so much? He met her lips with his own again, and slipped his tongue into her mouth, savoring her taste. She met his tongue eagerly with her own. They moved against each other but made no effort to undress. It was too cold. And she couldn't take her dress off without ripping it if she wanted. Instead they intertwined their bodies, his thigh sliding between hers, their hips pressing against one another. The kisses grew deeper and they both began to grow more excited. The cold was forgotten as they focused on each other. He grabbed her ass with both hands and pulled her against him so she could feel his arousal. Since her hands were otherwise useless, she stroked him, alternating from left to right as the cuffs would allow. She heard a rumble in his chest as she continued to rub the length of him through his pants. He pulled one of her legs up higher, to his hip so he could grind against her more easily and she gasped as he yanked her dress out of the way so she could feel his hand on her buttocks, with only a thin layer of silken panty separating their skin. Sabine rolled onto her back with McCoy on top of her. She continued to stroke him but her hips rose to meet his as well and she writhed beneath him, drawing a contented sound from his throat. McCoy braced himself with one arm while keeping the other arm tight around her as they moved against one another in coordinated rhythm. Their mouths were fused together and when they finally broke apart to catch their breath, they skimmed their lips along one another's face and neck.

"I want to do for you what you did for me last night," Sabine whispered in McCoy's ear, her hands still on his member.

"God, yes. I'm close," he growled, nipping at her neck.

"Good," she replied, her breathing rapid and shallow as he thrust against her. His breath was warm on her neck, her earlobe, and then her mouth as he devoured her in hungry kisses. He pressed the full length of his tongue against her throat and she released a ragged sigh. McCoy groaned against her as she stroked him in rhythm with his thrusting hips. The vibrations made by his vocalizations reverberated through her core, driving her wild. Sabine couldn't have stopped stroking and moving against him if she wanted. All too soon, she felt him buck against her in the final throws and he let out a deep cry of satisfaction. She kissed his forehead as he buried his head against her chest, catching his breath.

After, he made no move to separate and she was content to feel his weight on top of her. He kissed her repeatedly and tightened his grip around her waist.

"How close are you?" he asked her.

"Very," she sighed.

"C'mere," he replied, a fierce look in his eyes. "Tonight, I'll do it right."

He pulled her arms up by the cuffs and again ducked his head through them. He was gentle, both in his kisses and his touch. He didn't try to remove her uniform, instead pushing her panties to the side so he could touch her. Sabine whimpered as his legendary hands made short work of the pressure that had been building within her core. His thumb caressed her hardened nub while he thrust his fingers inside her. She was so wet. Within minutes, he had her crying out as she rocked her head against his shoulder and moved her body erratically against his hand. When she stilled, he brushed her hair away from her forehead and tilted her head up by cupping her chin in his hand. He stared at her intensely as he righted her underwear and uniform once more. When she stopped panting, he gave her a half grin, then kissed her slowly.

"Not so cold now, huh?" he whispered.

"It is not the worst way to keep our body temperatures up," she replied.

"Still a lot we can do. Let's hope we don't run out of ideas before the night is over," he murmured in her ear.

"I could never grow tired of you," she replied and he momentarily stiffened. She realized he was thinking about how she'd "cheated" on him and she wondered if she'd just ruined the evening but after a few seconds, he trailed his mouth up her neck, seeking her lips.

They avoided further conversation by continuing to kiss, holding each other close. He was growing hard again and debating within himself if he wanted to ask her to go further. Even though he'd already made her come with no telepathic repercussions, he remembered from readings done years ago that penetrative sex was different.

Between deep, languid kisses, she spoke.

"I need you to know… I never stopped loving you… And what you think you remember of me… It is not the truth."

McCoy pulled slightly away from her. "What are you talking about?" he asked gruffly. His head felt cloudy, like a veil had fallen over his mind. There was an ache behind his eyes but this one was more of a slow thud, not the angry waves that tended to wash over him.

"I should not do this," she whispered, her eyes wide with worry. "I should not have said anything." She shivered against him and he nuzzled her forehead.

"You're delirious," he murmured, before taking her lower lip in his and sucking gently on it. "We both probably are. We've got to stay awake."

"I am not delirious," she countered, while a voice in her head screamed at her to shut up and go back to enjoying his kisses. "I love you and I need you to remember the truth."

"What truth?" he asked, growing irritated. Nothing she said made sense and the more they talked, the thicker the veil in his mind seemed to grow. He stopped kissing her and pulled away.

"Please," she replied, staring intensely at him. "Please remember! Why do you get headaches? What about all those memories that disappear before you can grab them?"

"How did you know?" he demanded angrily. "What did you do to me?" He pulled his head out from her cuffed arms and she slowly brought them back to her chest.

"It was to save our lives, both of us. Why do you not remember? You promised you would." She couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth.

He recoiled further from her. "You're crazy," he muttered.

She stared at him, hoping to see some sort of recognition dawn on him but when he continued to look at her suspiciously, she sighed.

"No, I am not crazy," she replied sadly. "But I was wrong to say anything. I am sorry." She shook despite herself and McCoy uneasily moved towards her.

"You're hallucinating because of the cold," he tried to explain, both to her and himself. She didn't bother correcting him. He didn't want to touch her but he couldn't let her freeze so he moved closer to her.

"Turn around," he whispered. "Face the fire." She complied and he spooned her, throwing one arm around her. This way, they could keep warm without looking at one another. He pushed her hair away from his face and she pulled in closer to him, feeling a slight hardness against her back. He may have recoiled from what she was trying to tell him, but his body still reacted to hers. Sabine would've traded the physical manifestations of attraction for the reappearance of his real memories in a heartbeat.

"Try to sleep," McCoy commanded her. She didn't respond but he felt her respiration even out. He couldn't remember what they had just argued over but whatever it was had made him deeply uncomfortable. She was dangerous – he'd told Jim as much and somehow, she had just proven it to him even if he couldn't remember how.

Around 2am, both of them were asleep, utterly exhausted. McCoy tried to fight it but he couldn't keep his eyes open and he couldn't get Sabine to wake up. He didn't realize it had stopped raining and was growing warmer. His last conscious thought was how appropriate it would be for them to die together.

* * *

The next morning, McCoy awoke before Sabine to see the storm had passed and sunlight was streaming into the cave. He listened for Sabine's breath, and heard it rising and falling in a steady rhythm. In fact, the temperature in the cave had risen to the point that it was almost uncomfortably warm, what with the dying fire and their bodies entwined. He separated himself from her, untangling all the limbs that had mixed together, all the while trying not to wake her up. Once free, he gently slid away from her, standing up and walking out of the cave, to take in his surroundings. He stopped a few feet outside of the cave and let the sun's heat soak into him. In the daytime, without a cloud in the sky, this planet was beautiful. He turned back to the cave to grab his tricorder and Sabine was there, standing at the mouth of the cave, her communicator in one hand and her tricorder wedged between her arm and torso as she sought to awkwardly carry everything they'd grabbed when leaving the prison. The look on her face was cryptic and he wondered if she had any memory of what had happened the night before. Maybe she could tell him because all he knew was she'd done something to prove to him he was justified in distrusting her. At the same time, he couldn't forget how good it had felt to hold her in his arms, to touch her, kiss her – all the things he'd been trying to avoid from the moment she'd shown up in his life again. Her filthy and torn uniform clung to her in all the right places and he looked away – whatever had come over both of them last night was over. She avoided his eyes and he said nothing to her as he passed by to get his own equipment.

"Latour to Enterprise," he heard her call into her communicator. "Enterprise, come in." She wanted off this miserable planet. She'd almost risked McCoy's sanity last night in an attempt to tell him the truth – what had she been thinking? Did he remember what she'd said? He was avoiding her. Why hadn't she kept her mouth shut? But, oh god, the way he had felt against her. She wanted to scream in frustration. If she had kept her mouth shut, maybe they would still be on the floor of the cave, waking up to feel their bodies pressed against one another, his morning arousal hard against her ba –

"Aye, lass, we hear ya," came a familiar Scottish brogue through significant static.

"Oh, Scotty," Sabine sighed. "Am I happy to hear your voice!"

"And I yours, my bonnie doctor. Is McCoy there with ya?"

"Yes," she said, her jaw clenched. If the engineer noticed the change in her tone, he said nothing.

"I cannae get a good reading on you yet. You'll need to find a clearing or make it to the beach if ya can."

"Okay," she agreed. "I'll comm you when we're in a better location. Oh, and Scotty, tell the captain the Klingons are interfering with the Xurlite attempt to join the Federation."

"Aye. We know. We've been playing hide and seek with a Klingon Bird of Prey for the past coupla days."

She ended the comm and quickly fished for her compass from the med kit she'd managed to sling around her waist upon waking, not bothering to see if McCoy was ready to leave. She assumed he'd heard the comm. Sabine was too scared of what the conversation might look like if she spoke to him. Once she verified their directions, she began marching due south, hoping to find either a sufficient clearing or the beach. Branches snapping told her McCoy was just a few paces behind. As the terrain became more dense and elevated, she had difficulty keeping her tricorder lodged against her. Most everything else had fit in her med kit but she needed to hold her compass, wanted easy access to the communicator, and the damn tricorder kept sliding away from her. It finally fell to the ground and she cursed, stopping to bend down and grab it. The cuffs made her attempt to pick it up cumbersome but a hand darted between hers and grabbed it. McCoy then pushed her gently against a tree as he rearranged her med kit to accommodate the errant tricorder. He avoided her eyes as he worked but when he was done, he looked up at her face.

"Thank you," she said feebly, trying to forget how those hazel eyes had looked at her the night before.

"We gonna talk about last night?" His tone was not friendly, per se, but it lacked the hostility it usually carried when he spoke to her.

"What is there to talk about?" she asked warily. What did he remember?

"Us?" he replied snappishly.

"What about us?"

"What happened last night?" He stared hard at her, trying to read her reaction.

She wasn't sure what he was getting at. Was he asking her if they'd fooled around? Did he really not remember? She assumed, from the way he had avoided looking at her all morning, that, at the very least, he remembered the kissing and touching. If so, he wanted to know what she'd tried to tell him. His mind had defended itself from the truth – something she'd been surprised to see in him but it had probably saved them both from dealing with the dangerous consequences of her words. She was angry at herself for taking such a risk with him and she didn't want to confess what she'd done for fear of causing damage this time around.

"We…were intimate last night," she tried.

"I remember that," he said impatiently and his dismissiveness of it did something to her insides – she hadn't felt this kind of ache in a while. "I wanna know what we talked about. I got upset at you – why?"

"I was delirious," she lied. "You told me to sleep because you knew I was not in the proper mental state." If he was just testing her and actually remembered the conversation, he'd know what she was saying was at least half-accurate.

"What did you say to get me so upset?" He persisted.

"I do not know," she said wearily. She hated lying. Hated that every sentence out of her mouth confirmed his low opinion of her – she did lie to him. She was untrustworthy. She didn't want to be but that didn't really matter, did it? "I was delusional. I cannot remember everything. I just know I upset you. I am sorry."

He pulled her close to him. "I don't know whether to kiss you or accuse you of lying."

"Do not do either," she murmured, even as she yearned for his touch and knew he had every right to call her out for untruths. "If you kiss me, you do it out of lust. If you accuse me of lying, you do it because that is your habit – to assume I am untrustworthy."

She stepped away from him and shook his hand from her arm, turning away from him to keep moving. He wanted to tell her she was wrong. Whatever he felt for her ran deeper than a superficial desire for her body. And she wasn't good at lying which led him to believe she felt like she had to hide something from him. He wanted to know what she thought she needed to conceal and why. He shouldn't have taunted her that first night – some of the things he'd said had been too harsh. And if she thought last night had just been lust – had it been for her? He remembered how she'd almost cried when they started kissing. They'd made a real mess of things now.

"Last night wasn't lust – not for me. And I don't think it was for you, either," McCoy replied as he fell in line behind her again.

"But it was not love," she countered.

He stopped her again and turned her to face him.

"Is that what you want?"

"No. I do not want your love right now," she said impatiently. And she meant it. She didn't want his love as long as he believed she had been unfaithful. As long as his memories were fake, she could not accept anything more than friendship from him. She wanted him to remember. She wanted him to know she hadn't hurt him by cheating. She could never be unfaithful to him. She wanted to be able to talk to him without uttering a single untruth.

He stared at her for another moment before repeating his original question. "What exactly do you want from me?"

"I do not know," she sighed tiredly. "I think I would settle for trust."

She didn't deserve his trust – she knew it. But she wanted it so badly. Wanted to explain that every lie she told him was supposed to be for his own good, even as she felt like a part of her died every time she deceived him.

McCoy sighed as he cupped her chin in his hand. "I want to trust you," he murmured, dipping his face towards hers. "Against every sound judgment within me, I want to believe you and let you back into my heart." He kissed her softly then pulled away. "But you have to meet me halfway. You're hiding something from me. I don't know what and I don't know why. If you won't tell me, I can't trust you, let alone love you."

Sabine had no answer for him besides tears and as the silence between them grew, he shook his head sadly and pushed past her to continue to the clearing. He turned back to her one more time.

"You know, when we were dating at the Academy, you had me convinced there was some dark mystery surrounding you. The language you spoke that hadn't been spoken in centuries – the nightmares – your refusal to talk about the past – the fucking gloves – even your supposed inability to be intimate…all of it had me fooled." He stepped closer to her and she could see the anger in his eyes. "But it turns out the big secret was nothing more than this – you're a bad person. I don't know why you chose me for your sick little game but I'll never forget walking into your dorm room and..." He couldn't finish the thought. "I won't fall for it again. So stop the tears. Stop trying to convince me there's more to you than someone who enjoys hurting others just because she can."

"Is that really what you believe about me?" she cried out, her tears drying but her heart aching.

"What else am I supposed to believe?" he replied wearily. "You don't leave me with any other choice."

They stared one another down. McCoy had hoped his outburst would prompt her to confess whatever she was hiding. Sabine lamented just how effective her memory replacement had been. They were at an impasse and neither would yield. McCoy sighed and turned back to the path they were on and Sabine wordlessly followed him. The rest of their walk was uneventful and painfully silent. Once in the clearing, he took her compass from her so she could flip her communicator open and call Scotty.

Within minutes they were beamed back onto the Enterprise. They stepped off the platform.

"Scotty, I have something fun for you," Sabine said with a brave smile as she held her hands in their cuffs up so he could see them.

"Ah, lass! A present! You shouldna have!"

"I could not help myself."

"Let's have a look at these wee buggers. What happens if they get triggered?"

"Mmm, they dissolve me from the inside out. Ingenious, really." There was a quiver to her voice even as she tried to joke. The memory of watching her cellmate die haunted her and now that they were back on the ship, Sabine could allow herself to feel the fear, exhaustion, and turmoil rolling around inside her.

"Don't worry. We'll get these off without problem," Scotty reassured her as McCoy and Jim passed. McCoy looked away but Sabine was too preoccupied by her conversation with Scotty to pay him heed. He made his way back to his quarters while giving Jim an oral report of their time on the planet, omitting any mention of the…moments…he and Sabine had shared.

"Hey, why aren't you going to med bay?" Jim asked him once he realized the direction their walk was taking.

"I've been in the same clothes the past two days. I think med bay can wait for me to shower and change." McCoy wasn't going to tell Jim his real need to change – he needed to remove the evidence of what they'd done the night before from himself and he wanted to wash the smell of her off of his body – get the taste of her out of his mouth.

"Oh… yeah. Makes sense." Jim was so accustomed to McCoy's insistence on immediately returning to med bay after every mission. Maybe the doctor was turning over a new leaf of self-care.

* * *

Eventually, the Klingons fled Xurlite space. It took several threats from Jim, and a display of firepower on the part of the beleaguered Xurlites, but the Klingons departed and even returned the King's son before running. Jim was just glad he hadn't needed to resort to use of the Enterprise's force. He was also glad to see both doctors back on board safely, though he was disappointed to see not much had changed between them. They still didn't seem to be talking much to one another. But at least Bones wasn't breathing down his neck about how Latour couldn't be trusted. He supposed that was a small victory.


	96. Chapter 96

For three weeks, McCoy and Sabine avoided one another more thoroughly than since she had come aboard. This time, the avoidance wasn't just because of anger or resentment.

There was, of course, the awkward fact of what they had done. Neither doctor wanted to deal with the undeniable proof of their mutual attraction. And no matter how much both of them enjoyed reliving those moments in the cave within the privacy of their own minds, it made seeing one another somewhat excruciating. If they had been willing to converse, both would've quickly found that neither of them was interested in pursuing any kind a romantic relationship. McCoy and Sabine could agree the whole thing had been a mistake – a pleasurable one, perhaps, but not something that should happen again. Unfortunately, since they continued to avoid one another, each was left suspecting the other might want more. But there was more to their mutual need to put distance between themselves.

McCoy couldn't shake the look of sadness in her eyes when he'd asked her to meet him halfway. For years, he had built her up as a monster in his mind and now that they'd been serving together for the past months, he was starting to believe she might not be the evil he'd envisioned. He was remembering why he had loved her so much. But the secrets and the unwillingness to share her burdens with him – that hurt almost as much as the cheating. How was he supposed to ever let her back into his life when so much of what he knew about her pointed to lies and deception? And why, despite all of that, was he still so drawn to her?

For her part, Sabine was ashamed of the risk she'd taken in the cave, trying to tell him about his memories. What if she had harmed him? And who was she to demand that he believe her when all she could do was lie to him? She didn't deserve his trust or his affections, no matter how much she craved both. That he'd been so willing to give them to her if she would just be honest with him had cut her to her core. He wanted to believe her – wanted to give her his heart. And she could not figure out how to accept because she couldn't tell him the truth and living with a lie seemed like too much to bear. She almost wished they could go back to the way things were before Xurl – where they both couldn't stand one another. At least then, they had known exactly where they stood. Sabine wasn't fond of this new grey area they found themselves in.

Left to their own devices, they could have continued ignoring one another indefinitely – after all, it wasn't so different from how they'd behaved for most of Sabine's time aboard. But Jim had other ideas.

"You wanted to see me, Captain?" Sabine hovered at the entrance of Jim's ready room.

"Yeah, come on in, Latour," he replied, giving her a friendly smile. Sabine entered the room and stood, unsure of whether this was a social call or something more serious. You never knew with Jim. But he widened his smile and waved her into a chair. So far, it felt like a more relaxed visit.

"So it looks like we're coming to the end of your first six months," he said to her conversationally. "How's it feel?"

Sabine thought for a moment before answering. The last six months had simultaneously flown by and been the longest of her life. She opted to go with the first thing she'd felt.

"It has been mostly good," she said. "I have enjoyed the work."

"But?" Jim had caught her hesitation before answering.

Sabine wrestled with how much to tell him.

"Sabs, it's me. And this is off the record," he prodded.

"It is just…working with him is difficult."

"You knew it would be," he replied gently, as though he hadn't masterminded the whole venture.

"Yes…but I did not know it would be this hard," she countered.

Jim looked concerned. "Has he done anything to hurt you? Professionally or otherwise?" Jim hadn't failed to notice that something had shifted since the doctors returned from Xurl. While they continued to act much the same as they had before, in terms of avoiding one another, McCoy's silence in lieu of complaining about Sabine spoke volumes. Jim now worried the silence wasn't a positive sign but an indicator that irreparable damage had been done.

Sabine looked at her friend in surprise. "Oh no. I am sorry. I did not mean to cast unnecessary dispersions on Doctor McCoy. I simply meant there is a difference between knowing something will suck and actually experiencing the suck…if you will."

Jim smiled at her colloquialism. "All the same, has he done anything to inhibit your work?"

 _Besides drive me to distraction because I waffle between loving and hating him but I cannot tell him the truth?_  She wanted to reply. But instead:

"No. We do not talk if we can help it but that does not prevent me from doing my job."

"So this whole not-talking thing. What was it like when it was just the two of you on Xurl?"

"It was awkward," she replied, her face an enigma. She did not elaborate.

Jim sighed. "What I really need to know is if you want to stay with us here on the Enterprise or if this is it."

* * *

McCoy was wrapping up his shift in med bay when Kirk commed him and asked to meet in the officers' lounge once alpha shift had completed. McCoy agreed and thought little more of it till he entered the lounge and found it practically empty save for a few engineering officers at one table and Latour at a table with two glasses and a bottle of dark drink. McCoy turned to leave but she caught his eye and motioned for him to join her. As he approached, he realized the bottle was his favorite bourbon.

"I asked Jim to help me get you here tonight," she said as McCoy arrived at her table. "Please, sit," she continued, gesturing to the chair across from her. He acquiesced.

"What's this all about?" he asked warily as she poured them each a finger. She handed him his glass and he nodded his thanks. "Jim tell you which bourbon to bring? How'd you even find this stuff out here?"

He winced slightly as a memory floated to the surface of his conscience. He and Jim had shared drinks together so many times. In this very room even. But the memory was from the Academy. Jim waiting for him after a shift at the clinic. To talk to him about her – they'd had a fight? No.

Before he could think about it more, the memory was gone, and all that remained was a familiar throbbing. Sabine observed him with watchful eyes. If this conversation went well, she'd ask him about the headaches, she vowed to herself.

"The captain did not tell me – he did mention drinks would probably help but I chose the bourbon because I remembered what you like. As to how I got it, that is perhaps a story for another time," she replied, still watching him for signs of discomfort.

"Did Cass get this for you? Wonder how many regs she broke to get it?" he cracked before taking a sip. His satisfied exhalation told her she'd chosen well.

"Not Cass, but I imagine more than a few regulations were broken."

"You two still not speaking to each other?" McCoy cocked an eyebrow at Sabine. She wondered how he knew they were on the outs but figured if he hadn't heard it directly from Cass, surely he'd heard about their issues through the gossip chain. Nothing was a secret for long on the Enterprise – nothing except the one thing she wished wasn't still a secret.

"We are not," she replied ruefully. "But that is not why I asked to meet with you." McCoy was instantly on edge again.

"And why is that?"

"Jim wants a decision from me as to whether I will remain on the Enterprise now that the trial period is done." He looked at her, puzzled, and she continued. "I asked you here tonight to determine what you want – how we should handle our situation."

"What do you mean?" He felt defensive. She didn't have to tell him that if she left, he'd lose M'Benga and the nurses she'd brought with her from Yorktown. He supposed some part of him had known that sooner or later, they'd have to stop pretending like the other didn't exist but if she intended to leave the ship, would it matter?

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked with earnestness. "If you do, I will go. And I will ask M'Benga and the nurses to stay. I think they are happy here – they will probably choose the Enterprise if I urge them to. So if you want me gone, you will only need to find one new doctor."

She was giving him what he'd wanted ever since Jim had proposed bringing her aboard. She would be out of his life. Wasn't that exactly what he'd hoped for? Then why did he feel so empty inside at the thought of her disappearing?

"What if I don't want you to leave?" he asked cautiously.

"Then we must find an alternative to the way things are currently. We cannot continue like this." She seemed mildy surprised at his question.

"What do you propose?" He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"A crazy, new thing called friendship," Sabine replied with a wry smirk but she then returned to a more serious stance. "I know how difficult it has been for you, allowing me on board. I do not pretend to think asking for your friendship is an easy request. But I would like to stay on the ship and I can only imagine doing so if I do not have to continue avoiding you."

Sabine opted not to mention that Jim had made it clear to her he would only sign her papers to stay on board if she and McCoy started talking to one another. As annoyed as she'd been by Jim's conditions, she knew McCoy would be apoplectic.

He observed her in silence, taking another sip from his glass. She interpreted his silence as skepticism.

"I am not asking we become best friends. I am simply hoping we will stop ignoring one another. I cannot change the past and for that, I am sorry," her mouth twisted unintentionally as she thought about how she could actually change his version of the past. But the consequences of an action like that taken without his consent wiped the expression off her face. "I would like to feel comfortable asking you for assistance and vice versa. Perhaps, eventually, we will come to trust one another as individuals, even look forward to being around one another. But for now, I would be happy with basic civility."

Her eyes were wide. She wouldn't plead with him but Sabine really wanted this. She wanted it as much as she wanted his memory refreshed. She needed to prove to herself they could overcome the failures in their relationship without any telepathic intervention or romantic feelings – she had to know they could be friends just for the sake of being friends. She would find a way to live the rest of her life accepting the lies he believed about her if it meant they could somehow move beyond ignoring one another and find common ground.

McCoy felt a pit in his stomach. He'd made her first tour of duty on the Enterprise miserable. Maybe a part of him had realized how unhappy she'd been but he'd pretty much exclusively focused on his own anger and sadness. That she was giving him a chance to right those wrongs rather than leaving outright touched something in him. Not only was she giving him a second chance, she was asking for him to give her a chance, as though she had been the one behaving like a jackass for the last six months.

Finally, he spoke.

"You're asking me to forgive you and I ought to be beggin' your pardon. I don't know why you'd want to be friends when I haven't given you much reason to think I'm a friend worth having but the least I can do is agree to your terms."

He tried to keep his tone casual but the look in his eyes belied his cavalier tone. She broke into a large smile.

"I will do my best to keep you from regretting this," she murmured, finally taking a sip from her own glass. She winced.

"That is strong," she gasped, before coughing.

"Indeed," he commented. "So how does this whole friendship thing work?"

"I have no idea," she confessed, a mix of honesty and haplessness radiating from her eyes. "I had not thought much beyond trying to convince you friendship would be a valid option. I did not expect you to agree so quickly." She paused and McCoy looked down at his drink.

"I've heard rumors that a night of drinking tends to foster friendliness between colleagues," McCoy observed.

"Are you suggesting we get drunk?" Latour asked in fake surprise.

"I would never." He gave her a tiny smile and she returned it with that twist of her mouth. "But we do have this nice bottle of bourbon and nowhere to be for several hours. Maybe a drink or two?"

"Okay," she agreed, giving the glass before her a dubious look. McCoy couldn't be certain but he got the feeling she wasn't a fan of bourbon. Oh well, that meant more for him. He'd repay her with a bottle of Risan wine one of these days – he was pretty sure that was still her preferred alcoholic beverage.

He thought about the mission to Xurl. It had been a turning point – without what had happened in that cave, he couldn't be sure that they would be talking today. Chances were good Sabine would have left the ship had that away mission not gone sideways. They had each returned with frustrations but the dynamic had shifted from antagonists. Even though they'd avoided one another for the last few weeks, he suspected that she, like himself, had realized there was a mutual interest of some sort that still existed. He resolved to do what Cass and Jim had been hassling him to do from the beginning – give her the second chance she deserved. But this time, the focus was on friendship. Nothing romantic. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to trust her enough to let her back into his heart like that. He shook his head to get the idea of Sabine as a girlfriend out of it.

Another thought hit him, and he looked over at her. "While I'm thinking of it, let's get you off the Gamma shift starting after the next staff meeting."

She looked at him with pleasant, unfaked shock. "Really?"

"Yeah, M'Benga keeps telling me he'd prefer Gamma to Beta. And as my second in command, we should have more overlap with one another." It was his way of apologizing for putting her on the graveyard shift and she knew it. She accepted the apology graciously.

"I would be happy to switch shifts – whatever you think will be best for med bay as a whole."

Sabine was too polite to point out his pettiness in making her take the Gamma shift. She would couch any concessions he made to her as decisions he made for the good of med bay rather than as a rectification of wrongs committed against her.

"Thank you," he held her gaze, hoping she'd understand he was thanking her for more than just a willingness to switch shifts. Her quiet nod encouraged him. They clinked glasses and each took another sip. Sabine hated bourbon and every taste burned her mouth and throat. But if this was what it took to make inroads, so be it.

He didn't miss the screwed-up face she made as she swallowed another sip of her drink. Yep, she was definitely not a fan of bourbon.

"I take it this isn't your favorite drink," he commented as he gestured to his own glass.

"No, I cannot say it is," she replied, her throat still scratchy from the burn left by the brown liquor.

He motioned for the bartender and asked for some ice. When it came, he dropped a cube in her glass.

"Try this," he recommended. "The water will cut the taste a bit. Also, take smaller sips. This isn't wine."

"Okay," she agreed. And while the ice helped, she was still pretty certain she'd never like bourbon. But she took another, smaller sip to give herself the courage she needed for what she was about to do.

She set her glass down. "Can I ask you something?" she said with a hesitancy that set him on alert all over again.

"Depends," he replied. "What is it?"

"I have noticed sometimes you get headaches," she said carefully.

He sighed. She was a doctor. He might as well tell her. Hell, maybe she'd come up with something because he hadn't found a solution and no one else had either. All his scans always came back normal.

"Yeah, I get these…well, they're not quite migraines, but they aren't far from it," he explained.

"Do you know what causes them?" she asked with a curiosity that he assumed arose from her medical background.

"Well, that's the funny thing," he began, looking at her and wondering just how forthcoming he should be. "Used to be, they were just triggered by this weird sense of déjà-vu – someone would say or do something and it would remind me of things that had never happened. And, for the life of me, the so-called memories are gone before I can so much as write them down. But ever since we left Yorktown, they seem to also be triggered by stress."

"Stress?" she asked, and something in her tone told him she wouldn't buy anything but the truth. So McCoy decided to tell her. Might as well test the bounds of friendship right away.

"Well, yeah. Thing is, I'm fairly used to a certain amount of stress, right?" She nodded her agreement. They were doctors on a star ship, after all. If they couldn't handle high levels of stress, they wouldn't be there.

"So when I say stress, I mean stress above and beyond what we normally face," he wondered how much he'd have to spell out for her.

"What, exactly, has been so stressful for you since –" she broke off suddenly as she realized what had changed since they left Yorktown.

"It is me, then? I am your stressor?" She didn't seem nearly as surprised as he had expected and not the least bit offended.

"Quite a start to the friendship, huh?" he said with a wry smile. "You stress me out to the point of near-migraines –"

"And you have terrible taste in alcohol," she finished with her own half-smile.

They gave one another an appraising look. She spoke up once more.

"I do not have a solution to your headaches other than this," she reached over to him but before she made contact with the bare skin on his hand, she looked up at him with a question in her eyes. He nodded briefly. She touched him and the traces of the headache he'd been battling since sitting down with her vanished.

"I suppose that's better than nothing," he murmured as she pulled her hand away. She gave no indication of pain or discomfort and he wondered what she had done, exactly. It was clear she'd used her abilities but he wasn't sure how and he really wasn't sure he wanted to know. It sufficed that she had removed the pain.

From that moment forward, if he had a headache when she was around, and most of his headaches seemed to happen when she was there, she would touch him to remove the pain. 80% of the time, he welcomed her touch but there were days when the last thing he wanted was for her to get any closer to him and on those days, he'd wave her away, snapping at her to keep her voodoo to herself. While he was frustrated that there was still no solution to why he was getting the headaches, he was grateful (usually) that she'd found a way to bypass the pain, at least temporarily.

For her part, Sabine saw taking his pain on as part of the penance she owed for having ever tampered with his memories in the first place. She trained herself to keep her features bland anytime she reached out to take his headaches away though she was surprised by the ferocity of some of them. But momentary pain was worth it if they could grow their friendship. And maybe, if she was lucky, he'd trust her someday.

* * *

Of course, a night of drinking led to a morning hung-over (at least for McCoy – he noted that she was annoyingly perky the next day at their staff meeting) and the transition from suspicion and anger to friendship and trust was not an overnight event. Sabine switched to the Beta shift which begat significantly more time spent with McCoy. She should have realized the increased time together in med bay would lead to more conflicts regarding how the place should be run.

During one particularly heated argument over the organization of drugs within the supply closet, the two stood facing one another, both red-faced and angry. McCoy was ready to make an especially biting and personal disparagement when he stopped short. Hadn't the whole point of changing her shift been to foster better relations between the two of them? In the end, did it really matter how the fucking closet was arranged? He didn't use the damn thing nearly as much as the nurses and they all seemed fine with Sabine's new system. He hung his head for a moment and looked up at the other doctor, her eyes still flashing.

"You know what?" he stated. "Fine. Keep it this way. I can be a little bit of an asshole about this place but if you guys like the new set-up, then go with it."

Sabine's eyes had softened as he spoke but she didn't miss a beat. "You should not sell yourself short – you are a huge asshole," she said loud enough for the staff assembled around them to hear. She smiled that twisted half-smile of hers.

For a moment, it felt like the collective air had been sucked out of everyone in med bay. No one talked to McCoy like that when he was on duty. The captain was the only one who ever joked with the cranky doctor while he was working and even he knew better than to poke the man during an argument. But McCoy just looked at Sabine for a moment and then shook his head, chuckling.

"You're no bed of roses either, sweetheart," he muttered while the rest of the staff sighed in relief. He looked around at them.

"What the hell are y'all looking at? What do you think this is? Holovid night? Get back to your stations."

Ultimately, both of them understood their differences of opinions were not sufficient to break what they were trying to achieve. As time went on, they grew more comfortable around one another and McCoy stopped harping on every difference between her style of management and his own. He was wise enough to know she had most of med bay on her side in any given argument over how the place should be organized and run. The more time they spent working together, the more laughter and jokes became normal in med bay. McCoy went from being someone the nurses feared to someone they respected (even though they all still avoided him before his first cup of coffee – some things would never change). Everyone knew he had a fierce temper and little patience. But his growing friendship with Sabine was teaching them there was more to the man than Southern colloquialisms and angry rants. There were, however, still plenty of angry rants, many of which were directed at Sabine:

"So, you're tellin' me you submitted everything for the week to Jim without checking with me to make sure I'd finished my reports? Did you suddenly get promoted to CMO?"

"I was trying to be helpful. I looked your reports over. They appeared complete. In the future, I will check with you first."

"Damn straight you will. I'm still in charge here!"

"I never said you were not. Seems like someone is a little insecure about his position. What makes you think I would even be interested in being CMO?" There was a playful light in her eyes and it annoyed him. He hated when she got the upperhand in a conversation.

"I'm not insecure about my job. Stop trying to change the subject!"

"What were you complaining about again? I forgot," Sabine retorted with a twist of her mouth.

"Don't be a smartass," McCoy growled.

"Oh, that is an angry growl," she replied. "Let us put this aside, mmm?"

"Learn to use some goddamn contractions instead of being such a pain in my ass."

"Ta gueule, salaud!" she sassed back at him.

"No one understands your made-up jibberish. Just curse me out in Standard, you coward," he griped.

"Okay, jackass," she retorted.

He was so irritated, he stalked away to his office and slammed the door.

His rants were increasingly followed by apologies, even if the apologies happened in the privacy of the office:

"Sorry about yelling at you on the floor earlier."

"No. You were right. After all these years, I really should know how to make proper contractions." She smirked at him.

"You gonna take this seriously or not?"

"You always yell. I do not let it bother me anymore."

"I don't always yell." He furrowed his brow at her.

"Are we going to argue about  _this_  now? Maybe we should move onto the floor so everyone can hear. Otherwise, it does not feel like a real fight."

"I really dislike you sometimes," McCoy grumbled, with just the slightest hint of a smile.

Sabine rolled her eyes in response. "I know," she replied. "Everyone knows how much you dislike me." Her words caused him to frown. It was true. He'd made it clear months ago how much he hated her. Even now people were surprised to see them speak cordially to one another. She saw his face fall and gave him a half grin and a light punch on the shoulder. "Go on, get out. You will be late for poker night."

"You're not supposed to know about that."

"Mmm-hmm, and you are not supposed to have a stash of Romulan ale in here."

"That reminds me. I should do a random locker check soon. Chekov's bound to have some good liquor."

"Quit stealing from the poor boy!"

"He's too young to drink!"

"He is not. He will be there drinking with all of you tonight."

"Seriously, how do you know about poker night?"

"Oh my god," Sabine said, rolling her eyes again. "It is the worst-kept secret on this ship. All of you, except Spock, will show up hungover before Alpha shift tomorrow, begging for anti-hangover hypos. Now leave. Some of us have work to do."

* * *

What began as a way to get the two of them in a room together became a ritual of sorts for the two doctors. Once every other week or so, depending on their schedules, they'd either meet in their shared (his) office or the officers' lounge, and share a few drinks while recapping any notable events from the past weeks or, more often than not, to share random stories with one another. Sabine even discovered she was acquiring a taste for bourbon as time wore on. But mainly, both of them came to look forward to the informal meetings as a way to reconnect and deepen their friendship.

"I am dancing with him, yes? Naralians are tall so my perception is a bit skewed but I feel something against my stomach so I look up at him and ask, 'Is that your knee?' He just smiled in response. I was mortified."

McCoy burst out laughing. "Seriously?" he gasped.

"Absolutely," she replied solemnly, trying to hide her smile.

They were in his office after the end of her shift. He had come back to meet her for their weekly drinks. He sat at his desk, his legs propped up on it while she was reclining on the couch across from him, her legs resting on one arm of the couch and crossed at the ankles.

"Jesus, Latour, maybe we shouldn't let you anywhere near med bay. Just how bad is your grasp of anatomy?"

"You say that, but have you ever felt an erect Naralian penis against your stomach while dancing?"

"Can't say that I have…" McCoy interlaced his fingers behind his head and leaned back with a lackadaisical grin on his face.

"Yes, well, it feels like a knee. I stand by that," Sabine grumbled.

McCoy stopped chuckling. "What was it like, dealing with so many different genders on Nara II?"

"Mmm, it was interesting. Their males and females are very similar to humans – the genitals are almost identical. But did you know that for one of their genders, the genitals are in the crook of the elbow?"

"No way," he replied, pulling in closer to the desk. Now this he wanted to hear.

"Yes way," she replied. "That particular gender favors longer sleeves, for obvious reasons." He looked at her quizzically. Apparently it wasn't so evident to him. She sighed and explained. "A slight breeze comes along and all of a sudden, they are ready to go at it. And there was another gender with sexual organs located where our belly buttons would be. It was fascinating."

"Wait, back to the whole elbow thing….are the genitals…exposed like human men or internal like human females?"

"For both the elbow genitals and the belly button ones, it depended. They were internal when the beings were not aroused. They became external during arousal. Here, let me show you," Sabine grabbed a PADD, typed in a search for anatomy sketches of the various Naralian genders and slid the PADD across McCoy's desk. She returned to her reclining position on the couch after.

"No kidding. That's something. Could those genders…I mean….did they interact with humans sexually?"

"Oh yes," she replied, rolling onto her side and bending her knees so she could curl her legs onto the seat of the couch and face him. "It took some adjustment on my part but it was still sex. It made me appreciate how similar things are throughout the galaxy. Sex, in whatever form or position the interaction takes, is still just sex."

He looked at her appreciatively. Sabine had been surprised at how nonjudgmental McCoy's reaction had been to her time as a courtesan on Nara II. She had expected some sort of moral disapproval but he'd been supportive and curious. Maybe she didn't know him as well as she had once thought. Had they both changed since the Academy or had she always been in error to think he would look down on someone choosing to enter the sex work profession?

"You're a braver man than I could ever be," he mused.

"Not much of a man – more a woman," she corrected him.

"You knew what I meant."

"Yes, I did. But I do think you would like Nara II. They are a very kind and generous species. And they have a good sense of humor."

"Sounds like it. I should go someday."

"You should. I would like to go back," she said softly, lost in thought.

"You miss it?"

"I do. I miss Adjoa too." She realized she had said too much right after the words slipped out.

"Why did you two leave?"

"It was time to move on," she said evasively, shifting her body so she was on her back again, only her profile visible to him. "We were each ready for new opportunities."

"Uh-huh," he replied, not buying it for a second. "Is this one of those things you refuse to talk about?" He had gotten acclimated to conversations taking a sudden dead end with Sabine. "You know, it used to drive me nuts when you'd get like this back at the Academy."

"I know," she breathed, looking over at him with earnestness in her eyes. "I am sorry. Talking about certain parts of my past is hard for me."

"Yeah, I get it," he replied, his eyes reflecting his disappointment and sorrow that she would not open up to him – not that he deserved it; he knew he had more work to do in order to prove his worthiness as a friend and confidant. He hadn't forgotten their conversation on Xurl and how dejected she had looked when he asked her to tell him what she was hiding. "I'd take offense, but I know it's not just me. You don't open up to just anyone, do you?"

"No, I suppose I do not," she replied.  _Once, I told you everything. And you accepted it. I wish you could remember._  For an instant, she was hit with a longing to go back to what they had shared for the briefest of moments before leaving the Academy. She pushed the feeling down. Focusing on the past would do her no good. She needed to appreciate what they had now.

"Want more wine?" he asked, changing the subject and gesturing to the bottle of Risan wine he'd brought with him to the office, in anticipation of their weekly drinking time.

"Yes, thank you," she replied as she sat up, grateful for both the wine and a change of subject. They had come so far so quickly in their friendship but the sadness in his eyes when he had pointed out her refusal to tell him about her past had lodged itself just under her ribs, one more pain she would carry around until the day he would remember the truth – if that day ever came.

* * *

"All this time and I've never been here before," McCoy commented as he took in Sabine's quarters.

"Mmm, yes," she replied, unsure of how to politely point out first, that she'd never been to his quarters either, and second, that they'd never spent any time outside the med bay or away teams with one another until deciding to bury the hatchet and attempt friendship. Rather than say anything further, she watched him as his eyes roved her room and felt a beam of satisfaction inside as she saw acceptance and approval in his face.

"You like books," he commented, nodding his head to the shelves in her common area, filled with old books.

"I do," she murmured. "They are easier on my eyes than staring at my PADD for hours on end." She kept to herself how much the smell of a book could remind her of her former life.

"Same for me," he replied with a grin. Something else caught his eye. "What's that?" he asked, making his way over to a statuette on her dresser.

"Oh. It is a replica of an ancient statue by Auguste Rodin. The Eternal Idol. A friend from Nara II sent it to me after I left." She smiled at the memory of opening Madame Bianye's package. They had spent a lot of time together appreciating terran art but she would never truly know how the madam had ascertained this was her favorite sculpture.

"It's…breathtaking," McCoy replied, having difficulty finding an appropriate word – sexy, erotic – those were better ways to describe it but he wasn't ready to use those words with her.

"I imagine it is a bit…sensuous for a sculpture but the first time I saw it, I was awestruck," she replied thoughtfully.

"You saw it? The original?"

She nodded her head, realizing if he dug too deep, he'd have a lot of questions as to how she managed to see the original. But she didn't care.

"Yes. If you can believe it, the original was even more divine. It captured a perfect moment between lovers…" Sabine trailed off, aware of the fact that the conversation had taken a turn into an unexpected and perhaps uncomfortable area.

"So," McCoy said, turning away from the sculpture, perhaps sensing the same awkwardness Sabine had felt, "where do you want to set up?"

"Is here okay?" she asked, gesturing to the table in the corner of her living area.

"Yeah, sure," he replied quickly, coming over and pulling out a chair. He began to unpack the bag he'd brought with him. PADD after PADD filled the table.

"Would you like something to drink?" Sabine asked.

"What do you have?"

"Water, juices, coffee, and bourbon, of course," she replied with a smile.

"Let's save the bourbon for if we work this out," he replied, gesturing to the PADDs with a smile on his lips as well. "Water's fine for now."

She brought him a glass of water and sat down across from him. For the next few hours, they labored to ensure a report they had written had not been preempted by anyone else in one of the several journals they poured over. If someone had beat them to the punch, they'd have to either scrap the report or find a new angle to focus on. For the past several weeks, both had been sharing research with one another on the various immune systems of aliens they had come across in their deep space travels and their joint report was almost complete and ready to send out for publication.

"I cannot possibly read another article," Sabine sighed, as she gently tossed a PADD on the empty chair beside her. McCoy smiled at how she had curled herself almost into a ball in her seat, her knees at the same level as her chest. He'd watched her over the past three hours as she'd moved around in her chair, trying to find the perfect spot, almost like a dog or cat choosing their preferred resting place in the sun.

"You can take down five men at a time but you've been felled by a handful of PADDs," McCoy replied, a sparkle in his tired eyes.

"You have found my weak spot. I cannot read article after article for hours on end. Not without some sort of distraction," she responded.

"Do you need music?" he asked, remembering how she liked to research in the lab.

"It would not hurt," she sighed, standing up and rolling her shoulders. "But maybe I just need to move around a bit. Are you ready for that bourbon?"

"I won't say no to one glass – just one," he replied, smiling. "Don't go getting me drunk just to get out of preemption checking."

"Who, me?" she asked with fake innocence, as she grabbed a bottle of the brown liquor.

"What do you want to listen to?" he asked as he browsed the music collection on her room computer.

"Something with a lively beat. I am not picky," she replied as she handed him a glass.

McCoy took a sip of his bourbon and chose some Andorian samba music before returning to his chair.

"Good choice," Sabine murmured, looking up from the PADD she had resumed reading.

They started browsing articles again and Sabine began tapping her foot to the beat. Then she began swaying in her seat, and finally she stood up, PADD in hand, and began dancing around the room as she read. McCoy ignored her at first but his eyes were eventually drawn to her as she moved about.

"Come here," he finally sighed, standing up and moving towards her. She stopped dancing and looked at him in surprise.

"One dance," he replied to her unasked question. "One dance, then we either get back to work or call it a night."

"Okay," she said, still uncertain but game for having a partner. She set her PADD down and a new song started.

"Do you know the Andorian samba?" she asked.

Rather than answer her, he took her in his arms and began moving.

"Mmm, I suppose that is a yes," she whispered. They moved silently together, both doing their best to ignore any feelings of attraction or desire. As the music swelled and they moved against each other, both were painfully aware of how close they were standing, of their hands in each other's, and of every move that brought their bodies into contact. He spun her out and brought her back into his arms. She moved her feet to his lead, following him around the room and mirroring his moves. She finally let herself look him in the eye and, sensing her gaze, he brought his eyes down to hers. Lifetimes could have passed between their mutual stare. Entire books could've been written about the thoughts racing through their minds. But as the music faded and they stopped moving, he stepped back.

"I should probably go," he said, his voice thick, even as he made no further move to separate.

"Of course," she replied huskily, also reluctant to let go. "It is late."

He finally released her. "I'll let you know if I find anything," he said, nodding over to the PADDs.

"Yes," she responded, annoyed by the flush she could feel on her cheeks. "I will do the same."

He packed up quickly and gave her a final glance. "Sleep well."

"You too."

He left her room and took in a gulp of air once in the ship corridor, leaning against the wall and rubbing his forehead. Why had he let himself dance with her? He should have known what it would do to him. McCoy sighed. He knew his dreams that night would be filled with a certain copper-haired beauty. On the other side of the door, Sabine leaned against the wall and sank down to the ground, holding her head in her hands. She had promised herself she wouldn't let things like this happen. They were friends. Nothing more. And it was better that way for as long as he couldn't remember the truth. She needed to be more careful when they were together – needed to keep things solely platonic. Still, she couldn't help but feel a warmth in her gut as she thought about how it had felt to be in his arms. There were better dancers – even here on the Enterprise – but no amount of skill could match the way he made her feel inside when he held her close.

* * *

"If you are not going to come at me with all you have, this will not work," Sabine scolded McCoy. "You cannot pull your punches."

"I'm sorry. I just can't hit you," he replied, irritated. "You're my colleague. And I hate fighting."

"One step away from using 'You are a girl' as an excuse," she retorted. "Now man up and come at me."

"Latour –" he began to complain but she cut him off.

"You asked for this, remember? You are the one who asked if I could help you improve your technique. What did you think that would entail?"

"I didn't think it would involve you making me punch you in the face," he answered, exasperated.

"I asked you to try punching me in the face. No one said anything about your ability to succeed." Now she was goading him on and he knew it.

They were in the ship's recreation center an hour before Alpha shift was to begin. For the last half hour Sabine had been trying to get McCoy to throw an actual punch so she could show him how to block. She was losing her patience.

"Okay," he finally grumbled, sensing her mounting annoyance. "If you get hurt, I told you so."

"If I get hurt, it will be a miracle," she snapped back. She was starting to get under his skin. Good. If that's what it took…

He put his arms up and she mirrored his stance. They circled one another warily and he made his move, bringing his right hand across to punch her. But her reflexes were quick and she caught his hand with her own, twisting it and stepping around and behind him.

"Very nice," she praised him. "That was much better. Do you understand what I did to block?"

"Not a clue," he muttered. "How do you move so fast?"

"A lot of training," she replied. "Now watch." She ran through her block again more slowly so he could see what she'd done. "You try," she prompted him.

"To block you?"

"Yes. Otherwise, I will punch you in the face."

"When you put it that way…"

They took their positions and she made her move. He caught her arm and spun it around her back as she had shown him.

"Talk about pulling your punches," he noted as he held her arm behind her.

"What? Did you want me to come at you full speed and full power?"

He thought about it for a moment. "No," he admitted.

"If we practice enough and you continue to improve, I will not hold back," she replied, turning her face to look at him.

"Incentive," he responded wryly. "If I just keep at this, one day you'll actually punch me."

"You never know," she smiled. "Maybe you will punch me."

"Shoulda started this nine months ago when I actually wanted to punch you," he muttered, the words out of his mouth before he realized their implications. But she laughed in response.

"Just pretend I am Jim," she told him as they squared off against one another again.

"No one deserves that kind of hostility," he retorted.

They continued working another 20 minutes. At the end, they were lying on the ground, practicing how to get out from under an attacker. Sabine was on top of McCoy.

"No, more like this," she instructed him, moving off of him and lying beside him. "Watch my shoulder." She did the move she was trying to teach him. "Do you need me to show you again?"

"I think I got it."

"Okay," she replied, straddling him again. "Ready?" She looked down at him, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Go."

He rolled his shoulder as she had shown him, grabbing her hand and flipping her off of him. Now he was on top of her, his knee in her back.

"Like that?"

"Pretty much," she said, her voice muffled by the mat. He lifted his knee and she rolled over, facing him. For a moment, as she caught her breath, they stared at each other – her lying down as he knelt beside her. Her mind raced as she watched him breathing, his hair messy, his arms bare in a short-sleeve Starfleet tee. He smelled so good. A little sweaty, but that familiar mix of surgical soap and musk she associated with him. Sabine had to remind herself not to reach out and touch his forearm no matter how much she wanted to. He tried to distract himself from watching her chest rise and fall as she inhaled and exhaled. But he couldn't look at her face either, her rosy cheeks reminding him of all the times at the Academy they'd pulled away from one another breathlessly after a romantic tryst. Her hair was up in a haphazard bun but he still wanted to brush the stray curls that had escaped off her forehead. He restrained himself.

"I think that is enough for today," she said, breaking the silence that had begun to grow awkward.

"You guys could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife," a voice called out. Both Sabine and McCoy groaned as they got up from the mat.

"Shut up, Jim," Sabine grumbled while McCoy muttered something considerably more off-color at his friend.

"What?" he replied to them both, good naturedly. "I'm not allowed to point out the obvious?" He had been running laps on the track upstairs throughout their session. All around them, others were working out. The three friends made their way out of the rec room.

They all took the turbolift to the deck that housed officers' quarters and Jim continued to tease the two doctors relentlessly.

"I'm just saying – if you guys are gonna put on a show for everyone, you should charge tickets."

"Your next physical will be so painful," Sabine replied through gritted teeth.

"Ah, come on. You're supposed to be the nice one," Jim responded.

"Mmm-hmm. That is why he is doing your next check-up," Sabine retorted, nodding her head to McCoy. He cracked his knuckles in response as Jim stared at him.

"That's not fair," Jim complained to Sabine. "You're my doctor."

"Yes, and I just realized I have a prior engagement during our next appointment. Doctor McCoy will be more than happy to fill in. After all, you were his patient before you were mine." McCoy smiled to show his agreement. It was going to be very satisfying to stab Jim in the neck with a hypo or ten.

"You don't even know when our next appointment is, do you?"

"Does it matter?" she answered sweetly as the turbolift doors opened to their deck. The three shuffled out and Sabine turned to Jim. "Make any more comments like that in front of everyone in the rec center and I will destroy you the next time we practice, understood?" Her tone was light but her eyes were dark.

"Got it," Jim said quickly, putting his arms up to indicate his innocence. "No more sex jokes, I promise."

"Good. See you later," Sabine said to both men, heading towards her quarters, which were at the opposite end of the hallway from either of theirs.

Both men watched her walk away.

"She's gonna kick your ass anyway, you know that, right?" McCoy murmured to Jim.

"Oh yeah. She always does."

The two men began walking to their rooms.

"Her training is beyond anything Starfleet offers," McCoy noted. Jim simply nodded.

McCoy stopped walking and turned to his friend. Jim stopped as well, looking at the doctor expectantly.

"Jim, do you trust her?"

Jim sighed. They'd had variations of this conversation so many times though it had been awhile. He was disappointed to hear his best friend still question whether Latour should be allowed on board.

"Bones, we've been through this. Latour's not a threat to Starfleet. We'd be lucky to have ten more of her around the fleet."

"I'm not asking because I think she's a threat," McCoy replied impatiently. "I'm asking you, as a friend, to tell me I'm not wrong to trust her. You appear to know more about her than anyone else on board, besides maybe M'Benga. You know my past with her. I wanna know what you really think of her."

Jim looked at McCoy with a new appreciation. He bit his tongue to keep from reminding Bones that they'd had a very similar conversation to this one years ago at the Academy. Instead, he took a moment before answering.

"I think she's one of the best people I know. I brought her on board hoping you two would get along and I'm happy to see it happening. You know I'd never unnecessarily risk the safety of this ship or her crew. I hope you also know I'd never push you to be friends with someone I didn't implicitly trust."

His answer seemed to appease McCoy and the two friends began walking down the corridor again. Jim wished he could get Bones to remember what had really happened. So many questions his friend was wrestling with would disappear if McCoy would only remember the truth. He wished Sabine would just tell him what the loophole was. If he could prod his friend towards it… But he knew she wouldn't tell him because she didn't want him to interfere. Bones had to figure it out on his own.


	97. Chapter 97

Sabine awoke with a start, aware of a repeated buzzing noise. She looked at her clock. It was early – before Alpha shift. Who would be trying to visit her quarters right now? She sat up in bed and pulled the covers off of herself, checking to make sure she was decent. While telling the computer to admit whoever was on the other side of the doors to her quarters, she wrapped a robe around herself, not wanting the captain or any other man to catch her in her boy shorts. But the person waiting to get into her room was Uhura.

"Ny, what are you doing here? Do you know what time it is?" she asked blearily, rubbing her eyes while the other woman sat down next to her on the couch.

"Wake up, sleepy! It's your birthday and I have an amazing surprise for you!"

Sabine groaned. She didn't want any surprises today or any other day. Surprises tended to go badly and she was in such a good place right now. Besides, she'd already made plans for her day off. But the look in her friend's eyes made it clear she was going to need to rethink curling up with a novel and some Risan wine.

"What did you do? I don't like that gleam in your eye," she grumbled.

"You're not a morning person, are you? No matter, get dressed – in civvies. We're headed to the holodeck."

Nyota's words brought Sabine to attention. "The holodeck?" She was even more apprehensive now. Sabine wasn't especially fond of the newest bit of technology offered on the Enterprise-A. She, along with the other doctors in med bay, had treated enough injuries stemming from holodeck "accidents" to have developed a healthy suspicion of the place. Sabine was pretty sure you could get an STI just from standing in the holodeck for any amount of time, based solely on the patients she'd treated.

"Don't look at me like that," Nyota complained. "Just give this a chance, okay? And hurry. I told Scotty we'd meet him there 2 minutes ago!"

Sabine mumbled a few obscenities in French as she grabbed some non-uniform clothes to throw on.

"Scotty is involved?" she asked as she attempted to tame her hair.

"Yeah, I hope you won't mind. I needed his help," Uhura replied cautiously.

"As long as you are not taking me to a sex dungeon filled with creepy holograms I am supposed to fuck, I cannot see why I would mind Scotty being involved." Frankly, it made her feel better that Scotty was in on whatever this scheme was. Sabine trusted the Scotsman, his tendency towards accidents notwithstanding, more than almost anyone else on the ship.

"Remember you said that when you find out what the surprise is," Nyota said with a nervous giggle as she dragged Sabine out of her quarters and down the corridor to the turbolift.

"Why are we doing this so early?" Sabine complained.

"Because my shift starts in an hour but I really wanted to show you this as soon as I could."

Nyota's excitement was infectious and by the time they met Scotty in front of the entrance to the holodeck, Sabine was as giddy as she could be at what she considered to be an ungodly hour of the morning. She noticed Scotty was nervous.

"Well then, shall we?" he asked them both, beckoning them to enter the holodeck. The three officers entered and the doors closed behind them. Inside, the room was plain.

"Now, lass," Scotty said to Sabine uneasily. "I promise, what yer about to see – I haven't told a soul about it."

Sabine was confused and once again apprehensive. "Why would I be worried about that?" she asked both of her friends.

"Stop freaking her out," Nyota admonished Scotty. She turned to Sabine. "It's fine. You have nothing to worry about. Just close your eyes, okay?"

Sabine balked and Nyota held firm. "It's a surprise. Close your eyes so we can set up the program and I'll tell you when you can open them, okay?"

Sabine acquiesced, closing her eyes tightly. She could hear Scotty and Nyota at the panel by the entrance to the holodeck. They were entering what she assumed was the program meant to be her birthday surprise. She steeled herself inside, nervous of what lay ahead.

The first thing that hit her was the smell. Even with her eyes closed, the scents were immediately identifiable and she felt her hands begin to shake at her side. Nyota came over and grabbed one of her trembling hands.

"We just need to give it another second to finish before you open your eyes," she whispered to Sabine.

The next thing Sabine noticed were the sounds. She hadn't heard anything like it in almost nine years. Tears were rolling down her cheeks before Nyota told her gently to open her eyes. She had a guess of what she would see but it still didn't prepare her for the sight in front of her. She gasped.

"How?" she asked Nyota reverently as Scotty joined them. She turned to him. "How did you do this?"

Before them was the apartment building Sabine had grown up in before the Peacekeepers had taken her away at age twelve. All around them were the sights and sounds of her corner of 21st century Paris. She could smell the baguettes baking at the boulangerie, the cigarette smoke from the brasserie across the street, and the pungent cheese aromas from the fromagerie just two buildings down. She drank it all in as her eyes clouded over with more tears.

"Do you like it, lass?" Scotty asked with concern, seeing her cry. "Did we do something wrong?"

"No," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "It is perfect. I never thought I would see this again. How did you do it?"

Nyota smiled at Scotty and put her arm around Sabine's shoulders. "We asked for some help," she replied. "And your friends were more than willing to oblige." She pulled a small object out of her pants pocket as she spoke. "This belongs to you," she said handing it to Sabine.

Sabine stared at the object in her hand. She knew it was a data clip – capable of holding larger amounts of data than a PADD.

"What is on this?" she asked.

"When you arrived in Iowa, you destroyed your tablet – it had all your pictures from before on it – pictures of your apartment, your family, places you loved in the city," Nyota said softly. "Apparently, some of your friends suspected you would break it upon arriving wherever you ended up so they made a backup before your final…what do you call it? Jump. The last jump you all made. So they had this and when I reached out to Adjoa," Sabine looked up and made a surprised sound and Nyota smiled then continued. "When I reached out to her for help on what your place would have looked like inside, she sent this. She told me to tell you this is a gift from everyone on the Resurrection IV crew."

Sabine felt like her chest would explode from the emotions filling her.

"A lot of what you'll see here we got from records the Federation is using to rebuild your city," Scotty said quietly. "I was able to request the records without explaining too much as to why I needed 'em. But I may have some questions for you later about the city lay-out. Questions that will help Federation engineers as they try to recreate Paris."

Sabine looked at Scotty and then at Nyota. The confusion on her face made Nyota tighten her grip on her shoulder. "What Scotty is trying to say is we promised the Federation we would use the holodeck to construct as faithful a recreation of Paris as we could. If this is, in fact, accurate, we'll send the program back to them for their own use in creating the plans for building new Paris. But we won't give away the fact that you're the one we are getting our information from. Your secrets are safe with us."

"I do not know what to say," Sabine gasped. "This is beyond anything I ever expected to see."

"We have most of the city mapped out," Scotty replied. "It gets a bit dodgy around La Defense – that's the hardest area to get accurate records for. But the metro works, there are taxis," he noted as one drove by them, "and you can visit pretty much any landmark you'd like however you'd like. If you tell me what you want added or changed – cafés you especially enjoyed, shops, whatever – I'll make it happen."

"Do you want to go up?" Nyota asked, gesturing to Sabine's old apartment. Sabine hesitated.

"My parents?" She wasn't sure she was ready to see hologram recreations of her parents.

"We didn't create any people you knew personally," Nyota said soothingly. "We didn't want to create them and upset you because something was off."

"If you like, lass, I can help you with that at a later time." Scotty looked down at his PADD. "I cannae stay any longer. I know you weren't ready for this but I hope you like it. And, of course, I willna say a word to anyone about it."

Sabine looked at the Scotsman with tenderness and threw herself at him, hugging him tight. "Thank you," she breathed. "Thank you so much."

"Ye're welcome, lass," he replied, hesitantly rubbing her back. He felt his own emotions getting choked up inside and pulled away.

"Right then. Enjoy!"

"Come on," Nyota encouraged, Sabine, taking her hand. "Let's explore." As the women moved towards the apartment building, Scotty quietly exited the holodeck.

Sabine and Nyota took their time walking up the stairs of the building and into Sabine's family's apartment. Sabin paused every few seconds, first to touch the baluster on the staircase as they walked up to the third floor, then to touch the faded paint on the second floor stairway, and finally, just outside the apartment, rubbing the old wood of the door in awe.

"Even the door looks exactly as it should…feels the same," she murmured, enraptured.

"There was a holo – sorry, a picture – of you and your mom in front of this door – we were able to use it to match the door. Honestly, the computer does most of the work but if we feed it the right information, it produces some amazing results." Nyota looked at Sabine and felt goosebumps on her arm. She'd never seen the other woman so emotional before. Uhura was ready to call the gift a cautious success but she still wanted to see Sabine's reaction to the inside of the apartment. She and Scotty had spent so much time pouring over pictures to ensure they got as many details correct as they could. Sabine felt Ny's eyes on her and she drew in a deep breath.

"Here goes," she whispered, turning the old brass knob at the center of the door. As she pushed it open, it gave a familiar creak and she was almost in tears again. She had held so many nearly-forgotten memories inside for so long and they were all rushing back to her. The door opened into a hallway – one she recognized so vividly, it almost hurt. She entered and Nyota followed her. Silently, they walked from room to room in the apartment, Sabine reaching out from time to time to lovingly touch a knick-knack or piece of furniture. When they reached the room that had been hers, Sabine paused.

"I am not sure I am ready for this," she gasped.

"We don't have to do it now. We can wander the city, if you like," Nyota replied, disappointed but not wanting to push her friend too hard. This was meant to be a joyful gift – not one that left Sabine feeling hollow or sad.

"No, I can do this," Sabine replied and she opened the door to her old room. It was precisely as she remembered it, down to the way the sun would hit the wall above her bed in the early morning. Sabine circled the room slowly, taking it all in.

"Is it…like you remember?" Nyota asked hopefully.

Sabine turned to her friend. "It is amazing. I believe this is the most wonderful present I have ever received. I do not know how to thank you."

"You enjoying it is thanks enough," Nyota replied. "Everyone deserves a chance to go home again."

Uhura's communicator pinged before she could say anything else. She looked back up at Sabine.

"That's my alarm – I have to get to the bridge. But this isn't the only surprise we have for you today. Jim has his own present for you. Come with me, okay?"

Sabine grabbed Nyota's hand and the two of them made their way out of the apartment and back onto the street.

Nyota turned to Sabine. "This holodeck has been signed out to you for all of today."

"Really?"

"Yeah. It pays to be friends with Scotty, huh?"

"I suppose so," Sabine said, looking around them again in wonderment.

"You'll be back soon enough. But I need to get you to Jim," Nyota replied with a twinkle in her eye.

* * *

The women arrived at the transporter room and Sabine was thoroughly bewildered. But there was Jim, waiting for her with a smile.

"See you later, okay?" Ny said, giving Sabine a quick hug before dashing out of the transporter room and to the bridge. Sabine looked over at Jim.

"I am afraid to ask what we are doing here," she observed as his grin widened.

"Well, we're not really doing anything. We're waiting," Jim replied, his eyes a crystal blue sea of merriment. "Did you like Uhura's gift?"

"I loved it! Do you know what it was?" They were the only two people in the room so she felt at ease discussing the gift with him.

"I haven't seen it, but I had to approve delivery of several of the plans Scotty received from the Federation offices in San Francisco so I have a general idea of what they did. You know, they've been working on that for months now."

"Jim, I do not know what to say. I will never be able to match their kindness."

"It's not a competition, Sabs. Just enjoy it. We're family here on the Enterprise and we do what we can for each other."

She had heard Jim give various iterations of the "We're family" speech before to the crew but this was the first time she really understood the full truth behind his words. Before she could respond, the transporter platform lit up and the familiar sound of the transporter beam filled the room. Both people turned to see who was beaming in.

"Oh my god," Sabine said softly as the guest materialized. "This might be the best day of my life."

Adjoa stepped off the platform and Sabine ran to engulf her friend in a hug.

"You are here! You are really here!"

"I know! Thank your captain. He did some mighty fine negotiating with my captain," Adjoa said between laughs and hugs. The women turned to Jim.

"You worked with the Klingons to have Adjoa come over?" Sabine asked in disbelief. She knew how much Jim hated Klingons.

"I did. I was only able to convince them to let her stay for 24 hours. But it's better than nothing," Jim replied with a grin. In truth, he'd been pretty proud of the way he'd handled the negotiations with the other ship. He knew a lot of their amenability to his request stemmed from Adjoa. The Klingons truly respected her and treated her with a deference he had never seen Klingons give to a human. But still – the fact that he had not only avoided starting a war during the talks but had also successfully arranged for Adjoa to visit was impressive.

Sabine hugged him tightly. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome," he responded before pulling away. "So, you two go have some fun. We'll see you, both of you, tonight in the officers' lounge, right?"

Sabine nodded. They were meeting for drinks in the lounge, which was typical practice on an officer's birthday. Jim nodded to them both and left the transporter room. Sabine turned back to Adjoa.

"I cannot wait to show you what Nyota and Scotty did!" Adjoa was familiar with the crew members of the Enterprise from all the stories Sabine had shared with her, just as Sabine knew all about Captain Toq and the crew of the Bird-of-Prey on which Adjoa was serving as chief engineer.

"Show me!" Adjoa exclaimed with excitement. "I am so excited to see everything and meet everyone!"

The women made their way to the holodeck and spent several hours exploring the recreated Paris within.

* * *

Later that night, as Sabine mingled with other officers, introducing Adjoa to her friends aboard the Enterprise, McCoy sat at a corner of the bar and watched his ex smile and laugh, telling stories with ease. It felt…normal…and right…having her aboard. He didn't know if things would ever be completely at ease between them – some days, it felt like they were picking right up from where they'd left off at the Academy. Other days were harder. But on this particular night, he was content to see her so happy. It was good to see Adjoa too. He knew Sabine missed her close-knit group of friends and it was clear from the smiles and laughter of the two women that Adjoa was happy to see Sabine again.

Eventually, when Adjoa and Scotty got into a deep conversation about warp drives that made no sense to anyone other than the two of them, Sabine made her way over to McCoy.

"Happy birthday, kid," he said as she sat down beside him.

"Kid, hmm? I believe I am a few months older than you, sir." She bumped his shoulder affectionately with her own.

"Well, you wear it better than I do," he replied.

"I cannot agree but I will say thank you," she noted.

"Check your PADD when you get a chance tonight. I sent you a little something for the occasion," McCoy mentioned casually.

They talked for a few minutes more before being joined by Uhura, Sulu, and some of the other officers. Uhura couldn't help but raise her eyebrows and make a coy smile at Sabine, something she did anytime she caught the two doctors talking with one another. Sabine ignored her look, as she always did.

Eventually the gathering wound down and Sabine led Adjoa back to her quarters. They would have to wake up early to get Adjoa back to her ship but the women were giddy to talk. After they changed into their pjs and settled on the couch, Sabine grabbed her PADD and took a quick look to see what McCoy had sent her.

_It's nothing special but I know how much you love music so here's a mix of some of my favorites. If you hate 'em, that's just terrible taste on your part, but I think you'll like at least one or two._

Attached to the message was a playlist of songs, some of which Sabine recognized as she skimmed the titles. She smiled, excited to listen to what he'd sent. Before setting her PADD down, she made a note to think of something to do for him on his birthday.

All in all, it had been an incredible day. As she and Adjoa laughed and talked together, Sabine felt a warmth inside her that she hadn't felt before. She believed she'd finally found the place she had been meant for her entire life. Surrounded by such amazing people, doing work she loved, Sabine was positive her decision to come aboard the Enterprise had been one of the best decisions she'd ever made.


	98. Chapter 98

It was just dumb luck that the Enterprise was so close to Casperia Prime at the same time that Scotty alerted Jim to a malfunction in one of the nacelles which would require about a week's worth of work to fix. Given Casperia Prime's popularity as a Federation vacation spot due to its warm climate and gorgeous beaches, Jim "grudgingly" decided to offer the crew shore leave while the repairs to the ship were made. It was rare for the Enterprise crew to find themselves taking a second shore leave within months of having been on Risa, but Kirk figured they deserved it, what with all that had transpired on Altamid and the relatively short amount of rest time they'd had at Yorktown. Who knew when time for their next shore leave would arise so they might as well enjoy themselves while they could.

And that was how Sabine found herself in a packed nightclub on their first evening of leave with Nyota, Christine, Janice, Jim, Sulu, Chekov, Scotty, McCoy, and a handful of other Enterprise crew members. It was loud and hot within the club but no one was complaining…well, no one but McCoy.

"This place is crawling with germs," he called out to anyone who might be listening. "We're all gonna end up in sick bay, with some godforsaken tropical disease if we stay here much longer."

He'd been cranky all night. They'd all laughed and rolled their eyes as he'd complained through dinner and on the walk to the club but no one was paying him a bit of attention at the moment. Even Scotty had tuned him out, having become fascinated by the light panels being used to sweep images of various plants and animals across the dance floor in rhythm with the music. Scotty was not entirely sober, which might have had quite a bit to do with his new-found interest in the panels. Or maybe he was just tired of always being the one to listen to McCoy's bitching.

Nyota was dancing next to Sabine when she nudged the other woman.

"Hey, look at him," she shouted in Sabine's ear and gesturing in McCoy's direction while struggling to make herself heard over the beat. "You should go get him and bring him out here. He looks miserable!"

Sabine rolled her eyes. "He is an adult. He knows where we are. He can join us if he wants."

But Ny kept pestering her and Sabine finally gave in, working her way first to the bar for a drink, and then over to McCoy. It took a half hour because movement was almost impossible in some places. But she made it to him and handed him a drink.

"What's this?" he asked her in a voice filled with suspicion. They were still yelling to hear one another but they didn't have to yell as loudly here as out on the dance floor.

"Supposedly, it is bourbon," she replied. "Cheers!" She held her own drink up, waiting for him to click his against it. But instead, he set the drink down on the ledge he'd been leaning against.

"No thanks," he replied. "I'm not in the mood." With that, he turned away from her and made his path towards one of several exits to the circular patio that surrounded the entire club. Sabine watched him leave and shrugged her shoulders before heading back to the floor. When she got there, Jim approached her.

"He okay?" he shouted with a nod towards where McCoy had left the club.

"Unclear," she yelled back. "He is super cranky. You know how he hates crowds."

Jim nodded back at her but made his own way towards the exit they had watched McCoy take. Sabine didn't think much more about it, turning back to dance with the rest of the group still on the floor. A couple of songs later, she found herself feeling overheated and made her way to a separate exit, on the other side of the building from where Kirk and McCoy had left. She was surprised to find the outdoor patio empty. It was gorgeous outside and so much cooler than inside the cramped building. She could still hear the music perfectly well and wondered why more people had not made their way out here. From the rail of the patio, she could see the nighttime stars reflected in the waters that were only meters away from the shore on which the club had been built. Sabine had pulled out her communicator to urge the rest of the Enterprise crew to join her on the patio for their own dance party when she heard two familiar voices drift up from the sand below.

"But I thought things were going well between you two?" Jim asked, perplexed. The two men were walking along the shore, grabbing an occasional stone and skipping it along the water.

"They are. But that doesn't mean there aren't times when being around her is just too much for me," Mccoy replied, irritation laced through each word.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I still look at her sometimes and all I see is the woman who cheated on me. And tonight's one of those nights." McCoy paused and when Jim didn't respond, he continued. "You remember when we all met up at that club at the Academy? Cass was there and it was the first time I met her friends?"

"Sure. We had a lot of fun," Jim replied.

"Yeah, well, I couldn't stop thinking about that tonight. I remembered what it'd felt like, how much I'd been dreading it and then what a great time it ended up being. And then I remembered how she sat there and introduced me to all those friends. He was one of them, you know. The guy I found her with. It was one of those goddamn friends. And she didn't even pause when she introduced us. They coulda been sleeping together then. I have no idea."

"Bones, she's not that girl anymore," Jim countered.

"Are you sure about that? 'Cause up till I walked in on her fucking another man, she seemed pretty much exactly like she is now. Why are you so convinced she's changed?"

There was silence for a moment. Sabine had practically stopped breathing as she listened to the conversation. Every part of her wanted to retreat back into the club but she was worried they would hear her if she made a move. She was deeply regretting the decision to come out on the patio for air. Air was overrated.

"We've changed," Jim finally answered. "We aren't the same people we were in the Academy and neither is she."

She heard a deep exhalation. McCoy if she had to guess.

"I want to believe you, Jim. I really do. And most of the time, things are fine. It's not like I'm telling you I'm gonna stop speaking to her or anything. It's just hard sometimes. That's all. Right now's one of those times."

They were moving away from the club now and their voices were starting to fade.

"You're okay, though?" Jim asked, his concern for his friend evident.

"I'm fine. I just wanted to get away from all the noise and be alone."

"You don't mind…"

Sabine couldn't hear the rest of what Jim had to say. Realizing they were out of range, she relaxed all the muscles she hadn't been aware were tensed during her inadvertent eavesdropping. She hung her head, reliving the conversation again in her mind.

It hadn't occurred to her that McCoy still struggled so much to put their past behind him. She knew he was moody and didn't always feel like joking around with her but he was that way with everyone. No one put much stock in his cantankerous ways – his irascibility was part of who he was. She certainly hadn't taken it personally; there were days she didn't feel much like putting up with him either and it had nothing to do with any ill-will towards him – she just went through the normal ebbs and flows of aggravation with work colleagues that everyone experienced. But now she was faced with a new reality – one where his irritation could very well be her fault. All night, he'd been peevish. And, unbeknownst to her, she had been the but-for cause. For the first time since they had started talking again, Sabine was confronted with the fact that their friendship was not as firm as she might have hoped. It was tenuous and she would be unwise to assume things were okay just because he hadn't said otherwise to her.

Rather than going back into the club, Sabine exited the patio, going the opposite direction from where she'd watched Jim and McCoy walk. Now that McCoy had reminded her about that evening at the Academy, she didn't think she could go back inside the club and enjoy the music and laughter. She made her way instead to the main road and back to the hotel where the crew was staying.

Nyota commed Sabine later to find out where she'd disappeared to and she explained she'd had a headache and turned in early, much to the other woman's disappointment. Ny had been hoping Sabine and McCoy had snuck off together. Oh well. They had a week of sun and fun left. Maybe the two doctors would rekindle their romance later on.

* * *

The next morning, Sabine awoke in a lingering funk. She replicated herself a cup of tea and sat on the balcony of her room, trying to decide what she wanted to do for the day. Ny would want to go sightseeing together and she wasn't in the mood to deal with Nyota's constant interest in what was happening between her and McCoy, to say nothing of if Spock came along. While Sabine was fond enough of the Vulcan and enjoyed the times they spent together on the ship, she didn't know if she had the patience or discipline to handle a full day of shore leave with him. She felt like being alone. Further, she felt like exploring. Over dinner the night before, Hikaru had told several of them about the markets in the city center. She decided it was exactly what she needed to put herself in a better mood. She dressed quickly and made her way to the bazaar.

Once there, she knew she'd made the right choice. The street markets initially reminded her of ones she had visited in Mumbai – so much noise and distraction as beings haggled with one another. Working her way closer to the heart of the market, she noticed the cobblestone streets narrowing into something more akin to sidewalks. It began to resemble the medina of Fez, with tight walkways going in every direction, wedged between multifloor buildings that served the dual purpose of shop and home, and just a sliver of sky to be seen if she looked up. Brightly colored textiles everywhere, strong scents filling her nose, the shouts of buyers and sellers trying to agree to a "fair" deal – it was perfect. The narrow streets finally opened up into a covered market as elaborate as the Grand Bazaar of Istanbul, only here you could find Andorians, Tellarites, Vulcans, and all other manner of beings as they perused the goods available for purchase or trade. And it went on for what felt like eternity. She could spend the whole day there and only see parts of it. Sabine was in her own personal heaven. Any melancholy she'd felt dissipated as she wandered the market, grabbing a bite of something unidentifiable but delicious from one street vendor and a drink from another. At one junction, she discovered a café with a group of musicians playing. She stopped to listen and the café owner, a charming Caitain with perky ears, jovial eyes, and a twitching tail, beckoned her to join him in a dance. Who was she to refuse?

He spotted her instantly. Her hair was piled up in two sloppy buns on each side of her head and she wore a tank top, her bikini straps peeking through, with a brightly colored sarong knotted at the hips and trailing down to her ankles. On her feet, she wore leather sandals because despite her preference for keeping her dancers' toes covered, it was too hot here for anything other than the strappiest of shoes. A small leather cross-body bag completed the look. Seeing her out here in civvies made McCoy realize it wasn't just the Starfleet uniform that hugged her in all the right ways. She was alluring in whatever she put on.

She laughed as the café owner spun her out and back in and as the song finished, he watched her thank both her impromptu dance partner and the musicians. But then, she turned, looking around intensely. When she spotted him, a look of relief and something else filled her face. They made their way towards one another.

"Hello," she said at the same time he said, "Hey there."

Despite what she'd overheard the night before, Sabine's first thought when she recognized McCoy across the market intersection was that he looked damn good in a pair of linen pants, a cream-colored Henley with the top four buttons undone, and a messenger bag with the strap slung over one shoulder and across his chest. He hadn't shaved and his hair was messy, instead of nicely parted like it would be if he were on the ship. No man had a right to be as attractive as he was in this heat. She felt like she was melting and he looked like it was breezy and cool. Seeing him like this, outside the confines of the ship, reminded her of their first date. He had that same unexpected air of casual confidence, which acted like an aphrodisiac to her.

"Enjoying the sights?" he asked her, gesturing broadly to the market all around them.

"It is amazing," she breathed. "I love it."

"You know, they warn visitors not to come here alone," he gently scolded her with humour in his eyes.

"Mmm, and who are you with?" she retorted as they began to walk together through the covered market.

"Good point," he conceded. "Unlike you, I probably wouldn't be able to fight my way out of trouble."

She stopped to browse through some fabrics as he stood beside her. Sabine gave McCoy a sideways glance.

"Do not let your fighting instructor hear that," she murmured with a small smile. He returned it with a smirk of his own.

Sabine had felt someone watching her as her dance with the café owner had ended. Finding out that it had been McCoy both alleviated her fear of being tracked and filled her with a new agitation. His words from the night before were still fresh in her head and she didn't want him to feel compelled to hang out with her. He seemed happier today but she didn't want to discount the possibility that he was just putting a good face on for the sake of manners.

McCoy had also woken up that morning a bit blue from the night before. He'd opted to spend the day in a place where he could be alone without others noticing. In contrast to Sabine, McCoy was a homebody – he could have happily spent his life in Georgia, as a simple country doctor. But perhaps the spirit of adventure shared by so many on the Enterprise was infectious because he found his spirits lifting as he made his way through the bustling markets. When he came upon Sabine dancing, he'd instantly been happy to see her, though if he had caught her only a few minutes earlier, eating mystery meat on a stick from a street vendor, that happiness would have been considerably dampened by his paranoia of catching fatal diseases from sketchy foods.

Increasingly, he felt almost as though he had split personalities when it came to the other doctor. There was the side of him that didn't fully trust her – the side that remembered what she'd done back at the Academy. But there was an ever-growing part of him that looked forward to their interactions and could not be bothered by the inability to square the woman laughing in the markets with the woman who had cheated on him. From day to day, hour to hour, he wrestled within himself as to who she was and whether he would ever truly trust her. But in this moment, with the smells and sights of the market surrounding them, he couldn't think of another person he'd rather see.

She finished looking at the fabrics in the bin and they continued walking.

"What are your plans today?" she asked him cautiously.

"Didn't really have any besides checking this place out. And wandering down to the beach later when it isn't hotter than the surface of the goddamn sun."

She chuckled a little bit. Even in what appeared to be a good mood, he was still McCoy.

"You wanna stick together?" he asked her, searching her face to see if she minded that he had started walking with her.

"If you would like," she replied, not wanting him to feel obligated to stick with her, especially if he had any lingering sentiments like the ones he'd voiced last night to Kirk.

"Okay," he answered her. "Let's explore."

She searched his face for any sign of tension or hesitancy. He cocked his eyebrow at her.

"What?"

"I just want to make sure I am not interfering with your plans," Sabine said.

"You know, you're a telepath. If you're that worried, just grab me and take a look in my head," he challenged her, with a hint of a smile. At that moment, she realized he wasn't faking his good mood. McCoy never teased her about telepathy unless he was in fine spirits. When he was cranky, he became critical of her abilities, referring to them as voodoo or mumbo-jumbo. So today, she was dealing with happy McCoy.

"No need for that," she said primly.

"Then it's settled. Let's have some fun," McCoy said, an air of finality to his words.

And so they did. They wandered the market for a couple of hours, stopping once to grab a drink at one of the outdoor stands, even though McCoy groused about the sanitation standards of outdoor food/drink carts. When they finally found themselves on the outskirts of the market, McCoy used his PADD to figure out where they were in relation to the beach. A half hour later, they were walking in the sand, both of them carrying their sandals in their hands.

"What about there?" he asked her, pointing at a location close to the water but still secluded and away from other sunbathers.

"Yes," she replied. "Perfect. Look at the water. This place is splendid!"

And it was. The sand was soft and not too hot beneath their feet – Sabine wiggled her feet in it as they stood, enjoying the sensation of sand between her toes. The water was an amazing shade of blue that made her think of the Mediterranean. They stopped a moment to take in the scene.

"Reminds me of Greece," McCoy murmured. "The islands – I'd never seen water that color before."

"When did you go?" Sabine asked. She took a bit of comfort in the fact that the amazing color of the Mediterranean waters hadn't changed in the two centuries since she had last seen them.

"In college. One summer, I took an around-the-world trip with a couple of friends." He turned to her. "You've been?"

She nodded her head. "When I was young. We would take vacations there." She almost added that Athens was a common stop for planes flying between Europe and Africa but caught herself just in time. Planes weren't a thing people used for travel anymore. Even though she was constantly having to watch what she said when they shared stories, Sabine loved discovering new facets of the man she had once dated.

They worked their way over to the spot McCoy had eyed and he opened his bag, grabbing a towel from it.

"I only have one of these," he said to her. She wrinkled her forehead at him, befuddled by why he was telling her about his towel until she realized he was offering it to her for sunbathing.

"Thank you," she responded, "but I do not need a towel."

"Well, what're you gonna lay down on then?" he asked.

She smiled at him and undid her sarong. "This, silly," she said as she spread it out on the beach.

McCoy bit his tongue to keep it in his mouth. When she'd unknotted the sarong and pulled it off, his first impulse had been to grab her right then and there, confirmed by a twitch from below his waist. How could she be so oblivious to the effect she had on others? He busied himself with his towel, spreading it out and trying to ignore her as she sat down and removed her tank top.

Sabine grabbed her sunglasses from the tiny bag she'd brought with her and hoped they hid her eyes as she watched McCoy take off his shirt and pants. Once upon a time, she'd seen him naked so it wasn't like this was new to her but holy hell, did he look good in his swim trunks. She wondered if agreeing to spend the day together had been a mistake after all. Last night, he'd told Jim he couldn't see her without remembering the awful lies she'd filled his mind with. Now all she could think about was how much she wanted to lick him – she didn't care where – seeing so much of him uncovered made her want to skim her mouth along every part of his body. She forced herself to lie down and close her eyes.

McCoy tossed his shirt and pants in his bag and turned around to see Sabine in her bikini, lying on her back, her knees bent. Jesus Christ, the things he wanted to do to her. The night before, he could hardly look at her and now, he was just a few breaths away from begging her to let him bury his head between her breasts before moving on to other equally pleasing areas he remembered from their time together. He took a seat on his towel, grabbed his own sunglasses, and then laid down, keeping his eyes away from the woman next to him.

They sunbathed in silence for a bit, each lost in their own thoughts. McCoy thought about the last time they'd kissed, on Xurl. The memories of the moments they'd shared on Xurl had a funny way of showing up more often than he cared to admit in both his waking and sleeping mind. He remembered how good it had felt to hear and feel her orgasm – how tightly she'd clung to him, how he'd felt her breath catch in her chest. He thought about how soft and inviting her mouth had been in spite of the cold and how good her hands had felt on him. She was like a goddamn addictive drug and the last thing he needed to do was relapse. He snuck a quick peek at her as he shifted on his towel. Her body was sinful – that's all there was to it. And her lips had been made to kiss.

Meanwhile, Sabine tried to reconcile the man lying next to her with the man she'd overheard the night before. He seemed to want to hang out with her and she didn't get any sense that he was uncomfortable as they walked through the markets and came to the beach. Was it because this didn't remind him of anything they'd done at the Academy? She thought back to when they'd visited the beaches in San Francisco. It had been colder there and they'd gone at night, more intent on finding a place to fool around than in more traditional beach-going activities. As he turned over on his towel to lie on his stomach, Sabine looked at his ass. He had the most perfect backside she had ever seen and the fact that she couldn't reach out and touch it, as she had so many times when they were together, made her want to cry. She wished she were under him. Was it possible to be jealous of a towel? Because she was. Sabine sighed in irritation with herself. Fooling around was probably the last thing on her companion's mind currently. She blushed as she stole another glance at him. If only she could say the same thing.

McCoy had turned over on his towel so that his sunbathing companion wouldn't notice the growing problem in his swim trunks. But when she sighed, he realized no amount of adjustment was going to keep him from wanting to reach over and grab her. Unable to continue staying beside Sabine for fear he'd make a move, McCoy cleared his throat and got up.

"It's hot. I'm going in for a dip," he said as he stood with his back to her. Frankly, some water might do him good, given the very evident hard-on he was sporting. If he couldn't get a cold shower, he'd take the next best thing. Sabine watched him walk to the water, not bothering to hide her appreciation for his body since his back was to her. When the water was as high as mid-thigh, he dove in and swam out a bit. She watched for a few minutes then decided to join him.

The water was warm, the current gentle. It was so clear, Sabine could see to the bottom even after she'd swam far enough out for it to be too deep to stand in. It wasn't salt water but it had a similar buoyancy. She floated on her back, lazily kicking her feet and stroking her arms to keep herself in place. She knew McCoy was somewhere near her because she could hear him splashing about but she was content until the water grew still and quiet. She shifted, now dogpaddling as she looked around for him. He was nowhere to be seen.

"McCoy?" she called out to no response.

"McCoy?" Still nothing. Now she was worried.

Suddenly, she felt a pull on her right ankle and she was yanked under then quickly released. She sputtered as she came to the surface. McCoy was next to her, laughing at her reaction.

"You ass," she cried. "I thought something had happened to you!" He just laughed harder and she splashed him with water.

"You're gonna have to do better than that," he taunted her.

"Careful what you wish for," she replied, jumping halfway out of the water and shoving her hands on his shoulders to push him under. He grabbed her waist and took her with him. They both resurfaced a moment later, coughing and giggling. As they paddled to stay in one place, face to face, their laughter died down and they looked at one another. If she could have thrown her arms around him without pulling him back underwater, Sabine would have done it in a heartbeat. McCoy thought about how easy it would be to kiss her if he just moved a little closer to her. They were so close, she could feel the water swirl around her as he kicked. He felt her hand graze his arm as she treaded water.

"Sure beats bein' on the ship, doesn't it?" he finally asked, to break the silence that threatened to push him into making a decision he would later regret.

"Indeed," she replied. "Maybe we can convince Scotty to take more time with his repairs." In her head, a voice screamed at her that if they had too much more time here, she'd show up naked in front of McCoy's room and beg him to take her.

They enjoyed the water for a bit longer then decided to head back to the beach. As she was walking out of the waves, Sabine cried out in surprise and discomfort, feeling a sharp pain in her foot. She looked down to see it was bleeding.

"You okay?" McCoy asked her. He'd been only a step or two ahead of her and had turned at her yelp.

"Just cut my foot on a shell. I will be fine," she replied. But the cut was deep and bleeding profusely.

"Lemme see that," he said skeptically and she lifted her foot to show him.

"You're not walking all the way back on that – you'll get sand in it – it'll get infected and then what?"

He looked at her for a moment and she stared back.

"Come here," he ordered her, moving towards her. With little effort, he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder. "Bend your knee so your foot's elevated," he ordered. She complied but not without a huff of indignation.

"Really?" she asked.

"You got a better idea for getting back to the towels?" he asked her.

"You have to carry me like a sack of potatoes?" she countered.

"I suppose you'd prefer I carry you across the beach like a newlywed?" He was already walking back and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"Maybe I do not like my ass over your shoulder for the whole world to see," she grumbled, thinking it wouldn't be half bad if he would just carry her in his arms. She'd be able to rest her head on his chest, maybe even sneak her arms around his neck, in the name of a secure grip.

"Don't see why. It's a perfectly tolerable ass," he replied, practically jovial.

"Tolerable?" she squeaked, ready to jump right down and argue the merits of her backside.

"Calm down," he replied, still full of mirth. "I'd hate to drop you before we make it to the towels."

"Next time you get injured, I will remember this," she threatened.

"All the more reason to keep myself out of trouble," he shot back.

When they got back to their spot, he knelt down and helped her lie back on her sarong. She propped herself up on her elbows so she could see what was happening.

"I've got my med kit," he told her. "Just stay still."

"Of course you have your kit," she said with a roll of her eyes. "Do you ever go anywhere without it?"

"Damn good thing I was prepared," he shot back. "You'd have a long way to go for help otherwise."

She didn't have a comeback and her foot was really starting to ache so she remained silent as he grabbed the kit. The first thing he did was clean the cut and the sting of the antiseptic made her inhale sharply.

He looked up at her intake of breath. "You're not gonna pass out on me, are you?"

She gave him a look. "It would take more than some disinfectant to knock me out."

He smirked. "I forgot – you're a badass. Maybe I should let you walk back to the hotel like this."

"You would not," she protested.

"Oh, now you want my help," he replied, his hand rubbing her heel as he examined the cut. Her calf was propped up on his thigh as he knelt at her feet and she was trying not to spend too much time thinking about how much she was enjoying the physical contact with him.

He was keeping things playful with her so she wouldn't focus on the pain in her foot but McCoy would be lying if he didn't admit he was enjoying touching her. He took a moment to give her foot a serious once-over.

"I think the dermal regenerator should be able to fix this up," he told her, grabbing the device out of his bag with his free hand. "It's not so deep that you need any kind of muscle repair."

She wiggled her toes at him in response, his face so close to her foot that if she dared flex it, she would be able to bop his nose. She refrained, observing that he'd moved into doctor mode and wouldn't appreciate the silliness.

Within minutes, her foot felt and looked like nothing had happened. He set her leg back on the sarong, running his hand up her calf in a move that was perhaps gratuitous, and she flexed her foot as he packed everything back into his kit.

"Thank you," she said as he moved to place his kit in the sand above her head. He looked down at her and brushed her dampened curls away from her face, resting his hand along the side of her head.

"You feel okay now?" he asked, not pulling away even though he'd put the kit down and had no reason to continue to hover above her.

"Yes," she replied, mimicking him by using one hand to brush the wet hair from his forehead.

For a moment, the world froze. She waited for him to move closer, to dip his head to meet her upturned face. He contemplated where he should kiss her – did he start with her mouth? Or her neck? Nuzzle her earlobe?

Before he could make a decision, the sound of others conversing filled the silence and he pulled away to look. A group of Casperian teens had decided to set up near them.

McCoy looked back at Sabine, the moment broken. He pulled away from her and she sank back down to lying on her back, letting the sun hit her. She did her best to hide the disappointment she felt. Meanwhile, he preoccupied himself with settling in on his towel, knowing if he looked over to where the other doctor was lying down, he'd say to hell with observers and take her in his arms anyway.

When they both felt dry enough, they packed up and began the walk back to the hotel. They made small talk, both painfully aware of the space between their bodies all the way back.

Once they had returned, they made their way to their rooms, discovering they were on the same floor, only a few rooms down from one another.

"I had fun today," Sabine said as they reached her room.

"Me too," McCoy replied. "Let me know if that foot gives you any problems." He wanted to say a hundred other things to her, wanted to do anything other than make idle chitchat, but he couldn't bring himself to make a move.

"See you later," she said simply, knowing she needed to get into her room before things became more awkward.

She sighed once inside.

For Sabine, one of the best things about shore leave was the presence of actual showers, and, if she was really lucky, the option for a bath as well. She'd grown used to sonic showers but appreciated an occasional indulgence in water. This hotel had a tub in addition to the shower stall and she sank into a hot bath, ready to soak away the sweat and sea water. As she rested her head on the back ledge of the tub, her thoughts drifted to McCoy. She couldn't help but remember the feelings of lust he had stirred in her and almost without thinking, she touched herself, at first idly, and then, as she thought more about how good he had looked in the water, and lying on the sand, her finger strokes grew more purposeful. She recalled how he'd leaned over her right before those teens showed up, his left hand supporting the weight of his body over hers. She was so close but to get there, she had to imagine what would have happened next if they hadn't been interrupted. Sabine needed release from the pent-up emotions of the day and when she came, it surprised her with its force.

Two rooms down from hers, McCoy had similarly taken matters into his own hands, reviewing in his mind how she'd looked as she removed her sarong, and later laid down on it. He thought about watching her dance in the market, and remembered that brief moment in the water where he'd pulled her close to him as they both went under. What finally brought him to completion was the thought of what he would have done if those damn teens hadn't shown up. He surprised himself with how satisfying his fantasy was – to the point that it prompted him to groan loudly, something he almost never did when pleasuring himself. But the lingering images of her that flashed in his mind left him little doubt as to why he'd found such satisfaction this time.

The rest of their shore leave on Casperia Prime was relatively uneventful. The ship repairs went smoothly and the crew enjoyed a week of sun and fun. Sabine and McCoy saw each other every day, either at lunch or dinner and then for whatever evening activity the senior officers decided on. They didn't find themselves alone again – every time they were in the same place, they were surrounded by at least three other officers. This was not coincidence. Neither wanted to take the chance of being caught alone with the other. Fear of making a move that would be unreciprocated kept both doctors from seeking additional time one-on-one. Two nights after their day of markets and beaches, the officers decided to visit a different discotheque in the city and Sabine watched McCoy leave the club with an attractive Orion. She did her best to brush it off – he was single. He was free to pick up whomever he wanted. But as logical as she tried to be about it, she felt an ache inside. Luckily, such aches could be mitigated by drinks, dancing, and days filled with sun and exploration. By the time the crew was ready to return to the ship, spirits were, for the most part, high.

* * *

On the shuttle ride back to the Enterprise, McCoy found himself sitting next to Nyota and it didn't take long to realize she was upset with him.

"What'd I do this time to piss you off?" he drawled to the communications officer, his head tilted towards hers.

"If you don't know, why should I bother telling you?" she snapped back.

"Okay, fine. We can do it this way. But it'll save time if we just get to the part where you tell me how and why I suck as a human being," McCoy replied, sinking down in his chair a little more, ready to take a nap.

"You wanna know?" Ny asked him defiantly and he rolled his head over to make eye contact with her.

"I just asked you twice, fool-woman. What do you think? Yeah, I wanna know," he replied, not bothering to hide his irritation.

"It sucks that you picked up some random Orion chick the other night," Uhura replied, finally letting her tensed-up shoulders down.

"Wait, what? You spent how long nagging me to put myself out there and now that I did just that – and discreetly, I might add – you're yelling at me for it? Make up your goddamn mind," McCoy complained in exasperation.

"You're right. I did tell you to date around. But discreet? Leaving the club with that woman hanging all over you was NOT discreet." Nyota had seen Sabine's face as they watched him leave. No one had any illusions as to what McCoy's intent had been.

"You rather I do things Jim-style and just fuck her in a dark corner of the club?" McCoy asked sardonically.

"Don't be a dick – a bigger dick than you already are." she clarified, seeing his smirk. "And don't you dare make a joke about how well-endowed you are!"

"You take all the fun out of everything," he grumbled in response. "I still don't understand why you're so upset. You've been telling me for years to get laid. I followed your advice. Why are you yelling at me now?"

"I'm not yelling," Uhura answered briskly. "I'm just saying maybe you shouldn't go around blatantly hooking up when one of your crewmates has a thing for you. It's cruel."

"Ah, I didn't realize you felt that way for me, sweetheart," McCoy replied, giving Nyota an affectionate elbow in the ribs.

"Not me, dumbass. God, you men are so dense sometimes," she fumed, slapping his elbow away.

"Calm down," McCoy replied. "I know exactly who you're talkin' about and you're wrong. We don't feel that way for each other anymore. Latour's a grown woman – if she has a problem with what I did, she'll tell me herself. Besides, she had no shortage of willing partners to choose from." McCoy had not forgotten how many men, women, and other gendered beings had turned their heads to get a better look when Sabine walked by whenever they'd been together on Casperia Prime. He was certain the other doctor had enjoyed herself as much, if not more than he had.

"But she didn't go home with anyone because she isn't over you yet," Nyota whispered savagely.

"How do you know that? You check her room every night to make sure she was alone?" McCoy retorted, remembering the sounds of a woman being pleasured he had heard from his room one night – sounds coming from Sabine's room. It was part of what had prompted him to leave the club with the Orion woman the next night – if she was going to have fun on shore leave, so was he.

Nyota gave him a look. "Fine. Do what you want with yourself. But don't complain to me later on," she said, crossing her arms and closing her eyes in a sign that she was done with the conversation. McCoy rolled his own eyes. Nyota meddled too much for her own good. Breaking up with Spock had left her with an excess of time on her hands, as far as McCoy was concerned.

* * *

"Captain, did you enjoy your shore leave?" Spock asked as he and Jim sat together on the shuttle returning to the Enterprise.

"I did. How 'bout you?"

"It was an excellent opportunity to work on some research I have neglected for the past two months. I also found it to be a good place for meditation –"

"Oh my god, Spock. Just listening to you is exhausting. Did you miss the fact we were on an amazingly beautiful planet filled with gorgeous species of all kinds? Tell me you didn't spend the whole trip in your room, working and chanting?"

"Jim, as I have explained numerous times, meditation is not chanting. Further, the research I worked on was very therapeutic to me. I found myself in a state of relaxation I have not experienced in quite some time." Spock raised an eyebrow at Jim as he lectured.

"Well, as long as you had a good time," the captain replied, unsure how research could ever really be considered a good time.

"I can assure you I did." Spock hesitated a moment before continuing. "I trust that your activities planetside were not such that you will require quarantine from Doctor McCoy?"

Kirk looked over at his first officer and a slow smile spread across his face.

"I'll be damned, Spock. You made a joke. I'm so proud. And for the record, there will be no quarantine. That happened one time and here we are all these years later, still talking about it. But I'll have you know, I behaved myself."

"While that is good to hear from the viewpoint of your second-in-command, I speak for both the science and medical departments when I say we will be disappointed to not have another previously-unknown STI to study."

"You're really killing it today, huh? Relaxation makes you a little sassy, Commander."

The two men shared a look. It was the closest Spock got to smiling in public and Jim knew it.

* * *

"Will you do me a favor?" Sabine asked McCoy during the overlap in their med bay shifts a few days after their return from Casperia Prime.

"What do you need?" he replied, looking at the PADD she was holding against her chest.

"Would you take the patient who just checked in?" she responded, nodding her head over to where a young, human engineering ensign was sitting nervously on a biobed.

"Sure," he answered. "But what's the deal?" Sabine rarely asked to switch patients and her cheeks were so red he knew there had to be something behind her request.

She stared at him, debating her answer, before motioning to the office. They walked over and into it silently.

"Okay, now I'm really curious," he said when the doors closed.

Sabine exhaled loudly. "This is so stupid but…that ensign had the room next to me on Casperia Prime," she explained. "And for the entire trip, I had to listen to her having very loud sex with an ever-changing selection of partners. Now she is here, worried she had an STI and I cannot make eye-contact with her."

McCoy had to take a moment to get his thoughts in order. First of all, he'd heard at least some of the noises Sabine was talking about…and had assumed they were coming from her room. But more pertinent to the conversation at hand was the fact that Sabine wasn't one to be rattled by sexual escapades and STIs. Hell, she was usually the one they gave all the weird sex injuries to because, of the doctors in med bay, she was most able to keep a straight face and maintain professionalism while a patient would nervously explain exploits like how a communicator ended up inside their rectum.

"Why can't you make eye-contact?" he asked with equal parts suspicion and amusement in his voice.

"Because," she said somewhat miserably. "On one of our last days of shore leave, I went out to my balcony, thinking the sounds I was hearing in my room would not be so loud if I moved locations. But instead, I discovered that ensign on her balcony…"

"And?" McCoy was on pins and needles. What had she seen to ruffle her feathers?

"Did you know Andorian antennae can be used during sex? Do you know how an Andorian, a human, and a Tellarite can come together in a threesome? Because now I do. And let me tell you, the Tellarite's nose was involved in a way I would have never suspected."

Over McCoy's laughter she continued. "I cannot handle the patient right now," she said helplessly, sitting down on the couch. "I feel awful – I thought I was more open-minded than I apparently am. But all I can see when I look at that poor girl is that scene on the balcony and I will never think of threesomes…or noses…the same."

"Did she see you that day?"

"Oh god, yes," Sabine wailed. "It was so awkward. We made eye-contact just as she…,"

He'd never seen her so crimson before.

"Anyway, I cannot do the exam. I am so sorry."

"I've got this one," McCoy said, still chuckling, as he patted her shoulder and took the PADD from her.

"I owe you," she said gratefully.

"Naw. For that story alone, I owe you a drink next time we're in the lounge," he replied as he walked out of the office to meet with the patient.


	99. Chapter 99

"I think we ought to be damn glad they all burned," Scotty was saying with a note of fierceness in his voice as Sabine sat down next to Nyota at the officer's table for dinner. She had been running late in med bay, had missed the start of the conversation, and listened in to catch up.

"I know," Uhura replied thoughtfully. "He was evil incarnate and I'm glad they're all gone now. But it's unfortunate everything else in that warehouse was lost."

Sabine had no clue what they were talking about.

"It's so strange," Sulu added. "When's the last time you heard of a thermal meltdown fire?"

"Yes, but it was a warehouse designed to house items like ze Augments which required special temperature controls. It is not completely unlikely for the system to become owerheated," Chekov argued.

Sabine's blood ran cold.

"What are you talking about?" she asked apprehensively, trying to keep her cool.

"One of Starfleet's holding warehouses caught fire and the contents were destroyed," Sulu replied. "And some of those contents included Khan and his followers."

Sabine sat back in her chair, a wave of nausea hitting her. Did Cass know? Did the other Resurrection crew members know? Oh god.

She felt a hand on her leg and looked down to see Nyota patting her. The woman gave her a sympathetic look, aware of Sabine's own issues with Khan.

"They found bodies," Ny told her. "We know they were killed."

"Well, they found a few bodies and some teeth," Scotty clarified. "The fire burned so hot that there was nothing but ash in most cases. However, they found enough to know the Augments were in their cryotubes when the fire broke out. And for that, I think we should all take a drink," he said, raising his glass.

"I'll drink to that," Sulu replied and both he and Chekov raised their glasses as well. The men clinked their drinks and sipped, not noticing that neither Sabine nor Nyota joined them.

Sabine tried to pay attention to the rest of the conversation but it was difficult and she excused herself from the table as soon as she could. Back in her room, she took out her PADD to read and watch more about the fire. Everyone agreed that the fire had killed all 73 Augments. Apparently, there had been enough DNA and bone left to confirm the presence of all the Augments. But in spite of the assurances given through news stories, Sabine still felt uneasy. And, as the messages from other Resurrection crew members trickled in, she realized her discomfort was shared by the others. In the end, none of them was sure what to do besides continue as they had been and wait to see what might happen. Sabine voiced her concerns to Jim but he showed her the report from Starfleet, a report she did not have the clearance to read, but that he shared because he too realized how much Khan had haunted her. The report said what she had seen in the news. They had found remains that could be tied to every Augment. The chances of anyone having survived the fire were nonexistent. The Augments, according to Starfleet, were gone, as was everything else from the warehouse.

Still, Sabine began to have nightmares again. She could control them, but the fact that they had returned left her feeling on edge. In a fit of anxiety, she sent Cass a quick message asking if the other telepath had heard about the warehouse fire, and if so, what she thought. But she never received an answer back and Sabine added the snub to her pile of things Cass had done that proved the demise of their friendship was probably for the best. Truthfully, she missed Cass – the list of grievances she held against her former friend were more a way to keep herself from mourning the loss of her friendship than anything. In the end, she felt foolish for having bothered her former handler. They were all adults. There was no need for Cass to continue to act as protector of the entire crew. Doubtless, she had her own life and her own issues to deal with.

On her end, Cass had heard about the warehouse fire and, like Sabine, had been filled with dread, despite the reports that everything in it had been destroyed. She received multiple messages from members of the Resurrection crew and didn't respond to any of them, partly because her time was consumed with trying to find Aubrey and run a business, but also because she didn't have any comfort to dole out. And as far as Sabine was concerned, Cass refrained from answering because she was convinced the two of them would somehow end up arguing, no matter how good their intentions going into a conversation might be. Cass held too much resentment towards Sabs still regarding Aubrey. She wasn't ready for a hard conversation with Sabine while she still had so much angst inside regarding Aubrey's disappearance, even while she fretted over the safety of Sabine and her crew mates.

As more time went by, Sabine began to feel at ease once more. Months had passed since the fire and nothing had occurred. Everyone from the Resurrection crew was fine – no one had been attacked since the attempt on Jinjing. It appeared, for the first time since they had left the Academy, that maybe they were out of the woods. Of course, they'd all thought that once before only to find out someone had died trying to keep them safe so no one made any stupid moves this time. But there was a feeling of optimism that each of them harbored, no matter how deep they buried it. If Khan and his followers had, in fact, burned to death in that fire, they would no longer have to worry about him. And if the mysterious attacks had stopped, maybe, finally, the individuals after them had decided they weren't worth all the trouble. Maybe. Or they were being lulled into complacency. All of them, wherever they were, kept on training, and kept vigilant. It would take more than a few months of peace to convince any of them that the threats had abated.

* * *

After the monthly meeting in med bay, Sabine and McCoy were gathering PADDs and other items from the conference room table. Without realizing it, Sabine kept staring at McCoy's hand, namely the pinky finger, on which he was still wearing the signet ring he'd switched to back when they'd been dating and he'd given her his great grandmother's ring to wear. He finally stopped what he was doing.

"You gonna tell me what you're staring at?" he asked her playfully. "You're giving me a complex over my hands."

She made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a snort. "The only complex you have over those hands is how skilled you think they are."

"Can't help that they're so famous, sweetheart. But seriously, what gives?"

Sabine took a deep breath. She was really gonna do this.

"The ring you have on," she started. He looked down at it and back at her and she watched the humor drain from his expression.

"What about it?" he asked, a warning note in his voice.

Sabine faltered. "It…mmm…Did you not get one from Starfleet when you left the Academy? Why not wear that one?"

McCoy visibly relaxed and Sabine felt simultaneously relieved and disappointed in herself. It was clear he'd anticipated she was going to ask about his great grandmother's ring and his hostility had radiated off of him. She couldn't do it yet. Despite how friendly they were, he wasn't ready.

"I like this one better than the Starfleet one. I'm a doctor first and foremost. Just happen to be one in space right now," he answered. He gave her a look. "I notice you don't wear yours either, you know."

"I never got it," she confessed. "I left the Academy early." At that, they both looked away. Talking about the Academy was still a little too close for comfort.

They continued cleaning up and Sabine grabbed a bin to take back to med bay. She turned, looking to see if McCoy was following suit.

"I'll be right there," he told her. "Go on without me." She gave him a nod and left.

McCoy was somewhat befuddled. He'd been certain she was going to ask about the ring he'd given her back at the Academy. He still had it – buried in a drawer somewhere in his quarters. But the sight of it made him sick to his stomach. It had lost all positive meaning for him and he didn't understand why she would attempt to bring it up. She might as well ask him about the color of the sheets on the bed he found her in or what position she'd been screwing the other guy in – he didn't want to think about those details either, etched into his mind as they were. After she left the conference room, he shook his head in confusion. Something didn't add up and he couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what it was. Still, for the sake of all the progress they had made as friends, he did his best to forget about everything from that fateful night and to focus on the present. Jim was right. They were different people now.

* * *

"Hey Spock!" McCoy jogged up to the Vulcan as he was approaching his quarters.

"Doctor," Spock acknowledged the other man.

"You got a second to talk?" McCoy asked.

"I do not believe we can have an entire conversation in one second, but if you are asking whether I am free to converse, yes."

McCoy rolled his eyes. He was regretting this already but Spock had opened the doors to his quarters and was patiently waiting for him to enter. He sighed. Never again. The next time he had a question, he'd just go to a regular computer instead of this green-blooded, walking, talking calculator.

"What can I assist you with?" Spock asked, taking a seat behind his desk. McCoy grabbed the chair across from the desk and sat down. It was too damn warm in Spock's quarters.

"I wanted to ask you…among telepaths, there's a code of sorts, correct?"

Spock cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What I mean is, y'all have unspoken rules about what you'll allow yourselves to do to non-telepaths, correct?"

"There is an etiquette, so to speak, regarding how we should comport ourselves. But there are written laws as well, of which I am sure you are aware."

McCoy waved his hand impatiently. "Yeah, yeah, I know about the laws. But I also know the laws are intentionally vague to give telepaths latitude to do what they need to do."

"Doctor, what, precisely, is your question?"

"What's the protocol for a telepath tampering with a non-telepath's mind?"

"Such activities are frowned upon. As Regulation 13.5 – 1(a) of the Telepathic Code states: 'Those with telepathic abilities should refrain from altering the memories of others – telepathic or otherwise – except for in certain circumstances.'"

McCoy worked hard to refrain from rolling his eyes again. He didn't need Spock to quote regulations to him.

"Yeah, but what are the certain circumstances referenced? When is it okay to alter someone else's mind?"

"It depends. Prior situations in which telepaths have been found not guilty under the Code include cases of near-death and other similarly extenuating circumstances," the Vulcan responded.

McCoy thought about it. He'd been toying around with the idea, for several months now, that perhaps Sabine had done something to his mind back at the Academy. Ever since they'd been stuck on Xurl together, he'd been convinced something was off about his memories of her cheating on him. He couldn't remember the conversation they'd had while curled up on the cave floor – every time he tried to remember what she had said that had upset him so much, it just felt like a fog came down over his eyes. But the feeling that had lingered with him since that away mission was that Sabine may not have cheated on him after all and for whatever reason, she didn't think she could tell him what had really happened. The whole ring incident a few weeks ago had really given him pause regarding what had happened all those years ago, though he couldn't exactly explain why. He'd hoped Spock would tell him something that would make it all fit together but McCoy couldn't remember anyone's life being at risk in the Academy before the Nero incident.

"It would appear my answer is not satisfactory to you," Spock observed, "Would you care to tell me why you are inquiring about telepaths?"

"Don't worry about it," McCoy said tiredly as he stood up. "It's not a big deal."

"Your reaction would seem to contradict your words."

"Not now, Spock. Psychoanalyze me another time." McCoy moved to leave the room.

"Doctor, may I make a suggestion?"

"What?" McCoy was getting increasingly irritated. The heat of the room, combined with answers that didn't help him, and the fucking incense was enough to drive him over the edge.

"There is a collection of information on telepathic skills and guidelines on the ship's computer. Perhaps adding it to your PADD and reading it would help you with your predicament, whatever it might be."

"Thanks, Spock," he said with a brief wave before leaving the other man's quarters. In the hallway, he took a deep breath. It was cooler, it didn't smell, and maybe he would take a look at what the ship's computer had to offer.

* * *

Try as he might, McCoy could not make heads or tails of what he was reading on his PADD. He had downloaded the ship's data-logs on telepathy and had read most of it without problem. But this section was baffling to him. It made no sense and he would read a paragraph only to forget what it had said. For a week, he tried to get through it, and each night, he would pick up his PADD anew with no clue where he had left off. Finally he gave up, his mind quickly forgetting the section even existed. As for the rest of the information from the ship's computer, it was interesting, but it didn't help him come any closer to figuring out how or if a telepath could manipulate memories.

When he saw Spock again one on one, the Vulcan asked him how his readings had gone.

"Fine, I guess," he sighed, once again wishing Spock's quarters weren't so warm and aromatic. "I didn't really find what I was looking for though."

"You're certain?" the Vulcan replied in surprise.

"Yeah. There was nothing on memory alterations," McCoy replied.

Spock said nothing and the conversation ended a few minutes after that. But once McCoy had left his quarters, Spock double-checked the ship's data banks. Sure enough, the section on memory alterations was still there. Why had the doctor not seen it?

* * *

Sabine inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of incense. She was in Commander Spock's quarters, meditating with him. This was a bi-weekly ritual they had enjoyed since she had come aboard. And she did enjoy it, contrary to what she had originally feared. Spock had been a patient teacher – certainly more patient and tolerant of her human shortcomings than any other Vulcan she had dealt with previously. And she found their conversations calming. It had been Spock with whom she had conversed most deeply about her fears regarding the warehouse fire and Khan's alleged death. She had also found him to be the best person to discuss her nightmares with, going so far as to allow him to partially meld with her so that he could see her memories and thoughts clearly. Because she was the stronger telepath between the two of them, she had taken great care in blocking most of her mind so as to not overwhelm him. They were both fascinated by the differences in their mental abilities and the way they used them. Spock had found these sessions to be as informative for him as he hoped they were for her.

Like her, Spock had been wary of the news regarding the incinerated Augments. But together, they had come to accept the information. Spock, with his logic and firm adherence to scientific facts, came to believe the Augments had been destroyed. And Sabine knew how much Khan had affected the Vulcan on an emotional level so if he was willing to believe the reports, she felt compelled to do so as well.

But that was not the subject of their conversation on this day. As they meditated, Spock looked over at her and she could sense, without him saying a word, that he was troubled.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I had an unusual conversation with Doctor McCoy yesterday," the Vulcan replied, his hands still pressed together, as if in prayer. She stayed on her knees as he had made no move to stand.

"Tell me more," she prompted, not wanting to rush him but also wanting him to know she was ready to listen.

"A week ago, the doctor asked me about telepathic norms. More specifically, he wanted to know when a telepath would be justified in tampering with someone else's mind."

Sabine's eyes grew wide at his words and he raised an eyebrow at her. She took a deep breath to calm herself, realizing he had sensed her agitation. She worked to re-center herself and once she had calmed down, he began to speak again.

"I suggested he read the ship's data regarding telepathy, thinking that if he did so, he would be particularly interested in the section on memory alterations."

Sabine once again took several breaths to keep herself calm. Spock would only converse with her if she could keep her emotions in check and she strove to do just that. Her efforts were apparently sufficient because he continued.

"Yesterday, the doctor informed me that he had not found what he was looking for. He specifically mentioned there was nothing on memory erasure and replacement."

Sabine could not contain herself. The emotions of confusion and disappointment were too much to contain through cleansing breaths. Spock did not mind. He realized he had tested her enough for the day.

"What do you think it means?" she asked him, still attempting to take a logical approach, despite the jumble of feeling within her. This was why Spock appreciated meditating with her. She made an effort to contain her emotions and to learn how to channel her frustrations into logical analysis.

"I can only offer theories, as I do not have enough information to give you a definitive response," Spock began and Sabine remained quiet to signify to him that she would accept his theories. "It would almost seem Doctor McCoy has a blind spot when it comes to memory altercation."

"A blind spot?" Sabine asked. "How could such a thing be possible?"

"Unclear," the Vulcan replied. "If Doctor McCoy were a fellow telepath, I would assume he had built certain mental barricades to keep himself from learning anything that either conflicts with the memories he currently has or that would give him an explanation as to why those memories are not accurate. As he is not a telepath, I do not have a viable answer."

Sabine thought about it. She remembered the night on Xurl, when she had tried to tell McCoy the truth about his recollections and how he had blocked her, almost like a telepath would.

"Spock, how likely is it that I am somehow the cause of this behavior from Doctor McCoy?"

"Do you mean to infer your own powers are being used against your knowledge to keep his mind safe?"

"Yes, I suppose so," Sabine replied thoughtfully.

"I have never heard of such a thing," Spock replied. "But then, you are somewhat of an anomaly as telepaths go. Still, I have trouble believing you are blocking McCoy's mind without knowing it. And there is the fact that he would certainly be aware of the presence of another in his mind. The more logical option would be to assume that Doctor McCoy, himself, is somehow keeping his own mind free of information that would contradict what he believes to be an accurate recollection of the past."

"Neither option seems quite right," Sabine mused.

"Indeed. You have mentioned before that, on occasion, you and Doctor McCoy have shared dreams of actual events."

"Yes," she replied, wondering where he was going with this.

"Do you think there is a connection between the two of you?"

"I have considered it in the past but when I look for it, I cannot find it on my end. We did share a connection at the Academy but when I altered his memories, that connection was severed. I have not felt a connection to him since except in the instances of the dreams I have described to you."

The two telepaths shared a look for a few moments. They did not have any answers for one another. They continued to meditate for a few minutes longer before Sabine excused herself.

As she changed to meet Nyota and Christine for some dance time in the studio, she once again found herself wishing she had never touched McCoy's mind. She worried she had done some sort of irreparable damage to him – maybe she had been too powerful or hadn't practiced enough beforehand. For not the first time, she found herself wishing she could talk to Cass. Of all the people she knew, Cass would be in the best position to tell her if she had inadvertently messed up McCoy's mind. But Cass had been there with her, walking her through the process. Surely she would have noticed something at the time. And besides, Cass seemed intent on keeping quiet, a fact which Sabine tried, and failed, not to be irritated over. If Cass didn't want to speak with her, she wouldn't push it.

* * *

"It just doesn't add up," McCoy grumbled to Nyota over drinks in the lounge.

"What, specifically, doesn't add up?" she asked him cautiously, realizing they were on shaky ground as the conversation progressed.

She'd agreed to meet him for drinks tonight and the first half hour had been innocuous enough – catching up on tidbits of news about various crew members, complaining about Jim – the usual. But from the start, Nyota had perceived a weird, tense energy radiating from her friend and when he'd finally steered the conversation towards Sabine, asking her questions about what she knew of the telepath's past, it all became clear. Nyota had answered as honestly as she could without giving too much away. She knew from her conversations with Sabine just how much the telepath worried about McCoy's mental state.

In fact, Sabine had not anticipated, once they had begun to be friendly with one another, that McCoy would cling to the fake memories as tightly as he had. It bothered her to see him continue to suffer from headaches but she was so fearful of the consequences that might arise if she tried to meddle, especially in light of how poorly her attempted conversation about the ring had gone. Sabine sorely missed Cass's input. Spock had done as much as he felt he could to prompt McCoy towards triggering the needed recognition that his memories weren't accurate but somehow, nothing was working. More and more, Sabine wished she had another resource to turn to for telepathic guidance. Nyota knew all of this and kept it in mind as McCoy prodded her for information.

It was clear he knew something was amiss. How to point him in the right direction?

He thought about her question and responded.

"The language thing, for one. Why's she speaking a language no one has spoken for so long?"

"Why don't you ask her?"

"She gets evasive when I ask her stuff," he complained. "I can tell, anytime I step over the line of what she's comfortable discussing."

"Well then, why don't you go at it in a more subtle manner?" Nyota suggested.

"How so?" he asked her, interested in her proposal.

"You're pretty blunt about things. Maybe instead of asking her why she speaks a dead language, why don't you ask her about the language itself?"

He wrinkled his brow at her and Nyota sighed before continuing.

"Next time you hear her say something, ask her what it means – how it translates into Standard."

He thought about what she was suggesting.

"So, you want me to get her talking by avoiding hard questions?"

"Exactly. If she clams up because you ask her why she does things a certain way, then stop asking such big questions. Focus on details that won't intimidate her so much."

He considered it.

"That's not a terrible idea," he replied before taking a drink. Setting his bottle down, he turned around on his barstool so he was facing Nyota head on.

"Do you know why she's the way she is?"

"Jesus, Len. Does anyone know why people are the way they are?" Nyota deflected.

"Yeah, yeah. I mean, do you know her story? Where she's from, what she did before the Academy?"

Nyota shrugged. "Not really. But do you know what I did before the Academy?"

"Well, you worked in linguistics for the United States of Africa after undergrad," he replied.

"Do you know why I went into linguistics? Or how about Chekov? What'd he do before the Academy?"

"That kid was in diapers when he got to the Academy," McCoy grumbled. "But I get it. I see your point."

"You want to know more about her because she interests you," Nyota replied. "That's not a bad thing. But some people are more reticent to open up than others. And remember, just a few months ago, you two weren't on speaking terms."

His shoulders sagged at the memory of their first few months on board together.

"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself," Ny said soothingly. "Just look at how much progress you two have made."

"You're right, you're right," he agreed reluctantly. Still, he felt bad about how he'd been towards Sabine. He still stood by the feelings of hurt she'd left him with at the Academy, but he knew he could have handled things better when she came on the Enterprise. He had to look to the future. The longer they were friends, the more he could show her he knew he'd been wrong and that she mattered as a friend, that she could trust him with her story.

* * *

Despite Nyota's advice, McCoy was still McCoy. While he tried to remember to keep his questions subtle, sometimes he just couldn't help himself.

"Do you remember the meeting we had with Jim when he first asked you to come aboard the Enterprise?" McCoy asked as he and Sabine circled one another in one of the smaller rooms within the recreation center.

She smiled as she lunged at him and deflected his block, landing a solid punch to his gut. He winced.

"I do. And stop being a baby. I barely hit you."

"Says you. I thought you were only gonna hit harder if I improved?"

"And you have. So now I am hitting harder. Maybe if you pay attention, you can actually block the hits," she replied, already circling to go again.

"Now what about that first meeting?" she asked.

"You were telling us about why you had used a fake name on Yorktown." She swung at him again and this time, he successfully deflected her.

"Mmm-hmm," she prompted him, once again taking a stance to strike.

"You said you'd planned to keep your false identity until your attacker was apprehended," McCoy continued, ducking as she swung at him.

"That is not a proper block," she grunted, spinning around and hitting his lower side, eliciting a groan from him. "You duck and I will just find a new target. You have to block in order to avoid getting hit."

"I really hate this," he muttered.

"But you are getting so much better," she countered.

"Feels like I'm just taking more hits."

"That is a sign of improvement," she said. "Now what are you getting at regarding the meeting?" She was back in her attack stance.

"What changed your plan? Why did you give up your fake identity?"

His question gave her pause and she briefly put her hands down. Seeing his chance, McCoy lunged at her but Sabine was quick. Before he could hit her, her hands were up and able to deflect him.

"Dammit, your speed is not natural," he huffed.

"Yes it is," she said cheerfully. "But let us stop for a moment, because I want to answer your question without distraction."

"Fine by me," he replied, glad for the break. His whole body felt like a giant bruise.

Sabine knew she could always evade him about why she'd taken her true identity back. She could tell him it was at Jim's prompting and she knew Jim would back her up. But she wanted to be honest with him as often as she could.

"I gave up my identity because I went to Yorktown Command to tell them about a dream I had."

He looked at her, puzzled, and she continued.

"I know this will sound very strange and I do not know why it happened. I had a dream…mmm, I do not know if dream is the right word but I do not know what else to call it. In my sleep, I was with you. I watched as the Enterprise was destroyed by Krall and his ships. I watched you and Commander Spock take one of the ships. I watched you crash land, try to save Spock, find shelter – I saw all of it. It felt so real. So I went to Command the next day to tell them about it. But to do so, I had to tell them my real name so they would know I was a telepath. Even then, they were skeptical."

She watched him as she told him about the dream. To her surprise, he didn't look shocked.

"You saw Altamid in your dream?" he asked.

"Yes. But it was like I was…," she paused and he knew what she was going to say.

"Seeing it through your eyes."

"Seeing it through my eyes," he said at the same time. She looked at him in astonishment.

"How did you know?"

"Because the same thing happened to me. I never told you this but when you were attacked on X0-19?"

She nodded at him to continue. "I saw it. Same thing – I was asleep but I felt like I was there. Even felt the blows you'd taken on my own stomach."

She winced then her eyes widened. "I felt it too, another time. When your arm got caught in a torpedo – you were with a blond woman. I felt the pain in my arm when I woke up!"

They stared at one another for a moment.

"What the hell, Latour? How is this possible?"

"I do not know. It is not something I have ever experienced…" she stopped short. It was similar to being in a lifebond. Except for the fact that bondmates knew the other was watching and feeling what they were experiencing. She wasn't going to bring up bonds to McCoy. Not as long as he didn't remember.

"Has this happened with anyone else? You ever share dreams with Cass or any other telepath?"

"No. Not like this. Telepaths generally know when they are sharing their minds with others. And it is almost unheard of to feel what the other person is feeling. I have never heard of a non-telepath being able to do that."

Sabine was trying to be as forthcoming as she could with McCoy without bringing up the fact that she knew they'd, at one point, had some sort of connection. But the connection faded while they were apart, hadn't it? It certainly should not have gotten stronger and enabled them to see and feel each other's most distressing life events.

McCoy stared at Sabine. He believed her – she was too perplexed and distressed. And she was an awful liar. But she was better at evading and he had a hunch she wasn't being as forthcoming as she could be. Then again, he was predisposed to think the worst about her. Maybe he should take her word that she was as clueless about what was happening as he was.

"One more time?" she asked as she resumed a fighting stance.

"I guess," he grumbled, taking his own stance opposite her.

She lunged at him and he successfully blocked her. But he took it a step further, knowing she would just attempt to hit him from another angle. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her arm behind her back then tugged her close to him, bringing his other arm around her, just as she'd taught him. Pinned to his chest, with one of her arms behind her, she struggled to break free.

"Alright," she finally panted. "You win this one."

He should have let her go but he continued to hold her to him. She looked up, trying to make eye contact with him.

"You intend to savor the victory much longer?" she asked. He met her eyes with his own and she was taken aback by the expression on his face.

"What happened to you – on X0-19," he began, releasing the arm he'd pulled behind her back and letting her turn around to face him, still keeping his other arm around her waist. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry it happened and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner that I knew about it. I shoulda contacted you right after. I chickened out and commed Cass instead."

"I understand," she murmured, her eyes soft. "I am not upset that you never talked to me about it. I do not think I would have known how to talk about it."

"I was an ass to you when the Orion girl came to med bay. I shoulda said something then," he countered, subconsciously tightening his grip on her.

"You were not wrong – I used excessive force on that ensign," she said by way of absolving him of wrong-doing.

"You don't have to make excuses for me," he argued. "I know I was horrible to you when you came aboard. And I'm sorry. You have no idea how much I regret it."

"McCoy," Sabine replied, finally stepping away from him, causing him to relinquish his hold on her. "We both made mistakes along the way. Beating ourselves and each other up over it does no good."

He took a moment before responding, surprised at how bereft he felt now that she'd stepped away from him.

"Does that mean we can stop these practices? In the name of not beating each other up anymore?" He gave her a smirk.

"With all the progress you have made? Think again, buddy," she replied as she grabbed her things to leave. "I will see you here next week," she said as she left the room.

He stared after her. For a while, he had suspected she used these practices and her sparring sessions with Jim, Cupcake, and all the countless other red shirts as a way of feeling in control of herself, of doing something tangible to prove to herself that she wouldn't be the victim again if she were attacked. What had changed was that he too was using these sessions to prepare. If she ever fell into harm's way and he was there, he didn't want her to have to fight alone. Sure, the sessions were good for his own purposes. But they also allowed him to, hopefully, prove to her that if she ever needed help again, he'd be there for her.

* * *

Jim looked over at Spock as they waited, one more patiently than the other, for the Enterprise to find them and beam them aboard. It was another away mission gone awry. Or a day of the week that ended in "-day."

"So, uh, do Vulcans really have sex with their hands?" Jim finally asked. Spock looked at him with a typically impassive face, though someone like Jim, who had spent enough time with him, knew it as Spock's surprised face.

"What a strange question, Captain. May I ask why you would choose now to ask?"

"Not really fair to answer a question with a question," Jim grumbled. "I asked because I was remembering the time you and I were trapped by that wumperat."

Spock lifted an eyebrow. That memory was one of several that he brought forward in his mind during certain restless nights.

"You wish to know if we inadvertently had sexual relations when you grabbed my hand?" Spock asked.

Jim nodded in response and Spock made the Vulcan equivalent of a sigh.

"The human fixation with sex has led to many misunderstandings about Vulcan mating practices," Spock began. "We do not mate with our hands."

"But… is it like foreplay?" Jim asked, his curiosity overcoming whatever inhibitions he may have had against asking Spock about sex.

"That would seem to be a more apt analogy. But even that does not completely explain it. Because we are telepaths, whereas humans are not, there is not a completely comparable human activity."

"Latour's a telepath. Does she experience the same kind of…activity… with her hands?"

Spock gave the captain another bland look which Jim registered as one of shock, tinged with dismay.

"I have not discussed such matters with Doctor Latour. You would have to ask her yourself," Spock replied.

"Sorry, Spock. I'm not trying to offend you. I just want to understand," Jim said with a display of earnestness.

The first officer sized up his friend and captain.

"I would imagine the doctor experiences a similar sensitivity in her palms. Generally speaking, touch telepaths have increased sensitivity in the area where their abilities are centered. This area tends to be the hands. Touching hands can be a very pleasurable experience between two consenting telepaths. With a willing and knowledgeable non-telepathic companion, contact between hands is also gratifying. But a touch telepath does not experience sexual feelings every time they touch someone else's hand."

Jim nodded thoughtfully at the information Spock had shared. But he was very aware of the fact that Spock had not answered one question.

"So when we were trapped and I grabbed your hand. And we kept holding hands after the danger had passed….none of that was…you weren't aroused?"

"I realize you do not care for questions in lieu of answers, but to answer you, I must ask: were you?" Spock looked at Jim with what almost appeared to be a challenge in his eyes.

This was the closest the two men had come to admitting their potential attraction. Had Uhura not made it clear to Jim a few weeks earlier that she and Spock were 100% over, Jim would never have had the courage to start the conversation. But the young captain who had faced down Nero, saved his ship and come back to life after Khan, and saved Yorktown starbase via the Beastie Boys was not yet brave enough to admit his feelings. So he didn't answer. And his lack of answer meant the Vulcan next to him had no logical reason to pursue the conversation.

However, attraction and infatuation are seldom logical. So while the men remained silent, sitting next to one another against the rocky wall of a cliff, their hands crept closer and closer. By the time Jim's communicator chirped, an eager Scotty on the other end, telling them the Enterprise had found their signals and could beam them aboard, their fingertips had just grazed one another. Spock was still sporting a greenish flush from the sensation of Jim's fingers against his own as he stood to be transported. Jim could still feel the electric sensations their contact had generated in his gut when they heard an ominous rustling in the leaves.

"Scotty, we need to be beamed up now," he called out into his communicator.

"I'm doin' the best I can, Cap'n," came the response. "There's some interference on the ground."

"Don't I know it," Jim grumbled as the two men were surrounded by several of the hostile humanoids of the planet, each armed to the teeth.

At once, Scotty locked on their signals and began to beam them up. But before they had completely transported, a hostile rushed forward, his spear aimed at Jim. Before he could react, Spock jumped in front of him and the last thing he saw as they dissolved into the transporter beam was Spock with a spear sticking out of his gut.

* * *

"Get Bones now," Jim yelled as they beamed onto the Enterprise's platform. In front of him, Spock crumpled to the ground, the stick still protruding from his stomach.

"Stay with me, Spock," Jim murmured as he propped the barely-conscious Vulcan's head on his lap. Spock grabbed his hand. Again, Jim felt the tingling that contact with Spock had given him just minutes earlier, but this time, his eyes were clouded with tears that threatened to spill over.

McCoy appeared in the transporter room with a stretcher and Jim looked up at him helplessly.

"Don't worry," the doctor comforted his friend. "We'll take care of him."

But Jim wasn't letting Spock out of his sight and he followed the stretcher to med bay. Once there, M'Benga, the resident expert on Vulcan anatomy and physiology, took over. It took him seconds to determine the best course of action.

"I have to operate now," M'Benga told McCoy and Jim. He'd been called in to work once the mission planetside had gone wrong. M'Benga had spent many shifts like this, on-call because of the slightest chance Spock might be injured. But now, he was needed and he took his work seriously. Sabine had left med bay hours ago – she would cover Geoff's Gamma shift that night.

"Doctor, you have to save him," Jim said softly, clutching M'Benga's arm.

"I'll do the best I can, Captain. It's a nasty wound and there's a chance they pierced his heart," Geoff replied, delicately removing the captain's hand from his arm so he could go into the operating room.

Hours later, M'Benga emerged from surgery. Jim was still there. He'd refused to listen when McCoy had told him to go back to his quarters and rest. But McCoy had convinced him to wait in his office, away from the curious eyes of the med bay staff. It was there that M'Benga found the blue-eyed man, looking miserable.

"He'll live," Geoff said immediately, never one to draw out life and death matters.

The change in Jim's demeanor was immediate but before he allowed himself to feel too much relief, he raised his eyebrows at the doctor, willing him to give more details.

"It was close, Captain. Much too close for comfort. But he'll make a full recovery. It'll take some time though," M'Benga continued.

At the words 'full recovery,' Jim threw himself at the doctor and hugged him fiercely.

"Thank you," he whispered as he pulled away.

"Don't thank me. Spock's got a strong will to live," M'Benga replied. "A lesser man would have died on that table."

Jim didn't care how much the doctor deflected – he knew for a fact that M'Benga had helped save Spock's life and he thanked every star in the firmament that he'd brought Sabine aboard, and that she'd chosen to bring Geoff with her. Even if she and McCoy never ended up more than friends, as far as Jim was concerned, she and M'Benga had given him something he'd never be able to pay back. The image of a spear sticking out of Spock's gut had haunted him in the hours since and the only reason he'd be sleeping peacefully this night, or any after, was because M'Benga was so competent. Jim knew that was the secret to the Enterprise's success. He was just one man. But he had surrounded himself with the best.

Later, when Spock had regained consciousness and was allowed to have visitors, Jim sat by his side.

"You know, just because I died doesn't mean you should too," he scolded his first officer, only half-kidding.

"Captain, I can assure you my intent was not to die, merely to protect you," Spock answered quietly. In the privacy given by the curtains surrounding Spock's bed, Jim reached over and grabbed the Vulcan's hand in his own.

"Next time, just use your phaser, okay?"

Spock didn't answer, but the two men enjoyed the silence as they held hands a few seconds longer.


	100. Chapter 100

"Oh Scotty, this is really good," Sabine exhaled after taking a sip of Scotty's latest batch of engineering whiskey.

"Ya like it then?" the Scotsman asked her with wide eyes.

"Yes! And I do not normally like dark liquors. But this…mmm, this is delicious." Sabine wondered if all the bourbon she'd been drinking with McCoy was starting to affect her tastes in alcohol.

"It's not the worst thing I've ever tasted," McCoy said, with his typical aplomb.

"Glad to hear it," Scotty replied, long inured to McCoy's inability to say anything too nice.

"I'd take a bottle or two," Nyota added as she finished her sip.

"Aye, lass, I'll remember that," Scotty said, satisfied with the responses he was receiving. "Now don't forget – no one says anything about this on the bridge."

McCoy rolled his eyes and Sabine gently touched Scotty's arm.

"You are aware Jim knows about this, yes?" she asked, gesturing to the rather-hard-to-hide distillery behind them.

"He's stood right here and looked at it," Uhura added.

"It's not Jim I'm worried about," Scotty replied. "It's Mister Spock I would prefer to keep in the dark."

"Spock's not gonna do anything about this. Not as long as Jim's given his approval," McCoy responded.

"You say that, Doctor, but are ye so sure? I'd rather not take me chances," Scotty answered gravely.

"Don't worry, Scotty. This will continue to be the third worst-kept secret on the ship," Nyota assured the chief of engineering.

"If poker night is the first worst-kept secret, what is the second?" Sabine asked with curiosity as the group made its way to the turbolift.

Nyota gave her a playful look. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Do you know?" Sabine asked McCoy and Scotty while they all stepped into the turbolift.

"Think I've got a pretty good idea," McCoy replied with mock grimness while Scotty smiled broadly.

"Mmm, come on. You cannot keep me in the dark," Sabine pleaded with the group.

"I'll give you a hint. It involves two people we were just discussing," Nyota said, her eyes dancing. She loved being able to share gossip with the uninitiated.

"Jim? And Spock?" Sabine looked around the turbolift as her friends gave her looks that varied from "How do you not know about this already?" (McCoy) to "Add it together…" (Nyota) to "I'm just happy I know what's going on!" (Scotty).

"I do not understand. What about the captain and first officer?" Sabine finally asked.

Nyota pulled the stop lever on the turbolift.

"Seriously? You've never seen them together and thought, 'Hmmmm'?" she asked the other woman.

"Hmmmm, what?" Sabine asked.

"For fuck's sake, we're gonna be here forever if you don't just tell her and I am not a fan of small spaces filled with too many people," McCoy griped. He turned to Sabine. "We think they're in denial about their feelings for each other. Either that, or they're already together and playing the rest of us for fools."

Sabine opened her mouth then closed it as she processed what he'd told her.

"Jim and Spock? Huh. That…that would explain a lot," she finally murmured. McCoy hit the lever to get the turbolift moving again.

"Right? All their interactions make so much more sense if you realize they have a thing for each other," Nyota said.

Sabine exited the turbolift feeling enlightened, as though a mystery of the universe had just been explained. She and McCoy walked to med bay.

"How long has this been going on?" she asked him.

"Some people will tell you it's always been like this but I think it really started after Jim 'died' and came back. The two of them have had this weird thing since then," McCoy answered.

"And Ny is fine with it?" Sabine hadn't sensed any sadness or resentment from the other woman when they were in the turbolift.

"Well, you saw her. I mean, I think it might have been a little rough initially, but she's come around."

"Is that why she stopped seeing Spock altogether a few months ago?"

"I don't know. You should ask her. I'm sure that's a perfect question for girls' night," McCoy grumbled.

"I wish I could attend poker night one of these times. How are they with each other when you all get together?" Sabine asked McCoy eagerly.

He rolled his eyes. "This is exactly why poker night is supposed to be a secret. The last thing we need is you ladies showing up and taking notes," McCoy replied.

"You ladies? Please. Do not turn this into a sexist screed against women. You are one of the biggest gossips on this ship," Sabine said to McCoy, her voice full of accusation.

"The hell I am," he replied indignantly.

"You absolutely are," she shot back, full of righteous condemnation. "Everyone knows if you want to find out what is happening with someone, you ply McCoy with some alcohol."

"Now you take that back," he sputtered.

"I will not," she said stubbornly. "You admit you enjoy gossiping. Admit that every poker night, you find out a bunch of secrets and then spend the rest of the week spreading them around the ship."

"No more than anyone else! I'm not the only one to blame for all the gossip in this goddamn tin can full of idiots."

She cut him a look.

"You don't believe me? Fine. Come to poker night. See for yourself."

"I will! And I am bringing Ny with me!" Sabine stuck her chin out defiantly. McCoy looked away, a flush spreading across his cheeks. Every time she made that little jut with her chin, it made him want to kiss her. God, he hated (but secretly loved) when she got defiant. Sabine took his silence as a sign of defeat and concession.

And that was how Sabine and Nyota became the first two women to join the poker night ritual. There was some grumblings at first, especially when both women turned out to be masterful players. Sabine had to swear multiple times that she wasn't using telepathy to figure out everyone else's cards. But soon enough, the group began to wonder why they hadn't invited ladies from the start. As for who deserved the crown of biggest gossip, it was debatable. McCoy was certainly in the running. But so was Uhura. Sulu and Chekov were no slouches themselves. And even Jim wasn't above the fray, though he was scrupulous about never revealing things he learned through his role as captain, playing intermediary when tough and delicate situations arose with crew members.

* * *

Sabine needed to get into the office. McCoy had taken a patient's PADD in with him and that PADD contained the information she required to catch up on what had been done since her last shift. She looked at the light above the office. It was green, meaning the door was unlocked. McCoy was good about locking the office when he didn't want to be disturbed and even then, he usually didn't mind when she or Geoff would drop in to grab whatever they needed. She punched her code in and the doors whooshed open. Sabine entered the office quickly, the doors shutting behind her.

McCoy was at the desk, looking at a holoscreen. He gave her a slight nod and refocused on the conversation he was having.

"I know, Ma, but it's not that simple. Jocelyn doesn't want Jo traveling this far out to visit."

Sabine searched the office for the PADD she needed, trying to be as quiet as possible, painfully aware that McCoy was talking to his mother, a woman who was probably not her biggest fan.

"It seems silly that she'll let Jo take weekend trips to Mars with her friends but won't let her come see you when you're on shore leave," Mrs. McCoy insisted.

"Well, first, we don't always get a lot of notice for shore leave," McCoy replied patiently. "Sometimes it comes up while Jo's in classes. I'm not gonna fault Jocelyn for not wanting Jo to miss school. Second, I'm not so sure Jo ought to meet us wherever we take shore leave. Some of those planets aren't the best place for a thirteen year old."

"Why can't Jo come visit you on the ship? Surely there's enough happening to amuse her while you're working?"

McCoy snorted derisively. "I'm not having Jo come aboard this ship. Jim takes too many risks."

Sabine had exhausted her search, save for a stack of PADDs next to McCoy on the desk. She motioned to them. He raised his eyebrow and handed them to her.

"Do I need to let you go?" she heard Mrs. McCoy ask.

"No, Ma. I'm just giving Latour some PADDs she needs."

"Sabine! Are you there, dear?"

Sabine froze in place and gave McCoy a panicked stare. He shrugged his shoulders and motioned for her to come over.

As he watched Sabine walk around the desk and come to stand beside him, McCoy quickly ascertained she was worried. He tried to give her a look to indicate everything would be fine but he couldn't be sure she got it.

"Hi, Mrs. McCoy," Sabine said timidly, once she had joined him. She crouched slightly next to his chair to ensure she was in the frame of the holorecorder.

"Now, I know it's been a while, dear, but don't go getting too formal – it's still Eleanora to you."

"Sorry, Eleanora. How are you?"

"Wonderful! Even better now that I'm seeing you. My son isn't working you too hard, is he?"

"No ma'am. He keeps me just busy enough to stay out of trouble," Sabine said with a genuine smile.

"Glad to hear. Leonard, you should make sure Sabine's around more often when we chat." McCoy rolled his eyes and Sabine took that as a sign to make an exit.

"I am sorry to leave like this but I have to see to a patient," she noted. "It was lovely to see you again, Eleanora!"

"You too, dear! Don't be a stranger! Jo still asks about you all the time!"

Sabine was surprised but she hid her emotions quickly. "Tell her I say hello," she replied, before standing and crossing the room to grab the PADD she needed.

McCoy continued to converse with his mother and she moved to leave the office. "Sorry," she mouthed at him before opening the door. He raised an eyebrow and smirked in response.

Later, he found her out on the floor.

"Sorry to catch you by surprise back there," he said comfortably. "I shouldn't have taken all those PADDs with me. Didn't anticipate taking a holo comm from Ma."

"No worries," Sabine replied. "If I had realized you were on a holo comm, I would have waited. My apologies."

The two doctors made their way back to the office.

"She's crazy about you, ya know," McCoy replied.

"Your mother?"

"Yep. And Joanna too. Ma wasn't kidding. Almost every time I talk to Jo, she asks about you. They both do."

"It has been so long," Sabine said, somewhat befuddled, "and they only met me once."

"You make a helluva impression," McCoy noted wryly.

Sabine turned to face him. Her eyes were filled with emotions, some of which he hadn't anticipated.

"I…I imagine that was hard for you, having your mother and your daughter ask about someone who hurt you. I…never meant…"

He crossed the room quickly. "Hey, it's okay. I didn't tell you so you'd be upset." He rubbed her softly on her upper arm. "You look like someone just stole your birthday."

Sabine looked up at McCoy, who was staring down at her with worried eyes. Now she felt even worse. She didn't want him to worry about her anymore than she wanted to find out his mother and daughter had been inquiring about her for the last five years. She had not thought enough about the impact of her actions when she decided to alter his memories. Sabine would've given anything in that moment to go back and re-do the day she'd left earth. She buried her emotions and smiled at McCoy, fake as it felt.

"I probably should not mind a stolen birthday or two – they only get worse from here, yes?"

"You don't look a day past fifty," he said with a wicked gleam in his eyes. She glared at him and punched his arm while he laughed before getting serious again.

"It's weird. Mama hated Jocelyn the minute she found out why we were divorcing. But you? Maybe she just knew there was something redeemable about you. I'll never know. But she's been one of your biggest fans all along."

"That was annoying, I am sure," Sabine said cautiously.

"No more annoying than having to admit she might've been right this whole time. You might not be completely awful."

"Careful. I would hate to get an inflated ego from such kind words," Sabine deadpanned, taking her cues from McCoy and keeping the mood light even if complicated emotions were swirling around within her.

"Look, the next time I talk to Jo…you wouldn't mind…" McCoy felt awkward making the request.

"Of course! If it is okay with you. Do not do this just because you feel like you have to."

"Don't worry. I'm not doing anything I don't want to do. Besides, now that Ma's seen you, she'll tell Jo and I'll have no peace till Jo gets to see you too."

"Joanna is thirteen," Sabine replied with a touch of incredulousness. "Time goes by so fast. Does she still like horses?"

"Oh yeah. She likes space now too – says she wants to join Starfleet, God help us all. And she's discovered boys," McCoy said with a soul-crushing weariness as he flopped into the chair behind his desk. It was Sabine's turn to laugh.

The doctors talked for another few minutes before returning to the floor. McCoy would rather face angry Klingons than confess how pleased he was that his plan to get Sabine talking with his mother had worked. Sabine had come into his office at the perfect time. He'd been looking for a way to pacify the constant questions Eleanora and Jo volleyed at him regarding the other doctor, which had started when they'd found out the two were back on friendly terms (thanks to Jim's inability to keep anything McCoy-related a secret). This had proven to be the easiest way to satisfy everyone. He would never admit to deliberately taking PADDs he knew she'd be looking for with him to make that comm back to Georgia. As far as anyone knew, it had been a happy coincidence.

Later, when he holo commed Joanna and she saw Sabine sitting next to him, the young girl was ecstatic.

After the holo comm was over, Sabine gave him a knowing look.

"What?" McCoy asked her, a little bit of gruffness in his tone.

"You are happy. I do not see you this content very often," she replied.

He thought about it. He  _was_  happy. He liked seeing his daughter's face light up when he commed her.

"Yeah, I guess I have my moments," he finally admitted. "When this is all over," he gestured around them to his quarters, "I look forward to getting back to Atlanta."

"Is that what you will do after the five-year mission ends?" Sabine hadn't given much thought to what she would do after the ship returned to Earth. It was over a year away and she'd lived her life in increments of days and months, never knowing if she'd be alive another year into the future. It was strange to contemplate what she would do after this. This was all she could imagine.

"Yeah, I reckon it is. Jocelyn's still Jocelyn but she's settled down a bit since the divorce and she knows Jo wants to see me more. Ma's getting older and needs help with the house. It'll be mine when she goes – everyone else has their own places. Figure I'll open a practice there, like what my dad did. It'll be nice, getting to see Jo graduate from high school, go off to college…"

Sabine realized he had a whole life planned out after the Enterprise. Further, she discovered there was a part of her that yearned for what he was describing. It wasn't adventure and discovery – it was home. He could have told her he wanted to live on a fishing boat in the middle of the ocean, and that would have felt like home too.  _He_  felt like home to her and the idea of him leaving to settle down filled her with the most peculiar ache. She was happy for him, happy that he had something to look forward to after this. But she knew it was a life separate from hers. And that revelation hit her hard.

"What about you?" he asked her, studying her closely. "What'll you do after this mission is over?"

"I had not thought much about it," she said truthfully. "I suppose I will look to the next mission."

He chuckled. "You and Jim – couple of nomads at heart." He came over and stood beside her, looking out the small view screen of his quarters with her. "You'd make a damn fine CMO, you know," he said softly. "I'd feel good handing things over to you – knowing you were there to keep Jim from killing himself and everyone else."

"I thought you believed he and I were a dangerous combination?" she asked with more mirth than she felt.

"Well, hopefully Spock'll stay on to keep the two of you outta complete disaster," he replied.

Later that night, as she struggled to fall asleep, Sabine promised herself that if he didn't remember the truth before the Enterprise returned to Earth, she would let him go. Let McCoy have the life he had planned for himself and wish him all the best. It was only fair. She couldn't force him to stay with her if he didn't remember the truth. And even if he did, who was to say he'd still want a life with her? Better to start reconciling herself now to the fact that their time together was limited. She needed to appreciate what they had instead of always wishing for more. It didn't stop the ache inside her but it felt like the right thing to do and she knew he deserved that – for her to finally do right by him.

* * *

Sabine was late for holomovie night.

If it had been any other event, she would have cancelled – she'd pulled a muscle that morning while warming up, spilled hot tea on her uniform just before her shift was supposed to start, and then the shift itself had been horrendous, leaving her tired and irritable. But holomovie night was a sacred event on the Enterprise and one of her favorite past-times on the ship. There were still so many holomovies she had never seen and the more she watched, the more jokes she began to understand between the other officers. She was starting to think they communicated only in holomovie quotes. So she wasn't going to miss it no matter how bad the day had been. When she got to the rec room, it was full. She scanned the crowd, which had to be at least a hundred crew members deep, looking for a place to sit when she saw a hand waving at her from the back. It was McCoy. He'd saved her a seat by him on one of the couches. She made her way back to him and tucked herself in between him and Nyota, who gave her a meaningful look.

"Sorry I am late," she whispered to them both.

"Bad day?" McCoy asked, taking in her somewhat haggard appearance.

"You could say that," she replied. "Remind me to tell you how much I detest Ensign Wilson later."

He gave her a sympathetic smile. Ensign Wilson was a hypochondriac and notorious for spending hours in med bay, trying to avoid his actual job. He was rude to nurses and doctors alike and he'd learned to avoid visiting when McCoy was around, leaving Sabine and M'Benga to deal with his shit.

"You're a better person than most for putting up with him for so long," McCoy whispered to her before Janice threw popcorn at them and shushed them. When McCoy turned his attention back to the screen, Sabine reached over and touched Ny's arm.

What? Why did you look at me like that when I got here?

_He saved a spot for you. That wasn't me. He insisted we leave enough space for you._

Mmm, I did tell him I would be here tonight.

_Yeah, okay. That's why he was so insistent. Keep telling yourself that._

Sabine could feel the other woman's eyeroll. She removed her hand from Ny's arm and focused on the holomovie. Throughout the movie, the three friends would move around on the couch, finding the most comfortable position. At some point, McCoy put his arm on the back of the couch and shifted so that Sabine found herself leaning towards him. Without thinking, she rested her head against his shoulder, something she had done so many times when they'd been dating. Before long, his arm wasn't just idling on the back of the couch – it was firmly wrapped around her and she had nestled in against his side. Nyota was happy as a clam, sneaking sideways glances at the two of them and exchanging significant looks with other officers who noticed the duo.

When the movie was over, people began filing out of the rec room but McCoy looked down and saw that Sabine had fallen asleep against him. He wasn't going anywhere.

"You gonna wake her up?" Nyota asked him as more of the room started to clear out. There were always some stragglers who stuck around to talk and grab a drink so it wasn't like he'd be alone with Sabine sleeping against him.

"Not yet. Sounds like she had a pretty shitty day. I'll let her sleep a little longer," he said, looking down at the woman curled up against him and lightly brushing her hair out of her face.

"Well, you want something to drink then?" Nyota asked, wishing she could figure out a discreet way to take a holo without McCoy knowing. Seeing the two of them like this was the damned cutest thing she'd seen all day and that was saying something because she'd been scrolling through tribble holos earlier.

"You know I'll never turn down a bourbon," he replied.

They sat around talking with some of the other officers for about 45 minutes before Sabine woke up.

"Hey there, sleepyhead," said a familiar drawl.

Sabine took a moment to figure out where she was. Once she realized she was surrounded by some of the officers and had fallen asleep against McCoy, she shot up and away from him, embarrassed.

"How long has the holomovie been over?" she asked Nyota as Sulu and Chekov snickered.

"A while. Don't worry about it," the other woman replied, handing her a glass of wine. "Looks like you could use this."

Conversation kept going for a little longer before the group decided to call it a night. They all tumbled into the turbolift together and got out on the deck for officers quarters. McCoy and Sabine walked back to their quarters together because everyone else had quarters on the other end of the corridor.

"I did not mean to fall asleep on you," Sabine said apologetically once they were alone.

"Don't apologize. I didn't mind at all," he replied amiably. "Figured you could probably use the rest if Wilson was giving you shit all day."

She made an irritated sound. "He is such a pain in the ass. I think I missed most of the holomovie because I was so damn tired."

"Come over some night and we can watch it again. It's one of my favorites," McCoy invited her without batting an eye.

"Yes? You would not mind?"

"You kidding? I'll even cook for you."

Sabine blinked in happy surprise. He was a great cook but making actual meals on the ship was a pain so no one did it very often. She knew it wasn't a huge deal but it still felt significant that he was inviting her over for dinner and a holomovie.

"I would love that," she replied. "But only if you let me bring dessert."

"You drive a hard bargain, sweetheart," he said with a smile. As they'd walked, they had passed his door and were now in front of hers. "We'll take a look at our schedules tomorrow and find a good time, okay?" he asked, leaning against the doorframe.

She nodded. "Thank you," she said softly. "For the invite and for letting me use you as a pillow."

"Don't get too used to it, okay? Can't have you drifting off in staff meetings," he teased.

"No, that is more your purview," she shot back with a grin.

"It was just that once and even you admitted Nurse D-Geeya's presentation was incredibly boring."

"It was the worst," she agreed. "Goodnight, McCoy." She leaned over and gave him a hug, followed by two air kisses on either side of his face.

"G'night, Latour," he replied, surprised and pleased by the hug and kisses – she'd told him, way back on their first date, about the air kisses. They were her people's way of saying hello and goodbye. He'd forgotten all about them till that moment. Sabine entered her quarters and McCoy walked back to his, humming a little song on the way, a silly smile on his face.

* * *

"Come on, Spock. You're telling me Vulcans don't get attached to their pets? I don't buy it," Jim said in disbelief.

"I did not say Vulcans do not have feelings for their pets. Rather, I said it was more common for Vulcan children than adults." Spock made his move on the chess board and Jim took a moment to analyze his options.

"Okay, okay. So you had a pet as a kid?" Jim asked as he moved one of his rooks.

"I did," the Vulcan replied, as he steepled his fingers in front of his face, contemplating his friend's strategy.

"What was it?" McCoy asked with disinterest as he read his PADD. In theory, he showed up for the chess matches but really, he was there to watch his friends flirt awkwardly.

"A sehlat," Spock answered.

"What the hell is a sehlat?" McCoy grumbled.

"A sehlat," Spock began, "looks something like a teddy bear…" At that McCoy smiled wide and got ready to make a joke, however, Spock had anticipated the doctor's reaction. "A teddy bear with six inch fangs. It is not cute. A selhat can be very dangerous. If you make a wrong move around one, it may rip your arm off."

"But Vulcans never make wrong moves, huh?" asked Jim.

"That would be illogical," Spock responded. "What about you, Captain?"

Jim shot Spock a dirty look.

"My apologies. What about you, Jim? What was your childhood pet?"

"You know, we really didn't have pets. Mom was always gone and Frank was too much of an asshole for animals. But there were rabbits that lived on the farm. They were wild but they'd been around humans so long, they wouldn't run away from us. I remember one Spring – I was probably about 9 years old – and I found a nest of baby bunnies in the front yard. They were so tiny – like mice. There were also a lot of feral cats around and this big tabby spotted the nest at about the same time I found it. The mother rabbit had fled to give the babies a chance to remain hidden. So I stayed there, out on the lawn, all night long. Every time that cat came around, I chased it away. But around 2 or 3am, I fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning, the nest had been destroyed. That damn cat got all the babies. The mother rabbit came back around and I remember feeling so guilty…."

Jim had stared at his hands as he'd started telling the story and he looked up to see both McCoy and Spock staring at him, the doctor with a look of sadness and the Vulcan with his typical, impenetrable, unemotional expression.

"Anyway, when I moved out, I got a dog for a few years," Jim said brightly to make up for the sad story. "I think it's your move, Spock."

"Of course," the Vulcan replied, moving his remaining bishop. Jim looked at the board and smiled. He moved his queen.

"Checkmate," he said with a light in his eyes.

"That's the second time this week," McCoy noted. "Y'all are tied. Tomorrow decides the week's winner."

"We should put a wager on it," Jim said enthusiastically.

"Vulcans are not gamblers," Spock replied.

McCoy turned his PADD off. "I've got plans tomorrow night so one of you let me know who wins, alright?" The two nodded at him and he left. Increasingly, McCoy wanted to give the two men time alone, to see if it would speed things up between them. Not to mention, he had a dinner to fix for his fellow doctor. He kept hoping one of these days, he'd walk into Jim's quarters and find the two men holding hands or something that would indicate they'd reached a new level.

Meanwhile, Spock uncharacteristically cleared his throat. Jim looked up from rearranging the chess board.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Your story about the rabbits," Spock began, hesitating a moment until Jim nodded at him to continue. "Given what I know about you from serving with you and sharing stories–"

"And melding. Don't forget you've been in my head," Jim reminded his friend.

As if Spock could ever forget.

"Ah, yes," he almost stuttered, if Vulcans could ever do something so spontaneous. "It seems to me that you take on guilt for many things which are not your fault. It leads me to wonder how much blame you feel for the losses we have suffered on this ship. I am concerned that you maintain a cheerful veneer to hide just how much each death or injury affects you."

Jim stared at his friend for a moment before answering. "For someone who claims to be emotionless, you sure do have a tight grasp on how emotional humans can be."

"I never claimed to be devoid of emotion. Vulcans feel, quite powerfully in fact. But we choose to keep our emotions in check."

"So you'd know a thing or two about hiding feelings, right?" Jim challenged him.

"Yes," Spock answered simply. "Which is why I am discussing this with you. My offer to teach you Vulcan meditation techniques remains open."

Normally, Jim was quick to reject the offer. Spock had made it so many times. But he was feeling generous this evening.

"And if I took you up on this offer? Would we be doing this with Latour?" Jim was aware that Sabine had been meditating with Spock since joining the crew. She'd had nothing but positive things to say about the practice.

"I would prefer meeting one on one," Spock replied. "You would need time to reach the same level of meditation that Doctor Latour has achieved. And meditation is meant to be a very personal act – something not shared in groups."

"So it'd be just you and me?" Jim asked, with a certain gleam in his eye.

"Correct," Spock responded.

"Alright, let's give it a try," Jim said. "You've been trying to get me to do this for years. Time for me to see what all the fuss is about."

Spock lifted an eyebrow and gave the slightest of smiles. "I do not think you'll be disappointed, Jim."

The other man smirked, secretly relishing the sound of his name coming from the Vulcan.

"We'll see," Jim said.

* * *

Nyota watched the two doctors at the officers table in the mess hall as they ate dinner. Sabine would roll the cherry tomatoes in her salad to the side and McCoy would spear them with his fork. He left his green beans untouched and Sabine ate them when he'd finished his chicken. For two people who tried to deny mutual romantic interest, they sure acted like an old, married couple. She caught Sabine's eye and arched a perfect eyebrow at the other woman just as Sabine was finishing off the green beans. Per usual, Sabine ignored her.

McCoy looked down at his PADD.

"Shit, it's already 1900 hours," he said to Sabine, as he threw his napkin down on his plate and grabbed his tray.

"Mmm, really?" she replied, likewise grabbing her tray.

"We have lab time right now," she explained to Nyota's unasked question.

"That damn Vulcan and his science team have been hoggin' the lab all week. It's the only time we could get in," McCoy grumbled in clarification.

Sabine shot him a look.

"What? It's true," he told her.

"If you would just tell him you want time in the lab, he would accommodate you," Sabine chided him.

They left, bickering playfully with one another.

"Lab time, my ass," Sulu said when they were out of earshot.

"You zink zey are together and keeping it a secret like ze Keptin and Meester Spock?" Chekov asked.

"It's gonna screw the books if they are," Scotty complained.

"Guys, come on. This is about more than the bets," Uhura chided the men, even though she had a pretty sizable bet resting on McCoy and Sabine finally getting together…and a slightly smaller bet on Jim and Spock.

"Well, I can tell you this – they aren't messing around in med bay," Christine said conspiratorially.

"And just how do you know that?" Janice asked.

"She's got holo cams on them," Sulu said with a wicked grin.

"A nurse never reveals her secrets," Christine replied primly.

"I don't zink the doctors are together yet," Chekov replied thoughtfully.

"Me either," Janice added, smiling at the young Russian. "Too much sexual tension still. You can almost see the sparks bouncing off them."

"If they're not together, why are they racing out of here for lab time?" Sulu asked skeptically.

"Maybe some people actually like their jobs – and do them well," Nyota replied innocently, setting off a series of titters around the table.

"Literally my first day in the helmsman's seat and you're still busting my balls over it all this time later?" Sulu asked her. "Anyone coulda made the same mistake." She gave him a sweet smile.

"Speaking of sexual tension," Christine said quietly as Jim and Spock walked into the mess hall together.

"This is my favorite," Scotty said with a huge grin. "I love watchin' the two of 'em together!"

"Pull yourselves together," Nyota hissed as Scotty and Janice started giggling to one another. "You wanna give it all away?"

The two officers recovered just as Jim and Spock sat down.

"Where's Bones?" Jim asked the group.

"He and Latour took off," Sulu replied. "Said they had 'lab time.'"

"Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" Jim asked with a grin that matched the one Sulu was giving him. "What's the bet on them up to? And should we consider betting on when they're gonna get caught together?"

"Keptin, we are one step ahead of you," Chekov replied, his PADD screen already on the appropriate page within the bet book. "We have options – you can place a wager on just whezer zey are together or you can bet on when zey will get together…or get caught."

Jim and Chekov reviewed the odds for different times and Jim placed a bet. Spock remained silent, finding the whole bet book conversation repugnant. Jim could sense his condemnation and turned to the first officer.

"Lighten up, Spock. It's not like we're engaging in sex slave trafficking or something."

"I wonder how you would feel if it were your private life in that book, being bet upon."

"I don't think I'd care," Jim replied with a shrug. He turned to Chekov. "You got any bets on me in there?"

Chekov scrambled to put the PADD away. "No sir," he assured the captain while Scotty began to choke on the bite of food he'd just taken. Christine gave Scotty a hard thwack on the back while Nyota kicked him under the table. Janice got up with her tray and left, hiding the giggles she couldn't otherwise contain.

"See?" Jim said to Spock, acting completely oblivious to the antics around them. "It's fine."

Spock remained unconvinced. Jim knew for a fact there were bets on him. He just wasn't sure what they were. But he hadn't been lying – he didn't care. As long as the crew had some amusement to keep them out of trouble, Jim was fine with whatever bets they might be making. He was even a little proud of some of the rumored bets he'd heard about. The bet about whether he'd rip his shirt during away missions was one that still tickled him after all this time, even if the actual shirt ripping was less amusing to him – what was it about Starfleet tailors, anyway? Why couldn't they sew a seam that would hold to save their lives? Let the officers think he was unaware of their bets on him. If it kept the ship running and the crew happy, so be it.


	101. Chapter 101

"I heard from Cass the other day," McCoy said with false casualness before taking a sip of his bourbon.

Sabine gave him side-eye as she set her wine glass down.

"Mmm," she replied neutrally. He was not the person she was interested in conversing with regarding Cass. She'd never heard back from the other telepath after the message she'd sent about the Augments being destroyed and she had no idea what the state of their friendship was. It had been a while since Cass had visited the ship – the longest period of time she'd stayed away. McCoy knew it was because she was searching for her sister but Sabine wondered if it was because of her and she was both saddened and resentful if that was the case. Wherever she and Cass stood, the last thing she needed was for McCoy to get involved. As logical and unemotional about it as she tried to be, it still bothered her that he was attracted to the part-Betazoid.

The two doctors were in the officers' lounge for their semi-weekly drinks meet-up. McCoy was feeling secure enough in his friendship with Sabine to broach the subject of her relationship with Cass. He knew Jim was reaching out to Cass to ask her to do the same thing he was about to ask Sabine. It was something they'd discussed doing for a few weeks. But he could tell from Sabine's reaction the conversation would be an uphill battle. McCoy hoped Jim was having an easier time of things. He took a deep breath and decided to push forward.

"You know, back when I wanted nothing to do with you, Cass would tell me to set my anger aside and give you a chance."

Sabine bit her tongue to keep from asking if that was before or after he'd made a pass at the part-Betazoid. She knew a snide remark like that wasn't fair to him or to Cass. Her silence prompted McCoy to continue.

"She was right too. I wish I had listened to her. You and I could've been friends, and better work colleagues, sooner if I had. Whatever it is you're still angry at her for, it's not worth throwing your friendship away."

Sabine sighed. "Honestly, I do not even know if I am still angry at Cass."

"Well then why don't you just talk to her already?" McCoy knew the women's continued conflict was still a source of regret and frustration for Cass and he suspected Sabine felt similarly.

"It is not that simple, is it? I would think you, of all people, would understand that," Sabine snapped, remembering his conversation with Kirk outside the nightclub on Casperia Prime.

McCoy put his hands up. "Easy there. I'm trying to help, not start a fight."

"I know," Sabine replied, exhaling. "I apologize," she said, pausing for a moment before continuing, "I have tried to contact her. She did not respond. I am not sure what else to do. I wish it were not so difficult."

"It takes a lot of effort putting aside your emotions to reach out to someone who's hurt you. It's hard work. There are times, especially in the beginning, when it sucks and you're convinced you made the wrong choice. But it's worth it."

Sabine stared at him, her eyes full of emotions he couldn't begin to label.

"You do not regret it now? Not even occasionally?" She asked softly.

"No," he replied. "I haven't regretted it for a while now." He took a sip of his drink and then cocked an eyebrow at her as he resumed speaking. "I'll be completely honest. There are still days when I struggle to reconcile the woman sitting across from me right now with the woman I walked in on that day in the dorms."

She flinched but he continued.

"I'll never fully understand what happened back then. But I'm willing to concede it was an aberration. That you're the big-hearted, funny, and compassionate doctor I see before me. We all make mistakes and I want to be your friend because everything I know about you seems to tell me you learned from your mistake."

It wasn't quite accurate. Everything he knew told him she would never do something like that but he also knew what he'd seen. He just had to assume it had been some strange lapse in her behavior because nothing he'd read on telepathy, and none of his attempted conversations with Spock had provided him with another alternative.

She took a moment to collect herself before she spoke.

"Given what you remember about me, I am still surprised sometimes that you not only agreed to being civil, but that you have been so generous with your friendship. I am not sure I deserve your kindness."

"Well, I think you do. And if I can forgive you, why can't you do the same for Cass? She stood by you and defended you all those years after the Academy."

"You have no idea the extent of her support," Sabine said softly.

"I'm sure I don't. So what's holding you back? Talk to her and make things right between the two of you. I promise you," he swore to her, his hazel eyes boring into her own, "you will not regret burying the hatchet."

"You are right," she whispered. "I know you are."

"I usually am," he said, sitting back in his chair and giving her a smirk. She snorted and gave him her twisted grin.

"Modesty was always your strong suit, was it not?"

He raised his glass towards her. "To my unwavering humility."

She rolled her eyes but raised her glass to clink against his. "Yes, to your complete lack of arrogance."

They sipped their drinks in a companionable silence.

* * *

Later, in her own quarters, Sabine nervously paced the floor at the foot of her bed, her PADD in hand. She needed to just hit send. Hit send and hope Cass would reply. After a few more minutes of re-reading her message, she finally scrunched her eyes shut tightly and sent the message, tossing her PADD on the couch. She would have to hope what she'd written was enough to get Cass to respond.

Half an hour later, as she was about to climb into bed, she felt a familiar pinch. It had been so long since Cass – or any telepath besides Spock – had reached out to her. She sat down on the bed and opened her mind.

_I got your message. It's funny – I just talked to Jim tonight and he was asking about you – pestering me to contact you. Don't suppose he had a similar conversation with you?_

Not Jim. Leo talked to me earlier this evening.

_Why am I not surprised? Those two gossip more than any woman I've ever known. So, what's up?_

I…I wanted to talk to you. Is now a good time?

_Not really but there's never a good time anymore so now's as good as any. What's on your mind, Sabs?_

I tried to contact you a couple of times.

_I know. I wasn't sure what to say in response….I suppose I should have said thank you for offering to help with Aubrey and that I had heard about the fire. But you're not the only one still licking her wounds, you know._

I know. I miss you, Cass.

_Yeah, I kinda miss your shitty face too._

Sabine smiled in spite of herself. She missed Cass's foul mouth.

We will be okay, yes? Your offer of friendship is still out there?

She could feel Cass sigh before answering.

_The offer's still there. I don't know if we're gonna be okay – you're the time traveler. Not me. But I'd like to get past this._

Tell me what you need from me to make this work.

_I need my sister, Sabs. I miss her. I'm legitimately scared for her right now. I know she's still alive. I can feel her when I reach out. But she keeps blocking me and I'm so damn tired. I've had to fucking run a company by myself AND roam this god-forsaken shithole of a galaxy looking for my goddamn sister. Do you know how long it took me to find her the first time she ran away? YEARS! Fucking years! And now I'm at it again because you two decided to run into a relationship and not say a word to me._

Sabine wisely said nothing about the fact that Cass had never attempted to contact Aubrey after she had stormed out of their place on Yorktown upon finding out they were a couple. She could feel Cass's fatigue through the connection and realized this was one of those times she needed to let certain things go for the overarching good of the situation. She didn't need to be right in this fight; she just needed to end it.

I am sorry, Cass. I cannot undo what happened. Forgive me for not telling you sooner.

_I forgave you a while ago. I need you to understand exactly why I didn't want you and Aubrey to date. You probably assumed I was just jealous or bitchy but there's a legit reason, Sabs, and I'm willing to bet good credits Aubrey never shared it with you._

With that, Cass sent a series of memories from her childhood through the connection. In an instant, Sabine faced a barrage of images. She saw the Pike sisters as young children. Saw their father repeatedly pull Aubrey away to do unspeakable things to her. She felt Cass's confusion and resentment that Aubrey was the chosen one – the perfect daughter worthy of her father's attention. But as they grew older, Cass's resentment turned to relief when she came to understand the abuse her sister faced regularly. She saw Aubrey run away at age 11, leaving Cass alone to face her parents' anger and pain at losing their oldest daughter. A few years later, Cass ran away in her own way, seeking the relative safety of Section 31 over the landmine that was the Pike household.

Cass, I had no idea.

_You still don't. A few memories don't replicate what it was like growing up there. I got help but Aubrey never did. As an agent, I had to go to a counselor and talk about my life – work things out before I was allowed in the field. But Aubrey? All she's done is run away from problems her whole life. I didn't want you two to date because she doesn't know the first thing about what a healthy relationship is._

I wish I had known.

_Yeah, well, I wish you'd consulted me before shacking up and playing house with my sister. But we don't always get what we wish for, do we?_

She never said much about any of this. Even when I asked her about the past, she just said your dad was a jerk. I did not know he had abused her like that.

_He did. We all have demons, Sabs. And yeah, I made a crap decision to try to sleep with Bones. But you made some crap decisions too. I lost Aubrey and then, like a few months later, I lost you. And it sucks._

Cass was crying now and Sabine could feel her anger, sadness, and exasperation through the connection. She fed love and friendship through the line, relieved when Cass accepted the emotions.

_I don't want to lose my sister permanently. She's gone off to lick her wounds and do God knows what with God knows whom and I need to find her before she ends up dead in a Klingon gutter or worse. Jim filled me in on how things are going on the ship. I know you and Bones have buried the hatchet. The two of you will be fine. I'd like to be able to say the same about Aubrey._

Cass, let me help you. I want you to be happy again. I would do anything to make things right between us – all of us – you, me, and Aubrey.

_Put your credits where your mouth is. You wanna help? Then do it. We can be friends when I have the time to devote to anything other than finding Aubrey. But right now? That's my only goal._

Cass broke off the connection and Sabine sat on her bed, contemplating everything she'd just learned.

* * *

In her cruiser, Cass let out a string of expletives. She hadn't meant to unload on Sabine like that. But it was another shit day in another shit week of a shitty stretch of months and she was way past being polite and understanding. Time and time again, she would get a lead on where Aubrey was hiding, only to go to whatever far-flung location and find out she'd either barely missed her sister or the lead had been total bullshit. Cass was tired of trying to do everything. She knew she'd fucked up with Sabine. She knew her mistake was the kind of thing that broke a friendship. But so was hiding a relationship with her sister. Aubrey had her faults. There were so many, it could take days to list them all. But she was all Cass had left when it came to family and goddammit, she loved that fucked-up idiot. So, while a part of her was relieved that Sabine had reached out to patch things up, a bigger part of her was exhausted, emotionally high-strung, and not in the mood for anything less than a significant effort because she felt like she'd been rolling the same damn rock up a mountain for years now. Sabine could help her roll the rock for a little bit now.

Besides, Sabine had gotten what she wanted. Bones was speaking to her – they were friends. Cass rolled her eyes. Soon it would be more than friends – Cass would bet every credit she had on that.

She sighed and put her cruiser on autopilot. She needed some sleep. When she was done checking out this latest lead, she'd reach out and let Sabine know how happy she was to hear from the other woman. She just needed to get through the next few days.

* * *

The next morning, Sabine made a beeline for the bridge.

"Permission to come on the bridge?" she asked when Jim turned to see her at the threshold of the sliding doors.

"Granted," he replied, getting up and walking towards her. "You know you don't have to ask, Latour. You're free to come to the bridge when you want."

"Thank you. May I have a word with you, sir?"

Jim could tell something was up. Sabine was always formal with him in front of the rest of the crew but he could sense a nervous energy underneath her words.

"Sure. Come on," he replied, ushering her into the anteroom. "Spock, you've got the conn."

"What's going on?" he asked Sabine when they were alone.

"Jim, we have to help Cass find Aubrey," Sabine replied, her eyes wide with concern.

"You two talking again? That's great!" Jim smiled at Sabine but she did not return his enthusiasm.

"Somehow, I do not think this is a total surprise to you," Sabine replied shrewdly.

"Well," Jim said with a smile and shrug of his shoulders. "I'm just glad it worked."

"I am not so sure we are out of the woods yet. Cass needs our help."

Jim had offered to help Cass in the past and she'd always refused his assistance. But he'd seen her over the comm yesterday and knew how frazzled she was. Maybe this time, she'd accept aid from the Enterprise. It was the least they could do after all the times she'd visited them with supplies.

"Look, I would love to help Cass," he replied. "But we just got an assignment – one I'm gonna need both you and Bones to take on. What if I send a shuttle with some crew to help her wherever she is for now and promise that after we complete this assignment, we'll bring the rest of the ship to her? Would that work?"

Sabine looked at him with bright eyes. "I think that should," she answered. She hoped it would be enough to show Cass that they were serious and that she wouldn't have to continue the search for Aubrey alone.

"Let me send her a message. You want me to comm you when I hear from her?"

"Yes, please," Sabine replied.

Later in the day, when Sabine had started her shift in med bay, Jim commed her.

"I'm about to start a holovid comm with Cass. Care to join me in my ready room?" he asked.

Sabine looked over to McCoy and he nodded at her. "Go on," he whispered. "We're fine here."

A few minutes later, both Jim and Sabine were looking at Cass over the viewscreen in the ready room.

"Will that work, Cass?" Jim asked his friend after outlining his plan.

"Yeah, that would be fucking amazing. Thank you," Cass replied in relief. Sabine felt an ache in her chest looking at how thin her friend had become, the circles under her eyes, and the general air of weariness to her. She should have reached out to Cass long before now.

"As soon as our assignment is done, we will contact you," she said to Cass. "We will do whatever you need us to in order to find Aubrey."

"It might take a couple of weeks," Jim cautioned. "I don't know how long this assignment's gonna take. But you'll have one of our shuttles and some crew there and if you need more, comm us. We'll get you what we can until we can join you."

"You guys are the best. I appreciate this," Cass replied.

They talked about the logistics of getting the shuttle to where Cass was currently located and after a few more minutes, ended the comm.


	102. Chapter 102

"Jim, this is a bad idea," McCoy groused as the senior officers sat around the conference table, discussing the latest away mission assignment.

"And why is that?" Sabine asked, her eyes flashing.

"It's got nothing to do with your competence and everything to do with their society. You're a woman – they expect women to be hidden away in the home, raising children. For you to come down with me and work alongside me – it's not gonna go over well."

Sabine gave McCoy a long, dubious look.

"I don't make the rules," he continued, holding his hands up in protest. "It's an archaic and insulting view of females but we're supposed to respect their customs while we're there, right?" He looked to Jim for reinforcement.

"He has a point," the captain conceded.

"Mmm, perhaps. But is there someone else on this ship as well-versed in 21st century medicine as myself?" Sabine played her trump card.

The Enterprise had been called to the outer limits of the Alpha quadrant to assist the humanoid residents of the planet Vorkos. An unidentified virus had spread amongst them and because McCoy was the only doctor in the fleet to have interacted with Vorkosans (just briefly, during a residency in med school), he was the logical choice to go down and assist in finding a vaccine. But there was a catch. "Isn't there always a catch," Jim thought to himself as he read through the file. Vorkos was not a Federation planet yet. Though they had been in contact with Starfleet for several decades, the Vorkosans had been dubious about joining a group where women were treated as equals. Further, while contact had been established, there was still the issue of honoring the Prime Directive. Whoever went down to the planet had to commit to using the same technologies available to the Vorkosans to find a solution. That meant no fancy medical equipment, no communicators, no phasers – nothing that would alter natural Vorkosan advancement. As of now, the Vorkosans were at the same stage of development as 21st century Earth. Which was why it made sense to send Latour with McCoy. She, of all people, could navigate the limitations of 21st century medicine – she understood how to bridge the gaps between the medical expertise of her previous time and what could be done now. But Jim and Spock were the only two people in the room officially privy to exactly why she was such a good fit for the mission.

McCoy stared thoughtfully at Sabine before he replied. His scrutiny made her mildly uncomfortable but she kept her expression guarded.

"So you've read a lot about 21st century medicine. That doesn't mean we should risk an incident down there. I can read up on historical medicine before I go," McCoy replied to Sabine, watching for her reaction.

"I feel confident that the knowledge I have is better than anything you will find in a book," Sabine countered. "I do not have to interact with the Vorkosans. If it will make you feel more at ease, I will remain at the basecamp, out of sight."

He was determined to keep her from jeopardizing an already-delicate mission. McCoy wasn't keen on being the one responsible for her safety, especially given the success rate of something going wrong on away missions. The fact that Starfleet was allowing them to interact with the Vorkosans at all was somewhat miraculous but they'd been admonished to tread carefully. Letting a female doctor come down in the landing party was not treading lightly. Not with this civilization. All that said, there was another part of him intrigued by how confident she was regarding her knowledge of outdated medical equipment. In his mind, a running list of conspiracy theories regarding his fellow doctor percolated and she was checking more than one box on his current favorite theory. He held her gaze until she looked away with a slight flush.

Sabine was unnerved by how McCoy kept observing her. What was going on in that head of his? She knew it was more than just his dissatisfaction with having her accompany him to Vorkos.

"So, you think I need you down there to operate the equipment?" he asked her.

McCoy looked unconvinced and even Jim seemed hesitant.

"Not just that. Need I remind you of my other advantage for this mission?" Sabine asked.

"What's that?" McCoy replied dryly.

"Her superior skills as a telepath," Spock answered before Sabine could respond.

McCoy grumbled something unidentifiable in response and Spock raised an eyebrow at him, prompting him to cock his eyebrow back at the Vulcan. Sabine raised an eyebrow as well and suddenly, it was a race amongst the entire table to raise an eyebrow. Jim scowled because he couldn't raise just one brow. He hated losing this game. It had variants but the gist of it was: someone would do something they were known for – maybe McCoy would say "Dammit, Jim," Uhura would roll her eyes at something Jim was saying, or Spock would call something "Fascinating," and then the rest of the senior staff would imitate the phrase or gesture. The last one to do it owed everyone else drinks, dinner, or whatever was deemed worthy. It wasn't often that Sabine sat in on a senior officers' meeting but she had seen the game play out enough in the mess hall, officers' lounge, and rec room that she was ready to pounce when eyebrows went up.

"Fine," the captain grumbled. "I get the first round next time we're on shore leave."

In the corner, Sulu choked back a laugh, trying to make it sound like a cough and the patented McCoy glare turned to him before re-centering on Spock.

"Can we get back to business?" McCoy snipped. "Just because some of them exhibit mild signs of telepathy doesn't mean we need her to come down. Hell, Spock, you're a telepath. Why don't you come instead?"

"Because," Spock explained patiently, as though he were discussing the mission with a particularly slow five-year-old. "The Vorkosans are as suspicious of Vulcans as they are independent women, if not more so. They would be no more amenable to myself than they would Doctor Latour. As I lack her knowledge of historical medicine, Doctor Latour is a better fit."

McCoy scowled in response.

"Bones, if she stays on the base, will it be a problem?" Jim asked his CMO.

"I don't know," the doctor replied irritably. "It's been years since I was on Vorkos. I just know they're incredibly apprehensive of the Federation, and especially of foreign women."

He had already outlined to the officers at the table how every female medical resident had been pulled from the planet within days of arriving due to the hostilities between the Vorkosans and modern women.

"Let me go down. If there is any problem, beam me back aboard," Sabine offered.

"And how are we supposed to do that?" McCoy retorted. "No communicators – how are we supposed to quickly correspond with the ship if things get dicey?"

"If I stay on the base, we can communicate with the ship there," Sabine pointed out. It was true. There was an old-fashioned radio linkup on the base that allowed for communication with starships orbiting the planet.

She made her final plea. "The work will move more quickly with two of us there. You told us the Vorkosans will want you to attend a number of dinners and other diplomatic events and fulfilling those social obligations without someone else there to pick up the slack means that the mission will take that much longer."

She looked at Jim. He knew how much she wanted to get this mission concluded so they could help Cass. He nodded back to let her know he understood what she was saying. McCoy regarded her silently before offering his parting shot.

"I don't like it," McCoy stated emphatically. "But if you're all convinced Latour has to come down with me, so be it. I will most definitely say 'I told you so' when something goes horribly wrong." He folded his arms across his chest to emphasize his displeasure.

"That's the positive attitude we all admire in you," Jim said, rolling his eyes. "If anyone else has any objections, speak now…" The rest of the senior officers remained silent, as they had for most of the meeting.

"Uhura, can you program the local dialects into the UTs for McCoy and Latour?"

"Yes, Captain," the communications lieutenant replied.

From there, the meeting devolved into a series of conversations between Jim and each member of the senior team to make preparations for the mission. After the meeting was over, Spock stood and made his way to Jim. Sabine was across the table from the captain and first officer.

"Doctor Latour, Captain – may I have a word with you both?" Spock inquired.

"Sure thing, Spock," Jim answered, easy-going as always.

"Yes, Commander," Sabine responded more formally. Spock did rank her after all. The three waited for the room to clear out. Sabine noted that McCoy left in a semi-huff, still annoyed his viewpoints had been ignored. She would work on smoothing things out with him later. She refocused herself on the matter at hand.

"Doctor, I do not need to warn you about the dangers you are placing yourself in," Spock began, his eyebrow arched higher than usual.

"Which dangers are you referring to, Commander?" Indeed, Sabine wondered just where the Vulcan was going with this, given that there were several dangers she could see, not the least of which would be spending several days alone with McCoy.

"I refer to the fact that your physiology is closer to that of the Vorkosans than to modern humans. You are at greater risk of catching the virus than anyone else aboard this vessel." Spock spoke as though it should have been readily apparent to both Sabine and Jim which danger he meant.

"Yes, but if I remain at the base, my chances of catching the virus will be greatly reduced," Sabine replied.

"Reduced – but still a factor," Jim said thoughtfully.

"What would you recommend I do, Commander?" Sabine knew Spock would only bring this up if he had already determined options to resolving the issue. He studied her a moment before answering.

"Short of not joining the away team, I would suggest you pay a visit to Doctor M'Benga. Perhaps he can provide you with some needed preventative medications to bring with you, should your best efforts go amiss."

"It's not a bad idea, Latour," Jim mused.

"Of course. I will seek out Doctor M'Benga," Sabine replied. It was actually a very good idea and she was annoyed she hadn't thought of it first.

"While you are down on the planet, I would also advise you to keep conversations with Doctor McCoy regarding how you acquired your knowledge of 21st century medicine to a minimum," the Vulcan continued.

Now Sabine was finding it difficult to conceal her exasperation.

"Of course, Commander," she affirmed through nearly gritted teeth. "I am not looking to blow my cover with Doctor McCoy."

"I do not say this as a reprimand against you," Spock continued, perhaps aware of Sabine's pique. "It is rather Doctor McCoy's relentless search for answers to that which he does not understand which prompts my counsel to you."

"Noted, sir," Sabine replied, feeling more charitable.

"Yeah, good luck being by yourselves for several days," Jim smirked, waggling his eyebrows.

"If I did not know better, I would think you set this up on purpose," Sabine retorted, shooting Jim a dirty look.

"For once, this is not my doing," the captain replied with innocence. "But I can't lie – I'd pay good money to see the fireworks the two of you are gonna create, living without modern conveniences for a couple of weeks or however long it takes. Tell me, do they have multiple cots down on the base or is it just one large bed?"

"Gross," Sabine grumbled, now trying to get the image of Jim picturing her and McCoy in bed out of her head. "You already know the answer to that,  _sir_." Jim had seen the same schematics she had – there was one living area with two cots in it.

"Yeah, well, maybe you can push the cots together…you know, for warmth on those cold nights." Jim's playful teasing ignored the fact that the entire planet was subtropical.

"Jim –" Sabine attempted to interject, a warning note in her voice. It was rare she first-named him in front of other officers but he was certainly asking for it right now.

"No, no, don't worry, Latour. I have full faith you two crazy kids will find a way to enjoy yourselves while you're down there. The beaches look incredible. Pretty sure skinny dipping would do the trick." Jim's grin turned wicked.

"Captain, the penalty for female nudity in public places on Vorkos, such as the beach, is execution."

"Thank you, Commander Spock," Sabine looked at Spock gratefully and then shot Jim another withering stare. "Your confidence in us is touching,  _Captain_ ," Sabine commented sourly. "Gentlemen, if there is nothing else, may I be excused?" She looked at both men expectantly and they nodded their consent. With that, Sabine set off with two goals in mind; to make sure McCoy was okay and to discuss her medical options with M'Benga. Once she had exited the conference room, Spock turned to Jim.

"Captain, I find it highly unlikely Doctors McCoy and Latour will have the time or energy for any kind of romantic activity, if that is what you were trying to imply just now."

"Yeah, Spock – that was indeed what I was implying. We need to get you out more," Jim replied. Spock gave him a puzzled look. "See, this is where the human lack of logic comes in," Jim continued jovially. "Romance happens in the most unexpected of circumstances."

"Perhaps. But I do not believe either doctor is willing or ready for that step."

"Well, I'm betting good credits it'll happen, whether they're ready or not."

"That would be an unwise bet," Spock countered thoughtfully. Jim laughed and patted his first officer on the back as he moved past him to exit the room.

"We'll make a betting man out of you yet, Spock."

Spock kept his features still, as a lifetime of training and conditioning had taught him. But no matter how unresponsive he appeared, Spock could do nothing to quiet the internal riot that occurred whenever Jim would touch him. It didn't have to be skin-to-skin contact. Didn't need to be hand against hand. Just that pat on the back as Jim left was enough to light a fire in the Vulcan and he did not understand it.

Well, if he was being completely honest with himself, Spock had a pretty good idea what was happening. This had been the same phenomenon his father had discovered upon meeting Amanda Grayson all those years ago. Jim was somehow, for some unknown reason, someone that Spock could spend the rest of his life with. He was a potential t'hy'la. Spock didn't want to deal with that so he repressed his emotions, straightened his shirt, and followed the captain to the bridge.


	103. Chapter 103

Away missions being what they were on the Enterprise, Sabine and McCoy were immediately confronted with an obstacle upon beaming down to the planet. They had not anticipated the village elders meeting them right as they beamed into the research lab. In fact, McCoy was disconcerted to discover the elders had access to the Starfleet base at all – he had planned to meet them in the village later that day. So much for keeping Sabine hidden away. For her part, Sabine wanted to limit her contact with any Vorkosans who might be carrying the unknown virus. M'Benga had given her several hypos to bring along but until they knew exactly what they were dealing with, she couldn't be certain the hypos would be effective.

Sabine's appearance was not met with pleasure from the Vorkosan dignitaries. She could feel the hostility from their gazes. She had discussed with McCoy what they would do if she were to be seen by the Vorkosans and Sabine instantly reverted to her designated role. She avoided all eye contact with the men and stepped behind McCoy.

"Gentlemen," McCoy began, hoping his universal translator was at least doing its job. "Thank you for allowing me to come down and help you find a cure for the disease that's been ailing your population. To do my work more efficiently, I have brought my research assistant with me." He waved his hand behind him, where Sabine was hiding. To her credit, she was playing the role of shy and passive woman beautifully, however much it might vex her to do so.

"We were not aware you would be bringing a female with you," spoke the most ornately-dressed of the men. McCoy assumed he was their leader, based on what he'd witnessed from his previous trip to Vorkos.

"My apologies for not informing you before now. She will not be leaving the base," McCoy assured the men.

"Why is she here at all?" one elder asked bluntly.

"I brought her because she is my most skilled researcher," McCoy replied. "Surely you can understand how important it is to have the best assistance." He raised an eyebrow and smiled conspiratorially at the elders. "It helps that she is also an excellent cook and keeps my work area tidy, just as I like it."

McCoy knew a part of Sabine would be revolted by his words but he'd warned her already that if push came to shove, he'd treat her like a servant in order to keep peace with the Vorkosans. He couldn't look over his shoulder to monitor her reaction but he prayed she was playing along. The men facing him said nothing but slowly, smiles formed on their faces.

"Yes, it is important to have a good helpmeet if you are to be alone here," one of the Elders stated. "We were ready to offer one of our own but if you believe she will suffice…"

"I wouldn't dream of inconveniencing you," McCoy responded deferentially. "She will be able to provide for my needs while I am here."

"She is not ugly," one of the elders leered. "Perhaps she provides for ALL of your needs?" The elders chuckled amongst themselves and McCoy didn't need to turn around to know Sabine's cheeks were flaming.

"I would like to take some time to examine the base and determine what needs I may have. Would you permit me a few hours to set up before I meet you in the village as planned?" McCoy hoped they would pick up on his underlying message and leave before they said something guaranteed to provoke a reaction from his travel companion.

"Of course," the leader of the Elders responded cordially. "Forgive us for overstepping our bounds. In our enthusiasm to welcome you, we overlooked the work you will need to do in order to find a cure. We will leave you be. Please contact us should you need anything not already present."

The man held out something akin to a communicator in his hand and gestured to McCoy to take it. The device was larger and heavier than a communicator and the Elder quickly explained how it functioned. It had been preset to contact the village leaders. McCoy thanked him for his generosity and one by one, each man bid him farewell. They ignored Sabine except to gaze at her like she was a piece of meat or an exotic bird. McCoy sighed internally. He'd known this was going to be a challenge. This was why some people (Jim) should listen to him more often. But finally the elders were gone and he turned to Sabine. She met his eyes with an unreadable expression.

He turned off his translator and came closer to her so they would not be overheard or understood by any straggling elders. "I'm sorry," he muttered. She turned her translator off as well. He then grabbed one of the bins they had beamed down with them.

"It is fine," she murmured, keeping her voice equally low. "You did warn me…"

"Yeah, but I didn't think we'd have to deal with it immediately upon arriving, and I certainly didn't expect you to get ogled."

She gave him her twisted smile.

"Stop worrying. I have dealt with far worse," she replied as she grabbed a bin and moved to the next room with him. "There are assholes all over this galaxy. Vorkos does not have a monopoly."

They shared a wry chuckle and he set his bin down then took hers and set it down as well. She moved to return to the next room and get another bin but McCoy reached out and stopped her by grabbing her arm. She turned and looked at him in surprise.

"I won't let anything happen to you," he said quietly. The looks several of the elders had given her bothered him deeply.

"I know," she replied, moving back to face him. "And I will not let anything happen to you either. Do and say what you need to. I will do whatever is best to keep out of trouble as well. If worst comes to worst, we send me back."

They stared silently at one another for a moment. He was so close to brushing an errant curl away from her face – he had to fight every urge in him to keep his hand away from that runaway curl. He let go of her arm, aware that he'd been holding onto it for too long now that she was in front of him.

"And, of course, if things do go badly, think how much you will enjoy telling everyone you were right," she said with another twist of her mouth. Her gentle teasing broke the tension in the room and he smiled back at her even as he felt great unease at contemplating what it would mean if the mission went south and he was proven correct.

His reluctance in having Sabine accompany him to Vorkos aside, McCoy found there were several advantages to her presence. For one, she really did know her way around the equipment in the lab – and not just the medical items. As they opened windows and removed tarps from various tables and pieces of furniture, she would show him how to use the radio, or the cooktop in the kitchen. She said it was a gas top and knew exactly how to turn it on. She was more comfortable in the kitchen of the base than he'd ever seen her in a modern kitchen. McCoy observed all of this with a watchful eye, not just because it was useful information for the foreseeable future but because the wheels were still turning in his head.

To facilitate Sabine's productivity, Scotty had modified an old iPhone she had collected from an antique shop in Nara II. He'd filled it with her music collection and she'd found headphones to go with it. She could listen without disturbing McCoy as they worked to set up the lab. Of course, given her tendency to start dancing when she was wrapped up in her work, McCoy was still distracted by her. But he had come to enjoy her twirls and spins as she would occasionally join in with the chorus of a song, singing in a pretty, if off-key, voice. McCoy expected her dancing and sing-alongs as a part of the research process and quickly told her to just connect the iPhone to the radio/stereo so they could both listen to the music. He noted that while it was a mix of current songs from all over the galaxy, there were also quite a few classic Earth hits, of the kind Jim was so fond of. In all, her knowledge of their ancient living quarters on the base and her cheerfulness as she danced around the lab setting things up were both positives on his running list of pros and cons to having her there with him.

Another item in the positive column was her encyclopedic knowledge of ancient medical practices. She was proving invaluable to the lab set-up. Further, she truly understood the equipment in a way no book would have provided. He asked how she had gained such a comprehensive understanding of ancient medical technology but she deflected his questions, telling him she was fond of antiques. Well, so were his parents but that didn't mean they would have known what to do with a microscope like the ones they would be using in the Vokorsan lab. Thinking about his dad, who had taught him so much about medicine, gave McCoy a pang of sadness in his gut and he stopped questioning Sabine about her expertise with old equipment. But he didn't stop thinking about his theories. He was going to get to the bottom of the mysteries surrounding Sabine and being alone with her on Vorkos might just be exactly what he needed to finally get the truth from her.

* * *

Sabine was trying to remember the phrase in Standard for what she wanted to say to McCoy.

"Mmm, please come here," she began, stalling as she tried to make a literal translation of the sentence from French. After all these years of speaking predominantly in Standard, she still felt her mind lapse from time to time. "I am going to learn you some things about this instrument," she called out to McCoy, gesturing to the centrifuge in front of her.

He looked up sharply at her words.

"Are you making fun of me?" he asked her, an edge to his words.

She blinked at him in surprise and her cheeks began to pinken.

"No! Why?"

He interpreted her blush as confirmation that she WAS, in fact, teasing him, her answer to the contrary notwithstanding.

"Look, just because I'm from the South doesn't mean I don't know proper grammar. Atlanta's not some backwoods –"

"I promise you, I was not joking at your expense. I said something wrong – what was it?"

Something in her eyes gave him pause.

"You said, 'I'm gonna learn you something,'" he explained. "The only people who say that are people living in the dirty South. People Jim likes to assume represent my entire region."

Sabine's blush deepened. "I am sorry. That is how we say it in my language. How is it properly said in Standard?"

"You'd probably say, 'I'm gonna teach ya something,' or 'I'm gonna show you something,'" McCoy replied.

"Je vais t'enseigner," she murmured. "Okay, I see now." She looked up at him with imploring eyes. "I swear, I did not mean to insult you," she added, worried that she would send him into a funk and start the mission on the wrong foot.

He gave her a half-grin. "It's okay. Tell me more about your language. You know, way back when, Uhura told me French was a dead language."

Sabine knew they'd had this conversation before. McCoy didn't. His questions about her life were constant, though she'd noticed a shift in the last two months. He asked her about details more and more, making it easier for her to give him an answer. He seemed particularly interested in the fact that she spoke French. He had asked her to tell him what certain phrases translated to and even though his interest seemed to focus more on learning the curse words, she welcomed it. As for what Uhura had told him back at the Academy, she didn't have much choice for how to answer.

"Where I am from, it is not a dead language," she said simply. She saw him wince. Another headache. She walked over to him and placed her hand over his, taking the pain away. This was a particularly strong headache and she had to fight not to show the pain on her features. After a moment, she adjusted to the pain and found him looking down at her.

"Where you're from?" he asked with a mischievous smirk. "Or when?"

Sabine stared at him, her mouth hanging open in shock. He chuckled and, with two fingers under her chin, softly pushed her jaw up to close her mouth.

"I…,"

"How…,"

"You…,"

She couldn't think of a proper response. She couldn't think of anything.

"Come on, sweetheart. We've met enough time travelers out here in space that one more isn't such a big deal. Besides, we were bound to meet one who wasn't trying to kill us at some point." He was treating the whole thing like it didn't matter. Sabine looked at McCoy in confusion. Did he remember?

"How…how long have you known?" she finally stammered.

"I've suspected for a while. I've only known for a few seconds. Shoulda asked you a long time ago – it's worth it to see you so flustered. Is that why you're always so cagey about your past?" McCoy hadn't realized he'd enjoy watching the normally calm and collected woman in front of him sputter so much.

Sabine attempted to regain her composure as it dawned on her that he didn't remember everything. Was this possible? Would she end up being able to tell him the truth about her past without him remembering what had happened at the Academy? Was he really never going to regain his memories? She realized he was waiting for a response to his question.

"Given the experiences the Enterprise has undergone, it seemed wise to avoid sharing too much about myself," she finally answered.

"But what about back at the Academy? You were always so reluctant to tell me about yourself."

Sabine thought fast. He knew, from the Khan incident, about Section 31. She might as well see how honest she could be.

"I did not say much back then because Section 31 was monitoring me," she replied. He looked at her closely.

"Hmm, I guess they would've," he said simply. "So, is it just you? Or are there others?"

"Everyone I hung out with back at the Academy," Sabine replied. "They all came with me."

He nodded. "Thought so." He paused before asking his next questions. "When in the past are you from? Are all of you telepaths?"

What a strange discussion. And how weird to think he wasn't at all surprised or distressed to find out she was from the past.

"I am the only telepath. We came from about 230 years ago, give or take," she replied, still wary and waiting for the conversation to take a turn.

He sized her up. "So you've seen some shit," was all he said.

"I suppose so," she replied, thinking that nothing she'd seen had prepared her for this. She'd assumed that when McCoy remembered her past, it would be a huge event. Not a casual conversation as they unpacked boxes and set up a lab on a planet she'd never been to before. But then, he wasn't really remembering, was he?

"What?" he asked as she stared at him. "You're looking at me like I'm the time traveler."

"Sorry," she replied. "I just expected that if we ever talked about this, it would be much different."

"Maybe that's your problem," he said to her gently. "Maybe you expect the worst when it turns out, every now and then, you get pleasantly surprised."

"You are the last person I expected to hear optimism from," she teased but she saw the crease in his forehead and reached out to touch his hand again.

"This conversation is giving you headaches," she murmured as she took on another strong one from him.

"Yeah, well, we're surrounded by a group of people who already don't like women and now, on top of being a woman, I get confirmation you're a time traveler. You can see why that's a little stressful, right?"

Sabine smiled wistfully in response. He really was never going to put it all together, was he? She wondered if she should ask him about the ring when they got back to the ship after this mission. She'd internally debated bringing it up several times over the last few weeks. Maybe he would be more receptive this time. She had to hope he was because otherwise, she could not think of another way to repair his memories without his consent.

"So, what happened exactly? You guys get stuck here?" McCoy looked at her inquisitively.

"I guess you could say that. We used a fairly primitive form of time travel to get here. Once we arrived, we believed we were here to stay," Sabine replied. "By the time we realized there were alternative methods available to us, no one wanted to leave."

"Even with Section 31 on you?"

"Yes, even then," she replied.

"Is the Section the reason you assumed fake identities after the Academy?" McCoy asked her.

"Yes," she replied. God, it felt good to be honest. But then she looked over at him and saw the conflicting emotions in his eyes. His gaze met hers.

"Look, I'm glad you're finally telling me the truth. And it explains a lot of stuff," he started. "But it still doesn't help me understand…" He trailed off and she knew. She knew without a shadow of a doubt what he was thinking. None of this explained why he remembered walking in on her in bed with another man. They were so close and yet so far. She looked down, her face flushed.

"Sometimes, people make horrible mistakes," she said quietly, internally so resentful that, despite everything they'd just discussed, she still had to maintain the façade of having cheated on him once. It was so contrary to everything she felt for him.

"So that's what it was? A mistake?" he asked and she could feel how loaded the question was. He wasn't just asking her if she slept with someone else on a now-regretted whim. He wanted to know if she was sticking to the story. But what choice did she have? She wasn't going to do this now, in the midst of a mission. She wasn't even sure she could do this. What if he didn't respond to the trigger? So she looked away and heard his sharp exhale.

He finally spoke again. "You were gonna show me how this thing works?" he asked, gesturing to the forgotten centrifuge.

"Yes," she replied, coming over to stand next to the device.

They continued to set up the lab and go over equipment for the rest of the day. While McCoy was glad to have solved a major riddle regarding his ex, he couldn't help but think there was still something missing.

* * *

"One thing we need to do is set up these traps in the woods around the base," Sabine said, standing on a bin to reach a shelf filled with the primitive-looking no-kill traps she was referring to.

They were two days into their stay on Vorkos. Yesterday's conversation about her past still dominated Sabine's thoughts but she was trying to push it aside so they could accomplish what they needed to and get back to the ship. Cass needed their help and she wasn't going to take any chances with McCoy's memories till she had taken enough to time to think about the options available to her. Talking to Cass would go a long way towards quieting her unease. All the more incentive to get this mission done.

"Here, let me," McCoy replied, putting his hand on her back as she stepped down to get out of his way.

"You realize we've got plenty of food, right?" he asked, handing her a trap before turning to grab another. She gave him a confused look and he handed her another trap.

"We don't need to use these," he explained, gesturing to the third trap as he handed it to her.

"Oh, these are not for food-gathering purposes," Sabine replied.

"Then what are they for?" he asked.

"We need to determine which animals may also be susceptible to the virus," she said simply. He stopped and turned to her.

"What?" Her words weren't making sense.

"I suspect that, much like the viruses of my time – Ebola or AIDS for example – this virus originated in one of the wild animals within the forests and was passed to the Vorkosans through either their diet or some other contact."

McCoy looked at Sabine for a moment before giving her a slight grin. "Not a bad theory, Latour."

"Mmm, thanks. It is almost like I am a doctor or something," she replied.

"Not sure I'd call what you did back in your time being a doctor," he grumbled. "Medicine back then was almost butchery."

"Clearly, I have adapted to modern medicine," she said, irritation in her tone. "You are not going to start discounting my capabilities now that you know my past, are you?" She looked at him square in the eye and McCoy was, not for the first time, reminded of how intimidating she could be when she wanted.

"I'm not doubting your skills," he replied. "Last thing I'd do is question your competence."

"Good," she responded before moving to her next thought. "It would be helpful if, at the next function you attend in the village, you could find out which animals they hunt," she added as he returned to pulling traps down from the shelf.

When enough cages had been brought out of storage, McCoy set about planting them in the area around the base while Sabine continued to run tests on the blood samples they had received from infected Vorkosans. She took extreme caution to prevent the samples from infecting her. Throughout the day, McCoy would come back after taking three or four traps out with him. As he set them farther away from the base, his trips began to take longer. But Sabine was not prepared for the ruckus she heard almost two hours after he had last been by to gather traps. She listened for a moment before leaving the lab and making her way to the outside of the base.

There, she was greeted by two Vorkosans carrying a wounded McCoy shouting a string of curses on a makeshift stretcher between them.

"Qu'est-ce que c'est que ça?" she asked in exasperation, coming up to inspect the damage. She flipped her universal communicator on.

"None of your nonsense babbling right now," McCoy griped at her. "These boneheads shot me."

And sure enough, there was a bullet-hole sized wound at his left shoulder. Sabine groaned. They were going to have to use primitive medical tools from the base to heal him and he was clearly in a bad mood, as he always was when he had to be the patient.

"What happened?" she asked the Vorkosans. One of them looked at her defiantly, remaining silent. The other looked at his friend and back to her several times before answering.

"It was an accident," he replied. "We saw a rustling in the bushes and thought it was an animal. We didn't know it was one of you!" He knew he shouldn't be giving such deference to a female, and a foreign one at that, but they'd spent the entire trip to the base being berated by the male doctor and the female didn't look like someone they wanted to anger either.

"Follow me," Sabine told the Vorkosans. She led them to the base's lone biobed and they set McCoy down on it, flinching as he cursed at them when the movement hurt his wound.

"You may leave," Sabine said once they had moved him. The silent Vorkosan glared at her.

"We do not take orders from a woman," he snarled. She liked him better when he didn't say anything.

"Then stay," Sabine replied. "But do not get in my way."

"Less small talk and more fixing my arm," McCoy said testily from his biobed. Sabine shot him a look before fixing her gaze back on the Vorkosans. They slowly backed out of the room and left the base. The more helpful Vorkosan turned back to her.

"Our leader will send guards up here later," he told her, with an almost-apologetic air.

"Whatever for?" she snapped, ready to devote her attentions to the bullet in McCoy's shoulder.

"Your safety, of course," the other sneered. She turned away from them both and shut the doors to the base.

* * *

"This will hurt," she said softly, staring into the wound as best she could, having found a spotlight and rigging it directly above McCoy.

"You think it doesn't hurt right now?" he retorted.

"Yes, I am sure it does. But removing the bullet will hurt more," she explained. When they had been told the planet was functioning at the same level of technological innovation as Earth in the 21st century, they had been misled. While that was certainly true in some aspects, the only surgical tools Sabine had found were older in nature – more aligned with tools used in the 19th century. And that wasn't ideal. The sole good news she had was the vial of morphine she'd found in the medicine cabinet and she couldn't give him any till after she'd removed the ball.

"Well, get on with it," he growled, trying to act tough. His shaking hand on her arm belied his true disposition.

"Here," she said, grabbing his hand from her arm and handing him a strap of leather.

"What the hell is this for?"

"You bite on it instead of screaming," she replied.

But that hadn't been sufficient. Every time she tried to use the forceps to extract the bullet, he jerked away, the pain too much to handle. Sabine sighed.

"We need to try something else," she told him, knowing if she didn't get the bullet out soon, infection would set in.

"Christ, Latour, just take your chances and knock me out now," he gasped, the pain tearing through the whole right side of his body.

"No, I will not do that. But I can do this," she replied, placing her hand against his bare arm.

"What're you doing?" he asked in confusion, but as he felt the pain leave him, he understood. "You can't do this," he told her. "You'll never be able to complete the surgery in that much pain."

"Shush," she admonished him. "Just be quiet while I work," she gasped, steadying the forceps in her left hand while she continued to absorb his pain with her right. With him no longer making noises and pitching around, Sabine was able to get the forceps in. The pain was agonizing but she fought through it. When it became too much, and her hands were shaking from an inability to hold an instrument and cope with the fiery throbbing and hurt, she switched to using telekinesis with the forceps. All she needed to do was keep her eyes on the wound and she could direct the tools to do what they needed. But the tears were starting to obstruct her vision.

"Good God, Latour," McCoy grunted. "Don't take all of it on. Give some pain back to me."

She did as he directed. It worked well enough that she could extract the bullet. They both sighed in relief and she sat back in a chair next to his biobed, giving herself a moment to recover.

"I'm never gonna stop being surprised by the ways you can use your mental abilities," he murmured.

"You and me both," she said softly.

She stood up over him once more. "I have to sew this up," she said, gesturing to the injury. "Perhaps it is time for some morphine?"

"Hell yes," he agreed.

The rest of the surgery passed with no incident. After, as he enjoyed his drug-induced sleep, Sabine stroked McCoy's face, then ran her fingers through his hair.

"You cranky bastard," she said affectionately. "Do not scare me like that again."

* * *

McCoy's biobed was in a room adjacent to the base's lab so Sabine kept the door between the two rooms open and moved her work to the table closest to the recovery room. She anticipated he would be in a real mood upon awakening and she wanted to be as close as possible, ready to handle his querulous demands.

But morphine seemed to do wonders for McCoy's personality because he awoke in an altogether unexpected mood.

"Latour," he called out and she dropped what she was doing to come to his side.

"How do you feel?" she asked him, searching his face for any signs of discomfort. The last thing she'd anticipated seeing was the smile he greeted her with.

"Good," he answered. "Did you miss me?"

"Terribly. There has been no one to argue with for almost a day now," she replied with a twisted turn of her lips.

"We can't have that," he countered pleasantly.

She realized the morphine must not have worn off. There was no way McCoy would be this docile otherwise.

"I need to change your dressings," she warned him as she sat down beside him. "It might sting a bit." He'd slept through one change already.

"It's okay," he reassured her. "I can take it."

"Keep this up and I will be slipping morphine into your food for the foreseeable future," she murmured, giving him a sly look as she started to remove the gauze covering his wound.

He flinched a couple of times as she worked but remained otherwise happy, confirming to her the morphine's prolonged effect on him.

"Were you worried for me?" he asked her as she cleaned the injury. "Did you think I was going to die?"

"I heard you yelling before I even saw what had happened," she replied wryly, her eyes focused on her work. "You never gave me a chance to be scared for you."

"But you would worry about me, right? You'd be upset if I got mortally wounded, wouldn't you?"

She looked up to see him staring at her intently, the same drugged-up smile on his face.

"Of course," she said. "I am a doctor. I worry when people get shot, whether it is fatal or not."

"But me, specifically," he urged. "You worry about me, right?" With his good hand, he reached over and grabbed her arm. "I worry about you all the time."

"McCoy," she chided, an edge of annoyance to her voice.

"Come on," he argued. "You mean to tell me you don't spend time thinking of me?"

She stopped what she was doing to give him her full attention. "Yes," she sighed. "I think about you too. Now let me finish what I am doing or I will have more to worry about."

He released her arm and relaxed in his biobed, clearly pleased with her answer.

"I like you, Latour," he said amiably. "I think we make a good pair."

She rolled her eyes. "I hope you do not remember this when you come to your senses," she replied, finishing up his bandages.

"I'm serious!" he insisted. "We could open a practice together, you know. When the ship's mission is over? You could come back with me to Georgia."

He looked at her skeptical expression and continued.

"Look, I know it isn't as exciting as space, but Atlanta's a nice place. Jo and I could teach you to ride horses. There are a couple of ballrooms in the house that never get used – we could turn one into a dance studio – prettiest studio you'll ever see – and the other into a dojo, so you can keep beating me up."

The look on his face as he talked was doing things to Sabine's insides.

"You have it all planned out," she said with a touch of wonder.

"Course I do! I told you, I think about you all the time. Come with me. Doesn't it sound nice?" He looked at her expectantly and Sabine let a bit of her resolve crumble.

"It sounds lovely," she admitted, trying to keep the smile off her face.

"You'll love it. We don't have to get married if you don't want. I've already done the marriage thing once…"

Now she was reeling. "McCoy!" she gasped, more in shock than reproach. "You are talking about marrying me? I think I gave you too much morphine." She left his bedside to check the vial. It had been a while since she'd used morphine on a patient – they didn't use it anymore in the 2200s. But the dosage had been correct. Maybe he was especially sensitive to it.

"You didn't give me enough," he called after her with a loopy grin. "Look, all I'm asking you is to consider staying with me for as long as you'll have me. I don't care if marriage is involved or not," he said to her as she came back towards him. He still wore that same goofy grin.

"I thought you wanted me to take over as CMO on the Enterprise," she remarked.

"If that's what you want, do it. I want you to be happy. Just figured maybe bein' with me might make you happier," he replied, reaching out to touch her arm.

"You should stop," she told him. "You do not know what you are saying." She moved away so he couldn't touch her anymore. She was not going to let his drugged-up delusions trick her into confessing something she might later regret.

He smiled at her. "I do too. Just think about it, okay? I'd do my best to make you happy. I know you like exploring. But I think you could learn to like staying in one place too." He yawned.

"Before you sleep again, drink some water," she ordered as she handed him a cup, doing her best to keep her hand from shaking.

"Yes, darlin'," he replied sleepily. Though she kept a straight face, Sabine felt a familiar warmth in her stomach to hear him use his pet name for her. It had been so long. She tempered her excitement over the conversation by remembering he was drugged.

"You are a mess," she said softly as she left the room. She wasn't sure whether she was referring to him or herself – maybe both. She continued to check in on him as he slept for the next several hours. When he awoke again, he had returned to his normal self, which was a relief to her. Sabine wasn't sure she could handle more affectionate, earnest McCoy. He didn't apologize for his goofy behavior from earlier and she wasn't going to bring it up so she was left to wonder if he remembered it.

Within a couple of days, he insisted on being released from bed to join her in the lab and it wasn't worth the argument or effort to try containing him so she welcomed him back to assisting with research.

"When'd they show up?" he asked her grumpily, nodding his head towards the door of the base, where two Vorkosans stood at attention.

"The day you got hurt. They arrived after you passed out and have not left since," Sabine replied with a grimace. The guards changed shifts but there was someone out there at all times.

"Why?" he muttered.

"They claim to be here for our protection," Sabine said with a roll of her eyes to show just how she felt about the whole situation.

"They didn't touch you, did they?" he practically growled and she knew he was thinking about the lewd looks she'd received from the receiving party.

"No," she assured him. "They ignore me. Most of them, out of a sense of superiority. With a couple of them, I get the feeling they are scared of me."

"Is it always two of them?" he inquired, eyeing the guards with suspicion and hostility.

"Most of the time," she replied and he looked at her inquisitively so she continued. "Sometimes, there is only one. In fact, I had a rather nice conversation with the lone guard yesterday."

It was true. The weather had been especially warm and she'd noticed the younger guard sweating so she'd offered him a glass of water. He'd accepted gratefully and they'd talked for a few minutes before she stepped back inside to work. Later in the day, he'd come to the open window of the lab and chatted with Sabine for another hour while she worked. Sabine had enjoyed the conversation and she realized, from his multiple questions, that the young Vorkosan was not horrified or offended by her, but fascinated. He had an older sister he adored so hating women was not something that EVERY Vorkosan male indulged in, much to her great relief.

"Just be careful," McCoy cautioned her, wariness radiating from him.

"Is there ever a time I am not?" she retorted.

He didn't reply, instead sighing heavily. Now, in addition to catching up on research, he was gonna have to keep an eye on Latour and the guards.

* * *

"Now that your master is recovered, we no longer need to be here," the guard sniffed snidely.

Sabine didn't reply. She wouldn't stoop to his level.

"Now wait a damn second," McCoy bellowed from behind her. "You leavin' is all well and good, but who's gonna help me check the traps?"

While it was true that McCoy was able to move around the lab with relative ease, and he had resumed a normal work schedule, the fact remained that the daily trap check required more agility than he could give on his own, with only one functioning arm. Guards had been assisting him on his daily trips to gather whatever animals had been caught. He couldn't imagine doing it on his own and Sabine shouldn't leave the lab. With a Vorkosan at his side, McCoy felt safe wandering from trap to trap.

"I could help," the young guard that Sabine was so fond of replied hesitantly. The other guard shot him a dirty look while McCoy thought it over.

"You'd have to come with me every morning," he said to the younger Vorkosan.

"Yes sir," the guard replied.

"And if he does that," McCoy said to the other guard," then I'm fine with y'all takin' a long walk off a short pier."

The guards looked at him in confusion and Sabine stifled a laugh. The universal translators could only do so much.

"What the doctor means is, so long as Ch'lousa agrees to help him on his daily trap check, we agree to ending the guard watch."

Ch'lousa. Of course she knew the young Vorkosan's name. McCoy struggled to keep from rolling his eyes. She probably knew the damn kid's life story.

* * *

"This will help your friend," Ch'lousa said, extending his hand, in which he held a bag that contained a powder. Sabine took the bag from him and sniffed the powder. Smelled like dried and crushed plants.

"What is it?" she asked with some reservation.

"It's a mixture my sister makes to help with healing. It really works," he replied with eager, bright eyes.

Sabine smiled at him. "Thank you," she said. "How do I administer it?"

"Mix it with a liquid – any liquid. It's best taken twice a day – morning and evening."

Sabine showed the bag to McCoy later that evening. His recovery had been slow, as would be expected, given the lack of modern technology on the base. While he and Ch'lousa had been gathering animals from the traps, she had run some tests on the mixture and determined it was just as the young Vorkosan had assured her – dried plants from the planet.

"It is, perhaps, worth a try," she said to McCoy after she explained where she had gotten it as well as the tests she had run. He still eyed the bag warily but finally shrugged his good shoulder.

"Hell, I'll try anything at this point," he muttered.

Within days, his wound had healed to almost nothing and his strength had returned.

"I don't know what's in that powder, but I'll take more witch's brews like that," he told Sabine as he drank his morning coffee. She raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a twisted grin.

"Finally, some voodoo you appreciate," she murmured.

"Oh, I like yours just fine too," was his rejoinder.

* * *

"I've got a problem," McCoy grumbled to Sabine, gesturing to his face. It was two weeks and a day since they had arrived on Vorkos. McCoy's wound had healed but during his recovery, he hadn't bothered shaving. Frankly, Sabine loved the stubble he was sporting. She'd had numerous fantasies about what that facial hair would feel like against her skin but every time her mind ventured down that path, she chided herself.

"What?" she asked. "You do not like the beard?"

"I like it just fine. If left to myself, I'd keep it. But I can't go down to the village in my uniform with it. It's not regulation," he groused, rubbing his now-furry chin. Sabine was discovering there were all sorts of things she could envy. Right now, she envied his fingers. She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Who cares?" she scoffed. "The Vorkosans do not strike me as the kind of beings who will shun you for looking extra masculine. Hell, it may help us."

"You think I look extra masculine with facial hair, huh?"

"That is not the point," she retorted, turning away from him to hide the flames dancing across her cheeks.

"You're right. The point is, I need to be compliant. If this mission goes sideways, I don't want anyone to point fingers at either of us."

"Mmm… I would laugh at any mission report that blamed our possible failure on your stubble." Sabine shot McCoy an insouciant look but he did not return it. Instead, he scowled.

"Then shave already," Sabine said impatiently.

"That's the problem," McCoy complained. "I didn't bring my own shaver because 'technology.'"

"Yes? And? Use the straight razor in the bathroom – just sterilize it beforehand. Who knows who the last person to use it may have been."

McCoy gave her another annoyed look.

"What? Why are you being such a baby? You have used a straight razor before, yes?" But as he stared at her with annoyance, another emotion crept into those hazel eyes.

"You have never used a straight razor?"

"Just when would I have needed to use an antique like that?" he demanded defensively. "Why use that when I could use the sonic shaver and be guaranteed not to kill myself?"

Sabine sighed. Of course. Straight razors had been outdated in her own time, save for the occasional hipster who insisted the shave was better with one. Some two hundred plus years later, why would a man need to use one?

"You are a surgeon," she finally responded. "Surely, you can figure out how to handle a razor."

But the look he gave her made it clear that he did not share her confidence in his ability to use what he deemed to be a primitive and brutal tool without causing himself serious damage. Sabine thought back to the only time she had used a straight razor – it had been with Dinesh. She'd given him a shave as a prelude to….well, that certainly wasn't happening this time around.

"Tu me casses les couilles!" she muttered, heading to the bathroom to grab what she needed.

"You know I don't understand you when you start babbling like that," McCoy whined, following her.

"I am not babbling!" she snapped back at him. "I am speaking in my language. Just because it is not yours does not make it any less. Stop making fun of it or, so help me, I will nick your carotid artery."

That seemed to shut him up, at least temporarily.

"What the hell is that?" McCoy asked a few minutes as she carted out supplies from the bathroom and set the cart next to a chair where the light was bright. He stared at the shaving cream she'd emptied from a can in the washroom.

"It is shaving cream. This is not like a sonic shaver – I must lather your face up if you want to survive unscathed," Sabine replied with her twisted grin.

McCoy looked like he might bolt but she hoped he wouldn't. Now that touching him was a real possibility, she'd hate to come this close and have him change his mind. But he took a deep breath and sat down in the chair.

Moments later, Sabine no longer had to envy McCoy's fingers as her own had now touched every part of his beard while she covered the lower half of his face with shaving cream. She told herself she was just being thorough but she knew the truth – she had relished every bit of contact. And his facial hair was as luscious as she'd hoped. She inhaled deeply, enjoying the scents of him, of the shaving cream, of the floral breeze floating through the room. But she schooled her features to hide any sign of enjoyment. For his part, McCoy had relaxed as she'd prepared him for the shave but now that she had the razor in her hand, his shoulders had begun to hunch up and his eyes hadn't left the device since she'd picked it up.

"I am not going to hurt you," she said softly. "But it would help me if you would not tense up so much. I am less likely to accidentally cut you if you keep yourself loose."

"Sorry," he mumbled, trying not to ingest the white goop she had generously heaped on his face. "Blades make me nervous."

"You are a doctor," she chided him. "How can blades make you nervous?"

"If they're in my hands, that's a different story."

She gave him a sharp look then attempted to hand the razor over to him.

"No, no," he mumbled. "I trust you. You've done this before, right?"

"Only once," she admitted and his shoulders bunched up again.

"I thought this was something you used in your time?" he asked her, almost indignantly.

"No, even in my time we had things like electric razors," she replied.

"Electronics? How many people died electrocuting themselves when shaving?"

"None that I know of," she replied impatiently. "We were not so different from you, you know. Stop acting like I came from the era of horses and buggies."

"Came from the damn dark ages," he mumbled and though she was sorely tempted to throw the straight razor at him in exasperation, she took a deep breath instead.

"Relax," she insisted and his shoulders sank back down as she rubbed each one. She enjoyed the feel of his muscles beneath her hand, even if they were tensed up. "Close your eyes and think of Georgia peaches." He gave her a glare but when she touched his forehead to push it back, he closed his eyes just as she'd recommended.

She took a hard look, trying to determine where best to start. Without his worried gaze, she could be hesitant about her choices. Finally, she started on the right side of his face, close to his ear. She'd work from the outside in. The first swipe was tentative but once she saw that she could run the razor over his face without hurting him, she became more confident. With each pass, her swipes got better till she was able to do it flawlessly, cleaning the blade in a bowl of warm water and wiping his face with a warm washcloth after each stroke. There was something very satisfying about removing his facial hair strip by strip. It was methodical, patterned work and it allowed her to get as close as she wanted to him without having to justify the why. Though she was sad to see the growth go because it was clear that if he kept growing it out, he'd have quite a thick beard, she was enjoying the process of shaving him. Her mind began to wander as she worked, thinking how good it would've felt to have his stubble buried in the valley between her breasts or even lower, in the soft apex of her thighs. She shook her head to rid it of such thoughts. Without realizing it, she touched his face several times, ensuring the shave had been close enough or that she hadn't cut him. Once she became aware of the contact, the touches sent sparks traveling up her arm. Though she enjoyed the feel of his smooth skin beneath the pads of her fingers, she tried to keep any indication of the pleasure off her face, even if she did perhaps touch him more than was necessary. He didn't seem to mind though. At one point he made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a moan.

"Are you okay?" she asked with genuine concern, searching his half-shaven face for blood from an unseen cut.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he grumbled. "Keep goin'."

"You are not uncomfortable?" she asked, still concerned by the grimace of discomfort on his face.

"I'm fine! Hurry up already."

It was beyond comfortable – it was downright erotic and where before he had been reluctant to let her near him with that deathstick, now he was lamenting the whole thing because all he could think about was how much he wanted her right then and there. Her smell as she would bend her face to his, studying her work intently, drove him insane with lust. The brushes of her fingers against his newly shaved skin were heavenly. He wanted to take those fingers to his lips, kiss each one, maybe suck on a couple of them. She was so focused on shaving him and all he wanted was to pull her onto his lap and show her what she was doing to his lower region. In fantasizing about her riding him in the chair, a moan had escaped his lips and her first reaction had been worry over whether she'd nicked him when all he'd wanted was to lick that lower lip of hers, the one that stuck out when she was thinking hard. When she really concentrated, a tip of her tongue would appear for a moment as she pondered her next move. By God, he'd never wanted to lick and suck something as much as he wanted her mouth. But he tried to remember the fact that she held a tiny weapon in her hand, gliding it along meticulously. With every pass, he could feel more of the tropical wind against his bare face.

For the next several minutes, she skimmed the blade along his cheeks and neck without any commentary besides telling him to tilt one way or the other, or look down. She remembered why this had worked so well as foreplay with Dinesh. It was one of the most intimate things she and McCoy had shared since she'd come aboard the Enterprise. Her eyes were glued to his face, tracking her progress. His eyes were either closed or stuck on her. He could see the competence in her gaze, as she scrutinized her strokes, looking for any patch she missed. As much as she tried to hide her emotions, she knew her cheeks were blazing as she stood over him and helped remove the beard he'd grown during his recuperation. She hoped he didn't notice the pink blush. All he could think about was how beautiful she looked when she was flushed and concentrating, her eyes a bright green and her cheeks warm. He wanted to skim his lips across those cheeks.

Far too soon, she was done. There was no trace of shaving cream or facial hair to be found on McCoy. After wiping it down with warm water on a washcloth one last time, she searched his face for any sign of cuts. There were none. She'd done a good job. Her eyes met his at the end of her inspection.

"You lived," she said simply.

"That wasn't the worst thing that's happened to me…not by far," he said softly, his eyes still on hers. "I could get used to it."

She snorted quietly. "I am sure somewhere, someone is paying good credits for a shave like that."

"Well, I've got credits," he murmured and his tone was dangerous enough for her to step away. She moved to the other side of the room, pretending to clean the straight razor with a towel.

"This one was free – otherwise, you could not afford me," she said dismissively. "I hope you were paying attention because you are on your own for future shaves. And I certainly hope you know how to handle a water shower because I am not about to teach you how to lather up in there."

Instead of diffusing the situation, as she'd hoped because she knew full well he could operate a water shower, her comments only seemed to charge the air around them with even more excitement and innuendo.

He got out of the chair he'd been sitting in and advanced on her. Sabine felt a mild panic and deep longing. If he tried to kiss her, she knew she wouldn't have the willpower to resist but this wasn't what they were here for. They needed to stay focused on the work.

But her anticipation was for nought. He stopped just short of her.

"Thanks for not killing me. I'm sure it took all your patience to avoid leaving me with a reminder of how irritated I make you," he said with a lazy smile.

"I….I deserve an award of some sort. Truly," she stammered, trying to match his light tone.

"And instead, you just get the honor of more time with me," he cracked, turning away from her to clean up the supplies they'd used to shave. She didn't respond but thought to herself he was a suitable reward. She certainly wasn't going to quibble over it.

"You sure you don't wanna show me how to use the shower?" he asked her from the bathroom, a wicked smile on his face.

She laughed and threw the towel she'd used at him.

For the rest of the day, they focused on the research. From time to time, one of them would look up to find the other looking over their way. But neither said anything, as if in unspoken agreement that some things were better left alone. Things like whatever it was coming to a boil between them.


	104. Chapter 104

For all their concerns regarding the way the village elders had reacted to her upon their arrival, it was not the men who ended up creating grief for McCoy and Sabine. Instead, it was the women themselves who turned the tide against them. Perhaps jealous from listening to their husbands extol the voluptuousness of the Starfleet doctor's assistant, or resentful that their partners were permitted to meet with strangers from space while they were forced to remain home, the women in the community mounted a campaign of malicious rumors regarding the female intruder. The story twisted with each retelling until its upshot was the invading female would walk the streets of the village late each night, attempting to seduce Vorkosan men.

The tale couldn't have been farther from the truth. Sabine had been so aggravated by the overt lewdness the village leaders had shown in their initial meeting that she'd shunned any and all excuses to leave the base. She had even foregone walking down to the beach with McCoy on their first evening planet-side. Her caution was appreciated by McCoy even as he felt bad for being allowed to explore the environment while she remained locked up inside. But she assured him she didn't mind and preferred to focus on the work before her. She wasn't lying either. Her primary intent was to find a cure and get off the planet so that they could rendez-vous with Cass. McCoy could act as their diplomat to the Vorkosans, and engage in all the pomp and festivities. Meanwhile, she would avoid any risk of contamination and get them the hell out.

Both Sabine and McCoy felt troubled by Vorkos and when he wasn't being forced to eat dinner with a local nobleman, or attend a meeting of the community aristocrats, he was working tirelessly alongside her to find a cure. They were making progress but as McCoy spent more time with the Vorkosans, he came to understand they might not have enough time to finish before things came to a head regarding his female assistant. The Vorkosans didn't know Uhura had programmed multiple dialects into the universal translators. Thinking they were slyly excluding McCoy from certain exchanges, they would discuss their mistrust of his assistant in front of him. Or they would graphically talk about what they would do to her if given the opportunity. It turned McCoy's stomach and took everything he had to pretend he couldn't understand what they were saying. Worse still, they discussed their plans for eliminating any females suspected to have brought the virus to their populace (Because, of course, it had to be a female in their minds. Men would never cause such troubles).

At night, in the safety of their shared room, cots as far from one another as the room allowed ("Take that, Jim," Sabine thought with no small amount of satisfaction), McCoy and Sabine would discuss the rumblings he'd heard in his visits to the villages. Both would have been loathe to admit it but these evening discussions were the highlight of their days as their time on Vorkos wore on. With McCoy's recovery, and headway being made in their attempts to pinpoint both the source of the virus and a cure for it, they enjoyed their nightly tête-à-têtes as time they could spend together, not researching, not working, not taking care of injuries – but just as friends – even if they were often burdened with serious topics of conversation.

Sabine had realized something during their time on Vorkos. Somewhere along the way, McCoy had become one of her best friends. She turned to him with almost any problem she had, knowing he would give her good advice or assistance, even if she had to suffer through some crankyness first. He made her laugh more than anyone else she knew. The other night, he'd walked in on her doing yoga in the center of their living quarters and started teasing her, asking if this was what she'd learned from Spock during their meditation sessions. Somehow the conversation had devolved into him doing impressions of Spock in bed with Jim and his impressions were so ridiculous yet spot-on that she'd collapsed to the floor in giggles, begging him to stop because it hurt her stomach to laugh that much continuously. He'd agreed but every time they looked at each other for the rest of the evening, one of them would raise an eyebrow or say "Captain," in a certain voice and set the other off again until both of them were laughing so hard, tears were streaming down their faces. In the small moments like these evenings together, getting ready for bed, she couldn't deny just how deeply she loved him. There were plenty of times during any given day where she could recognize how much she lusted after him – the man was a damn adonis – but underneath the desire to do a hundred different lewd things with him lay the simple fact that she wanted his voice to be the last thing she heard before she fell asleep and the first thing to greet her in the morning.

"They're planning to execute certain women but I'm not sure why," McCoy informed Sabine after one particularly distressing dinner.

"When you say 'certain women' what do you mean?"

"They keep referring to them as the women of the third eye," McCoy replied, removing his medical shirt.

Sabine didn't allow herself to appreciate how good he looked in his standard-issue black undershirt. She had already changed into her nightclothes – not the camisole and boy-shorts she would normally wear on the ship, but a loose-fitting, long-sleeved tee and flowing pants. The elders of the village might see her as simply a slave and sex symbol but she would do everything she could to refute such notions, even if the whole get-up was entirely too much clothing for a planet so warm.

"Women of the third eye," she repeated softly. "Women of the…I know this phrase from somewhere," she ruminated. "But where?"

As she paced in front of her bed, deep in thought, McCoy quickly changed in the tiny bathroom adjoining the living quarters. After, he looked over at her. Even in a baggy tee and loose pants, with her hair plaited into two braids down either side of her head, he found her strikingly beautiful. If anything, the juvenile hair-do added to her appeal, as far as he was concerned. He wasn't going to think too much of what it said about him that those braided pigtails led him to imagine grabbing them while she straddled him in bed. He shook his head to rid it of the unwelcome thought. Things were getting out of hand and he knew it. The more time they spent together, especially alone like this, the more tempted he became to throw what remaining caution he had to the wind. He wanted her. He could tell himself all day long that she'd cheated on him and broken his heart but goddamn, it wasn't working anymore. And the idea that they could maintain just a friendship rang more false to him with every passing day. He didn't want to be just her friend. He wanted to consume her the way she consumed his thoughts. He knew his feelings for her were more than just a desire to fuck her into the next week, though he certainly wanted to do that. Beyond sex, he also wanted to talk with her for hours on end, to comfort her when she was feeling down, to let her comfort him when everything was the worst. He wanted to make her laugh and he really wanted her to keep making him laugh. She had a subtle sense of humor – it took a while to get her going. But once she started in on a topic, she was one of the only people he knew who could consistently draw belly-ache laughs from him and he liked that her sense of humor was like a secret between the two of them. Sabine had become, yet again, someone he could envision spending the rest of his life with and McCoy wasn't entirely sure what to do with that revelation.

"Should we contact the ship for help?" he asked in an effort to get his mind off her.

"No," she replied distractedly, chewing on her lower lip. "Doubtless the Vorkosans would listen in on our conversation with the Enterprise and we need to keep our knowledge of their other dialects a secret."

At least one Vorkosan understood Standard, as McCoy had learned the hard way one evening, when he had cursed quietly after burning his tongue on a particularly hot bite of food and made eye contact with the Vorkosan in question, who had smiled back at him and begun speaking in Standard.

She had a point. McCoy furrowed his brow and crossed his arms over his chest as he thought about their options and attempted to ignore how close their quarters were. He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy sharing a room with her. He thought about the sighs and hums she made in her sleep and how… sexy… she was when she woke up in the morning, stretching out in her bed. What had gotten into him? Here they were in the midst of hostile aliens who wanted to execute women to stop a virus – he needed to focus on the external conflict – not the one happening in his pants.

Sabine saw McCoy bounce on his heels from the corner of her eye and smiled to herself. His nervous bounce had always been strangely endearing to her. But she had a riddle to solve, she scolded herself. They fell into a friendly, if not tense, silence as each contemplated their own obstacles.

"Ah-ha," she cried out suddenly, stopping mid pace. He looked over in surprise, worried for a second that she'd somehow sensed his less-than-pure thoughts. But her face exhibited nothing other than elation at solving a puzzle. "I remember!"

"Ancient Naralians were travelers," she began. "They met telepaths from various planets before they enacted the isolationist policy they live under now. One group they met referred to telepaths as people of the third eye or people of the third being. Could it be the people they met were Vorkosans?"

"Maybe," he replied, intrigued. He was always interested to hear about the places she'd visited in the time after the Academy, before coming aboard the Enterprise, and he knew she had a special fascination and affection for Nara II. That interest may have just solved a major piece of the puzzle for them.

"They referred specifically to women of the third eye," McCoy said carefully. "Do only women on Vorkos exhibit telepathy?"

"I am unsure. I do know I have not felt any telepathic signals from the men we have met with since arriving."

She thought about her many conversations with Ch'lousa. He had mentioned his sister being shunned from the village for her unique abilities. He hadn't referred to her as a woman of the third eye, but he had said she was viewed as a mystic. Ch'lousa had explained that, in the past, women like his sister had been revered – almost worshipped by Vorkosans. Over time, though, they were treated as untrustworthy and dangerous. Sabine bit her lip. Should she tell McCoy her suspicions? He'd probably have her beamed aboard the ship faster than she could say "Telepathy." And they were so close to finding a viable vaccination.

"So if they're rounding up women, and more specifically, women with telepathy –" he said slowly, a new concern dawning on him. "Darlin', that's you."

She turned slightly away from him, her cheeks flushed from the use of his old pet name for her. He immediately regretted his slip of the tongue but opted to say nothing rather than make things more awkward.

"We do not know for sure it is just the women," she mumbled.

"Yeah, but we know they're complaining about you. That was another thing discussed at dinner tonight. Same rumors about you walking through the village at night, seducing men…"

"You know that is patently untrue," she replied, agitated. "You are with me here all night, every night," she added. Now McCoy turned red as he thought about the two of them together in that rather small room every night. If there was anyone she was seducing….He didn't let himself finish the thought.

"It's not me you need to worry about. I know you're not out there seducing the Vorkosan men," he retorted. "But they don't."

"You can always send me back," she countered, with a touch of defiance.

"If it keeps you safe, I absolutely will."

They stared each other down and McCoy sighed.

"For now, let's just focus on the work," he conceded.

* * *

But the Vorkosans had other plans. The next day, Sabine and McCoy found the source of the virus – a small, indigenous animal known as a murka, which Vorkosans often hunted for food, had passed the virus to the natives via their diet. The virus had mutated and now affected the Vorkosans just as it had depleted the murkas. Their breakthrough in pinpointing the source was a cause of celebration for both doctors and they hugged one another affectionately, happy to have overcome such a major hurdle in their research. Surely the cure was no more than another few days of study and work away. As they embraced (neither eager to end the contact), they heard a crashing sound outside the lab. They pulled apart and looked over to the window from whence they'd heard the clanging.

"Stay here," McCoy ordered Sabine. Normally, she would object, knowing she was the better fighter, but this was Vorkos. It was better if she kept out of sight.

"Dammit," McCoy cursed when he reached the window. He saw a large Vorkosan male with a similar weapon to the one that had injured him retreating into the woods that surrounded the lab. The Vorkosan turned and aimed the weapon at the window.

"Get down!" McCoy shouted as he lowered himself to the ground.

At once, multiple windows in the lab were shattered. McCoy had his face to the floor, with his hands braced across the back of his head so he wasn't sure if the one blast had broken through multiple windows or what was happening. Smoke filled the room.

"McCoy!" he heard Latour scream and he looked up. Through the haze he could see her being dragged through the lab door by another Vorkosan male.

"Latour," he shouted back, jumping to his feet and running after them. He made it outside in time to see Latour fighting the other being. Vorkosans were larger than humans and their muscles were more dense, making it an unfair fight, but when had that ever stopped her? She won unfair fights with the odds stacked against her all the time. But McCoy wasn't going to sit this one out. Especially after the Vorkosan punched Latour in the face, causing her to lose her footing momentarily. McCoy rushed in behind the Vorkosan and caught him by surprise. His diversion gave Sabine time to regroup and continue her assault from the front. She managed to stab the Vorkosan and McCoy wondered where she had gotten the knife, though he would be completely unsurprised if she told him she'd been carrying it on her person all along. That seemed like a very Sabine thing to do. McCoy attempted to grab the Vorkosan from behind, jumping on his back. His attack surprised the other male but he quickly found himself thrown to the ground, with an angry and armed being standing over him. Somehow the Vorkosan had gotten ahold of Sabine's knife. McCoy backed away as the attacker advanced on him. Sabine grabbed the Vorkosan's open arm and pulled him away and he swiped at her with the knife, causing her to cry out. McCoy scrambled to his feet, ready to help her overtake their attacker.

Before they could subdue the Vorkosan, another shot rang out and more smoke appeared before the three. McCoy moved swiftly to Sabine and pulled her close before the smoke grew too thick to see through. When it cleared, the attacker had disappeared. They both stared into the woods around them, looking for the other Vorkosan with the weapon but everything was silent. Almost eerily so. McCoy finally looked down at Sabine.

"Your eye," he said in an undertone, gently touching the bruise that was already forming around her right eye. She winced but allowed him to continue his examination. He found the cut on her arm too. "Let's get you fixed up."

"Do you think they are gone?" she whispered back, allowing him to steer her back inside the lab.

"I don't know," he sighed.

"There was more than one shooter," she told him as he grabbed the lab's med kit. "I saw two different smoke bullets enter the room at almost the same time."

"The noise was a distraction," he replied as he attended to her face. "They wanted to separate us so they could grab you." He paused as he broke an ice pack and applied it to her eye. "You aren't safe here," he said, looking down into her uncovered eye before moving to bandage her forearm.

"I know," she said softly, returning his gaze while taking over holding the ice pack so that he could bandage her. "We are so close to a cure. If you wish to send me back to the ship, I understand. But the work will move faster with two of us here."

He knew she was right. They were on the cusp of success. All they needed was a few more uninterrupted days, maybe even less. He finished wrapping her arm. Without thinking, McCoy reached out and brushed her hair behind her ear. She looked up at him with her good eye. He moved his hand away from her hair and she grabbed it, interlacing her fingers in his. For a minute, they said nothing, just held hands. He realized her hand was shaking in his.

"You okay?" he asked her in a low voice.

"Mmm-hmm," she replied. "Just…"

"Scared?"

She narrowed her eye.

"Okay, okay. Not scared," he corrected himself, their hands still entwined. He pulled his hand away, but only to sit next to her and put his arm around her, pulling Sabine close. She didn't resist. Instead, she burrowed her head against his chest, the ice pack giving him a bit of a shock as it came into contact with him. But he was too content holding her to complain. Her arm snaked across his chest and clutched his shoulder tightly.

"I am not scared," she qualified. "I just do not mind if you want to comfort me for a moment."

He chuckled in spite of himself and the dire situation. "Oh really?" he challenged her, playing with her curls between his fingers. "This is for my good, huh?" he teased. She didn't reply and he fell silent once more, enjoying the feel of her in his arms.

"Are you going to send me back?" she finally asked him, pulling away to make eye contact with him. But for that ice pack in the way, he would have kissed her right then and there. He didn't know what to do. She wasn't safe on the base but she was a damn good researcher and, selfishly, he wanted her there with him.

"Let's see what happens. I can almost guarantee you, the village elders will be here shortly."

"Why?" she asked, as he got up and finished cleaning up the supplies he'd pulled from the med kit. She handed him items with her free hand as he organized everything back into its proper place.

"They were unsuccessful in taking you. Now, the elders will either attempt to cover for the would-be kidnappers, or they'll demand that I turn you over."

"Say whatever you need to say to them to buy us time," she beseeched him. He put his hand out for her to take and he pulled her up to her feet. Not letting himself question it, he bent down and kissed her on the forehead, quickly. If she was upset by the gesture, she hid it well, staring up at him expectantly.

"I'll do what I can. For now, the safest place on this base is the living quarters. You should stay there." Their quarters had no windows. She nodded and moved towards the room.

"You got in a nice couple of punches there," she said, turning to him before she closed the door to the living quarters. "All that practice in the rec room is paying off." She gave him a half smile and he smirked back at her.

"I learned from the best," he replied. She laughed softly and shut the door. Now they would wait.

* * *

It did not take long for the elders of the village to assemble at the base, demanding to discuss the foiled attack with McCoy. He met them all in the main room of the lab, which he had left messy with the remnants of the shattered windows. He wanted them to see the damage that had been done.

"You have not had your woman clean this up yet?" one of the elders sniffed.

"My assistant is in no condition to clean," McCoy bristled.

"What happened today is unfortunate. A misunderstanding, to be sure," the leader of the elders said smoothly. "Several villagers were hunting in the woods when they came upon the lab and witnessed you working alongside the female you brought with you. They say she attacked you and they deemed it necessary to fire upon you, in an effort to take her away. As you know, there have been many complaints in the village about the nocturnal activities of your assistant."

McCoy was unimpressed. "In our culture, we allow our women to assist with our work. We also hug each other from time to time – I'd hardly consider an embrace between a man and woman to be an attack. But, as I explained to all of you upon our arrival, she is mine alone. She answers only to me and this nonsense about her nightly trips into the village has got to stop. She's here with me every night. I know that for a fact."

"Do you? Or does she use her mind to convince you she's here when she's actually in the village, seducing other men?" The elder asked his question with a near-glee that disturbed McCoy.

"We have reason to believe she practices the same kind of craft that some of the less scrupulous women in our village practice," another elder added.

"Have any of you seen her? Has she attempted to seduce any of you? Tell me. I'd love to hear one Vorkosan come forward with a story about how he was seduced by my assistant."

The elders were silent so McCoy continued.

"Maybe the problem isn't my assistant but your own women. They're the ones spreading tales. Why would my assistant leave the lab at night when she has everything she needs right here?" Inside, McCoy cringed at what he was saying but he knew the role he had to play to the Vorkosan elders.

"What if she is not coming to the village to seduce us?" one of the elders asked.

"Yes, exactly," McCoy replied. "That's what I'm trying to tell you."

The elder continued. "What if she is coming to the village to spread the virus?"

McCoy groaned audibly while some of the other elders nodded and whispered amongst themselves.

"We're here to help you find a cure," McCoy argued, exasperated. "Why would we infect more of you with the virus? The virus was here before we were."

Another elder replied, "But it has only gotten worse since you arrived."

"And it is curious," their leader piped up, "how neither you nor your assistant seem to be the least bit sick."

"You're kidding, right?" McCoy asked, incredulously. "You think because we're not sick, that we're somehow responsible for the virus? We're the ones finding a cure."

"A cure? Or the annihilation of our species?" one of the elders cried out and several others vigorously nodded, voicing their agreement with him.

"This is ludicrous," McCoy huffed, genuinely irritated. "We'll leave. You all can figure out something on your ow –"

"Let us not make hasty decisions," their chief interceded. "Perhaps we can come to an understanding which will allow you to finish your work and for us to be less fearful of what's happening here. Give us your assistant and we'll leave you in peace."

"No," McCoy said defiantly. "My assistant is going nowhere. She cannot travel right now."

"Why is that? The hunters assured us she was unscathed in today's skirmish."

"She's not leaving here because she's injured," McCoy said. "Your hunters lied. They did quite a number on her. Myself as well," he said as he lifted his shirt to show them the bruise developing on his side from where the Vorkosan had thrown him to the ground.

His words, and the sight of his bruise, gave them temporary pause.

"Why would they lie to us about your injuries?"

"Did you get cut?"

"Are you able to finish the work?"

They volleyed questions at him faster than he could answer. McCoy shook his head at how they accused him of trying to commit genocide one minute and yet worried over his ability to save them the next. He was damn sure this would be his last trip to Vorkos – Starfleet would have to find another idiot to put up with these assholes the next time a medical crisis hit them. Finally their head shouted out for silence.

"Since you and your assistant are injured, we will leave you to rest. But we are running out of patience and there are villagers nearing death. We hope you will find a solution before matters become even more dire."

McCoy understood the thinly-veiled threat behind the elder's words.

"If you'll let me work, gentlemen," he said wearily, "I will have a better chance at finding the cure than if we continue talking."

The elders took a few more minutes to grumble but began to shuffle out of the lab and back down the wooded hill to the village. McCoy watched them leave with annoyance and a pit of nervousness in his stomach. They needed time to create the cure.

Meanwhile, Sabine backed away from the door to the living quarters, where she'd spent the entire meeting with her ear pressed to it, listening in. She was convinced McCoy would come back and tell her it was time for her to return to the Enterprise. But she was now worried for his safety as well as her own. The elders had made it clear they were not pleased with either doctor.


	105. Chapter 105

They were both exhausted from the day's events. McCoy had been especially testy since the village leaders had left but Sabine had felt off all afternoon and evening. She couldn't pinpoint what was wrong – she just knew she didn't feel right. She chalked it up to the unsettling turn the mission had taken even as a part of her remembered that missions went wrong all the time without her feeling so queasy. She skipped dinner, opting instead to rest and drink water. McCoy came into the living quarters to retire for the evening and gave her the once over as she drank her water in bed.

"You okay?" he asked her. "You look a little pale." The bruise around her eye looked pretty bad as well but he kept that to himself.

"I am fine," she replied, not feeling as confident as she tried to sound. "Just tired from the excitement of the day."

"You sure?" he asked her, not taking his eyes off of her.

"Stop worrying so much," she answered. "I will be right as rain in the morning."

He gave her a small smile and they both quickly finished their nightly routines, getting into their respective cots.

Later on, in the middle of the night, McCoy rose from his bed. Sabine had been restless all night, tossing and mumbling in her sleep. He'd called out to wake her but she hadn't acknowledged his words. He knew, from sharing the room with her, that she was a light sleeper so her unresponsiveness, coupled with the fits she seemed to be having, had him more than concerned. Testing how deep her sleep was, he sat on the corner of her cot but she didn't wake, continuing to make odd sounds as she struggled with her dreams.

He slid one arm under her back and propped her against him. She was burning up. Sabine groggily awoke.

"Leo, qu'est-ce que tu fais?" she asked in confusion. Her head lolled to the side.

"I can't understand you when you speak French," he replied gently. "Are you okay? You've got a fever."

"What is going on?" Everything felt like it was far away. Was she really in his arms? Sabine tried to press herself against him. "Is this finally happening?" she asked him but he gave her a confused look, unsure of what she was talking about.

"Shh," he admonished her. "Don't worry. You're gonna be fine," he said to her in as soothing a voice as he could muster. He felt the exact opposite of what he was telling her. He was worried and, as he peeled back the bandage on her arm and looked at the puffy and swollen wound, the last thing he was certain of was whether she'd be fine. He thought about the fight again. It had all happened so fast but she had cut the Vorkosan first. His blood was on the knife before he swiped at her which meant it could have entered her wound. Goddammit. The virus manifested first as a fever.

"Dammit," he muttered.

"Mmm, pourquoi dis-tu ça?"

He didn't respond, not only because he couldn't understand her but because he was focused on her symptoms.

"Darlin'," he coaxed her, "Open your mouth for me." He turned on the lamp by her bed.

She did as he asked, her hand grabbing at and curling up in his nightshirt. He inspected her tongue and saw the tell-tale nodules on the back of it.

"Fuck," he swore softly.

"Mmm?" she hummed drowsily, resting her full weight against him, unable to prop herself up any longer, her strength spent.

"You've got the virus," he said grimly.

* * *

She awoke on her cot later, sore and feverish. She had no idea how long she'd been out. Her mouth was dry but she could move. Still everything felt sluggish – as though she was trapped inside an aquarium, watching her surroundings through cloudy water.

"Quoi… comment… qu'est-ce qu'il se passe? Où suis-je?" she asked quietly to the empty room, trying to feel around in the dim lamplight for a cell phone, a tablet, then, as she remembered which time she was now living in, a communicator, a phaser – anything to help her. It all came rushing back. She was on that damnable planet. Their society distrusted her. They'd fought with the locals. Sabine touched her eye softly to confirm the fight had been real. She'd been sleeping and then McCoy had awakened her in the middle of the night. She remembered curses and him rummaging around the room. Why? What had he done to her?

Sabine momentarily had a vague awareness she might be delirious but it passed and she contemplated whether the past several months had all been a lie on his part. Had he pretended to warm up to her so that he could finally find a way to get rid of her? The part of her still sufficiently tethered to reality, that sensed he'd meant her no harm, was rapidly diminishing. She was losing her hold on the real world as her fever spiked. She heard movement on the other side of the door and her instincts took over. Sabine shut the light off, plunging the room into darkness, and rolled under her cot. The door to the room opened and McCoy was standing there, shots in his hand. She hoped he wouldn't be able to see her. The door closed and they were in darkness.

"Dammit," she heard him curse. "Where's the light?" Rather than turn around and open the door to let light from the other room in, McCoy moved forward to find the lamp on the small table between their cots. He was worried – though it had been dark in the room, he'd sworn Latour wasn't in her bed when he'd looked over as he stepped into the living quarters. Had she awakened? Disoriented as she'd be, who knew where she was. At least the room was small. He hit his knee on his own cot and cursed again, dropping the shots on the bed. Fumbling for the side table, he almost knocked down the infernal lamp before finally switching it on. It took his eyes a moment to adjust but sure enough, Latour wasn't in her bed.

McCoy turned to look around the room and Sabine made her move. She grabbed his ankles and yanked them back so that he fell to the ground with a startled yelp. Quickly, she moved out from under her cot and pressed one knee into his back, locking her arms around his neck so that his head was in a vice.

"Why are you trying to kill me?" she hissed in his ear, all rationality gone.

"I'm not… trying… to kill you," he gasped as her vice-grip around his neck tightened. He'd heard Hendorff and Jim talk about her taking them down in mock-fight after mock-fight during recreation time, though she'd always held back in their own sessions. He'd even seen her best opponents double her size on away missions. But McCoy never thought he'd be on the receiving end of violence from Sabine and he was all the more concerned that she believed he meant her lethal harm. He was very aware in that instant she could probably kill him if she wanted. He also knew she was suffering from serious dissociation and hallucinations. For the last two days, she'd been mumbling in her sleep about all sorts of beings she needed to fight or run from. And she wasn't the only one dealing with the virus now.

He'd managed to catch it himself, though it wasn't nearly as serious for him. But he understood, from their conversation that first day, why it was affecting her the same way it affected the villagers. She had different antibodies in her system. He was sure if he looked at her file, he'd find out her vaccinations were up to date. But that didn't mean she wouldn't be affected more severely by certain sicknesses than a modern human. If she didn't kill him, he was going to have a long talk with Jim about letting her come down to Vorkos and risk contact with a potentially lethal illness.

"Vas te faire foutre," she muttered, her breath hot on his ear. "Arrête tes conneries!"

"I…can't…understand you," he choked out.

Lights danced in front of Sabine's eyes and for a moment, the room swirled. She was in a pasture in the countryside. No, it was a small café in Pairs. No, it was the Academy. She shook her head, trying to figure out where she was and what was happening. McCoy felt her arms slacken for a moment and he broke away from her, throwing her off his back as he lunged forward. But dazed and confused as she might be, Sabine would not let her enemy get away. She jumped on him and they wrestled for a moment, rolling around on the floor. While McCoy initially tried to pull his punches, he discovered he needed to fight as hard as he could to keep from getting knocked out. Somehow, he ended up on his back and Sabine straddled his chest, punching him hard just below his right eye.

"Shit," he cried out, seeing stars out of one eye and her fist coming towards him out the other eye. He blocked her balled-up hand with his own and flipped her off of him. She fell face first to the ground beside him and he scrambled to contain her while she was confused and disoriented. It was his turn to use a knee to her back, as gently as he could while still restraining her. He felt a trickle of blood run from his nose to his mouth. Good God, she was stronger than anyone her size had a right to be. And he was certain he'd have a black eye. A black eye he'd have to let heal naturally for as long as they were on the planet. Beneath him, her chest rose and fell rapidly and she continued to babble. He was pretty sure she was fully engulfed in hallucinations at that point but he didn't want to take any chances. He pulled her to her feet and she staggered, woozy. Dragging her along, he made his way to his cot and the shot full of sedatives he'd planned to give her to alleviate the effects of the hallucinations. As soon as she saw the shot, she began to struggle but she'd lost the power and coordination she'd possessed just minutes ago and he was able to inject her. She crumpled in his arms and he placed her on her cot. Asleep, she looked nothing like the hellcat who'd just ambushed him. He brushed her hair out of her face.

"Sorry, darlin'. It's for your own good." He knew she couldn't hear him but he felt the need to apologize anyway. Hopefully, she'd be through the woods in a few hours. He grimaced as the effects of the virus exhibited for him and grabbed the other shot he'd brought in to give himself a dose of sedative as well. Fingers crossed that in the morning, they'd both be fine, he hoped as he drifted into sleep.

* * *

The next day, McCoy was more than disturbed. He was getting over the illness while Sabine continued to suffer from fever and hallucinations. He had found the hypos M'Benga had sent with her and given her all of them but they appeared to have done little to slow the virus as it worked its way through her system and he didn't have the right equipment with him to truly know what her condition was. McCoy had no choice. They needed to get in contact with the Enterprise, eavesdroppers be damned. Her only hope for survival was in the modern technology on the ship, coupled with him completing their work on the vaccination.

"Enterprise, do you read me? Come in, Enterprise," he spoke softly into the CB radio, as though that would prevent any nosy Vorkosans from listening in.

"Aye, Doctor McCoy. We hear ya," came Scotty's voice over the device. McCoy was relieved to hear the Scotsman.

"Scotty, is the captain there?"

"Bones," Jim's familiar voice burst over the radio static.

"Dammit, Jim! We have a problem," McCoy said grimly, thinking it was probably a good thing the captain wasn't in front of him because he could only count a handful of times in his life that he'd seriously considered punching his friend and this was one of them.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Latour. She's got the virus," he replied.

"How?"

"Maybe because you let someone with obsolete antibodies come down on this mission with me, despite my objections, and now she's dying," McCoy replied testily. There was silence on the other end before Jim finally replied.

"You know?"

"What? About Latour's past? Yes. What I'm considerably less clear on is why you allowed her come on this mission," McCoy growled.

"Bones, Spock and I talked to her about the risks. She chose to go down there," Jim protested. He wondered just how much his friend knew or remembered. Something to investigate later.

"That's no excuse and you know it. You're the captain and so help me, if she doesn't make it, I'm coming after you," McCoy snarled. If Jim had any question in his mind about McCoy's feelings for Sabine, it was answered by the fire he was feeling from Bones through the communicator.

"Look, let's have this conversation when you're not trying to come up with a vaccine. What do you need from me right now?" Jim answered, not worrying about the fact that his friend was mouthing off to him over official channels. Official channels had never stopped any of them from acting up and he wasn't about to call Bones out for caring about his fellow doctor.

"You need to beam her up so M'Benga can treat her because she's pretty bad off," McCoy answered in frustration.

"Okay, I'll have Scotty lock on her coordinates. How close are you to finding a vaccine?"

"Close – maybe another couple of days or so. But she doesn't have that much time without the resources available on the ship."

"Understood. Scotty, you have her?" McCoy could hear the engineer answer in the affirmative and he watched as Sabine was transported from her bed.

* * *

McCoy spent another three days working out the antidote. He used stimulants to keep himself awake, working tirelessly for the cure because now there was more at stake than the Vorkosans. He had to create a vaccine for Sabine. His need to see her well again fueled him through those days, even as he felt lonely without her presence by his side in the lab. Once he'd created a viable vaccine, he shared his findings with the Enterprise so they could get to work on one for Sabine. He also spread the vaccine to the villagers, even if a part of him wanted to tell every last one of them to go to hell. He was ready to return to the ship that evening. They would monitor the planet from above but he was confident the crisis had been solved without breaking the prime directive. His main concern now was ensuring Sabine was well. McCoy was never one to expect a hero's welcome upon return from a mission like this but he certainly hadn't anticipated Jim's stern stare as he materialized on the platform in the Enterprise's transporter room, especially since he believed his friend still deserved a thorough dressing-down for being so cavalier with Sabine's life.

"Jim," he started, cocking his eyebrow in his most "don't mess with me" glare.

"Doctor," his friend responded, leaving McCoy in no doubt that the captain was in charge. "Nice bruise." Jim's tone was light but McCoy knew he only used formal titles when something was up.

"You guys got his and her black eyes," Jim joked but his eyes remained unsmiling.

"What's wrong?" McCoy asked, not wanting to waste time with banter when it was clear Jim had something on his mind.

"Walk with me." It was not a suggestion and McCoy fell into step with Kirk as they left the transporter room.

"Where are we headed?" he asked in confusion as they walked in the opposite direction from med bay and his office.

"I want to show you something," Jim replied tightly, walking quickly down the hallway. They were headed towards officer quarters. Jim stopped abruptly at a familiar door; Latour's.

"Your vaccine is working but I'm troubled by some of the things Latour has said over the past few days."

"She's been hallucinating," McCoy responded. "I imagine she's said a lot of things that would give cause for alarm. Who knows what she's been seeing while under the influence of the virus?"

"Well, let's stop in and make sure she's okay," Jim said resolutely, not giving the doctor an option.

"Why is she here and not sickbay?" McCoy asked suspiciously.

"Doctor Latour has been confined to quarters," Kirk watched as his friend's eyes widened in concern.

"Why?"

"Take a look," Jim replied.

Jim pushed the chime for Sabine's quarters and the doors opened, allowing the two men entry to her room. McCoy could see instantly why she'd been restricted to her room. The place was a disaster. Broken chairs and holo frames – scattered pieces of dishes hastily swept into a pile so as to keep anyone from stepping on a shard.

"One of the first things M'Benga did was give her a hypo to help alleviate the symptoms she was exhibiting. Unfortunately, we didn't realize the combination of the hypo with her continued visions and telekinesis would prove so damaging," Jim said, a hint of exhaustion showing. "She's confined to quarters because anything she breaks in here can be easily replaced."

McCoy shook his head. He wondered what she might have broken in med bay. But none of that mattered as much as making sure she was okay. He quickly ran his eyes over the room, looking for her.

Sabine was in bed, on the left side of the room. She smiled upon seeing the captain but her face froze when her eyes fell on McCoy.

Jim turned to McCoy. "Care to take a look at the patient?"

McCoy didn't know what Jim was up to but he pulled out his tricorder and moved towards Sabine. Meanwhile the captain watched as her eyes widened and she began to grip her blankets tightly. She was clearly in distress over the approach of her fellow doctor.

The dread on Sabine's face as she watched him move towards her caused McCoy to stop. She was scared of him. Her fight or flight reflex was kicking in and McCoy already had one bruised eye to tell him he didn't want to be on the other side when she decided to fight. She could take him down in seconds if she wanted, of that he was sure. He noticed the conspicuous lack of anything she could use as a weapon – hopefully a proactive move as opposed to a reactive one. Just how much had he missed in the days since she'd been beamed aboard?

"Latour, I just want to get a reading on your life signs," he began gently but she was already moving away from him, to the farthest corner of her bed. It pained and confused him to see her so frightened and angry.

"Sabine," he began again, using her first name in an effort to connect with her.

"No. Get my name out of your mouth. You tried to kill me," she growled.

"I did not. I took care of you – did the best I could with what we had down on the base," he countered, trying to get closer to her, forgetting that his friend and superior officer was watching the entire transaction between him and Sabine unfold.

"You did not want to help me. You wanted me gone," she cried, jumping out of her bed as McCoy got too close for her comfort. She looked at him with wild eyes.

"Why did you give me the virus?" She was raging now, her eyes flashing. "You hypoed me without my permission," she yelled, moving farther away from McCoy as he attempted to get close enough to her for a scan.

"I did no such thing," he replied indignantly. "You got the virus from one of the hunters who attacked us," he replied hotly. Sabine had backed herself against a wall and she looked at the captain in desperation as McCoy drew closer to her.

"Are you just going to stand there and watch?" she asked Kirk. Jim had seen enough. He quickly intervened between McCoy and Sabine and turned to his friend.

"Look at her. Why is she so angry with you, Bones? What happened down there?" His tone was slightly accusatory and McCoy was immediately on the defensive.

"I didn't do a damn thing to her. The villagers were restless and looking to assign blame for the virus on someone. They were spying on us at the base. They attacked and tried to take her! The elders all showed up and I talked them down but there was no way they'd give us a second chance. Jim, I'm telling you now, she should never have been there but I didn't give her the virus. She got it from one of the Vorkosans when they attacked – he cut her arm with a knife. It had his blood on it and the virus got into her system through the wound. The only hypos I gave her were sedatives to help with the hallucinations, and the ones from M'Benga that I found in her bag."

McCoy looked helplessly at Sabine, against the wall and using Jim as a human shield against him. It was like a punch in the gut. They had both worked so hard to become friends and now it was all unraveling. It was hard to believe she thought he had infected her but even worse was answering to Jim, as though he too might actually think McCoy would do such a thing. He remained in doctor mode, not willing to deal with the pain he felt over her accusations that he'd deliberately hurt her.

"She's still under the effects of the virus," he pointed out to Jim. "She's scared of me because she's not fully recovered – she doesn't remember what happened yet." He hoped and prayed he was right.

"Did you inject her with the virus?" Jim's voice was stern.

McCoy hung his head.

"Of course not. How could you ask me something like that?" McCoy looked at Jim with such disappointment and dejection that the captain looked down, upset at himself for ever questioning McCoy's integrity. But Jim remembered how lucid she'd seemed and the fear Sabine had displayed whenever she'd heard McCoy's name over the past three days. He hadn't wanted to think his friend would inject her with the virus but he hadn't understood why she was so insistent otherwise. All of her other hallucinations had been so unquestionably unrealistic that he'd been left doubting his best friend. And it wasn't like this would be the first time Bones had been unorthodox in his practice of medicine. Jim remembered more than one mission where his friend had used himself as the test subject for a vaccine. So it hadn't seemed all that strange to wonder if he had used Latour. Only now, seeing how disappointed McCoy was in his lack of faith was leaving Jim with a pit in his stomach.

Something in the doctor snapped. He was furious. Jim and Spock had let her go down to the planet, knowing the risks, and now Jim was willing to think McCoy would give her the virus? Who put these idiots in charge?

"Why the hell was she allowed to go on the mission if there was a chance she could react so badly? You send us down there and don't tell one of us necessary information? What in blazes did you think would happen? And now you want to blame me for her infection? Good God, man! What the hell is wrong with you?"

That's enough, Bones," Jim said tiredly.

"I did everything I could to protect her," McCoy repeated adamantly, ignoring Jim's command. "Darlin', you have to believe me. The only injections I gave you were to help alleviate the virus. I only ever wanted you to be safe."

She had looked up at him when he called her darlin' and a tear rolled down her cheek. The last thing he'd expected was to come back and see her traumatized like this.

"I want you confined to your quarters while we figure out what to do about this," Jim said evenly.

"The hell you do. Why am I being confined to quarters?" McCoy asked, filled with angry apprehension.

"Because she filed a formal complaint against you with Spock and now we have to sort it out," Jim said, irritated with himself that he'd allowed the complaint to happen. He should have known to wait till McCoy was back and could defend himself.

"You let her file a complaint in her state? And who's we?"

"Me, Spock, Starfleet Command –"

"Why are you getting Command involved in this?" McCoy asked worriedly. He knew he stood to lose his license if they decided against him. He had a spotless record but it only took one complaint of patient abuse and she'd been his patient down on the planet. McCoy rubbed his tired eyes. He hadn't slept more than an hour at a time for almost three days.

"Spock sent the complaint to Command," Jim sighed.

"That goddamned, green-blooded –"

"Bones," Jim interrupted wearily. McCoy wasn't the only one who'd been sleep-deprived. Having someone with unlimited telekinetic energy on board and hallucinating had not been his idea of a good time. At one point, he'd been worried she was going to inadvertently destroy the ship. Jim had ordered Uhura to give him a universal translator geared to French so he could understand Sabine when she spoke in her sleep and the things she'd said – it had chilled him. He knew her past. Knew exactly what bombs she was afraid of, knew who she was looking for among the dead. He thought to himself that it was a good thing Bones hadn't been there to see her suffering. If Bones was mad now, he was gonna flip when he saw what she'd done to med bay in the five minutes before they'd been able to knock her out with a sedative. Confining Bones to quarters gave them more time to get med bay cleaned up.

"All I need is proof that you meant to keep Latour safe," he said, watching McCoy's reaction. "For the time being, until I obtain said proof, remain in your quarters." There was an air of finality to Jim's words.

"Yes, sir," McCoy replied faintly. He looked over at Sabine. "I'm so sorry you got sick," he murmured. McCoy left the room and headed for his own and Jim turned to Sabine.

"How are you feeling?" he asked the convalescing doctor.

As the two men had talked, she had experienced a moment of clarity; such moments were happening more often now that she'd been given the vaccine and they were lasting longer each time. She realized she was going to live. And listening to McCoy defend himself, she knew she'd made things much worse while in the grips of the virus. He hadn't been trying to kill her after all. She'd been so sure he was the one who had infected her. But the truth was coming back in spurts and she had a sinking feeling she'd ruined their friendship in her delusional state.

"I have made a terrible mistake," she murmured, her vision blurring.

"Sabs, listen to me and answer my question," Jim said gravely as he placed both hands on her arms and gently turned her until her eyes met his and focused on him. "Did Doctor McCoy inject you with the virus while you two were on Vorkos?"

"I…I do not know," she replied. "I do not think so. I have a memory of him injecting me, but what if I am wrong? What if it was just one of the hypos from M'Benga, just as McCoy said?"

"I may need you to retract your complaint," Jim replied to her, uncertain a retraction would even be permitted by Command.

"Will he be banned from practicing?" she asked.

"Not if I can help it," Jim replied determinedly.

She chewed on her bottom lip. "I do not want him to be in trouble," she whispered.

"Rest for now," Jim told her. "No decisions will be made before you've had a chance to make a full recovery and I've been able to thoroughly question everyone involved."

"Okay," her voice was hollow. After helping her back into bed and calling for M'Benga to stop by with additional hypos for her pain and nausea, Jim left Sabine and pondered his next steps.

* * *

"I don't know that he'll let you get a word out before he tears into you, but an apology might go a long way to repairing things with Bones," Jim frowned at Spock as he finished speaking.

"You're suggesting I apologize for submitting a complaint to Command per regulations? A complaint you reviewed before my submission?" Spock raised an eyebrow at the captain.

"Yeah, Spock. I'm suggesting you apologize because I already have and this goes beyond doing what's right according to the regulations. This is about doing what's right by our colleague and friend," Jim sighed, frustrated.

"I agree that the chances of the doctor allowing me to apologize to him are slim. I calculate a 3.72 –"

"Save the statistics for later."

"When? Do you want them an hour from now?" If Jim didn't know any better, he'd swear the Vulcan was fucking with him.

"It's just a saying, Spock. I don't want the statistics at all." Jim looked at the Vulcan with a mix of wonderment and consternation. "Now would be a good time for you to tap into the human half," he muttered. Spock stared at him in deep thought.

"If Latour changes her complaint," he said slowly, pondering his own words as he spoke them, "That would mitigate many of our problems. And perhaps serve as something better than an apology from me to Doctor McCoy."

"And just how do we get her to re-do the complaint, Spock? Even if she regrets it, we've already submitted it."

"Yes, but she can make alterations," Spock noted. "Anyone who submits a complaint is allowed to alter it within the first week of its submission. Such alterations may even be significant, according to Regulation 27.91(b)4."

Jim gave Spock an appreciative nod. "Now you're talking," he said to his first officer.

"As you have mentioned many times, Captain, humans are given to illogical behaviors, none more so than actions related to matters of the heart. There is a considerable chance Doctor Latour will not want Doctor McCoy punished and will alter her complaint accordingly."

Jim gave his Vulcan counterpart a sly grin.

"Uhura was right," he gently ribbed Spock. "You are an old romantic!"

"I do not see how my findings indicate any personal preference for romance. On the contrary, I believe –"

"Okay, okay – take a joke, Spock," Jim said lightheartedly as he thought about his next move to protect both his best friend and the woman he wanted Bones to end up with.

"What are you planning, Captain?" Spock inquired, seeing the look of determination on Jim's face.

"Well, if Latour's gonna edit her complaint, we need to give her a chance to do so," he replied as he looked over at the ship-wide comm on the wall of his cabin. He had an idea – more of a hunch – that might remedy the issue of Latour's misguided complaint against McCoy. While Spock watched him, mildly perplexed, he went over to the device.

"Kirk to Doctor M'Benga," he called out over the comm, after hitting the button for med bay.

"M'Benga here" responded the doctor.

"Doctor, would it be too soon to end Latour's confinement to quarters?"

There was a pause as the man on the other end of the line considered the question.

"I saw Doctor Latour today. She's still physically weak from the virus but her mental facilities seem normal – for her – and she's certainly restless enough to be released."

"How about the nightmares?"

"She said it's been a couple of days since she had one. She also cleaned her quarters. You'd never know she tore that place apart."

"Good enough for me," the Captain replied as Spock raised an eyebrow at him. "Take her off confinement, Doctor."

"Yes sir."

They ended the comm and Jim looked over to Spock.

"Now we wait and see what happens."

"I confess, I do not quite understand how this will help. Would it not be more productive to simply ask Doctor Latour to revise her complaint?" Spock asked.

"Just go with me on this. It's more illogical human behavior. Sit back and enjoy the show, Spock."

The first officer looked at his captain with what could only be described as Vulcan befuddlement.

"Trust me."

"I assumed my trust in you was implicit, Captain."

Sometimes, when Spock would say things with that look in his eyes, it managed to take Jim's breath away. This was one of those times. He turned away from Spock and walked back onto the bridge, hoping his face wasn't as flushed as it felt. One look from Uhura was all he needed to know it was every bit as flushed as it felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I’ve never done an Author’s Note before but I wanted to let you know – this story is complete and it’s just a matter of me uploading the chapters, which I’ve been doing fairly consistently M, W, and F. However, I’ll be traveling intermittently from August through December, with the spotty wi-fi that affords so I’d like to get the rest of this story out to you before I leave. From here till the end of the month, I’ll be posting every day, Monday through Friday. That should mean we’ll be done by July 31. Please feel free to comment and review – I genuinely love hearing from you. This is my first foray into fan fiction since my teens (oh, the good old days of writing out X-Files plots in my notebook during class). So if you haven’t commented before, I’d love to hear from you – if you’re a regular commenter, keep it up, and if you don’t want to say anything, that’s okay too. It’s not like I’ll hold the story hostage or anything. Thanks so much for taking this journey with me and I hope you enjoy the rest!


	106. Chapter 106

McCoy had a touch of cabin fever. It had been two days since his return to the Enterprise and he'd spent almost all of that time pacing the floor of his quarters, wondering what his fate would be.

His door chimed and he granted access, expecting to see Jim or Spock; the only two people who had visited him since his arrival back from Vorkos. Jim had been by several times – in his first visit, they'd both apologized to one another for allowing the situation to end up where it had. His next visits had focused on what they could do to ensure McCoy wouldn't receive censure from Starfleet. Spock had been by to apologize and McCoy had tolerated it, knowing somewhere deep inside that the Vulcan meant well even if he still kinda wanted to punch the stupid bangs off his stupid face. So he'd expected one or both of them to be at the door, with news that Command wanted to meet with him. But instead, he saw Sabine in the doorframe. She hesitated before entering and flinched ever-so-slightly when the doors closed behind her.

"You shouldn't be here," he said to her, not wanting to make the situation any worse by getting caught with his "victim" in his quarters.

"I am off medical confinement," she replied.

"Still not a good idea for you to be here," he retorted.

"I made a horrible mistake," she said in a rush, needing him to know she realized the error she'd committed in her delirious state.

"How could you think I'd do something like that to you?" he asked her, not bothering to mask the hurt in his voice or his eyes.

"You were furious when I came aboard. You refused to so much as look at me for our first six months together on this ship."

He closed his eyes in shame as he thought about the first part of her stint aboard the ship. He had been awful to her and she hadn't deserved it. She continued.

"You made it clear that you did not trust me and thought it was a mistake to let me anywhere near the Enterprise. I was certain we would never be friends again. When we started talking to one another again, I kept waiting to find out it was a dream or ruse. But it was not. You showed me kindness despite all your misgivings. You have become one of my closest friends. Of everyone on this ship, you are the one I rely on most. And now, whatever friendship we had, I have ruined," she said in despair, looking down in shame.

"Is that what you think?" he asked. McCoy crossed the room so that he stood before her. Unlike the last time he'd seen her, she did not avoid his gaze or try to flee him. If anything she moved just a bit closer.

"Do you honestly believe I would end our friendship because of something you did while you were out of your mind with fever?" he asked her, his eyes piercing hers. "You do realize our friendship means as much to me as it does to you, right?"

She blushed and moved away from him in an effort to hide her desire. Sabine thought back to the incident with the Orion engineer and her abusive boyfriend. He could have had her thrown from the ship for beating the young man. But he hadn't. She had mouthed off to him several times and almost none of that insubordination was in her records. He had tried to shield her in med bay during the Romulan attack. And there were countless missions, when he'd gone before her, even while refusing to talk to her, because he didn't want her to get hurt.

"I am so sorry," she sighed sadly. "I do not know why I was so convinced you had done me any harm. At your worst, you always did right by me, even when you did not want to."

She looked over to him, seeing the sadness in his eyes. She'd wanted to go to Vorkos to help, to make sure the mission was successful and quick. Instead, she'd made things worse, ultimately leaving him with all the work.

"I should have stayed away from Vorkos," she admitted softly. "I knew it was a risk to go down there."

He stared at her hard before he spoke, as if wrestling with something inside himself.

"You told me our first day about your past," he replied. "I knew then that you'd likely have a compromised immune system. I should have sent you back but I didn't. I swore I would protect you. But I made a decision to let you stay down there with me, because I liked having you there – you knew how to use the equipment…and I wanted you with me. It was selfish and I'm sorry. If I did wrong by you, it was letting you stay when I should have sent you back the first day."

As they'd conversed, they had moved progressively closer. The tone of his voice and the way he was looking at her were both affecting her more than she was willing to admit. If she wanted (and she very much did), she could reach out and touch him. And if the urge didn't subside, she was going to make herself sit on her hands.

"You needed my help when you got shot," she replied. "And who would have taught you how to shave if I had not been there?" A faint smile played on her lips. He gave her a small grin in return then became serious again.

"When I realized how sick you were, I asked Jim to transport you back here so M'Benga could treat you. If I hadn't, you woulda surely died and… I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

She could see the fear and hurt in his eyes. Fear of losing her, hurt that she'd believed he'd wanted her dead. It was not helping her resist the desire to caress his face. She bit the inside of her cheek to distract herself from how much she wanted him.

He stepped closer and reached out, cupping her chin in his hand. "Tell me you believe me – tell me you know I didn't inject you with the virus," His gaze was intense and unyielding; his touch warm and tender.

"I believe you. You did not give me the virus. I know you would not hurt me," she whispered, her heart pounding. She brought her hands to his face, caressing his cheeks.

He held her chin in his hand for a beat and she held her breath, anticipating a kiss as he lifted her face to his and wrapped his other arm around her waist. But in the internal struggle he was waging with himself, rationality, professionalism, and his continued distrust of his feelings for her won out. He released her face, let go of her waist, and stepped away, avoiding her eyes. Her hands dropped to her sides.

"I should leave," her voice louder than she meant it to be. She stopped and took a breath, speaking more softly, "I need to find the captain and let him know I wish to revise my statement regarding what happened on Vorkos."

"You don't have to do that," he replied, grabbing her hand as she turned away from him. The contact stopped her in her tracks and she turned slowly to him.

"You protected and took care of me. I will not have you removed from practice because of my own mistakes. Unless you want your license suspended and your time in Starfleet – on this ship – to be over?"

"I don't want that," he replied with haunted eyes.

"Then let me do what I can to help," she said, moving to leave his quarters.

"Latour," he called out as she reached the door. She turned to him expectantly. "Thank you."

"Of course," she said quietly, giving him a nod. "This is what friends do, yes?"

He nodded in return and then she was gone, determined to find Jim and right the wrongs from their time planet-side.

* * *

"Well, that was faster than even I expected," Jim stated as Sabine entered the bridge. She looked at him in confusion.

"You owe me fifty credits," he remarked to Spock, getting up from his chair.

"Captain, I did not make a bet with you," the first officer protested without looking away from the science console.

"Yeah, you did. I bet you fifty credits we'd see Latour by the end of the day. Pay up whenever," Jim replied, heading to the anteroom just to the left side of the bridge. He motioned for Sabine to join him and she gave him a look. One that said, "Whatever shit you are stirring, I remain unimpressed."

"I do not understand nor particularly care for this entire 'betting' business," Spock muttered, still not looking up from his readings. Uhura and Sulu laughed.

"You don't like eet now, but you will love eet when you win," Chekov chirped.

"Sulu, you've got the conn," Jim called out behind him as he ushered Sabine into the anteroom.

"What is this bet all about?" she asked him coldly once they were alone.

"Don't be mad," Jim cajoled. "I just made a little wager with Spock that you'd work things out with McCoy if we released you from medical confinement. That is what you're here to tell me, right? You want to change your complaint?"

Sabine didn't know if she wanted to laugh or punch Jim in the face. She considered doing both.

"Your best friend is in solitary confinement, facing certain ruin of his career, and you are here joking about bets with Spock?" She decided a guilt trip was the better route.

"Oh come on, Sabs. You're not gonna let him get kicked out of Starfleet, are you?" Something about the steely look in her eyes gave Jim a moment of pause. Had he been wrong?

"No," she replied, unamused. "I am not going to let Doctor McCoy be punished for no good reason. But I will make you pay for being so cavalier."

Jim had no doubt Sabine could cook up some delicious form of revenge and he couldn't wait to see what shenanigans she came up with.

"I look forward to your next move, Doctor. Now about that complaint…"

They reviewed her previous statement and she changed it, careful to word her new complaint so that it was focused on the treatment she'd received from some of the ruder Vorksoans. Starfleet couldn't do anything about her complaints against the Vorkosans but it would take attention away from McCoy.

"Will this work?" she asked Jim upon finishing the new version of her complaint. He perused it.

"That'll do nicely, Latour. And seriously, thank you," he said with genuine gratitude.

"I am not doing this for you, to be clear," she said, still annoyed by what she'd witnessed on the bridge. Was everyone there in on the bet? She'd have a serious chat with Ny later.

"Yeah, I know. I have a feeling if it were me instead of Bones, you might just let me hang," he replied with a friendly smirk.

"It would certainly be tempting," she retorted.

"How are things with you two?" he asked, shifting into serious mode. Jim could slide in and out of moods at a rate Sabine found dizzying sometimes.

"Things are fine," her reply was cagey. Was this question related to another bet?

"Latour, I'm asking as your captain, not the resident smartass," Jim countered.

"How am I to know the difference?" she shot back.

"Point taken. I'm sorry about what I said on the bridge."

"Are you all placing bets on us? Is that what this is to you? A game?"

"We're not ALL putting bets on you." Jim decided to not mention the over/under on Sabine and Bones getting together was currently the most discussed and lucrative bet on the ship. He got the feeling she would not take it well.

They talked a few minutes more about McCoy's coincidental discovery of Sabine's past. Jim was disappointed to find out the doctor still didn't remember the truth but he was glad he had spoken with Sabine first about it. Now he knew to continue being careful around Bones.


	107. Chapter 107

"Did you know?" Sabine asked McCoy, her eyes dark with anger.

"About the bets? Sure. It's a starship. Ninety percent of the time, we're all bored out of our gourds and then ten percent of the time, we're worried sick for our lives. The bets help alleviate the tension and the boredom."

The two doctors were in his office (it had been almost eleven months of sharing an office and she still thought of it as his). Due to her modified complaint, Jim had released McCoy from his quarters. The ship had left the Vorkos orbit to regroup with Cass and the shuttle they'd sent her. Sabine had shown up in a righteous fury for her med bay shift. Without so much as a knock, she'd burst into the office (which, of course, was her right but they'd both grown so accustomed to her hesitancy in disturbing him that he'd instantly wondered what was wrong). She filled him in on what had taken place when she'd gone to Jim to revise her statement. It was a day later and she was as angry as she'd been on the bridge. McCoy was impressed and slightly concerned for Jim – he wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of Sabine's ire.

"I knew about the bets in general," Sabine replied, annoyed. "What I meant was: Did you know they bet on us?"

"Not specifically, and I can't say I'm wild about it, but the more upset you get, the more they'll do it."

She frowned at him.

"Look, why are you so mad about this? It's stupid. They aren't being malicious – just idiotic."

When he put it that way, she didn't have a good answer. She was upset because whatever they shared, the two of them, it was important to her. She didn't know what they were to one another. 'Friends' was what they called it but she had never stopped loving him. And increasingly, he'd say something or touch her in a certain way and she'd wonder if he still felt it too – like yesterday when she'd been so sure he was going to kiss her. What if it was all in her head? What if she wanted him so badly, she was making things up that weren't there? This was why she didn't want 400 some pairs of prying eyes watching their every move. God, it had taken so long to get to this point and she still wasn't convinced she wouldn't blow it somehow.

"I…I just do not like people interfering," she said feebly, unwilling to tell him exactly why she was so upset.

McCoy glanced at the doors. After she'd had come storming in, he'd told the computer to close and lock them, worried for the unsuspecting nurse who'd walk in on an angry Sabine. But since they had some privacy…

"I don't mean to change the subject…," he began, looking up at her. She was seated on his desk and he was in his chair. It was a rare treat to be the shorter one, he decided. She nodded at him to continue.

"I wanted to thank you, again, for what you did." He watched her as she shifted and leaned towards him, her hands braced against the edge of the desk.

"I owe you an apology," she replied, her eyes locked on his. "I should not have doubted you for a moment."

"Well, that was the delirium," he scoffed.

"Yes, but still – I am sorry," she countered. "The least I could do was ensure you would not be chastised by Starfleet."

They looked at each other for a beat. McCoy decided he'd go for it. He leaned forward, ready to stand up and move towards Sabine.

"Now that we have dealt with that," she started, causing him to sit back with an internal groan, "can we discuss how to exact revenge on Jim?"

"Revenge?" He was momentarily confused then it hit him. "What? For the bet?"

"Of course," she replied, looking at him like he was simple. McCoy rolled his eyes. She was going to make this hard for him. Fine, he could handle this. Just needed to get the conversation back towards how much they meant to each other.

"Do not roll your eyes. Surely you want payback against Jim for something?"

"Yeah, sure. But that's not the impor –"

"What if we programmed his replicators to only serve Cardassian spiders?"

"Latour –"

"Or we could get the access codes to his room from Scotty or Chekov and mess around with his stuff…"

"Sabine, I'm trying to tell you some –"

"What if we shoot him with a hypo – nonlethal of course – but one that would give him an embarrassing reaction?"

"Wait? You wanna inject Jim with something after what we just went through? Did you learn nothing from the past few days? It's way too soon to joke about injections!" McCoy stared at Sabine in disbelief as she stared at the floor in shame. At least he'd gotten her to stop talking. He sighed. This would have to do.

"Besides," he murmured, standing up from his chair and taking a step so that he was right in front of her. "I'd like to focus on something more important."

She looked up at him in confusion. "What? What is more important than humiliating Jim?"

"A lot of things. But right now? You," he said in a low voice, bringing his hand up to her face and brushing her hair away from her cheek. She froze and he wondered if he'd misread things in his quarters yesterday. He'd been seconds away from kissing her and stopped. He didn't intend to stop this time but what if he'd been reading her wrong and she didn't want it? He faltered but then she brought her hand up to his hand and pressed it against her cheek.

They were silent as they drew closer to one another. He wrapped his other arm around her back and she spread her legs slightly so that he could move in towards her. Sabine's stomach was in knots and she wondered if you could die from nervous anticipation. She didn't have to wait long enough to find out.

"Leo," she breathed, just before their lips touched. He kissed her gingerly at first, as though afraid he might break her or she might disappear. But as she remained in his arms and allowed the kiss to continue, he lost any hesitancy and kissed her hungrily.

His lips were just as Sabine remembered them and they fit together as well as they ever had. She threw her arms around his shoulders, her fingers on the nape of his neck, playing with his hair. As the kisses deepened, they pulled one another closer. A sigh of contentment escaped Sabine as they came up for air. McCoy smiled as he pulled away for a moment to look at her.

"Hadn't planned to jump you like that but you wouldn't shut up about pranks," he mumbled, touching her face softly with his hand.

"My bad. This is certainly better than any prank," she replied softly, her lips just millimeters from his.

"I shoulda done it yesterday but I lost my nerve."

"Mmm," she responded, his mouth preventing her from further articulation. His lips were on hers again and she allowed him entrance, opening her mouth to his and letting his tongue find hers. As they kissed, Sabine shivered when a sudden thrill rushed through her.

"Cold?" McCoy asked between kisses.

"No," she whispered back. "Just excited." Their mouths met again before he pulled away and held her face in his hands, staring intently into her eyes.

"You're okay with what's happening here?" he asked her, pretty certain he knew the answer but nonetheless wanting to be perfectly clear on the transition from friends to something more. She smiled widely at him – not the half-smirk she so often gave but a full smile that lit up her entire face.

"Oh yes," she replied. "More than okay." McCoy returned Sabine's wide smile with one of his own and she felt another quiver run through her, almost not believing what was happening. She'd been so certain so many times that they would never reach this point again but here he was, looking at her the same way he'd looked at her when they were together at the Academy.

"This is real," she said with no small amount of awe.

"Yeah," he replied, brushing his thumb across her lips, his eyes never leaving hers. "It's real. I've been fighting it for months, but I can't deny how I feel about you any longer. I might be a damned idiot for it, but I love you, Sabine."

She was shocked. As their friendship had blossomed, she had found herself hoping, then suspecting, he still had deeper feelings for her but she would never have imagined he would admit it to her so freely.

"I love you too," she told him with wide eyes. She didn't miss the small flicker of doubt that passed through his hazel eyes. A part of her was still not sure this was the wisest move – shouldn't she attempt to trigger his memories before they got romantically involved? But that part was easy to turn off. It had been agony resisting this attraction for so long and besides, she would ask him over dinner tonight about the ring and this time, it would work – it had to.

As he skimmed his lips down her neck, she sighed. "Please believe me. I love you so much." His lips found that spot at the base of her neck which had always elicited a reaction from her and she moaned softly. He pulled away again.

"I wanna believe you. More than anything. Prove to me I'm not wrong to trust you this time," he said in a low voice, his eyes fixed on hers. She nodded her assent.

"If it takes the rest of our lives, I will win your trust," she swore to him.

"Don't think it'll take that long, darlin'. Took you less than a year on this ship to get me to admit how crazy I am for you," he replied with a smirk.

He pulled her off the desk and she stood before him, reaching out and placing her hands on his chest, enjoying the sensation of his chest rising and falling with each breath he took. His arms circled her waist and she stepped closer to him, tilting her face up towards his. Their lips met again. Sabine stood on her tiptoes and touched his cheek with her bare hand, allowing just a sliver of an emotional connection between them, and pushing her contentment and pleasure through it. McCoy pulled her even more tightly to him as he felt her emotions, while sharing his in return. For a moment, there was nothing but the feel of their bodies against one another, the sound of their breath, the taste of each other. It was like coming back home after years away. There were, perhaps, little changes but the familiarity of each other's bodies, of the way they angled themselves to fit perfectly together –

"Bones! You there?" Jim's voice boomed through the office and McCoy groaned as he reluctantly pulled away from Sabine. She gave him a bemused look as he held his finger to his lips.

"What do you want, Jim?" he replied through the comm.

"I need you on the bridge. We're getting scans for a vessel – I think it's Cass's, but we aren't picking up on any life signs. Our shuttle is nowhere to be found either."

The smile disappeared from Sabine's lips.

"I'm on my way," McCoy responded grimly. He stepped away from the comm and looked over at Sabine. Her face was ashen.

"Nothing's confirmed yet," he said softly. "I'll let you know what I find out."

McCoy wanted to bring her with him to the bridge. He knew how much Cass and Sabine meant to each other, their disagreement aside. But Sabine was the doctor on duty currently. She nodded at him and grabbed her lab coat.

"If you need me –" she began.

"I'll comm you, I promise," he said, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards him. They embraced quickly, then left the office, headed to their respective locations.


	108. Chapter 108

"We're gonna transport over and see what we find," Jim said grimly.

"Should Latour go in my place?" McCoy asked.

Jim considered the change before coming to a decision. "No. If we get over there and it's bad…" He didn't have to finish the thought.

"Spock, Bones, you're with me. Sulu, you have the conn," Jim ordered, heading to the bridge exit. He turned to Uhura. "Keep monitoring for the shuttle and let me know if you find it."

"Yes, Captain," she replied.

The three men made their way to the transporter room where Scotty met them.

"Cap'n," the Scotsman said in greeting, giving a quick nod.

"Mister Scott, can you get us over there without the cruiser's entrance code?" Every vessel had a code that would be given to those trying to beam aboard. The codes were what prevented just anyone from beaming aboard a ship. Starfleet ships had one another's codes stored within their computers, making transporting from one Starfleet vessel to another easy. But Cass had a commercial cruiser. That was a different story altogether.

"Aye, Captain. I can get you aboard the cruiser. There's an override for that class of cruiser. I already tested it with supply cases – sent them over and back."

"Wait, so we're beaming over without the code?" McCoy grumbled. He already hated transporters under the best of circumstances and it was of no comfort to him that some inanimate objects had made it there and back.

"What choice do we have?" Jim retorted.

"Doctor, the chances of a transporter malfunct –"

"I don't want to hear it, Spock."

The three men climbed the stairs of the platform and assumed their positions. Within seconds, they all felt and heard the familiar tingle of the transporter beam.

* * *

Cass's ship was dark when they materialized on it. The power had been cut to everything but the life support system. Jim went to the control panel to see if he could get the power restored while Spock and McCoy took out portable lights from their utility belts and began to search the small ship for any sign of life.

They had transported to the supply hold because it was the largest part of Cass's vessel. McCoy moved slowly out of the hold and into the ship's living area. Spock took a moment to observe all the supply cases, looking for any sign of tampering. Everything seemed to be in order so he followed McCoy out of the hold. Jim continued to work on the controls. The panel within the hold contained almost everything that the controls at the front of the ship would have, minus some navigational options. But it appeared the ship's controls had been locked, again something that could only be done by a unique code. This time, Jim was pretty sure Scotty wouldn't be able to override the system. He continued to attempt his bypass when he heard McCoy call out to him.

"Jim! She's here!" Jim left the panel and followed the direction he'd heard McCoy shout from. He found both Spock and McCoy kneeling beside an unconscious Cass.

"How is she?" he asked, concern in his eyes. She had a nasty cut on her forehead and bruises on her face and arms. She'd put up a fight, if he had to guess. McCoy looked up at him.

"She's alive," he said with relief. "Though something is jamming my tricorder. I can't get a good read on her."

"But you know she's alive?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, I can feel her pulse. We need to get her back to med bay."

"Doctor," Spock began, "I sense no telepathic signal from her."

McCoy instantly had a bad feeling. Hell, this whole situation gave him the creeps but he remembered the attack on Sabine. Cass had told him somewhere along the way that her telepathic signal had been cut off too. He pulled out his communicator while moving so that Spock could try to meld with the unconscious telepath in front of them.

"McCoy to Latour," he spoke into the device.

"Yes?" she replied, her voice staticky.

"Cass is here. She's alive. But Spock can't feel her telepathic signal." He looked at Spock and the Vulcan shook his head to confirm he'd been unable to establish a meld with Cass.

"He can't meld with her," he added.

"It is them," Sabine responded. "The same people who attacked me."

Before they could continue their conversation, Uhura commed Jim.

"Captain, we have contact with the shuttle. They are returning to this location. All crew members are accounted for. They say they received a distress signal from another ship and decided to investigate. Cass agreed to stay here and wait for the Enterprise. When they got to the source of the distress beacon, nothing was there so they came back."

"Thanks, Uhura," Jim replied. He looked at the two men with him. "Sounds like a set-up. They drew the shuttle away, leaving Cass alone for the attack."

"Jim, I gotta get her back to the Enterprise," McCoy interrupted. "I can't use any of my instruments in here and I don't like the look of that cut." He gestured to Cass's forehead. Jim nodded.

"Okay," he agreed, flipping his communicator open. "Scotty, beam up McCoy and have someone from med bay there to help him." Spock helped McCoy pick Cass up off the ground and McCoy held her body in his arms as he waited to feel the tingle of the transporter beam.

* * *

Latour had sent a nurse with a gurney to the transporter room on the Enterprise and McCoy accompanied the nurse back to med bay, Cass still unconscious. Jim and Spock stayed on the cruiser to gather more information about what may have happened. They couldn't access the cruiser's holovids or any of the log records. Spock beamed back to the ship and Scotty took his place on the cruiser, working with Jim to see if they could access anything. They determined they would have to wait for Cass to regain consciousness so she could give them the code.

Meanwhile, in med bay, Sabine was ready for McCoy and Cass. They immediately wheeled Cass into one of the surgical rooms. McCoy scanned her and they went to work healing the cut and other bruises and abrasions she had received. Sabine ran a slew of tests to determine if there was any other damage to Cass's person. After, she was placed in a biobed to recover and Sabine took a seat next to her.

It was a waiting game for the next several hours. The shuttle and its crew returned to the Enterprise and briefed Jim and Spock on what had transpired. Everything had been normal up until they received the distress call. But Cass had not commed them so they'd had no idea she was in danger until the Enterprise contacted them. The Enterprise pulled Cass's cruiser in with a tractor beam so Scotty could continue to play with its systems, hoping to find a method to bypass the lock-out while they waited for Cass to awaken.

As day turned to night on the ship, both McCoy and Sabine stayed past the end of their shifts. They wanted to be there when Cass woke up. McCoy watched as Sabine sat beside her old friend, working on PADD reports and other paperwork but looking up every couple of minutes, hoping to see a change in Cass's status.

"You should get something to eat," McCoy prodded Sabine, his hand on her shoulder.

"I know. But I am not hungry," she replied, looking up at him.

"Figured you'd say that. Drink this," he countered, handing her a glass with a murky substance in it. Sabine smiled. She knew what it was. The liquid contained all the major nutrients a body needed. It tasted fine and they commonly used it on away missions to desserted or uninhabited planets, where food might be scarce, or when working double shifts in the med bay without time to get away. She drank it quickly and handed him the glass back.

"Satisfied?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied, taking a quick look around to see that no one was watching. The coast was clear so he ran his fingers through her hair and she looked up at him as she caught his hand and held it for a moment. She brought his hand to her lips and gave the back of it a quick kiss before releasing it. They both continued their vigil.

Around 3am, just as Sabine was starting to drift off in her chair, she heard a stirring in the bed beside her. McCoy was alerted by an alarm on his PADD in his office that Cass's status was changing and he came running out. Both doctors stood over her bed as she twitched in her sleep. Suddenly, her eyes snapped open.

"Cass," Sabine said softly, reaching out to touch the other telepath's arm.

But Cass didn't know where she was. She was panicked and thrashed around in the biobed.

"Get off," she yelled, swinging at an invisible enemy. "Let go of me!"

McCoy grabbed a hypo while Sabine tried to align herself within Cass's line of vision so that Cass would see she was in a safe place. But Cass's eyes, while open, were unseeing. Sabine tried to grab her flailing arms and the other telepath fought against her.

"Hold her still for a second," McCoy demanded.

"Trying," Sabine replied as she struggled with the other woman.

McCoy managed to get to Cass's side and press the hypo against her neck. In a moment, she fell back into a peaceful sleep. The two doctors looked at one another across her bed.

"Hopefully, when she wakes from the sedative, she'll be calmer," McCoy speculated. Sabine looked down at Cass with a crease in her brow.

"Was it like that for you when you woke up?" he asked her softly.

"I am not sure," she replied thoughtfully. "I do not remember much. Just waking up in a hospital with Cass and Aubrey there. I do not know if I woke up before that."

They both looked at the now-sleeping telepath in the bed between them.

"What the hell are they doing to you guys? And who are they?" McCoy growled.

"I wish I knew," Sabine whispered.

* * *

When Cass woke up the second time, an hour later, the two doctors were still by her bedside, McCoy having dragged his own chair over to keep watch with Sabine. He got up cautiously as Cass began to stir again and hovered over her as she opened her eyes slowly.

"Hey," he murmured as she looked at him. "How you feeling?"

"You mean besides waking up to your ugly mug?" she asked, wincing as she tried to sit up.

"Nice to see you too," McCoy retorted. Sabine suppressed a smile as she moved to the other side of the bed.

Cass saw the movement out of the corner of her eye and turned slightly to face Sabine.

"Hi," she said hesitantly.

"It is good to see you awake," Sabine replied with a tentative smile.

"How long was I out?" Cass asked both doctors and they shared a look with each other before answering her.

"Unclear," McCoy answered. "Probably somewhere between 18 and 24 hours, based on when the shuttle left to answer the distress beacon and when we found you."

Cass turned to Sabine. "I don't remember anything. Is this…," she couldn't finish her question. Sabine nodded her head sadly.

"We think so, yes."

Cass's eyes widened. She tried to reach out to Sabine but it hit her that she couldn't do anything with her mind. She suddenly realized she couldn't feel the emotions of the two people next to her and she gripped the sheets covering her tightly.

"I can't use my telepathy right now," she gasped, feeling a panic seize her. "I can't feel you guys right now."

"It will come back," Sabine said, touching Cass's arm softly. "Remember? It came back for me."

Cass looked at Sabine with alarm. "Did they do the same thing to me they did to you?" She looked down at herself and Sabine understood what she was asking.

"No," she said, grateful to be able to give at least some good news. "We ran tests while you were out and there was no sign of sexual assault."

"But that doesn't mean anything, does it? Your tests were negative too," Cass said to Sabine.

Sabine's smile faltered. "Mine were inconclusive. They said it could have gone either way. As of right now, we do not believe you were sexually assaulted," she said softly.

"Take a couple of breaths, Cass," McCoy counseled her, looking at his PADD. "Your vitals are way off."

"You think?" she replied to him. "I just told you I can't do anything with my mind. I have no idea how I got here or what happened to me. The last thing I remember….." She trailed off.

"What?" Sabine asked her intently. "What do you remember?"

Cass looked over at Sabine. "I was gonna say the last thing I remember was watching the shuttle take off towards the distress beacon but that's not true. I remember…." She struggled for a second and McCoy came around the bed to stand by Sabine. "I remember Aubrey," she finally said, looking at both doctors. "I felt her – she was there…"

"On the ship with you?" McCoy asked.

"I don't know. Maybe? I felt her with my mind," Cass said, frustrated. "I don't know, guys. It's all dark."

"Do not push it," Sabine said, patting Cass's arm again. "Let it come. Rest for now, okay? You are safe, your ship is safe."

"Speaking of," McCoy added, stepping around Sabine and putting his hand on her back briefly while doing so, "Your ship is in lock-down mode right now. We found it that way. We can't access the holovid or any of your logs."

Cass laid back and stared at him in confusion. "Why would I have done that?" she asked in bewilderment.

"We don't know," he replied. "But it would be good if we could get the code from you and access that information. We found you on the ship, unconscious, and we're hoping the holovid especially will show us what happened."

"Right," she replied, still confused by what he'd told her. She gave him the code and he stepped away from the bed, and through the privacy curtains to comm Jim with the needed information.

"Cass, are you okay if I try to read you, to see if there's anything I can learn about what happened?" Sabine asked gently once they were alone.

Cass looked over at her. "You haven't done that already? What are you waiting for?"

"I wanted your permission," Sabine answered simply.

"Yeah, yeah. Go for it," Cass responded.

Sabine touched the other telepath again and attempted to look at her memories of the last 24 hours but there was nothing. She did see how, at the edge of remembered thought, Cass had felt Aubrey and spun around in her chair expecting to see her sister. But then everything was black until Cass awoke from the sedative.

"You woke up once before," Sabine told Cass, feeding her own memory of the incident through to the Betazoid. "We sedated you because you did not recognize you were awake and here."

"I don't remember that at all," Cass said, exasperated.

"Give it time," Sabine replied, closing the connection and releasing her hand from Cass's arm.

Cass closed her eyes. "I'm so tired," she sighed.

"Sleep," Sabine recommended. "We will be here if you need anything."

Sabine said nothing about the other thing she'd learned while reading Cass's mind. Because Cass was disoriented, her thoughts and emotions were jumbled up, all coming to the surface during the read. While most of what she'd seen had been expected, Sabine had not anticipated Cass's feelings for Varik. She'd had no idea they'd been so close. She hoped she could find a way, later, to talk to Cass about what had happened with the other Betazoid. In the meantime, she felt slightly guilty for having the knowledge now. She imagined Cass hadn't wanted her to know, otherwise, why had she never said anything about him? Sabine realized she had spent too much time assuming Cass only had eyes for McCoy. She should never have been so harsh with her friend. Sabine hoped they would be able to resolve their issues once Cass was back on her feet.

Cass slept for another few hours and Alpha shift began, making it a double shift for McCoy. He'd been able to catch some sleep in his office after Cass had gone back to sleep herself but Sabine had stayed awake the entire time and as much as he tried to persuade her to go back to her quarters and get some sleep before coming back for Beta shift, she stubbornly refused. He did finally convince her to at least lie down on the couch in the office as he made starting rounds. Her condition for agreeing was that he had to come get her as soon as Cass woke up again. He agreed wearily, wondering how he was going to survive putting up with two pig-headed telepaths in med bay for the next little bit.

* * *

"Ach noh! The damn holovid's been corrupted, Cap'n," Scotty called out to Jim as the two men worked on separate parts of the ship to collect information regarding who had attacked Cass and how.

"And the log's been erased too," Jim grumbled from the helm of the cruiser.

"Whoever did this did not want anyone to find them," Scotty mused.

"Can you fix it?" Jim asked the engineer.

"Which one?"

"Both. The holovid and the log?"

"Ah dinnae ken," Scotty replied, distracted by the panel he was poking at. "I'll do the best I can, sir."

* * *

Cass awoke again and McCoy greeted her.

"I remember more," she said softly, looking around. "Where's Sabs?"

"Hold on, I'll get her," McCoy replied, moving towards his office.

Inside, Sabine was passed out. She had sprawled across the couch, her right arm thrown up over the back of the couch and her left arm hanging off the seat's edge. Her mouth was open and she was snoring. Having spent over three weeks in the same room with her on Vorkos, McCoy knew this wasn't her typical sleep style but he'd tried sleeping on that couch before and knew it didn't lend itself to comfortable napping. All the same, he was so very tempted to take a holo of her and show it to her later on – she'd be mortified. Instead he sat down beside her and gave her a gentle shake on the shoulder. She instantly awoke.

"Huh?" she mumbled, wiping her mouth and sitting up.

"It's a credit to you that you're still cute when you snore," McCoy teased. Sabine turned a crimson color.

"I was snoring?"

"And drooling, it looks like," McCoy added with something very close to glee.

She shot him a look. "I must have been more tired than I thought."

"Cass is awake," McCoy said, changing the subject. "And she asked for you."

Sabine gave him a small push so she could get off the couch. "Why did you not start with that?"

She looked up at him as she stood. "You coming?" She tugged on her uniform to straighten it out and ran her hands through her hair as she moved to the door.

"After you," he murmured, trying not to to enjoy the view too much. She stopped and turned to him right before leaving the office and McCoy almost ran into her.

"She has her abilities back," Sabine said to McCoy. "I can feel her signal again."

"That's good, right?" he replied.

"Yes, I think so." She turned back around and made her way over to Cass's biobed, McCoy following close behind.

"You are back in action," Sabine said to Cass happily.

"Yeah, and I remembered a little bit more," the other telepath replied, holding her hand up. It would take less out of her for Sabine to reach out than for her to reach into Sabine's mind. Sabine pressed her hand to Cass's and took a look at what Cass wanted to show her. Her smile faded and her brow wrinkled.

"But how?"

"I don't know. You feel it though, right?"

"Yes. That is Aubrey."

"But not…" Cass said in confusion.

"She would never let someone use her mind like that," Sabine whispered.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" McCoy interrupted in irritation, from behind Sabine.

Cass looked at him as she and Sabine broke off contact.

"The person who attacked me was a man," she began. "But…"

"He had Aubrey – her mind – inside his own," Sabine said softly, completing the thought Cass couldn't bring herself to say.

McCoy moved past Sabine, gently placing his hand on her back as he maneuvered around her to get closer to Cass.

"So what are you saying?" he asked her.

"We're telling you that Aubrey was there, in someone else's mind. That's why I felt her at the start."

"And possibly how the logs and holovid ended up locked," Sabine speculated. "Aubrey would have known the codes, right?"

Cass nodded slowly.

"Jim is gonna want to hear this," McCoy grumbled, leaving the two women to access the comm and request the captain's presence in med bay.

While he was gone, Cass looked at Sabine.

"You two are together again," she said simply, not asking a question.

Sabine just nodded.

"And he still doesn't remember the truth?" Cass asked, a touch of incredulousness in her voice.

"No, not entirely," Sabine replied, her own conflicting emotions about McCoy's lack of memory and their current relationship floating to the surface for Cass to read. A moment later, they were gone as Sabine remembered her own bit of information.

"Cass, when I read you earlier," she began uncertainly.

"Oh balls, what'd you see?" Cass asked with rolled eyes.

"Agent Varik," Sabine said softly. "I had no idea…"

"Yeah, uh, it wasn't something I really wanted to talk about after he died and before that…well, it was so new, you know?"

"I am so sorry," Sabine murmured and Cass could feel the emotions leaking out of her friend. The apology wasn't just for Varik's loss. It was for Sabine's role in their fight, for the fact that Aubrey was out there, somewhere, being used as a tool, most likely against her will. It was for Sabine'a assumptions about Cass and McCoy. Cass winced, the emotions too much for her to take so soon after regaining her abilities. Sabine saw her reaction and put a lid on her feelings, ashamed to be overwhelming her friend just because she felt bad for her poor life choices.

Before either woman could say another thing, McCoy returned with both Jim and Spock in tow.

"If it's not too much for ya," he said to Cass while eyeing her vitals on the monitor above the bed, "Can you explain to these two what you showed Latour about Aubrey?"

"Okay," Cass sighed, launching into a verbal description of the memory she'd shared with Sabine.

When she was done, Jim whistled while Spock pondered something in silence. He finally spoke.

"If I understand you correctly, you believe someone has manipulated your sister into allowing them access to her katra?"

Cass and Sabine thought about it.

"Yeah, I guess so," Cass replied. "We don't call it a katra in our culture, but yes. Someone is running around with Aubrey's spirit."

"And Aubrey would never agree to something like that," Sabine added. "She can hardly tolerate simple telepathic sharing – there is no way she would let someone have access to all of her."

"She's right," Cass agreed. "Aubrey's pretty undisciplined when it comes to her powers. She's a strong telepath but she doesn't know how to use what she has."

"Which means she is very insecure about letting others in," Sabine added. Neither woman felt it necessary to explain that Aubrey had a history of abuse she would want to keep hidden as well.

"Cass, you don't remember anything about the man that could help us identify him?" Jim asked his friend hopefully.

Cass shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, Jim. I just know it was a man but I can't see any of his features in my mind. Not yet."

"You may never remember more than what you have now," Sabine said softly. She had never gained a clearer picture of her attacker – the only way she'd figured out who he might be had been based on her feelings when looking at the picture of Agent Tapper – and who was to say whether she was even right about that?

Jim looked around the group. "We have to hope Scotty can repair the logs and holovid. It's the only way we'll have to figure out who might have done this."

Jim and Spock left and Sabine took a nurse's request for assistance, leaving Cass and McCoy alone.

"How long are you guys gonna keep me here?" she asked him as he looked over her charts on his PADD.

"Why? You gotta big date or something?" he teased her before getting serious. "I'd be inclined to keep you here another night but your vitals are fine and I know how you hate staying in med bay."

"So I can leave today?"

"Yeah, later, after rounds are finished, but I want you to avoid too much exertion, okay? No working out for now. Just relax."

"I can do that. Is it okay if we do dinner?"

"Who?" he asked, confused initially. "You and me?"

"Yeah. It's tradition, right?" she replied.

"Sure," he responded. "We can do dinner."

* * *

Later, when he and Sabine were alone in his office, McCoy broached the topic of dinner with Cass.

"Are you okay if I go to dinner with Cass tonight?" he asked her bluntly, never one for beating around the bushes. Sabine looked up from her PADD in surprise.

"Of course," she replied, mildly flustered that he was seeking her permission and that her own plan to have dinner with him was being disrupted again. "You two are friends. Why would you not go to dinner?"

"I just wanna make sure you don't think anything is going on there," McCoy replied.

Sabine looked at him with softness in her eyes. "We have to trust one another," she said. "If you want to go to dinner with other women, I have to trust that you do so out of friendship."

They stared at one another for a beat.

Sabine finally spoke again. "I know you will need time to fully believe me. But I believe you. If you want to go to dinner with Cass or any other woman, I will never say no."

She smiled at him and he kissed her sweetly before both their communicators chirped. They each looked down and realized they were being called to different patient's beds for status updates. They continued working and McCoy asked Sabine to release Cass, telling her he'd meet her over at Cass's bed when he was done with his patient.

"Hello," Sabine said to Cass as she walked over.

"Are you guys finally letting me go free?" Cass asked. Sabine nodded as she went to work removing the IVs and sensors from her friend.

There was still something in the air between the two women. They had ended their fight but that didn't mean things had returned to normal. After a fight so big, that had lasted so long, both women were still inclined to tip-toe a bit around the other. Neither was completely certain they were out of the woods and they both had the good sense to realize the only thing that would alleviate their trepidation was time. Well, time and finding Aubrey. But Cass still felt the need to check on one item.

"I don't know if he mentioned it, but I asked Bones if he'd have dinner with me tonight. Is that okay?" she asked Sabine as the doctor removed another IV. Cass worried that she may have wanted to wait till no needles were involved to start this conversation but Sabine extracted the IV as gently as she had the first one.

"He did mention it to me and I will tell you what I told him. I have no problem with you two having dinner together."

"Really?" Cass asked, searching for any errant emotions that Sabine might let slip. But the other telepath had been prepared for this conversation by the one she'd held with McCoy earlier.

"Yes, really. You are friends. You should spend time together. Neither of you needs my permission to do so."

"Thanks, Sabs. You won't regret this!"

Sabine looked up at Cass's face sharply.

"I had not thought to regret it." She studied her friend for a moment. "What are you planning?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," Cass said fervently. "Scout's honor," she said as she made the Vulcan salute with both hands.

Sabine wasn't convinced but she knew she'd get no straight answers from Cass. She sighed. Looked like she wouldn't know what Cass's plan was till after the fact, when Cass or McCoy explained it to her.

McCoy joined the two women and the conversation shifted to all the things McCoy did not want Cass to do over the next couple of days.

Cass was cleared to leave med bay and Geoff insisted both McCoy and Sabine leave with her, resuming their regular schedules the next day. He did not get much argument from either doctor.

Cass and McCoy sparred over his restrictions for her until the two doctors dropped her off at guest quarters. From there, the two doctors walked down the corridor, chatting amicably until they reached McCoy's quarters.

"Hey," he asked Sabine, "You wanna come in for a little bit? Or are you too tired?"

"No, I am surprisingly awake right now. And I would love to join you."

"Good," he said, giving her a rare wide smile. They both looked around the hallway. No one was in sight so he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his quarters.


	109. Chapter 109

McCoy wanted Sabine and he wanted her now. The door to his quarters had barely shut before he had her against the wall, his mouth fused to hers. Sabine didn't fight him – she wanted this as much as he did. He gripped her waist with both hands. She held on to his arms, pushing against him as he pressed himself to her. He ran his hands down her thighs to the hem of her uniform dress while she wound her arms around his neck, her hands in his hair.

"I need you," she whispered in his ear when he broke off their kisses to trail his mouth along her jaw and down her neck.

"Goddamn, Sabine," he breathed, the air hot on her neck, "I need you too." He moved slightly away from her, his hands under the skirt of her uniform, tugging at her panties. He slid them down her thighs and they dropped to the floor. She stepped out of them and he pushed her against the wall again. With one hand, he cupped her chin and the other made its way back up her skirt.

"Look at me," he requested. "I want to watch you come."

She shivered and he skimmed his fingers along her already-wet cleft, finding what he was seeking. He debated within himself: should he be quick and dirty about this, or take his time and draw out the pleasure? Taking his time would mean longer for him to wait for his own gratification but it was worth it. He remembered what she could do with her hands and mouth – he wouldn't be disappointed.

"Leo," she moaned, her eyes fixed on his.

He stroked circles around her bud with his thumb, while sliding one finger inside her and she audibly gasped.

Sabine rocked her hips into him and as he slid a second finger in her, she threw her head back. He remembered how sensitive she was – it had never taken him long to get her going and, with his free hand, he pulled her face down to regain eye contact with her. He worked her methodically, watching as her pupils dilated, listening to the changes in her breathing, and feeling her become wetter as his fingers danced within her.

She moved her hands to his chest, drawing him to her by yanking on his shirt. She tried to kiss him but he jerked away to keep his eyes on hers. She began to moan as his ministrations brought her closer to the point he was so intent on watching.

When he inserted a third finger inside her, he began pumping in earnest, no longer playing. He plunged in and out of her and his fingers were coated with her wetness. He continued to work her clit with his thumb, but never enough to push her over the brink, despite how she begged for release. And she was begging. Sabine could be quiet when the situation required it but now was not one of those times and the words that came out of her mouth were enough to make him blush. She turned into a sailor when he was doing his job right. One day he'd ask her just where she'd learned half of the things she said when she was caught up in the moment.

He gazed at her as her breathing grew more rapid and shallow, more sounds of pleasure escaping her. She kept her eyes on his, seeing his satisfaction at the reaction he was eliciting from her. She squirmed and writhed against his hand, so close to coming. He felt her walls clench around his fingers, felt the hot wetness inside her and decided he'd drawn it out enough. He pressed harder into her bud and the damn broke. She was clutching his arms with her hands, relying on the wall behind her and him in front of her to keep her standing and he felt her nails through the fabric of his medical blues, digging into his arms.

A few seconds later, she cried out and he watched as her expression wavered between joy and pain as her walls spasmed around his fingers. He felt liquid soak his fingers and spill out onto his cupped hand. After she had caught her breath, he leaned in, resting his forehead on hers. They stayed like that for a few moments as she continued to inhale and exhale deeply. Finally, she sought his mouth with her own, kissing him aggressively before pulling away and grabbing his hand as he removed it from her. She sucked his fingers, never once looking away from him. He moaned.

"It's gotta be illegal to radiate sex the way you do," he whispered.

They kissed, their tongues tangling. Sabine was in awe at how familiar yet foreign it felt to be with him again. He was the man she had fallen in love with and yet there was still a distance between them, even in this most intimate of moments. She hoped, as time went by and he came to fully trust her, the distance would disappear. Despite her worries and concerns, she relished the plane of pleasure he brought her to so easily, as though he could see inside her to discover exactly how she wanted to be touched and when.

McCoy felt simultaneously like he'd finally found the piece that had been missing in his life for the past five years, and like he was heading the wrong way down a one-way street. He had no question regarding his attraction to Sabine and their sexual compatibility. But as hard as he tried, he could not completely shake the unease in the back of his head over letting her back into his heart. A part of him wondered when she would break it again. And he hated that part for doubting her because the rest of him loved her so damn much, it hurt. Even as he struggled with the decision to take their relationship beyond friendship, he reveled in bringing her to orgasm.

With both of them feeling the power of their attraction and the reservations that still lingered, they kissed hungrily, as though it might be their last kiss. Finally, Sabine pulled her lips away from his and skimmed them across his cheek to just below his ear.

"Did you like watching me?" she asked before nibbling on his earlobe.

"God, yes," he replied, his hands all over her body. "I wanna watch you come over and over again," he whispered as he pulled her against him so she could feel his arousal.

"Do it again, please," she commanded him. "Only this time, use your mouth."

He pulled away to look her in the eyes. "Yeah?"

"Yes," she confirmed.

Without another word, he sank to his knees, looking up at her almost as though she were an altar for him to worship at. He pushed her skirt up and she hitched one leg over his shoulder, giving him the space he needed. He leaned in and ran his mouth up her left thigh. She sighed in excited anticipation, her hands tangled in his hair.

He met her clit with his lips, sucking and licking gently while feeling a tremor run through her body. He buried his face against her, alternating his oral attention between her clitoris and inside her. He used his fingers wherever his mouth wasn't and he could tell from her cries, from the way her walls tightened, and from her taste, that she was close again. She let out a ragged groan, on the cusp of coming. He just needed another minute to –

"Bones!" Jim's voice rang out from the communicator unit on the wall right beside them. Sabine yelped, surprised by the sound, and McCoy cursed. She took a moment to gulp in air while McCoy reluctantly pulled away from her center and looked up at her face. She was as irritated as he was but he jerked his head to the communicator as he wiped his mouth and she understood what he wanted. She pressed the button so he could respond.

"What, Jim? What?" He didn't bother masking his annoyance, not that Jim would think anything of it – McCoy was always cranky.

"We recovered the holovid stream from Cass's ship," Jim replied. "Come to the conference room to take a look. And swing by to get Latour on your way."

"Got it," McCoy said, standing and taking over the button for Sabine while handing her the panties he'd scooped up from the floor. She nodded her thanks and began to put them on.

"Do you need us to pick up Cass too?" McCoy asked, using his free hand to help Sabine pull her underwear back on. He lingered, cupping her ass cheek in his hand as she leaned against his shoulder.

"No, I commed her already. She's on her way. Just get Latour. See you there." Jim ended the comm and McCoy removed his hand from the button to place it on Sabine's head, stroking her hair.

"Tonight, after dinner," he said softly to her. "We'll pick up where we left off."

She pulled away slightly and looked up at him. "Mmm, I cannot wait," she murmured. She promised herself she would ask him about the ring then. No more delays.

"Me either," he replied, kissing her forehead. "Come on, let's get going."

They left his room together to find out what the holovid could tell them about the attack on Cass.


	110. Chapter 110

"I managed ta recover both the logs and the holovid," Scotty said proudly to the group assembled at the table. He grew more somber. "But I cannae tell ye that it's easy viewing."

Scotty looked around the conference room at the others present – Jim, Spock, McCoy, Sabine, and Cass.

"That's okay, Mr. Scott," Jim said, shooting a glance over to Cass who nodded at his unasked question. "Go ahead and show us what you've got."

"Aye, Cap'n," the engineer replied, placing a holovid data tape from Cass's ship into the computer. The room was silent as Scotty punched a command into the computer to project the holovid on the screen that had lowered from the ceiling. Sabine sat next to Cass and she reached over to touch the Betazoid's bare arm, feeding strength through the connection. Cass smiled without looking at her and placed her hand on top of Sabine's. It would take time, but they would get through this – their friendship would survive. Of all the people seated around the conference room table, Cass was most relieved to have Sabine there because she was the only other one who would understand, on a visceral level, how difficult what they were about to see would be for her. And Cass appreciated that she didn't have to ask Sabine for her support – reaching out for, and accepting, help had never been a particular strong point for Cass. But Sabine wordlessly understood both Cass's reticence to appear weak, and her need to be comforted by the only other person who could offer her a real understanding.

The holovid started and the room watched as Cass sat in the left-hand chair at the front of the cruiser, looking at the instruments panel, and adjusting settings to maintain her place as the shuttle disappeared from sight, en route to answer the distress call they'd received.

Scotty paused the holovid. "I verified against the cruiser logs that the signal you received was from the science vessel Antares…the problem is, the Antares was destroyed almost a year ago."

"Which would explain why the shuttle found nothing when they arrived at the distress beacon's coordinates," Jim noted. "Any idea how the beacon was triggered, Mr. Scott?"

"Not yet, Cap'n." Scotty hit the button to continue playing the holovid. From behind Cass, a man beamed into her cruiser. They could only see the back of his head. In the holovid, Cass heard the beaming noise and moved to turn around, smiling as she said, "Aubrey!"

"Mister Scott, pause it, please," Cass requested.

"I remember this," Cass said. "I told you all in sick bay – I felt Aubrey on the ship. Before I saw the intruder, I was convinced it was Aubrey."

"So Aubrey's…mind or soul – whatever you want to call it – was there from the start," Jim replied. "Go on, Mister Scott."

The holovid began again. Everyone watched as Cass's face changed from happiness to suspicion.

"Who are you?" she asked the intruder, standing up from her chair. "Where's Aubrey?"

He did not answer but advanced on her. Cass grabbed for her phaser but the intruder got to her first, holding a silver cylinder to her ear.

"Scotty, can you stop the holovid?" Sabine asked, trying to keep the emotions out of her voice.

"Aye, lass."

"Can you zoom in on that device he is holding?"

"Give me a moment," the Scotsman answered as he fiddled with the computer's controls. The image zoomed in, losing none of its clarity.

"That is it," Sabine said softly. "That is what they use in the attacks. It renders the victim unable to fight back."

"What is it?" McCoy asked. "It looks like a fat hypospray."

"I do not know," Sabine replied.

"I cannot recall seeing a weapon like this before," Spock added.

"And it works on both telepaths and non-telepaths, right?" Jim asked.

"Yes," Cass replied slowly. "Everyone we know of, except one."

"Scotty, please save this image and send it to my PADD," Sabine requested. "I do not know what it is but I have an idea of someone who might," she explained to the rest of the table.

"Let's watch the rest of the holovid first," Cass replied. She wanted – needed – to see exactly what had happened to her.

Scotty sent the zoomed-in image of the weapon to Sabine and resumed the holovid at its normal size. They all watched as Cass lost her footing, appearing to momentarily pass out just after the intruder held the silver stick up to her ear. He grabbed her as she fell and for the first time, the holovid caught a glimpse of his face.

Cass stared at the holovid hard but made no comment to stop it so the scene continued. After a moment, Cass awakened on the floor of the cruiser and attempted to get up but her movements were sloppy and uncoordinated. It appeared to take all her efforts to sit up. The intruder smacked her across the forehead with the device he had just used to disable her.

"Now we know where that cut came from," McCoy observed.

Instead of knocking her out, the blow to her forehead seemed to anger Cass further and she continued to struggle. Unable to get her limbs to do what she wanted, she settled on scooting across the floor, where the intruder was standing at a console, punching in various commands. She used all her strength to lift her head up and bite him on the calf.

"Nice move," Jim said to her softly.

"Thanks? I have no memory of that," she replied.

The intruder spun around and kicked her in the stomach. What little coordination she'd had was escaping her and Cass remained prostrate on the ground. She was moaning something as the intruder finished his work at the console and tucked the device into his pants pocket. The holovid ended at that moment.

"And that's where we lose the rest of the holovid because of a manually-entered code to stop it from recording," Scotty said.

"Scotty, can you zoom in on what I'm saying?" Cass asked the engineer, relieved to see that she had only suffered from hits and no sexual assault, as far as the holovid showed. It was strange, being in a position to wonder whether she had been assaulted. Her body gave her no indications one way or the other and it felt like a betrayal on some level. If she had been assaulted, she wanted her body to make it known without any doubt. Once again, she felt gratitude that Sabine was there beside her. It was possible she had been assaulted after the holovid cut out and unles she gained back more memory from the attack, they would never be certain She had a better understanding now of what the other telepath and fellow members of the crew had gone through.

"Aye, one step ahead of you, lass," he replied, already playing with the sound elements of the holovid.

He restarted the holovid a few seconds before it stopped, zooming in on Cass and muting all background noises. As she lost consciousness, everyone in the conference room could hear her moan, "Why, Aubrey? Why?"

"You could still feel her," Sabine speculated.

"Yeah, and I didn't understand why she was helping that dickwad meddle with my ship," Cass replied. She gave Jim a look and he gave her a slight nod.

"Scotty, can you work on that distress beacon? And take a look at the cruiser's records to see if there was another ship in the area – how did this guy manage to beam onto the cruiser – where'd he beam from?"

"Aye, sir."

"Bones, can you grab a member of security, and someone from the science department and scan that cruiser for any trace of hair or skin from the attacker?"

"Sure, Jim."

McCoy and Scotty rose to leave and Jim gave them both a nod. They left while Sabine and Cass remained at the table.

Cass looked over at Jim and took a deep breath.

"I recognize the man who attacked me." Jim, Spock, and Sabine looked at her in surprise.

She continued. "He was a Section 31 agent – in the London office. Agent Moore. I never worked directly with him but I remember him. The thing is, according to his records, he died in the bombing." She shared a long look with Sabine. If agents presumed dead in the London bombing were actually working to attack the Resurrection group, they had more suspects to consider than they'd previously thought.

"Are you sure about that?" Jim asked.

"Yeah," Cass replied, holding up her PADD. "I'm looking at his file right now."

"I will not mention that you should not have the clearance to access that file," Spock said.

"Yeah, thanks for not pointing that out, Spock," Jim cracked dryly. "But what's the point of it all?" he asked. "He comes aboard, sticks that thing against your ear, then turns off the ship's systems? It doesn't make any sense."

"We need to find out what that device is," Sabine replied. "I suspect it does more than just knock a person out."

"Agreed," Cass said. "Why not just stun us? Why use that thing?"

"Who's your contact?" Jim asked Sabine. "Can you comm them right now?"

"Yes," she replied, getting up and moving to the computer console. "If there is anyone who will know about instruments that affect telepaths, it will be a Naralian," she said as she punched an ID into the computer's communicator.

The room waited as the comm went through. When it connected, the screen showed an older Naralian staring into the communicator.

"Sabine!" the Naralian said upon seeing Sabine's face on their end.

"Madame Bianye, hello," Sabine replied.

"She knows your real name? Goddammit, did you guys follow any rules, ever?" Cass grumbled. Sabine shot her a look.

"My dear, I have been meaning to contact you," the madam said. "I sense that you are not alone."

"No, Madame. I am with a friend, as well as the first officer and captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise. We have a question for you regarding a device that has been used in several attacks on telepaths and non-telepaths."

"Are you alright?" the madam asked, her light pink eyes darkening to magenta with concern.

"Right now, yes. But the tool being used renders its victims both incapacitated for a period of time and without memories or use of their mental abilities, if they have them."

The Naralian frowned. "Do you have an image of the device?"

"I do. I am sending it to you now," Sabine replied as she swiped across her PADD. "You should have it."

Madame Bianye looked down at her own PADD for a moment, and opened the message with its accompanying image. She studied it and her face conveyed her confusion.

"Darling, I do know what this is. And this is why I wanted to reach out to you," Madame Bianye replied, looking at Sabine with a seriousness she had rarely seen from any Naralian.

"What do you mean?" Sabine asked.

"Well, not even a full 24 hours ago, there was a break-in at the archives. A guard was killed."

Sabine wasn't the only person at the table to make a surprised sound at that bit of news. Nara II hadn't had a homicide in over ten years. The madam continued.

"Whoever broke in, they destroyed the holovids. And they took several devices very similar to the one here. These are old instruments, you know. They were used a generation ago to teach our young how to control their telepathic impulses. They were never meant to be weapons but we stopped using them when certain youth complained that the tools left them feeling slightly disoriented."

Sabine shared a weighted look with Cass. Slight disorientation was one way to put it.

"But my dear, that isn't why I wanted to contact you. I was planning to comm you today because the thieves also went through the Resurrection collection. We do not yet know that they took anything, but all the boxes and bins were strewn about. It is clear they were looking for something, even if they did not find it."

"Shit," Cass murmured. Sabine struggled to keep her composure.

"I do not know what to say," she replied to the madam.

"I hope you are safe," Madame Bianye replied.

"Looks like we're making a trip to Nara II," Jim said. "Will that be alright with them?" he asked Sabine.

"Madame, would you mind if the Enterprise came there? To assist you all with the investigation?" Sabine asked, keeping all tremors out of her voice.

"Dearest, you and your friends are always welcome here. We are happy to receive whatever assistance you can give. And I can tell you more about the device you've inquired upon."

Sabine smiled weakly at her old employer. "We will see you soon," she replied. They ended the comm and silence fell around the table for a minute as everyone collected their thoughts.

"So here's what we know," Jim stated. "First, someone or some group, with ties to Section 31, has targeted you guys. And now someone has gone to Nara II in search of one of these devices. And Nara has a collection on the Resurrection project?"

"Yes," Sabine replied, realizing she had never told Jim about the discovery she and Adjoa had made during their time on Nara II. "My crew was not the only one to escape. Resurrection I was working on faster-than-light-speed travel and they were successful. When the Resurrection ships and stations started being shot down, they took off and made it to Nara II, which had been found by one of the other Resurrection crafts charged with discovering inhabitable planets for humankind."

"That would mean first contact between humans and other beings was made by the Resurrection I and not Zefram Cochrane," Spock noted.

"Yes. But it is probably for the best that we do not change the history PADDs," Sabine replied. "Let Cochrane take credit. No one is trying to harm him."

"The collection on Nara II," Jim interjected, bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand. "What does it consist of? You've seen it?"

Sabine nodded. "It is mainly items the crew brought with them – photographs, books, trinkets. But they also wrote letters to us, the Resurrection IV crew. They hoped we would find them because they knew we had discovered a viable method of time travel."

Jim whistled. "Well, that's a helluva thing to keep quiet all this time."

Sabine wasn't sure if he was referring to the fact that she'd never said anything to him about Resurrection I or that Nara II had managed to keep the collection quiet. She furrowed her brow at him.

"I mean, I'm surprised the Naralians kept it concealed that they'd been contacted by humans," he clarified.

"They did not want to risk the lives of the crew. Remember, in that time, humans were intent on destroying one another. If a group showed up on your planet begging for asylum, perhaps you would not rush to advertise their presence," Sabine replied.

"Point taken," Jim said contritely. He began again. "So there's a good chance that whoever raided the archives on Nara II is somehow connected to whoever's attacking you guys, right?"

"It would appear that way, yeah," Cass answered, rubbing her face.

"And there are still a few crew members who haven't been attacked?" Spock asked.

"Adjoa, Theo, and Oliver."

"All people living outside Federation space," Cass said, thinking aloud. "Adjoa is with the Klingons while Theo and Oliver spend most of their time in Romulan space."

"Which means we're probably dealing with a group who doesn't want to go beyond Federation space," Jim added. He sighed in frustration. "Until we get to Nara II, and have a chance to question your friend and others, I don't think we're going to find many answers," Jim said. He tapped the comm button for the bridge. "Chekov, Sulu – chart a course to Nara II and lay it in."

"How long will it take us to get there?" Cass asked.

"I estimate the trip will take approximately three days," Spock answered.

"Three days here with you guys?" Cass said in mock disappointment. "Ugh. The worst."

"On that note, meeting adjourned," Jim replied.


	111. Chapter 111

Cass and McCoy sat across from one another, enjoying post-dinner drinks. She gave the doctor an appraising look.

"What?" he asked. "You look happy as a dead pig in the sunshine."

She shook her head. "You and your weird Southern phrases."

"They aren't weird. Now why are you looking at me like that?" He gave her his best annoyed look.

"Tell me about you and Sabine," she replied, somewhat coy.

"What do you wanna know?" he growled, fighting a smile.

"You're back together, aren't you?"

"Didn't take long for you to start nosing your way into everything, huh?"

"What can I say?" Cass retorted. "I'm a Betazoid. It's what we do. Now will you just give me an answer already?"

"Yeah, fine. We're something more than friends." McCoy was uncomfortable labeling what he and Sabine were.

"Mmm-hmm," Cass replied, in her best impression of Sabine. "This, despite what you remember from the Academy?"

"Look, what do you want from me?" McCoy shot back, feeling real irritation rise in him. "You were right. I shoulda realized I couldn't resist her."

Cass stopped smiling and leaned in closer to him. "But you're still bothered by what you remember from back then. You can't figure out how the woman who cheated on you can be the same woman you're falling for now. You wish you could know, once and for all, what the truth is, right?"

He stared at Cass for a moment.

"What's this all about?"

"I can help you. You want the truth and I know how to make sure you get it."

"You're serious?"

"Yes," she said gravely. "As serious as I ever get."

"Why did you wait till now to make this offer?" McCoy was ever the skeptic.

"You needed to be in the right place – mentally and emotionally."

"And you think I am now?"

"I think you're as close as you're gonna get," Cass replied frankly. "And I gotta tell you – this isn't gonna be easy. There are real risks associated with what I'm offering to do. But if you want the truth, I can help you find it."

They stared at each other in silence, their drinks forgotten, as McCoy pondered her offer.

"How do we do this?" he finally asked, his desire to unravel the rest of the mysteries surrounding Sabine winning out over his preference for caution and risk-aversion.

"Well, we start by heading back to your quarters," Cass replied. "When we get there, I need you to find something for me and then I'm gonna ask you a series of questions. I don't know exactly what's gonna happen from there but that'll start the process."

McCoy gazed at her like she was speaking Vulcan. "Not a damn word you just said makes a lick of sense," he grumbled, as he stood up. "But I guess we're headed to my quarters."

"I don't think much is gonna make sense to you for the next couple of hours but you're gonna have to trust me," Cass replied, standing as well.

When they were back in his quarters, Cass asked McCoy to find his grandmother's ring. He scowled at her.

"Yeah, I know. You probably hate that ring," she said. "But get it out anyway."

He did so, digging through a drawer of his desk till he found the damned thing, muttering the entire time.

He held it up to show her he'd found it. Cass sat down at the table that served as his research area/kitchen table and motioned for him to join her. "Bring it over," she beckoned. He took a seat across from her, his unease with the whole situation increasing with each passing minute. She held her hand out and he dropped the ring in it. She left her palm flat so they could both see the ring.

"Okay, cowboy. Tell me about getting this back from Sabine," she asked him, pulling no punches.

"What do you mean?" he asked, irritated.

"I want you to recount your memory of when she gave this ring back to you. Tell me everything."

He opened his mouth to reply, then closed it. He studied the ring as he tried to remember the exact handoff.

"We fought after I found her with what's-his-face," McCoy faltered.

"Is that when she gave it back?" Cass asked gently.

"I…I…don't know," he admitted.

Cass was about to ask a follow-up question when McCoy's face went slack, his eyes vacant. It only lasted a second and then he met her gaze and scowled.

"What are we doing here?" he asked.

Cass was confused. "I…I'm asking you about this ring," she said, holding up his grandmother's ring.

"What about it?" he asked.

"I just asked you – how did Sabine get it back to you?"

"You asked me that? When?"

Now Cass was beyond confused. What the hell was happening?

"Like ten seconds ago," she replied, flustered.

"I don't remember that," he said, almost defiantly. She stared at him, trying to figure out if he was just messing with her but he seemed as confused and irritated as she felt.

"Well, no matter," she said finally. "Just tell me now. How did you get this ring back from Sabine?"

He pondered her question for a moment and then furrowed his brow.

"I…I'm not sure," he said slowly.

And once again, he lost all expression and his eyes clouded over. A moment later, he looked at her.

"What the hell? We were just in the officers' lounge?" he asked her, cranky and disoriented.

Cass had not anticipated this. She knew he would stumble over the memory of the ring being returned because Sabine had never planted that memory in his mind – that was the loophole. But this….his seeming ability to reset himself as soon as he realized he didn't have a memory of the transaction – this was unlike anything she'd ever seen.

"Bones, will you let me read you?"

"You know I hate it when you do that stuff to me," he replied.

"I know, but I need to see what's happening up there in your head," she countered.

"Alright," he grumbled, rubbing his forehead as a headache formed.

Cass read him and was surprised to see that he'd blocked his own memories. And he was trying to block her.

"Who taught you how to block?" she asked in amazement. "And why are you so good at it?"

"What're you talkin' about?" he shot back. "Why are we in my quarters right now?"

"Because I told you I was going to help you remember the truth about what happened between you and Sabine at the Academy," Cass said, trying to hide her irritation.

"Really?" he asked and for a second, she felt like she was dealing with a senile grandparent. Which was nonsense, because even if Bones acted like a grumpy grandpa sometimes, the last thing she'd describe him as was senile.

Cass sat back a moment, befuddled. How did Bones, someone she knew to be a non-telepath, know how to block? She reentered his mind, searching it more deeply. Against great resistance from him, she finally found what she was looking for. His connection to Sabine had been hidden in the dark recesses of his mind and it was so much stronger than it had been at the Academy. Fuck, they were well on their way to being bondmates and neither of them had a clue.

Cass swore out loud to herself. This wasn't supposed to happen. The connection should've withered away after Sabine escaped Earth. But instead, it was thriving.

Cass plowed ahead, surveying the damage.

Subconsciously, McCoy was using Sabine's mental abilities to protect his memories from being disrupted. No wonder he hadn't remembered anything yet – and no wonder he'd seen the attack on X0-19. And of course, Sabine had no idea because she was too noble to invade anyone's mind without their permission. Further, she probably hadn't noticed him drawing on her abilities, outside of the dreams, because he'd been doing it for so long and it didn't take much energy away from her. She'd come into her powers shortly after they'd left Earth so she would've had no clue if there was a deficit. Good Lord. This was much worse than Cass had expected. She sighed and pulled out of his mind again, wiping her forehead, where a light perspiration had formed from the exertion of fighting McCoy's defenses to look into the deepest parts of him. He stared back at her, waiting for an explanation.

"Shit," was all she could mumble. She knew what she needed to do. Wordlessly, and quickly, she got up from the table to grab McCoy's med kit, opening it and searching through the hypos within.

"Hey, just what the hell do you think you're doin'?" he asked as he jumped up and crossed over to where she was standing. Cass found the hypo she wanted and turned to face him.

"This," she replied, jabbing the sedative-filled hypo into his neck. He made a cry of dismay as he fell to the floor in a heap.

"Sorry, Bones," Cass murmured as she stepped over his body, moved to the center of the room, took a deep breath, and reached out to Sabine.

* * *

Sabine looked up at the clock again, hating herself for keeping track of the time. But it was 2200 hours and she hadn't anticipated dinner going so long. The voices she'd worked so hard to ignore were becoming louder with each passing minute.  _Maybe he never really forgave you after all. Perhaps this is Cass's revenge for how you wronged her. What if they're in bed together right now?_  She squeezed her eyes shut and turned up the music to drown out all her doubts. She trusted Cass. Their friendship might be more tenuous than in the past, but they were friends nonetheless. And Cass was still mourning the loss of Varik. She trusted Leo. He cared about her, she knew it. This paranoia was stupid.

Returning to the PADD novel she was working her way through, Sabine felt a familiar pinch. She opened her mind to Cass.

_I'm in McCoy's room and I need you to get over here now._

On my way. Is everything okay?

_I'll explain when you get here._

Moments later, Sabine pressed the chimes to McCoy's quarters and Cass ushered her in. Sabine quickly surveyed the room and saw McCoy lying in a heap on the floor, just beside the table he used as a desk.

"Cass, what happened?" she cried as she rushed to the unconscious man and crouched down to examine him.

"Don't worry, he's fine. I stuck him full of sedatives to keep him unconscious," Cass answered, coming over to Sabine.

Sabine stood up and looked at the other woman in anger.

"And just why did you do that?" she asked as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Why don't you and I take a look in his mind to find out?" Cass replied and before Sabine could protest, Cass's eyes turned black and they were both standing in the grove of magnolia trees that comprised McCoy's mind. Despite her unease entering the other doctor's mind without his permission, Sabine took a deep breath, inhaling the fragrant blooms. She had missed this mind so much and had done her best to forget about it after the night she'd rearranged his memories, not knowing if she'd ever have a chance to return.

"What are we doing here?" she finally asked Cass, after appreciating the beauty surrounding them. Each tree represented a different part of McCoy's life, and the flowers blooming on each tree were the memories themselves.

"Walk with me," Cass replied. Sabine gave her a look, tired of the non-answers, and Cass sighed. "Look, I intended to help Bones remember the truth tonight," she began as the two friends walked through the grove together. "Turns out, I can't do it alone."

Sabine wrinkled her forehead. "Why not?" she asked, refraining from a lecture about the risks. Cass knew them as well, if not better, than she did. Of all the people she could think of, Cass was the only person she would trust to tamper with someone else's mind, even if that someone else was the man she loved.

"Because of this," Cass replied, pointing to the tree in front of them. Sabine turned and looked at it. She knew this tree. It was hers. All the memories McCoy had of her were contained on this tree. She had spent the most time here when she'd altered his memories. All around them, on the ground, lay the still-vibrant memories she'd plucked and in the tree itself, bloomed a mix of true recollections and the fake ones she had implanted.

"It is so much bigger than the last time I was here," Sabine murmured.

"Yeah, well, that's how time works," Cass replied. "But I need you to see this," she said, as she kicked at the ground, tapping a particularly strong root. Sabine could see the root had been exposed, the dirt above it already dug up.

"What is it?" she asked Cass.

"Follow it and find out," the other woman replied. "I'm right behind you."

Sabine walked along the root and it kept going, past the grove. She turned and looked at Cass nervously.

"Where does this go?" she asked, her voice full of apprehension.

"Pretty sure you know the answer to that," Cass replied sympathetically. "But keep going."

Soon, they were in pitch darkness and the only thing lighting the way was the root, now emitting a faint glow. Ahead, Sabine saw a brighter light. As they drew closer to the light, Sabine stopped short.

"Non," she murmured.

"It's okay," Cass replied, coming up alongside her and putting her arm around the other woman's shoulders.

"Comment? How did this happen without my knowledge?" she asked the other telepath. She recognized the source of light – it was the city of her own mind, lit up with memories. The root from McCoy's mind had stretched into her own mind. Sabine looked at the root in dismay – it was huge and it was unmistakably a lifebond. At the Academy, the connection between them had been like a string of yarn connecting their minds. How had she not realized the connection had grown so strong? They had been connected this whole time, the root giving way to a cobblestone street in her mind, the block one of several filled with buildings dedicated to her memories of and with McCoy.

"My best guess?" Cass asked and Sabine nodded.

"I think the bond was stronger than we realized at the Academy. For whatever reason, you two are more compatible than a telepath and a non-telepath should be. It's not unheard of – just unusual."

"I should have felt this," Sabine murmured, distraught.

"You didn't come fully into your powers till Nara II so you never noticed that this connection was growing and he was sharing your powers with you. And the stronger you've become as a telepath, the better he's been able to protect himself from undoing what you did that night. On some base level, his mind knows you want to protect him. So it's using your powers to keep him safe. I think you're the only one who can fix the false memories. I gotta tell you, this was a much different voyage without you – thorns everywhere, lightning flashes when I so much as tried to get close to one of the trees, let alone touch a memory, and then, when I got here, to the juncture between your minds, nothing but road blocks. Having you here means both minds will allow us to make the changes we need."

Sabine looked at Cass in tears.

"I did this to him. This bond is my fault," she said in anguish. She'd never meant to create a lifebond with him. What she was seeing was confirmation of her worst fears.

Before Cass could answer, a figure approached them from the street in Sabine's mind, crossing into the darkness they stood in.

"You two want to tell me what the hell is going on? I feel like I've been wandering around in here for ages," McCoy complained.

"Oh, calm the fuck down," Cass replied. "It hasn't even been ten minutes since I knocked you out. And way to wander off. Why didn't you stay in your grove?"

"Because I wanted to know why you felt like you had to drug me. I don't appreciate that, by the way," McCoy replied. He looked over at Sabine. "Darlin', why are you so upset?"

"We share a lifebond," she cried out. "I never meant to do that to you."

"Is that what this is?" he asked, eyeing the root at their feet.

Sabine nodded as the tears fell from her eyes.

"Look, can't say I'm wild about sharing head space with another person, but if there's anyone I have to do it with, you're not so bad," McCoy said, attempting to comfort her.

"You should not have to share with anyone else. I would have never knowingly done this to you," she answered, her voice thick with remorse.

"I don't know. I don't think you should take all the blame for this. This root is from my mind, right? Looks to me like I crossed the divide to get to you."

"You both did this together," Cass interjected. "It happened because Sabine's a telepath and telepaths can enter other people's minds and make connections between them. But Bones is right. He's the one that's been deepening the bond all this time. You didn't even know about it," she said to Sabine.

"Neither did he," Sabine protested.

"Yeah, fine. But you would have known if you had been the one forging the connection. He used your skills to make this happen."

"I thought you hated me all those years," Sabine said softly. "That should have helped sever this connection, not grow it."

"You know I've never been great at doing what other people expect me to do," McCoy replied, trying to cheer her up. She gave him a weak smile.

"I think we can all agree the memory alterations were a little too effective. At least we know why," Cass mused.

"What happens now?" McCoy asked.

"Well, we've got some work to do in your head," Cass replied.

Sabine wiped her eyes. There was no use crying over something she couldn't undo. She looked over at McCoy.

"I never cheated on you," she said and the freedom those words gave her felt amazing. Loads were lifted from her shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm gettin' that. Y'all wanna explain to me what ya did to my memories?"

The threesome began to walk back towards McCoy's magnolia grove.

"We'll fix them for you," Cass assured him. "You're gonna wake up in the morning feeling like you drowned in a bottle of shitty-ass bourbon, but you'll remember everything as it really happened."

McCoy grabbed Sabine's hand and their fingers interlaced.

"You have no idea how relieved I am to know you didn't cheat on me," he told her softly.

"As relieved as I am to never lie to you again," she murmured in response.

They came to a stop in front of Sabine's tree. Cass looked at the other two.

"You know, I don't really need to be here for this. You two can do this on your own," she said.

"What? You got better plans tonight?" McCoy teased, not minding if she left him alone with Sabine.

"Maybe I do," she teased back before looking at Sabine. "You okay if I leave you to this?"

"Yes," the other woman replied. And before Cass could leave, Sabine let go of McCoy's hand and stepped over to her, hugging her fiercely. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you for doing this."

"I shoulda helped you with this a long time ago," Cass replied, hugging her back tightly. "He's gonna be fine. Or, at least, he'll be him, as good as that can be."

"I'm right here. I can hear you," McCoy grumbled.

Sabine pulled away from Cass, and squeezed her hands.

"We will find Aubrey. I promise you, I will not stop till you are reunited with your sister."

"Thanks, Sabs."

They let go of each other's hands.

"You two have fun," Cass said to them both and in a blink, she was gone.

Sabine looked over at McCoy and he raised an eyebrow at her.

"So how does this work?" he asked.

"See all of these flowers on the ground?" she asked him and he nodded.

"We need to put them back where they go. If you look up at the trees, you can see some of the flowers have a slight glow to them."

"Like that one right there?" he asked as he pointed to one of the flowers that gave off a yellowish light.

"Exactly. Those are the false memories. We replace them with the real ones."

McCoy looked around at all the flowers on the ground.

"We're gonna be here a while, huh?"

"It will feel long but in real time? Minutes, maybe a half hour at the very most. However, we will be exhausted when we go back."

They got to work, a ladder instantly appearing. They knew precisely which flower went where – him, because they were his memories, and her, because she had been the one to move them around. As they worked, they talked.

"So, does this mean we're bonded?" he asked her as they finished her tree and moved to Jim's tree to fix the few memories she'd altered there.

"No," she replied, hesitating.

"But?" he prompted her, seeing her pause.

"At some point, we will have to bond. Once a lifebond is this strong, the only thing you can do is bond or…"

"Die?"

She nodded.

"That's why you're so upset, huh?"

She looked down at him from her perch on the ladder as he handed her a flower.

"I never wanted to bond again," she said quietly. "I love you so much. A bond will be a strain on both of us, especially you. And I do not want you to feel that burden."

She affixed the flower to the tree and dropped the fake memory to the ground.

"Hey," McCoy said softly, pulling her down from the ladder and holding her close. "Whatever happens, we'll get through it. Together." She wrapped her arms around him and held him as tight as he was holding her.

"We can delay it," she whispered. "We can put it off, perhaps another few years."

"Whatever you want," he murmured. He pulled away slightly. "So what's this mean for us right now? What's it gonna be like when we leave here?" He gestured to the grove around them.

Sabine sighed and he pulled her close to him once more, stroking her hair, playing with the curls as she leaned against his chest. She finally spoke, her voice thick with emotion.

"You and I will be able to share thoughts, feelings, and emotions constantly now. No touching needed. Without much effort, we can view glimpses of our separate lives – over time, those glimpses will lengthen until we bond. I will need to teach you how to build a wall around your innermost thoughts so I will not hear them. I will teach you how to block me out when you need time to yourself."

"But when we bond?" he asked gently.

"We will not be able to block one another at that point. And we will see everything through one another's eyes. It will be like living two lives at the same time."

For a moment, there was nothing but the sound of each of them breathing. McCoy was starting to understand just why Sabine was so upset by the lifebond between them. He didn't enjoy the idea of someone having access to all of his thoughts and feelings. If he hadn't driven her away yet, living in his head might just do it. He took a deep breath, causing her to pull away from his chest and look up into his eyes.

"We'll deal with it when it comes, I guess," he said softly.

She nodded.

They broke apart and got back to work. Scattered throughout the grove were still random memories she'd had to alter to make him believe she'd broken his heart. So much made sense to him now. This was why he'd been so broken up over a woman he dated for only a handful of months all those years ago. And this was why he'd been drawn back to her, unable to understand why she'd done what she'd done back at the Academy.

"So, why'd you guys put off doing this for so long?" McCoy asked.

"What? Restoring your memories?" Sabine asked him back.

"Yeah. Why didn't you just knock me out right after you were assigned to the ship? Cass said something about me needing to be in the right place mentally. What's that all about?"

"This is dangerous business," Sabine replied. "Cass thought you would respond better now because she knew you had positive feelings for me – that would make it easier to convince you which memories were real."

"So, if you'd tried this right after you joined the crew?"

She shuddered. "I would never have done that to you. But what I was waiting for, the thing I needed to see from you, was a realization that your memories were not as they should be. Without that? With how hostile you were towards me? I was afraid it would drive you to insanity."

"Remember how I tried to ask you about the ring once?" she asked him, hoping he would, in fact remember. He looked up at her in surprise.

"You were tryin' to get me to remember," he said, finally putting it together.

"Mmm-hmm. And you were so angry. I could not go through with it. I needed you to be willing to consider that your memories were wrong."

"But darlin', I did think something was up. I talked to Spock about it…,"

"I know," she sighed. "But none of us knew exactly what was happening. He recommended you read the ship records on memory alterations and said you told him you could not find the records. None of us understood why and we wanted to be careful."

She sighed and continued. "It was worth it, to me, to let you keep the fake memories if it kept you sane. Especially after we became friends and you seemed to forgive me for what you thought I had done. I did not like it – the idea of living with a lie for conceivably the rest of our lives. But it was so much better than the idea of doing permanent damage to your mind."

He stared thoughtfully at her as he contemplated her words.

She pointed to the ground beneath them. "See how certain patches light up as we drop the fake memories down?" she asked him. "Or how the tree lights up as I place the real memory in it?"

He nodded as they watched the ground glow momentarily after she dropped another fake memory from the tree they were working on.

"Those lights are your brain, struggling to handle the idea of a fake reality imposed over a real one. That light is discord. It is damage – brain damage."

"Okay, but it goes away," McCoy replied. "The damage is only a few seconds, not permanent."

"Yes," she agreed. "Because your mind is letting me use my abilities to soothe it. I am repairing the damage as we go. That is not something I knew I would be able to do. Because we have the lifebond, your mind lets mine come in and fix things without the risk of insanity to you."

He watched as she changed another memory then picked up a real memory from the ground and observed the flash that accompanied his action dissipate.

"Cass told me that when she entered your mind, there were thorns everywhere, and when she reached out to touch a memory, it flashed. When she saw the bond between us, she got me because she knew this would be easier if I did it."

"You know, you're not doing a very good job convincing me this lifebond isn't a good thing," he cracked. They moved to another tree to repair the memories on it.

"Lifebonds are not so bad at this stage," Sabine replied.

He didn't offer up additional commentary, taking her word for it. She would know – she was the one who had been bonded before. They worked in companionable silence for what felt like a few more minutes before he cleared his throat. Sabine looked down from the ladder at McCoy.

"So, uh, when I was walking around in your mind…" he started.

"Yes?"

"I saw Aubrey's neighborhood."

Sabine looked down at him with a vague air of reproach as McCoy handed her a flower.

"You do know your neighborhood is about five times bigger than hers?" she gently chided him, not wanting to get into an argument over who she cared about more. It was a little soon to be having discussions about the people they'd been romantic with in lieu of one another.

"That's not why I brought it up," he retorted.

"Then why did you bring it up?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

"I'm just saying there are probably some memories there I wouldn't mind replaying with you sometime."

She looked down at him and started blushing furiously.

"You cad," she scolded.

"What? Why can't I enjoy you doing wonderfully lascivious things with another woman? I mean, you have a whole neighborhood dedicated to Nara II as well – I suppose you're gonna tell me I can't enjoy any of those memories either?"

"You really did not waste time running through my mind, did you?"

"What can I say? Your mind is as enticing to me as your body – if not more so," he said with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk.

They continued to tease one another until all the blossoms had been fixed.

"Time to go back to reality," she whispered as McCoy looked at the grove in satisfaction.

In the next instant, she was crouched down next to him in his quarters. McCoy slowly opened his eyes.

"Sweet baby Jesus, Cass wasn't kidding," he choked out. "I feel like shit."

"Mmm, good news is it is only 2300 hours so you have some time to sleep." She helped him up onto the bed. He was dizzy and disoriented but insisted he could change into his own nightclothes. He couldn't. Sabine helped him as he bitched and moaned and when they were done, she sighed.

"You will not be in any condition to work Alpha shift tomorrow morning," she told him as he curled into the fetal position on his bed. He acknowledged her words with a groan and grabbed the trash bin she'd placed next to the bed, emptying the contents of his stomach into it. He stood up unsteadily to pad over to the bathroom and clean his mouth out.

Sabine walked over to the room comm and contacted med bay. She asked Geoff to work through the first part of Alpha, promising him she would come in early for Beta to relieve him and that McCoy would take his Gamma shift the next night. Meanwhile, McCoy returned to bed, cursing all along the way. His shift taken care of, Sabine turned to tell the computer to dim the lights.

"Stay," came McCoy's voice from the bed.

"Yes?" she asked as she walked over to him.

"Please," he asked shakily. "Stay with me tonight."

"Okay," she murmured, getting into the double bed with him. He threw his arm around her waist and pulled her closer, spooning her.

"Love ya so much, gorgeous," he mumbled as he struggled to stay conscious.

"I love you too," she replied. She touched his arm to take some of the pain from him. "Go to sleep," she commanded.

He complied. For a little bit.

* * *

McCoy's alarm went off in the morning, and he groaned while Sabine turned it off. Sleep had not come easily for either of them, despite how exhausted they had been after fixing his mind. They had spent most of the night tossing and turning, occasionally talking to one another telepathically as McCoy would have a question or Sabine would think of something she wanted to share with him. Realizing they had more time to sleep since she wasn't expected in med bay for several hours, she curled back into his arms. From where he had buried his head deep into his pillow, she heard a curse.

"Y'all can't figure out a way to play with people's minds and not leave them feeling so shitty afterwards?" came a muffled and grumpy question. As he was asking it, he pulled her to him. She could feel his hard arousal against her backside.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine," she replied softly, wiggling her butt against him to distract him from his headache. Just to ensure she had his full attention, she pressed her hand against his forearm, alleviating some of the pain he was feeling by taking it on herself.

Another groan, this one decidedly different in nature. Moments later she felt his breath against the back of her neck, followed by the press of his lips.

"Mmm," she sighed happily. "That is more like it."

He pulled away and she rolled onto her back, making eye contact with him as he propped his head up on his hand.

"My God, darlin', I've missed you so much," he murmured, stroking her face with his other hand.

"Tu m'as manqué aussi, mon amour," she sighed.

"Every second of every day for the last five years, I missed you – the real you. You've been on this ship with me for almost a year now and I never understood you were right there, in front of me this whole time," he murmured, a mixture of love and sorrow in his eyes.

"I am so sorry for what I did to you," she replied, her eyes watery. She felt like her heart could burst at any second. Sabine didn't know she could love someone this much.

Before he could answer her, she felt a sensation she hadn't felt since her early twenties. Sabine gasped while McCoy inhaled sharply.

"What the hell was that?" he asked her.

"The bond…," she replied. "It is growing."

"How? Did I do that?" he asked her worriedly.

"No. I do not know. Maybe? It might have been me." She wasn't sure which one of them was to blame. Both of them were experiencing very intense feelings. For all his bluster and irritability, McCoy was a man who loved deeply. He kept most at arms-length but the few he let in, he considered family and he would die for any one of them. Sabine was more outgoing than McCoy, but there were only a few people she thought of as family. Her only other serious relationship had begun as a teenage crush, culminating in a bond between two telepaths given away by their families at a tender age.

"Can't you stop it? Block me or something?" he asked her in concern.

"I…I do not want to," she admitted. "We do not even know if it is you. I may have deepened the bond just now."

"But if this keeps up," he replied. "We'll end up bonding sooner than later. And I thought you didn't want that."

"I do not," she whispered. "But that is the thing about bonds. I want to be as close to you as I can. You and I – we will crave the connection the lifebond gives us. For me, and perhaps for you, it is a biological impulse and going against that impulse is difficult."

"So we're stuck with each other, huh?" He gave her a half-smile as he continued to caress her cheek.

"Sorry," she murmured.

"I'm not," he replied, as his lips met hers. They kissed passionately, their emotions pouring through to one another via the connection between them. It wasn't just emotions though. She hadn't taught him how to block yet and she hadn't done anything to block her own thoughts and memories. They pulled apart to catch their breath.

The hum of all his thoughts was distracting and judging by his wrinkled forehead, he wasn't enjoying hearing everything in her head either. Sabine walled off her thoughts and, without saying a word out loud, showed McCoy how to do the same.

"Like this, we can enjoy the connection without hearing too much of each other's internal conversations," she said to him but he was interested in something else altogether. The look in his eyes, and the feelings of desire he was radiating to her made it very clear now was not the time to discuss the intricacies of telepathic lifebonds.

His lips met hers hungrily, his tongue insistent against hers, and he shifted so that he was above her, using his arms to brace himself. Sabine pulled him down, wanting to feel the weight of his body on hers. They were entangled quickly, pressed against one another, both moaning in satisfaction of having the other so close. She pulled his shirt up, wanting to touch his bare skin. He pulled at her camisole straps greedily, wanting to feel her naked beneath him. Without awareness, he was grinding against her and her hips were bucking to meet his. He groaned as her body repeatedly came into contact with his rigid length. McCoy palmed Sabine's breast and stroked with his thumb until he felt her nipple harden. Sabine played with the waistline of his boxer briefs, her hands soft and warm against his lower abs.

"I want you, now," she said in a fervent voice.

"You have no idea how much I want to be inside you," he replied, his breath hot against her cheek.

"But I do," she countered with a smile and he grinned back at her as they felt each other's want.

With one hand, Sabine reached lower, stroking his shaft as they continued to kiss. He grabbed her other hand, kissing the pads of her fingers before letting it go again. McCoy took in the sight of her with eager eyes. She was beautiful, confident, and sensual as she rolled her stomach and hips, moving slowly against him. His hands were in her hair, skimming her breasts, grabbing her hip – he was overwhelmed by how she felt, smelled, sounded, and tasted. She mewled as he thrust his hips in rhythm with her own movements. Once he let her hand go, she focused her attentions to gently freeing his cock from his underwear and stroking him. Both of them could think of nothing other than their desire to be together, to please one another, to be lost in –

The comm burst into action and Jim's voice filled the room.

"Bones!"

"Mais, merde!" Sabine muttered, as the two of them froze in place, mirror expressions of surprise and frustration on their faces.

McCoy reluctantly pulled away from her and out of bed, walking quickly to the comm, cursing Jim's existence the entire way.

"What now?" he barked.

"Cass is gone," Jim replied, the stress in his voice unmistakable.

McCoy and Sabine gave each other a look.

"What do you mean, she's gone?" McCoy asked while Sabine looked for Cass's telepathic signal and came up with nothing.

"I mean, she's not here on the Enterprise and one of our shuttles is missing. I think you might've been the last one to see her. She say anything to you about leaving?"

McCoy thought back. Maybe she hadn't been joking about having other plans after all. Still, that wasn't exactly a statement that she was leaving the ship.

"She didn't tell me she was leaving," he told the captain.

"Well, that's just great," Jim muttered. "Meet me in the conference room in fifteen minutes. Bring Latour if you see her. She's not answering in her quarters."

"That's 'cuz she's here with me. We'll both be right there," McCoy replied wearily, ending the comm before Jim could comment on what he and Sabine were doing together in his quarters this early in the morning.

He returned to the bed, sitting down next to Sabine as she pulled herself up into a sitting position.

"Why would Cass leave?" he asked her.

"I have no idea," she replied.

They stared at one another, at a loss of words over Cass's unannounced and sudden departure.

"Jim's gonna kill her for taking one of the shuttles," McCoy finally grumbled.

Sabine snorted. Somehow, she knew Cass was okay. She hoped she'd be able to convey that to Jim and Spock in the meeting. It was hard to explain how telepathic connections worked sometimes. A lot of it felt like gut instincts.

"The next time he interrupts us, I am pulling that damn comm out of the wall," she threatened.

"I love when you talk dirty," McCoy replied in jest, leaning in to kiss her.

"Mmm-hmm" she purred in the most alluring way, her eyes twinkling. "After I take out the comm, I am going to disable the doors."

"Oh God, yes," he played along. "More, give me more."

"I will turn off our personal communicators," she continued seductively.

"Oh baby, don't stop now," he replied with a wicked grin.

"I will even turn off our PADDs," she whispered, licking her lips.

He cocked an eyebrow at her and made a mock cry of pleasure and Sabine burst into giggles. "Spock!" she cried out between laughs.

"Hey now! Don't you dare go callin' me Spock," he said in mock protest, scooping her into his arms and kissing her deeply.

After they kissed, Sabine smiled at him. "I love you," she sighed.

"I was crazy about you in spite of the false memories," he told her as he rested his head on top of hers. "I'm not sure there's a word strong enough for what I feel for you now."

"We can make our own word for it," she whispered. "You mean more to me than you could ever know." She paused, and in a more mischievous voice, continued, "And if we do not get to have undisturbed sex soon…."

"I'll tear this ship apart removing every comm if I have to – you and I are gonna get more than ten minutes to ourselves one of these days," he replied, kissing her forehead as she laughed.

"Do we need more than ten?" she teased and he pinched her lightly.

"Darlin', when I'm done with you, you're gonna need at least a day to recover."

"Big words," she replied. "I look forward to seeing how true they are."

He nuzzled her neck gently but she pulled away before he could get too frisky.

"We have to find Cass," she said.

"I know," he agreed.

He dressed quickly and they left his quarters to stop by hers so she could get into uniform as well before proceeding to meet Jim and the others in the conference room.


	112. Chapter 112

Upon Doctors McCoy and Latour entering the conference room, Spock's head snapped up and he stared at them. Scotty and Hendorff continued to talk amongst themselves, paying little heed to the two doctors besides to nod and smile at them as they took their seats.

Spock knows.

_About what?_

He can feel the connection between us.

_How?_

As a telepath, he can sense when other telepaths are around. He can also sense when they are connected. A lifebond is a powerful thing.

_Why didn't he sense it before now?_

Mmm, I am not sure. Perhaps because, on a conscious level, neither of us was aware of it. You had access to my abilities through it but you did not use them heavily. The things you did – building barriers around your mind, blocking others – those things do not take much mental power. They take a great amount of skill, but not much telepathic energy.

_He knew the truth this whole time, right?_

Yes. He and Jim….and I shared it with Nyota several months ago. Geoff has known since we started working together on Yorktown. And Scotty knows I am from the past, though he does not know the details.

_Jesus, was there anyone besides me on this ship who had no clue?_

Yes – approximately 423 other people. Calm down.

_I am perfectly calm._

She smiled. Sabine loved when he grumbled and growled. Jim entered the room and sat down at the head of the table, sighing deeply, a man at his wits' end.

"Okay everyone. I got a hold of Cass," he began, fatigue permeating his words. "She says she'll meet us on Nara II. She won't tell me why she left and took one of our shuttles to boot."

"You think she's up to no good?" McCoy asked.

"Your guess is as good as mine," Jim answered. "She told me she left the cruiser here so we'd know she was coming back but…" He threw his hands up as if to say, "Who knows?" or "I give up." Probably a combination of both, Sabine thought to herself.

"So do you want me to assemble a security detail to go after her?" Hendorff asked.

"Yes, but sit tight for now," Jim sighed. "Let's give her time and see what she's up to."

"Captain," Spock interjected. "Do you really think that's wise?"

"I don't know, Spock. I don't want to scare her off but I also really don't want her getting into trouble in our shuttle."

"Cap'n, I can monitor the shuttle and tell you where she's goin'," Scotty piped up.

"And that's exactly what I want you to do. Tell me her every move. And Hendorff, if I think she'd gonna do something stupid or dangerous, I'll want you and your team ready to go," Jim replied. He looked over at Sabine.

"Did she say anything to you? Reach out in any way?"

"No sir," Sabine answered. She supposed she should tell Jim that Cass had, in fact, reached out. But that had been to help with McCoy and that was a conversation for after the meeting.

Jim looked at McCoy. "And she didn't say anything to you last night at dinner?"

"Not a word," McCoy replied.

"Alright, everyone. While we're here – Bones, you guys didn't find anything on the cruiser yesterday?"

"No. I'm guessing our mystery man wiped the place clean after he turned off the systems."

"He seemed to be very aware of the holovid," Sabine added. "I watched it a few more times yesterday and he does a very good job keeping his face from view except for that one moment."

"Noted," Jim stated. "Scotty, what do you have on the distress beacon or the location of other ships in the area?"

"Nothing on the beacon yet but I did find an automatic entry in the logs. Another commercial vessel was close to Cass's when the intruder beamed on her ship. I cannae tell you when he left, or when the other vessel took off, but we know both were gone when we arrived."

"Can you ID the vessel?"

"I'm runnin' tests to see what information I can get right now, Cap'n."

Jim nodded. "Alright. Well, that's it for now. If anyone hears from Cass, I wanna know." The table nodded their agreement and everyone stood to depart.

"Doctors, Captain," Spock said, looking at both Sabine and McCoy. "A word, if you please."

Sabine shot McCoy a knowing look and Jim looked at them in confusion as Hendorff and Scotty left the room. Sabine and McCoy returned to their seats.

"What's up, Spock?" Jim asked, agitated.

"I believe the doctors have something they would like to share with us," he replied, giving Sabine a significant glance.

"Oh for god's sake," McCoy groused.

"Would you rather I speculate on what is going on?" Spock asked.

"No, this is fine," Sabine said hurriedly, trying to curtail yet another argument between the two men. "We can tell you what is happening." She looked at McCoy for his approval and he gave her an exasperated nod.

"First, Doctor McCoy has regained his rightful memories. He knows the truth," Sabine said cautiously. She watched the reactions of Jim and Spock. While the Vulcan's facial expression did not change, Jim broke out into a huge grin.

"You serious?" he asked, and both doctors nodded at him. "That's great! This is the first piece of good news I've had today."

"How was this accomplished?" Spock asked, wasting no time on niceties.

Sabine looked at McCoy and raised an eyebrow when he met her gaze.

"Cass and Latour helped me. Last night. We were up most of the night, what with rearranging things in my head."

Jim looked at the two doctors, still delighted, but with a trace of concern. "Everything turned out okay?"

Sabine nodded while McCoy replied, "Yeah, I think so."

"When did Cass leave your room?" Jim asked.

McCoy looked at Sabine for the answer – he'd had no real sense of time once Cass had knocked him out with the sedative.

"She left sometime before 2300 hours," Sabine answered. "There is one other thing," she added. "And I imagine that is why Spock asked us to stay and talk."

"What is it?" Jim asked, full of curiosity.

McCoy nodded at Sabine to continue. "It would appear that Doctor McCoy has been able to access my abilities for quite some time now, perhaps going as far back as the night I altered your memories," she began. "Because of that, he was able to block off all true recollections and protect himself from any attempts to revive those memories. Cass and I were able to overcome his defenses and, in doing so, we uncovered a connection between myself and Doctor McCoy."

"In plain language?" Jim asked.

"What the doctor is saying is that she and Doctor McCoy have a deep connection. I believe telepathic humans in your time would have referred to it as a lifebond, correct?" Spock asked.

Sabine nodded.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating," he observed.

"Wait," Jim said as he absorbed the information. "Does this mean you two are together now? Are you a telepath too?" he asked his friend.

"None of your damn business to the first question and hell if I know to the second," McCoy grumbled.

"We do not completely understand what Doctor McCoy is right now," Sabine explained. "He has access to my skills –"

"But no clue what to do with them," McCoy finished. "So don't go getting any bright ideas," McCoy warned the table. "I don't have any intention of joining your little voodoo club."

Sabine gave him a cross look. "For the time being," she said, redirecting her gaze to the other two men in the room, "it would be best to think of Doctor McCoy as a non-telepath."

Jim sat back in his chair. "I did not see this coming," he said in an undertone.

"You?" McCoy replied, also sitting back in his own seat. "How do you think I feel about this? I woke up this morning with a whole new version of the past AND I have to make sure I don't accidentally blow this ship up with my mind."

"Really?" Sabine retorted, looking at McCoy in annoyance. "You are most certainly not going to blow anything up. We have no indication that you can access my telekinesis."

"Well, this is gonna be fun. What happens if you two get in a fight?" Jim asked with a certain amount of irreverence.

"I would think you have enough to worry about already without adding imaginary arguments to the mix," Sabine practically sniffed.

"Oh come on. You guys are back together, right? That's how lifebonds work, isn't it?" Jim had a gleam in his eyes.

"No, it is not necessarily how a lifebond works," Sabine said firmly and for the first time, McCoy watched her lie with conviction. "We are the same thing we were before this – friends."

"You're telling me there's nothing there?" Jim cajoled.

"I did not say that. How could we have possibly found any time for romance with everything going on?" Sabine countered. "And you are making this all the more awkward with your questions."

Jim looked at McCoy and he shrugged his shoulders at the captain. "She's not wrong," he said simply.

"It would appear we have concluded our business here," Spock said, clearly done with the direction the conversation had taken. He rose to his feet. "If you require my assistance –"

"Yeah, yeah, I know where to find you," McCoy scoffed.

"And I'm serious – if either of you hear from Cass, notify me immediately," Jim said.

"Of course," Sabine replied while McCoy simply nodded.

They left the conference room together and McCoy looked at Sabine affectionately as they walked down the corridor.

"What?" she asked, seeing his expression and feeling his amusement.

"Who knew you could be such a good liar?" he replied, a grin spreading across his face.

"Where was the lie? We are what we were before and part of that is friends," she said patiently. They entered the turbolift together, pressing the button for the deck med bay was on.

He turned to her after the doors closed and the lift began to move. "Do friends do this?" he asked, advancing on her and taking her in his arms. He pressed her back against the wall, one hand tangled in her hair, his other hand cupping her buttocks. She wrapped her legs around him as he lifted her so their faces were aligned.

"Maybe," she replied just before he met her lips with his own.

"Like hell," he growled when they pulled apart. Before she could respond, he was kissing her again, his tongue exploring her mouth. He broke away just as the lift stopped and set her gently back on the ground. She smoothed out her uniform and the doors opened, the two doctors standing beside one another.

"After you," he said, motioning for her to go ahead.

"Thank you," she replied demurely.

* * *

"You think she's telling the truth?" Jim asked Spock after the doctors had left the conference room.

"Despite maintaining her necessary deception regarding Doctor McCoy's memories, Doctor Latour has always been truthful with us in the past," Spock replied, keeping his own assumptions regarding the nature of the two doctors' relationship to himself.

"In the past, I didn't have this many credits riding on them getting together within a week after Vorkos," Jim grumbled.

"Perhaps you should give up betting," Spock offered. He found it to be a loathsome hobby.

"Why are you so against having a little fun every now and then?" Jim asked his first officer, advancing on him. "Would it really be so bad to indulge your human side?"

"Even my human side fails to see the fun in gambling on the personal lives of others," Spock replied, imperturbable as always.

"What's it like inside that brain of yours?" Jim asked him, getting closer to Spock than he normally allowed himself.

"You know the answer, Captain, as you have seen the inside of my mind."

Jim longed to see it again.

"It's been a while," he replied to Spock. "I'm guessing it looks a little different now."

Jim wasn't sure what had come over him. Was it too much pent-up sexual energy? His frustrations with Cass running off in a shuttle so soon after her attack? The unanswered questions over said attack? His unease with what they might find out on Nara II? Whatever it was, Jim didn't want to dance around his feelings for Spock any longer. He was tired of this game they played.

"I assure you, it remains as it was the last time we shared minds. However, if you need further convincing…"

Maybe Jim wasn't the only one tired of the tension between the two men. Spock moved in closer and held his hand up to Jim's face, hesitating, wanting to receive Jim's consent.

"Do it, Spock," Jim forced out, finding it very hard to breathe all of a sudden.

Spock lined up his palm to the side of Jim's face and spoke the words Jim had been waiting to hear for what felt like an eternity.

"My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts," Spock said softly.

They were in each other's minds again. It was as exhilarating as the first time. Jim wanted to show Spock his feelings, wanted the other man to know how much Spock consumed his thoughts but before he could do anything, Uhura came over the room comms.

"Captain, we're receiving a communication from Starfleet Command. Would you like me to direct the feed to the conference room?"

Spock pulled away from Jim.

"Yes, that's fine," Jim sighed, irritated. If only he knew how many times in the past few days he'd left McCoy and Sabine with that same frustrated feeling.

Spock clasped his hands behind his back and moved to leave the room.

"Captain," he said, giving a slight nod of his head.

"Spock…" Jim started, wanting to tell Spock what he hadn't been able to show him.

"I know, Jim. And it is mutual," the Vulcan replied before leaving the room.

Jim stared after him, looking at the doors that closed behind Spock. He was only pulled away by the sound of the holoscreen coming on.


	113. Chapter 113

It had taken more than some light coaxing to get McCoy to leave med bay but Sabine had finally convinced him of the foolishness in staying through the rest of Alpha shift when he needed to be there to cover Geoff's Gamma shift and then work his own Alpha shift afterward.

"You have had almost no sleep the past two nights," she cajoled. "Rest now because you have two shifts ahead of you. I will come in early for Beta tomorrow to relieve you."

"And what about you and me?" he asked her softly, stepping towards her. They were in the privacy of his office.

"What about us? Is sharing a lifebond and having all your memories restored not enough to handle for now? Do you think I have another secret or two to share?" she asked, allowing him to put his arms around her. He ran his lips along her neck to the spot just behind her ear.

"You know that's not what I meant," he murmured, giving her earlobe a lick to make his intentions perfectly clear.

"There will be time for that, but right now, you need to sleep and I have a med bay to run." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead.

"Alright," he conceded dejectedly. "I'll go."

And he had. But McCoy couldn't sleep to save his life. There was so much rolling around in his head and he could feel her the whole time, like a shadow in the back of his mind, a presence he couldn't shake. She was doing rounds, consulting with various patients, talking to the nurses. It soothed him to know what she was doing, what she was feeling. He had a lot to absorb from the last 24 hours, above all the idea that she was exactly who he had hoped she was, exactly the woman he had longed for all those sleepless nights in the last five years. McCoy wanted Sabine – right then. He didn't want to wait another several shifts till they were alone together; he'd waited long enough. A wicked grin spread over his features. If he could feel her right now, surely she could feel him. And he was going to make her regret her dedication to her job.

Sabine was talking with a patient about their upcoming surgery when she felt the first stirrings. He was…oh God, he wasn't. But he was and she felt a ribbon of pleasure run through her as McCoy sat in his quarters, his pants unclasped, his hardening cock in his hand, envisioning her laid out on his bed. Oh, the things he would do to her.

Sabine gasped as his visions ran through her mind. The patient looked at her quizzically as she took a gulp of air mid-sentence.

"I…apologize," she choked out as his strokes grew stronger and the gratification pooled in her stomach, her own desires flaming. "Where was I?" She did her best to ignore the sensations as they washed over her.

Her cheeks grew red as he continued to stroke himself. She could feel his arousal, could see the visions he was creating. Could her body even bend like that? Was that an actual position he wanted to try? Oh God, now that, she wanted. Yes, please, more of that. She lost her train of thought once more, apologizing again to the patient.

Finally, the consult was finished. But McCoy wasn't. Oh God, she needed to be alone. He wasn't going to stop till he came and she was going to come with him. Goddamn him, did he have any idea what this was doing to her? Of course he did. He knew exactly what he was doing and she was torn between enjoying his antics and wanting to rip his head off.

As she scrambled out of the patient's room and through med bay, Chapel stopped her.

"Doctor, you're flushed. What's wrong?"

"Not now, Christine," she gasped, practically running to the office and locking the door behind her. A deep moan escaped her lips as they both climaxed and she sank to the floor of the office.

"Are you mad?" she cried out into the empty room, knowing he would hear her in his mind. "I was with a patient. I showed you how to block; you did that on purpose!"

In his room, McCoy was lying back on his bed, a satisfied grin on his face. "Don't worry, darlin'. You got through that consultation without too much problem."

"I would never do something like that to you! You would murder me if I did," she yelled, still coming down from the intense high of the shared orgasm.

She had a point and he knew it. Both of them felt the guilt flare up within him but they also felt his defiance in the face of her scolding.

"Oh no? What do you think it was like, all those months, working with you in there?" He sent her a number of memories – all the times he had taken a moment to compose himself after she brushed against him, or from watching her shimmy around the lab while researching, or from watching her bite her lip, wishing he could bite it, could take it in his own mouth.

"You have no idea how alluring you are," he said into the silence of his quarters.

"You think I did not feel the same?" she cried out. "You do not think there were countless times I wanted you but did nothing because the timing was wrong or I did not know if you would welcome it?" She threw her own memories back at him, all the times she had almost reached out to touch him, had craved feeling him against her, had watched him from across med bay with lusty desires she kept a tight lid on.

"Fair enough," he sighed as her frustrations washed over him.

"Never do that to me again," she commanded him. "I mean it – promise me now!"

He sighed. "Alright, alright. Never again. But it was good, wasn't it?"

She could feel him smiling, could picture that smirk in her head, the one that made her want to strip down for him, and she fought to keep a small grin from her face.

"It was…fine," she admitted. "But if you do that to me again while I am here in med bay, I will make you pay."

The threat in her voice wiped the grin from his face. "I'm sorry, darlin'," he whispered and she could feel the sincerity in his words. But a second later, he was back to teasing, saying in a mock serious tone: "I'll never make you come again. I promise."

Sabine groaned. "What am I going to do with you?" she whispered back. "Please go to sleep now," she asked, her tone near begging.

"Okay," he agreed and she felt silence in her mind, at last.

Sabine finished Beta shift and after a quick dinner and workout, she sank into her own bed, exhausted by everything that had happened. Upon waking up the next morning, she worked out, then quickly dressed and arrived in med bay, relieving McCoy from his double shift. He'd thanked her wearily. He hadn't slept much the day before and she made him promise her he'd head back to his quarters and get some much-needed sleep.

At the end of Beta, Sabine met the girls for dinner and drinks then made her way back to her own quarters. They would arrive on Nara II the next morning and as much as she wanted McCoy to be awake, Sabine knew she needed to be ready for what lay ahead. She took a sonic shower and was ready to crawl into bed when she heard his voice in her mind.

_Are you awake?_

* * *

McCoy woke from a deep slumber and turned to look at the clock on his nightstand. It was 22.30. Late, but not too late. He took a minute to freshen up then sat on the couch and reached out to Sabine.

No response.

But then, he felt her at the door before the chimes sounded. He ordered the doors open and she walked in, wearing a short, floral, silk robe over what he assumed was a black tank top. She didn't appear to be wearing any pants.

"You always walk around the ship half-dressed?" McCoy asked in amusement, as he appreciated the view of her legs. He was pretty sure that robe was shorter than the uniform skirt, which was quite a feat.

She said nothing in response, but her eyes were full of lust as she walked directly up to him and pushed him down onto the couch he'd been standing in front off.

"Nice to see you too," he said with a smirk as she pressed his legs apart and knelt between them then wrapped her left arm around his neck, pulling his face towards hers.

"No more banter, just action," she murmured, right before their lips met. With her free hand, she motioned to the room comm behind them and as she extended her index finger, then curled it, the wires of the comm pulled away from their circuit boards. McCoy pulled away from their kiss to look at the comm, and saw it was dismantled. He looked down at her.

"Preventative measures," she replied to his unasked question. "I will fix it in the morning." His already-hardening cock twitched at the notion of her staying till morning.

"You better. Scotty'll kill ya," he got out before her lips were on his again.

"Better that… than another interruption," she said between kisses. McCoy couldn't argue. He pulled the robe from her shoulders and confirmed that she was in a black tank top with thin straps and black lacy panties. If he hadn't already been aroused, he sure was now. They continued to kiss until she pulled away, her hands on the tops of his thighs, rubbing them as she looked at him with hooded eyes.

"So, you wanna –"

"No need to talk right now," she interrupted with a half smile, her eyes moving to his lower half. "I did not come here for deep discussions."

"I can see that," he replied, trying for wry but not quite succeeding as she removed his pants and turned her attentions, both visual and tactile, to his boxer briefs.

"Were you hoping for conversation?" she asked as she slid his boxers down his legs. He inhaled sharply.

"No," he breathed out.

"I did not think so," she said with a smile as she grabbed the hem of his nightshirt and pulled it up, rising to meet his mouth with hers. After a brief kiss, she pulled his shirt over his head. He was naked.

"You sure you're not a little overdressed now?" McCoy asked Sabine, attempting to grab her top. She swatted his hand away.

"Right now, I focus on you. There will be plenty of time to undress me later," she purred as she lowered herself back down so that she was at eye level with his now-fully erect cock.

McCoy closed his eyes and as she ran her hands up his inner thighs, his own hands worked their way into her hair.

"Sabine," he whispered as she touched his cock, gently skimming her hand from the base to the head.

She didn't reply vocally but her grasp became firmer and he could feel her warm breath on the head of his cock. His eyes snapped open and he looked down. He didn't want to miss a second of this. Her eyes were already on his face and she raised an eyebrow at him as her tongue darted out and licked the head. McCoy couldn't keep a moan from escaping his lips.

_Tell me what you want._

Oh Lordy, everything you're doing is perfect.

_Truly?_

McCoy was surprised to hear or feel any uncertainty from Sabine. She'd always been so good at this.

Darlin', this is your specialty. I've never had another woman do this like you do.

He felt the smile she would have given him if she could have.

_I want to make sure this is the best it can be. It has been so long._

McCoy realized the source of her nervousness because he had the same concerns – would he still be able to please her the way he had at the Academy? She was so much more experienced now – what if she didn't like the same things anymore? Their attempts at intimacy over the past few days had been immensely enjoyable, interruptions aside. But this was it – there would, any and all gods willing, be no intrusions this time. And the added facet of sharing a connection made both of them all the more intimidated. Objectively they both knew it was silly for them to worry. They fit together now better than they ever had. But he couldn't fault her for a moment of performance anxiety. What he could do was assure her she had no need to worry. He gave her hair a tug.

Stop for a second.

She pulled away and looked up at him in confusion and apprehension. Without a word, he pulled her up and crushed his lips against hers. Their tongues wrapped around one another, while they held one another closely. Finally, McCoy drew away and cupped her cheeks in his hands.

"You are the best thing to ever happen to me. Don't doubt yourself for a second," he said, looking in her eyes with an intensity she'd never seen before.

Sabine smiled at him, a genuine smile, and he felt the contentment in her mind. She sank back down to her knees and resumed her previous actions. She licked his shaft from base to tip to lubricate it, then stroked him as she used her tongue on his head, licking and sucking. As he began to buck his hips, she took his cock deeper into her mouth. He grabbed handfuls of her curly hair in both fists, trying to exercise as much restraint as he could but his control was being destroyed with every thrust into her warm mouth. She knew it too. She met his eyes with her own, repeatedly, winking at him. At one point, she caught his gaze and licked the head of his cock like it was ice cream, a sensuous "Mmmm," coming from deep in her throat.

All the while, their emotions – pleasure, lust, desire, love – ricocheted back and forth to one another through the bond, heightening the experience till it was almost sensory overload. It was sex in stereo.

"Goddamn, Sabine," he gasped. She responded by cupping his balls in her hand and just when he thought she'd outdone herself, she stroked him, moved her mouth lower, licking and kissing his shaft and then gently, so gently, taking one side of his ballsack into her mouth then doing the same with the other. He groaned loudly and she turned her attention back to his cock. She knew he was close so she took him into her mouth, allowing him to thrust deeper and deeper into her throat. With every thrust of his hips, she took more in. He still had handfuls of her hair in his grasp but he didn't force her head down, knowing she would satisfy his need without his help. And she did. His thrusts became erratic and she could tell by the hissing sounds he was making as he breathed that he was about to come. When he came, she had taken all of him into her mouth, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. Sabine swallowed his hot release, savoring the twitches and thrusts he made as he emptied himself into her throat. Once he stopped moving against her mouth and began to soften, she helped clean him off and he silently swore to God, bourbon, and his pa's grave that he would never let her out of his life again.

"I told you you'd be amazing," he murmured to her as he pulled her off the floor and into his lap.

"I just wanted to please you," she replied. "It has been a while."

"Too damn long," he growled against her ear. Without another word he picked her up, carrying her in his arms to the bed and setting her down gently before sitting down next to her.

"Now about these pesky clothes," he whispered as he pulled her camisole over her head.

"Yes, I know you are a firm advocate for equality in nudity," she sighed as he softly pushed her so she was lying down on the bed and then lifted her backside so he could peel her panties off of her. She propped herself up on her elbows as he looked her over from head to toe, his eyes displaying a wolfish approval.

Sabine had learned a lot about what made a person sexy when she'd lived on Nara II. She'd learned to present herself in the best light, positioning her body at its most favorable angles. She'd learned to "fake it till you make it," i.e., pretend to feel alluring, to be the sex kitten others wanted until it became second nature to think of yourself that way. When she'd been with Aubrey, she'd learned even more about how far a confident, playful attitude and willingness to try could go in the bedroom. But as sexy as she'd felt numerous other times in her life, nothing made her feel as desirable as the look McCoy was giving her. His obvious approval of her body, presented without panache, angles be damned, warmed her insides and further ignited a fire that had been simmering as she'd attended to his needs first. He wanted her, she wanted him, and the knowledge of just how excited they were to be naked together for the first time in so many years brought a flush to her cheeks and a light to her eyes that no amount of training could teach.

And McCoy wasn't the only one appreciating his lover's body. Sabine did nothing to hide her own approving gaze as she took in the details she'd been too busy to notice while between his legs at the couch. He was as handsome as he'd ever been – as was the case for many men, he'd only gotten better with age. His hair was thick and unkempt from sleeping, but she loved it messy. His hazel eyes were as soulful as they'd been the first time they'd met. And his lips – they were so thick – pillowy was the word that came to her mind whenever she looked at them. She loved every part of his face, had memorized it, conjuring up his various expressions when she had so often found herself missing him during their separation. His body had grown more toned in space – discontent with being trapped in a flying tin can of death, McCoy had decided to do something productive with his pent-up emotions and had begun working out more consistently on the Enterprise than he ever had at the Academy and it showed. Sabine didn't care much one way or another – she had always appreciated how he felt against her – but the new definition in his abs was certainly nothing she would complain about. She skimmed his shoulders with her hand, then glided it down his chest to his lower abdomen. She had waited so long to be able to touch him like this – to reclaim him for her own.

He let her touch him as he drank in the sight of her. After she'd reached the trail of hair that led to where she'd just finished devoting her labors, he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips.

"My turn," he whispered against her fingers, bringing her palm to his mouth and kissing it softly. She shivered with pleasure and he smiled.

"After all this time, you still can't hide how sensitive your palms are," he teased.

"Why should I hide it?" she countered playfully. "I thought you would want to know how much I enjoy your touch."

"You always were the smarter one," he replied with a grin.

He leaned over her and she lowered herself flat onto the mattress. He straddled her body effortlessly and smoothed her hair away from her forehead, planting a kiss on her hairline. Slowly, he worked his way down her face, her neck, to the valley between her breasts, stopping there to divide his attentions between both breasts, his hands on one while his mouth was on the other. Once he'd provoked her nipples sufficiently, he switched sides, his mouth now on the one he'd fondled, with his fingers tweaking the other. His tongue swirled around her pebbled nipple before he sucked on it and she moaned in happy frustration.

After a few minutes, he moved down from her breasts, kissing the flat plane of her stomach while his hands stroked the outside of her lower ribcage, down to her waist and then over her hips. He moved lower and her breath caught in anticipation of where he was heading. He stopped and rose up from her body. He met her confused look with a smile.

"Just need a pillow," he explained, grabbing the one she wasn't resting her head against. Once more he lifted her backside, this time placing the pillow beneath it and she sighed contentedly. He moved, repositioning himself so she was splayed out and he was kneeling between her legs. His hands were on her knees and he rubbed them softly, moving to the underside of them and drawing goosebumps from her flesh as he moved his hands up, caressing the oft-ignored erogenous zone of her inner thighs. He lowered his head and his mouth joined his hands in his ministrations. But he teased her, working his way repeatedly up her inner thighs without moving to her center. She wanted it – begged him through their connection to keep going. He had other ideas, abruptly pulling away from her and bringing her legs into a bent position, his hands on the soles of her feet. He rubbed her feet before bringing them to his lips and kissing each toe. Sabine had always been somewhat self-conscious of her feet because she had been so hard on them as a dancer. But watching him touch her, seeing the near-reverence in the way he handled her did something to her. A moan of pleasure escaped her and he smiled. After attending to both feet, McCoy resumed his focus on the area between her legs.

McCoy wasn't going to rush. As far as he was concerned, they had the whole damn night. Sleep was nothing compared to this. Meanwhile, Sabine was ready to climax. Going down on him had left her wet and his further attentions meant she was ready for release as soon as he'd grant it to her. But he'd made it clear that permission would not come quickly and she did her best to be patient. However, as he slowly trailed one finger from her bud to her opening, hovering there before slowly entering her, she whimpered, her patience holding on by a thread. Moaning, she pressed herself against his hand, desperate for more. She looked down to see a wicked grin on his face.

"You will pay for this," she threatened.

"Darlin', you had your time to play and now it's mine," he replied before dipping his head lower to touch his tongue to her bud. She cried out in pleasure, ready for him to lick and suck but he pulled away, tantalizing her.

"Just think how good this will feel when you come," he cajoled.

"If you ever let me," she gasped.

He laughed and returned to his task. He added a second finger inside her but despite her attempts to guide his fingers to that patch of skin on her inner wall which would push her over the edge, he thrust slowly and withdrew them completely over and over as she whimpered her dismay. As much as he wanted to prolong her climax, he found it hard to continue the slow pace once he buried his face against her. He wanted to lick and suck her as badly as she wanted it. Soon, he was fingering her deeply, adding a third finger inside her and sucking on her with everything he had. As she writhed against him, her moans turning into cries, he began switching his face and fingers between her clit and her warm, wet center. She tasted tart yet sweet and he reveled in the way she moved against him. She came more than once but he was too wrapped up in his own enjoyment to keep track – it sufficed that she was pleased. And he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, from her feelings, her cries and curses, the blasphemies that flowed from her mouth when she was too far gone to know what she was saying, and the way her body had clenched around his fingers, that she was beyond happy.

When he had exhausted his efforts, he pulled away to catch his breath. Her hands, which had been tangled in his hair for several minutes, yanked gently and he rose up to meet her face with his own. They kissed without any conversation, expressing their mutual delight and gratitude silently.

While driving her over the brink, he'd had time to become erect again. Their kisses grew deeper, the intent moving from gratitude to desire once more. She wrapped her legs around him, resting them high on his hips to allow him more depth when he penetrated her. His erection wedged hot and eager between their bodies. He thrust against her, teasing up and down her cleft.

"No more teasing," she begged him breathlessly. "I want you too much."

"I promise, darlin'. I couldn't hold out on you anymore even if I wanted to," he replied, equally out of breath.

McCoy moved slowly, in steady deepening thrusts as she helped guide him in, and they both gasped at the sensations. He took his time, as he'd done all evening, savoring the feel, the sight of her beneath him, the smell, and the sound, tasting her mouth every time she sought his lips, and when not kissing, tasting the sweaty saltiness of her shoulder or her neck. For the past five years, sex had been nothing but a transaction for McCoy – its sole purpose had been to give him physical release. But this – feeling himself inside her, her body drawing him deeper still with each thrust, her hips canting up to meet him – this was what he had craved even when the thought of her had turned his stomach for all those years. He'd longed for this intimacy, this complete consummation of himself in her. For her part, Sabine was a jumble of contradictions. He had total control over her but somehow she'd never felt so powerful or desirable. She felt exquisite pleasure and a slight discomfort in taking so much of him into herself. At any moment, she realized she might lose control over her emotions – she could end up crying, laughing, or screaming – but at the same time, she'd never felt more certain she was making the right decision. He belonged with her, in her, just like this.

McCoy kept the pace of his thrusts steady, even while part of him wanted nothing more than to fuck her as hard and fast as he could. He knew this would take longer and the payoff would be worth it. Sabine could feel his conflict over how he should fuck her and it made her shiver to feel how much he wanted her.

She slid one of her hands between their bodies, bringing it down to where he was joined with her. Sabine gasped with pleasure as she felt him move deeper into her and then partially withdraw, only to push back deeper inside on the next thrust. McCoy enjoyed the sensation of her fingers brushing his slick cock as he thrust.

Her thoughts and feelings flooded his mind with every thrust, just as his flooded her. Each of them could hear the southern drawl of his Standard mixing with her Parisian French until it was a single, joined language made up of feelings and memories, words just an accessory to emphasize the points being made with every move of their bodies.

They glided against each other in harmony, their bodies pushing down and rising up to one another as if a part of some unheard symphony. Neither could hold the other one tight enough, could kiss the other deeply enough. He moved his fingers down to rub and stroke her as she began to crest again and he felt her shiver as she fell apart in his arms, her cries a mix of awe and delight. The hand she had down there sought his and, fingers interlaced, they both continued to rub her. With her other hand, she dug her nails into his back as he thrust more aggressively, his own climax moments away. He was calling out her name without awareness of what he was saying and the only thought in his head was how much he loved her, how much he'd always loved her, how much he would love her until he took his dying breath. And finally, he felt his release come and he welcomed it as he poured himself into her.

In the aftermath, they curled into one another, fatigued but satisfied in a way neither had felt for years. Conversation was hushed, filled with gentle words of love. They held each other close, and even though they could have slept with the languor that had overcome them, they stayed awake, wanting nothing more than to be present with the other. And as they talked, the seriousness of the conversation gave way to playing, which gave way to flirting and once more, they found themselves reaching for each other, touching each other in the most intimate places.

As he tugged her atop him, McCoy grinned at Sabine.

"I've got every intention of keeping you up all night, having you in as many positions as I can think of."

She smiled back as she remembered a similar "threat" he'd issued to her the day before.

"We reach Nara II tomorrow," she replied, riding him slowly. "I should sleep so I am ready."

"Is that really what you want?" he asked, his hands grasping her body as he enjoyed watching her breasts bounce with every roll of her hips against him.

"No," she admitted. "You know I will not leave this room until I have to."

And she didn't. They remained together the entire night. In the morning their bodies were sore, baring tell-tale marks of pleasure left by one another. It was early when she arose to leave for her own quarters because she wanted to make her escape before the corridors of the ship would be populated.

"I must prepare for the visit," she said wistfully as he helped her find the meager bits of clothing she'd shown up in. She winced as she stretched, sore from everything they'd done in the course of the night and from across the room, McCoy smiled, feeling her soreness combined with his own.

"Told ya you were gonna need a day to recover," he said and she gave him a look but her emotions belied it. She was more than content to spend a day sore if it meant she got to have a night like the one they'd shared.

Sabine toyed with the comm, attempting to fix it as she'd promised him. She didn't want their night of passion to end but this time would be different than the last. This time, they'd find their way to one another's beds again. No more memory shenanigans.

Between bouts of love-making, they had discussed Nara II at length. Once Jim had learned McCoy remembered everything, he'd brought the doctor up to speed on what to expect from their visit. The only people allowed to be a part of the away team were those who knew Sabine's full past – those who would understand the significance of the ransacked Resurrection collection and the stolen device – Jim, Spock, Uhura, and now McCoy. But McCoy would stay on the ship until Cass reappeared.

"I'll be by later on with a tracker," he replied, kissing her forehead. She smiled. Every time an away team left to go planetside, it was med bay's job to inject trackers within each member of the team. That McCoy would make a personal stop by her quarters was protocol – he would be doing the same for the rest of the team. But it was also one more chance to be alone before she left.

"You are sure you do not want to join us?" she asked him.

"I'll join you once Cass meets up with us," he replied.

"Okay," she agreed, hoping Cass would make good on her promise to meet them within the next day or so.


	114. Chapter 114

"Mister Scott, what do you have for me?" Jim asked his chief engineer.

"Cap'n, as far as I can tell, she visited one constitution class cruiser and after that, the shuttle's just been parked right here, in the middle of the Alpha Quadrant," Scotty replied, pointing to the star map on which he'd been tracking Cass's movements.

"What are you doing, Cass?" Jim asked under his breath.

"Captain, Mister Scott," came a familiar voice from behind him and Jim felt himself blush despite his best efforts to remain unflappable. He hadn't interacted much with Spock since their moment in the conference room the day before.

"Mister Scott, if you would check this list against the crew roster for the ship Miss Pike visited and let us know whether any names correspond, that would be most useful," Spock requested. Jim took a look at the list as Spock passed the PADD to Scotty.

"That's not a bad idea, Spock. How'd you come up with it?" Jim asked the Vulcan with appreciation.

"As Miss Pike, and many other Betazoids I have met, seem to be very similar to humans, I focused on what an emotional, illogical being would do in her situation. This seemed to be the most…logical…of the options presented."

"But why's she just sitting oot there in space?" Scotty grumbled.

"If you monitor the communications leaving the shuttle," Spock speculated, "I believe you will find she is using the shuttle to contact various ships and bases."

"Aye, she's certainly been active on the shuttle comms," Scotty confirmed as he switched the screen in front of the men from the star chart to a listing of the shuttle's comms. "I cannae access the comms themselves – she's changed the codes for direct comm access. But I can get the list of where she's sending communications."

"Scotty, cross-reference that list Spock gave you with each base and ship Cass has contacted. I'm guessing you'll find every name accounted for," Jim demanded. "As for you and me, we need to prepare for the visit to Nara II," he said to Spock. The Vulcan nodded in response.

"Sir, she's movin'!" Scotty cried out to the departing captain and at the same time, Jim's comm chirped at him. He walked back over to the console where Scotty was tracking Cass, and flipped his comm open.

"We're watching you right now," he greeted Cass.

"So much for a big surprise, then," she replied.

"Did you do what I think you did?" he asked her.

"Depends. I'm almost scared to guess what you think I might have done," Cass responded wryly.

"Are you bringing some guests back with you?" Jim asked by way of informing her of Spock's theory.

"Yes, yes I am. And more are on the way."

"We'll be ready for you all. I'm headed planetside in a couple of hours. Join us when you can."

"Sounds good. Thanks for letting me borrow the shuttle."

"Yeah, we're gonna have a long conversation about that later," Jim retorted.

The friends hung up and Jim turned to Scotty. "Keep an eye on her – she ought to be here by midday. And whatever else you do, lock all the shuttles so she can't grab one again."

"Aye, Cap'n."

* * *

"Sabine," McCoy called out after the doors to her quarters closed behind him.

"Just a minute," she called back to him from her bathroom. "You know, you should be careful. Call me by my first name in front of other crew members and everyone will figure out we are together."

"Don't worry. I know which name –" Sabine walked out of the bathroom and McCoy's retort died on his lips. She was something to behold.

"My God," he murmured appreciatively.

Sabine had straightened her hair and dyed it in pastel blues, purples, and pinks, just as she had worn it when she lived on Nara II. She'd replicated light purple contacts for her eyes (easier than dying them) as well as a Naralian shift. Standing in front of McCoy in her diaphanous dress, with her hair and eyes changed, she felt his gaze rove over her from top to bottom.

"Well?" she asked him when his eyes finally met hers again.

"Darlin', I don't suppose you can hold onto that get-up after this mission's over? Maybe show up one night in full Naralian?" he requested, his eyes full of lust.

"Mmm, Doctor McCoy, do you have a hooker fetish?" she teased him with a half smile playing on her lips.

"I didn't before now," he replied. "And I believe the proper term is courtesan."

"Indeed," she answered, moving to her dresser and grabbing a dagger off of it. She parted the folds of her gossamer robe and slipped the dagger into a garter on her thigh. "Never can be too careful," she said as McCoy took a significant gulp of air.

"So, I've… got the tracker," McCoy finally stammered, shaking his head to bring himself to his senses.

"Excellent," Sabine replied, holding out her arm for him to inject it under her skin. He touched her softly, holding her arm in one hand as he lined the hypo up with the other. In a second, the tracker had been implanted. He continued to hold her arm, rubbing it softly after he'd put the hypo away.

"You need to visit the others still?" she murmured as she stepped closer to him.

"Been by to see Uhura and Jim already," he replied in a low voice. "Just need to stop by Spock's quarters."

McCoy had thought seeing Nyota in her Naralian costume would've prepared him to see Sabine. And while the communications officer had been a vision of loveliness with her seafoam tresses and butter-colored dress, it still hadn't prepared him for the devastating beauty of the woman before him.

"We have some time then?" she asked, her now-amethyst eyes sparkling up at him.

"Of course," he answered, his voice still husky. "I wanted to give you a proper goodbye." He slid his hand from her arm to her back, pulling her close.

"You could tell me about this new courtesan fantasy you have," she whispered in his ear as she stood on her tip-toes.

"Oh darlin', I don't know if we have  _that_  much time," he practically crooned in response, his hands on her body, able to feel the heat radiating off her skin through the chiffon-like layers of fabric that made up her gown. They tumbled onto her bed without further pretense.

"This dress is designed for easy access," she informed him as he explored her bosoms with his hands and mouth. In his opinion, an empire waistline did wonders for her already-phenomenal breasts.

"Maybe we can remove the knife first?" came a tentative suggestion from McCoy as Sabine laughed and pulled him closer with one hand while she removed the knife with the other.

Just as she'd told him, the folds of her dress parted just under the bodice, and her body was exposed to him. He looked down at her flat stomach, the lacy panties and her bare legs and she felt his desire flare up. She shifted her lower body off the mattress, an invitation to him to remove her underwear, but instead, he slid his hand inside her panties.

"We don't have much time, sweetheart," he said wistfully. "This won't be my finest work."

She was busy undoing the clasps on his pants, pulling them down his legs and freeing his cock from his boxers.

"After so long without you, any moment together est magnifique," she whispered as she kissed his jaw.

He dragged his fingers along her already-slick cleft, moaning in appreciation of her excitement. She stroked the length of him, savoring how hard and heavy he was in her hand. She arched beneath him so her breasts pressed against his chest. Through the light material of her dress and bra, he could feel her hard nipples.

McCoy swirled his thumb over her mound and Sabine gasped. He slid two fingers inside her, her wetness offering no resistance. He groaned in approval. Sabine rubbed her thumb over the head of his cock, and feeling the precum, she licked her lips.

She cried out as his fingers played over her clit and he swallowed her cry in a kiss, rough and thorough. She rocked her hips against him and he responded, his hips moving in rhythm with her motions. She pumped him, her fingers tight around his shaft.

"Fuck, Sabine," he whispered, "that feels good."

She smiled, continuing her ministrations. He redoubled his efforts on her, his fingers thrusting deeper while he used the heel of his hand against her bud. His hips bucked against her, his thrusts becoming erratic.

"Come for me, love," she whispered.

"Only if you come for me," he replied. She moved against his hand in short bursts, the first wave of her orgasm hitting her. Her lips trembled and she held his gaze as the waves washed over her. Watching her was all McCoy needed to send himself over the edge, and he came, shooting his spend all over her belly. She kept her hand on him, stroking till she had milked him fully.

He collapsed next to her, catching his breath before grabbing a towel off the floor, next to the bed, and cleaning her off.

"I've made a mess of you," he said with a smile as he tossed the towel aside and tangled his hands in her hair. She smiled at him softly.

"I have been a mess from the moment I first saw you," she replied. "But it is a beautiful mess and I would have it no other way."

"I love you, darlin'," McCoy told her, his tone gentle but his eyes full of fire.

"You have my heart," she promised him. "Always and forever." They kissed and McCoy pulled away reluctantly.

"I have to go," he said.

"I know. And I need to put myself back together."

* * *

In the transporter room, an hour later, two women dressed as Naralians, and two men in plain clothes, one with a hat to hide his ears and eyebrows, stepped onto the platform.

"Cap'n," Scotty addressed Jim but what he was saying was for the good of the group. "I'll beam you down to the coordinates provided by Doctor Latour."

"We should end up in front of the Grand House of Madame Bianye," Sabine added.

"Good. And keep me posted on Cass," Kirk asked Scotty. "Bones, you'll join us once she regroups with the ship?"

"Sure, Jim," the doctor replied, doing an admirable job of keeping his eyes off Sabine.

Official business taken care of, the four members of the away team stood in their designated spots and waited for the transporter beams to engulf them. Seconds later, they materialized exactly where Sabine had predicted.

"Shall we?" she asked the others as she began to ascend the stairs to the large mansion. They would meet Madame Bianye there and go with her to the Archives. The madam was, as she had always been, gracious and gentle with the away party, charming both Nyota and Jim within minutes of meeting them. But she had news for them that instantly set the group on edge.

"I am delighted to see you all. The past few days have not been good," Madame Bianye announced after introductions had been made.

"What is wrong?" Sabine asked. "Has something more happened since we last spoke?"

"Yes, dear. It's awful. For the first two nights after the Archives break-in, courtesans in several different houses were attacked in a most brutal way. We've had to close all the houses for the foreseeable future. Which means I have plenty of room to accommodate you while you're planetside."

Sabine felt horrible. Her concerns about placing Nara II in danger turned out to be valid, even if it was several years later.

"Have the attacks stopped?" Jim asked.

"Well, yes, but I assume it's only because we have suspended all transactions between courtesans and paying clients," the madam answered.

"So you think the people who committed these crimes may still be on the planet?" Nyota asked.

"I believe so. We have enforced a stricter protocol for getting on and off the planet since the Archives were ransacked," the madam said with a trace of uncertainty.

"But you are not convinced," Sabine prompted.

"I don't know, my child. We are not a people known for conflict and I worry that we are not prepared to contain whoever these brutes may be."

"Madame, we will do everything we can to help you," Sabine assured the Naralian, even as she felt considerable doubt inside her regarding their unknown enemy. She looked to Jim for reassurance.

"Doctor Latour is right. You have the full support of my ship and crew, and the Federation for which we serve," he added, with just the right amount of Jim Kirk swagger.

Without further hand-wringing, the madam insisted on taking the away team to the Archives because she could sense their eagerness to get to work. As the group walked to the Archives together, Spock fell behind with Sabine.

"What is it?" Sabine asked him, sensing something on his mind.

"I must admit to a certain discomfort with how freely Naralians use their telepathic abilities to influence others," the Vulcan answered.

Sabine thought about Spock's complaint before answering. "You think it is wrong for Naralians to put others at ease?"

"Do you believe that is all they do?" Spock replied with his own question.

"I realize they use their abilities to make others feel more positive emotions. I do not believe they manipulate for untoward reasons," Sabine explained.

"And I would argue determining what is good versus bad when it comes to mental manipulation is a dangerous path to go down," Spock countered.

"Naralians have remained on the right side of that line for centuries," Sabine argued, her mouth pursing itself into a moue.

Before they could continue their disagreement, the party had arrived at the Archives.

"To our knowledge, every piece of the Resurrection Collection has been accounted for," the curator explained as he walked the group down to the basement. "However, we would welcome your inspection," he directed this to Sabine, "to see if there is anything out of place or damaged since your last visit."

It had taken Sabine and Adjoa several visits to examine every part of the collection when they'd lived on Nara II. Sabine hoped she remembered enough to be useful. The curator showed the group holos of the crime scene as it had been found, noting exactly where items had been strewn about.

"May we inquire into the devices that were taken?" Spock asked after the curator showed them holos of the empty container it had been removed from.

"Of course. Madame, your input is welcome, should I forget anything," the curator replied with a nod to the other Naralian.

"We called these devices 'trainers,'" he began. "They were meant to be used while teaching young Naralians how to use their telepathic skills. The trainer can record a telepath's thoughts and memories."

"Could it do the same for a non-telepath?" Sabine asked with a mixture of interest and dread.

"I suppose so, though we never tried it," the curator answered thoughtfully.

"How many memories and thoughts can it absorb in one use?" Jim inquired.

"I don't know," the curator replied. "Their primary use was to discourage younger telepaths from overstepping their bounds. Any memory copies were used merely to illustrate when a mistake had been made by the telepath. I don't know that anyone ever tried to test the limits of the trainers."

"Surely when it was being made, capacity tests would have been done," Spock posited.

"Of course," the curator agreed. "Perhaps the best thing would be to set up a meeting with the inventor?"

Jim and Spock decided to visit the inventor and Madame Bianye offered to go with them once an afternoon appointment had been scheduled. The willingness of Naralians to meet their needs as quickly and thoroughly as they could continued to impress Jim and even Spock was slowly coming around.

Left to themselves, with countless boxes to go through, Sanine and Nyota got to work, sifting through the Resurrection Collection, looking for any clues or signs of damage.

"So, you're glowing," Nyota said with a sly smile. "Wanna tell me anything?"

Sabine rolled her eyes. "We are here to work," she admonished the other woman.

"Doesn't mean we can't talk at the same time," Ny replied. "Come on, spill the beans. Jim and Spock might be oblivious but I saw how Len was avoiding making eye contact with you in the transporter room before we left."

"You do not miss much, do you?"

"That's why I'm so good at my job," Ny replied. "Now talk or I'll just make up my own story and spread it around the ship."

"You would never!"

"Try me. I promise, whatever you tell me stays between us. But say nothing and you have no such assurance."

Sabine narrowed her eyes at the other woman. "You are the worst," she complained.

"And you love it. Come on, clock's ticking," Nyota replied.

"Fine. We are together," Sabine admitted.

"I knew it!" Ny squealed, knocking over a pile of documents in her rush to hug Sabine. The force of her hug and her evident joy made Sabine giggle.

"Tell me EVERYTHING," she implored as she pulled away and tidied the mess she'd made.

Sabine briefly explained what had happened since Vorkos, answering Nyota's questions along the way. Eventually the women fell into a happy silence, reviewing the Resurrection I collection.

After several hours, they both heard a familiar voice coming their way, arguing with the curator.

"Yeah, well, even if I'm not human, he is. AND he has every right to see the collection."

Both women looked up and Sabine smiled. Cass would find a way to pick an argument with a member of one of the most peaceful species in the galaxy. But her jaw dropped as Cass, the curator, and one other person came into view. Nyota was stunned too.

For starters, Cass was dressed as a Naralian woman and Sabine was pretty sure she'd never seen the part-Betazoid in anything other than pants. Seeing Cass look so feminine was strange enough. But her companion – John! Sabine jumped up from the table and ran to her crew mate, throwing her arms around him as he picked her up and spun her around.

"John! You are here!" she exclaimed as he jubilantly declared, "Sabs! I'm so happy to see you again!" They pulled apart and Sabine looked at the curator.

"He is one of my crew members," she explained.

"Oh! I'm sorry for my hesitation then! Sir, please, anything you wish to see! Don't hesitate to call me for assistance." The curator hurried away, his concerns with Cass long-forgotten. Sabine turned to the other telepath.

"Only you would find something to snip at a Naralian over," she said with no small amount of affection. "And look at you! You clean up well."

"Don't blame me. He was insistent that only those with proper authorization could see the collection right now because of the break-in and murder. I was trying to explain that I had the right authorization standing right next to me."

She took a breath. "And no cracks about the dress. You have no idea how uncomfortable this thing is," Cass complained, tugging the low-cut bodice up.

"Yeah, I don't want to hear it," John muttered and Sabine giggled. John was dressed as a traditional Naralian male and she was certain he'd prefer any number of costumes to the breeches and waistcoat he was currently sporting.

"You make a very striking Naralian," Nyota offered and Sabine realized introductions needed to be made between John and Nyota. Once that was done, the four settled down to look through the collection. For John, it was the first time he'd seen any of it and he took his time reading the letters their friends had left them.

As the sun lowered and afternoon moved into early evening, the foursome got up to leave. They'd return in the morning to resume their investigation. So far, they had little to report and they hoped Jim and Spock had been more successful.

Walking back to the Grand House, where Madame Bianye had insisted on putting all of them up while planetside, John and Nyota got to know one another while Cass and Sabine caught up.

"You found John. Does that mean –"

"Yep. Everyone else is on their way. And I mean everyone," Cass confirmed.

"How did you do it?" Sabine asked.

"Well, I may have bent a few rules and regulations," Cass hedged.

"What did you do?" Sabine asked apprehensively.

"Nothing that bad. Just convinced a few captains and commanders that I was a Starfleet admiral and that they needed to hand over their crew members for a special assignment," Cass clarified, a gleam in her eye.

"And the Klingons? How did you convince them?" Sabine pushed, knowing mind manipulation was not an easy task when Klingons were involved.

"I was honest with the Klingons," Cass confessed. "And I promised they could come along with Adjoa."

"The Klingons are coming here?" Sabine asked with wide eyes. "Does Jim know?"

"Not yet," Cass said, her spirits flagging briefly. "I need to tell him."

"Good luck with that," Sabine said with a wry chuckle. The two friends walked in silence for a bit.

"So, you look happy," Cass said as she glanced over at Sabine.

"I must have the most obvious facial expressions," Sabine complained. "First Ny and now you."

"Well, I was there," Cass offered as a meager defense. "But I take it you two are doing well?"

Sabine smiled and it was all the response Cass needed to know exactly how happy Sabs and Bones were to be fully reunited. But her smile faded and she looked over at Cass.

"I still do not understand how the bond grew…"

Cass sighed. "Look, you two are meant to be. You know that old expression – the heart wants what it wants? Well, so does the mind."

Sabine looked at Cass with confusion and nodded her head for the Betazoid to continue.

"It doesn't matter that he's not a telepath. We made this into some huge mystery back at the Academy but the fact is, you two should be together. You bring out the best in one another and, on some level, your minds recognized the ridiculous compatibility. He gives you the stability you crave and you give him the adventure he needs – but not in excess. Like, Jim drives Bones nuts because he's too reckless. You're the happy medium for Bones – more adventurous than he is, but not insane about it. Together, you two make a perfect whole."

"But a lifebond? For a non-telepath?"

"It's not unheard of in other species. My parents aren't a good example but look at Jim and Bangs and whatever's going on there."

Sabine's lips quirked up at Cass's nickname for Spock.

"What is going on there, any-"

Cass stopped speaking and both telepaths turned to look at one another. They'd felt it at the same time – someone was tracking them. Nyota and John heard the silence behind them and turned around.

"What's wrong?" Nyota asked but John reached over and grabbed her arm. "Shhh," he admonished, "We're being followed." He'd felt it too. That familiar feeling.

The streets were crowded with Naralians heading out for the evening and they all scanned their surroundings, looking for the trackers.

"Let's keep moving, guys," Cass said softly. "But be ready." From somewhere within the folds of her dress, she pulled out a phaser and hid it between the layers of her frock. Sabine rubbed her thigh, feeling the knife there and she looked over at Nyota and John, who both gave slight nods, indicating that they too were armed. The group moved together, no longer conversing with ease, but militantly aware of everyone around them. Sabine showed them all a shortcut back to the Grand House and they made it back without identifying who was tracking them, and without giving their trackers an opportunity to corner them alone.

* * *

Jim and Spock had managed to avoid being alone together up till now. Walking back from their meeting with the inventor of the device that had been used to inflict pain and terror on the Resurrection IV crew, the two men were quiet. Spock finally spoke up.

"Captain, I trust your conversation with Starfleet command was productive."

Jim wrinkled his brow trying to figure out what Spock was referring to when it hit him.

"I'm so sorry, Spock. I meant to tell you about my conversation with Command sooner." It was true. Jim hadn't necessarily avoided the Vulcan – things had been hectic as the ship had neared Nara II. But it was also true that his feelings may have interfered with seeking Spock out to fill him in on what Command had told him.

"I understand. We've had much to deal with. But if I may know now?"

"Of course," Jim said, filling his first officer in on the conversation. Command had not called to ask why the ship was heading to Nara II nor had they been particularly alarmed or curious when Jim had told them his intentions to offer assistance to the planet in the wake of the unusual violence that had taken place. Their point in contacting him had been to alert the captain to unusual activity regarding the Enterprise herself.

In the wake of the Altimid attack, ships were now fitted with a specialized defense system to prevent someone like Krall from gaining access to ship records. It was the 23rd century version of a firewall for the entire ship. Because it was monitored remotely, by officials in San Francisco, captains would be notified from time to time by command, letting them know of suspicious activity. And that was why Starfleet had contact Jim. Someone had been very persistently trying to find a way around the defense system for the past few weeks and it looked like they had succeeded, however, the only records touched were medical records, and even then, the only records that had been reviewed for any amount of time were for someone who was no longer on the ship. Though they could not fathom the significance of going through medical records for non-active crew members, Starfleet felt it was important for Jim to know that the Enterprise had been targeted. And they were bothered by the fact that they could not pin down where the attack was originating from. It was a complex hack into the Enterprise's computers. Whoever wanted access to the Enterprise's data was someone who had intimate knowledge of Starfleet technology and procedures. Command was working as fast as they could on counter-measures. In the meantime, Jim was asked to keep as little documented information available as possible; for perhaps the first and only time in his career, his disdain for paperwork was a good thing. They promised to send him more detailed information on which records had been hacked once the counter-measures were in place.

"So that is why you asked senior officers to avoid filing reports for the next few weeks," Spock said, with a new appreciation for what had originally struck him as a highly illogical and wrong-headed request.

"Yep. I'm not always trying to thwart our mission goals," Jim retorted, not missing the Vulcan's epiphany. "Sometimes, I'm actually following orders."

"I did not mean to impugn your role as captain," Spock responded.

Jim stopped and turned towards the other man.

"Spock, let's not do this. The back and forth is exhausting," he said.

Spock raised an eyebrow at him.

"Just….I wish….I'm tired of dancing around this," Jim replied to the unasked question.

Spock gave him a slight smile. "Neither of us is dancing at the moment, Jim. In fact, we're not even walking."

"See? It's shit like that. Are you making a joke? Speaking symbolically? I never know how to take what comes out of your mouth," Jim said in frustration.

"I was making a joke," Spock said wryly. "I do that perhaps more often than you give me credit for." Spock had done his best to appeal to the captain's more mischievous side and it was somewhat deflating for him to realize he'd not had the success he'd hoped for.

"God, Spock. I've never had another being twist me up inside like you do," Jim said, the words out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"Do you think you're alone in that?" Spock asked, stepping closer to Jim. Before either man could make a move that could be seen by passers-by, he took a step back.

"Captain, we should discuss this matter further at a time and place that is more conducive to such a personal conversation."

Jim sighed. "Agreed, Spock. So fuckin' agreed," he muttered, turning back to the path ahead of them.


	115. Chapter 115

There were several new (but very familiar) faces waiting for the various Enterprise crew members when they returned to Madame Bianye's Grand House. Maria, Mía, Jayesh, Seiji, Jinjing, Tatyana, and Anthony had arrived from the Enterprise. McCoy had beamed down with the first wave of Resurrection crew members as well. Sabine did her best to ignore how damn good the other doctor looked in plain clothes, focusing instead on reuniting with all her friends. Still, the two shared a couple of appreciative glances with one another despite the thrum of activity surrounding them. While Sabine caught up with the Resurrection crew, Cass found Jim and told him about the Klingons coming with Adjoa. It was a good thing she told him when she did because just minutes after their conversation, and Jim's subsequent comm to notify the bridge, Sulu commed him back.

"Captain, there's a Klingon bird of prey right beside us," he said in a calm voice that hid his extreme discomfort. "They're hailing us to demand transport of their chief engineer and two others."

"Allow it, Mister Sulu. Stand down unless I tell you otherwise," Jim replied into his comm.

"You take my shuttle and now you've got me working with Klingons," he muttered to Cass. "We really need to have a conversation about the boundaries of friendship."

"Sure, let's do that after we make sure the Resurrection crew is safe, okay?"

Within a half hour, Adjoa beamed down from the Enterprise, leaving the two guards who had beamed to the Enterprise behind her.

"So, that means there's two large Klingon warriors running around my ship," Jim grumbled.

"Captain, the fact that they're willing to stay on our ship is a huge sign of trust from the Klingons to us," Nyota said patiently in response.

"She is right, oh!" Adjoa chipped in. "Toq is quite fond of you."

Jim managed a small smile. "As far as Klingons go, Captain Toq is my favorite."

Still, that didn't stop him from requesting that Sulu check in hourly with an update. In the meantime, everyone gathered in one of the house's elaborate dining rooms to discuss why they had gathered together after so long and what the away party had learned in their first day on Nara II. Jim and Spock filled everyone in on what they had learned about the trainer from its inventor. Though it had never been intended for misuse like the kind it was currently being used for, it was capable of containing the entirety of a telepath's mind. It worked on most non-telepaths as well. While it had been retired many decades earlier, a few remained, either among antique collectors or museums and archives. The inventor noted that one had been reported stolen by a private collector several years ago. It had never been found. Sabine and Cass told the group about the trackers they had sensed on the way home. Sabine didn't miss McCoy's cocked eyebrow as they related what had happened. Beyond that brief moment of concern, the two did an excellent job treating each other as nothing more than work colleagues, despite several knowing looks and an elbow in Sabine's ribs from Nyota. Arrangements were made to take the Resurrection crew to the Archives the following day after which, groups would begin searching all the hotels within the city for anyone suspicious. The meeting was breaking up when Jim received a more frantic comm from Sulu.

"Sir, we've got a Romulan Warbird decloaking in front of us. Just how many of the Federation's enemies are we expecting to show up?"

Jim looked up in bewilderment and frustration at Cass.

"I didn't invite the Romulans," she said, her hands up. "I just reached out to Theo and Oliver. They told me they'd be here."

"Captain, the Romulan ship is hailing us," Sulu said through the comm.

"Go ahead, Sulu. Play it over the comm for me," Jim replied.

"Oi, don't shoot us full of torpedoes, mates. We're here to help," came a thick Australian accent.

"Oliver!" exclaimed both Sabine and Cass at the same time, with relief in their voices.

"Why did you idiots bring a Warbird?" Cass asked into Jim's comm in exasperation.

"Well, first, we brought a helluva battleship so you could say thank you. Second, Commander Charvanek insisted on coming with us. Says she's got something important to discuss with Captain Kirk," Theo replied.

Jim looked over at Cass for clarification but she shrugged her shoulders. This was news to her as well.

"Keptin, does zis mean we have to inwite the Romulans over to the ship as well?" Chekov asked mournfully over the comm.

"Don't worry about it," Theo replied. "They'd rather stay on the Warbird. We'll join you all down there in just a little bit."

The comm with the warbird ended. Sulu told Jim he needed to take an incoming communication from the Klingons who wanted to know why a Romulan warbird had shown up.

"Sulu, tell Captain Toq and Commander Charvanek that I'm beaming back to the Enterprise and will meet with both of them, either individually or together," Jim ordered, before sighing heavily.

"We're either gonna save the universe or start an intergalactic war," he said despondently to Spock.

"Captain, perhaps I should beam aboard with you," Spock offered. "My presence may be more useful there than here." Jim considered the offer then wearily nodded.

"Let's go. Bones?"

"Yeah?" the doctor replied. At that point, the only people left in the room were Jim, Spock, Cass, McCoy, and Sabine.

"Keep an eye on everyone till we get back, okay? Don't let them do anything I wouldn't do." Jim shot Cass a look.

"Hey! I resent that," Cass replied. "I don't need to be babysat."

"You stole my shuttle," Jim reminded her.

"Hell, I'm not gonna let 'em do half of what you would do, Jim," McCoy retorted.

"That's the spirit," Jim said gratefully.

Moments later, Jim had Scotty on his comm and, with Spock, he beamed back to the ship. McCoy left to find out just how much trouble people had gotten into in the short time since they'd left the meeting. Cass and Sabine looked at each other.

"If he thinks he's gonna meet with the Klingons and Romulans and not include me in that conversation, he's got another thing coming," Cass muttered as her eyes darkened.

"This is exactly the kind of thing he told Leo to prevent," Sabine replied, her mouth forming that twist it so often made.

"Well, as far as Bones knows, I'm tired and retiring to my room for the evening," Cass said, walking out of the room, her mind already listening in on what Jim was doing back on the Enterprise.

"Hope Spock does not catch you," Sabine called out but she got no reply.

* * *

"Captain," Toq boomed as he entered the conference room, "qaStaH nuq jay'." Jim sighed, grateful he'd taken a moment to grab a universal translator with Klingon programmed into it.

"I don't know, Toq," he replied. "Commander Charvanek said she needed to discuss something with me and when I asked her if it was alright for you to be present as well, she agreed."

"We Klingons do not trust Romulans. They are even more deceitful than your kind."

"Thanks, Toq. I'll take that as a compliment," Jim said wryly.

"But you, James T. Kirk! You would have made a valiant Klingon," Toq said jovially.

"Well, now you're just flirting," Jim replied. He had to admit, Toq was a fun guy. He wished all Klingons were as easy to get along with as Toq.

"We do not flirt. Klingons do not have time for such niceties." Toq spoke with such a grave seriousness that Jim wondered if the other man was pulling his leg. Before he could find out, the conference room doors opened and Spock arrived with Commander Charvanek. Jim blinked. Charvanek was incredibly good looking – for a Romulan. She knew it too – he could tell by the way she moved. She was accustomed to having the full attention of whatever space she was in.

"Finally I meet the infamous James Kirk," she said to him, her voice all seduction. She reached out to shake his hand and Jim looked at Spock in a slight panic.

"Romulans do not share the telepathic tendencies of our Vulcan relatives," Charvanek stated, not missing the look the young captain had given his first officer. "This is just a handshake."

"Of course," Jim replied, feeling like a fool as he shook her hand.

Charvanek turned to Toq. He looked her up and down but Jim gathered from the storminess of Toq's features, he did not share Jim's assessment of Charvanek's physical assets.

"vjljatlh," Toq muttered to the Romulan.

"Yes, you Klingons are known for your charm, aren't you?" Charvanek replied, having the audacity to wink at the Kingon captain. Toq scowled in return.

"Let's get down to business," Jim said, hoping to break the tension between the two beings eyeing one another with suspicion. Everyone took a seat and Jim looked at Commander Charvanek.

"You said you needed to discuss something with me?"

"Yes," she replied. "The reason I insisted on accompanying the humans here, as well as giving them my Warbird, is because I believe the threat you are facing is a threat to all of us."

"I don't disagree," Jim replied. "But I'm curious as to why you think that?"

"Two weeks ago, a piece of new technology was stolen from the Romulan Science Academy. It was one of two prototypes for an instrument that would allow our ships to travel through wormholes, thus making the trip from one quadrant to another a matter of hours as opposed to days or weeks."

"Really?" Jim asked, impressed. Between cloaking devices and this, the Romulans seemed to have the best toys.

"Yes," she replied calmly. "Luckily, they only took one of the prototypes."

"Where is the other one?" Jim asked.

'With me," she replied, a triumphant smile on her face.

Jim looked at the Romulan commander with appreciation. Suddenly, he wasn't so upset that she'd shown up.

"Commander," Spock asked, "do you know who stole the prototype? I ask because you are sitting in a room with two groups who would be your most obvious suspects."

"We do have an idea as to who it may have been but I would prefer to keep my own counsel on that for now. It suffices that I believe everyone in this room is on the same side. Namely, none of us want to see the suspects succeed."

"Do you ever intend to tell us who your suspects are?" Toq asked, still wary of the woman.

"Perhaps," she mused, looking as though she were deep in thought. "I will not yet but if circumstances permit, I am not opposed to sharing that information at a later time."

Jim had enough mystery on his plate for the time being. He decided not to push the Commander any further.

"It is interesting that you mention a theft," Toq ruminated. "We too had a device stolen from our own science Academy, just weeks ago."

"What was it?" Jim asked, his curiosity piqued.

Toq looked at Charvanek. "I was not inclined to share this information because your kind are at the top of our list of suspects. However, your willingness to tell us about your own incident shows some honor."

Charvenek gave a brief head tip to the Klingon.

"The device taken from us was a tool that can intercept transport."

Jim wrinkled his brow. "I don't quite understand."

Toq elaborated. "The device is meant to intercept communications to other ships and mimic those ships' transporter functions. So if I had it, I could find the frequency of your communicators, listen in for you to ask for transport to or from the Enterprise, and instead of the Enterprise carrying out the transport, my ship would do it. It works from quite a great distance as well – much farther away than the normal transport range."

"That's diabolical," Charvanek said with glee. "I love it!"

Jim was still wrapping his head around the idea. "So, in essence, you could kidnap someone trying to leave or return to his own ship?"

"Exactly," Toq replied.

"Man, the Federation is really slacking," Jim mumbled to Spock.

"Ah yes," Spock replied quietly. "Must be all that work we do protecting the rights of all lifeforms. It does get in the way of inventing tools of chaos and destruction."

Jim barely kept his eyes from rolling.

"So," Jim addressed the room as a whole, "it's possible both thefts are related." He turned to Charvanek. "And you think you have an idea of the perpetrators." She nodded. "Well, let me tell you why we're here on Nara II." Briefly, he brought the two leaders up to speed on what was happening, including what he and Spock had learned that afternoon about the trainers.

"My, this is a twisted web," Charvanek replied when he was finished.

"Seems to be," Jim agreed. "Are you both willing to help us in our search?"

"I will help you till we have killed the beings responsible for these acts," Toq replied.

"You have our assistance as well," Charvanek added.

Jim sat back for a moment, realizing how significant it was to have three enemies in one room like this, agreeing to help one another.


	116. Chapter 116

She knocked on his door quietly. Even though the hour was late, Sabine didn't want to be caught seeking entrance to McCoy's room. She'd had enough conversation with anyone who wasn't him for the day. He opened it and ushered her in without a word.

"I thought you might be interested in recreating a true Naralian –"

He didn't give her a chance to finish. His mouth was on hers and he pulled her greedily to him, moving towards the bed at the same time. There was a desperation in his kiss and his embrace. He could feel her surprise at his sudden actions.

"Darlin'… I love you… with all my heart… But…I'm sorry… I won't be gentle right now," he breathed between savage kisses.

"Take me," she mewled in a moment when he wasn't kissing her, relieved to feel him towering over her, his hands all over her as he removed the nightgown she was wearing, pulling it over her head in an almost frenzied state. He could be as rough as he wanted so long as she could feel him. Her own hands grabbed at his nightclothes, wanting nothing more than to feel his skin against hers. She needed his love, his support, his protection. Now more than ever. Meanwhile, McCoy wanted Sabine just as much. He needed to hold her, to be inside her.

He wasted no time and he fucked her hard. It was not lovemaking, too raw and ferocious to be anything other than fucking. At one point she cried out in pain, her leg hooked over his shoulder as he rammed into her repeatedly, her other leg wrapped around his waist, with his hand gripping her thigh.

"I'm sorry, love," he whispered, attempting to calm his impulses.

"Do not stop," she begged, panting. "Even when it hurts, it feels so good."

Her words tapped into the primitive side of him which so often stayed buried under layers of expectations and norms. With an almost brutish cry, he continued to thrust hard into her, his need to reach climax eclipsing any other impulse within him. The part of her that wanted him to be dominant, that desired submission to him – it was a part he'd caught in glimpses – that night over winter vacation at the Academy, and again on Xurl, when she'd let him be rough with her – he loved that part of her and loved that it allowed him to express a side of himself that he'd spent most of his life denying. He needed her submissiveness in this moment and she gave it to him happily, letting him be as callous as necessary, her cries of pleasure genuine.

There was no conversation – just his animal need to fill her, to know she was his. Sabine felt Leo's reckless abandon and it was almost enough to push her over the edge. But she held back, letting him reach that zenith alone, focusing on what he wanted from her – pliancy, submissiveness, adoration. None of it was hard to give. His climax was swift and vicious – he buried his head against her collarbone and bit her as he came, not even registering the cry of alarm she made when his teeth met her flesh. Instead, his mind flared with pleasure as he felt her arousal over being claimed in such a primal manner.

Afterwards, sweat-soaked and sore in a way she'd never experienced before, Sabine cradled his head against her chest. McCoy's arms were wrapped around her tightly. After he'd come, he had focused on her, making sure she'd fallen to pieces several times from his ministrations. They'd driven one another to tears during this particular session and if they were being honest, they knew those tears weren't just from amazing sex. They were the tears of two people scared of what awaited them. McCoy had been deeply bothered by the idea of her wandering around the city, being followed – as bothered as Sabine was to feel the familiar and unwelcome sensation of being tracked. Sabine had heard his whispered words against her collarbone after he'd come down from his climax – "I can't lose you again," and they'd stuck in her mind just as they'd stuck in his throat.

Finally, they pulled away from one another, and rolled onto their sides, facing each other. McCoy touched the bite mark he'd left on her – it hadn't broken the skin but you could clearly see the teeth marks and the purplish bruise from where he had sucked. Sabine smiled at him as he ran his fingers over her skin. She wasn't upset about the bite – if anything, she wanted more marks of his affection on her body.

"I've got a question," McCoy said.

"Of course," Sabine replied softly. "You can ask me whatever you want, though perhaps we need to work on our pillowtalk. I sense you are not about to ask me my favorite sexual position, mmm?" He gave her a wry smile.

"You know me a little too well," he said ruefully before asking his question. "Remember the research you sent me – when I was trying to figure out how to use Khan's blood to bring Jim back."

"Yes," she said, her curiosity piqued. She loved that he knew the truth about everything now and she could welcome his myriad questions. And, even better in her book was the fact that she could answer him honestly. She never needed to lie to him again.

"Did you ever test yourself? Were you one of the subjects in the research?" McCoy hoped he wasn't offending her by wondering if she was augmented. It was clear, augmented or not, the Resurrection crew were good people.

She looked at him with tenderness. "You do not have to worry about offending me with a question like that," she replied. He gave her a look. "I can see it in your eyes," she said. "But yes, I also felt your apprehension. You are very expressive telepathically, you know that?"

"Usually, people complain about my expressiveness," he huffed amiably. "But you still haven't answered my question."

"So impatient. I am not one of the subjects in the research you received. But I did test myself."

"And?"

"The findings were inconclusive," she said with no small amount of frustration. "There are four genetic markers every augmented human presents. I have one of the four markers. I do not know if that means I was augmented, or if it is a coincidence."

Sabine didn't ask why McCoy wanted to know. He reached out and took a loose curl between his fingers.

"Does it bother you? Did you want to find out you were augmented?" he asked gently as he played with her hair.

She sighed. "I would have had conflicting emotions either way. What is particularly frustrating about the results is their lack of clarity. I spent my life fearful of the implications of being augmented, fearful of what it meant if I were not augmented, and once I finally worked up the courage to find out, I received an unclear answer. So I remain as in the dark now as I was before."

He dropped her hair from his fingers and caressed her cheek. "I'd love you no matter what," he whispered. She believed him, feeling the truth of his statement in the emotions he fed her through their connection.

They came together once more that night before falling asleep – a fearful, mournful merger of bodies meant to placate and plead to whatever deity might be listening or watching. Each of them wanted nothing more than to keep the other safe and protected. It might have been rationalized as nothing more than the biological urge to survive, to protect anyone who provided a way to propagate the species, but they knew better. They knew that even after all this time, there were things science couldn't explain. Love couldn't be completely summed up by the chemicals in the brain or the hormones racing through the system. What was less clear to both of them was why they both felt so ill-at-ease and wary for what lie ahead of them.

* * *

Upon returning to the Grand House for the evening, Jim and Spock climbed the stairs to the guest rooms quietly, not wanting to awaken anyone else. Jim came to his room and the two men paused.

"You wanna –"

"Yes," Spock answered before Jim could finish his whispered question.

They entered the room together and Jim felt the strangest thing – he was nervous. Jim Kirk was fairly certain he'd never been nervous about a single sexual encounter in his life. And he knew a thing or two about sex. With women, with men, with beings whose genders didn't even have titles in Standard. So why was his stomach full of butterflies? Why was he worried? He knew what to do.

He took a moment to divest himself of his communicator, his phaser, anything in his pockets, all in an effort to give himself more time. He could feel Spock's eyes on him, watching and waiting. He could do this. He was James T. Kirk and if anyone knew how to seduce the pants off another being, it was him.

But this felt different. This wasn't a fling. He had no intention of sleeping with Spock and then brushing it off in the morning. For the first time since Carol Marcus, Jim found himself craving an actual relationship. And from everything he knew about Spock, he was pretty sure the other man could deliver just that. Maybe that was why Jim was so nervous. He thought back to Carol. In hindsight, maybe they'd only ended up together because both of them were mourning the loss of their father figures. Carol was destroyed by learning her father had been such a vile person and Jim felt adrift without Chris Pike to turn to anymore. They had come together to offer one another comfort and the next thing Jim knew, he was in a relationship – a committed relationship. And, for the most part, it had been good…until Carol had suddenly picked up and left the ship, telling Jim she had the opportunity to join a science expedition. He should have seen it coming. Carol was so focused on her career. And he was focused on the Enterprise. It had been the only thing they'd ever argued about – she wanted him to consider a life outside of Starfleet and he couldn't fathom leaving the Enterprise. In typical Jim fashion, he hadn't kept in contact with Carol very much – maybe an occasional PADD message or comm over the holidays. She had her life and he had his. He was grateful for the time they'd spent together but he never regretted choosing the ship over her.

With Spock, he wouldn't have to sacrifice the ship. He could have the commitment of another and still captain his one true love – the Enterprise. It was perfect. So why was he avoiding eye contact with Spock? Why was he staring down at the items he'd laid on the dresser instead of turning around and making a move on the Vulcan? Because he was scared. Plain and simple, Jim was scared of what would happen the minute he moved towards Spock. He wanted it so much and the want made him feel out of control. And Jim wasn't used to feeling like anything less than a confident leader, in the bedroom or out of it.

While he had been buying himself time, Spock had soundlessly come up behind him so that when he finally turned, Jim bumped into the other man, their foreheads colliding in the most unromantic way possible.

"Ow."

"My apologies. I thought you knew I was close," Spock replied evenly despite a green flush spreading across his cheeks.

They stared at one another and drew closer. Jim grabbed Spock's upper arms while the Vulcan grabbed Jim's forearms. This was more like it. Both men closed their eyes as their faces drew closer to one another and they could feel each other's breath just before –

"Ow!" Jim pulled back. This time, they had knocked noses, both angling their faces in the same direction. Jim didn't understand. He'd never had a sexual encounter go this wrong this quickly. Sex was supposed to be fun and even if you did knock foreheads or noses, you could laugh about it and move on. What was wrong with him tonight?

Jim rubbed his nose, then his forehead and looked at Spock in befuddlement.

"I swear, I've done this before," he assured the other man.

Spock gave him a hint of a smile. "I am aware. If I might make a suggestion?"

Jim nodded at the Vulcan, his pride wounded but his desire for Spock still just as strong as it had ever been.

"Relax," Spock told him.

Jim scowled. "Don't you think I would if I could?" he grumbled.

Spock gave him a look that positively melted his insides.

"Jim, I meant it quite literally. Lie down. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths."

Jim gave the Vulcan a hard stare and Spock simply gestured to the bed, his own expression quite calm and collected. Jim walked past him to the bed, never taking his eyes off Spock.

"You think this will help?" he asked skeptically, as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"I do," Spock answered, raising an eyebrow to indicate that Jim should continue to follow his advice and actually lie down. Grudgingly, Jim did so. He looked up at Spock standing beside the bed and the Vulcan again raised his eyebrow.

"Fine," Jim huffed, closing his eyes. He took an exaggerated breath and loudly exhaled but to his surprise, he felt calmer so he did it again, without exaggerating. He kept breathing deeply even as he felt Spock join him on the bed. Jim kept breathing even as he felt the heat of Spock's body against his right side, and then Spock's breath ghosting over his cheeks. For someone who liked being in charge, Jim was finding it surprisingly easy to hand the reigns in the bedroom over to Spock.

Spock's lips were close, Jim could tell. He could feel Spock's breath blowing against his own lips and though he had yet to open his eyes, he licked his lips eagerly. He felt one of Spock's hands wrapping around his bicep and the other on the opposite side of him, pressing against the mattress. Distantly, he realized those were Spock's legs pressing against the outer sides of his own. Spock was straddling him. And yet, Jim kept his eyes closed and kept breathing deeply, just as Spock had told him to. The anticipation of what would happen next was exquisitely painful and Jim couldn't remember the last time he'd felt like this. Maybe when he lost his virginity? But he wasn't sure he could actually remember that event whereas he was pretty sure everything happening right now would be burned into his brain forever.

Jim shifted on the bed and, in doing so, raised his head slightly, bringing his lips into contact with Spock's. Once there, he saw no reason to pull away and neither did his first officer, apparently.

As far as first kisses went, it was pretty fucking amazing. Jim wasn't sure when his arms wrapped around Spock, pulling the other man closer to him or when Spock started moaning like that but his tongue found its way into Spock's mouth and he licked into Spock's mouth as the Vulcan's tongue pressed into his mouth and it felt like nothing he'd ever known. Spock tasted different than any other being he'd ever been with and Jim wondered if it was a Vulcan thing or a Spock thing and decided he didn't care either way – he just wanted to feel this always.

He didn't even mind the weight and excessive heat of Spock on top of him and Jim realized this was the first time he'd been on the bottom in an encounter with another man but he had no desire to right things.

When he finally opened his eyes, he found Spock looking at him with dilated, unfocused pupils, adding some sense of urgency to the whole situation, as Jim was pretty sure he had never seen that look on Spock's face, even on the occasions when Spock got hurt on an away mission.

"You okay?" he asked and he wondered when his voice had become so hoarse.

"Yes," the Vulcan replied, in an equally scratchy voice. Jim became aware of the fact that their hips were rolling against each other and generating a nice friction.

"No taking it slow, huh?" Jim murmured as one of Spock's hands brushed against his pants, undoing them.

"To do so would be illogical," Spock replied with a hint of smile and a moan as Jim followed suit and undid Spock's pants.

"This is some logic I can get behind," Jim whispered into Spock's ear as he pulled the science officer's shirt off. Seeing Spock's hair mussed up did something to Jim's insides. He wondered, besides Uhura, if anyone else on the Enterprise had ever seen Spock like this. But then Spock was removing his shirt and Jim felt a strange shyness for a moment, which was ridiculous because with the number of times Spock had seen him in a torn shirt, it wasn't like Spock was seeing anything new now.

Both men quickly shucked their pants and boots off and once more, Spock was on top of Jim, in nothing but the same Starfleet-issued boxer briefs as Jim. Jim took in the sight of Spock above him, appreciating the hard lines of the man's body, the paleness of his skin and the green flush across his cheeks. To think they had once been adversaries, that Spock had kicked him off the ship during the Nero incident. Jim's wry smile caused Spock to raise an eyebrow.

"Something particularly amusing, Jim?" Spock asked him before kissing him and Jim couldn't help the involuntary shiver that hearing his name from Spock's lips caused him.

"Just thinking of how far we've come," Jim replied when the Vulcan pulled away.

"Indeed," Spock replied. "I am breaking several fraternization regulations at this very moment. I would posit that you're a bad influence." He trailed his mouth down Jim's neck, sucking and licking wetly the column of Jim's throat.

"Except you were breaking some of those regs with Uhura so don't blame me for your rule-breaking penchant," Jim protested. "Besides, no one actually cares about those regs."

Spock broke away from Jim to look the captain in the eye. "Some of us care about regulations," he said with a gleam in his eyes.

"Well, if you love the regs so much, by all means, feel free to head to your own room," Jim challenged his first officer, an equal gleam in his own eyes.

Spock's response wasn't verbal – instead he slid a hand between the two men's bodies and freed both hard cocks, stroking them both at the same time with his hand, one against the other. Jim groaned and wondered if this was Spock's first time with another man because if it was, holy shit, no one should have that much natural talent and intuition. The pleasure was sublime and judging from the sounds escaping from Spock, Jim was not alone in his enjoyment. In fact, Jim was about to voice his concerns over the fact that it felt perhaps too good – if Spock wanted to go further, they needed to consider taking action soon because Jim wasn't sure how much he could hold out but before he could get the words out, Spock shifted off him and raised an eyebrow at Jim.

Jim wasn't entirely sure what the unasked question was but he went with his gut and shook his head yes and then Spock was repositioning Jim, rolling the captain over so his chest was against the mattress. Jim thought about objecting – he was the one who did the fucking around here. But he held back. Spock hadn't led him astray yet so why not go with it? But he did angle his head so he could look behind him and see what was happening. And that's when Jim saw Spock put two fingers in his mouth to wet them before sliding them between Jim's ass cheeks and that image – of Spock sucking on his own fingers to lubricate them? That was going in Jim's permanent spank bank. He had a feeling if he said anything about the spank bank to Spock, he'd be given the Vulcan look of disapproval but he couldn't really be sure. This was the man who was doing lurid things to him at the moment.

Once his fingers had opened Jim sufficiently, Spock positioned himself and the pressure was immediate, somewhat alarming, and frankly, damn near the most erotic thing Jim had felt in his relatively young life. But the alarm was sounding in his head.

"Spock, we need lube," he gasped.

"Vulcans are self-lubricating," was the response and Spock slid in with ease.

"You magnificent bastard," Jim sighed. The Vulcan made no effort to correct him, to clarify that, in fact, his parents were married when he was born and Jim assumed it because Spock was enjoying the sensation of being buried inside Jim as much as Jim was enjoying feeling him deep inside.

Spock flexed his hip and hit precisely where he needed to in order to draw a cry out from Jim's lips. They had barely started and already, Jim was moving erratically against Spock, his movements more frantic with every thrust. Every time Spock thrust and hit that spot, Jim clenched around him.

"I'm gonna come," Jim gasped, feeling his own balls tighten. Spock's only answer was a grunt as he thrust again, his breath choppy.

Jim wasn't sure which of them came first because he lost sense of time and everything else for a short moment. His orgasm was so overwhelming, he started to wonder if it would ever end. He also wondered who was going to clean the sheets because he knew he'd made a mess of them. But then he felt Spock on his back, his breath on Jim's ear as he repeated Jim's name over and over.

Later, the two men curled up on the bed, the sheets removed and replaced with spares they had found in the armoire. Spock faced Jim and murmured a single word, "T'hy'la." Jim replied with a word of his own, "Soulmate." With a nod of assent, Jim allowed Spock to align his hand against the psi pointed on Jim's face. Once more, they were in one another's minds and Jim could see just how much he meant to the Vulcan, while simultaneously sharing with Spock how much he cared about him. In what felt like hours, but was just a few minutes, the two men shared their deepest desires, fears, and memories with one another. After the meld, they stared silently at one another, enjoying the memories of their physical and mental unions.

They slept deeply, wrapped in one another's arms. For the first time in a long time, Jim didn't feel so restless and Spock didn't feel so alone.

* * *

_This was something different._

_Sabine looked around, trying to determine where she was, but everything was dark and blurry. She tried to focus her eyes, looking for any details that would help identify her location but every time she tried to scrutinize her surroundings, they just grew fuzzier. She was ready to groan in frustration when she heard a sound behind her._

" _Cass!"_

" _Sabs?" The other woman looked at her with the same annoyance she felt. "What the balls is going on?"_

" _I do not know," Sabine answered. "Where are we?"_

" _Fuck if I know. I was hoping you knew," Cass answered, moving closer to her friend. "Why can't I see anything in here?"_

" _You too?" Sabine asked in surprise._

" _Are we…are we awake right now?' Cass asked as a sudden realization hit her._

" _No, you're not," a third, familiar voice answered. The two women looked at one another in shock._

" _Aubrey?" Sabine called out._

" _You fucker," Cass growled. "Show yourself!"_

_From the shadows, Aubrey emerged. Despite their unease with the setting, both Sabine and Cass broke out into wide grins and rushed to meet their long-absent friend and sister._

" _Are you okay?" Cass asked her sister._

" _Is this your dream?" Sabine asked right after._

_Aubrey held her hand up. "Easy, girls. I'm not as good at this as you two are and I don't have much time."_

_Both girls looked at her with shame and mumbled their apologies._

" _Well, jeez, I didn't mean to make you cry," Aubrey cracked before getting serious again. "Guys, I need you to find me. He's gonna kill me if you don't get me out of here soon."_

" _Who is he?" Cass demanded._

_Aubrey opened her mouth to reply but no sound came out._

" _Where are you?" Sabine asked Aubrey._

_Again, Aubrey could not respond._

" _How can we find you?" Sabine asked._

" _I don't know but he wants you to come after us. He's counting on it. Don't let him outsmart you. I'm depending on you guys."_

_With that, Aubrey flickered, as though a holovid with bad reception._

" _Aubrey," Cass cried out._

" _I have to go, guys. Please, come get me," Aubrey begged, the look on her face one of pure fear. "Please don't let me die here."_

Sabine woke up with a start, drenched in sweat. Beside her, McCoy remained in deep sleep. She moved out of the bed and to the door. Where was Cass sleeping? She would find her if she had to wander the whole house. But it didn't come to that. Cass was in the hallway, already looking for her.

"You really were there," Cass said with relief.

"Yes. Oh, Cass," Sabine replied, taking the other woman in her arms while tears fell from Cass's eyes.

"We have to find her," she murmured over and over as Sabine hugged her tight.

"We will," Sabine assured her. "I promise you, we will." But inside, she felt no assurance. Who was Aubrey so afraid of? Where was she and who was hurting her?

* * *

It was another long day at the Archives, this time reviewing the Resurrection Collection with the full group of Resurrection IV crew members. While the collection had been fascinating for the crew members who hadn't seen it yet, everyone was in agreement that they could not identify any missing piece or a reason for ransacking the collection in the first place.

The group, which was comprised of the twelve time travelers, Jim, Spock, Bones, Cass, and Uhura, decided to split into smaller cliques, some of which were heading out into the city to investigate more hotels for any suspicious guests. Sabine and Cass decided to take a group back to the Grand House, where Madame Bianye would meet them and discuss the specifics of the attacks on courtesans that had occurred in the days just after the Archives robbery.

Mía, Tatyana, and Anthony joined Cass and Sabine. The conversation was filled with jokes and questions as they caught up with one another again. Despite the grim reason behind their reunion, the Resurrection IV crew had found time in the down moments to bond with one another once more. They were also happy to reconnect with Jim and Bones, and to meet Spock and Uhura – the Enterprise had a galaxy-wide reputation and the Resurrection gang enjoyed getting to know members of the infamous starship.

For the second time in two days, conversation came to a grinding halt. All five people stared at one another with the same look on their faces. They were being tracked.

Cass and Sabine took the lead in front of the other three and Cass motioned down an alley.

"This way," she instructed. Sabine looked at her like she'd grown a second head.

"Are you crazy? They will corner us," she pointed out.

"Yeah, and we're all armed," Cass replied. "I don't know about you, but I want to know who these fuckers are."

Sabine sighed and looked at the others. They all nodded and followed Cass down the alley. Sabine joined them. It was hard to keep from turning around to see if they were being followed but soft steps behind them were all the proof they needed.

_Now, guys. Grab your weapons, turn around, and confront them._

The group turned around quickly, their various weapons out.

The human male and Andorian female behind them immediately put their hands up.

"Don't shoot," the Andorian cried out.

"We don't mean you any harm," the human added.

"Then why the fuck are you following us?" Cass hissed as she, Sabine, Tatyana, Mía, and Anthony pulled in tighter towards the trackers.

"We wanted to talk to you. We had no intention of scaring you. We're on your side," the Andorian said, panic in her voice.

"Bullshit," Mía spit out. "You want talk, you come up and talk. Why were you following us?"

"We had to make sure it was you," the human said in a pleading voice. "You don't understand. If they catch us, we're dead."

"They? Who they?" Taty asked.

"Khan. And…his followers," the man said weakly.

At that, everyone stopped moving and looked at each other. Sabine felt dread rising in her stomach.

"Khan? His followers?" she said in a voice that was almost a whisper. "They are dead."

"No, they're not," the Andorian woman responded. "They're the ones who broke into the Archives. And we can tell you why."


	117. Chapter 117

"Wait, one more time, from the top – no interruptions, okay?" Jim demanded of the group, still trying to make sense of the story he was hearing from the Andorian and human that Cass, Sabine, and their friends had encountered on the way home. His issues were compounded not only by the boisterous group surrounding him, but by the agents themselves. Both of them lapsed into periods of slack-jawed silence from time to time and struggled to get their answers out, almost as though they were in pain. McCoy had left the room at one point to grab his tricorder and was attempting to discreetly scan both of them. Meanwhile, Cass had given Jim several troubled looks before finally opening a connection to tell him that the emotions they were emitting troubled her. She didn't like what she'd seen of their minds either. Sabine seemed agitated by their mental states as well. All in all, Jim was feeling like the situation was precarious; he needed everyone to calm down and let the agents talk.

"Almost four years ago, we were asked by Commodore Nighy to join a project. She told us that if we chose to come on, we would have to give up our positions as agents with Section 31," the human male – Aahil Idrisi – explained, taking several large inhales upon finishing, as though those two sentences had been the equivalent of running a marathon.

"When we joined, we discovered the commodore had already gathered quite a few other agents, some of which, like her, were believed dead in the London bombing," the Andorian female – Kib Ch'kyvoth – continued, also seeming to struggle with the exertion of speaking.

"Are you two okay?" Jim asked. "Seems like talking to us is really taking its toll on you."

The two agents exchanged looks.

"We're fine," Aahil answered.

Jim looked at Cass, then Sabine, then to Bones, who gave him the slightest shrug of his shoulders as he refocused his attention on the tricorder in his hands. Jim didn't like the looks on the faces of either telepath though.

_They're not fine. Their minds are fucking disasters. Bones says their scans are on the high side for stress but he doesn't see anything else. But Sabine and I can feel it. There's something seriously wrong here._

What should I do?

_I don't know. I guess we keep questioning them for now._

Jim was relieved that the rambunctious group surrounding them was actually staying quiet this time around but concerned for the well-being of the two agents. What the hell was going on?

"Okay," he said. "Tell us more about when you started to realize something wasn't right with Commodore Nighy's new organisation."

"Agent Tapper was the first one to go missing. He…wasn't especially well-liked," Aahil said. "So no one really thought much of it at first."

"We were mainly relieved he wasn't around anymore," Kib interjected.

"But eventually, more agents started to disappear. And while we'd always heard good things about Commodore Nighy, working for her was nothing like what we'd expected," Aahil murmured, lost in the memories of what the agents had seen and done over the past few years.

"I hated Admiral Marcus. When he died, I thought it was one of the best things that could happen to Section 31," Kib resumed where her co-worker had left off. "The only reason I accepted Commodore Nighy's offer was because I had always heard about how much she disliked Marcus and how she'd always argued for more ethical actions on behalf of the organisation."

"How long did it take you to realize that wasn't going to be the case?" Jim asked, doing his best to keep any judgment from his voice.

"Almost immediately," Kib answered guiltily. For the time being, both agents seemed to have regained some composure.

"As soon as she told us what the project was – which of course didn't happen till we'd left Section 31 and joined her team, I think we both knew we'd made a mistake," Aahil elaborated.

"And we weren't the only ones with reservations. You could look around in any meeting and see agents avoiding eye contact with one another and with Nighy," Kib added.

"But we all felt like we were kinda trapped," Aahil said. "With agents disappearing and the rest of us always being moved around without a moment's notice…it felt like we'd signed our rights away."

"Did either of you assist in the attacks on the Resurrection crew members?" Jim asked.

"No…but we knew agents who did," Kib replied. "They were always told to gather the contents of a crew member's mind with care to not damage the crew but…."

"The agents selected to go out and retrieve the memories were usually people like Tapper. The dregs, basically," Aahil offered.

"And what, specifically, did the two of you do during your time with Commodore Nighy's group?" Spock asked as several Resurrection crew members muttered amongst themselves. Jim shot his first officer a grateful look.

"I was in charge of monitoring progress on decoding what the agents would bring back from their trips to the crew members," Aahil responded quietly.

"Our memories, then? Is that what you mean to say?" Maria shot back, anger lacing her words. Jim gave her a warning look – not because he didn't feel she had a right to be angry but because if he let her start, he knew the conversation would descend into chaos once more. She saw his look and lowered her head.

"Sorry, Captain," she said meekly.

"It's okay. I just want to get through everything before you guys give them an earful. Which you both probably deserve," he said to the two agents.

"We know," Kib replied contritely. "I was on a team that focused on hacking Starfleet communications and files. And I apologize to all of you. We had no right."

While murmurs ran through the group, they quieted down so that Jim could continue his inquiries.

"Tell me about the warehouse fire," Jim said, his voice hardening. "Exactly how did you all accomplish that?"

Both agents gulped. Kib spoke up.

"About a year ago, the commodore's strange behavior worsened. She became obsessed with reviving Khan. It was all she talked about." McCoy raised his eyebrows as he looked down at his tricorder. Jim saw him reach over and show Sabine the readings. A moment later, Cass was in Jim's head again. This game of telepathic telephone would have been a lot more amusing if not for the fact that it concerned such dire information.

_Their heart rates just shot up again._

Aahil expanded on what his fellow agent had said. "She gathered a team and gave them a research report she'd taken from Section 31 before she left." At that, Sabine shifted uncomfortably. Both Cass and McCoy saw her discomfort and Cass opened a connection with her to feed her comfort.

"She tasked the team to work on cloning with Augments. We don't know how, but she had blood samples from all 73 Augments and she gave them to the team to use."

"I'm guessing she stole the samples from Section 31 before she left," Cass piped up. "I know Marcus ordered samples to be taken from each Augment. That order was one of the last things I saw before leaving."

The other former Section 31 agents nodded at her. "Probably," Kib agreed weakly.

"So Nighy had a team create clones?" Jim asked, getting back to the narrative even while the thought of a freed Khan made his skin itch. He noticed how both agents had become increasingly pale.

Tell Bones to let me know if I need to stop the questions.

_Will do._

He shot Cass a grateful look, wondering how she managed the bombardment of emotions she must be feeling, not to mention the multiple telepathic connections, all while also keeping track of the verbal conversation. He was exhausted and he was only aware of a fraction of the things she was keeping tabs on.

"Yes," Aahil replied. "And, save three clones that were defective, they were successful."

"So the bodies burned in the fire…," Jim prompted.

"Were the clones, except for the three who didn't turn out. Those three Augments were left in their cryotubes to die. Nighy said it would lend an air of credence to whatever tests Starfleet would run after the fire," Aahil answered in a low voice. His eyes began to glaze over. Jim looked up at McCoy and the doctor returned his gaze.

_According to Bones, their stress levels are high. He says otherwise, they should be okay. But both Sabine and I feel increased agitation in their minds._

"But Starfleet never ran tests to determine if the bodies were clones," Spock pronounced. It was one thing that had bothered him from the moment he'd read the Starfleet report. There were more tests Starfleet could have run in the aftermath. Spock had convinced himself he'd been paranoid for expecting a full battery of tests but it turned out his gut instinct had been correct.

"With what little was left, it would have been hard – perhaps even impossible – to get conclusive results from a clone test," Kib replied. "I know because I sent an encrypted communication to Starfleet – to a friend still with Section 31 – begging him to run the clone tests. He told me his supervisor wouldn't allow it. The tests would have taken too much time for results that would have been inconclusive at best. Starfleet needed a definitive answer quickly to appease the public."

"So what happened after Khan and his followers were awakened?" Jim asked, the question leaving a metallic taste in his mouth. He wondered when Starfleet was going to learn to do things thoroughly, even at the expense of public popularity.

"Everything went to shit," Aahil answered bluntly. "More shit than it already was."

Kib clarified. "Khan took over pretty quickly. He killed Nighy in a meeting. Just smashed her head in. We weren't there but plenty of other agents were. It was…brutal. And after that, those of us who could, started making plans to escape." She quickly wiped a drop of dark blue blood from her nose but Jim didn't miss it.

The Andorian has a nosebleed.

Cass was silent for a moment before replying.

_Bones says he's getting some strange readings on both of them. Like fluctuations. He says to keep going but he may stop you if the readings get any stranger._

Jim gave a slight nod to Bones. He would continue the questions for the time being.

"But he…and his followers…they were happy to kill anyone they suspected was disloyal," Aahil said with a hollow voice.

"We watched others around us be tortured and killed just for their amusement," Kib said in an equally haunted voice. "We had to either swear an oath of loyalty to him or…" She didn't have to explain the alternative.

"And then he found your sister," Aahil said, looking over at Cass. Through the connection between them, Sabine fed comfort to a clearly bothered Cass.

"How did he find her?" she asked, her rage barely contained.

"He sent ten of his followers out into the galaxy, looking for any of you," Aahil answered. "It was just dumb luck that one of them found her in a bar in the Beta quadrant."

"Which bar and when exactly?" Cass asked, her voice seething. She knew what answer to expect.

"I don't remember the name of the bar but the planet was in the Rutharian sector and it was about four months ago," Aahil answered timidly.

"Goddammit," Cass cried. "That was one of my strongest leads and I missed her by maybe nothing more than a day."

Jim took over the conversation, saying nothing to Cass about her outburst. He knew how long she'd been looking for Aubrey.

"What did he do to Aubrey?" Jim asked the agents.

"We're not sure," Kib answered apologetically. "We think it's similar to what he did to Commodore Nighy."

The entire room, save Aahil, looked at her in confusion and the Andorian's antennae lowered then rose.

"What exactly did Khan do to Commodore Nighy?" Jim asked with a mix of apprehension and annoyance.

"I guess we didn't mention this before," Kib confessed. "We're not really sure what he did but we think he was controlling her mind somehow."

"For how long?" Jim followed up.

"The entire time?" Aahil replied timidly. "I suppose we won't ever know for sure in Nighy's case since she's dead now, but it makes sense that he did something to her around the time of the London attack. She wasn't the kind of person who would helm a project like this otherwise."

The agents found an unlikely ally in Cass.

"He might be on to something, Jim," she said, back in control of her emotions. "I worked with Nighy in London. She would have been appalled at the idea of chasing down the Resurrection crew and collecting the inner workings of their minds. When we were deciding how to handle the crew, she always advocated for treating them with compassion."

"What do they want with our memories?" Jayesh asked in frustration, tired of waiting to get to the information he was waiting for.

"He wants to use you all," Aahil answered. "I'm not clear on how but he's got those sticks…." He swayed as though woozy. Everyone knew what sticks he was referring to.

"Initially, we think he wanted you all because he thought his own followers were dead," Kib picked up from where the other agent had trailed off. "But now that he has his followers, I think he just wants you for experimentation purposes." Her antennae wavered wildly as she spoke.

"What kind of experiments? The same ones Marcus wanted to do to us?" Seiji asked.

"Guys, I know you've all got questions. Let's keep going," Jim said in his best 'I'm in charge' voice.

"So you think Khan was able to control Nighy's mind, even while in cryogenic sleep, and you think he's doing something similar to Aubrey?" he asked the two agents. They both nodded their agreement.

"How did you guys get away?" he asked them.

"Things were chaotic once we landed here," Aahil began.

"I ran away at the start," Kib added.

"And I was sent to retrieve her – kill her if I had to," Aahil continued.

"But when he found me, we both decided to remain hidden," Kib finished.

_They're lying._

Jim sighed heavily. Should he call them out on the lies? Both doctors looked alarmed and Cass's brow was furrowed. Jim assumed she was trying to read the agents' minds for the truth.

"Are they all still here?" he asked, taking the risk to get as much information as he could before Bones would insist he stop.

"Jim," McCoy warned.

"No," Aahil answered. "I received a message two days ago telling me I had five hours to return to the space dock or they would leave without me."

"We have to stop," McCoy insisted.

"Are you guys okay?" Jim asked, watching as both agents began to shake.

"Khan wants revenge," Kib replied, seemingly ignoring his question.

"He…was…hoping to take your ship," Aahil struggled to get the words out.

"We were… supposed to do… what we could… to get on board the Enterprise," Kib said, faltering.

"But we don't want to do this," Aahil gasped.

_Bones thinks they're both in danger of cerebral hemorrhages._

Before Jim could think his reply, both agents screamed in agony and fell to the floor. Sabine and McCoy were instantly by their sides. McCoy looked first at Sabine as she checked Aahil for a pulse and then he checked Kib. They shared a look and then he looked up at Jim.

"They're dead, Jim. Both of them," he said grimly. But Sabine hadn't stopped looking at Aahil and she recoiled, falling onto her backside and scooting away from him as she made a noise of revulsion. Bones looked back down at Kib and was equally horrified.

"Jesus fuck," Cass gasped, looking down at the bodies.

"What the hell are those?"

"What's happening?"

The room converged on the fallen agents. Jim didn't think – he acted on instinct and grabbed his phaser. In a moment, he'd destroyed both insect-like creatures that had crawled out of the dead agents' noses, accompanied by a thick black sludge that was still oozing out of each nose. Bones glared up at Jim.

"Well, so much for figuring out what the hell those things were," he grumbled.

"Sorry, Bones," Jim replied, not really sorry at all. Whatever those things were, he felt confident in his decision to kill them. They had been massive – over ten centimeters long with spindly legs.

"Seriously, you wanted to study those things?" Cass asked incredulously as she helped Sabine up from the ground.

"They may have been our only clue as to how Khan was controlling their minds," Sabine replied quietly. The insect-things reminded her of giant spider crickets covered in black slime. Watching as they had crawled out of each agent's nose – she would have nightmares of those images, of that she was certain. But still, Leo was right – it would have been beneficial to have one preserved for study.

"What the fuck is the goop coming out of their noses?" someone asked.

"I don't know, but everyone back away," McCoy ordered. "I need to get a sample, and I'd like to get a few readings on the bodies."

"We should get them back to the ship for examination," Sabine said.

Jim nodded. "You two head back to the Enterprise. I'm gonna comm Toq and Charvanek and ask them to beam down here."

There was a flurry of activity as people discussed what they'd just witnessed, Jim commed the Klingons and the Romulans, and Sabine worked with McCoy to prepare for their return to the Enterprise. Spock herded the rest of the Resurrection crew and Cass into a different room – they were hardly done for the evening but the next part of the conversation could happen in a room where two people hadn't just died. Madame Bianye came in to survey the damage and Cass returned to the room once more with a question for Jim. She waited while he talked with Charvanek.

Jim finished his comms just as McCoy flipped his communicator open.

"McCoy to Enterprise, do you read me?"

"Aye, Doctor."

"Scotty, there's four to transport. Lock onto Latour and me and the two bodies between us."

"Aye, I've gotcha."

"Beam us up," McCoy replied and in an instant, Jim, Madame Bianye, and Cass watched the doctors dissolve into the familiar lights of the transporter beam.

Cass looked over at Jim. "Does Scotty have a cold?"

"I don't know. Sounds like it. If so, Bones will shoot him full of hypos the minute he's done with his exams. What's up?"

Cass explained to him an idea for the next conversation that needed to happen.

* * *

"Guys, we need a plan," Cass said with an authority in her voice that Jim had never heard before. The group that Jim had found so difficult to tame quieted at her words. What he hadn't anticipated before the entire Resurrection crew joined them on Nara II was how difficult it was to keep them from taking over any and every conversation, debating each other endlessly. He was starting to understand just why Cass had complained so much about her former targets but it was clear she had a way of corralling them that he lacked. Later, he'd ask her for pointers. Right now, he was grateful she'd offered to take the lead.

"I just do not see how we can beat all of them. Khan was one Augment and he practically destroyed the Enterprise and took out a chunk of San Francisco. How can we expect to overcome seventy Augments?" Mía despaired.

"Well, in fairness," Jim replied, "Admiral Marcus did more damage to the Enterprise than Khan. But I see your point."

"You have us on your side this time, Captain Kirk," Toq pointed out. "Surely these Augments are no match for my crew."

"Toq, when we went to Qo'noS to retrieve Khan, he took down an entire squadron of Klingons with little assistance from us. I am not, in any way, discrediting your crew but Khan is much more dangerous than your typical enemy. And now he has 69 friends to help him, each of whom possess his same strength and cunning," Jim replied.

The Klingon captain considered his words while the Romulan commander spoke up.

"I spoke to you last night about the suspect in the incident on Romulus," she said to Jim and he nodded. "I was hesitant to say anything but we have an image of him – they attempted to destroy the holovids, but a mere second of footage was salvaged. It shows this Khan. I waited to tell you because I did not want to explain that our suspect was a man assumed to be dead by your Federation. We too believe he is alive and very dangerous. Dangerous enough that I am here, willing to work with both the Federation and the Klingon Empire."

She looked around the room.

"And these humans here – they are similarly augmented?" she asked as she gestured to the Resurrection crew.

"Yes, some of them are. But even the ones who are not possess militaristic abilities beyond what would be considered normal now. They are our best chance at beating the Augments," Spock answered from her side.

"So there are twelve of these humans on your side and seventy superhumans on the other side? Even with the Klingons and us, your chances do not seem very good," Commander Charvanek observed.

Not to mention…

"We don't even know where they are right now," John pointed out. "And if we do find them, then what?"

"We fight, we win," Taty replied as though it was an obvious conclusion. Toq nodded enthusiastically at her words. "Though it help if fight more even."

"What if we could even the odds?" Adjoa asked thoughtfully. Theo and Oliver gave her appreciative nods. Whatever she was thinking of, they were sharing the same thoughts.

"What do you mean?" Jim asked, intrigued.

"Right now, there are only twelve of us," Adjoa said slowly. "But at one time, we were sixty. If we had all sixty of us, combined with the Enterprise, our ship, and the Warbird…"

"But how would we do that? It's not like we can…." Seiji trailed off. "Wait, can we?"

"No," Mía said. "Sabine destroyed the tablet when we got here."

"What're you guys talking about?" Jim asked in mild frustration. Cass remained silent, her eyes on Adjoa.

"Time travel," John said quietly. "You're proposing we go back and gather everyone else."

"Is it even something we can do?" Jinjing asked.

Adjoa and Cass shared a long look but before either of them could answer, Theo beat them to the punch.

"Sure, it's possible. There's a number of different ways we can travel through time that've got nuthin' to do with Sabine's abilities. But there are other issues to consider."

"Issues like what?" Jayesh asked, still skeptical about the whole conversation.

"Like, when do we jump back? Just before everyone dies? What implications will it have for the timeline if we bring everyone to our time? How do we convince the Resurrection I crew to leave this place and possibly die fighting? Just a few questions I can think of off the top of my head, bruv," Theo rattled the issues off in such a way that the group realized he'd already been thinking of this option for longer than any of the rest of them, save perhaps Adjoa and Oliver.

Spock spoke up. "There are other concerns," he proffered. "Our own experiences with time travel aboard the Enterprise have taught us about focal points in history."

He had the attention of every person in the room so he continued.

"There are events which occur that, should they be undone, would change the entire course of galactic history. It is entirely possible that the deaths of your colleagues were focal points and that to undo those deaths would change history."

"But what if that change were for the better, Spock?" Jim had not forgotten their experience with Edith Keeler.

"Is that a chance we want to take, Captain?" the Vulcan asked in return.

"What if I told you we could check first?" Theo asked. The two men looked at him in surprise. "You aren't the only ones with focal point experience," he said by way of explanation.

"You have a way of discovering focal points beforehand?" Spock asked, raising an eyebrow.

Theo looked at Oliver hesitantly and the other replied to him.

"Well, go on mate. You've already said too much if you're trying to keep it a secret."

Theo turned to Spock. "Yeah, we built a device. It monitors both focal points in time and those in other universes."

At that, Uhura sat up straighter. "Other universes?" she asked, her experience on the mirror version of the Enterprise not forgotten. "What do you know about other universes?"

"Sounds like we might know at least as much as you, doll," Oliver said amiably. "The Terran Empire mean anything to anyone here?"

"Oh guys. You aren't trading with the Terran Empire, are you?" Cass asked plaintively.

"Come on, Cass. We're thieves and we indulge in occasional recreational drug use but even we have limits," Theo replied, dismayed that anyone would think he or Oliver would negotiate with such a group.

"Well, how do you know about them?" Uhura asked, not hiding her annoyance.

"We provide arms to the rebels fighting against them," Theo said calmly. "We wouldn't ever help an organization that goes against everything we were trained to defend. Our Earth was fucked up but we were on the right side of things. Time traveling and hopping realities doesn't change that."

"What is this Terran Empire?" Toq asked impatiently. Jim briefly filled him in and noted that Commander Charvanek did not seem at all confused by the conversation. He wondered just how often and how closely she worked with Theo and Oliver. But there was something else bothering him. He was hung up on Cass's familiarity with the Terran Empire. After explaining the mirrorverse to Toq, he turned to Cass.

"How do  _you_  know about the Terran Empire?" he asked her.

"Oh Jim," she sighed. "Section 31, and by association, Starfleet, have known about the mirrorverse for almost 100 years now. You all weren't the first ones from our universe to end up over there."

"You know, it might have been helpful to know that before the ion storm hit us," Uhura said.

"If it were me, I would de-classify everything so that every ship knew exactly what to expect while out here, traveling the stars," Cass replied. "But for some reason, I'm not in charge of the galaxy."

"How do you even get over there?" Jim asked Theo. "We found it because of a chance storm."

Theo and Oliver shared a guilty glance. "We borrowed an idea from a movie we loved as kids," Oliver admitted.

"We went forward in time – about two hundred years – and hacked into a Starfleet system – spoiler alert: Starfleet still exists two hundred years from now – and we 'borrowed' reports on ion storms from them."

"So now, when we need to make a shipment to the rebels, we look for the closest ion storm."

"Wait, you basically stole a space almanac?" John asked. "You guys Back-to-the-Futured Starfleet and it worked?"

"Yup," Oliver said with pride. "Pretty cool, huh?"

"If Starfleet still exists in the future, do we need to worry about this whole Khan thing?" Jayesh asked.

"What if it only exists in the future because we stop him from taking over?" Anthony replied with his own question.

"As fascinating as all of this is, can we figure out a plan?" Maria asked impatiently. "Are we gonna go back and grab everyone else or not?"

"We can do it easily, without pain to Sabine," Adjoa said. "I came up with a new system before we left the Academy. All I need is some dilithium crystals and it just so happens, we have some available on my ship."

"As do we," Theo said and the look between Theo and Adjoa left Jim with the sense that it was no coincidence they each had an extra supply of dilithium crystals. He wondered how often they contacted one another. It was becoming clear that Adjoa, Theo, and Oliver were the engineering whizzes of the Resurrection gang.

"But do you have to use Latour at all?" Jim asked with concern.

"It's not a bad idea to use her. She knows the layout of the ships and stations we would be jumping to. She knows Nara II well enough too. She's a logical choice in terms of ensuring accurate travel," Cass said with a slight nod to Spock, who raised his eyebrow in approval.

"Look, it's late. We've covered a lot of information in the last few hours. Since Doctor Latour isn't here to agree to the time travel plan, let's hold off on final decisions till everyone can say yay or nay," Jim said wearily. "How 'bout we regroup again at 0700 hours. In the meantime, I want to talk to you two," he pointed to Theo and Oliver, "about this device you created."

The meeting, as unofficial as it might have been, ended at that point and groups of people began to head to other common rooms to talk with one another.

Captain Toq and Commander Charvanek lingered to talk with Jim. Cass also stayed in the room, not wanting to miss any valuable information. Sure, she'd been working as a smuggler for years now but Section 31 habits were slow to die.

Jim looked at Theo and Oliver. "Before you guys tell me about this thing you've made, I want to check on how the doctors are coming along with their exams."

"Sure," Oliver said with an easy grin. He moved away from the captain to give Jim space and looked at Theo. "Sometimes, I wish I'd become a doctor but then I see something like what happened tonight and I'm glad I just deal drugs, steal stuff, and make time and space travel devices."

"Right?" Theo agreed. "Can you imagine Sabs up to her arms in blue blood right now?"

"But those things that came out of them…" Oliver shuddered.

"What is this you speak of?" Toq asked, a combination of his curiosity and willingness to befriend anyone Adjoa held in high esteem combining to draw him into the conversation.

"Yes," Charvanek added. "I heard some discussion upon arrival of large creatures coming out of the noses of two dead bodies. Sounds horrific…and very intriguing…"

Theo and Oliver jumped at the chance to recount what happened before the Klingon captain and Romulan commander arrived. Cass realized she'd been too hard on Theo and Oliver over the years, assuming the worst of them. Cass turned her attention back to Jim.

"Neither of them is answering their comms," he mumbled to her as she approached.

"Well, as Theo so colorfully pointed out, they may still be doing their examinations. Not exactly easy to answer a comm when you're performing an autopsy," Cass pointed out.

"Good point," Jim noted. "I'll give Scotty a try."

"Mister Scott," Jim spoke into his communicator, "Do you have any news for me on the examinations Doctors McCoy and Latour are performing?"

The line was silent for a moment.

"Mister Scott?" Jim repeated.

"Aye, sir, I heard ya. But I don't understand your question. I thought the doctors were doon there with you."

Cass looked at Jim and he gave her the same expression of confusion that she wore.

"Scotty, you beamed them up about an hour ago. I heard you over the comm. We watched them –" Jim stopped abruptly.

"Oh shit," Cass whispered.

"Sir, I haven't spoken to any of ye since this mornin'," Scotty protested.

"Hang on," Jim replied grimly into the comm.

The other group had stopped their conversation, realizing something wasn't right. Jim looked at Toq.

"The device you told me about. For transporting?"

"Yes?" Toq asked.

"It can be used to intercept comms…" Jim said slowly.

"Yes. And then the interceptor can beam up the comming party," Toq replied.

"But that was a Federation star ship transporter beam. And we heard Scotty's voice," Cass insisted, not wanting to believe what had likely happened.

"Did we though?" he asked her. "We both thought he sounded a little off."

"Jim..." Cass trailed off, too distressed to continue.

"I know," he replied, still dour. He brought his communicator back up to speak into it. "Mister Scott, find out if any Federation ship has sent out a distress call – ask Starfleet Command to check in with every ship. Someone intercepted McCoy and Latour."

Everyone in the room had the same thought as to who that someone was and it left a chill in their bones.


	118. Chapter 118

Sabine awoke in a room that reminded her of one of the smaller rooms within the Enterprise's recreation center. She was curled up on the floor – there was no furniture in the room. Every part of her ached and she struggled to remember where she was and how she'd gotten there. She tried to get up but settled for bracing herself with her arms, palms flat on the floor.

Something had gone wrong. But what? Where was she supposed to be? Her head felt so fuzzy.

Leo! Aubrey!

It all came rushing back and as her eyes stared down at the floor, unseeing, she remembered what had happened. This was a Federation star ship, but it wasn't the Enterprise. They had beamed up, expecting to be greeted by Scotty but instead, it had been him. Khan, surrounded by several of his followers and a blank-faced Aubrey. Sabine instantly shielded both her mind and Leo's as well as the connection between them.

"Ah, how wonderful," Khan purred. "It turns out the Klingon device was not completely worthless. Welcome, doctors!"

McCoy stepped around the dead bodies between them to place himself in front of Sabine.

"You bastard," he growled. "What the hell have you done?"

"Tsk, tsk, Doctor. That's hardly the way to greet your new captain."

"You're not my captain," McCoy snarled, taking a step towards the Augment.

"Doctor McCoy," Sabine said coolly. "Stop."

He turned to look at her and found her eyes devoid of any emotion. They held one another's gaze for a few seconds.

"Your colleague seems a bit calmer," Khan counseled McCoy. "You would be wise to listen to her."

Khan pursed his lips and turned slightly towards Aubrey, almost as though having a telepathic conversation with her though Sabine knew that wasn't possible – Khan had no signal – at least not one she could feel. The only signal she felt…oh God, was he using Aubrey's signal? Why didn't she feel the connection between them?

Seeing her eyes on him, the Augment leader offered her a chilly smile. "You remain so composed despite being in a room with two former lovers," at that he gave McCoy a derisive glance, "How awkward it must be to realize we know your secrets."

Sabine felt her cheeks burn, in anger and humiliation. But of course he would have helped himself to whatever information Aubrey's mind had – on her and whatever else. She looked over at the other woman again, searching for any sign of her former friend and lover. But Aubrey's gaze remained vacuous.

"I have no secrets to hide," Sabine replied, meeting Khan's stare with her own determined look.

"Oh no? Then why are you shielding your mind? And Doctor McCoy's as well?"

"Between the two of us, you could learn plenty about Starfleet, and specifically, the Enterprise," she bluffed. "I would rather not give you free access to that information until I know more about what you plan to do with us."

"Is that so?" Khan seemed amused.

As he spoke, his followers moved to the platform. Each doctor was flanked by two Augments. They took the communicators and phasers from each doctor and then grabbed the doctors by their arms.

"Get off of me," McCoy yelled, trying, and failing, to struggle against the grips of the Augments. Sabine remained silent, her eyes never leaving Khan's.

"Take them to their new quarters," Khan ordered his followers. McCoy continued to struggle while Sabine went along without any resistance.

She felt Aubrey sweep over her mind, then McCoy's. She would find nothing, for now at least. Sabine worried they would put McCoy far enough away from her that she wouldn't be able to shield him. They were in trouble, that much she knew. She had no idea what had happened and she didn't know how long it would take Jim to realize they never made it back to the Enterprise. Even once he realized they were missing, would he know they had been hijacked by Khan?

Sabine couldn't continue her speculations because she was roughly thrown into a pitch-black room by her captors. The doors shut behind her and she waited for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, hoping Leo was okay. A dark room wasn't the worst they could face. She was still able to feel his mind, still able to protect it from telepathic reading so he couldn't be too far from her. At least on the same deck. But she didn't dare reach out. Khan had, at the least, read her files and searched Aubrey's mind. He knew she'd had feelings for McCoy at some point. If he found out they had a lifebond, who knew what he would do to them. Right now, it was best to keep him focused on her.

"Lights, 50%," she called out.

The room lit up. Well, at least there was that. She looked around. No furniture. Not that there would be. She'd paid attention to the path they'd taken to get here. The layout of this ship was different than that of the Enterprise. This room, one of several in the recreation center, was in a different location, on a different deck, than it would be on the Enterprise. She wondered how much the computer would listen to her. She walked up to the doors but they remained shut. Nothing she said, no buttons she pushed, would open them. The comm unit on the wall appeared to be disabled as well.

As she paced the room, the doors whooshed open and Khan joined her. She froze when she saw what he had in his hand.

"Ah, I see you recognize this," he said with a crisp accent and over-articulation that made her skin crawl. She kept her expression neutral, reminding herself situations like this were what she'd been trained for.

"I imagine you know exactly why I remember that," she replied, keeping her voice steady, not raised, not hostile. "Is it the same thing you use to control Aubrey?"

"You  _are_  clever," he replied, his voice dripping with condescension. Before she could move he was behind her, his arm locking around her, preventing her from moving.

"I'll be the one to ask questions, if you don't mind," he whispered in her ear as he brought the trainer up and gently tapped it behind the same ear.

She gasped as her legs gave out. He released her, letting her fall to the ground with a thud. She didn't pass out because he had barely touched her.

"Every time I touch you with this, you lose some of your abilities," he said, crouching down to make eye contact with her. "If I touch it to you for too long, you will lose everything." His voice was cold and it filled her with panic. But she pulled herself up to a sitting position using her arms, her legs still immobile.

"So you want to deplete me of my powers?" she asked.

He reached out to push her hair behind her ear and it was all she could do to not flinch.

"Not good at following directions, are you?" he asked her with a coldness so at odds with the way he was touching her. Sabine fought hard to hide her revulsion. Their lives depended on her ability to outwit this man.

"My apologies. I assume you are using the trainer to borrow powers from telepaths, seeing as you are not one yourself." She smiled sweetly at him.

He smacked her across the face, sending her onto her back. She sat up slowly, wiping the blood from her busted lip.

"Perhaps you are more like Miss Pike than I originally believed," he murmured.

"Maybe so," she agreed. "You may have to damage my mind just as you did hers to make me subservient to you."

"Now why would I want that?" he crooned, stroking her cheek. "If you're willing to join me, I'll have no need to break you."

A brief question floated through her eyes before she regained her composure.

"You want to know, don't you?" he goaded her. She remained silent. "But you won't beg. You're more like my own kind than these wastes we know as humans."

"They are not so bad," she replied.

"You've been around them for too long. You need to rejoin your own kind," Khan said softly. "I can provide you with opportunities Starfleet could never dream of." The disdain that dripped off the word 'Starfleet' cut into her.

"What makes you think I am augmented?" she asked in return.

He laughed. "How could you not be? I'll let you get away with that question because it amused me."

His good humor propelled her to push further.

"Tell me what you do with this device after you use it on me," she asked.

He considered her, gave her a long look up and down.

"So curious, aren't you?" he asked her with faux compassion. Without warning, he yanked a fistful of her hair and pulled it, jerking her head closer to his own. "Before I can tell you anything, I need you to prove yourself to me."

Faster than she could offer him assurances, he placed the trainer against her ear once more, this time longer, until she cried out and everything went black.

And here she was now, waking up. How long had she been out? Was Leo okay? She could feel her shield over him still. He was alive, at the least. Sabine tried once more to stand up. It was a struggle and as soon as she made it to her feet, she sank back down to her knees. She groaned, a mixture of pain and disappointment.

* * *

A lot happened at once. The news that Sabine and McCoy had been kidnapped by Khan spread from the front room to everyone else in the house like wildfire and the group converged once more to discuss what needed to be done. The Resurrection team decided to make their jumps as soon as possible – every second mattered now, even if they didn't have a clue where Sabine and McCoy had ended up. Madame Bianye began to prepare the house for the additional 48 crew members they would be bringing back with them.

Spock beamed back to the Enterprise to assist in efforts to identify which ship had been used to transport the doctors.

Charvanek ordered most of her engineers to begin working on wormhole devices for both the Enterprise and Toq's Bird of Prey. She didn't know if they'd be necessary but it was better to plan ahead than to scramble at the last minute.

Toq talked to Adjoa and she ordered her team to partner with the remaining Romulan engineers to ensure that all three ships would have functional cloaking devices. Scotty welcomed the new Klingon and Romulan engineers to the Enterprise as warmly as he could, all things considered.

* * *

"Without Sabine, how exactly are we going to make the jumps?" Maria asked Cass and the Resurrection group, minus Adjoa, impatiently.

"Theo, do you and Oliver have these chemicals on your ship, by any chance?" asked Cass instead of answering the question, handing Theo her PADD. He looked at it, then handed it back to her with a look of curiosity.

"Sure do. But you're not actually considering –"

"Yes I am. What other option do we have?" Cass asked him.

"What are you two going on about?" Seiji asked them.

Cass turned to the group as a whole. "When I was working for Section 31, we created a cocktail of drugs that could give certain telepaths temporary telekinesis."

"And you think it'll work on you?" Jayesh asked.

"I know it will," Cass replied.

"But it will also leave you depleted when it wears off," Theo countered. "That's if it doesn't leave you with permanent brain damage." He looked at the rest of the group. "If she stays under its effects for too long, she'll become a vegetable."

"Well, I'm counting on you guys to get in and out quickly," Cass challenged him. "What other choice do we have?"

"There are other methods of time travel," Oliver offered.

"And none of them are as accurate or quick as this," Cass rebutted.

Theo sighed.

"What we need do to keep you safe?" Taty asked Cass.

Cass explained what she would need and they put it to a vote. The group decided to give her plan a try. She'd be under the mix of drugs just long enough for them to complete the jumps, and would use the travel time through the wormholes to recuperate. Hopefully, that would mean she'd be in fighting shape by the time they got to Regula I. Theo and Oliver got to work putting together the right mix of substances to give her temporary telekinesis – a strong enough mix to mimic Sabine's powers. After setting her engineers to work on a cloaking device for the Bird of Prey, Adjoa rejoined the group for the jumps.

The jumps through time, in and of themselves, were the easy part. It was everything before and after that was so chaotic. Because they had more latitude in timing, what with not having to worry about getting on and off minutes before a ship or space station exploded, the Resurrection IV crew decided to start with the jump to 225 years earlier on Nara II. By that time, they figured, the Resurrection I team had settled into their lives on Nara II but were still new enough to be willing to jump forward.

It was easier to convince the Resurrection I crew to come with them than they had anticipated, though, in hindsight, they shouldn't have been surprised. They knew if the tables were turned, they would all make the same decision if another Resurrection crew came to them. They'd do it out of loyalty to their fellow camp-mates and they'd do it because it was what they were trained to do – they were meant to be peacekeepers and here was an opportunity to maintain peace on a grander scale than any of them had ever fathomed.

The second and third jumps to Resurrections II and III were fairly straightforward – the only complicating element was getting on and off the ship and station in time. But the last jump to the Resurrection V had complicating factors.

"Someone has to jump back and drug past Sabine," Adjoa said firmly to the other ten members of the Resurrection IV team.

"Why?" Seiji asked, oblivious to her reasoning.

"She needs to be out cold when we rescue Dinesh or she will see it through his eyes and that messes with the timeline," Adjoa explained patiently.

"Oh, right," he replied. "Sure, okay."

"Is that an offer to volunteer?" Adjoa asked Seiji.

"Shouldn't you go?" John asked Adjoa. "If she sees you in her work area, that'll make a lot more sense than if she finds Seiji creeping around her work space. And besides, you'll probably be more successful than he would."

Seiji glared at John but they didn't continue down the teasing path. Too much was at stake.

Adjoa was successful, dropping a strong sleeping pill into the tea on past Sabine's desk without detection. Her heart ached at the idea of her friend being held prisoner by Khan and as tempted as she was to say hi to past Sabine, to hug her tightly in case it was the last time she saw any version of her best friend, Adjoa remained hidden, waiting to drop the pill into Sabine's tea when the woman had left her desk momentarily. The pill would keep her knocked out till after the Resurrection V was hit. It wasn't so uncommon in those days for her crew mates to find her passed out. She was wrestling even then with some of the nightmares that would follow her for the next several years and she didn't always get the sleeping pill ratio right. They affected telepaths differently than regular people and she had only herself to test on. So no one would think much of it when they found her in deep sleep, her head resting on her desk. Her younger self would wake up to find the connection to Dinesh gone.

"Is Dinesh gonna be okay when we jump him forward?" Maria asked the group as they prepared to go. "Remember how sick Sabine got after he died? What happens when you move around in time? Is that like death?"

"I do not know but we are about to find out," Adjoa replied.

Dinesh did get sick. But in the 23rd century, hyposprays could help ease the effects of a broken bond. Dinesh would be ready to join in the action when they got to Regula I.

* * *

The Grand House was noisy and getting louder still with every completed jump. As the various Resurrection teams reunited with their friends, shouts of joy and excitement could be heard, intermixed with questions about the future.

"Mía!"

"Roz! Key!" Mía cried before being engulfed in the hugs of two women. Rosalyn and Keyana were bonded telepaths. They'd managed to end up on Resurrection III together because, unlike Sabine and Dinesh, they'd kept their relationship a secret from the Peacekeepers. Being reunited with everyone was a surreal experience, for the Resurrection IV members, who had been convinced they'd never see people from their time again, the Resurrection crews who were slowly realizing the future was much different than anything they'd anticipated, and for the Enterprise crew members who were there to help with practical matters like vaccinations and information on technological updates that would be necessary for a smooth transition.

To get them ready for what lay ahead, the Resurrection teams were taken on a tour of the Enterprise. Jim listened to their comments, finding some comfort and amusement from their reactions. It helped distract him from how useless he felt, with no clear idea of where to go to find McCoy and Sabine. Spock and the other bridge officers had yet to uncover a hijacked Starfleet vessel.

"Guys, they're using flip phones in the future," one crew member told several others as they walked by an Enterprise crew member holding a communicator.

"The manufactured gravity on this ship is so much better than anything we ever had," another commented.

"What the hell is that thing?"

"It's a replicator," Uhura answered calmly. "We use them for food, drinks, clothes – basically, it reuses matter we would otherwise destroy or throw away."

"So…like a useful recycling bin, then?"

"You're….what are you?" one of the crew members asked an Andorian nurse as she attempted to give him a vaccination.

"I'm Andorian," she replied. "And it's impolite to stare at an Andorian's antennae like that, just so you know."

"Sorry. I've just never seen a…being with antennae before. And you're blue too!"

"Wait till you see a Tellarite or an Orion," the nurse replied with a kind smile.

"Wait, this is kinda like a tablet, right?" another asked Chekov, who was handing out PADDs to the arriving time travelers.

"Yes? I think it is similar to a portable computer – a laptop?"

"We had things like this too – not this advanced. But we called them tablets. Sergi has one with him. Hey Sergi, come check this out!"

After what felt like days, but was, in reality, just a few hours, all the new Resurrection members were situated. Back at the Grand House, Jim worked with Toq and Charvanek to figure out who would go where. Once they finally had a location for Khan, all three ships would be ready to pounce. As to the Resurrection teams, most would stay on the Enterprise, but the ship didn't have 48 spare beds so overflow was going to both the Bird-of-Prey and the Warbird…which meant introducing the crew members not only to the future, but to the groups of beings that would, in any other situation, be considered the Federation's two biggest enemies.

At 2300 hours, all the plans they could make had been drawn up. Jim sighed and said goodnight to the other ship leaders. They decided to get a good night's sleep, unsure of when they would sleep again, once Khan was found. The Federation, Klingon Empire, and Romulan Empire were all searching for a rogue Starfleet ship. They all knew it was a matter of time before the Augments were found. Until then, they would do what they could to be ready for what was guaranteed to be a tough fight.

Jim couldn't stop thinking about McCoy and Sabine, worrying over if they were okay. Spock sensed his unrest and discreetly joined him in his room, hoping to give the captain enough tranquility to be alert when the time came.

* * *

Jim and Spock were awakened by the familiar chirp of a communicator. Jim rolled over in a stupor. It was too early to be waking up. He looked at the nightstand. The clock told him it was only 0300 hours. Why was he receiving a comm? Had they found the rogue ship? But then he looked at the comm ID.

"Shit, Spock, I gotta take this," he told the other man, his voice thick from sleep.

"Should I leave?" the Vulcan asked but Jim answered the comm before replying and Spock froze as he realized who was comming the captain at this hour.

"Carol, what's wrong? It's 3am where I am," Jim said. Spock heard a familiar voice with a British accent respond.

"Jim, I'm in trouble. I need help," Carol Marcus replied, her words difficult to hear through the static over the comm.

"What's going on? Where are you?"

"I'm on a science station in the Beta quadrant – Regula I," she replied, her voice tight. "Jim, please!"

"What's happening? Why are you in trouble?" he asked as static interfered with the comm.

"The station is under attack!" she cried.

"Attack? From who?"

"It's a Starfleet ship – the U.S.S. Reliant," she replied.

All remnants of sleep disappeared from his mind.

"You're sure?"

"Yes, they hailed us before docking. We thought they were going to deliver supplies but instead, they are taking over the station," she paused then continued, "I think they've been hijacked," she speculated. Even in the midst of what sounded like an emergency, she was doing her best to stay calm. "We aren't prepared for an attack. This is supposed to be a protected, neutral location," she explained.

"Okay, tell me as much as you can," Jim replied.

"I don't know how much time I have and they're dismantling our communications systems. I need help, and I need it as soon as possible," she said.

"Understood," Jim answered and he looked at Spock, who had pulled out his PADD and started looking for the closest Federation vessel to Regula I. The Vulcan could find no other Federation ships within the Beta quadrant, which wasn't a complete surprise, given that most of the quadrant was Klingon territory.

"I only caught a brief view but they were not in uniform. They're strong, Jim. I watched one of them pick up a man with one hand and throw him across the room."

"Carol, it's Khan. And this time, he has the rest of the Augments with him."

"That can't be. They burned in a warehouse fire," she argued.

"No, they didn't," Jim insisted. "And, listen to me, they have McCoy and another one of my doctors. They kidnapped them earlier today."

"Oh Jim," she said sadly. "Wait! They are sending an announcement over the station comm system," she whispered. "Hold on."

"You're right – I'd recognize that voice anywhere – it's Khan," she said in quiet dismay.

"Carol, why would he want to attack your station?" Jim demanded. He looked over at Spock and nodded his head and the Vulcan got out of bed and began to dress. Without saying a word, Jim knew his first officer would round everyone in the Grand House up and get them on the ships. They would head towards Carol and Regula I. Spock left the room quickly after dressing.

"It has to be the device we're working on," she whispered. "I'm sending you a file with the information on the project now. It'll be easier if you read it rather than me explaining. Hold on," she grew silent once more and Jim grabbed his PADD to see a message from her with a large attachment.

"We're coming to get you," he told her as he clicked on the attachment. "I'm bringing the Enterprise to you."

"Jim, there's something else. Fuck, this isn't how I wanted to do this," Carol groaned.

"What are you talking about?" Jim asked, impatient to be on his way to save her, if he could.

"I have a son here with me. Our son," she replied, her voice full of apprehension.

Jim almost dropped his communicator.

"Our…son? We have a son?" he finally choked out.

"Oh God, I always imagined doing this in person," she replied. "I'm so sorry, Jim."

"Carol, you left the Enterprise almost two and a half years ago. Were you ever gonna tell me we had a kid?"

"I'm so sorry," she repeated. "Jim, please. Help me."

At that the comm was broken off and Jim felt ice in his veins. Was she okay? Would they kill everyone? Were McCoy and Sabs already dead? He had a son? There were so many things running through his head but they all led to one course of action – he had to get to Regula I and he had to do it as quickly as he could.

* * *

"Here's what we know," Jim said as he stood in front of the Resurrection crews, Cass, Spock, Uhura, Captain Toq, and Commander Charvanek, and a handful of additional Enterprise senior officers in the only room on the Enterprise large enough to fit this many people – the recreation center, which had been cleared of all equipment for this meeting.

It had been a hectic morning. Everyone had beamed aboard the Enterprise by 0400 hours and Jim and personally met with Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, and Hendorff to explain to them the entire Resurrection crew situation. There was a lot left to do and little time to accomplish it. It was 05.30 hours now and Jim wanted to start the trip to Regula I by 0700 hours. Every second counted.

He punched a button on the computer in front of him and the report Carol had sent him popped up on the holoscreen at the front of the room.

"The team of scientists on Regula I has been working on the Janus Project for the past several years," Jim began as he flipped to highlighted portions of the report. "The goal was to create a portal between universes, akin to the Guardian of Forever, only instead of traveling to any time, the travelers using the Janus gateway would be able to travel to any universe."

A murmur went through the room but Jim ignored it. They had too much to cover for discussion or questions right now.

"They have successfully completed phases I and II of the Janus Project," he continued. "A permanent gateway to the universe many of us know as the mirrorverse has been established. The goal in doing this was to bring down the Terran Empire in that universe. Of the many universes available to them, they chose the mirrorverse because it was the easiest gateway to make." Jim paused on an image of several universes and their relations to one another. The mirror universe ran parallel to their own and that was significant in allowing for success in making a portal. It would take more time to create portals to other universes that did not run so close to their own.

"Early this morning, Doctor Carol Marcus commed me because Regula I had come under attack," Jim continued, ignoring the pit in his stomach as he thought about the son he hadn't known he had until that comm. "It turns out that their attackers are Khan and the rest of the Augments. Spock has confirmed the U.S.S. Reliant was hijacked two days ago on the border of the Alpha and Beta quadrants. Its crew was left without any communicators on Ceti Alpha V. Had we not put the call out for a missing ship, they may never have been found."

"As of right now, Doctor Marcus and the other scientists, and their families, are on Regula I," Jim explained.

"Captain," Uhura asked as he paused. "Has anyone on Regula I seen Doctor McCoy or Doctor Latour?"

"Not yet," Jim said, feeling his heart sink again. It had been one of the first things he had asked Carol during their second comm.

"She's still alive," Cass said quietly. The room turned to look at her and she spoke more loudly. "Sabine is alive – I can feel her the same way I can feel Aubrey. But I can't communicate with her. And I don't know about McCoy but as long as Sabine is alive, I think the chances are good he is too."

Jim nodded at Cass.

'Sir," Sulu started, "How did they know to head to Regula I? This is a top secret project."

Jim sighed heavily. "A few days ago, Starfleet Command told me the Enterprise's information defenses had been hacked. At the time, I had no clue who could have done it. Now, I realize it was Khan and his buddies. Among other things, they looked up Carol's records and tracked her to Regula I. I'm assuming we were not the only place to be hacked."

"So we're headed to Regula I," he addressed the group, getting back to the matter at hand.

"That is where my team comes in," Commander Charvanek replied. "I must say, I never thought I'd see the day that Klingons, Romulans, and the Federation would be working together."

"Let's not get too comfortable with this," Toq replied.

"Noted," Jim said with a nod to both leaders. "Now, Commander Charvanek, please continue with your part of the plan."

"Our role has been two-fold thus far. We have partnered with both of your ships to share our technology with you. The first item to share is a rapid transport device which allows us to use wormholes in the galaxy to arrive quickly across quadrants. The second item we are sharing is a cloaking device so that when we arrive in the Beta quadrant, we will be hidden. Now, because the cloaking device does not work when traveling wormholes, we will need to arrive far enough away from Regula I to cloak our ships undetected. And when – or if – we choose to fire on the station or the Reliant, we will have to decloak because weapons can only be fired when the ships are decloaked."

Jim looked around the room. It felt surreal, seeing faces of friends and foes together, all united in this cause. But everyone knew what was at stake. Khan could not gain access to the mirrorverse. If he managed to gather the forces of the Terran Empire and bring them over to this universe in his quest for complete control, chaos would break out. They had to stop this and quickly.

"What happens when we get to Regula I?" Uhura asked.

"The Resurrection crews will beam down to the station," Adjoa answered. "It will be a search and rescue mission. Once we have Doctors McCoy and Latour, Aubrey, the scientists, and all their family members beamed back aboard our ships, we destroy the station and ship and anyone still on them."

"Make no mistake," Theo added. "We don't want any surviving Augments. I think we all learned our lesson the last time. No one's safe from them even when they're in cryofreeze."

"Alright guys. Let's take this son of a bitch out once and for all," Jim said. "Meeting adjourned."

* * *

They had disabled the day and night settings on the ship. McCoy was having a hard time keeping track of time without the lighting changes to guide him. A minute could feel like an hour and vice versa, depending on the whims of his captors. Upon grabbing him in the transporter room, two of his captors had immediately taken him to med bay. As they walked, McCoy paid attention to their surroundings, trying to determine which ship they'd been transported to. The ship was moving – he could hear the distinct hum of the engines. It was a nightmare in the med bay; worse than the med bay on the ISS Enterprise. McCoy now realized the things that had crawled out of Kib and Aahil's noses (Kalarian weevils – Khan had a whole tank of them) were just part of the collection of horribles that Khan had amassed. He was put to work, setting up tanks for certain creatures, compiling lists of what they would need to keep everything alive. If he asked too many questions, his face met the backhand of an impatient Augment. But if he asked nothing, he wouldn't know what to do with the various creatures and substances.

"This would all be a lot easier if you gave me a PADD so I could look everything up," he muttered after receiving another stinging slap for his inquiries. While Sabine could protect him from feeling any pain she experienced through their connection, he hadn't gained the discipline to block her so she knew when he was hit. Every time he was slapped, she felt him react to the pain.

"We give you a PADD, you'll try using it to contact your ship," one of the Augments assigned to babysitting him sniffed.

"Well then, you can't hit me every time I ask you something," McCoy replied, peevishly.

The Augment advanced on him, picking him up by the scruff of his neck. "We can do whatever we like with you," he snarled as McCoy struggled to take a breath.

"Put him down," came a bored, familiar voice. The Augment complied but not without a final squeeze of McCoy's neck and a leer.

"Leave us," Khan ordered the Augments. They exited the med bay.

Khan regarded McCoy coolly as the doctor wheezed, then worked his way back to his feet. McCoy glared at the other man.

"This is a damn den of violations," he growled at Khan, gesturing around them to the med bay. "Half of these species are illegal and I don't even know what to make of the other half. You have substances in here that are outlawed by every known jurisdiction in the galaxy. This isn't a med bay – it's a damn torture chamber."

"Doctor, save your lecture. You are only alive because I am kind enough to remember that it was you who spared me from death. It was you who kept my followers from death. If not for those actions, I would happily squeeze the life out of you right here and now, then use your corpse as food for my pets. Do not forget that. If you make yourself a nuisance, I will not hesitate to end you."

"Why'd you bring us here if you don't have a need for us?" McCoy countered.

"I don't have a need for you. I said nothing about your companion."

At that, McCoy felt a rage inside him. What were their plans for Sabine? How could he defend her? But he remembered her voice in his head as they'd stood on the transporter platform.

_Do not let them know your feelings. I am nothing to you right now. Whatever you do, do not reach out to me. They will feel it and they cannot find out we have a lifebond._

He had to act like he wasn't worried for her – no more worried than he'd be for any member of his crew. He snorted and got back to unpacking Khan's shop of horrors.

"Why would you want Latour?" he asked, hoping there was enough dismissiveness in his voice.

"Oh come now, Doctor. Even you must know how unique her abilities are," Khan replied.

"I'd think her abilities would be chump change to y'all," McCoy argued.

Khan didn't reply, moving towards the exit. The other Augments returned to watch him, and one of them silently offered him a PADD.

"There's no connection to communication channels on this, so don't get any bright ideas," she said as she handed it to him. "All you can do is look up information for the lab."

He nodded and took it from her.

Hours later, they allowed him to stop working, took him to his "cell" – nothing more than a room that had been cleared of all furniture. He noticed the hum of the engines was no longer present – they had stopped moving at some point. The wall comm didn't work and the doors remained closed despite all his attempts to open them. He sighed and settled down in a corner, to attempt sleep, if it would come to him. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw another damn image from med bay. He was certain he'd never wash the guilt off of himself for being forced to assist in the set-up of that vile place.

The door to his cell opened and an Augment came in, dragging someone with him. McCoy had turned down the lights in the room but the Augment ordered them back on before throwing the other person down and leaving. McCoy stared at his new roommate in shock.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked, backing away from the other man.

"It would appear I am doing the same thing you are – being held against my will," the Vulcan replied.

McCoy took in the bruises and cuts on his new guest.

"But how? How are you here?"

Mirror Spock looked at him. "I was hoping you could tell me," he responded before slumping down.


	119. Chapter 119

Know your enemy.

The phrase tumbled through Sabine's mind.

She knew about Khan; no one born when she was could've avoided knowing about the Augments. They were taught about them in school. They listened to their parents talk about Augments and the damage that had been done, the friends that had been lost, in worried, hushed tones. But knowing about his exploits was not the same as knowing him. And if Sabine and McCoy had any hope of surviving, of getting out, she needed to learn more about what made Khan tick – she needed to gain his trust. He was making it simultaneously very easy and very difficult on her. The visits were frequent but while he was not someone she would describe as subtle – his bursts of anger and his arrogance precluded any descriptions of nuance one might be inclined to use for him– he was still inscrutable in many ways. Sabine worried from the start that he would want her to sleep with him. She remembered friends from the Peacekeepers who had been forced to use sex in exchange for information or something else they needed. It had been one indignity she was glad she'd never faced. But now, she was concerned the time had come. She didn't even let herself entertain thoughts of what McCoy would do or say if he knew what she was considering. To get through this ordeal, she had to compartmentalize – it was enough that he was alive and that her shield on his mind was still working. Right now, her focus was on the man in front of her. He'd had her brought to his quarters.

"The ship stopped moving some time ago," she said to Khan. "Have we reached a destination?"

"Of sorts," he replied with a smile and cold eyes.

"Why will you not tell me?" she asked. "Surely you realize I can do nothing to communicate any information you share to Starfleet."

"Is that so?" he asked as he pulled her arm roughly and jerked her around so she was facing the same direction as him. "How do I know what you're capable of when you won't let me inside that head of yours?" he hissed in her ear.

"But I have let you inside," she replied softly, keeping her voice calm and her breathing steady. Showing him fear would only excite him more.

"You expect me to believe what you showed me was the entirety of your mind?"

That she had let him see as much as she had made Sabine sick to think about but it was all in service of staying alive.

"I regret you found my mind so disappointing," she replied coolly. He spun her around to face him and stared at her, searching for a crack in the façade. She held his gaze, willing herself to feel a confidence she didn't know she could fake until that moment.

"Perhaps I will find the rest of you equally disappointing," he whispered.

"Rather bold of you to assume I would let you have your way with me," she replied, ice in her veins. "If I let you enjoy my body now, you would lose interest – I would be even more boring to you. I am smarter than that."

He laughed in response. "And you think I won't cast you aside for refusing me?"

"Maybe you will," she shot back. "But I think you are too interested in what I might be able to offer you. You have to win my trust just as I must win yours."

He threw her to the floor and stalked out of the room. Moments later, Aubrey entered.

"You should stop playing games with him," she said to Sabine in a flat voice, watching with dead eyes as the human telepath got up.

"What did he do to you?" Sabine asked, approaching the Betazoid and grabbing her hands. Aubrey didn't answer but Sabine was already in her mind. What she saw made her gasp in dismay. Aubrey had never let Sabine spend much time in her mind but now it was nothing like the few memories Sabine had. What had once looked like a gallery of artwork, each chamber devoted to a different artist, with memories hung on the walls, was now a wasteland. Everything was black. The rooms looked as though bombs had been released within them, painted memories torn asunder. Where there had once been gardens to rival the gardens of Versailles, now there was nothing but black weeds, broken fountains filled with brackish water, and trees without leaves.

Where are you? I know you must be in here somewhere.

Her response was the sound of a small child sobbing. Sabine moved towards the cries, unsure of what she might find. In a clearing, next to something that might have once been a charming farm but was now a shell of burnt wood, Sabine saw the young girl, sitting under a tree sobbing, her head buried in her arms, which rested on her knees.

Hello.

The girl looked up, startled.

_Who are you? Don't hurt me._

I would never. Are you okay?

_I'm scared. I don't want him to find me._

Who?

_The scary man_  -  _Daddy._

Sabine felt something twist in her stomach.

Your father? He is here?

The little girl nodded, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

_If I play this game good enough, he won't find me._

You are hiding from him?

_Yes. I don't want him to hurt me again._

When did he last hurt you?

_I was bad the other day. I tried to tell my friends to come visit. He found me and punished me._

Your friends? How did you try to talk to them?

_Like you and me are talking right now. But in my sleep._

Sabine touched the little girl's face.

Which friends were you looking for?

_My sister. And another friend but I can't remember who right now._

Sabine felt another wave of anxiety roll through her.

What does he do when he punishes you?

The girl shrugged. Sabine felt sick inside. She gestured around them.

Did he do this?

Another timid nod from the child.

Does he do other things?

Yet another nod.

Are you sure he is your father?

The girl looked at her in confusion.

_He does the things my daddy did to me. He must be my daddy._

Sabine knelt down so she was at eye level with the girl.

I do not think he is your father. But he is a very bad man.

Somewhere a twig snapped. The girl looked up sharply and began to tremble. Sabine put her hands on the girl's shoulders.

Go. Hide. I will distract him.

_He'll hurt you._

I will be fine. Go now.

She gave the girl a tiny push but she child didn't need much prompting. She ran off and Sabine turned to where the noise had come from. Khan stepped into the clearing.

You have abused her to the point that she does not recognize who you are.

_She resisted me. I made her understand resistance would not be tolerated._

Sabine felt disgust pool inside her. Before she could reply, they were out of Aubrey's mind, back in Khan's quarters. She stood before him with clenched fists. Quickly, she changed her stance, forcing herself to relax, forcing the anger off her face.

"Should I expect similar treatment?" she asked, giving him what she hoped was a coy smile.

"Thus far, you have been less obstinate than our Betazoid friend. Did you know it was a Betazoid from whom I originally discovered I could steal telepathy?"

The thought churned Sabine's stomach but she kept the smile plastered on her face. "Oh?" she asked with feigned interest.

"Why yes. While I was still under the watchful eye of Admiral Marcus –"

"Horrible man," Sabine muttered, knowing Khan was no fan of him. For her comment, he granted her a nod and a smile.

"Indeed. While I was planning his demise, I discovered his collection of antiques. He owned one of these," Khan pulled the trainer out of his pants pocket. The sight of the thing caused Sabine's confidence to falter ever so slightly and his smile deepened.

"Don't worry. I won't be using this on you – for now," the implied threat left her feeling cold, as though she were naked under his gaze. "With this, I was able to acquire the mental abilities of a Betazoid agent. The effects were temporary but they gave me enough time to bring others into my plan."

"Commodore Nighy?" Sabine asked. He gave her a shrewd look.

"You're starting to put it all together," he leered.

"Did you use the trainer on Aubrey? How did you do that to her mind? I've never seen a mind so disjointed before," Sabine murmured.

"That's enough questions for now," Khan stated, threatening to tap her with the trainer by waving it close to her head. Sabine fell to her knees in a show of submissiveness she knew would please him.

"Take her back to her quarters," he commanded the Augment lurking in the shadows; his right hand man who had made it clear he hated her for coming along and disrupting the hierarchy. She was almost more afraid of the nameless man than Khan. As the Augment hauled her to her feet, Khan came up to her, preventing her passage.

"As a measure of goodwill," he said, "We are in the Beta Quadrant, at a science station, Regula I. Does that satisfy your curiosity for now?"

She nodded, unwilling to speak, for fear he would know how nervous she actually was – how each encounter with him filled her with dread. He stepped aside and the Augment yanked her forward, back to her rec room holding pen.

Back in her room, Sabine paced, thinking. How had they made it to the Beta Quadrant so quickly? In order to somehow intercept them, Khan had to have been in at least the same quadrant as them to start. Even if he had been on the edge of the Alpha Quadrant, which was a stretch because Sabine didn't think it was possible to transport someone from such a distance as Nara II to the edge of Alpha – but allowing for that, because he had clearly used a technology she'd never seen before to kidnap them – allowing for that, it still should have been a journey of a week, maybe more, from the edge of Alpha into the heart of Beta. And she assumed they were deep within the Beta Quadrant. Khan clearly had sophisticated technology. Which made it all the more unlikely that the Enterprise would be able to find them without some sort of contact. She needed to get ahold of a communicator. Needed to tell Jim where they were and tell Cass about Aubrey. Even then, she needed to be somewhere safe enough to wait the week or two it would take for the Enterprise to reach them. Sabine wondered if she could find a place to hide on the science station. She also wondered what was so important about the station. Khan wouldn't have chosen it without a reason. There were so many questions and she had no answers.

* * *

" _Are you okay?"_

" _I've been a helluva lot better but I'm alive," McCoy grumbled in response. "What is this place anyway?"_

" _A dream," Sabine replied. "It was the only way I could think of to communicate with you without getting caught." She was so relieved they were both sleeping at the same time. She'd been so nervous to reach out for fear he would be with Khan at the same time and her act would be exposed._

" _Am I gonna remember this when I wake up?"_

" _Perhaps bits and pieces," she admitted. "Not the whole thing."_

" _Guess that's better than nothing. Are you okay?" He eyed her. She had bruises and she looked tired as hell. He supposed he didn't feel much better but at least he had been able to take a dermal regenerator to his own marks from the Augments' constant beatings._

" _I will be fine," she said evasively._

" _What's he doing to you?" McCoy growled._

" _Nothing I cannot handle," she said impatiently. "Now tell me about the telepath you are sharing a room with."_

" _You can feel him?" McCoy asked._

" _Yes, and it is strange. He feels like Spock," Sabine answered._

" _He is Spock. But not our Spock. He's from the mirrorverse."_

" _Is he the one who melded with you without your permission?"_

" _The same," McCoy sighed. He reached over to Sabine, extending his palm to her and she took him up on the offer. He hadn't been sure they could do this in a dream but sure enough, she was in his head, catching up on the past who-knows-how-long. Mirror Spock claimed it had been several hours since he'd been captured and Vulcans were supposed to be good at tracking time. McCoy felt like an eternity had passed since their own capture. She could see his initial dismay at the appearance of Mirror Spock. Wisely, the Vulcan had kept to himself, though some of that was due to the injuries he had suffered in their med bay of horrors. Upon realizing how badly Spock had been harmed, McCoy had done his best to offer aid, stealing a hypo from the med bay to alleviate the pain. Mirror Spock had apologized for violating McCoy's mind the last time they'd met. Had explained he was now the captain of the ISS Enterprise. He had deposed Kirk, had gotten rid of Sulu – even Mirror McCoy had been eliminated. Captain Spock had a new mission for the ship and only those loyal to his vision had remained. Mirror Spock might be interested in creating a new version of the Terran Empire that shared some of Starfleet's lofty aspirations, but it was still the mirrorverse he functioned within – people died, brutally, when they didn't fall in line. Sabine pulled her hand away gently._

" _The enemy of my enemy is my friend," McCoy said softly. "Not the best saying, considering what happened to the guy who coined it, but still…"_

" _You trust him?" Sabine asked._

" _Don't have much of a choice right now," he answered. Before she could completely pull away from him, McCoy grabbed her hand once more. "I showed you mine, you show me yours."_

_Before she could object, he was in her head. She held her breath, wary of how he would respond to the dangerous game she was playing. He pulled away from her to make eye contact, removed his hand from hers and slowly brought it to her face._

" _My God, darlin', I'm so sorry," he said softly as he caressed her cheek. Without thinking she leaned into his touch, so hungry for something that didn't feel dirty or depraved._

" _I should apologize. You must think me horrible for playing along – for encouraging it," she murmured as he pulled her closer. She wanted to live in this embrace forever – to never wake up from this dream. It was so pure here. She didn't have to deceive anyone. They could just love each other._

" _You're doing what you can to keep us alive. You know I can feel your emotions, right? I know you're not happy about this," he replied, skimming his lips against her forehead._

_For a moment, they held each other close, not speaking – just savoring the feel of a loved one._

" _I'll kill him," McCoy finally muttered._

" _Whatever it takes to keep us alive, that is all I care about," Sabine whispered._

Before he could reply, her sleep was interrupted. Khan's right hand man was there, kicking Sabine to wake her up. It took all her self-control to not fling him across the room with her mind. But any telekinetic display against the Augments would prove to Khan she wasn't interested in joining him. She needed him to believe she was considering defecting.

"Where are we going?" she asked the man as he jerked her along.

"You'll see," he replied, shoving her so hard she almost fell in the corridor.

They weren't heading in the normal direction. Normal. What was normal anymore? She was pretty certain they hadn't even been on this ship a full 48 hours yet. But everything – time, space, memory – it was all distorted. She would not put it past Khan to be drugging her, McCoy – maybe all of them. The more time they spent with him, the harder it was becoming for her to do basic mental tasks, like keeping the shield over her mind and McCoy's. Granted, she had let her own shield slip partially in her perhaps-failed attempt to let Khan believe she would show him her mind. Sabine had yet to completely figure out how he had managed to control Nighy's mind with the trainer. How did he get his abilities from it? How long did they last? And how could she destroy the sticks when she had no clue where any of them were?

She didn't have time to think about it anymore because her captor tugged her to the left and then, they were in med bay. Only, it was like no med bay she'd ever seen. In the back of her mind, she had a vague recollection of seeing this place before. Had it been in her dream? Had McCoy shown this to her? McCoy. He was there, looking like he too had been rudely awakened, and she fought all her urges to run to him, instead regarding him coolly as she took in her surroundings.

"Do you like it?" a familiar voice asked her. She turned to see Khan leaving what would have been the doctor's office of the bay.

"It is certainly unique among medical facilities," she demurred. He laughed and the sound chilled her.

"I have a task for you," he murmured in her ear, while beckoning two Augments to step forward. Between them, they drug a half-conscious man in a Starfleet uniform.

"You wish to gain my trust?" Khan asked her loudly, in front of the crowd of Augments within med bay. McCoy grumbled something and received a swift slap from his captor.

"Kill this man and you will take the first step to proving yourself worthy," Khan baited her.

Sabine moved to approach the man. "Is he not already close to death?" she asked, placing her palm against his forehead to push his head back so she could see his face.

"Perhaps, but I want you to finish him," Khan replied.

The man wasn't Starfleet. Sabine had read him, quickly. He was an Augment. He'd been beaten and tortured – his crime being nothing more than a general perception among the others that he was weaker than them. But Khan wanted her to believe he was Starfleet. Wanted McCoy to watch her kill someone else. He wanted to know if she would maintain her act in front of her commanding officer.

"How would you like me to do this?" she asked quietly, her eyes never leaving Khan's. From somewhere, a phaser was handed to her.

She took no pleasure in ending another's life, even if that other was an Augment. But death from a phaser was far quicker than anything else they had put him through. It was done in an instant, the phaser taken from her before she had time to think of where to aim it next.

"You're a traitor," snarled McCoy. "We trusted you and you're no better than the rest of them." He was quickly subdued but it didn't matter. They had exchanged thoughts. He knew where she stood and she knew he would do what he could to help her win Khan's trust, even if it meant a severe beating for his outburst.

They were brought back to the med bay several more times over the course of the next day or so. McCoy didn't understand why Khan insisted that he be there, other than to rub it in his face that his second-in-command had flipped. So he continued to put on a show of how disgusted he was – of how she'd be court-martialed when Starfleet intervened. Inside, he hated watching her go through this. The second summoning was easy enough – she had to insert a tracker in a man. They both agreed he was one of the scientists and Sabine disabled the tracker before injecting it. The third summoning, they were brought into the bay to find another man on one of the biobeds. Sabine was ordered to take the larvae of a Ceti eel, one of the many creatures housed within the med bay, and insert it into the man's ear. Ceti eels rendered their hosts extremely susceptible to outside suggestion.

Without needing confirmation from Sabine, McCoy was certain that this man was no Augment. She was being asked to torture an innocent. He watched her retrieve the larvae from where it hid in the rock-like plates covering the mother eel. She held the larvae in forceps over the man's ears, and placed her hand on the side of his head to tilt him so she could drop the larvae in his ear canal. He made shrieking noises as it slid in and had it not been for the slight waver of the forceps in her hand after the ordeal, McCoy might have begun to suspect she had actually flipped. On her way back to the tank that contained the Ceti eel, she glanced at him, just for a moment, but it was long enough to let him know everything she had done and learned from the man on the table.

She had killed the larvae via telekinesis just before dropping it in the man's ear, had communicated with the man that he needed to find a doctor when he got back to the science base to have it extracted. She asked him to make a good show of being in pain and to follow whatever directives Khan gave him before returning him to Regula I. His shrieks had been only partially exaggerated. He was terrified and Sabine worried he would not believe what she had told him. He was one of the scientists from the station they were docked at and he had been chosen for this act because he had refused to give Khan the communication codes when they had first arrived.

Sabine tried, but failed, to keep her fear from seeping through their brief connection. McCoy could feel how petrified she was – she knew she'd been lucky so far to avoid actually harming an innocent. She doubted that luck would continue. McCoy tried to comfort her but it had been such a quick exchange, he wasn't sure she had felt anything from him.

* * *

"Your CMO does not seem to think very highly of you," Khan remarked, watching Sabine as she stood in front of him like a cat watching a canary.

"That is what happens when you get caught sleeping with someone else," Sabine replied, keeping her voice devoid of emotion.

After the latest display in med bay, Khan had been pleased enough to bring her back to his quarters.

"And yet, you chose to join the Enterprise, knowing he would be your commanding officer," Khan noted.

"It is the best ship in the fleet," Sabine explained. "And maybe I enjoy toying with him."

Khan gave her a long look. "Perhaps I have underestimated you," he observed.

"You would not be the first."

Khan was pulled away to attend to something and while Sabine was curious to know exactly what it was, she was more interested in connecting with Aubrey, who seemed to reside with Khan in his quarters. With him gone, she sought out the other telepath, finding Aubrey sitting at a desk in the common room, staring blankly at the wall. Sabine sat down beside her and grabbed her hand.

Once more, she was in the wrecked landscape of Aubrey's mind.

_Come and find me._

The sing-song voice of the small child was especially eerie in such a barren place. After a few minutes, Sabine found the young girl, hiding under the folds of what had once been a portrait depicting Aubrey and a group of Klingons, presumably on a raid together.

How are you today?

_I'm okay. It's lonely here._

I am so sorry. You know your sister is coming for you. You will not be alone for long.

Sabine hoped she was telling the truth. She hoped they all lived long enough for the Enterprise and Cass to find them.

_I made my sister mad. I don't know if she wants to see me again._

Sabine put her arm around the little girl.

I know she loves you and she wants nothing more than to see you again.

_You're different than daddy. You are the only other person to visit me. Are you going to hurt me?_

No, never. I promise.

The girl gave her a skeptical look and based on everything Sabine had learned from her, she understood.

The more time Sabine spent in Aubrey's mind, the less convinced she was that the damage she saw could be reversed. She had done what she could to explain to the child that the man she was so afraid of was not her father. Given what she knew of Aubrey's past, she realized, however much it upset and disgusted her, why the Betazoid was confused. What she didn't comprehend was how Khan had reduced her to this childlike state and so thoroughly destroyed her mind.

* * *

Back in their shared room, Mirror Spock regarded McCoy as he sank to the floor.

"You seem particularly distressed, Doctor."

"She's not gonna be able to keep coming up with solutions, Spock. At some point, they're gonna put her in a position where she has to choose between taking an innocent life or turning on them," McCoy replied tiredly.

"You speak of your colleague?" Spock asked and McCoy nodded. "Do you believe she will choose to kill an innocent to keep the charade going?"

McCoy shrugged. It was a question that had no easy answer but McCoy suspected that Sabine would choose to throw off the act before she would take an innocent life, regardless of how futile such a decision might be for their escape. Mirror Spock was not so sure.

"It would appear she is considerably more than just a colleague to you. Would she would lay down her life if she thought it would keep you safe?" Spock murmured. McCoy said nothing in reply but his eyes revealed his thoughts. "If she is willing to sacrifice herself for your safety, what makes you think she would not sacrifice another's life? In my universe, a colleague's willingness to go to such extremes is lauded."

"In your universe, life is cheap," McCoy countered.

"Perhaps. But the willingness to go to such lengths for another. I would think that kind of sacrifice is looked upon highly in either universe."

"There was a time I thought that kinda sacrifice wasn't necessary in this universe," McCoy said as he rubbed his face. "I know now I was wrong but that doesn't make it easier to watch."

* * *

"I want to know more about what you have done to Aubrey," Sabine told Khan forcefully as she sat on the corner of his bed and accepted a drink from him.

"What more do you need to know? You've looked into her mind. Why do you need me to explain what you see?"

"I do not understand how you crippled her so completely," Sabine replied, determined for him to answer her.

"She is inferior. She did not have the defenses people like you and I have, my dear," he answered as he sat next to her and ran his hand up her arm.

"How are you controlling her?" she asked him. "You are not using a traditional form of telepathy."

"So full of questions," Khan murmured as his hand tangled in her hair. She wanted to snap at him that he couldn't touch her hair but she fought the urge. "I'm not like you, my dear. I don't have your preternatural mental skills. But I can control Aubrey through other means."

"What means? How are you doing it?" She could not hide her frustration.

He seemed amused by her consternation. Their conversation was interrupted by Aubrey herself, the woman placing a tray of food before them, her eyes still as empty as ever. Khan waved her off dismissively.

"Are you sleeping with her? You know she thinks you are her father?" Sabine didn't try to hide her revulsion.

"My, but you are prudish," Khan responded with amusement. "She is a novelty to my crew and I allow them to indulge themselves from time to time. Sleeping with a regular human is so very interesting, as you well know," he said smugly.

Sabine fought off a wave of nausea.

"Aubrey is not just a human," she said, her jaw tight. "She is part-Betazoid."

Khan laughed at her. "Does it matter? She is inferior."

Sabine bit her tongue to keep from arguing further with the Augment. She wanted to scream at him, to tell him just how ridiculous his views were…but that wouldn't help her win his trust. So she took a different direction.

"If you think you can do the same to me –"

"Why would I want to? No, my pet. When I take you for my own, I intend to do so with all your facilities intact. I want to look in your eyes and know you are there inside that mind, submitting to me."

His words made her mouth dry and no amount of drink could help.

"My dear," he began, as though changing the subject, "I cannot help but be a bit disappointed in you."

"Oh?" Sabine asked, wondering just what she had done to warrant his disappointment. She couldn't say she felt bad. Failing to meet a psychopath's hopes and expectations wasn't exactly something she would've lost sleep over in any other situation. Still, she sat up a bit straighter, ready to learn what else she needed to do to please this evil lunatic.

"You continue to ask me how I am controlling Aubrey, how I can borrow telepathic abilities. I would have thought you could have put it together by now," he replied with a tsking sound. Oh how she hated him.

"Why would you make that assumption? I am not a full Augment like you and your followers. I do not have your intelligence," she groveled, every word feeling like a rock to spit out of her mouth.

"No, you are not a full Augment. But you are the one who wrote the research that made it possible for me to steal the abilities of others." He watched her intently with a small smile on his face.

Sabine felt like the floor had dropped out from under her. "My research?" she gasped.

Khan got up from the bed, his back to her as he stood in front of a dresser. "Yes," he called back to her. "Your research on mixing augmented blood with that of regular humans. Surely you remember it."

Of course she did. And she remembered that Section 31 had hacked her PADD at the Academy. He must have found it when he was working for the Section. But how did it help him control Aubrey? Oh God, she had never meant for her research to be used like this. She could hear him tinkering with various vials that had been sitting on the dresser top. What was he up to?

"I know exactly what research you are referring to," she replied coldly. "Just how does it fit in with what you are doing to Aubrey?"

He turned to her with a hypospray in one hand and the trainer in his other hand.

"Your research focused on diluting augmented blood so that it would be more palpable to regular humans. But what if you did not dilute it? What if you increased the augmentation – particularly, the markers for aggression and anger? What if you injected another being with such a potent mix?"

Sabine realized in horror what he was suggesting. "You would kill them if you injected them with too much!"

"All at once, yes," he agreed. "But over time, a resilience would build up." As he came towards her, she stood up from the bed and backed away from him.

"Even then," she countered. "The effects would be devastating." She continued to back away from him. The hypospray was filled with a mixture of his blood and whatever reagents he had used to further enhance it – that's what he'd been doing at the dresser.

"Depends on your definition of devastating. Once enough of my blood has been introduced, say into someone with telepathic tendencies, all I need is to use this," he held the trainer up, "and their abilities become mine, at least temporarily. If I want to maintain more accurate control for longer, it helps to have my target within aural and visual range."

"Which is why you keep Aubrey in here, with you," Sabine deduced.

"Very good," he confirmed. "It took me a while to get the measurements just right, you know. With Commodore Nighy, I gave her too much blood. Drove her mad, though I must admit, I was impressed with her single-minded determination to do as I commanded. I do wonder what I could do to your former captain, should he come looking for us."

Sabine froze. Jim had Khan's blood in him. It had been diluted though. Could Khan really control him if he wanted?

"Captain Kirk cannot be controlled by you," she challenged Khan. "You would have tried already and he has done nothing to indicate your control."

"So certain, aren't you? While you are correct that I cannot control him from afar, you have not taken into account what I could do to him face-to-face."

Sabine had backed herself into the wall on the opposite end of Khan's quarters. There was nowhere else to run. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him.

"No explanation is complete without a demonstration, wouldn't you agree?" He was enjoying her obvious fear.

"Please do not –"

He injected her with the hypospray before she could finish her sentence. She felt it instantly, a heat spreading up and down her arm. Her glass dropped out of her hand and shattered on the floor. She felt rage flair up in her. Everything, all her senses, were heightened and she pushed him away from her angrily. She would kill him. And enjoy it.

"Ah yes," Khan purred. "Now we see the real you."

"This is not me," she replied through gritted teeth, fighting the urge to rip his throat out right then and there. That was what he wanted her to do. Doubtless, if she tried to kill him, he'd have her tackled to the floor in an instant.

He set the trainer down on the table beside him and flipped a switch on it. In an instant, Sabine fell to her knees, broken glass embedding within them, the sound of static blaring in her mind. He was there, inside her and he was mining her worst memories. Everything she'd hidden from him the first time she'd let him into her head. He had access to all of it. The static – she knew that sound. It was the static of the monitor on Resurrection IV after Paris had been bombed. She clapped her hands over her ears to try and drown out the sound even while she knew it was coming from inside her.

Sabine screamed and reached out to the only person she could think of.


	120. Chapter 120

McCoy was slumped against the wall of his shared cell, staring ahead of him as he tried, one more time, to come up with some sort of plan for getting off the ship. Mirror Spock was meditating because of course he was. Damn Vulcans.

Suddenly, his mind was flooded with pain and a scream so loud, he thought his ears would start bleeding.

"Sabine," he cried out and Mirror Spock looked up and over at him.

"What is it, Doctor?"

McCoy's breath was labored as he fought to control the chaos in his head. "He's doing something to her – he's in her head." He could feel the damage. Anger and rage from inside her poured into him. He was paralyzed by the amount of hate she was radiating. This wasn't Sabine. What had Khan done to her? Her mental city was shaking as though in an earthquake. What little control she had left was being used to protect her memories and thoughts of him and the small part of her that hadn't been swallowed up by an all-consuming desire for violence and destruction was begging him to help.

"Spock," he gasped. "What do I do? How do I help her?" The Vulcan knelt in front of him, searching his eyes.

"May I?" he asked McCoy, holding his hand up to meld.

"Oh God, do what you need to," McCoy panted. "Help her!"

He didn't even feel the Vulcan touch him, didn't hear him as Mirror Spock intoned, "My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts." All McCoy could feel was Sabine's anguish and it tore him apart.

Mirror Spock made quick work of ascertaining what was happening and he began to assist Sabine in resisting Khan. It wasn't easy – he felt perspiration break out on his forehead and along his nose as he mentally pushed against the Augment with her. He could feel how much of her had been conquered by his blood, how much of her wanted to kill anything she could get her hands on. Mirror Spock did his best to assist her in building a mental wall to block out Khan. McCoy seemed to understand, from observing him, what to do and began to help as well. The three of them together were too much for Khan.

In his quarters, Khan stared at Sabine after she had repelled her from his mind.

"You are strong," he told her. "So much stronger than I expected."

She remained silent, partly because she would not tell him it had taken three people to force him out of her head, and partly because she still felt sick from what he had done to her, limited as it may have been. She felt a bloodlust within her and remaining silent seemed the best way to keep herself from erupting. Parts of her mind were as hollowed out as Aubrey's had been. Now she understood. No wonder Aubrey was in her current state.

Sabine was taken back to her cell and she rolled up on the floor, weeping over what she'd experienced. Mirror Spock withdrew from her mind but McCoy stayed, doing what he could to soothe her.

_It's gonna be alright. The blood will get diluted. Eventually the cells will die out._

Leo, you know normal red blood cells live for approximately 110 days. Who knows how long Khan's live for? Remember Commodore Nighy?

_I know, I know. But your blood is gonna take over. He only gave you a hypospray's worth, right?_

Yes. Oh my God. I can feel it everywhere. What if I can't overpower it?

_You will. I know it._

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

Her scream in his head reminded him that he had no way of knowing what would happen - neither of them did. But he had to believe she was stronger than Nighy - stronger than Aubrey. He could not picture her turning into another one of Khan's tools. He could feel it in her too and McCoy did his best to avoid sinking into despondence. He had to convince Sabine she could fight it. He knew she could and he hated that she had faced so much – hated that he couldn't do more to keep her out of harm's way. He fed her hope and confidence through their connection but this was all still new to him and he wasn't sure the emotions he was passing to her were near enough to combat what she was going through. Still, they had to keep some sort of expectation for survival afloat.

_Stay with me, darlin'. It's okay. You're gonna be okay._

What if he turns me into a sleeper cell of some sort? 

_A what?_

Of course he had no idea what she was talking about. How nice to live in a world without firsthand knowledge of things like sleeper cells and concentration camps.

Like…mmm…a spy or a terrorist who is inactive within a target population until triggered to act. 

_That's not you. You're not gonna turn._

But all he could feel was Sabine's pain and fear in return.

* * *

Once McCoy eventually left Sabine's mind, because she was tired and wanted to sleep, he found himself alone in his cell with Mirror Spock.

"Thank you," McCoy told the Vulcan awkwardly. Mirror Spock simply nodded in reply.

McCoy had questions though. He always did.

"Why were you so willing to help us?" he asked, no trace of suspicion in his voice.

"Logic dictates I should align myself with those who have similar goals to my own," Mirror Spock replied. "You two are my best – and only – way of escaping this ship and returning to my own universe."

McCoy gave the other man a hard look. "Are our goals so aligned? I'd think you'd find Khan's philosophy of superiority more appealing."

Mirror Spock met McCoy's gaze with an unwavering one of his own. "Doctor, you are under the mistaken assumption that because I come from my universe, all of my motivations are driven by the same impulses as someone like Khan. In contrast, Khan should be an example to you of the notion that evil people can live in a peaceful universe and vice versa."

"So, you want me to believe you're on the side of goodness and light when you're captain of the Terran Empire's flag ship?" McCoy didn't hide his skepticism.

Mirror Spock sighed. "Much has changed in my universe since I met you and your friends. The ISS Enterprise has fallen in stature due to changes I implemented."

"Changes based on what? Starfleet ideals?"

"In a word, yes. I am not so foolish to think my new goals will be achieved in my lifetime. As indicated by the fact that my ship has been relegated to the far edges of the Empire, on routine border sweeps, it is clear there is great resistance to my ideas. But I believe the hope for my universe lies in the next generations. I want them to know such change is possible. Change can start with one person and affect an entire galaxy. People like Khan would have you believe one person is too insignificant to make an impact. His whole philosophy is designed to divide people and make them feel worthless unless they have someone else to look down upon. I am familiar with these tactics. They are the same used by my Empire."

"We could help, you know," McCoy replied thoughtfully. "You don't have to change the entire system yourself."

"On the contrary, Doctor, I think it is important that the change comes from within my universe, not because of outside interference from yours. That is part of why I resisted Khan's offer."

"But you wouldn't be considering trying to change the Terran Empire if not for interference in the first place," McCoy said in mild exasperation.

"Perhaps. But do you truly believe that my concerns only arose from spending a handful of hours with you and your crewmates?"

"Guess not," McCoy answered. "I don't get it. If you can see the good in equality, why can't others in your universe? You killed your Jim, your Sulu – hell, you had your version of me executed. Why is it so different over there?" McCoy had not forgotten, would never forget, the things he had seen in his first, nonconsensual meld with Mirror Spock. It chilled him to think of a version of himself that would look at Khan's med bay and clap gleefully but he was certain the mirrorverse McCoy would've done exactly that.

"Think of our universes as timelines sharing common turning points," Mirror Spock replied. "In your timeline, when beings have hit a low point, be it humanity after WWIII or Vulcans in the age before Surak, they have opted to improve themselves – to embrace changes that would benefit the whole. Yours is a universe of optimism, where beings, by and large, do not give up on themselves, but instead push for betterment. In my timeline, we have chosen instead to benefit only select groups. When we have hit our lowest points, we embraced what brought us to them – the ugliness and hatred. My timeline is one based on fear – yours is one based on hope. Our societies made different choices in our lowest points and that has made all the difference. However, neither is perfect. You will always struggle with those looking to bring others down via death or subjugation. Mine will always have individuals who seek something better for the common good."

McCoy said nothing in return, staring thoughtfully at the other man. Mirror Spock had given him a lot to think over.

* * *

Everything about their captivity on the Reliant was designed to wear them down. Sabine knew it. But that didn't make it any easier to get through. Knowing she was being tortured didn't diminish the pain, the hunger, the thirst, and the fucking fatigue.

She figured out the Augments were watching them in their respective rooms. Moments after she fell asleep, they would wake her up. She was offered food and drink if she was in Khan's presence – otherwise, they gave her water only when she was on the brink of dehydration. And then there was the constant kicking from Khan's right hand man. He kicked her every chance he got. And there were plenty of chances because Khan was relentlessly using the goddamn trainer on her – no matter how many times he zapped her with it, she lost the ability to use her legs every damn time. Unable to use her arms or legs to defend herself, Sabine weathered the kicks with gritted teeth, promising herself if she had the opportunity to kill any more of the Augments, he would be the first to go. Even without Khan's blood in her system, she would look forward to the sadist's death.

It wasn't as though the Augments were a particularly unified group anyway. Sabine had listened to several of them in the brief moments she had been exposed to them. They grumbled about Khan and bitched about one another. It wasn't the in the way that the Enterprise crew griped at one another or the way the Resurrection crew teased each other. These people hated one another. Sabine had a good idea now of just how miserable it was inside their heads.

Being around the Augments was toying with Sabine in a way that McCoy would never fully comprehend. Sabine was reliving her own past as she spent more time around these people. Everything they did and said reminded her of where she had come from, of what she had spent her life before the jump to Iowa fighting. It was an emotional toll that wouldn't have mattered as much if not for the fact that everything else was stress and fear and pain. When she did sleep, the first thing she would see were her memories of Earth in her time. She'd had a court-side seat to watching the decline of democracy in the United States of America and memories she had long forgotten were now front and center when she closed her eyes. Camps. Children separated from their parents. Inmates forced to labor for free. Then inmates killed as overcrowding became an issue. First it was the people trying to come into the U.S. Then it was those with "criminal records" which somehow was twisted into only African Americans. Then it was LGBTQ people. And then, anyone who opposed the administration. The camps stopped being labor camps. They were death camps. The cycle had happened before – Germany in the 1930s, Khan and his followers in various locations around the world. And now, they would try to start the cycle all over again, on a universal scale. For all the training and missions she'd done, Sabine felt woefully underprepared to face the Augments and she was still full of self-doubt over what effect Khan's blood might have on her in the long term.

Yet again, she was in Khan's quarters. Since he'd injected her, she'd found it almost impossible to continue acting like she wanted anything to do with him. If trying to gain his trust had been hard before, now it felt like trying to carve Michelangelo's David out of marble using a toothpick. Maybe that was why he'd done it. Maybe he'd known she wouldn't be able to fake her emotions once his blood was running through her veins. To keep from completely betraying her own efforts, she remained silent as he regaled her with tales of his exploits on Earth, with his plans for universal domination. She came close to biting a hole clean through her tongue in an effort to keep from rolling her eyes.

"You seem distracted," he commented, watching her swallow the mixture of blood and spit in her mouth. Khan was annoyed that she had somehow managed to protect her mind from him. Despite his blood in her veins, he could not access her mind. Her defenses were different than what he'd seen in Aubrey and even in her, before the injection. These had a certain alien-ness to them and he wondered just where she'd learned to make such a strong mental wall.

"Distraction is to be expected when I have not slept more than a handful of minutes at a time and am tired and hungry," she snapped.

Behind them, as always, Aubrey stared off into the distance, eyes never focused on anything in particular. It was just the three of them. Khan's lackey had left to attend to some skirmish somewhere on the ship.

"Perhaps I can help you with your foul mood," he replied, producing a hypo from his pants pocket. The trainer was on a table near him. Sabine backed away.

"No," she said emphatically, raising her voice. "You will not inject me again."

"I'll remind you that you're not the one giving orders around here," he said as he advanced on her.

She might not be but she'd be damned if she'd let him inject her again. Almost on instinct, she reached her hand out in front of her and snapped the hypo in his hand into pieces with her telekinesis. Still fearing him, she slammed his body against the dresser behind him and he crumpled on the ground. But before she could run, she was tackled from behind. Aubrey took her to the ground and Sabine quickly determined something wasn't right. Aubrey wasn't this strong. She couldn't move under the other woman and Aubrey's grip on her was as tight as any Augment's.

"Let go of me," she ordered the other woman. "Aubrey, you do not want to do this. Resist it."

Aubrey looked at her, really looked at her and Sabine felt a chill. It wasn't Aubrey behind those eyes.

"How?" she asked. "How are you inside her? I just knocked you unconscious."

"No, you didn't," Aubrey said with a leer. "I can use either body as I choose."

Sabine stopped struggling as she realized just how thoroughly Khan had overtaken Aubrey.

"You are a monster," she told the man behind Aubrey's eyes. Her words must have struck a nerve because she/he got up, yanking Sabine up as well and threw her against the far wall of the quarters. Sabine heard the crack as her arm hit the wall but she didn't feel the pain until she'd been lying on the ground for a few minutes. When she finally registered the sensation, it was like white hot pokers up and down her entire arm. She looked at it, the angle of her hand. There was no doubt in her mind – the arm was broken.

Aubrey/Khan dragged her up from the ground, pulling on her hurt arm, ignoring her cries and whimpers, and pushed her over to the table with the trainer.

"You've been disobedient today," she/he sneered at Sabine. "You know what your punishment is."

For the first time, Sabine welcomed the taps against her ear. She wanted to be unconscious. And soon enough, she was.

When she awoke in her cell, the arm was still broken, bent at an unnatural angle. She tore strips from her dress to tie around it, hoping to help it set correctly, trying not to pass out from the pain of moving it into a more natural position. She knew she'd done a horrible job of setting it but she was just happy she hadn't passed out again from the pain. The Augments left it like that until she was taken to med bay once more. She held her breath, not knowing what they would ask of her this time. But no one was there besides McCoy. They ordered him to fix her arm and he grumbled over how long it had been left to set, grumbled over being forced to help someone who had chosen to align herself with the Augments. His words were harsh but his touch told her everything she needed to know.

When McCoy was done treating Sabine, two Augments came in to take him back to his cell. Sabine turned to the Augment who had brought her to med bay, expecting to be returned to her own room. But he just looked at her in derision.

"You stay here," he scoffed.

McCoy didn't miss the worried look Sabine gave him as they shoved him out of med bay but they both knew there was nothing to be done.

"Get on the biobed," her escort ordered. Sabine did so warily.

"What are you doing?" she asked but she received a shove that left her flat against the bed and then she felt cold metal cover both wrists and ankles. They had restrained her. Sabine bit back the rising panic within her. They were doing this on purpose, she told herself. Khan knew, from invading her mind after injecting her, how much she hated being in restraints – he'd seen all her darkest fears and memories, feasting on her misery like the parasite he was.

Still, she couldn't keep from fighting against the metal restraints on her wrists and ankles when she saw an Augment approach her with a hypospray. Maybe it wasn't Khan's augmented blood…but she knew it was. She could practically feel the negativity radiating out of the hypo.

"The last dosage wasn't quite right. This should work better," the Augment said with a nasty smile as he shoved the hypo against her neck and injected it. It didn't hit her as hard as the first time but Sabine felt the anger build inside her. They left her confined to the biobed and she closed her eyes, reaching out to McCoy.

They have injected me again. 

_Darlin'. I'm here. You're okay. Just breathe._

I do not think I can keep fighting this off. It is so hard. 

_I'm not giving up on you. Spock and I – we'll do whatever we can to help you._

She was grateful for his presence, glad to know Mirror Spock was there to assist as well, but Sabine felt broken, too tired to resist the rage racing through her veins. She estimated they left her alone on the biobed for an hour. She tried to break the restraints on her wrists – managed to break the one on her left wrist, using her telekinesis, but her powers had been so depleted, she didn't have it in her to break any of the other restraints. When the Augments returned, still without Khan, they grinned at her attempt to break free and released her. She waited for just one of them to attempt smacking her because if they did, she couldn't be held accountable for her reaction. But they seemed to give her a wide berth, perhaps afraid of the blood now coursing through her.

"We have a project for you," one of the Augments told her.

"I will do nothing for you," she snarled, channeling the rage into her voice.

"You will or we will kill you and your crew mate," the Augment said simply.

"What do you want me to do?" Sabine finally asked in reply, willing herself, with the help of both McCoy and Mirror Spock, to keep from attempting to shatter the skulls of the three Augments in front of her. If she had her full powers, it would be so easy. Just a flick of her fingers. But now, she couldn't break out of a biobed – what made her think she could kill three superhumans? Beyond that, she was not a killer. She would not let them turn her into one – not when it would lead to her own inevitable death as well as McCoy's. She would protect him with everything that was still her inside, no matter how much she wanted to do otherwise.

A man was brought into the lab and forced to his knees by another Augment. Dressed in civvies with a white lab coat, Sabine suspected he was yet another one of the scientists from the base.

"Kill him," one of the Augments near her purred.

"How?" she asked, doing what she could to buy time.

"Don't play dumb. We know what you're capable of," came the reply from another one of the Augments.

"My powers have been depleted," she answered. "I barely had enough strength to get one restraint off."

"Then kill him with your bare hands," an Augment sneered.

I cannot do this. I cannot kill an innocent. 

_I can._

The voice that replied to Sabine was not McCoy's. It was Mirror Spock.

Why? Why would you do this? 

_Logic dictates that we kill this man to keep ourselves alive and able to escape._

Sabine wrestled with the conflicting emotions inside her. She wanted to kill. Even if it were Mirror Spock taking over her mind, it would still be by her hands. But even if she would take pleasure in the death as long as Khan's blood was fresh and racing through her, how would she live with her decision afterwards, when the effects of the blood had dissipated?

Leo, what should I do? 

She could feel his disapproval of taking another's life, especially an innocent. But his response surprised her.

_Do what you think is best. As far as I can see, there isn't an option that won't lead to someone dying. I can't make this decision for you but whatever you decide, I'll be by your side to help you through it._

He could feel the war within her. He knew she was in an unenviable position and he would love her, support her whatever she did. And if killing this man meant they might survive….

"Well? We don't have all day," one of the Augments snipped.

Sabine made up her mind and let Mirror Spock take over her.

It was over in an instant but she knew it would haunt her the rest of her life.

* * *

McCoy was tossed back into the "cell" he shared with Spock. The two men discussed what McCoy had just done and continued to go around in circles on how to escape. McCoy restlessly paced the room, nervous because his connection to Sabine was weak, as it had been since they'd arrived on the Reliant. He knew that was her doing. She was protecting them. But he was worried for her and it bothered him that he didn't know what to do to monitor her.

As if thinking about her had summoned her, McCoy felt Sabine in his head again. She wasn't screaming this time but he felt the rage pulsing through her.

"Spock," he said quietly and the other man came to crouch before him. McCoy nodded at him and Mirror Spock aligned his hands on the psi points of McCoy's face, entering his mind. Both men could hear and see what she was experiencing, could feel her struggle against the injection.

They had to get off the ship. Somehow, they had to get down to the station below them. The station was huge in comparison to the Reliant so even if there were Augments on the station, they still had a better chance of hiding there till the Enterprise finally arrived. And McCoy hoped like hell Jim had figured out where they were. Mirror Spock assured him that even if his Enterprise wasn't on its way, the ISS Enterprise was not far and he would offer McCoy and Sabine safe passage on the ship until they could get back to theirs. But McCoy remembered what it was like on the Mirror Enterprise and he didn't relish that option. Round and round the two men debated, for what felt like hours. Once more, they were at an impasse in terms of a plan to get off the Reliant. Increasingly, McCoy didn't care about a plan. He wanted action. He advocated for attacking the next Augments to come to their cell while Mirror Spock thought such an idea was illogical and bound to fail. McCoy needed the damn Vulcan to understand that time was running out.

"They broke her arm and left it like that for at least five hours. They're gonna kill her if we don't get out of here," McCoy told his cellmate.

"An illogical assumption, Doctor. The fact that they have not killed her yet leads me to believe they desire her for a distinct purpose that has yet to be accomplished. While I agree that escape would be advantageous, we cannot do so haphazardly, just because you are worried about your consort."

"She's not my consort, you hobgoblin," McCoy muttered. "You make it sound like a business arrangement."

"A love match, then? Curious. Those are uncommon in my universe. We pair off to gain power or protection. Our customs differ in that regard," Spock noted by way of apology.

"Customs? Since when is falling in love a custom?" McCoy grumbled.

"It is a luxury your universe allows you," the Vulcan noted dryly.

McCoy remained silent for a moment, pondering a place where love was seen as an extravagance. But soon his mind was back on Sabine and the fatigue he had felt coming off of her as he'd fixed her arm. They had given him no anesthesia or sedatives to provide her so she'd had to sit through the pain of the bone knitter fully conscious. She'd made no sounds, given little indication of the pain and he knew it wasn't necessarily that she didn't want her captors to know she could feel pain, but a feeling of having given up. McCoy was worried about her. He suspected she was close to a breaking point and if they continued to torment her, she would cave in. He didn't think she'd flip – he thought she'd let them kill her.

Sabine's adrenaline spiked and both McCoy and Spock felt it, their own conversations and actions falling to the wayside as they focused on what was causing her increased heart rate. McCoy did what he could to soothe her while Spock focused on what they were demanding of her. This was the moment McCoy and Sabine had dreaded. She was being ordered to kill an innocent.

Mirror Spock knew what he had to do. He could help her by doing what came naturally to him after a lifetime in his own universe. She gave him control and Mirror Spock snapped the scientist's neck without a thought.

Afterward, he felt McCoy's anger at him. In a conversation between the two men, one Sabine couldn't hear, McCoy let Spock have it.

_She'll never forget that. How could you?_

Doctor, even you told her you did not see an option that would allow everyone to live. 

_That didn't mean I wanted you – her – to snap a man's neck._

Would you like me to erase it from her mind? 

McCoy considered it.

_Not without asking her first. Anything you do inside our minds, you must get consent for first._

Understood. 

And so Spock asked Sabine if she wanted the memory erased.

_I do. But I do not know if I will let you do it. His blood is taking over me and I fear I wil resist your efforts to erase the memory._

He could feel how little of her was in control – so much of her had given into the aggression and anger roaring through her veins. But Mirror Spock worked to erase the memory, fighting against her baser impulses to access her mind. McCoy did what he could to help, the lifebond between the doctors being the only thing that allowed Spock to access her mind. In the end, she was too much for Mirror Spock. He withdrew from her mind and Sabine begged McCoy to do likewise, not wanting him to see her like this, not wanting them to get caught. He grudgingly acquiesced.

"I am sorry I failed in my efforts," Spock said in an impassive voice that McCoy read as extreme Vulcan exhaustion. He'd seen his own Spock like this on rare occasions.

"You did what you could," McCoy answered.

"Perhaps later, as the blood works its way through her system and she calms, I can try again," Spock replied.

McCoy looked at the other man. "Thank you, Spock. I mean it. Whatever happens, we'll do what we can to get you back to your ship." He meant it. McCoy never thought he'd be sharing a cell with the same man who had violated his mind all those away missions ago but here they were and it was equally surprising to realize Mirror Spock was someone he could see in their own universe.

The Vulcan nodded at him. Sensing McCoy's strong emotions, he raised an eyebrow. "Lest you think too much of me, Doctor, I will remind you it is logical that I do what I can for you and your colleague. Nothing more, nothing less."

Their conversation was interrupted by the opening of the room's doors. Both men inhaled sharply. It was never a good thing when the Augments came visiting.

* * *

Just outside of Khan's room, Sabine stopped short, causing his right hand man to stumble. He turned and smacked her for her carelessness but Sabine hardly felt the blow. She was focused instead on the pain she could feel from McCoy. They were torturing him. Why?

"Let's discuss your future," Khan said once he and Sabine were alone in the room. His voice was steely. Clearly, he had not forgotten their last encounter. He crossed to a table and picked up the trainer lying on it. Sabine felt a cold panic wrap around her heart. She hated that thing. Still, it was better than a hypo full of his blood.

"My future?" Sabine asked in return as he came up to her and wrapped his arm around her. She was still too caught up in the effects of the second injection to hide her distaste at his touch but he enjoyed seeing the face she made.

"I assume you do not wish to end up like your former lover, a shell of yourself, blindly cooperating with whatever command I give, do you?" Khan's grip around her tightened, grew painful.

"Of course not," Sabine answered, irritated.

Khan released her, his eyes focused on her own. "Aubrey struggled against us – tried to escape – and her punishment is that she will never be free again. But you? I have hope for you still."

"What do you want from me?" she demanded angrily and he practically purred, dipping his head towards hers, his breath ghosting over her. Sabine fought to keep herself relaxed, to resist pushing him away.

"Your unswerving loyalty," he replied. He spoke as he brushed his face against her neck. Everything in her wanted to mutilate him – he didn't deserve death. She'd rather torture him, just as he had tortured her. Visions of what she wanted to do danced in her head.

"I just killed a man and still you are not convinced of my loyalty?" she spat at him, wondering when she would lose what little control she had left – partially looking forward to the moment when the dam would break and she would give into the base desires he'd filled her with. He deserved agony at her hand for what he'd done. Still, she held back and it was a visible struggle. He watched as her fists clenched and unclenched, as her jaw locked, as her muscled tensed only to relax, then tense again. It pleased him to watch her struggle even as it annoyed him to see her resist the gift of rage and aggression he'd given her.

"I will make you obey me or I will kill you," he menaced. "Did you think a few theatrics would be enough, my dear? Especially when you undermined me, thinking I wouldn't notice?" His arm snaked around her like an iron bar and he tapped the back of her ear with the trainer he held in his free hand. Sabine cried out as she lost her ability to stand. The only thing keeping her on her feet was his arm around her waist.

"Did you think I didn't see how that larvae stopped moving as you dropped it in that man's ear?" he hissed in a quiet rage, tapping her behind the ear once more. "Did you think I did not see you disable that tracker before you injected it?" Another tap. "Do you think I'm unaware…," Sabine felt unconsciousness coming for her again, the black at the edge of her eyes starting to move inward rapidly and Khan's words became nothing more than a buzz and then there was blissful darkness.

* * *

Sabine awoke later, though how much later, she could only speculate. She was back in her room, and she was awake because that fucking asshole Augment who followed Khan's every order was kicking her again. She lashed out at him savagely, grabbing his leg and pulling him down to the ground. She climbed on him, holding him down.

"Stop kicking me. If you want to wake me up, you can do so in a different manner," she seethed. He grinned and quickly threw her off of him, standing with a speed that was truly unnatural. With one foot against her back, he kicked her hard again.

"I'll wake you up however I choose and you'll thank me for keeping you alive," Khan's lackey replied, enjoying his strength.

Sabine remained still until he grew bored at her lack of reaction. He pulled her up roughly.

"Come with me," he goaded her, as though she had a choice when he had her in a vice-like grip. "You have one more chance to prove your loyalty to our master."

"And what happens if I fail?"

"I will have the pleasure of watching the life drain out of you," he replied, almost gleeful. It was clear he hoped and anticipated that she would not succeed.

They walked past med bay and Sabine began to wonder where they were going. But then, he pulled her roughly to the side and two doors slid open for them. What she saw in the room drew a gasp from her lips and her captor laughed.

On his knees, covered in what she hoped in vain was not his own blood, was McCoy. On either side of him, stood Augments, their phasers drawn and pointing at him. He had been beaten, his nose bloodied and possibly broken, bruises everywhere, and his lip busted. But it was the look in his eyes that tore her insides to pieces. He would forgive her, she knew it. If she killed him, he would understand they had left her no choice.

"You are very stupid people," Khan's right hand man taunted her. "Did you think we didn't know you had found a way to communicate with one another? He openly talked to his roommate about his feelings for you." The man's voice was full of contempt. He turned to Sabine.

"I don't care how you kill him but if you don't do it, we will." The Augments on either side of McCoy smiled, adjusting their grips on their phasers.

Deep inside her, a rage began to swell. Sabine could feel it, like electricity, spreading throughout her body. This wasn't just another rage triggered by Khan's blood, though Sabine was certain his blood helped. This was a fury built on harm being threatened to someone she loved. The way McCoy's shoulders slumped, accepting his fate, even while he attempted to give them all an angry glare fueled a fire in her. Before entering the room, she'd questioned whether she had enough power left to do much of anything. Khan had been merciless in his taps against her ear, sucking her abilities down day by day without giving her enough time to recover. But now, from a well she hadn't realized existed until that moment, Sabine drew on her powers, holding her hands out in front of her. The Augments watched with interest as her fingers and palms began to glow.

"You want a decision?" she asked them, feeling telekinetic energy in every vein, with every heartbeat. "You want me to take a side?" At that, the two Augments flanking McCoy looked at one another nervously. "I will take a side," she murmured, a roar in her ears. The lights in the room flickered and now, even her tormentor looked concerned.

At once, the lights exploded and McCoy ducked to the ground. Through arms crossed in front of his face, he watched as… was that lightening? ...struck the Augment who had brought Sabine in. He felt the bodies of his own captors fall on either side of him, a spray of a liquid he assumed was blood hitting his back. After a moment of eerie silence and darkness, the emergency lights came on, casting the room in a disconcerting red glow and Sabine rushed to his side, crouching down.

"Are you okay?" she asked him, her face filled with concern and love. Gone was any trace of the anger and hatred he'd seen in her just a moment ago. He wondered how much Khan's blood was still affecting her.

"I'm fine," he muttered. "Nothing worse than getting into a bar fight with Jim on any given night at the Academy." He let her touch him, as she brushed her hands softly over his wounds.

"Nonsense," she insisted. "They hurt you." He sat up and her hands were on his chest, checking his ribs. He inhaled sharply as she found a broken rib.

"We have to go," she whispered. "I cannot tend to you here."

"I know," he replied, getting up slowly. He looked at the bodies on the floor. Her captor had been burnt to a crisp. The ones on either side of him looked like their heads had exploded. There was a gray substance he very much suspected to be brain matter right by his boot.

"Goddamn, Sabine," he murmured, half in horror, half in appreciative awe. "Remind me to let you win the next time we fight."

For a split second, she looked like she might fall apart. He could feel the anguish inside her through their bond. He moved to her side and she regained control of her features, rearranging her face into a mask of determination.

"We will not live to have another fight if we do not get out of here," she replied simply, ignoring the mess she had made as she walked to the door. She stopped only to retrieve all the phasers and a communicator.

"Hey," McCoy called out, grabbing her arm. "You okay?"

"I cannot do this right now," she replied, her eyes imploring him. "We do not have time to stop and converse about my mental health. We must contact the Enterprise," she told him, handing him one of the phasers. "And we need to get off this ship."

He realized she had a point and the line of her mouth indicated that even if she didn't, she wasn't going to cooperate with any plan other than escaping.

"Darlin', before we do anything, we should grab Mirror Spock," McCoy told her firmly as they exited into the corridor. She looked at him in surprise.

"It will slow us down to go get him," she said simply and, in that moment, McCoy knew she was still wrestling with the effects of Khan's blood. Her empathy was apparently limited to him for the time being.

"Look, they want him so if he comes with us, it gives us at least a little leverage. Besides, he can help us."

"Okay," she said.

Sabine had expended much of her strength on killing the Augments and she wobbled, slumping against the side of the corridor, a thin trail of blood dripping out from her nose. McCoy grabbed her arm and put it around his shoulder. In that moment, she understood that she really had saved him; she had channeled the violence in her for a good reason. He was helping her and if they died, they were dying together. She opened the connection between them and he could feel her relief at his touch. He was safety and love and she craved both at the moment. McCoy kissed her forehead and looked into her eyes as he pushed as much love through the connection as he could.

"Come on," he said. "I know the way."

* * *

"This is an unexpected but welcome change of events," Mirror Spock noted as they freed him from the room he and McCoy had been sharing. Sabine handed him a phaser, avoiding his eyes. Seeing him didn't remind her of their own Spock – it reminded her of killing an innocent man.

"We need to move," she replied curtly, not wanting to remember the injections, Khan's invasions into her head, killing the scientist – any of it. She had regained the energy to stand without assistance on the way to their cell and was ready to repair the injuries McCoy had suffered.

"Can we access the dermal regenerator in med bay? A bone knitter?" she asked McCoy in annoyance as she surveyed both men and saw that the beatings had not been limited to her lover.

"They're locked in a closet," McCoy told her.

"Mmm, we need to get into that closet," she replied determinedly.

The three made their way to med bay, each of them awaiting some sign that they'd been discovered missing. But the ship remained silent, almost eerily so.

"Where is everyone?" McCoy grumbled as they walked into med bay to find it empty.

Spock surveyed the room briefly before answering.

"Our ships, as you know, are almost identical to yours. This appears to be a Miranda-class ship designed to carry 350 people. Even if all seventy Augments were on board, it would feel empty. And I doubt all of them are here," Mirror Spock posited as Sabine blasted the closet doors open with her phaser and grabbed the medical supplies she needed.

"Both of you. On the biobeds now," she commanded the men and they complied without comment. She moved quickly and though it wasn't her best work, both men were in much better shape when she was done. She stepped back and McCoy hopped down.

"Your turn," he murmured as he advanced on her.

"I do not think you can fix my problems," she replied softly.

"What? You think you don't have any bruises?" McCoy replied and she reluctantly got on the biobed. Spock turned away to give the doctors some privacy as McCoy moved the now-filthy and tattered remains of Sabine's Naralian dress around so that he could fix the physical wounds she'd received. She sat up when he was done and he held a finger up to indicate she shouldn't hop off the bed just yet. He went to the med bay closet and fished around for a moment before returning with a hypo.

"Can't do much about a lot of what he's done to you, but this will give you some needed strength," he whispered as he injected her. They shared a brief moment as she righted her head, her hand in his.

_It's gonna be okay. We'll find a way through this. I'm right here with you._

Thank you for believing in me despite everything. 

_Darlin', there's no one I believe in more than you._

Mirror Spock cleared his throat and Sabine let go of McCoy's hand.

"Where can we go so that I can comm Jim privately? I do not want the Augments to hear me if we can help it," she asked the men.

Mirror Spock considered her question.

"The best place to make a comm if you want to keep it secret would be engineering."

"Then that is where we are heading."

On their way, they encountered two more Augments and with the element of surprise on their side, they killed both without problem. McCoy couldn't help but keep count in his head. Five down – six, actually, if you counted the first guy they'd made Sabine kill in med bay, sixty-four to go.

In engineering, hiding behind one of the larger water cooling tanks, Sabine flipped open the communicator she had taken from her captor and adjusted the settings.

"Latour to Enterprise. Enterprise do you read me?"

Nothing but static in response and the three escaped prisoners heard voices drawing close to them.

"They've got to be around here somewhere."

"I want the woman."

"I don't care which one I kill."

At least three Augments looking for them. They all shared a worried look when a voice burst out of the comm.

"Sabs? Is that you? Is Bones with you?" Jim asked, a combination of relief and worry lacing his words.

The Augments heard him and ran towards them, weapons drawn.

"Well, shit," McCoy muttered.


	121. Chapter 121

They had made it through the wormholes. Jim glanced at the clock on his PADD. It had been almost three days since Bones and Latour had been intercepted. He'd done his best to keep from pestering Cass every few minutes but he wondered if they were okay. What had they gone through? Did they even know the Enterprise was on its way to save them? He'd never had the chance to tell Bones about the Romulan and Klingon technologies.

The three ships came to a stop just within the Beta Quadrant. It was time to switch to cloaking devices. They would be at Regula I within two hours.

Jim felt a nervous excitement thrumming through the ship and he wondered if the Klingons and Romulans felt the same thing on their ships. The Resurrection crew members were antsy – Jim could feel their eagerness to begin their part of the mission. He hoped they all made it back, though he didn't need Spock to tell him it was a statistical impossibility. Lives would be lost and he had to believe those lives would be worth the end result. He also needed to be ready to give them the best advantage he could. It was a strange position for Jim to be in, watching a mission from the sidelines, having to rely on others for success or failure. Cass watched her friend as he knit his brows together, staring vacantly out the view screen of the observation deck.

"You keep that up, and those baby blues of yours might just bore through all that metal and glass," she cracked.

Jim turned to her with a half smile.

"Shouldn't you be making sure no one's pointing their phasers in the wrong direction or splitting themselves into two separate people in the transporter?"

"They're time travelers, Jim. Not infants," Cass retorted.

"Are you just telling me that or do you need to hear it too?" he asked her with a wry smile.

"Touché," Cass replied.

The two friends stood side by side, looking out at the stars as they whizzed by. You couldn't see much at anything above Warp 8 but even if all they were seeing was the shifting of the warp bubble around them, it was still magnificent if you stood still and took it in.

Jim put his hand over Cass's and squeezed it gently.

"Are you ready for this?" he asked her, envious inside that she would be beaming down with the crews but also realizing she was doing it because her sister's life was at stake.

"As ready as I ever am," she replied, turning her palm up so she could squeeze his hand back. "I know how hard this is for you – letting everyone else get a piece of the action while you stay here and monitor."

"Yeah, well," he said with a self-deprecating smile. "It's the Enterprise. I'll get plenty of other adventures for myself. Can't hog them all."

"I'll find them," she promised him. "Bones, Sabs, Carol, your son, my sister. I'll find each and every one of them and get them back here if I have to die trying."

"Well, let's leave the death part out, okay?"

They hugged and Spock stepped onto the observation deck.

"Captain, we will be at our destination shortly."

"Okay, Mister Spock." Jim pulled away from Cass.

"So you and Bangs here, huh?" Cass asked with a nod to Spock. "I want to hear all about it when I get back." She gave both men a smile as she left the deck.

Spock waited till she was gone and raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the Captain.

"Bangs?" he asked.

"Trust me, it could be worse," Jim said with a wry smile. "Come on, let's get to the bridge."

* * *

"Captain, Commander Charvanek is requesting a private comm with you," Uhura told Jim as he entered the bridge. He gave her a questioning look and she shrugged her shoulders. Spock approached him.

"You know what this is about?" Jim asked him.

"I do not," the Vulcan replied. "I confess it troubles me."

"Uhura, send it to my ready room," Jim directed his communications officer.

"Proceed with caution," Spock told him as he moved to the ready room.

"Don't I always?" he shot back with a smile that did something to Spock's stomach and left the tips of his ears tinged a slight greenish color.

"Commander, to what do I owe this impromptu meeting?" Jim looked at the Romulan over the holovid screen. She was, as always, immaculate but she looked uncomfortable.

"Captain Kirk," she began, then stopped, as if unsure how to proceed. Jim felt uneasy watching the normally confident leader falter. She squared her shoulders and looked him in the eye.

"I was ordered by my superiors to assist in this mission…and when it was over, to destroy your ship."

She watched him absorb her confession.

"Well, that really puts a damper on our relationship," Jim replied. "Why are you telling me this, Commander Charvanek?"

"I asked myself the same thing when I commed your ship," she replied. "I cannot follow through with my orders. Theo and Oliver would never forgive me and though we have only known one another for a brief time, you have won my trust and respect."

"And?" Jim asked. "Don't tell me you've suddenly gone soft, Commander."

She gave him a hard look and then sighed.

"I have reason to believe Captain Toq was correct in his suspicions regarding the theft of the Klingon transport interceptor."

Jim wrinkled his brow. "You mean…"

"Romulans did steal the interceptor. Romulans working with Khan and his followers. But then Khan…"

"Turned on them? Stole their own invention, fled, and took the interceptor with him?"

Charvanek nodded.

"Yeah, that sounds like Khan," Jim said grimly.

"If I told you all the truth, Toq would never have agreed to work together," Charvanek said apologetically.

"I understand," Jim replied. And he did. But he had some concerns.

Jim gave the Romulan a long look. "So what are you gonna do?"

"I can always tell my superiors that you slipped away. You are Jim Kirk, after all. I wouldn't be the first to fail in an effort to destroy your ship."

He saw the hesitancy in her eyes.

"But you aren't sure they're gonna buy it," he said quietly. She gave him a shaky smile.

"When this is over, if we all survive," she replied, "It is entirely possible I will be seeking asylum with the Federation."

"And you'd like me to put in a good word for you?" Jim asked her, with a broad smile.

"If it wouldn't be too much trouble," she responded, matching his grin.

"I'll do what I can to help you, Commander."

"And you'll keep this between us?"

"Your secret is safe with me," Jim replied.

They ended the comm and Jim returned to the bridge. Spock gave him an eyebrow and he shook his head. He'd tell his first officer about everything if they made it through this mission. Not if, but when, he reminded himself. When they made it through.

* * *

"Talk to me, Carol," Jim said over the comm Uhura had established with the doctor.

"Jim! Tell me you're here!" Carol replied.

"Soon," he answered. "We should be there in a few minutes. We're cloaked though. You won't see us."

"Which means they won't see you," she said appreciatively.

"What's happened since the last time we talked? What did you want to tell me before?" Jim asked. They had spoken right after the ships had made it through the wormholes but Carol had cut the comm short, fearful of being caught with a communicator in her possession.

"Things are much as they were before. We believe there are approximately 35 Augments down here on the station. The Gateway is still open. I cannot tell you if anyone has gone in or out of it."

"Okay," Jim replied, nodding. All of this was in line with what they had expected. It was why they had decided to send 30 of the Resurrection crew to the station and 30, plus Cass, to the Reliant.

"There's more," Carol said, lowering her voice to whisper. "What I wanted to tell you before…"

"What?" Jim asked.

"Several people have been taken to the ship. Two came back but the third…we don't know what happened to him. But Jim. The ones who came back – they said a Starfleet doctor was being held by the Augments – his description matches Doctor McCoy. And there is a woman – she seems to be following the orders of the Augments, but not really. She ensured that the first two people made it back here safely. I think she may be your other crew member."

"So they're alive," Jim said, relief filling every pore of his body.

"It would seem that way," Carol replied.

"Alright, Carol. Have your people ready to go. We're sending a crew to the station. They'll be in black tactical suits, okay? Tell everyone that we'll be beaming them aboard one of three ships – us, a Klingon Bird of Prey, or a Romulan Warbird."

"I've already told them. We're ready."

"Good. See you soon."

Jim ended the comm. They had done everything they could to prepare the scientists for the rescue mission. He had to hope it had been enough.

"Sir!" Uhura said with a note of excitement in her voice. "We're receiving a communication from the Reliant. It's Doctor Latour!"

"Put it on the comms, Lieutenant," Jim ordered, trying to keep the exhilaration out of his voice.

It was staticky and hard to make out, but Jim could hear a woman's voice calling out to the Enterprise.

"…to Enterprise. … do… read me?"

Jim turned to Uhura. "You're sure it's her?"

"Yes sir, positive," Uhura replied with wide eyes.

"Sabs? Is that you? Is Bones with you?" Jim asked over the comm system.

There was no response for a minute, just heavy static. Finally, a familiar voice burst through the system.

"Yes! Jim, it's us. Can you lock onto us and get us the hell out of here?" McCoy asked. Sounds in the background indicated a firefight.

"Spock has been hit," Jim could hear Sabine say. He looked over at Spock in confusion.

"Wait, what did she just say?" he asked into the comm.

"Long story," McCoy grumbled. "Look, I need you to beam me up," there was a sound, like McCoy was covering the comm and Jim could barely make out what sounded like an agitated conversation between McCoy and Latour. "Jim, lock onto my coordinates and beam me up. I'll have Mirror Spock with me."

"Wait, what?" Jim asked.

"I don't have time to explain. He's gonna die if you don't get us out of here now."

"What about Latour?"

"She says she's gonna stay," McCoy growled.

"We're sending her reinforcements right now," Jim replied. "Cass is coming down with some folks." Jim paused and hit the button for the transporter room. "Scotty, can you lock onto the coordinates of the comm we're on currently?"

"Aye Captain."

"Beam up Bones. And he's got a guest with him."

"Aye."

Jim ended the comm and turned to Spock. "You have the conn, unless you want to come with me and meet your doppelganger?"

Spock stood up and crossed the bridge to stand by Jim.

"Okay, Sulu, you have the conn."

Jim and Spock made their way to the transporter room. It was chaos as group after group of Resurrection crew members beamed over to the Reliant. Cass had gone down with the first group, asking Scotty to send them to the same location he had beamed McCoy up from. She wanted to find Sabine quickly. Bones was clutching Mirror Spock to him, the other man's arm thrown around his shoulder.

"How much of that is yours?" Jim asked McCoy as he looked at the blood covering the doctor's uniform and hands.

"Don't worry about it," McCoy grumbled. "I'm fine."

"Captain," Mirror Spock said weakly, faintly nodding to Jim.

"Captain," Jim replied, seeing the gold shirt Mirror Spock was now wearing.

"Jim, I gotta get him to sick bay," McCoy interrupted. "M'Benga might be his only hope."

The men moved out of the transporter room, towards sick bay, Spock calling ahead to alert M'Benga.

Mirror Spock had taken a phaser to the gut, stepping in front of Sabine and McCoy to give them a chance to answer the comm as the Augments had surrounded them on three sides.

Once in med bay, McCoy got Mirror Spock to a biobed and M'Benga took over. Jim and Spock turned to McCoy.

"Jim, what the hell happened? How'd they get us? How'd you find us so fast?"

"You guys okay?" Jim asked at the same time. "Did they hurt you?"

"If I might make a suggestion," Spock said after the questions had been asked, "We are short on time. The answers you each seek could be quickly provided via a telepathic connection."

Jim was surprised to see McCoy acquiesce without so much as a sigh of disapproval. Through Spock, the three men formed a connection and the information each side sought was disseminated.

"So that's how they did it," McCoy murmured after the connection was severed.

"And they've already gone through the Gateway at least once to grab Mirror Spock," Jim muttered.

"You two get back to the bridge," McCoy told Jim, his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "I'll join you when M'Benga gets out of surgery."

Jim nodded and left with Spock to return to the bridge. In the turbolift, Spock turned to him.

"You are upset," he stated.

"Can't imagine why," Jim replied. "Things went so well the last time we dealt with Khan."

"You fear the loss will be greater this time," Spock ascertained.

"I died last time, Spock. You do remember that, right?"

"How could I ever forget, Jim?"

"Then why aren't you freaked out? How are you so calm? You saw what they went through on that ship. He's a monster." Jim stared at Spock with a wild desperation in his eyes.

"I keep my emotions inside. It does not mean they are not there," Spock replied. He placed his hands on Jim's shoulders.

"We overcame him once," he said, staring deeply into the captain's eyes. "We can do it again. We will do it again because there is no other acceptable option."

Spock felt Jim's shoulders relax under his hands. He continued to hold the other man's gaze in his own, watching as Jim's expression changed, as he regained a sense of confidence.

"You're right, Spock."

"I will spare you the statistics on how often I am right," Spock replied with the tiniest of grins.

* * *

Sabine was in pain. Part of it was probably the red wound on her right arm. She'd been burned by a phaser hit that had just grazed her as McCoy and Mirror Spock had transported out of the ship and while she knew she should be grateful for the near-miss, it didn't stop her entire arm from feeling like it was on fire. But there was more to it than that. Mirror Spock had understood. He'd looked at her just before beaming up and told her to compartmentalize the things tearing her up inside. He'd been weak but still he tried to meld with her, to help her forget what she'd experienced. It hadn't completely worked but she felt like there was a distance now between her and the last three days. A needed distance. If she was going to stay on this ship and fight, she couldn't think about what had been done, what she had done.

McCoy hadn't wanted to leave her but she wasn't sure she should be allowed on the Enterprise yet. She wasn't sure he'd understood why she was so wary. Sabine knew she probably should have allowed him to see her memories of her conversations with Khan so he would know why she was so scared of being used by the Augment but there hadn't been time. Instead, he'd taken her word for it, based on the turmoil he could feel swirling around in her, and just before he'd beamed out, he'd grabbed her by the waist with the arm not supporting Mirror Spock and kissed her, whispering insistently, "Promise me you'll come back to me. Promise!"

"I promise," she'd replied, thinking that of all the vows she'd ever made, this one was the most important. Whatever happened, she had to make it back to him. McCoy might be the only one who could undo what Khan had done to her. In the meantime, who knew what Khan might attempt and what kind of control he still had over her? So here she was, hiding from three Augments who wanted her blood, trying to resist her own desire to kill for the sake of killing.

She stopped moving for a moment to listen for any movements around her. To keep the Augments hot in pursuit from finding her, she ran away from the spot where McCoy and Mirror Spock had left, drawing them to the other side of the engineering complex. She knew the Augments were close and she listened intently for any indication of how near they were to finding her.

But instead of quiet respiration, what Sabine heard was the sound of someone transporting. Suddenly, she could hear, and feel, several familiar telepathic signals, none stronger than Cass's, but none more surprising to her than Dinesh's. Was this real? Had she died at some point? How was she feeling Dinesh after all these years? She peeked out from her spot behind a turbine. Sure enough, there was Cass, surrounded by faces Sabine hadn't seen since jumping forward to Iowa. She stood up shakily.

"Cass," she hissed, knowing the Augments would have also heard the transporter sounds.

"Sabs," Cass replied, running over to her and crouching down as Sabine sunk back down to the floor. She gave Sabine a critical once-over.

"You look like shit," she said bluntly, grabbing a dermal regenerator from the belt at her hip, upon which she had almost every conceivable tool and weapon attached. Sabine smiled. It was good to see the other telepath again. To know there were more of them here now. While Cass tended to Sabine's arm, the others fanned out and phaser fire began to be exchanged as the Augments made their presence known. When she was done with Sabine's arm, Cass inserted a tracker in her other arm and then placed a small, round communicator piece behind Sabine's ear.

"We gotta get you changed but for now, tell us what you know," she whispered, nodding to the device she had just given Sabine.

"There are three of them down here right now. Even with our phasers set to kill, it will take multiple blasts to take one down," Sabine said quietly. Another exchange of fire and a couple of grunts were heard and then a voice came over the communicator.

"Now there are only two," Roz replied. "Good to hear your voice again, Sabs!"

"Good to hear you too, Roz," Sabine said quietly, before grabbing her phaser and aiming it at the Augment directly in front of her. His back was to her and she shot him twice before he had a chance to turn around and take aim at the two women. It had been an undeniably lucky couple of shots. "Now we are down to one," Sabine said.

Cass took a moment to hand Sabine a change of clothes – a tactical suit like the ones the rest of them had on. After Sabine had changed, Cass connected with her to bring her up to speed on everything that had happened while she was gone. She also wanted to read Sabine and find out what had happened on the Reliant.

_Hey, I can't read you. When did you learn to make Vulcan mind walls?_

It is a long story. I would rather you did not read me right now. No good can come of it.

Sabine could feel the other telepath's concern but she wasn't ready to discuss it. She didn't want to relive it – wanted nothing more than to forget everything about the last three days. Cass respected Sabine's wishes but there was still something she needed to know.

_Have you seen Aubrey?_

Sabine knew the question was coming but it didn't stop her throat from tightening, her eyes from watering, or her fists from clenching. Didn't make it easier for her to answer.

Cass, it is bad. I have never seen a mind so fractured. She did not recognize me.

_I don't care. We'll figure out how to fix her mind once we get her off this ship. The important thing is she's alive._

Yes, I know. I am glad she is alive. But he is tied to her through blood. Cass…I do not know if we can save her.

_Hell, I will kill every last motherfucker on this ship if I have to – Aubrey is coming with us and we'll figure out a way to help her._

Another burst of fire but this time, it was one of their own who wound up on the wrong side of the phaser.

The Augment was quickly cornered and shot by three of the Resurrection crew.

"Okay, guys. Let's keep going," Cass urged. "We take this ship deck by deck till they're all gone."

As they moved through the empty corridors of the deck just above engineering, Cass and Sabine continued to catch up.

You need to be ready for what has happened to her. Khan and his followers have done unspeakable things to her.

_Sabs, I know you're trying to prepare me for the worst, but knock it off with the doomsday proclamations, okay? We just need to find her and get her back to the Enterprise._

It will not be that simple. He has been injecting her with his blood and is using her almost as a second body for himself. I do not know how much of her is left inside her mind.

_How is his blood letting him use her abilities?_

The trainers. He has them altered to tap into a person and then give that person's abilities to him via the blood connection. He can then use them as his own. And he has altered his blood as well too. He has increased the markers for aggression and anger.

_How did you learn all this? Did he do it to you?_

Yes.

Cass stopped short and looked at Sabine, causing the other telepath to stop as well and grudgingly make eye contact. Cass could feel the anger, pain, and fear radiating off of her, the bands of blue and black thick and pulsating. But it was in Sabine's eyes that Cass saw what worried her most. The despair in those green eyes hurt to look at.

_What did he do to you?_

Sabine just shook her head. She wasn't going to talk about it. If she did, she would never pull herself together enough to fight. But she would use her emotions to fuel Cass forward.

Just know that whatever I have undergone, it was nothing compared to what Aubrey experienced.

Her words did the trick - they infuriated Cass. She would kill the man who had hurt her sister and her friend.

Quietly, Cass explained over the comm to the four other telepaths with them on the Reliant to be cautious regarding Khan's abilities to steal telepathic abilities. Besides Cass's occasional word of advice, the communicators behind their ears remained quiet, save for someone notifying the rest of the group if an Augment had been killed, if one of their team had fallen, or if a deck had been cleared. Despite the tension, Sabine couldn't help but feel a warmth in her as she listened to voices she had been sure she would never hear again. They were all reunited, if only for a short time, doing the work they'd been trained to do their entire lives.

Sabine didn't have much time to be sentimental. Two decks up from Engineering, the group she was with ran into four Augments and a fierce firefight ensued. The Augments were taken down but not without two more deaths among the Resurrection crew and a slew of burns to several other crew members. They regrouped to heal wounds and plan their next attack. Cass estimated there were at least 10, maybe 13 Augments left on the Reliant. Based on where the other groups were on the ship, Cass decided to take her group to the bridge because they had felt the ship detach from the station and move into orbit. Figuring there would be several Augments on the bridge, manning the controls, Cass decided it was their best chance to take over the ship for themselves.

Upon reaching the bridge, the group found the doors had been reprogrammed, locked against any codes they knew. Sabine and Cass looked at each other. They could feel the signal. Beyond those doors, they knew they would find Aubrey.

"Mister Scott," Cass whispered into her communicator. "We need your help."

"Ach, you and everyone else, lass," came the response. "I cannae split myself into eight different people, ya know."

"Scotty, we need onto the bridge of the Reliant. The door codes have been reprogrammed. How do we override them?"

The Scotsman replied with a curse. "Hang tight, lassie. It willna be easy."

"It never is," Cass sighed as they heard footsteps approaching them from the corridor and the various members of the group grabbed their weapons.

* * *

Jim watched the clear screen behind the captain's chair, worry etched into his features, as the Resurrection crews progressed through the Reliant and the space station. They were taking losses in both locations, but they were also incurring more losses for the Augments. Which, from a purely logistical standpoint, was a success. But every time he saw a Resurrection crew member's light go out on the screen, he mourned silently.

Leaving the screen, Jim stood at the front of the bridge and stared at Regula I through the viewscreen as though he could propel the Resurrection crews onward to success with just his gaze. Regula I had been the prototype for Yorktown Starbase. Thought it was far smaller than Yorktown, the science base was spherical. If Jim had to guess, he'd say it was the size of a small moon. Much of it was dedicated to scientific experiments, with large swaths of rock, ready to be terraformed into whatever the scientists needed for their lab work. A small part of the base constituted the living area for the scientists. The space dock, from where Jim could see the Reliant hovering nearby, was external, rather than the internal docks of Yorktown. To get the scientists out of the base safely, they would either use the transporter stations on the base or bring them to the entrance to the space dock and use the ship transporters to beam them up. Either way, Jim wanted to get the process done before the Reliant had a chance to fire on them. Just beyond the station lay the open portal into the mirrorverse.

"Captain," Sulu said in alarm. "There's activity at the Gateway."

"Put it on the view screen," Jim ordered, taking his seat.

They all watched as a ship crossed through the Gateway. A very familiar looking ship indeed.

It was the ISS Enterprise.

"Captain, we're being hailed," Uhura said and the confusion in her voice caused Jim to spin around in his chair and look at her.

"By whom?" he asked. If Spock was now the captain of the ISS Enterprise, who was the First Officer?

"By…me."


	122. Chapter 122

Jim turned his chair back around to face the view screen.

"Put her on, Lieutenant," he commanded Uhura.

"Yes, sir," she replied, still coming to grips with hearing herself over the comms. But hearing herself paled in comparison to seeing herself…or another version of herself…on the view screen. She once again said a silent thank you that Starfleet hadn't opted for the midriff-baring uniform favored by the Terran Empire. Her doppelganger wasted no time getting to her point.

"Captain Kirk, where is Captain Spock?" She looked over to Spock briefly before returning a hardened gaze to Jim.

"Commander Uhura," Jim replied with a nod to the view screen. "He's here, on our ship. We just beamed him over from the Reliant."

"You may beam him to my ship," Mirror Uhura replied crisply.

Jim looked over to Spock as he pressed the comm button for med bay so that McCoy could hear and see the conversation. "It may not be that easy, Commander."

"And why not?"

"He's in surgery right now. He took a hit from a phaser just before we got him out."

Her eyes narrowed. "We do not wish to have any part of this skirmish, Captain."

"Understood, Commander. It was never our desire to involve you."

"But it was your scientists who created this portal between our universes," Mirror Uhura countered. Jim couldn't refute her words so she continued.

"We are opposed to any interactions between our universes, Captain. Thus far, every interaction with you has led to poor consequences on our end."

Jim gave her a look.

"Seems to me our first meeting didn't go so badly for you. You are second in command now, right?"

"Do you know what kind of chaos this ship descended into once Spock decided to take your words seriously?" she asked him, her eyes flashing. "It's all well and good for him to have lofty ideas about bettering the Empire but the reality is we lost several competent and valued crew members for a cause that will surely fail." Mirror Uhura seemed a bit surprised by her own words as she stopped speaking.

"I want this portal destroyed, Captain Kirk. You will return my captain to me and allow us to fire on the station. We will return to our own universe and this will be the last time we meet," Mirror Uhura ordered Jim, her words clipped.

"Spock's just getting out of surgery," McCoy informed them over the comm. "He'll need time to wake up."

"And we're in the middle of a rescue operation on the base so I can't let you fire on it," Jim added. "Not until we get everyone safely evacuated."

"Captain, a word?" Spock asked Jim as he approached the chair.

"Commander, if you could give us a moment?" Jim asked the woman on the view screen. She nodded at him and Uhura muted the comms.

"You are not seriously considering allowing them to destroy the science station, are you?"

"Frankly, Spock, I'm inclined to agree with her. I'm not so sure poking around in other universes, especially the Mirrorverse, is in our best interest. And honestly, if it helps us get rid of some Augments, she can blow up the station."

"You realize you will have to answer to more than just the Federation for its destruction?"

"Spock, if we don't reach some kind of agreement with the ISS Enterprise, they'll shoot us down the minute we, or the Klingons, or the Romulans, uncloak to transport evacuees from the base."

"Your logic is sound, Captain," came a familiar voice from the entrance to the bridge. Mirror Spock stood next to McCoy.

"That was a quick wake-up," Jim observed.

"He insisted on getting out of bed and coming here. Damn Vulcans," McCoy muttered.

The two Spocks took a moment to size one another up. Identical in every way, save the color of their uniform shirts, and a goatee on Mirror Spock, they finished their assessments of one another and simultaneously uttered, "Fascinating."

"Great. Now there's two of 'em. Every fucking thing on the ship is gonna be fascinating if this keeps up," McCoy grumbled.

Everyone ignored McCoy's grousing. Jim had some questions he wanted answered.

"Do you know why Khan kidnapped you?" he asked Mirror Spock. The man raised his eyebrow in response.

"He took me because I refused to agree to his terms," Mirror Spock replied blandly, as though it should have been obvious to everyone on the bridge.

"And just what were his terms?" Jim asked.

"He kindly offered to commandeer my ship so that he could take over the Terran Empire. He was quite unaware of my own sentiments regarding the Empire, as he attempted several times to tell me just how well his philosophy of human superiority meshed with the underpinnings of the Terran Empire."

"It would appear he chose the worst possible Terran Empire ship to overtake," Spock agreed.

"Quite," Mirror Spock replied.

"So you refused him and his retaliation was to bring you back to this universe," Jim mused.

"I cannot say for sure," Mirror Spock speculated, "but I believe he thought I would be impressed by watching him among his followers, taking on your ship, as he was quite certain you would show up sooner or later."

"And you remained unswayed," Jim replied with a smile.

"Indeed," was Mirror Spock's short response.

"That's why I like you so much, Spock," Jim said, looking at both versions of the Vulcan. "You're consistent in whichever universe I find you."

"Captain, if I might have a word with my First Officer?" Mirror Spock requested, gesturing to the view screen, where Commander Uhura was patiently waiting.

"Of course," Jim replied. He gave Uhura a look and she turned the comms back on.

"Captain," Mirror Uhura said with relief as she saw Mirror Spock standing next to Jim.

"I trust the ship has been safe in my absence?" Mirror Spock asked her.

"For now," she replied, not masking the skepticism in her voice.

Mirror Spock turned to Jim. "Captain, you have my assurances that we will take no action against the science station until you have safely removed your people from it. At that point, we intend to destroy the portal that has been created between our universes. If this can be done without destruction to the entire station, we welcome any input that would facilitate minimal damage. If you do not agree to our terms, then Commander Uhura will take whatever actions she sees fit to keep our ship and our universe safe."

"Captain, I'm getting word from the station – they're ready to start transports," Uhura notified Jim.

Jim turned to Mirror Spock. "We're about to start beaming some of the scientists to the ships. To do that, we'll need to uncloak. Will you help us avoid fire from the Reliant? In exchange, I'll ask the scientists to help you disable the portal."

"Commander," Mirror Spock addressed his First Officer by way of answer, "Please offer covering fire to the USS Enterprise and her companion ships as they transport evacuees from the station. And prepare for my return."

"Yes, Captain," Mirror Uhura replied before ending the comm.

Mirror Spock looked at Jim and extended his hand in the Terran Empire salute. "You have my word that we will do what we can to help you, in return for your assistance. May this be the last time we meet."

Jim nodded to the other captain, then looked over to Hendorff. "Escort Captain Spock to the transporter room. Have him beamed back to his ship," he commanded the security officer.

Good to their word, the ISS Enterprise offered covering fire as the three ships took turns uncloaking, to receive the scientists and their families, along with the surviving Resurrection crew members. As a ship would beam up a group, they would recloak and move to a new position so that the Reliant could not lock on them. Nonetheless, the Reliant did get a couple of shots in, one at the Enterprise and another on the Klingon Bird of Prey. Neither ship was badly damaged but the Enterprise lost its ability to cloak.

"Cap'n," Scotty said over the engineering comm channel, "They knew exactly where to hit us to take out the cloaking device."

"Understood, Mister Scott," Jim said with a sigh. Of course they did. They'd probably memorized the layout of the Enterprise when they hacked the records. They would know exactly where a cloaking device would have to be set up.

* * *

The comm went over the shipwide channel so Cass and Sabine heard it. In hindsight, Sabine was sure that was intentional. He knew she was still on the ship. He wanted her to hear what he had to say, what he was trying to do.

"Sir, we're being hailed by the Reliant," Uhura informed Jim just after he ended his comm with Scotty. He locked eyes with Spock.

"Put it through on the screen," he ordered Uhura. "Make sure Toq and Charvanek are patched in. Get the Mirror Enterprise on there as well."

"Are you sure, Captain?" Spock asked him. "Can we really trust the ISS Enterprise?"

"It's a risk I'm willing to take, Spock. Do it, Lieutenant," he commanded Uhura. She nodded at him and flipped the necessary switches. In an instant, the face of a man he'd hoped to never see again was on the view screen.

"Captain," Khan began. "How good to see you again."

"Wish I could say the same," Jim replied tightly.

"Is that any way to speak to the man responsible for your life, Captain Kirk? You would not be standing there without me," Khan countered.

"I'd assumed not destroying you and your followers was thank you enough," Jim shot back.

"One of your crew members is over here right now, Captain," Khan said, changing the subject. "Doctor Latour. Have you read her research on augmented humans?" He didn't give the captain a chance to respond. "But of course you have. You're alive because of it, aren't you?"

McCoy listened to the comm with growing apprehension.

"What's your point, Khan?" Jim said impatiently over the comm.

"It's interesting, isn't it? The strange bedfellows we find ourselves with when we need help. You have chosen to align yourself with Klingons and Romulans. I find myself working with the inferior class of augmented humans who came after me. You do realize Doctor Latour is helping me, don't you?"

"Lies," Sabine cried in the corridor of the Reliant.

"Hush. Jim knows where your loyalties are," Cass admonished her. But Sabine was still angry to hear the falsehood.

"You should have seen the way she threw herself at me," Khan continued. "Much like the Romulans who were willing to work with me." If he was expecting to get a rise out of Jim because of his comments, he was sorely disappointed. The captain kept a bored expression.

Meanwhile, Toq commed Charvanek. "What is he talking about? You worked with him?"

"Not me specifically," she replied impatiently. "We can discuss this later."

"No, we will discuss it now," Toq answered angrily. "What did your kind do with him?"

"You were right to suspect us of stealing your interceptor. We did it with his help," she told the Klingon. "And now, he is hoping to sow discord between us to distract us from working together to take him down. Can't you see that?"

Toq was silent for a moment. "We will discuss this after we have completed this mission," he grumbled.

"Yes, fine," Charvanek agreed. "Now be quiet so I can hear what's being said."

Toq cursed in Klingon at her then closed the comm.

Jim was telling Khan he was, in essence, full of shit. That nothing he said mattered because the Enterprise and her allies knew the truth. McCoy could feel Sabine's anger in the back of his mind, throbbing with every minute that the comm went on.

"Oh, Captain," Khan said, his voice silky smooth. "Your big words sound so fierce, don't they? Tell me, do they inspire your crew? Your allies? What would they all think if you had a change of heart?" He smiled and McCoy looked at Spock uneasily.

"Good thing I'm not gonna have any change of heart, Khan," Jim replied.

"Did you know," Khan said conversationally, "that the research Doctor Latour did on merging augmented blood with normal humans can be applied to telepathy?"

Sabine's blood ran cold and she shared a look with Cass. The Klingons and Romulans stopped talking on their ships and gave their undivided attention to the comm. On the ISS Enterprise, Captain Spock leaned forward, wondering if he would have to intervene, possibly putting his ship at risk.

_You have to end this comm!_

Sabine screaming into his mind caused McCoy to jump a little. She hadn't explained to McCoy how her research fit into what Khan had been able to do to her. In truth, she hadn't said much of anything after they'd helped close her mind to Khan both times. She'd been shell-shocked. McCoy hadn't considered going back and looking at her memories of the takeovers either. He'd been solely focused on offering her comfort. But McCoy knew Jim had Khan's blood in him and that was enough to know something was amiss. He looked over at Uhura.

"We can't let this comm continue," he whispered to her and she gave him a look.

"Now's not the time for jokes," she murmured.

"You're wasting my time, Khan," Jim answered impatiently. If not for Cass, Sabine and all the other Resurrection crew members aboard the Reliant, he would have fired torpedoes at the other ship just to shut the smug man up.

"On the contrary, Captain. I'm explaining to you just why you'll change your mind and decide to fight with me, instead of against me. Did you know that telepaths within the same family share a special bond?"

"I'm not jokin'. Turn off the comm," McCoy told Uhura and she looked at him like he was crazy.

"Captain, you have my blood. That makes you like family to me," Khan crowed.

Spock began to inch his way towards Jim. McCoy looked at Uhura hard. "I'm telling you, you need to turn the comm off now," he huffed at her, doing his best to keep his voice down.

"Not until the captain orders me," she whispered back.

"I'm not a telepath and neither are you," Jim retorted to Khan, oblivious to the argument at the communications console and Spock's creep towards him.

"Oh, but you're wrong," Khan replied as he held up one of the trainers. "I can be a telepath when I want. And when I'm a telepath, I can reach out to those who share my blood."

"Turn off the comm," McCoy shouted at Uhura as he rushed towards her. She complied while Spock ran to Jim and grabbed his shoulder, applying the Vulcan nerve pinch. Jim fell to the ground and the view screen went blank.

McCoy and Spock conferred and agreed to let Jim wake up from the nerve pinch rather than use sedatives to keep him unconscious. He wasn't happy with them when he woke up until they explained how close he'd come to a possible brainwashing from Khan.

* * *

Khan wasn't angry that he hadn't been able to overtake Kirk's mind. While it would have been satisfying to fry the other man's mind, it was also pleasing to realize the young captain and brilliant strategist had been rendered unconscious. That was one more advantage to him. He'd also been able to stir up bad feelings between the Klingons and Romulans – this little party would be broken up in no time, of that he was certain. He glanced at the doors to the bridge. He knew Doctor Latour and her friends were working to get through them and it amused him. So many futile efforts. He awaited a comm from the ISS Enterprise. Surely now they realized the kind of damage he could inflict. All they needed to do was join forces with him and both universes would end up under his control.

"Master," came a voice behind him. "The ships are uncloaking. I believe they are beaming up civilians from the space station."

Khan turned to the woman. "Thank you, Aubrey. Lock phasers on the ships as they uncloak."

She nodded in response and moved to the helmsman's seat.

Khan liked making her do his dirty work. He knew, as broken as her mind was, it still retained a piece of her and that piece would hate watching the rest of her carry out his commands. Knowing she was suffering somewhere inside that hollowed-out shell of a mind was a small pittance for having not yet broken Latour's mind. But rather than sulk, Khan thought about how much he was going to savor destroying the other telepath when he was done making her watch the destruction of her ship. He hadn't even minded that Doctor McCoy and Mirror Spock had escaped because it would be that much more gratifiying to make Latour watch as her lover was killed when the Enterprise was blown up.

* * *

Jim sought Carol and several of her fellow scientists out once they were on board the Enterprise to explain to them what he needed to appease the ISS Enterprise. The scientists balked but he explained to them it was the only way to guarantee everyone's safety. They walked two members of the ISS Enterprise through what they needed to do to disable the portal.

Carol and Jim shared a tense conversation as she watched her hard work be dismantled from the bridge of the Enterprise.

"I cannot believe there was no other way to handle the Mirror Enterprise," she said to him unhappily.

"Look, even by my standards, there's a lot going on right now. You still have your research, you still have the base itself. It's not like you can't rebuild the portal if we survive this," Jim said, attempting to placate her.

"We spent three years on this," she replied wistfully.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could have found a way for you to keep the device. But, you know, I'm also trying to make sure Khan doesn't take over our universe and theirs."

Carol gave him a resigned smile. "I'm sorry. I know you're dealing with quite a lot right now."

Once the device was disabled, the portal to the mirrorverse began to shrink in on itself. They watched as the ISS Enterprise entered the rapidly-contracting portal, returning to its own universe.

"Perhaps you would like to come with me for a moment?" Carol asked Jim after the portal closed. "I think I might have just the thing to cheer both of us up."

* * *

"Scotty, it's not working," Cass muttered to her comm in frustration as she ducked another phaser blast and turned back to the wiring panel next to the still-locked doors to the bridge.

"I'm runnin' oot of ideas," the Engineer replied. "And the cap'n would like me to focus my efforts on repairing our cloaking device, lass."

"Go on," Cass responded wearily. "I'll figure this out one way or another."

Sabine worked her way over to Cass.

"This is not the best place to find ourselves cornered," she informed the Betazoid, before turning around to fire at an Augment peeping out from one of the columns in the corridor.

"I can't get the doors to open anyway," Cass replied. "Let's get rid of these fuckers out here so I can come up with something without having to worry about my head getting taken off by a blast."

She and Sabine looked down the corridors that led to the bridge doors. Half of their team was spread out down the right and the other half down the left.

"I'll take this side," Cass said, nodding towards the right. "You take that side." Sabine nodded at her and made her way towards the left corridor. What she hadn't realized, till she was standing next to him behind one of the columns, was that Dinesh was in her part of the corridor. She could feel several signals at the same time – Cass's, Roz's, Aubrey's, though that was more faint, and his. They smiled at one another nervously because even in the middle of a shootout on a ship some 230 years into the future, seeing your ex was still awkward. Like Cass, Dinesh didn't have to touch someone to communicate telepathically so his voice was in Sabine's head before she could reach out to start the conversation.

_So, this is the future, huh?_

I swear, it is not usually like this. You would like it on a normal day. 

Sabine darted across the hallway as she shot at an Augment and hit him on the arm.

_What happens on a normal day? You guys just zoom around and discover new planets and people?_

You have no idea how accurate that is. Yes. That is exactly what we do. You would love it. 

Dinesh moved forward, blasting the same Augment Sabine had just hit in the chest.

_Gotta say, these phasers are pretty terrific. As far as instruments of death go._

They can also be used to stun your opponent. And if we were not dealing with these assholes, I would recommend the stun setting. 

_Is it weird I don't feel bad about killing any of these fuckers?_

If it is, I am right there with you. When you think about it, these people are the reason we were trained in the first place. 

They darted down the hallway with other members of their group, looking for the next targets and a phaser blast that narrowly missed Sabine's head was their indication they had found a new nest of Augments to smoke out.

_Yeah, I'm fully aware of the irony of coming this far into the future just to fight the past that led to our own fucked-up times._

If we make it through this – 

Sabine was interrupted by another blast that took down one of their colleagues. She rushed to the woman's side to see what she could do to help. After tending to the crew member, she resumed her stance, firing towards the spot the Augment had last shot from.

_Besides killing homicidal genetic freaks from the past, how're you doing? You look good._

Sabine shot Dinesh a look as they crossed the hallway, moving closer to their target.

Did you really just check me out? 

_Sorry, old habits and all that. Look, I know you've got someone else now. I mean, clearly, our bond is broken. I can feel you're connected to someone and that someone isn't me. It's okay, Sabs. I wanted you to move on. I was so scared you were gonna die too._

She had to take a moment to compose herself, then quickly fire her phaser before ducking back behind the column keeping her hidden from their opponent.

I hated you for leaving me, you know. For the longest time, I believed I must not have been worth it if you were willing to die instead of letting me jump back and save you. 

_God, you have to know I didn't want to leave you. We had no idea if the jump would work – and if you had wasted that fuel saving me, you guys wouldn't have had enough to jump forward. What was the point of saving me if we just ended up dead a few minutes or hours or even days later? You can hate me all you want, but given the choice of you surviving or both of us dying, I'm always gonna choose your survival._

You had no real idea I was going to survive. 

Once more they criss-crossed the hallway as the Augment fell back, still shooting at them. He was joined by another Augment and now they had two different sources of phaser blasts to pay attention to.

_I believed in you. You were always stronger than me. If one of us was going to make it, my money was always on you._

You use that line on all your lifebonds? 

She gave him a small smile as she shot at and hit one of the Augments.

_You know I do._

He grinned back at her, took a shot and hit the other Augment in the head.

You were always better at this part than I was. 

_Well, not sure that's something I'm particularly proud of. Though that was a really impressive shot if I say so myself._

They heard footsteps coming up the corridor and ran for cover. Peaking out from behind a column, Sabine grinned to see who was walking their way.

"I did not know you were on this ship!" she cried as she ran to give Adjoa a hug.

"I was not. I just beamed aboard. We have transported the scientists and their families from the station and I thought you might need some help. But it looks like you have things well in order here, oh!"

She smiled as Dinesh and other members of the Resurrection team came out from behind their hiding places.

"Don't speak too soon," Cass said as she sauntered down the other end of the corridor. "My guess is there's still another five Augments creeping around this ship, plus whoever's on the bridge with Aubrey and they're probably also beaming themselves off the station and back here."

"Way to kill the mood," Dinesh cracked.

Cass ignored him and looked at Adjoa with a gleam in her eye. "You know, you're just the person I could use right now. Scotty was trying to walk me through overriding the code on the doors to the bridge – think you might be able to handle it?"

"I can give it a go," Adjoa replied with the right mix of confidence and self-deprecation.

Cass's instincts were right. A Resurrection group near the transporter room of the Reliant got on the ear comms to tell everyone else ten Augments had just beamed onto the ship.

"Back to work," Sabine murmured as the groups in the corridor joined to move down towards the deck with the transporter room. She and Cass stayed behind with Adjoa to crack the doors to the bridge. Sabine gave Dinesh a smile as he moved away and he returned it with one of his own but she could feel the sadness in him. He loved her. For him, they had been together just a few days ago. For her, it had been years. She'd felt him die. She loved him now, still, but it wasn't the same and they both knew it. Her heart belonged to McCoy. As happy as Dinesh was that she'd moved on and found someone else, it hurt to be replaced. All the banter in the world couldn't fix that pain. Still, she reached out through the connection he'd left open.

Be safe. There is so much good I want to show you in this universe. 

_I'll do my best. You stay safe, too, you hear? I don't want to have wasted a perfectly good death._

It took Adjoa mere minutes to do what Cass and Scotty had spent almost a half-hour trying to accomplish. And once the doors to the bridge of the Reliant slid open, they found themselves face to face with three Augments and a still-catatonic Aubrey.

The three friends shared a look and pulled out their phasers.

Adjoa and Sabine had fought together before, though it had been years. Cass knew how to hold her own in a fight. They didn't need to communicate with one another – didn't even need telepathy. Instinctively, each one took a different direction, her eyes set on a different Augment to take down. And they didn't forget to look out for each other, offering covering fire when they could. The first thing all three women aimed for were the communicators each Augment had hanging from their belts. Take out the communicators and you took out the ability to call for back up. Meanwhile, the Augments were focused on shooting to kill.

Adjoa had always been a fierce fighter – at the camp, she'd been known for her abilities to take an opponent down quickly. Her time with the Klingons had only sharpened her skills. She killed her Augment by tracking his reflection on the ship's consoles. Crouched behind the science console, she waited till her opponent was in just the right spot, practicially parallel to her on the other side of the console, and rolled under it, her phaser ready as she shot him from the ground. He fell into a heap next to her and she looked around to see which friend needed more help.

Sabine was wrestling with her opponent, a female Augment who had knocked Sabine's phaser away. Cass was hiding from her opponent, much like Adjoa had. They were exchanging fire across the bridge. And meanwhile, Aubrey just stood there, looking at nothing. It didn't take a telepath to know something wasn't right with that one. Adjoa decided to assist Sabine – at least get her phaser back to her.

The two friends made eye contact and Sabine shifted. It allowed her opponent to grab her and attempt to strangle her but it also gave Adjoa a perfect shot. Like that, the Augments grip around Sabine's neck slackened and the Augment fell to the ground. Sabine smiled at Adjoa.

"I have missed fighting with you," she said as the Togolaise handed her a phaser.

"Not a sentence I expected to hear but the sentiment is shared," Adjoa replied. They turned to find Cass standing over her opponent, phaser aimed at his chest.

"Fuck off, asshole," Cass muttered as she shot him. Sabine shot at him as well to ensure he was good and dead.

"We done here?" Cass asked the other two women, walking past them to Aubrey.

Before anyone could answer, Adjoa's communicator chirped.

"Yes?" she answered.

It was her ship. They wanted her to come back and help with repairs from the damage they'd received beaming up scientists from Regula I.

"You two will be okay without me?" she asked the other two.

"Yes," Sabine answered for both, Cass's attentions completely focused on her sister.

"See you soon," Adjoa said just before the beams from her ship's transporter engulfed her.

Sabine moved towards the Pike sisters but as she did, the doors to the ready room, just off the bridge, opened and out came Khan. Sabine groaned. At least she was done pretending she wanted anything to do with him. She squared her shoulders, cracked her neck, and decided to see just how much juice she had left. Extending her arms, she pushed him back into the ready room with her mind and sealed the doors.

"We do not have much time," she told Cass, who had looked over to see who was on the bridge with them. "It will not take him long to get through those doors."

At that moment, the doors to the bridge opened and five Augments came walking in.

"Fuck me with a chainsaw," Cass muttered, pulling away from Aubrey and drawing her phaser.

* * *

Carol crouched before Jim, resting her hands on the shoulders of the little boy in front of her. From his first look at the child, Jim realized he'd never be able to argue paternity (not that he had any desire to make an argument). The boy gazed up at him with a familiar set of blue eyes.

"Jim, this is David. Our son," Carol said as she looked up at her former flame with affection.

"David," she said to the boy and he turned to look at her with adoring eyes, "This is your father."

The boy looked back at Jim and then turned to his mother once more. She stood and gave him a nod. "Go on, dear, it's okay."

Jim crouched down to he was at the boy's line of sight and David toddled over to him, wrapping his arms around Jim's neck. He whispered a single word in Jim's ear. "Daddy."

Jim picked the boy up, hugging him tightly. "Hi David. I'm so happy to meet you." He held the tiny child to him, looking at Carol with intense emotions swirling in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner," she whispered, as she ruffled David's hair.

"I'm just glad I know now," Jim replied.

There was so much more to be said, so many more hugs to share, but Jim couldn't do it just then. They had rescued all the children and scientists but the fight was far from over.

* * *

You two need some help? 

Sabine almost smiled, she was so relieved to hear Dinesh's voice in her head. She let Cass respond, saving her own now-limited energies for when they would be needed most.

_God, yes. Get us out of here._

Okay, I'm heading to the transporter room. Either of you know how to do this? 

Both women were doing their best to dodge the phaser fire coming at them from the five Augments but one of them grazed Cass and she fell to the ground, swearing.

_Fuck. Ow. Yes, I know how to transport. Take a look._

She shared her knowledge with Dinesh.

Guys, this is my first time doing this. Can you hold still so I can get a lock on you? 

_Sure. We'll just ask these Augments to stop shooting at us. No problem. Hey dickwads, even though you're trying to kill us, can you just not move and hold your fire while we get rescued?_

Okay, okay. No need to get shitty about it. I hope this works! 

Within seconds, Sabine and Cass felt the tingle of the transporter beams and then they were in front of Dinesh, on the Reliant's transporter platform.

"Thank you," Sabine cried as she jumped off the platform and hugged him tight. Cass sank down on the platform, and Sabine turned back to her, grabbing the dermal regenerator and working to heal the red gash on Cass's back.

Cass's communicator chirped as Sabine finished using the regenerator on her back.

"Yeah?" Cass answered tiredly.

"You need to get everyone off the Reliant," came Jim's voice.

"Well, hello to you too," Cass grumbled.

"I'm serious, Cass. We lost our cloaking device and they're gunning for us. Get your people back here so we can fire on the Reliant without taking any of you out."

Cass and Sabine exchanged a look.

"Jim, I still need to get Aubrey and she's on the bridge, surrounded by about five Augments and Khan."

"You do what you need to do but I can't promise your safety," Jim replied.

"Understood," she sighed, closing the communicator.

"I am not leaving you," Sabine told her.

"Thanks," Cass replied gratefully.

"I'll take care of getting everyone else back to the Enterprise," Dinesh told both women. "You two get Aubrey. Leave the rest to me."

Cass gave him an appreciative look and then turned to Sabine. "I gotta say, your taste in men is good."

Sabine blushed but didn't deny it.

"Go on," Dinesh prompted the women. "I'm getting the feeling we don't have a lot of time left."

Sabine hopped up and pulled Cass to her feet.

"We can do this," she said to the other woman.

"Oh yeah? You and me are gonna take on six Augments? One of whom is Khan?"

"Yes. We are," Sabine replied resolutely as she held her hands in front of her. Cass watched as sparks began to pop off the tips of Sabine's fingers. "You and I. We can do it alone."

Cass had to admit, she felt a lot better if sparkles were involved – sparkles of the telekinetic kind.

* * *

"Get all the scientists, all their family members, off the ship," Jim ordered the transporter room over the comms.

Jim had seen the Reliant coming towards them. He realized the Enterprise was compromised without its cloaking device. He'd commed both Toq and Charvanek to take all the scientists and children from the Enterprise onto their ships and to get away from the area as quickly as they could. In the meantime, he had Sulu and Chekov taking evasive actions. He hoped he'd given enough time to get everyone onto the other ships.

"Captain, they're getting ready to fire," Sulu said from his console.

"Torpedoes or phasers?" Jim asked.

"Torpedoes," Sulu answered.

"Scotty, tell me we've got enough juice to outrun them," Jim asked the Chief Engineer over the ship system.

"Aye, sir. We can't cloak, but we can run."

"We need to run now!" Jim exclaimed as he watched a torpedo launch from the Reliant.

The ship careened sharply to the right, banking so that it was almost at a 45 degree angle.

"Captain, the scientists are off the ship," came the comm from the transporter room. A moment later, the ship shook as the torpedo launched from the Reliant grazed one of the nacelles.

"Scotty, give me good news," Jim begged.

"Ach, well, they only damaged one nacelle? We can still get to warp 3 but that was a bit closer than I'd like, Cap'n," replied the engineer, sounds of chaos coming over the comm from engineering.

"How many of our people are still on the Reliant?" Jim asked the bridge crew.

"Three, sir," Uhura answered.

"Cass – who else?" Jim replied.

"Latour's still there," McCoy growled.

"Sulu, aim for their nacelles. When I tell you, fire phasers."

"Yes, sir." Jim looked at the view screen. It would be a tough shot but they might be able to hit the left nacelle, causing the Reliant some turbulence.

"Fire now," he barked. They grazed one of the Reliant's nacelles but the ship remained otherwise unharmed.

"Sorry, captain," Sulu said.

"It's not your fault. We didn't have a good shot," Jim replied.

"Scotty, get us to the other side of the space station. We need something between us and the Reliant."

"Aye, sir."

Safely hidden from the Reliant, Jim turned to look at Spock.

"How do we disable them without destroying them?"

"A good question," the Vulcan replied. "Perhaps we should get our people off their ship and then we will not have to worry about being so careful with our shots."

Jim pulled out his communicator.

"Cass?"

There was no response. In the meantime, Khan was coming around the station to them.

"Scotty, get us away from the Reliant," Jim yelled over the comm.

"Cap'n, she's givin' it all she's got – they're faster than us right now. I cannae fix that."

The Reliant launched a torpedo that hit one of the warp coils in the Enterprise's right nacelle. After the ship righted itself from the hit, Jim was back on the comm with Scotty.

"What's the damage?" he asked the engineer.

"We have no warp capabilities right now," Scotty answered. "Impulse drive only."

Khan continued to pursue them as though the two ships were playing a game of hide and seek.

"He is not thinking three-dimensionally," Spock commented.

"But I am," Jim replied.

"Take us over the station. When you have your shot, you take it," he ordered Sulu. The helmsman nodded and hit the thrusters. The ship rose, traversing the space above the station to end up just above the Reliant.

"Now, Sulu," Jim ordered. "Don't blow them up – just disable them."

Sulu launched phasers at the Reliant's left nacelle, taking it out.

They all watched as the Reliant began careening drastically to its side. Jim flipped his communicator open. "Cass, you okay?" There was nothing but static for a few seconds and in those seconds, Jim felt his stomach drop. He saw McCoy's face harden.

"Yeah, we're just great. Everyone loves flying sideways," came her sardonic reply.

"I told you –"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Can't talk now, we're kinda in the middle of something."

Jim watched as the Reliant launched another torpedo but this time, the entire bridge watched the torpedo stop in the middle of space.

"What the…"

"It's Latour," McCoy said with a grimace. "She's holding the torpedo in place, giving us a chance to get out of range."

Before Jim could answer, a new voice came over the ship's comms.

"Heghlu'meH QaQ jajvam!"

"Toq!" Jim replied. "What're you doing here?"

"You looked as though you could use some help, Captain."

The bridge crew watched as the Klingon Bird of Prey uncloaked and shot at the Reliant.

"We still have people on their ship!" Jim cried out.

A new voice came over the comms. "I know, Captain," Adjoa replied. "All we have done is disable their weapons. Now they cannot fire at you – no phasers, no torpedoes, but minimal damage to the ship itself."

"Toq, when I see you guys again, I'm gonna hug every one of you so hard," Jim called out over the comm.

A sound of disgust came back.

"I expect better of you, Captain Kirk. Sentimentality is weak. Bring me some bloodwine and then we can talk," Toq responded.

"Okay, no hugs. Bloodwine instead."

Jim's communicator chirped as the Bird of Prey recloaked and moved out of the battlefield.

"What's happening there, Cass?" Jim asked with concern.

"Look, Sabs just took out five Augments at once with her twinkle fingers. I'm gonna grab Aubrey, we'll round up Dinesh, and we're gonna get out of here, so you can blow this thing to smithereens if you want. Sound good?"

Jim smiled, the first real smile he'd made in what felt like days.

"Yeah, sounds good. Get back here," he replied, closing the comm.

* * *

Sabine couldn't take her eyes off the flashing red light directly in front of her. While Cass moved around her in a blur, all she could do was stare at that bright flash, as if in a trance.

On/off. On/off.

The little girl that remained in Aubrey was still hiding and even Cass was having a hard time reaching out to her. She knew because she could feel Cass's frustration through the connection Cass had created between the three women. But it was no surprise to Sabine that the little girl was staying hidden. Aubrey's mind was so fractured, it was amazing she'd ever managed to reach out to them, even in a dream.

On/off. On/off.

"You won't make it off this ship alive," Khan hissed, moving towards them. Without so much as a movement of her hand, she propelled him backwards, until he hit the wall. She was tired of his threats, of how he went from monotone to rage at the drop of a pin. She hated his face, full of features that weren't his; the eyes of John but filled with hatred and Anthony's elegant nose on that horrid, pasty face.

The light was pulling her attention towards it again.

On/off. On/off.

She had seen the same light go off on the Enterprise. Everyone knew what the light meant, what the sounds were telling them. Hostile contact had been made. Phasers or torpedoes had launched, had likely found their mark. Systems failures were a strong probability. They were going to die. But that never happened for the Enterprise – they always survived red alert. Surely this would be no different. This ship may not make it – probably wouldn't, if Jim had his way, but they would survive – Cass, Dinesh, Aubrey – they would all beam back to the Enterprise and leave this awful mess behind them.

Sabine inched closer to Aubrey. It would be easier to find the little girl inside that twisted mind if she could touch Aubrey and not be reliant on Cass's connection.

On/off. On/off.

The red light had an orange-ish tinge to it. It wasn't totally red. And the intervals of light were uneven. Two seconds off, then two seconds on, then one second off, and two seconds on again.

On/off. On/off.

Khan grabbed her before she could reach Aubrey and flung her across the bridge. Sabine hit the wall with a thud and slid down it.

She got up and brushed herself off then looked at him.

"I am tired of your shit," she snarled, throwing her hands out in front of her and shoving him across the bridge with her mind.

She made her way quickly back to Aubrey, grabbing her hand.

On/off. On/off.

Cass held Khan off while Sabine connected with Aubrey.

I know you are in here. Come out. Let us play a new game. 

_A new one? What is it?_

Inside the hellscape, a tiny, dark-haired girl stuck her head up from the maze she was hiding inside.

This game is called Tag. 

_How do you play?_

We start with one of us being It. I can be It first. I will chase you and when I touch you, then you will be It. 

On/off. On/off.

The light flashed back and forth between brightness and darkness. It wasn't worried or scared. It was just a light. But it left Sabine wanting to empty the contents of her stomach all over the floor of the ship.

_This game sounds fun._

It is, I promise. 

_And I just need to start running?_

The landscape changed. Still dark – still surrounded by black. But now they were in a field of tall black grass, a black sky above them, black clouds rolling through it. The little girl was so close. Just a meter away.

Yes, just run. And I will catch you. Then you will be It. 

_And then what?_

You will know. 

On/off. On/off.

The little girl started running and Sabine took off after her. Within seconds she had caught up. She tagged the little girl's shoulder.

Tag. You're it. 

When she had learned to play tag, within her first days at the Peacekeepers camp, Sabine had thought "Tag. You're it," was one word. She hadn't understood the meaning of the words themselves, just that it was what you said when you tagged another person. Even now, she saw it in her mind as "taguerrite."

On/off. On/off.

Her grip tightened on Aubrey's hand as she emptied her abilities into the other woman's mind. She hadn't known before reaching out to Aubrey that she could actually give her powers to another like this. But she could and she did.

You can do great things now. You do not have to stay here. You can be free. 

_It's too late._

The girl looked at her with tear-streaked cheeks.

No, it is not. I promise you. I tagged you. You can do what you want now. 

On/off. On/off.

Cass cried out behind her and Sabine released Aubrey, only to turn around right into Khan's grasp. From across the room, where Khan had tossed her, Cass got up slowly.

She watched in horror as Khan held the trainer to Sabine's ear.

"You will never enter another mind again," he whispered as he brought Sabine to her knees. "You will never use your mind to move another object."

On/off. On/off.

He frowned as he realized the trainer wasn't collecting anything from Sabine. She had nothing left to give it. He gave a frustrated cry as he tossed it across the bridge. Cass eyed the device. It was so close. She pulled her phaser out and aimed at the trainer. This wasn't the only one but now he'd have one less instrument of telepathic torture. She dissolved it just to hear Sabine scream in pain and surprise.

On/off. On/off.

"You are worthless to me now," Khan menaced Sabine as she struggled to get off her knees and back onto her feet. Before she fully regained her balance, she felt a sudden pain in her side and cried out. She looked down to see the knife handle in Khan's hand, right next to her. She was confused. Where was the rest of the knife? As she looked up at him in confusion, she felt and heard a sound – a sucking, a feeling like a piece of wet silk being torn in two. She looked back down. There was the knife, coming out of her side, slowly. She looked back up at him, his cold smile as he pulled the knife out slowly, twisting it to make the wound more painful, to inflict maximum harm.

"Phasers don't do enough damage, do they? There's something comforting about antique weaponry," he whispered conversationally to her.

On/off. On/off.

Cass yelled and ran towards Khan, ready to fight him, when a hand reached out and stopped her. Aubrey. She looked in her sister's eyes and, for the first time since she'd boarded the Reliant, for the first time since that day on Yorktown in Sabine and Aubrey's apartment, she saw her sister looking back at her, felt her sister's presence.

On/off. On/off.

Sabine had heard about near-death experiences. She'd been pretty sure before that moment she'd experienced one or two along the way. But as Khan drew his knife out of her side and she felt her life drain away, Sabine realized it wasn't events from your life that flashed before your eyes at the end. It was people. All the people she'd loved came to her mind in rapid succession as she struggled to fight the darkness closing in on her. She saw her parents, her grandmother, all the Resurrection gang: Dinesh, Adjoa – then the people she'd met here, during her second chance at life: Cass, Aubrey, Jim, Ny, Scotty, Spock, Sulu, Chekov – it was amazing to her how many people had touched her. As she began to lose consciousness, she said a little prayer that she had done right by all of them. The last face her mind clung to was, of course, Leo. She loved him so much. She hoped he would forgive her for failing to keep her promise and make it back. She wished she could see him one last time but the blackness swallowed her and then there was nothing.

On/off. On/off.

* * *

McCoy was on the bridge, pacing restlessly. After the first rush of patients from the rescue op on Regula I had been attended to, Chapel kicked him out of med bay, claiming he was too nervous to be of any good down there but they both knew she'd done it so he could be here on the bridge to watch everything unfold. Sabine was still out there. McCoy had taken for granted that he could feel Sabine in the back of his mind – he could feel the connection to her – sometimes, it grew tight as she fought, because she was under duress. The bond would get stretched taut and he would do his best to remain calm and confident in her abilities. But even when it was slack, it was still there.

Until it wasn't.

As Sabine drained her powers into Aubrey, McCoy grew agitated, feeling a shift in the bond between them. She was still there but it was getting harder and harder to feel her.

"Jim! What's happening over there?"

"I don't know, Bones. We're not doing ship-to-ship comms right now, remember?" Jim looked at his own communicator in frustration. Cass hadn't answered his last comm. He had a feeling something had gone wrong in her plan to get Aubrey off the ship.

"Something's wrong," McCoy said frantically. "Something's very wrong."

Uhura looked up at him worriedly.

"What do you feel?" she asked him as he stopped near her console.

"That's the problem," he replied to her, his eyes wide with a panic she'd never seen in them before. "I don't feel anything."

As McCoy became more agitated, Jim gave Spock a concerned glance. The first officer wondered if he ought to subdue the doctor. Before he could make a decision one way or the other, McCoy quieted. He knew, before Cass reached out to him and he ran off the bridge, without a word to anyone else.

_Bones, get your ass to the transporter room now!_

Jim watched McCoy run off and wondered what his friend had sensed. He couldn't follow though – they were still monitoring everyone on the Reliant, still working to get their own warp engines up and running once more.

Without a word, Jim nodded to Spock and the Vulcan took off after McCoy.

In the transporter room, one of the technicians helped Cass pull Sabine's body off the platform.

"Is she…," the kid couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.

"She will be if Bones doesn't get here soon," Cass spat, channeling all her fear and worry into rage. "When he gets here, tell him I felt a faint pulse before we beamed over."

"Okay, but where are you going?"

"Back. I'm not leaving my sister there with him," Cass said determinedly.

"But the captain said –"

"I don't give a fuck what he said. Beam me over now," Cass snarled and the technicians complied, not liking how her hand was dancing around the phaser attached to her hip.

Right after Cass beamed back to the Reliant, McCoy rushed into the transporter room. His relief at seeing Sabine propped up in a sitting position against the console was short-lived as he saw the wound in her side, the blood from it spreading across her tactical suit. He checked her pulse as Spock entered the room and scanned her with his tricorder while pressing one hand against the wound, trying to stop the blood.

"She's not breathing," he shouted at Spock and the Vulcan knelt down beside him, examining Sabine.

"Miss Pike left her here. Said she had a weak pulse just before they beamed over."

"What the hell is happening over there?"

"I don't know but Miss Pike said she was going back to get her sister. She insisted."

McCoy didn't care. His only concern was for the lifeless woman in front of him.

* * *

Things had been going so well and then it had all gone to shit.

The mood on the Enterprise was grim. Jim knew Sabine had made it back to the ship but the last he'd heard from Spock was that she wasn't breathing. He was certain Bones would do whatever he could to save her but he didn't relish what would happen if his friend wasn't successful. He also knew Cass had gone back to the Reliant against his orders, though he expected no less from her – she would not stop till she brought Aubrey back to safety or died trying.

"Sir, they're overloading the Reliant's warp drive," Sulu said in alarm.

"Son of a bitch," Jim swore. "How much time do we have till the ship blows?"

"Not enough to be out of range," Sulu replied tightly.

"Wizout our own warp drive, an explosion of zat magnitude will take us down wiz eet," Chekov said uneasily, trying to run the numbers to find an alternative.

It would be a massive explosion – taking out the space station and the Enterprise too if they couldn't get away. Hundreds of nuclear reactions going off at once. A disaster.

"Scotty!" Jim said over the ship comm. "They're overloading the Reliant's warp drive. Tell me how we get out of this."

The Scotsman cursed a blue streak in reply.

"Cap'n, that ship is going to blow one way or another at this point. The only way we survive is if someone goes over and manually overrides the warp drive…but they would have to stay on the ship till the very end to give us any chance of escaping."

Jim looked at Spock in profound distress.

"Uhura," Jim began, his eyes still on Spock, "can you contact the team on the Reliant?"

"Yes, Captain," she replied. "There are only two people from the team still there."

"Who?" Jim asked, finally looking away from Spock.

"Cass and Dinesh," she replied softly. "Aubrey is still there too, but I have no response on whether they have successfully revived her." She cocked her head to the side as she listened to the comms from the other ship.

"Captain," she said in surprise. "They've set the auto destruct sequence!"

Jim cursed. He had no choice.

"Open a line to Cass," Jim said, the words almost impossible to get out.

He couldn't ask this of her. He didn't want to ask it of anyone. He knew what it felt like to die and he didn't wish that on anyone. But, as Spock had burned into his brain so many times, the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few…or the one.

"Jim, now's not a great time," came Cass's voice over a blast of static.

"We've got a problem," Jim replied and then quickly outlined the issue for her.

"Motherfucker," she swore.

"I can do it," came another voice over the comm. Jim turned to Uhura.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, briefly muting the comm. "I couldn't comm just Cass. The message went to both team members."

"This is Dinesh?" Jim replied into the comm.

"Yeah. Look, if someone can walk me through how to do the override, I'll do it."

"Jim, is there no other way?" Cass pleaded. "Dinesh, you'll die."

"I know," Dinesh replied over the open comm. "It's okay. This has all been borrowed time for me. I never expected – or wanted – to live beyond the Resurrection V explosion. At least this way, I can die knowing I did something to help everyone else."

Dinesh had seen Sabine in Cass's arms, had helped them beam to the Enterprise. He didn't know if she would survive but he knew this was what he needed to do. Hopefully, she'd live and forgive him for dying one more time.

Cass was crying; Jim could hear her sobs through the comm.

"You're sure you want to do this?" Jim asked, trying to give the other man any way out.

"I've never been more certain," Dinesh replied.

"I'll patch you through to Scotty," Jim said weakly before ending the comm and nodding at Uhura to make the connection between the chief engineer and the man on the Reliant. Jim put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He had to go down to med bay. If Sabine made it, he would shoulder the burden of telling her what was happening.

"Spock, you have the conn," he said in a hollow voice.

* * *

Cass beamed back to the transporter room of the Reliant. It was empty and she had no clue where Dinesh had gone. He was alive – she could feel his signal. And that was enough for her. She needed to get Aubrey and get them all off this damn ship.

She was almost to the bridge when an injured Augment grabbed her foot and tripped her. She swore, grabbed for her phaser, couldn't find it, and settled for kicking the man in the head till he let go of her other leg. She scrambled up and looked around for the phaser, finding it a couple of meters away from her. Just to be sure, she aimed it at the Augment and fired. He wouldn't be tripping anyone else.

Cass came through the doors of the bridge to find Aubrey with her hand around Khan's neck, lifting him a half meter off the ground.

"Let him go," she told her sister. "We need to get out of here."

"I'm not going anywhere," Aubrey replied.

In the background, Cass could hear the computer talking. The self-destruct sequence had just been activated. They had 15 minutes to get off the ship.

Jim commed her at just that instant. After the comm, Cass wiped away her tears, and turned to Aubrey, who was still holding Khan up by his throat.

"Please, Aubrey! Please! We have to get out of here."

Aubrey's response was internal.

_I can't leave. My mind is tied to his now. If I go, he survives in me. I am only able to overpower him right now because of Sabine._

Sabine? 

_She gave me all her powers. I have her telekinesis. It's her telepathy that has allowed me to repair my mind to this point._

Cass hadn't realized that was what Sabine had been doing when she was connected to Aubrey. She reached into Aubrey's mind. It was a much different place than it had been just an hour ago.

Her powers let you do all this? 

_Yes, but it is not a complete fix. Don't look too closely or you'll see the cracks._

But, of course, anytime someone told her not to do something, Cass's first impulse was to do it. So she did look more closely. The garden she and Aubrey were standing in was lush and beautiful; just as Cass remembered it from before Aubrey's second disappearance out of her life. Except. As Cass scrutinized it, she began to see rotten fruit hanging on the trees, dead flowers on the ground. And worst of all, shiny millipedes and hairy centipedes slithered on the same ground where they stood. Cass shivered. She and Aubrey shared a revulsion for insects of any kind, but most especially these disgusting creatures with their overabundance of legs and miniature snake-like bodies.

_I told you not to look._

You knew that would make me look. 

_But now you see. It's there, under the good. Cass, what he did to me – I can't recover from it. I was always a little broken – you know that. But the things the Augments and Khan did to me – Sabine's abilities will only last so long, Cass. Then I'll be back under his control. Let me go out on my own terms, and take him down too._

"I can't leave here without you," Cass said to her sister, tears filling her eyes once more. "I looked for you for so long. Now that I found you, I can't just walk out without you."

"This is all very touching," Khan choked out. Both women glared at him.

"Shut the fuck up," Cass threatened him, pulling out her phaser.

"You kill him, you kill me," Aubrey warned her. "Just go, Cass."

"Not without you," Cass cried. She knew – deep inside, even if she didn't want to admit it – she knew Aubrey was right. She couldn't go with Cass. She needed to go down with the Reliant. But Cass could not imagine leaving her sister. If it came to that, she'd stay on the Reliant and go down with the ship too. Aubrey knew where Cass's thoughts were going.

_You don't need me. You never did. You have so many friends, so many people who love you. Don't worry about me._

You're my family. How could I ever leave you? 

_Family is whatever you make of it. Look, I've been shitty to you. I've repeatedly run away and hid from you when we needed each other most. You deserve to surround yourself with people who won't run at the least provocation. I'm sorry I wasn't a better sister to you. I'm sorry._

Cass couldn't answer; she couldn't move. Tears rolled down her face. This wasn't how it was supposed to work out – she was supposed to save Aubrey and everything would be right in the universe once more.

Aubrey motioned to Cass, using telekinesis to keep Khan against the wall, choked by an invisible force as he dangled above the floor.

"Come here, you big baby," she said affectionately and Cass ran to her. Aubrey hugged her sister tightly. And while Cass was distracted, hugging Aubrey back just as fiercely, Aubrey stole her communicator.

"Enterprise," she said into it. "One to beam up."

"Aubrey, no!" Cass yelled.

_I love you, you idiot. Always remember that. I may have been a shit sibling, but I loved your ass._

Cass could hear, then see the transporter beams around her.

"Noooo," she cried but it was too late. She was back on the Enterprise.

"Send me back," she yelled. "Send me back now."

Instead, she was engulfed by arms in a yellow shirt. Jim. He held her as she cried, falling to her knees on the platform. Cass had never felt more alone.

When the Reliant exploded, the Enterprise gently rocked in its wake. Dinesh had successfully overridden the warp drive overload and Aubrey had ensured Khan would never terrorize her, or anyone else, again.

 


	123. Chapter 123

Leonard McCoy was a good doctor. One of the best. But he wasn't a miracle worker and that was what Sabine needed. Every time he got her heart rate going again, another organ would fail and she'd code on him. Three separate times, he was urged by nurses to call a time of death but he glared at every one of them and kept working.

He'd seen a lot in his time on the Enterprise – wounds of every variety. But this would be the one to haunt him. Her liver and kidney were destroyed. Khan had twisted and wiggled the knife so much while it was in her that the organs needed to be regenerated. But McCoy had to keep her alive long enough to implant the new liver and kidney. And even as he followed the procedures to a T, it seemed like she did not want to keep going.

"Come on, darlin'," he begged as he worked to revive her after the third coding. "Stay with me, love."

Jim had lurked around the med bay for a moment, for reasons McCoy had no time to suss out. But he'd disappeared again fairly quickly, pulled away by some comm message and as far as the doctor was concerned, good riddance. He didn't want an audience right now. He needed to concentrate. None of the accolades he'd received would matter if he lost her on that table.

Hours after the Reliant had blown up, he was still in surgery with her. He didn't care that they'd made it out alive. Didn't care that the scientists were safe, that more than half the Resurrection crew members had survived – none of it mattered.

Sabine had lost too much blood. He needed to give her a transfusion. He thought about when Jim had died and how he'd used Khan's blood to revive his friend. It would be quicker to give her the blood of someone from her own time. That wasn't a problem; there were plenty of them running around the ship. But what if he could get one who was augmented? It would help heal her faster.

McCoy did a search and the only one he could find, with certainty, to match up with her was John. McCoy grimaced. He knew now she hadn't slept with the other man but he still didn't relish spending time with him. It didn't matter. He didn't have the time or emotional energy to expend on avoiding John. So he ordered the other man to med bay, explained what he needed, and was not at all surprised at how willing her fellow time traveler was to help.

As McCoy hooked up the tubes for the transfusion to the other man's arms, he felt John's eyes on him. Reluctantly, he made eye contact.

"You know the truth now, right?" John asked him with no small amount of concern.

McCoy sighed. "Yeah, I do. I suppose fake memories die hard."

John nodded.

"You knew then?" McCoy asked him.

"Of course. Sabine wouldn't have done that without checking with me first. You know how she is about mind stuff. She wanted to make sure I was okay with you hating me. I didn't love it but at the time, we weren't sure we'd ever see anyone we'd known at the Academy again."

McCoy began the transfusion process and John watched the blood in the tube move towards his unconscious friend. He cleared his throat.

"When I came back to Starfleet...the first ship they assigned me to was the Enterprise. I made them reassign me. Figured you wouldn't take too kindly to seeing me around."

McCoy looked at John in surprise.

"That was mighty big of you," he replied, knowing how coveted a spot on the Enterprise was.

"Wasn't looking to borrow trouble," John replied. He gave McCoy a stern look. "She loved you. I'm sure she still does. Never thought I'd see her that happy again after…" He couldn't bring himself to mention his best friend. Dinesh's death on the Reliant had hit him hard.

"I'm sorry for everything y'all lost today. I love her too. I know I didn't do right by her for too long but, if she'll let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to her."

They both looked at the unconscious woman in her biobed. "You gotta save her," John said softly. "I don't think we can handle another loss." His eyes watered and McCoy realized he wasn't the only one who needed Sabine to make it through this ordeal. She had a whole group of friends, a life she'd lived before him.

"I'm doing everything I can," McCoy grumbled. "Every damn thing I can think of."

When the transfusion was over, John left med bay and McCoy continued to work, transferring a new liver and kidney into Sabine, fixing the complications as they arose and hovering by her bed, nervous and beyond tired, waiting for any sign that his work hadn't been in vain. Finally, he had exhausted every option. She wasn't dead, but she was barely alive. Unconscious, heart rate well below what it needed to be, brain in serious risk of de-oxygenation, and he had no idea if her body would accept the new organs. It should, but nothing else had gone his way so he half-expected it to reject the organs. But it would be a waiting game.

He didn't even realize Jim was standing next to him till the other man spoke.

"How is she?"

"I don't know," he replied with a weariness that went down to his bones. "It's in her hands now. I can't make her start breathing more rapidly. Can't make her accept a new liver and kidney. I just don't fucking know." His voice cracked at the end and Jim could feel the heartache radiating off his friend. But before he responded, McCoy walked away to his office, locking the door behind him.

* * *

She was somewhere nondescript. It wasn't a room, wasn't anything. There was no color to speak of – it was just a place. But she had never felt so peaceful before. She had no concerns. No one was trying to get her, there was nothing she needed to do. She just was. And it felt beautiful. She wanted to stay here forever.

A figure approached. She wasn't worried. There was nothing here to be afraid of.

"Hey," he said by way of greeting. She could understand him but she didn't recognize the language. It was nothing she'd ever heard before but she knew she could speak it. There was so much she could do now.

"Dinesh," she replied warmly. "You're here."

"Sure am." He looked at her for a moment. "Feels good, doesn't it?"

"I've never felt this relaxed," she agreed.

"I know. Makes what I'm about to tell you all that much harder."

"What?" she asked him, solely out of curiosity.

"You need to go back," he told her, taking her hand. "This place isn't ready for you yet."

Sabine sighed. "But it's so busy back there. People always trying to study us, always being in danger. I like this."

"I know you do," said a familiar voice. Sabine turned and Aubrey was there on her other side.

"You're here too?" she said, giving the other woman a hug.

"Yep. But I need you to go back. Cass needs you, babe. So does that handsome doctor of yours."

Sabine blushed.

"She's right," Dinesh added. "They need you back there more than you're needed here."

"I don't want to go back," Sabine pleaded. "Let me stay here. I want to see my parents, my grandmother."

"You can't, sweetie," Aubrey said gently. "It's not time. You've got a lot more to do back there."

Dinesh grabbed her hand and turned her to him. "It's gonna be different when you go back," he said as he pointed to his head. She knew what he meant. "But you have someone who loves you so much. Go back to him. Enjoy being free from trackers and agents and all that danger. Enjoy love." They embraced and Sabine wanted to explain to him that what she was feeling right now was enough. She didn't need to feel anything else. But she remained quiet, her sense of obligation kicking in. If they needed her back there, what choice did she have?

Sabine pulled away from Dinesh and looked at them both.

"I have to?"

"Yes," Aubrey said resolutely. "You must. People need you. I need you to be there for Cass."

Sabine hung her head. "Okay."

She hugged Aubrey tightly and the Pike sister whispered something in her ear but before she could figure it out, darkness surrounded her. And then there was pain.

* * *

There was always an emotional letdown after a major incident like what they'd experienced at Regula I. So much adrenaline flowing and suddenly, it was over. The danger had dissipated and now it was time to deal with the aftermath. Who had died? Who was injured?

"The paperwork alone is enough to send a person into spiraling depression," Jim thought as he looked at the stack of PADDs Janice had left him.

These weren't even the half of it. He needed to comm Command and tell them about the Resurrection crew members they'd brought forward in time. He sighed. Of the sixty crew members, twenty one had died. Another nine would return to their own time on Nara II. Which meant thirty crew members would remain in the here and now. Of the twelve he remembered from the Academy, three had died in the fight against the Augments – Taty, Mía, and Anthony. Other crews had taken heavier losses. Dinesh's crew had lost half its members. Whatever elation one had about winning the battle was tempered by the losses incurred for that victory. Jim had lost no crew – at least not yet. Latour was still critical but he believed in Bones. Still, Jim felt an ache over what Cass had lost, over all the lives they had pulled from death in the 21st century only to lose them a few days later here in the 23rd century.

Before he could go too far down the morose path his mind was leading him, the chimes to his quarters rang. He ordered the doors open and there was Carol with David.

He gave them both a wide smile, shaking off his sadness. There would be time later to mourn.

"We're getting ready to go back to the station," Carol told him. "I wanted to bring David by to say goodbye."

Jim knew the scientists and their families were eager to get back to the base. It was their home after all. But it had only been a few hours since the attack. He'd hoped Carol would stay longer. He had a son, for God's sake. He knelt down and held his arms out to David, who toddled to him. Carol watched the father and son together.

"I meant what I said earlier," she told him quietly, as he picked David up and held him. "I want you to be a part of his life. We can find a way to make this work."

Jim had so many unresolved feelings over finding out Carol had been pregnant whne she left – knowing that it was the reason she'd left the ship so suddenly. It had already occurred to him that Bones probably knew. He was her doctor when she'd been on the Enterprise. But Jim wasn't angry at his friend. He understood doctors had a duty to their patients and he was sure Bones hadn't been happy about keeping the pregnancy a secret.

"I should have told you," Carol said as he remained silent, looking at his son's eyes – his own eyes in a younger face.

"I wish you had. I wouldn't have made you stay. I know how much this ship consumes my time and I know it's no place for a baby. But it would have been nice to know what was happening. To be a part of his life, even in a small way, before now."

"I made a mistake. But I promise to make it up to you."

They walked together to the transporter room, David in Jim's arms the entire way. When they arrived, Spock was in the room, seeing off some of the other scientists. Jim gave David back to Carol and watched them get on the platform. Moments later, they were gone.

Before Jim had a chance to process the departure, he felt fingers brush against his own – lightly, ever so lightly, but the tingle left by the contact caused him to turn slightly and look at the Vulcan standing next to him.

"Would you care for some company on the way back to your quarters?" Spock asked him.

"Sure," he replied.

He and Spock hadn't had much time to talk about anything other than defeating the Augments over the past few days. When they got to Jim's quarters, the captain looked at his first officer.

"Care to join me? A game of chess, perhaps?"

"Yes. I would like that," Spock answered.

The two men entered, ready to discuss many things – Jim's son, the losses incurred in this latest mission, what to do with the Resurrection survivors, their relationship. With so much to discuss, was it any wonder Spock spent the night?

* * *

McCoy heard the alarm on his PADD and didn't even bother to look at it. There was only one patient in the med bay that he would be receiving an alarm for. He ran out of his office faster than he'd ever run in his life, tearing through the bay to get to her biobed. And there she was, still unconscious, but struggling to take huge gulps of air.

"Darlin'," he cried, taking her hand. He felt a faint squeeze in response.

"Chapel, I need a hypo of formoterol now," he yelled.

Christine rushed to grab the hypo and handed it to him. He injected Sabine and her breathing evened out. She hadn't opened her eyes yet but her heart rate was normalizing and she was breathing. He sighed, such relief filling him that he thought he might cry. Instead, he pulled up a chair. He wouldn't leave her bedside till she woke up. Her body accepted the replacement liver and kidney and still, she remained asleep. McCoy didn't understand. There was no reason she shouldn't be conscious already. But she wasn't dead and he needed to celebrate what victories he could.

She had a lot of visitors in the next few days. Resurrection crew members, Enterprise officers, and Cass. Besides McCoy, Cass spent the most time keeping a vigil by Sabine's bed, waiting for her to wake up. Cass had found the wait for Sabine's awakening to be agonizing but the bags under McCoy's eyes, and the look on his face as they spent hours on either side of her told Cass that whatever angst she was feeling during the wait was tenfold for Bones. She did her best to distract him, to try amusing him but neither Cass nor McCoy were in the mood for amusement. And as harried as McCoy felt over Sabine's prolonged revival, he understood just how much Cass was still hurting from losing Aubrey so when she showed up in med bay and refused to leave, he didn't push her. When she tried making stupid jokes or attempted to instigate squabbles over how much bourbon sucked or fried chicken didn't really taste that good, he humored her and gave his best efforts to sparring. But they both knew their hearts weren't into it. All they wanted was for Sabine to wake up. Cass needed the other woman's friendship and Bones needed the love of his life. Both of them were by her side when she opened her eyes, three days later.

"You're awake!" Cass cried.

"Give her some space," McCoy admonished and Cass glared at him before taking a step back. She'd waited just as long as he had for this moment. And yes, she understood they were lovers but it wasn't like they were gonna have an affection-filled reunion in the middle of the med bay.

Sabine didn't understand what the big deal was. It wasn't until McCoy explained just how long she'd been out, the length of the surgery, and all the complications, that she understood. She'd been dead.

"Did anyone not make it?" she asked quietly, her vision of Aubrey and Dinesh nothing more than a memory of a feeling at this point. She remembered feeling peace.

Cass and McCoy shared a look. "Don't worry about it right now," Cass said softly, feeding Sabine comfort before she realized the other woman could no longer sense what she was doing.

Later, they told her about the losses. She took it in stride though both Cass and McCoy couldn't miss how she paled when they told her Aubrey and Dinesh had died.

He kept her in med bay for another couple of days, wanting to ensure she was stable before he released her. Everyone was happy to see her but she seemed reserved. Part of it was undoubtedly the absence of her telepathic and telekinetic abilities. She didn't react when Cass explained to her that she'd given up her abilities to save Aubrey but McCoy suspected there was more going on under the surface. Visitors were constant after she woke up and she humored all of them, conversing with each one until McCoy would come by and drive them away. She would shoot him quick looks of gratitude as he harangued visitor after visitor to leave her in peace.

The people she seemed most relaxed around were McCoy, Cass, Jim, and Adjoa. Adjoa stopped by several times before returning to her ship and the two women talked softly each time. When Adjoa left, her cheeks would be wet but Sabine's eyes were always dry and she remained much as she had been since she'd woken up.

The stoicism worried McCoy for a reason he couldn't quite articulate. She'd always been strong but this seemed different somehow. Even though he'd spent the bulk of his relationship with her unaware of their connection, now that he couldn't feel her emotions and thoughts, he felt unsure around her. It didn't help that she treated him the same way she treated everyone else who came by to see her – there was little to no acknowledgement on her part that they were a couple. She shared his preference for keeping their love life private but this went beyond normal concerns about gossip. Even when they were alone, she kept him at a distance through her words and demeanor. He wondered if she intended to end things between them and, as he observed her from across med bay on her fifth day of convalescence, he once again found himself demanding internally just what the fuck had happened to her while she'd been unconscious. He knew, from his own memories of their connection, and a late-night conversation with Cass, what had happened on the bridge of the Reliant with Khan. What he had no clue about was why Sabine was now so reticent to…what? Talk to him? Be around him? Be here at all? He was trying refrain from taking her withdrawal personally but it was difficult.

"I'm gonna release you," McCoy told her after what had felt like an eternity of polite conversations that exhausted her. Sabine watched closely as he removed the sensors and IVs from her.

"Thank you," she replied.

As happy as he'd been to see her awake and watch her health improve, McCoy couldn't shake his sorrow at how distant she was. It wasn't that she'd forgotten – she had been able to give Jim a very detailed account of everything that had happened on the Reliant. It was just as though she had shut down some part of herself. She was Sabine but she was also a complete stranger.

"You mind if I stop by tonight?" he asked her, observing her closely for her reaction.

"Of course," she replied politely. "If you think it would be best." The noncommittal tone in her voice pierced him but he took that for a yes.

* * *

What had started as something akin to an Irish wake was now turning into a full-fledged party. Members of the Resurrection crew had gathered together to see their friends from Resurrection I off as they time traveled back to their own time on Nara II. Afterwards, people had stayed to mingle, with more and more Enterprise crew members trickling in to pay their respects. Some booze had appeared and now there was music. Laughter could be heard emanating from all over the room as friends remembered their lost crew members with stories of heroics and antics and everything in between. Jim found their optimism in the face of everything they had been through inspiring. He felt the depression that had settled over him after the end of the fight dissipating. He looked over to see Cass surrounded by Resurrection crew members and judging by the smile on her face, she was experiencing a similar pick-me-up. They made eye contact briefly and she nodded at him.

Jim excused himself from one conversation and walked around the room, listening to snippets of other conversations, watching as humans interacted with other life forms, soaking in the general sense of happiness radiating from the crowd. He started to feel that familiar zeal for adventure coursing through him once more. He couldn't wait to show the Resurrection crews what space had to offer. Spock looked at him across the room and Jim smiled at him, while the Vulcan raised an eyebrow in return. He really couldn't wait to share a moment alone with the Vulcan tonight, to share his lifted spirits with the other man.

McCoy scanned the room, looking for Sabine. She had been there when the Resurrection I crew had left – he'd seen her hug the surviving crew members, smiling as she wished them well, the smile not quite reaching her eyes. But now, he couldn't find her. Of course, some of that could be that the crowd kept getting larger. He made his way over to Uhura.

"You seen Sabine recently?" he asked her.

"Yeah, just a minute ago. Said she was gonna head back to her room," Nyota answered, taking a sip of her drink. "Is she okay?"

"Why do you ask?" McCoy demanded, wondering if she could see what he saw in the other doctor.

"She seems a little…off? Like not shock, but something else."

McCoy sighed. "I don't know what's going on with her. She's been pretty tight-lipped since waking up."

Nyota could sense his concern.

"Give her time, Len. You guys went through a lot on that ship. And she lost a lot of friends – some really close ones too – all at once."

"I know," he agreed. "I just hate watching her struggle and feeling so useless."

"You saved her life. You're hardly useless," Nyota reminded him.

Before he could answer, a handful of Klingons and Romulans, led by Toq and Charvanek, entered the room. While many of the Enterprise crew members froze, waiting for hostilities to start, the Resurrection crew members, and Jim, welcomed the groups with warmth and the party picked up its pace. Someone broke out a bottle of Romulan ale ("We just call it ale," Charvanek noted when she offered another couple of bottles to the festivities), and soon, everyone was mingling, Klingons out on the makeshift, designated dance floor, Romulans behind the bar, mixing all manner of new drinks. Jim was in his own personal heaven interacting with the Resurrection crew members. They could talk to him about classic music he loved, old movies he'd seen – it was fun to finally be surrounded by people who knew as much about history as much as he did, even if they knew it because they'd lived it.

McCoy quietly exited the room, not feeling quite as festive as so many of the participants seemed to be.

* * *

Her door chimes went off at 2100 hours. Sabine was momentarily confused until she remembered McCoy had said he would stop by. She ordered the doors open.

McCoy found her sitting cross-legged in the center of her bed. There was no music playing, no sign that she'd eaten or done much of anything. Of course, perhaps a part of that was because she'd been at the Resurrection crew gathering. Still, her quarters looked untouched since the last time they'd been in them, before heading down to Nara II. He wondered if she had just sat on her bed, staring at the wall when she hadn't been at the Resurrection gathering.

"Why are you here?" she asked him. "I thought you disapproved of house calls."

He stared at her a moment before answering. The blandness in her tone. It angered him. And maybe that was the problem. Why wasn't she angry? Why wasn't she sad? Where the fuck were her emotions? Maybe what she needed wasn't his concern – maybe she needed someone to rile her up into finally showing any emotion – good or bad. Well, if a fight was what it would take, Leonard McCoy was as good a man as any to come to. He squared his shoulders and looked her in the eye as he answered her.

"Normally, yes. But I watched you die more than once on that table. Given that I'm somewhat invested in your well-being, maybe you'll understand why I might want to stop by and see you," he replied with an edge in his voice. Hopefully enough edge to provoke her into a response.

"Are you worried I will code again?" There was a slight barb in her tone too. 'Good, now we're getting somewhere,' he thought with some satisfaction.

"No, of course not," he said, not bothering to hide his frustration. "I wanna make sure you're doing alright – you know – emotionally, mentally. You've been pretty withdrawn since you woke up."

"You would prefer tears?" An increase to the testiness in her voice. McCoy was simultaneously elated and aggravated.

"No, I don't need you to cry. Might be good for ya but I'm not here to check for wet cheeks. Why are you bein' so difficult about this?"

"Maybe I am tired of being observed, having my every move scrutinized," she shot back. "I am a doctor, too, after all. I will know if something is not right."

"Is that what you think I'm here for? Come on, darlin'. You know me better than that." McCoy's exasperation was reaching a breaking point but his relief that she was finally emoting pushed him to keep the conversation going.

"So this is not a purely professional call," she replied, exhausted by the mere idea of intimacy, still repulsed by the thought of touching someone else after all the times Khan had touched her and she'd let him in some ill-conceived plan to best him.

"No," he admitted. "I'm here because I care about you, goddammit."

"Why? You saw what I did on that ship. Why would you want anything to do with me?" Her voice still carried that edge to it but McCoy could see the cracks in her veneer.

He stopped being irritated at her. She wasn't pushing him away because she didn't want him – she was pushing him away because she felt like she didn't deserve him. McCoy suddenly understood that her strange behavior upon waking was being driven by depression and feelings of self-disgust within her and as much as that thought made him want to run to Sabine and scoop her into his arms so he could kiss every negative thought and feeling out of her mind, he knew that approach would fail. There was a good chance she'd kick his ass before he could get his arms around her anyway.

"That wasn't you, sweetheart. You did what you could to survive." He softened his tone and looked at her with compassion etched into every part of his face and Sabine thought the sight of all that concern might make her hurl.

"I killed an innocent man!" she yelled at him and he could see, in the way her fists clenched and her legs tensed up as she remained seated on the bed, that she'd been expending considerable energy keeping herself emotionless this whole time. Underneath that façade of cool detachment, she was roiling.

"Mirror Spock killed an innocent man. Think about it – you had all that blood pumping through you – all that anger and rage – and you still couldn't kill that man. Spock had to step in for you. You can't beat yourself up over what happened back there."

"It was my hands," she murmured. "It's in my memories. And I wanted to do it. I wanted it so badly."

They stared at each other for a beat.

"Do not give me platitudes and tell me everything is going to be okay," she finally warned him. "Just tell me the truth."

"Have I ever been the kind of person to give anyone a bunch of fake, cheery bullshit? All I'm sayin' is I was there in that head of yours. I saw how conflicted you were. You did the best you could in a shitty situation. And I wish to hell I coulda kept you from having to experience one second of it. I'm sorry I couldn't do more to protect you."

He pleaded with her through his eyes and while Sabine could not, for the life of her, understand why he would want to have anything to do with her, she realized he wasn't going anywhere. A part of her wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms but she knew, sooner or later, he'd see her for what she was. It was so clear to her; she didn't understand why no one had realized she belonged in the brig, not here in officer's quarters.

She finally patted the bed, silently asking him to sit down with her.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and she moved over to make room for him to join her. They said nothing and though McCoy found the silence stifling and awkward, Sabine didn't seem to mind it. Slowly, her hand made its way over to his, where she rested it on top of his outstretched palm.

"There was a time we could not do this," she mused. "And now, it is just one hand holding another."

He looked down at their hands pressed together but remained silent. Something inside told him to let her take her time.

"I spent so much time wishing for this. To be able to hold hands without any chance of telepathic interference. I wanted to be like this. My entire life, I wanted to be normal." He watched as a tear slid down her cheek and she turned to him. "The thing is, I do not know how to be normal," she said, a sob catching in her throat on the last word.

He wrapped his arms around her as she began to cry, really cry, and she burrowed against him. Through the tears, she began to open up once more.

"I do not deserve… to be here right now," she confessed. "…I did horrible things… and now everyone… wants to treat me… like a hero… They want me… to react a certain way… and I cannot… All I can feel is… disgust for myself."

He stroked her hair, made noises to let her know he was listening, but otherwise remained quiet so she could work through the emotions she'd been holding in over the past few days. His shirt was already soaked through in the spot where she'd pressed her face.

"I failed," she sobbed. "I wanted… to save Aubrey… but I did not have enough strength… to give her. Who knows… how much more… it would have taken? ...What if… I had not killed… all five Augments at once? ...If I… had not held… that torpedo? Would that… have been enough? …What could I… have done differently… to save Aubrey or Dinesh?"

It took a while for her to get through her thoughts as the sobs would interrupt her sentences or make her words garbled. McCoy had seen Sabine cry plenty of times over the course of their relationship but he had never seen her like this. It was as though she had opened floodgates inside herself.

"Darlin', you didn't fail anyone," he murmured. "You spent how many days on that ship having your powers depleted by that mad man? The fact that you gave Aubrey enough strength to hold him off, to ensure that he died – you have to know she was grateful for what you did."

And she did, in a superficial sense. Cass had shared her memories with Sabine. She knew what the end had looked like. But it didn't stop the guilt and the heartache of losing friends and lovers. It didn't stop her from feeling like she had failed Cass, even while the other woman had fed her nothing but love and friendship since she'd awakened.

"But I killed her," she cried, taking huge gulps of air in while her body shook with the sobs. "My research… I should have never done it… It was because… of my selfish interest… in augmented blood… that she died... I am to blame… for her broken mind."

"Love, listen to me," McCoy whispered in her ear. "You saw that med bay. Khan had hundreds of ways to break her. If it hadn't been through using your research, it would have been through some other, equally horrifying method. You can't blame yourself because of his evil actions. You did as much for Aubrey as you could have."

"The things…I felt when…he injected his blood…in me. …I cannot …stop …remembering everything…from that ship," she gasped. McCoy tightened his hold on her and pressed his lips against her forehead while she sobbed. He would have done anything to take the memories of their time on the Reliant away from her.

"We could talk to Cass or Spock," he said tentatively. "Ask them to help erase the memories if you want."

"No," she sobbed. "I have… to keep them. I hate what is… inside me… what I remember… But what happened… on the Reliant… is as much… a part of who I am… as every good memory I have… I cannot… get rid of the memories… just because they hurt."

"Whatever you want, love," McCoy murmured, rubbing her arm gently as she continued to cry. Sabine took a couple of deep breaths, pulled slightly away from McCoy, and wiped her eyes before continuing.

"What if it is still in me? All that hate, that want to hurt others?" She looked up at him with such panic and worry, he felt like his heart would beat its way right out of his chest.

"You don't have any of his blood in you anymore. You lost so much blood between the knife wound and surgery, I had to give you a transfusion," he explained. He'd already told her about the transfusion, but it didn't surprise him that she had forgotten given the bombardment of information she'd received over the last couple of days.

"Who? Whose blood did you use?"

"The only person I could find quickly who had your blood type – John. It helped that his blood was augmented; helped you heal faster. But you don't have to worry. You're you again. Khan's blood is gone."

The relief coursing through her was visible. Maybe she wasn't the horrible person she'd been seeing herself as since waking up after all. The feelings of a foreign presence in her were from John's blood, not Khan's. McCoy watched and felt as her shoulders lowered. She curled up against him, her sobs softer now.

"I want to be here for Cass and I do not know what that looks like now," she admitted. "I do not know how to take care of Cass or anyone else without my abilities." She needed him to understand how stripped down she felt – how alienating it was to not have those powers in her mind, always ready to come forward if she needed them.

"You're more than a telepath and a telekinetic," McCoy replied, cupping her chin and holding her face so that she met his gaze. "You were never just your abilities. Cass is your friend because she likes who you are, not because of what you could do with your mind. I fell in love with you in spite of your abilities. It hurts that they're gone, I know it does." And he did know. He missed feeling her in his mind, missed being able to enter her mind. "But you are still the woman I love. You're the woman your friends adore. And you still throw a helluva good punch."

She smiled in spite of herself. "How do you know? I have not punched anything since waking up."

"Maybe you should," he joked. "You're the toughest person I know whether your mind can do all those cool tricks or not. And I love you. With everything I am."

"I love you too," she whispered, leaning against him once more, her arm across his chest, holding onto him tight. For the first time since she'd woken up – no, since they'd been together in this room before she left for Nara II, McCoy felt happy. She did still love him. And oh God, he needed her to know how much she meant to him. He needed her to know she didn't have to carry these burdens on her own.

"I promised you we would get through bonding and now I'm gonna promise you we'll get through this. I'm here, with you, every step of the way," he murmured in her ear. She tightened her grip around his shoulders.

"I'm not being too mushy for you, am I?" he asked her.

"Just mushy enough," she answered.

They continued to talk as she worked through her feelings, her fears, and regrets. Nothing would be solved in a night but McCoy was so relieved to see her letting go of everything that had been festering inside her. Later, when she had exhausted herself, she fell asleep in his arms. McCoy closed his eyes and drifted off as well, holding her tightly. In the morning, the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was his face, eyes closed, his lashes casting shadows on his cheeks. He was breathing deeply as he slept and Sabine had never been happier to wake up next to someone. She caressed his cheek and McCoy opened his eyes. There she was. This was the Sabine he knew and loved. There was still pain and fear in her eyes and McCoy had no illusion about how hard her recovery would be. But he'd promised her they would do this together and he'd meant every word. Sabine took a shaky sigh and grabbed his hand. She knew he would be with her for all of it.


	124. Chapter 124

_Epilogue_

Spring had come early that year and it was a perfect day for eating lunch outside. The breeze off the water made the entire city shake off its winter blues and the parks were crowded with beings who all had the same idea – enjoy the mid-day break in the warmth of the sun.

A familiar face approached, but one that was lightyears away from where it should have been.

"Hey. What are you doing here? And where's your sig–"

"Questions will have to wait. If you want to live, I need you to come with me."

"What? You're not making any sense. Are you okay?"

"Fine, perfectly fine. I know this is strange but believe me – today is the day you die. In less than an hour. But we can prevent that. You just have to come with me."

"Uhhh…okay?"

Hand clasped hand.

In an instant, they were on an unfamiliar planet, in a crowded building reminiscent of a giant greenhouse. Beings from all across the galaxy were mingling with one another.

Quickly, an explanation was given and questions were answered.

"Now wait here, okay?"

"Wait here for who?"

"Just sit," was the impatient reply.

"I don't remember you being _this_  secretive before."

"A lot has changed, my friend. But I promise, you will not be disappointed."

So a seat was taken and patient waiting commenced. But then, through the crowd, on the other side of the massive floor, another familiar face. One that was searching intently.

He put his hand up and waved, hoping to catch her attention. When her eyes fell on him, she stopped moving, temporarily stunned. But then she was running. To him. And he stood up, walked, jogged, then ran to meet her.

"Oh my god, it's you! It's really you!" she exclaimed as she threw her arms around him.

"You missed me?" he teased but when she burst into tears, clutching her arms around his neck as though he might evaporate right in front of her, he realized the full impact of what their friend had told him.

"So it's true then. I woulda died if I'd stayed," he said in wonderment.

"I thought I'd never see you again." Cass sobbed. "How? How are you here right now?"

Varik looked around the wide open space, searching for Sabine. Was she still there? He found her, looking down at them from a balcony on the third floor and he tilted Cass's chin up till she saw the other woman.

"She's how I got here," he whispered in her ear.

Cass laughed through her tears and the reunited pair waved up at Sabine. She gave them both a wide smile and nod before backing away from the railing and disappearing from view. Cass turned to face Varik.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you," she gasped. He wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"I'm happy to see you too. Sounds like you've got a lot to tell me."

"Oh my fuck, you have no idea!"

He laughed, happy to hear her foul mouth, to see her foul mouth, in person, once more. He hugged her, picking her up and spinning her around while she laughed in incredulous happiness.

"Tell me everything," he said as he set her back down.

She grabbed his hand in hers. "Walk with me," she implored.

"I'd love to."

Watching the two Betazoids walk away together, hands entwined, Sabine handed the dilithium crystal pack to Adjoa.

"Merci, mon amie," she whispered.

"T'as fait une bonne chose là-bas," Adjoa replied.

"It was the least I could do for my friends," Sabine replied, wiping her own tears away.

She turned to Spock, who was standing silently alongside Adjoa.

"Thank you for helping us with this. I know it was an unusual request."

He nodded to her. "I must admit, the sensation of telekinesis is quite different than I anticipated." Something dangerously close to a smile played at Spock's lips.

"We should get you back to the ship," Sabine replied. "Go to med bay so we can monitor the drugs and make sure there is no damage."

"You two do that," Adjoa interjected. "Meanwhile, I must return to my own ship. There are adventures to be had! Worlds to discover!"

"Send our best to Toq!" Sabine replied.

"You and your captain are always welcome aboard the Enterprise," Spock said to Adjoa in parting because even when buffeted by the happiness shared by the humans around him, he remained formal.

"And you give my best to a certain doctor and captain, oh!" her best friend replied, giving Sabine a delicate elbow to the ribs while raising her eyebrows at Spock. Sabine laughed. Spock's ears turned slightly green.

The best friends hugged one another while Spock gave the traditional Vulcan hand gesture used for greetings and goodbyes and, after a couple of comms, all three were beamed up.

For the past several months, Cass had become a fixture on the Enterprise. She hadn't had any desire to continue with her previous antics, gladly handing over the reigns of her business to Theo and Oliver, knowing they would be as successful – no, more successful – than she had been. She and Sabine had watched as the rest of the Resurrection crew members departed, sometimes one by one, other times in groups, heading back to their respective ships or bases, or, for the ones newly transitioning to this time period, to the Academy so they could train to join the ranks of Starfleet officers all over the galaxy. Soon, it was just Cass once more. Sure, she had Sabine and Jim, Bones and Bangs, and the rest of the Enterprise crew, but as much as she loved all of them, there was still something missing. She felt like she was treading water.

Sabine knew she couldn't replace Aubrey. Aubrey's death was necessary – it ensured Khan was dead. But she had been playing with a whisper of an idea for some time now and once she voiced it to McCoy, then to Jim and Spock, a plan had been formed. Because this is what families did for one another and Cass was, for better or worse, a part of the Enterprise family. Which was why Sabine, Spock, and Adjoa ended up on an unfamiliar planet, watching Cass and Varik walk away, hand in hand.

In truth, Sabine owed a debt of gratitude to more than just Spock and Adjoa. She had contacted Theo and Oliver to find out what mixture of chemicals to use so that Spock would have the telekinesis needed to assist in her time travel. They'd also checked to make sure Varik's death wasn't a focal point in the timeline. Jim had helped ensure Cass was on the planet at the right time to meet up with Varik. Uhura kept Cass distracted with other things so that she didn't wonder where Sabine was as the plan was formulated and carried out. And both McCoy and M'Benga would be waiting for them when they returned to the ship to make sure Spock was healthy and unharmed by the drugs they'd injected. Most of all, she owed a thank you to Aubrey. The idea of going back and saving Varik had been in her mind from the time she had woken up from her near-death experience. She couldn't remember it but the words Aubrey had whispered in her ears before she left that peaceful place to come back had been simple and to the point: "Find Varik and reunite him with Cass." Sabine fulfilled her request.

* * *

The little boy sat on Jim's knee, grabbing at the holo comm screen.

"I think he's happy to see you," Jim said to Carol as David clapped.

"Oh, I'm happy to see you too, little man," Carol cooed at the screen, waving at David in return. "How are you? He's not overwhelming you, is he?" she asked Jim, her eyes dancing.

"Come on," Jim scoffed. "You think I can't handle a three year old?" He said nothing about just how much work keeping a little boy alive was. Jim had not previously realized toddlers were nothing more than tiny bundles of suicidal energy. He didn't know he was capable of certain levels of worry before David showed up.

"It is intriguing to watch you so worried over the choices of a child," Spock had murmured while McCoy had been much more to the point.

"Fuckin' delicious irony, right there," he'd muttered with a satisfied grin as Jim had fretted over a skinned knee.

For the life of him, Jim couldn't understand why David would be surrounded by so many cool toys and yet his favorite thing to do was to jump headfirst off the couch, narrowly missing the coffee table every time. But then he remembered his own childhood and it all made sense.

"Forgive me for doubting the great Jim Kirk," Carol laughed as David blew spit bubbles at the holo comm. Carol looked to the man standing behind Jim.

"Is he surviving alright, Spock?" she asked. Spock raised an eyebrow at her.

"Would you like the statistical likelihood of Jim having a nervous breakdown before the three weeks are up or would you prefer I tell you about how the first diaper changing went?"

Jim turned and gave Spock a look.

"Traitor," he mumbled as Carol laughed again. Jim turned back to the holo comm screen.

"We're fine. Everything's great. Certain Vulcans may find themselves sleeping on the couch, but otherwise, there's nothing to worry about!"

"Well, best of luck to you both," Carol deadpanned before turning her attention back to David. "And I will see you in three weeks, okay? Love you!" She waved at the screen and David waved back, hollering "Mama bye!" repeatedly even after the holo comm had ended.

"Jim, it would be highly illogical for me to sleep on your couch when I have perfectly good quarters next door."

Jim considered covering David's ears so he could tell Spock exactly where he could stick that idea but thought better of it as he smelled something distinct.

"Oh look," he said, as he handed David to Spock. "It's time for a diaper change. Since you're such a critic of my technique, have at it." He grinned wickedly as Spock looked at the boy in his arms.

Spock was nonchalant. "Certainly, Captain. Perhaps you'll learn something." He raised an eyebrow at Jim and made his way to the dresser they had converted to a changing station.

Later, as David napped, the two men enjoyed a quiet moment together on – of all things – the couch.

"Kids are exhausting," Jim said as he leaned into Spock. The Vulcan reached over and interlaced his fingers with Jim's, enjoying the Vulcan equivalent of a kiss.

"Indeed," Spock replied. "All the more when the child is related to someone as energetic and spontaneous as yourself."

"I'm taking that as a compliment, Commander."

"Why would you interpret it any other way?"

Jim smiled as he enjoyed the warmth radiating off of Spock, enjoyed the sensations of their hands clasped tight. Life was pretty great. He was the captain of the best ship in Starfleet, surrounded by a crew he loved, partnered with a man who fit together with him in ways he had yet to comprehend, and his child was sleeping peacefully in the next room. He wasn't sure life got any better than this.

* * *

The ring hovered above the dresser for a few seconds until McCoy came up behind her, and distracted Sabine with a hug and kiss on the cheek, at which point it fell on the dresser top with a small clatter.

"Look at you," he whispered in her ear. "I'm tellin' ya, you'll be holding off torpedoes in no time."

She laughed. "Doubtful, mon amour. But it is something."

It had all started six months beforehand when she'd awakened from a dream and found McCoy staring at her.

"Did you just dream about living in Atlanta with me after the ship's mission is over?" he'd asked incredulously and she'd realized they had shared the dream. Since then, she'd had small bursts of telepathy and telekinesis intermittently. She knew what she was doing this time around but still found herself frustrated with how slowly things were moving along. She wanted more than just a taste at a time. But as she slid the sapphire ring on her finger, she realized how significant it was that she was experiencing any extranormal mental activity.

McCoy, however, was thinking of something else altogether.

He nibbled her ear gently before whispering, "You know, we still have an hour before Jo's supposed to show up." His hands tugging on her uniform skirt gave her no confusion as to what he had in mind to pass the time.

"What if she shows up early?" she asked in mock protest, pressing herself against him at the same time.

"They'll comm us," he breathed, turning her around to face him. "It's not like they're just gonna send her traipsing around the ship to walk in on us."

"Mmm, now that you have said it, Jim is going to do just that…or walk her here himself and then both of them will catch us." Her words were muffled as he pulled her uniform over her head. She knew she was fighting a losing battle. She wanted to lose the battle, as evidenced by her hands first on his pants, then pulling at his shirt.

"We better make this quick then," he said before kissing her to keep her from any further reservations.

"Not too quick," she giggled between kisses, her hand on his crotch, rubbing him through his pants, reveling in feeling him grow harder. He pulled her panties down and she undid his pants, tugging them down as well. Soon, they were naked.

"Come here," he growled, pulling her down on top of him as he sat on the edge of the bed.

McCoy had waited for Sabine to make the first move after she'd recovered from the stabbing. And it had taken her some time but once she'd shown up at his doors one night, a couple of weeks after the Reliant incident, they'd been inseparable. She had all but moved into his quarters, though she was planning to return to her own for Joanna's visit. Knowing he would be without her for the next week, McCoy fully intended to enjoy their last intimate moment together for a week. And Sabine was doing her best to help, as she rocked her hips against him.

She took him in slowly, savoring how he stretched her, how good it felt; she was never going to tire of this.

"My God, beautiful," he moaned once he was fully seated inside her. She smiled and kissed him before beginning to move against him once more. His hands roved her body, one finally settling on her breast, the other at the nape of her neck, a handful of hair in it. Her rhythm was steady as she angled herself so that each thrust rubbed her in such a way to stimulate her bud as well. Soon, she began to move more erratically, sounds of pleasure bubbling up from within her. McCoy moved his hands down to her buttocks, pulling her closer as he moved against her, his own climax never far behind hers.

Their cries echoed in the room but they were too wrapped up in their gratification to care. After they had come, they fell back onto the bed, his arm around her back to keep her close to him. Content to rest like that for a few minutes, Sabine finally looked at the clock on the bedside table.

"Come on," she urged him. "We need to get dressed."

They didn't put their uniforms back on though. For the rest of the day, they were wearing civvies. They had a surprise for Joanna and the friend she was bringing with her. McCoy had grumbled about an extra visitor but Sabine had explained his daughter was at that age where you wanted a friend with you on a trip like this and he'd grudgingly acquiesced.

They got the comm that she was about to arrive and headed to the transport room.

"Dad," the young girl cried after she materialized on the platform, bounding off it to give McCoy a huge hug. "Sabs!" She hugged the telepath tightly. "We're so excited to see you guys! This is T'Pala."

Sabine greeted Jo's friend with a smile on her face. She looked over at McCoy to see his reaction. "Nice to meet ya," he said stiffly before looking at Joanna and commenting, "I had no idea your best friend was Vulcan. We have a Vulcan here on the ship, you know."

T'Pala nodded gravely. "He is half-human like I am," she said and Sabine made a mental note to make sure the girl met Spock one-on-one before the week was over.

Sabine was so proud of McCoy for not freaking out but he did give her a panicked look when the girls weren't looking.

"You are not in uniform," the young Vulcan observed and Sabine realized this visit had just become that much more fun – for her at least.

"No," she replied before McCoy ran out of his limited diplomacy. "We thought we'd take you both to the holodeck today."

Joanna lit up at the prospect while T'Pala quirked an eyebrow in a Vulcan show of interest and after ensuring their bags were sent to McCoy's quarters, the foursome walked to the holodeck.

"What are we gonna see?" Jo asked enthusiastically.

"We can do whatever you want," McCoy replied. "Sabine has a program for Paris if you're interested in that kind of thing."

Joanna and T'Pala turned to her.

"You refer to the Paris destroyed during WWIII, I presume? Not the one currently being built," T'Pala asked, her seriousness so incongruous with her youth.

"Correct," Sabine answered.

"It's where she came from," Jo told T'Pala.

Sabine and McCoy exchanged a glance. It wasn't like she hid it anymore but it was strange to realize his daughter had told her friends her dad's girlfriend was from the past.

"I would very much like to see Paris," T'Pala remarked.

"Me too," Joanna added. "Will everyone be speaking your language?"

"Yes, it will be in French. You can use universal translators, if you'd like."

"But you can translate for us too, right?" Jo looked up at her with bright eyes.

"Whatever you prefer," Sabine answered with a smile.

The girls enjoyed walking through Paris and more of T'Pala's human side began to show as they took in all the sights and sounds. As they were walking along the Seine, Jo and T'Pala turned back to the adults.

"Can we take one of the boat tours?" Jo asked.

"Sure," McCoy replied. "You two want to go on your own?"

Joanna's eyes lit up. "Mom never lets me do that kind of thing alone."

"Well, it's a holodeck," McCoy replied. "There's only so much trouble you can get into." Though he grimaced as he thought about the trouble so many crew members got into on the holodeck. He was pretty sure he didn't have to worry about that with these two. A look from Sabine confirmed she had set the holodeck on youth-friendly mode. The girls would be fine.

They agreed to meet in an hour in front of Notre Dame and the girls took off down the stairs of the quai to catch the next bateau mouche.

Alone, Sabine and McCoy continued walking along the river, hand in hand. As they approached the Eiffel Tower on their left, he turned to Sabine.

"We did it again," he said to her. They'd made this walk together so many times, usually ending it with a picnic in the grass by the Eiffel Tower.

"Recreated the dream?" she asked, knowing already what he meant.

He nodded. "To think that dream used to fill me with so much anxiety."

"Your subconscious was probably worried about all the germs on the holodeck," she teased.

He stopped and put his arms around her as she leaned against the quai wall.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," McCoy said quietly as a breeze ruffled his hair.

"Mmm, this sounds interesting," she replied with a twist of her lips.

He took a gulp of air and proceeded. "I've been looking at your research again," he started and a cloud passed through her eyes. "I know how you feel about it but just listen to me, darlin'."

She sighed and nodded her assent.

"You're not augmented, love," he told her and she looked up at him in surprise.

"How do you know?" she asked, no accusation in her tone – just curiosity.

"A few ways. Some has to do with how you reacted to both Khan and John's blood. There's also the fact that Cass, as a part-human, has the marker whereas a pure Betazoid, like Varik, doesn't. And when I looked at the blood samples of your fellow time-traveling telepaths, they all shared the same marker as well. But this isn't even the thing I want to focus on. I'm only bringing up the research because I identified what the marker was you share with those who've been augmented. It's related to your mental abilities."

"What have you found?" Sabine asked, seeing the excitement in his eyes.

"I've run a couple of tests. I think I found a way to accelerate growth of your telepathic and telekinetic abilities."

Sabine stared at McCoy a few minutes before breaking out into a grin. "Is this what you do when you sneak out of bed at night?"

He gave her a look. "I thought you were asleep. Didn't realize you knew I was getting up."

"I figured you had your reasons," she replied.

"If you want," he said cautiously, "we could try to speed up your progress. I understand if you don't want to mess with things but I know how much you miss having your abilities at the level they once were."

Sabine didn't answer him verbally, instead throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly. Later, they could discuss the risks, the likelihood of success, whether having her abilities at full power would mean bonding – all the serious stuff could wait. Right now, she was just so grateful to have this man in her life – someone who worked so hard to make her happy even when she least expected it.

"I love you," he whispered.

"Je t'aime aussi. Toujours," she replied.

Looking at her, he felt like the luckiest man in the universe. Looking at him, she felt like she was home, finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Thanks so much for reading, everyone! Your feedback is always welcome! I'll be back soon with a shorter AU fic and I've got a couple of ideas I'm tossing around for after that. LLAP!


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